1. I want some sort of document about
what we've been trying to do here.
Copy !req
2. I get to pick the writer.
I'm going with New York Magazine and you.
Copy !req
3. What about our history?
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4. - You dated him?
- Brian Brenner is the guy I cheated on Will with.
Copy !req
5. - Wow.
- Tell me about this new debate.
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6. The RNC is looking at Will
to possibly host a debate,
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7. and Will and Mac have an idea for
a new debate format we want to show them.
Copy !req
8. Whose idea was it to not cover
the Casey Anthony trial?
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9. - It was mine.
- It was hers.
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10. Half our audience changed
the channel in one week.
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11. I want the debate.
If that means we have to be Jerry Springer
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12. for a few weeks,
I'm willing to pay that price.
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13. The night we got bin Laden
I got a call from an anonymous source.
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14. He works in software
engineering at the NSA.
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15. We have to start vetting him
and the documents.
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16. You got some tweets
from Congressman Weiner.
Copy !req
17. And I've got copies
of them right here.
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18. We can do a pre-tape.
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19. - Will.
- Yes, I'm sure I want to do this.
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20. God, please give me a sign
I'm not doing a big thing badly.
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21. Backup generators should
have come on already.
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22. Maybe it just
needs a minute.
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23. It doesn't just need a minute.
It's an emergency generator
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24. that's supposed to make
a seamless handoff
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25. so if this happens
during a show— Herb?
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26. Power's out
in the whole building.
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27. It's been explained
to me 19 different ways
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28. how we can never
lose power in the studio.
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29. What about all
the redundancies?
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30. There was a round of budget cuts
before you got here.
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31. - And they cut some of the redundancies...
- Don't say it.
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32. - because they thought they were redundant.
- Mm-hmm.
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33. Okay.
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34. - That's a good sign, right?
- Those are battery powered.
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35. - When should I start to worry?
- I'd have started already.
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36. Electricians are on their way.
Copy !req
37. We lost power in the studio.
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38. What makes you say that?
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39. Everybody, listen up.
It's the whole building.
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40. We've sent for maintenance
to check on our generator.
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41. Okay, they should be here
in a couple of hours.
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42. Neal, I want you
to be in charge
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43. of rationing battery life
for laptops and cell phones.
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44. - I have a question.
- Yes?
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45. What if the power
doesn't go back on?
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46. I don't think that's
a realistic possibility.
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47. I don't mean ever. I mean what if
the power doesn't go on by showtime?
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48. Do we have a contingency?
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49. No.
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50. Mac?
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51. A miracle.
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52. A miracle happens.
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53. We become a team again.
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54. We all hate this, right?
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55. We're gonna hate it more after
10 minutes of no air conditioning.
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56. No, not the power outage.
We hate what we're doing.
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57. We hate that we're covering
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58. Casey Anthony
and Anthony Weiner.
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59. We hate that we have to do it
to save the ratings.
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60. We hate that we have
to bump important stories.
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61. And we're starting to be
not very pleasant people to be around.
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62. Guys, this is real.
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63. I'm not making this up.
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64. Just a minute ago when
I was prepping for a pretape
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65. with that idiot who's
still sitting in the studio—
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66. - Are you talking about me?
- No!
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67. Yes. When I was prepping
for her pretape I said,
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68. "God, please show me a sign
that I'm not doing a big thing badly."
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69. And right that second
all the power went out.
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70. And so obviously I thought,
"There's my answer."
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71. Raise your hand if Mac's
freaking you the hell out right now.
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72. No, listen to me!
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73. Just tell us how we do the show
if the power doesn't—
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74. By being a team again.
And that was God's plan.
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75. Keep God out of this
and talk more about electricity.
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76. We do the show outside
right in the plaza.
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77. - How?
- Yeah, we can do this.
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78. What do we need?
A desk, a camera,
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79. some microphones,
and a way to beam a signal into space.
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80. The grips take apart the anchor desk.
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81. And carry it down 25 flights?
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82. You bet your ass they do.
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83. We can use a single
tripod-mounted handheld.
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84. - We park a sat truck out there.
- That's right.
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85. - Run the video and graphics through Washington.
- Yes!
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86. I'm in your sight line the whole time,
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87. in your ear and standing next to camera.
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88. I'll have a laptop with
a constant iNews connection.
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89. How do we get power to
editors to run the Avids?
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90. What did they do in Apollo 13?
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91. They shut down all the power
in the command module
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92. and siphoned it into the LEM.
I don't think that's gonna work here.
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93. What would they have done if
there was a hardware store in space?
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94. - Buy a generator.
- We're gonna buy two.
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95. One goes in an Avid bay
and the other stays downstairs.
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96. - What time does the sun set tonight?
- 8:37.
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97. Why in the world
would you know that?
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98. One of those things.
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99. We'll need HMis with gels
for the top half hour
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100. and incandescents for the bottom half.
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101. We need the NYPD for security
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102. and we need to trust each other.
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103. Does anybody think
we're not good enough
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104. - to pull this off?
- No!
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105. - Should I still be sitting here?
- I'm so sorry, Sandy.
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106. I know you had your heart
set on entertaining us
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107. with private details of a man
you were sexting with
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108. and maybe a Playboy spread,
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109. but we're not able to do pretape.
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110. So if you want to do the show,
you're gonna have to do it live.
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111. I already committed to Fox,
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112. and no offense,
but it's a bigger audience.
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113. Shoot!
Does anybody think we can't do this?
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114. - No!
- This is a blessing in disguise.
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115. I say the power going out
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116. is the best thing that
ever happened to us.
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117. I say the power going out
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118. is what is gonna save this—
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119. Son of a bitch!
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120. You're a freaking riot,
you know that?
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121. I meant to tell you,
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122. you should use the word
bombshell more
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123. in the Casey Anthony
coverage tonight.
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124. Sandy, you're back in business.
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125. - Great.
- Let's go.
Copy !req
126. Bombshell after bombshell today
in the trial of Casey Anthony
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127. for the murder of her
two-year-old daughter Caylee.
Copy !req
128. Casey's brother,
Lee Anthony, took the stand
Copy !req
129. to testify about the events
of the night of July 15, 2008,
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130. when Caylee was reported missing.
Copy !req
131. - Watch and listen. It's riveting stuff.
- Roll five.
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132. When you asked your sister
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133. why won't you allow us
to see Caylee,
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134. what do you recall her saying?
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135. I told Detective Edwards that she said—
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136. I'm paraphrasing—
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137. "Because maybe I'm a spiteful bitch."
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138. Lee Anthony described
his odyssey that month
Copy !req
139. trying to find his missing niece.
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140. Oddly, he was never questioned
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141. about the defense's claim
he molested Casey.
Copy !req
142. For the latest,
we're joined live from Orlando
Copy !req
143. by ACN's Selena Machado.
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144. - Can you describe how you're feeling right now?
- No.
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145. Selena, how did Casey seem today
during her brother's testimony?
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146. Well, her demeanor
was different with Lee
Copy !req
147. than it was with her mother.
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148. The normally outspoken
Democratic New York congressman
Copy !req
149. is suddenly tongue-tied and evasive.
Copy !req
150. Here he is again today with
The Today Show's Luke Russert.
Copy !req
151. - Roll 16.
- That's not a picture of you?
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152. You know,
I can't say with certitude.
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153. My system was hacked.
Pictures can be manipulated.
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154. Pictures can be dropped
in and inserted.
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155. Someone committed
a prank on me.
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156. Somehow got access
to my Twitter account
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157. and right away put up a picture
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158. that made fun of the name Weiner.
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159. Hey, we can be doing
mock debate prep during this.
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160. Hey, debate prep.
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161. You don't have to watch this.
Copy !req
162. We don't know for sure
what happened here.
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163. I spoke earlier today with Sandy Witless,
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164. - a bartender—
- Whiddles, like carving wood.
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165. Excuse me, Sandy Whiddles,
a bartender here in Manhattan
Copy !req
166. who had been tweeting with
Congressman Weiner for the past several months.
Copy !req
167. - Here's that interview.
- Roll 22.
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168. - Thank you for speaking to us, Sandy.
- Thank you.
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169. When did you become a
Twitter follower of the congressman?
Copy !req
170. Let me say first that
I was more than a follower.
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171. We had a relationship,
which is obvious when you read the texts.
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172. Does he usually smoke at his desk?
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173. I have copies of
the texts right here.
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174. I know you're eager to read the tweets.
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175. - We'll get to those in a moment.
- Okay, because—
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176. Did the congressman ever
talk to you or tweet to you
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177. anything that he was working on
in one of his committees?
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178. No. I have copies
of the tweets right here.
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179. Two minutes and 20 seconds
in the C block
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180. to educate the public on the most
irresponsible economic inaction in my lifetime.
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181. I know, it's all upside down
because of Casey Anthony.
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182. - Once ratings are back up—
- We're committing journalistic malpractice.
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183. Fortunately,
there's no such thing.
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184. How great would it be if there was?
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185. I can understand your frustration.
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186. - What's your thing again?
- It's a website for trolls.
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187. They get together and talk
about their conquests.
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188. And I want to produce a story
and Mac's given me the go-ahead
Copy !req
189. - to go to the next level.
- Go on the website?
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190. Yeah, but I can't get
in the conversation
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191. till I can point to another
website and show how I've—
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192. - Been an asshole?
- Yes.
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193. I have to go onto a message board
and disrupt the conversation
Copy !req
194. to the extent that havoc ensues.
Copy !req
195. Then I can go on the troll website
and brag about it.
Copy !req
196. But you don't want to do
something or say something
Copy !req
197. - that would hurt someone you don't know.
- Right.
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198. You want to say things
that would hurt me.
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199. Yes.
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200. What website?
Copy !req
201. You've heard of EconomyBrain.com?
Copy !req
202. Yes, it's a financial news aggregate blog
and discussion forum
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203. that attracts an intelligent
level of debate.
Copy !req
204. And the commenters have
a very high opinion of your analyses.
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205. So you'd like my permission to—
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206. Jump in there and invent heinous
and incendiary lies about you,
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207. end the intelligent debate,
and start a whole new one
Copy !req
208. about, say,
whether or not you're a whore.
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209. My dad has friends
who are economists, too.
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210. So with Father's Day
just around the corner,
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211. - this'll save me the trouble of shopping for him.
- I know.
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212. Just print out the whole whore debate
and put it in a nice frame for him.
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213. It would be my first story.
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214. And I really think it's a good one.
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215. I think so, too.
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216. Just let me know when it's over.
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217. - You're the greatest.
- I really am.
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218. This is Hang Chew's.
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219. The staff adopted it as their hangout
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220. 'cause they get cheap
food and drinks until 9:00.
Copy !req
221. - Can you spell that?
- N-I-N-E O-C—
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222. Okay.
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223. Is it important that you
treat me like I'm an asshole?
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224. I wouldn't say
important so much as
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225. - it just sort of feels right.
- I know you'd agree it would be better
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226. - to keep our personal past out of this.
- Yeah.
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227. That said, I'd like to point out that
you broke up with me, too.
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228. - Listen, Brian—
- I broke up with you, we got back together,
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229. and then you broke up with me.
Those are the facts.
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230. I sure hope we're
on the record for this.
Copy !req
231. And during the second act,
you were with Will behind my back.
Copy !req
232. Once again,
I was with you behind Will's back.
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233. Yeah, and it makes me feel great
when you say that,
Copy !req
234. but I do think we should
stick to the story.
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235. The story is this:
Will is a heavyweight.
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236. And for a long time he was
pretending to be a lightweight.
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237. - Because lightweights get higher ratings.
- Yes.
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238. Will's a lonely guy, isn't he?
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239. - Is he—
- He's lonely.
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240. He doesn't care about ratings
because of the money.
Copy !req
241. He cares about ratings
because the audience
Copy !req
242. makes him feel less lonely.
Copy !req
243. What do you plan on
writing about, Brian?
Copy !req
244. I don't know yet.
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245. I have to talk to Sloan.
Excuse me one second.
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246. He is a lonely guy.
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247. I don't know if that
started around the time
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248. I told him I'd been
sleeping with you,
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249. but I'll bet it didn't help.
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250. Governor Pawlenty,
the possibility exists
Copy !req
251. that New Hampshire
will become the 23rd state
Copy !req
252. to pass right-to-work legislation.
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253. As president, would you support
a federal right-to-work law?
Copy !req
254. - You should have this.
- Give me a second.
Copy !req
255. for much of my life
my father was a Teamster truck driver.
Copy !req
256. My brothers and sisters were in unions.
Copy !req
257. - I was in a union.
- We grew up in a blue-collar town.
Copy !req
258. We live in the United States of America.
Copy !req
259. Governor, we know where we live.
Would you support—
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260. People shouldn't be forced to belong to
or be a member of any organization.
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261. Yes, I strongly support
right-to-work legislation.
Copy !req
262. That's what
an answer sounds like.
Copy !req
263. - Can I talk to you a sec?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
264. Just the fact that they're debating
Copy !req
265. - whether or not to raise the debt ceiling—
- I'm trying.
Copy !req
266. I need to find a Casey Anthony guest
no one else has.
Copy !req
267. And hopefully I won't be able to do it.
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268. - I'll be rooting against you.
- Good.
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269. - You doing all right over there?
- With him?
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270. - Yeah.
- Yeah.
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271. 'Cause you give me the signal
and I can just get in there
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272. - and, you know.
- What?
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273. - I don't know.
- Okay.
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274. - Debt ceiling.
- Yeah.
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275. Just hang in there
one more day.
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276. It's not one more day.
It's another month.
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277. The mock debate's tomorrow.
Copy !req
278. And once that's over,
we need the numbers to protect you from Leona.
Copy !req
279. Not if Charlie's guy can do it for us.
Copy !req
280. And if he doesn't
turn out to be credible?
Copy !req
281. Then— I don't know.
Let's take it one day at a time.
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282. And get a guest
that's promotable.
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283. What are the flowers?
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284. Nothing.
Copy !req
285. - Who are they from?
- I don't know.
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286. They didn't come with a card?
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287. - They did.
- The card wasn't signed?
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288. - It was.
- Was it another threat?
Copy !req
289. - No.
- What am I missing?
Copy !req
290. Do you really want this
on your plate right now?
Copy !req
291. The flowers aren't for me,
they aren't from me,
Copy !req
292. they're just living in
my office for a little while.
Copy !req
293. Can you be satisfied with that?
Copy !req
294. - Are they for me?
- Let's go.
Copy !req
295. - Speaker Gingrich.
- Yes?
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296. As a candidate for the
Republican nomination for president,
Copy !req
297. you signed a fidelity pledge
promising to be faithful to your wife.
Copy !req
298. - Now hold it right there.
- Didn't you also make that same pledge
Copy !req
299. at your three marriage ceremonies?
Copy !req
300. I find it absolutely disgusting
that the liberal media—
Copy !req
301. - Fine.
- No, that would be his answer.
Copy !req
302. I know. Are these guys gonna
be ready for tomorrow?
Copy !req
303. - Absolutely.
- We blow the mock debate,
Copy !req
304. we've been doing Casey Anthony
and Anthony Weiner for nothing.
Copy !req
305. They understand.
Copy !req
306. The debate is the only reason
we're scared of the numbers.
Copy !req
307. - Right.
- The only reason.
Copy !req
308. Right.
Copy !req
309. We need a Casey Anthony guest
no one else has.
Copy !req
310. Let me start here.
Copy !req
311. By any chance does anyone
know anyone who knows anyone
Copy !req
312. who knows Casey Anthony?
Copy !req
313. Who?
Copy !req
314. My roommate Lisa
went to high school with her.
Copy !req
315. - Are you kidding me?
- No.
Copy !req
316. Why didn't you—
Get her on the show.
Copy !req
317. She's already been approached by
everyone including the agent.
Copy !req
318. - Dylan Kagin.
- She doesn't want to talk.
Copy !req
319. - Convince her.
- She really doesn't want to talk.
Copy !req
320. Be a producer.
Do you want me to talk to her?
Copy !req
321. No, I can do it.
Copy !req
322. When you've got her booked,
let me know so they can start the promos.
Copy !req
323. Do whatever you have to do.
Copy !req
324. Okay.
Copy !req
325. I like it. I do.
But does it say Tonys?
Copy !req
326. Well, it's the Tonys. You're gonna be
the youngest person there by about 50 years.
Copy !req
327. You know what I mean, right?
Copy !req
328. I think it looks spectacular on you.
Copy !req
329. It's so hard.
I'm just not sure it's for the Tonys.
Copy !req
330. What about Galliano?
Copy !req
331. We, um—
We stopped carrying Galliano
Copy !req
332. after he, you know,
came out in support of the Holocaust.
Copy !req
333. I mean, I don't agree with him,
but that's no reason to condemn him for life.
Copy !req
334. If only the Germans had had the same attitude.
I told you on the phone—
Copy !req
335. - I know, that's why we came in person.
- We?
Copy !req
336. - I'm just here in charge of morale.
- I'm with a customer.
Copy !req
337. - We're not in a hurry.
- We're actually in a huge hurry.
Copy !req
338. And I'm actually at my job
where I work on commission.
Copy !req
339. And I'm with a customer,
so I'll be done when she's done.
Copy !req
340. - Is that her?
- You mean the only person in the store?
Copy !req
341. - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
342. Miss, I'm just a random
heterosexual guy
Copy !req
343. from off the street and I think
that dress looks great on you.
Copy !req
344. Don't even look at anything else.
Copy !req
345. Buy that dress and wear
it out of the store.
Copy !req
346. He's just a—
Don't worry.
Copy !req
347. - It would have meant more if you'd said you were gay.
- Why is that?
Copy !req
348. I think I'm gonna try on the Di Santo.
Copy !req
349. Sure. Can I get you
another glass of wine?
Copy !req
350. Ooh, I'd love that.
Thank you.
Copy !req
351. They're counting on me.
You'd be a big exclusive.
Copy !req
352. It's what's called a get.
It's promotable.
Copy !req
353. And we need things
that are promotable
Copy !req
354. so we can get daytime viewers
to stay with us for the story.
Copy !req
355. Not for nothing, but you've never used
any of those words before.
Copy !req
356. Well, sure, I have.
But not in that order.
Copy !req
357. Guys, it makes me sick.
It's an unspeakable horror that's happened.
Copy !req
358. It's not a television show
and I'm not joining the cast.
Copy !req
359. And by the way, a week ago you guys
would have said the same exact thing.
Copy !req
360. - A week ago we weren't fu—
- This is bananas!
Copy !req
361. Well, the bodice hugs
your body perfectly.
Copy !req
362. Look how it shows off your legs.
See that?
Copy !req
363. - I do.
- You just got two inches taller.
Copy !req
364. - Okay, but the big question—
- Does it say Tonys?
Copy !req
365. - Miss.
- Oh, God.
Copy !req
366. That dress screams Tonys.
Copy !req
367. You're gonna win in that dress.
Copy !req
368. Oh, God, no.
I'm not a nominee.
Copy !req
369. That's how good the dress is.
Copy !req
370. You wear that dress and they'll just start
Copy !req
371. throwing Tony Awards at your head.
Copy !req
372. You, I promise,
will have skull contusions
Copy !req
373. if you wear that dress to the Tonys.
Copy !req
374. I'd be terrible at this job.
Copy !req
375. Yeah, I have a McQueen
that you may love.
Copy !req
376. And you know what?
If you take it right now, it's on the house.
Copy !req
377. - I'm afraid it's not.
- Well, then it's on me.
Copy !req
378. - It's $11,000.
- For a dress?
Copy !req
379. Once again, I work on commission.
Copy !req
380. That's three times
what I paid for my car.
Copy !req
381. - Let me know if you need any help in there.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
382. A week ago we weren't screwed.
Copy !req
383. I knew her, that's it.
We cut third period together.
Copy !req
384. Will's gonna treat you very gently.
Copy !req
385. Well, guess what—
Did she kill children during Spanish?
Copy !req
386. - You can provide insight—
- No, I can't.
Copy !req
387. No, I can't.
I can't provide insight.
Copy !req
388. I have no earthly idea how she—
Copy !req
389. How this could have happened.
Copy !req
390. I can't provide insight and I can't stand
the people who think they can.
Copy !req
391. Lisa, I need a little help
with these buttons.
Copy !req
392. Sure.
Copy !req
393. You know what
these pants cost me?
Copy !req
394. - $30.
- That's right.
Copy !req
395. And they look just as good
as the ones that cost $40.
Copy !req
396. You think they're
kissing in there?
Copy !req
397. Do you think
they're kissing in there?
Copy !req
398. If I was a woman,
I'd spend the whole day kissing other women.
Copy !req
399. I don't understand gay men
or straight women.
Copy !req
400. You know you're talking out loud, right?
Copy !req
401. Take a look.
I think it's whimsical and romantic,
Copy !req
402. but it's still chic.
Copy !req
403. - I love it.
- Look how it defines your waist.
Copy !req
404. - I love it!
- We have a winner.
Copy !req
405. - Can we accessorize?
- No, I'm sorry, miss.
Copy !req
406. We need to speak to Lisa
for just one minute.
Copy !req
407. You can browse in the accessories section
and we'll give her right back to you.
Copy !req
408. This isn't her fault, it's ours.
Copy !req
409. - Please patronize this store.
- What?
Copy !req
410. Take a look at the jade earrings
and I'll be right with you.
Copy !req
411. - Okay.
- Am I not making myself clear?
Copy !req
412. Lisa, look at me.
Copy !req
413. You know that there is
no way we'd be asking you
Copy !req
414. to do something like this
if it wasn't important.
Copy !req
415. We got ambushed by the trial
at the worst possible time.
Copy !req
416. There's a new debate format we want to
show to reps from the RNC tomorrow.
Copy !req
417. And if we can't keep the ratings going up,
it's not gonna matter.
Copy !req
418. We've been working on this for months
and it's important.
Copy !req
419. And it's a good thing for everybody.
Copy !req
420. We can debate whether the ends
justify the means—
Copy !req
421. Will and Mackenzie are counting on you?
Copy !req
422. I don't have anything to say.
Copy !req
423. You won't be asked anything
you don't know the answer to.
Copy !req
424. Okay, what do I do?
Copy !req
425. Come to the newsroom at 7:00 tonight.
Copy !req
426. Oh, thanks. I owe you one.
Copy !req
427. I owe you more than one.
Copy !req
428. Let's go.
Copy !req
429. Um, I don't know if it was clear
from my e-mails and phone calls,
Copy !req
430. but I've been wooing you.
Copy !req
431. Still trying to get that second first date.
Copy !req
432. And yet I can tell from
the way you're staring at me
Copy !req
433. right now that this
isn't the best moment.
Copy !req
434. You see that?
I was able to tell without your saying anything.
Copy !req
435. Our minds are in sync.
Copy !req
436. But there's not
an ounce of quit in me,
Copy !req
437. - so I'll woo you when—
- What the hell are you doing?
Copy !req
438. All right, then.
7:00, it's a date.
Copy !req
439. Not really. I'm not crazy.
Copy !req
440. Thank you.
Copy !req
441. Yeah?
Copy !req
442. You wanted to see me?
Copy !req
443. It's 100 degrees outside.
You're wearing a jacket?
Copy !req
444. Because it's Ice Station
Zebra in my office.
Copy !req
445. - If you have any fresh fish you need to store—
- Those are yours.
Copy !req
446. They were delivered
for you this morning.
Copy !req
447. Jim signed for them
and looked at the card,
Copy !req
448. which you can see
isn't in an envelope.
Copy !req
449. Jim signed for them?
Copy !req
450. He said Maggie didn't see.
She wasn't around.
Copy !req
451. Maggie and I have broken up a lot
in the last year and a half.
Copy !req
452. I've—
Copy !req
453. I've gotten that sense.
Copy !req
454. - When we break up—
- You go out with other women.
Copy !req
455. Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?
Copy !req
456. - I'm not judging you.
- Then we get back together.
Copy !req
457. Do you tell the other women
Copy !req
458. that you've gotten back together
with your girlfriend?
Copy !req
459. We're talking about people that
I've been on one or two dates with.
Copy !req
460. Does Maggie know that you've been
out with other women?
Copy !req
461. No.
Copy !req
462. Does Gina know
that you're with Maggie?
Copy !req
463. - Jenna.
- Hmm?
Copy !req
464. Jenna. These are from—
Her name is Jenna.
Copy !req
465. You remember when
I didn't care at all
Copy !req
466. about the lives of the people
who worked here?
Copy !req
467. - Yeah.
- Those were the days.
Copy !req
468. - Time to go.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
469. Uh, I can't walk through
the newsroom with these.
Copy !req
470. - I'll take care of it.
- Thanks.
Copy !req
471. - Hey, Don.
- Yeah?
Copy !req
472. I'm doing the right thing, right?
Copy !req
473. To do a little wrong to do a big right.
Copy !req
474. Get the debate.
Copy !req
475. - Was that Shakespeare?
- Almost.
Copy !req
476. - Okay.
- And I'm doing the right thing?
Copy !req
477. No. You're either lying to Maggie
or you're lying to Gina.
Copy !req
478. Jenna. And I just backed you up
with almost Shakespeare.
Copy !req
479. You couldn't throw me a bone?
Copy !req
480. I've got to go.
Copy !req
481. - That was a cliché.
- I know.
Copy !req
482. But if you stand in the rain without a jacket,
you're gonna get a cold.
Copy !req
483. And if you have
a physically abusive father
Copy !req
484. who abandons you
and your family,
Copy !req
485. you're gonna be 1,000 times
more sensitive to betrayal
Copy !req
486. than the average person who's already
extremely sensitive to betrayal.
Copy !req
487. I miss encyclopedias.
Copy !req
488. I always wanted to have
a full set of encyclopedias.
Copy !req
489. You know, you pull down S
off the shelf,
Copy !req
490. flip to a page,
you read about, I don't know,
Copy !req
491. Salic law and why a woman can't inherit
the French throne.
Copy !req
492. - You can Google it.
- That's my point.
Copy !req
493. You have to know
what you're looking for.
Copy !req
494. You can't browse
for anything anymore.
Copy !req
495. Anyway, last night I was looking up
signal intelligence intercepts
Copy !req
496. and whether they leave
a fiber-optic footprint.
Copy !req
497. Is it important that
I know what that meant?
Copy !req
498. No. We've got a whistle-blower who's giving us
a big story and we have to vet him.
Copy !req
499. But what happened was
I was reading about fiber-optic footprints
Copy !req
500. and a couple of clicks later, I was on
Copy !req
501. a relationship advice website
called "Help Me Rhonda."
Copy !req
502. A woman wrote to Rhonda saying that
her husband was cheating on her
Copy !req
503. and Rhonda suggested that
the woman had to examine
Copy !req
504. what her role was in the cheating.
It made me crazy.
Copy !req
505. Do you think it could possibly
have been the woman's fault?
Copy !req
506. Are we saying that now?
Copy !req
507. What I don't believe
is that a couple clicks
Copy !req
508. took you from fiber-optic
footprints to "Help Me Rhonda."
Copy !req
509. If you went to a relationship
advice website, just say so.
Copy !req
510. It was the middle of the night.
There was nothing else to read.
Copy !req
511. Except the entire rest
of the Internet.
Copy !req
512. Do you and Rhonda honestly believe
that I share some of the blame
Copy !req
513. or even a small part of the blame
for Mackenzie cheating with Brian?
Copy !req
514. - Do you?
- No.
Copy !req
515. Fine.
Copy !req
516. 'Cause that's about
the dumbest thing I've ever read.
Copy !req
517. And I'll tell you what else,
I don't even think Rhonda's her real name.
Copy !req
518. - Yeah, look—
- Maybe it is.
Copy !req
519. I don't know. But she's a moron.
Copy !req
520. You weren't part of the equation.
Copy !req
521. Ruined a perfectly good Beach Boys song.
Copy !req
522. Wait, what do you mean?
Copy !req
523. I can't really assess
someone I haven't met.
Copy !req
524. Then why did you say it?
Copy !req
525. Because I can assess
someone I haven't met.
Copy !req
526. My father left me volumes
on the two of you.
Copy !req
527. I had to get an extra filing cabinet.
Copy !req
528. How was I not part of the equation?
Copy !req
529. Mackenzie got dumped by Brian.
She got rejected.
Copy !req
530. People react to that in different ways.
Copy !req
531. When Brian started calling her again,
Copy !req
532. she saw the chance to get
unrejected and she took it.
Copy !req
533. You weren't even part of the equation.
Copy !req
534. But once she got unrejected,
she realized
Copy !req
535. that she wasn't in love
with Brian in the first place,
Copy !req
536. that she was in love with you,
and she confessed the whole thing.
Copy !req
537. - Not right away.
- Who cares about not right away?
Copy !req
538. When she thought you were
going to propose to her—
Copy !req
539. Do you remember when I came
in here yesterday without an appointment
Copy !req
540. and interrupted your session
with another patient?
Copy !req
541. I do remember that.
It was yesterday.
Copy !req
542. And you said that the trick was
to forgive Mackenzie.
Copy !req
543. - Yeah.
- I actually know that.
Copy !req
544. Intellectually, in my brain,
I know Mackenzie deserves to be forgiven.
Copy !req
545. I understood everything you said.
Copy !req
546. I understand she's taken every
punishment I've given her,
Copy !req
547. including having Brian hang around
the office and write his story.
Copy !req
548. I understand she's completely
devoted to the show.
Copy !req
549. I understand mistakes.
I understand time has passed.
Copy !req
550. I understand all of that.
So why can't I forgive her?
Copy !req
551. Because you weren't rejected.
Copy !req
552. You were betrayed.
Copy !req
553. How's it going, Sampat?
Copy !req
554. Well, the problem with people
who post on EconomyBrain
Copy !req
555. is they're not easily distracted.
Copy !req
556. Damn those economists
and their adult attention spans.
Copy !req
557. They're not making it easy for me.
Copy !req
558. But a popular discussion at the moment
Copy !req
559. is a recent article projecting
US credit rating fallout
Copy !req
560. as a result of the debt ceiling standoff.
Copy !req
561. Yes, I heard that on the news.
No, wait, I didn't.
Copy !req
562. I heard about Casey Anthony instead.
Copy !req
563. Well, that's where I jumped in.
Copy !req
564. I said if I can balance my checkbook,
Copy !req
565. why can't the government
balance its budget?
Copy !req
566. Mary, Mother of God,
am I sick of that insane analogy.
Copy !req
567. Balancing your checkbook
is to balancing the budget
Copy !req
568. as driving to the supermarket
is to landing on the moon!
Copy !req
569. See?
Copy !req
570. Ah.
Copy !req
571. - I got you a little upset.
- Yes.
Copy !req
572. So once they were hooked on
telling me how stupid I am,
Copy !req
573. - I steered things in your direction.
- How?
Copy !req
574. - You really want to know?
- No.
Copy !req
575. - Good.
- Tell me anyway.
Copy !req
576. I said the media and government
are in a conspiracy cahoots—
Copy !req
577. - Conspiracy cahoots?
- I have to sound authentically moronic.
Copy !req
578. How are the media and the government
in a conspiracy cahoots?
Copy !req
579. By shoving your breasts in our face.
Copy !req
580. - Many angry posters came to your defense.
- Good.
Copy !req
581. - So I created a second user account.
- Of course.
Copy !req
582. And asserted it wasn't your breasts
that were so compelling,
Copy !req
583. - it was your blatantly slutty body movements.
- What evidence do you use—
Copy !req
584. I posted a link on your Wikipedia page
detailing your rise
Copy !req
585. from small-town stripper to big-time
financial news reporter.
Copy !req
586. - My Wikipedia page doesn't say that.
- Check again.
Copy !req
587. You're going to see an emotional response
Copy !req
588. on my face and a physical
response directed at yours.
Copy !req
589. It worked.
Copy !req
590. After two hours,
I had economic PhDs posting in all caps.
Copy !req
591. And then the site administrator
froze the thread.
Copy !req
592. All right.
And this is enough to get you accepted
Copy !req
593. - into the fraternity of the pitiful?
- Almost.
Copy !req
594. There's a sort of pledge process
for the fraternity of the pitiful.
Copy !req
595. And this will get me to level one.
Copy !req
596. Once I do that, I can get to level two
and swim with the professional trolls.
Copy !req
597. You're gonna be a good reporter.
Copy !req
598. And I like that someone
is working on news stories.
Copy !req
599. Well, for what it's worth,
Copy !req
600. I could really get behind a government
Copy !req
601. that was in a cahoots conspiracy
to shove your breasts in our face.
Copy !req
602. Aw.
Copy !req
603. Re-edit my Wikipedia page!
Copy !req
604. Soon.
Copy !req
605. He's on his way.
Copy !req
606. All right, what do you know so far?
Copy !req
607. - You got Lisa for tonight.
- They've already started promoing it.
Copy !req
608. What do you have on the NSA source?
Copy !req
609. He's not rock solid.
Copy !req
610. Shit.
Copy !req
611. He didn't do well on
his latest psych assessment.
Copy !req
612. - Oh, Christ.
- They lowered his security clearance.
Copy !req
613. He also violated a restraining order.
Copy !req
614. - An ex-wife?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
615. And he was arrested for solicitation in 1979.
Copy !req
616. - If you had this guy on a witness stand—
- I wouldn't put him on a witness stand.
Copy !req
617. Wait a minute.
He didn't score well on his psych exam,
Copy !req
618. but they didn't fire him.
They just lowered his security clearance.
Copy !req
619. Yes, he's stalking his ex-wife and, yes,
he tried to pick up a hooker,
Copy !req
620. but that doesn't mean
he's lying about the NSA.
Copy !req
621. All we have are the transcripts
of his testimony
Copy !req
622. and his testimony
doesn't mean anything to me yet.
Copy !req
623. Keep working.
Copy !req
624. - Excuse me.
- Which one of us?
Copy !req
625. Both.
Copy !req
626. - I'm gonna speak in code.
- Why?
Copy !req
627. Because neither of you
can suggest to a guest
Copy !req
628. what they should say on the air.
Copy !req
629. - Okay. I understand.
- You do?
Copy !req
630. We've got Lisa.
We've promo'd her.
Copy !req
631. - She's done her job.
- She still has to show up.
Copy !req
632. But you don't care what she says
once she does.
Copy !req
633. I don't.
Copy !req
634. So do me a favor.
This is for me.
Copy !req
635. Get some statistics on the number
of missing children cases this year?
Copy !req
636. Yes, please.
And leave them for me
Copy !req
637. in the hair and makeup room.
Copy !req
638. - You understood that?
- Yeah, I cracked your code.
Copy !req
639. - Hey.
- Hi.
Copy !req
640. Jim, tell her she needs
a little blush to accentuate
Copy !req
641. those gorgeous cheekbones.
She refuses to listen.
Copy !req
642. I'm not auditioning for Dancing With the Stars.
My cheekbones are fine.
Copy !req
643. She's fine.
Copy !req
644. Could you give us the room a second?
Copy !req
645. We're in a Vulcan mind meld again.
Copy !req
646. I can tell this is a bad time to ask—
Copy !req
647. Maggie's my best friend.
She's actually my only friend, I think.
Copy !req
648. And I'd chop off my ears
before I'd hurt her.
Copy !req
649. You're basing this all
on the premise that—
Copy !req
650. Don's a good guy
who's not in love with her.
Copy !req
651. She knows it.
Copy !req
652. You're on deck, pal.
Copy !req
653. I've been on deck for a year.
I'm nobody's second choice.
Copy !req
654. Neither am I.
Copy !req
655. - Well, I— I wasn't implying—
- Hey.
Copy !req
656. - How are you doing?
- Fine.
Copy !req
657. Listen, why don't you
take a look at this?
Copy !req
658. You can take that out there
with you if you want.
Copy !req
659. Keep it right on the desk.
Copy !req
660. Will and Mackenzie won't mind?
Copy !req
661. I'll see you after.
Copy !req
662. - I was gonna say—
- I want to learn this.
Copy !req
663. Please.
Yeah.
Copy !req
664. Thank you.
Copy !req
665. You don't have to say
anything you don't mean.
Copy !req
666. Okay.
Copy !req
667. I'm joined now
by Lisa Lambert,
Copy !req
668. a friend of Casey Anthony's
from high school.
Copy !req
669. - Good evening, Lisa.
- Good evening.
Copy !req
670. - Did you know Casey well?
- I didn't.
Copy !req
671. And neither did any of the other people
showing up on TV claiming they did.
Copy !req
672. - But you took classes with her?
- Wow.
Copy !req
673. - Yes.
- Did she ever lose her temper?
Copy !req
674. Yeah, and when she did,
we all said,
Copy !req
675. "Oh, my God,
she's gonna kill her baby one day."
Copy !req
676. Fair enough. Let me ask you—
Copy !req
677. There were 80 million children
reported missing last year.
Copy !req
678. Actually,
I think you mean 800,000.
Copy !req
679. Yes.
Copy !req
680. 80 million would be way too many.
Copy !req
681. And I understand.
But this one involves a murder.
Copy !req
682. Olivia Garcia was one year old
Copy !req
683. when she mysteriously died
at her babysitter's house.
Copy !req
684. But Olivia Garcia had brown skin,
so we're not that interested.
Copy !req
685. Same with Triumph Skinner,
a seven-month-old
Copy !req
686. African-American who was rushed
to the hospital with a crushed skull.
Copy !req
687. For some reason he's not keeping
Nancy Grace up at night.
Copy !req
688. Where are you getting these facts?
Copy !req
689. Google.
Copy !req
690. Jariel Alexander died
Copy !req
691. after being knocked unconscious
by his mother's boyfriend,
Copy !req
692. then scalded with boiling water
Copy !req
693. after soiling his pants at dinner.
Copy !req
694. But Jariel's mother isn't pretty,
so what do we care?
Copy !req
695. I think you're making a very good point.
Copy !req
696. - Then I'd like to make one more.
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
697. What if Casey Anthony
had wanted an abortion?
Copy !req
698. - She didn't want an abortion!
- Don't.
Copy !req
699. - She told you that?
- No, I haven't spoken to her in years.
Copy !req
700. - I'm just asking.
- Is this you?
Copy !req
701. - No.
- Do the people who care so deeply
Copy !req
702. about the life of a microscopic
piece of biology
Copy !req
703. with no ability to experience physical
or emotional suffering
Copy !req
704. care at all about a two-year-old
who was born to a mother
Copy !req
705. who didn't want the child
and was unable to care for her?
Copy !req
706. Help her out of this.
Copy !req
707. Lisa, I just want to be
clear for the viewers
Copy !req
708. that you're not saying
Casey's only two options
Copy !req
709. were abortion
or murdering a toddler.
Copy !req
710. I'm saying that
there's an undiscussed
Copy !req
711. and unappreciated cruelty
Copy !req
712. in forcing a child
to be born to a mother
Copy !req
713. who doesn't want the child
Copy !req
714. and isn't capable
of raising the child.
Copy !req
715. Okay, let's get back to what
Casey was like in high school.
Copy !req
716. Where's a power outage
when you really need one?
Copy !req
717. What's wrong?
Copy !req
718. - You all right?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
719. - How'd they know where you were?
- Her Facebook page.
Copy !req
720. - Shut the page down.
- I'll take care of it.
Copy !req
721. Hey.
Copy !req
722. - Is she all right?
- Where's Lonny?
Copy !req
723. You shouldn't be out alone.
Copy !req
724. - You all right?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
725. Are you mad I didn't tell you
I was gonna do that?
Copy !req
726. No.
Copy !req
727. I know you're pro-life.
Copy !req
728. I'm not pro throwing
a brick through a window.
Copy !req
729. There are gonna be local
news trucks here any second.
Copy !req
730. - Get her out of here.
- You, too.
Copy !req
731. Is that your boss?
The owner of the shop?
Copy !req
732. I'm gonna talk to her.
Copy !req
733. This should have been me
and not you.
Copy !req
734. Come on.
Let's go.
Copy !req
735. Teddy, is there something
different about these pants?
Copy !req
736. Different from what?
Copy !req
737. Every time I wear that suit,
I mean every time,
Copy !req
738. I put both my legs
into one side of the pants.
Copy !req
739. One side of the pants?
Copy !req
740. I stand up, I put one leg into one side,
Copy !req
741. and then I take my other leg
and I'm certainly aiming
Copy !req
742. for the other side of the pants,
but I get stuck.
Copy !req
743. And I'm asking
if there's something,
Copy !req
744. not so much wrong,
but different about those pants.
Copy !req
745. You can't put your pants on
and you think
Copy !req
746. there's something wrong
with the pants?
Copy !req
747. All right, get out.
Copy !req
748. - Adam Roth is here.
- Yes.
Copy !req
749. - Adam!
- Rock star.
Copy !req
750. - How you doing, man?
- I'm good.
Copy !req
751. - How's Emily?
- The whole family's great.
Copy !req
752. David got into Stanford,
so thanks for the recommendation.
Copy !req
753. I wrote him a pretty bad recommendation.
I'm surprised they took him.
Copy !req
754. They must not care that much
about what you think.
Copy !req
755. This is my partner at the RNC,
Copy !req
756. - Tate Brady.
- Nice to meet you.
Copy !req
757. - How do you do?
- Excellent.
Copy !req
758. Charlie Skinner, Mackenzie McHale,
this is Adam Roth.
Copy !req
759. Will talks about you like you were
bunkmates at summer camp.
Copy !req
760. Well, we were,
but the summer camp was the White House
Copy !req
761. and there was no bunk
or sleep of any kind.
Copy !req
762. I was Bush 41's body man
right out of college
Copy !req
763. and Will was writing greeting cards
or something in the communications office.
Copy !req
764. I wrote serious policy speeches.
Copy !req
765. For the Muncie Chamber of Commerce.
Copy !req
766. They were good speeches.
Copy !req
767. And the president adopted Will
Copy !req
768. as the fourth son he never had.
Copy !req
769. The president knew my name
and that's thanks to Adam.
Copy !req
770. I'm sorry.
This is his partner Greg Brady.
Copy !req
771. - Tate.
- I'm sorry, Tate.
Copy !req
772. Everybody sit down.
Anybody need coffee or anything?
Copy !req
773. - I'm okay.
- I'm good.
Copy !req
774. So we're glad to see your numbers
rebounded from last week.
Copy !req
775. We hadn't been covering Casey Anthony
and half our audience went to HLN.
Copy !req
776. But we started covering it
and things stabilized.
Copy !req
777. Well, good, because we were about
ready to offer a debate to Nancy Grace.
Copy !req
778. So the rules of the debate
are pretty simple.
Copy !req
779. There is some room for you to make
a few choices, but not much.
Copy !req
780. Everybody gets an opening statement.
Copy !req
781. Everybody gets at least two questions
with 60 seconds to answer
Copy !req
782. and it's up to you whether you want to
offer someone a rebuttal.
Copy !req
783. We had something different in mind.
Copy !req
784. What'd you have in mind?
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785. Adam, how many hours
did you and I spend
Copy !req
786. talking about how flawed
the debates were?
Copy !req
787. Especially the primary debates?
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788. A lot of hours.
Copy !req
789. Well, now you and I are in a position
to do something about that.
Copy !req
790. Follow me.
Copy !req
791. The questions have to be tougher.
Copy !req
792. They have to be able to square
their campaign rhetoric with facts.
Copy !req
793. They have to be stopped when
they're not answering the question.
Copy !req
794. And they have to be called out
when their answers contradict the facts.
Copy !req
795. Guys, get in place.
Copy !req
796. Our job is to find the two candidates
Copy !req
797. who'll give the voters
the best competing arguments,
Copy !req
798. and I don't believe we're seeing that.
Copy !req
799. We have to put the candidates
on a witness stand.
Copy !req
800. - Would you have them swear an oath?
- Just let 'em do it.
Copy !req
801. If baseball players testifying about steroids
Copy !req
802. in front of a House Subcommittee
are subject to perjury,
Copy !req
803. I don't know why presidential
candidates aren't.
Copy !req
804. But I'm not reaching for the stars,
I'm reaching just an inch higher.
Copy !req
805. Welcome to Princeton University
in Princeton, New Jersey,
Copy !req
806. for the fifth debate in the
2012 Republican primary race,
Copy !req
807. cosponsored by Atlantis Cable News
and the Republican Party of New Jersey.
Copy !req
808. At which point we'll explain the rules,
which is there are no rules.
Copy !req
809. I question a candidate until I'm done.
Copy !req
810. They can each make
an opening statement.
Copy !req
811. Beginning with you,
Congresswoman Bachmann.
Copy !req
812. Hi, my name is Michele Bachmann.
Copy !req
813. I'm a former federal tax
litigation attorney,
Copy !req
814. the owner of a successful company,
and also a member—
Copy !req
815. Hang on. Is that supposed to be a
Michele Bachmann impersonation?
Copy !req
816. No, nobody's doing impressions.
This isn't an SNL sketch.
Copy !req
817. These people have spent two months
studying stump speeches,
Copy !req
818. interviews, on-the-record statements,
previous debate performances
Copy !req
819. in order to come as close
as possible to answering
Copy !req
820. our questions the way
the candidates would.
Copy !req
821. After the opening statements,
we'd move to questioning.
Copy !req
822. Senator Santorum,
you said that your campaign
Copy !req
823. is about freedom
and that 20 years from now
Copy !req
824. you don't want to be
telling your grandchildren
Copy !req
825. how America once was free.
Copy !req
826. Name three freedoms
you had the day before
Copy !req
827. President Obama was sworn in
that you don't have now.
Copy !req
828. Obamacare, to begin with.
Copy !req
829. Obamacare is the most egregious—
Copy !req
830. Have you had to
change doctors?
Copy !req
831. - May I finish?
- No, sir.
Copy !req
832. - Have you had to change doctors?
- No.
Copy !req
833. Has anyone in your family
had to change doctors?
Copy !req
834. Has there been any change at all
in health care for you or your family?
Copy !req
835. I'm talking about
Obamacare now.
Copy !req
836. My question was name
three freedoms that you had
Copy !req
837. the day before the president was sworn in
that you don't have now.
Copy !req
838. Mr. Speaker, you just said
that if you're elected,
Copy !req
839. the price of gas will be $2.50 a gallon.
Copy !req
840. How does the US President
control the price of oil?
Copy !req
841. Governor, you've said that as president
you will never apologize for America.
Copy !req
842. This question is in two parts.
Copy !req
843. Name an instance
in which the president
Copy !req
844. has apologized for America
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845. and can you imagine no instance
Copy !req
846. in which a US president
should apologize for America?
Copy !req
847. Mr. McAvoy, I find it reprehensible
Copy !req
848. that the liberal media would try to pit
Republicans against one another.
Copy !req
849. And I, for one,
won't stand by while it happens.
Copy !req
850. This is the Republican primary,
Mr. Speaker,
Copy !req
851. and you're running for the nomination.
Copy !req
852. It wasn't my idea to pit you against anyone.
It was yours.
Copy !req
853. Congressman Paul,
I'd like to discuss the newsletters
Copy !req
854. you wrote and sold
starting in the 1990s.
Copy !req
855. I've already said
everything I have to say.
Copy !req
856. I never wrote those letters
and I never even read them.
Copy !req
857. They had your name on them.
They had your signature on them.
Copy !req
858. You made money from them.
And in 1996 you defended them
Copy !req
859. to the Dallas Morning News.
Copy !req
860. - I don't like pretending—
- Stop. Everybody stop.
Copy !req
861. There's no need to go
along any further.
Copy !req
862. I see where you're going.
Copy !req
863. - Adam.
- Listen—
Copy !req
864. Is there someplace we can talk privately?
Copy !req
865. Take my office.
Copy !req
866. Adam.
Copy !req
867. I think they really liked it.
Copy !req
868. You did a good job, everybody.
Give me a minute.
Copy !req
869. - I told you, this guy—
- This guy what?
Copy !req
870. Wasn't on the team.
Copy !req
871. - He's on the team, okay?
- Hang on.
Copy !req
872. The team I'm on is the voters'
Copy !req
873. and smart, qualified people
disagreeing about issues.
Copy !req
874. Your plan was to embarrass
the candidates.
Copy !req
875. I want candidates who can
answer those questions.
Copy !req
876. And if they know they're going to be
held responsible for the nonsense
Copy !req
877. they're shouting on the stump,
they'll be forced to stop shouting nonsense.
Copy !req
878. - This guy has lost his mind.
- He hasn't.
Copy !req
879. Adam, this is exactly what
we always talked about.
Copy !req
880. This is what we dreamed of.
Copy !req
881. We said we need
real campaign reform
Copy !req
882. and a way of letting Americans hear
the two best competing arguments.
Copy !req
883. Nobody could stand up
to that kind of questioning.
Copy !req
884. - You think that was brutal questioning?
- It really wasn't.
Copy !req
885. And you honestly believe the candidates
would submit themselves to this?
Copy !req
886. - They should welcome it.
- I don't believe what I'm hearing.
Copy !req
887. Any candidate who can handle a cross
Copy !req
888. is gonna find himself at the top of the polls
in the morning.
Copy !req
889. And we should welcome
it 'cause it'll clear out the clown car
Copy !req
890. and give us a serious discussion
among serious candidates.
Copy !req
891. The only person who would
welcome it is him.
Copy !req
892. This is about him.
He wants to look tough
Copy !req
893. by making the candidates
look like idiots.
Copy !req
894. No, he doesn't. I have known this man
for 25 years and I vouch—
Copy !req
895. I don't care what you vouch for.
Copy !req
896. I am not allowing the goddamn press
to make fools out of our candidates.
Copy !req
897. I'll remember that the next time you bitch
about how the press never vetted Obama.
Copy !req
898. We're not agreeing to this format.
Copy !req
899. You are going to abide
by the rules that we give you
Copy !req
900. and I don't want Mackenzie McHale
producing it for you.
Copy !req
901. What are you talking about?
Copy !req
902. I want the old Will McAvoy.
Copy !req
903. Not the thing she turned you into.
Copy !req
904. I know all about that lady.
Copy !req
905. - Get out.
- Will, come on. You need the debate.
Copy !req
906. Of course he can use Mackenzie.
Copy !req
907. These guys have been compromising
and compromising all week
Copy !req
908. so we could host a debate that made
some sense and did some good.
Copy !req
909. Well, I'm sorry to hear that,
because it was all for nothing.
Copy !req
910. - We need ACN.
- No, we don't.
Copy !req
911. They've got the independents.
Copy !req
912. He's not the only anchor at ACN.
Copy !req
913. - Don Keefer.
- Yeah?
Copy !req
914. How would you and Elliot Hirsch like
to have one of the debates?
Copy !req
915. Eat me.
Copy !req
916. - Mr. Skinner, I'm trying to be as—
- When Don says, "Eat me,"
Copy !req
917. that's usually the end of the conversation.
Copy !req
918. Sloan Sabbith.
Copy !req
919. - You want to be a star?
- Me?
Copy !req
920. - Yeah.
- Fuck you.
Copy !req
921. I hate these guys.
Copy !req
922. I don't know why you don't.
Copy !req
923. And I'll be in the car.
Copy !req
924. I'm really sorry.
Copy !req
925. I can't be out of work.
Copy !req
926. - Tuition at Stanford is—
- No, I know.
Copy !req
927. It was good seeing you.
Copy !req
928. You, too.
Copy !req
929. All those things
we talked about...
Copy !req
930. Yeah.
Copy !req
931. Don't let 'em push you around.
Copy !req
932. You take it easy.
Copy !req
933. I'm sorry, everyone.
Copy !req
934. We lost the debate.
Copy !req
935. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
936. We've got about an hour to air.
Let's put it together.
Copy !req
937. He'll cave.
He'll agree to the debate on their terms.
Copy !req
938. - No, he won't.
- You romanticize Will.
Copy !req
939. - Mm-hmm.
- That mock debate was about him.
Copy !req
940. He was the star.
He attacked his—
Copy !req
941. He didn't attack anybody.
Copy !req
942. He asked questions that the candidates
should be able to answer
Copy !req
943. and that the voters should
be able to hear them answer.
Copy !req
944. He didn't cower
and he wasn't Ed McMahon.
Copy !req
945. Thinking there was
even a remote chance—
Copy !req
946. - Maybe it was naive.
- It wasn't naive, it was hubris.
Copy !req
947. It was gutsy
and you're just jealous.
Copy !req
948. Jealous of what?
You know, fuck you, Mac.
Copy !req
949. I've spent this week
letting you kick my ass
Copy !req
950. from here to the Chrysler Building
because you were selling out
Copy !req
951. every 15 minutes to get your hands on
something you didn't get.
Copy !req
952. And you were embarrassed
by it in front of me.
Copy !req
953. He doesn't want you.
Copy !req
954. Please don't talk
about my personal life.
Copy !req
955. I'm sort of a key player in it.
Copy !req
956. Is it all right if I talk
about my personal life?
Copy !req
957. Yes, I broke up with you.
I'm the first guy ever
Copy !req
958. to break up with a woman.
And then I came back.
Copy !req
959. Also unprecedented.
Did he come back?
Copy !req
960. I don't know yet.
Copy !req
961. Seriously?
After four years?
Copy !req
962. In Castaway, Helen Hunt got remarried
in less time than—
Copy !req
963. I never would have gone
with the Casey Anthony story.
Copy !req
964. I don't care how much
of my audience I was losing.
Copy !req
965. And he's gonna cave
on the debate, too.
Copy !req
966. - Are you sure about that?
- I am absolutely sure about that.
Copy !req
967. You know what I like about Will?
Copy !req
968. He's not absolutely sure about anything.
Copy !req
969. He struggles with things.
Copy !req
970. He's never certain he's right
and sometimes he's not.
Copy !req
971. But he tries hard to be.
Copy !req
972. He struggles with things.
Copy !req
973. God!
Copy !req
974. Will, are you all right?
Copy !req
975. Could somebody help Will
put his pants on?
Copy !req
976. I don't think this is gonna work out.
Copy !req
977. - The story?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
978. That's Will's call.
Copy !req
979. Excuse me.
Copy !req
980. How's it going there?
Copy !req
981. There's something off
with these pants.
Copy !req
982. I think maybe considering everything
that's gone on here
Copy !req
983. this week, you should reconsider
having Brian write the piece.
Copy !req
984. - Can you handle him being here?
- I can handle him being here.
Copy !req
985. - But I think—
- I brought him in here to punish you.
Copy !req
986. - I know.
- I think I may have also brought him in here
Copy !req
987. - so you could see a side-by-side comparison.
- You're an idiot.
Copy !req
988. - Hey, these are really hard pants.
- Not the pants.
Copy !req
989. I have cooperated with
and been the engine behind
Copy !req
990. an instant dismantling of everything
we've built and everything we stand for.
Copy !req
991. I've ignored serious stories
so we can get down in the gutter
Copy !req
992. with the Casey Anthony circus
and the Anthony Weiner distraction.
Copy !req
993. And I've done it all
while Brian's been standing
Copy !req
994. over my shoulder
because you put him there.
Copy !req
995. And you pass on the debate
because that guy insulted me?
Copy !req
996. Who are you?
Copy !req
997. I don't know where your head is at
at any given moment!
Copy !req
998. I am this close to losing it!
I think I have!
Copy !req
999. I think it's happening right now!
Copy !req
1000. - Settle down.
- I will not settle down!
Copy !req
1001. I should, though. I should settle down.
Copy !req
1002. Remember your first day here,
the BP spill?
Copy !req
1003. Yeah.
Copy !req
1004. Remember when I said
throw out the rundown?
Copy !req
1005. - Yeah.
- Did you think that was cool?
Copy !req
1006. Yeah.
Copy !req
1007. Throw out the rundown.
Copy !req
1008. Wait, no.
Copy !req
1009. We still need the numbers.
We've got to protect you from Leona.
Copy !req
1010. Yeah, I can't live with a 15-year-old girl
being the toughest guy at my desk.
Copy !req
1011. - Are you talking about Lisa?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1012. - She's 26.
- They all look 15 to me. Sloan.
Copy !req
1013. - Are you sure about this?
- Not at all.
Copy !req
1014. - Yeah?
- If I ask you the right questions,
Copy !req
1015. can you talk about the debt ceiling
for two segments tonight?
Copy !req
1016. - I don't even need the questions.
- Get ready.
Copy !req
1017. Can you handle Brian being here
a little while longer?
Copy !req
1018. I can handle anything.
Copy !req
1019. - Jellyfish.
- I don't like jellyfish.
Copy !req
1020. - Brian.
- Yeah?
Copy !req
1021. Just write the truth, okay?
Just write the truth.
Copy !req
1022. We're throwing out the rundown
and leading with the debt ceiling.
Copy !req
1023. - You get all that?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1024. Is it working?
Copy !req
1025. No.
They're laughing at me.
Copy !req
1026. They think
I'm a small-time troll.
Copy !req
1027. - That's got to hurt.
- It does.
Copy !req
1028. It's too bad you're not the guy
who left the death threat for Will.
Copy !req
1029. That's a dangerous area.
Copy !req
1030. Yeah.
Copy !req
1031. Jim?
Copy !req
1032. Yeah?
Copy !req
1033. Whatever happened with you and Lisa?
Copy !req
1034. Uh, she doesn't want to go out with me.
Copy !req
1035. I gave it a try.
Copy !req
1036. A try?
Copy !req
1037. Yeah.
Copy !req
1038. "Gather ye rosebuds."
You know what that means?
Copy !req
1039. It's the first half of the first line
of a poem by Robert Herrick.
Copy !req
1040. What's the second half?
Copy !req
1041. "While ye may."
Copy !req
1042. "Gather ye rosebuds while ye may."
Copy !req
1043. I'm gonna.
Copy !req
1044. "Then be not coy but use your time,
and while ye may go marry.
Copy !req
1045. For having lost but once your prime,
you may forever tarry."
Copy !req
1046. - I won't.
- Okay.
Copy !req
1047. - First we have to do the show.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1048. You're 100% sure?
Copy !req
1049. It was a year ago.
It was over a year ago.
Copy !req
1050. He was the new guy in the office
Copy !req
1051. and Don and I were in a terrible place.
Copy !req
1052. So I had a stupid crush on him
for five minutes.
Copy !req
1053. He was nice to me
even though I was mean to him,
Copy !req
1054. so I thought maybe
he liked me, too.
Copy !req
1055. But that's just over,
Copy !req
1056. and he's really trying hard with you.
Copy !req
1057. - So if you like him...
- Of course I like him.
Copy !req
1058. There's no way to fix
the air conditioning.
Copy !req
1059. Your choices are
90 degrees or 30 degrees.
Copy !req
1060. Who's here at midnight?
Copy !req
1061. - Hello?
- Hey, it's Jim.
Copy !req
1062. Come on up.
Copy !req
1063. We never got to the God question.
Copy !req
1064. Bachmann said that God told her to run
and Maggie wanted Will to ask her
Copy !req
1065. what God's voice sounded like.
I think it would have sealed it for us.
Copy !req
1066. If every network said,
"We're not playing by your rules.
Copy !req
1067. You're playing by ours,"
we'd raise the level of debate overnight.
Copy !req
1068. It wasn't as crazy as it sounded.
Copy !req
1069. It was exactly as crazy as it sounded.
Copy !req
1070. Good luck.
Copy !req
1071. - Hi.
- Hi.
Copy !req
1072. - I wanted to talk to—
- Hey, man.
Copy !req
1073. Hey, Don.
Copy !req
1074. - I did— I didn't know that you'd—
- Maggie talked me into it.
Copy !req
1075. I'm sorry?
Copy !req
1076. You don't have to pitch me.
Copy !req
1077. Maggie talked me into it.
Copy !req
1078. - Let's go for a walk.
- Listen—
Copy !req
1079. Let's go.
Copy !req
1080. Nice ending, don't you think?
Copy !req
1081. He had a whole speech
he didn't get to use.
Copy !req
1082. Don?
Copy !req
1083. Hmm?
Copy !req
1084. What is it?
Copy !req
1085. He said,
"I wanted to talk to—"
Copy !req
1086. and then I cut him off.
Copy !req
1087. What are you—
Copy !req
1088. Lisa wasn't the one
he came here to see.
Copy !req
1089. I don't—
Copy !req
1090. He signed for the flowers.
Copy !req
1091. What?
Copy !req
1092. I have to explain something.
Copy !req
1093. Congresswoman Bachmann, to you.
Copy !req
1094. Elvis or Johnny Cash?
Copy !req
1095. Oh, that's really tough.
Copy !req
1096. That's really— Both.
Both.
Copy !req
1097. - Both?
- Yeah, I've got "Christmas With Elvis" on my iPod.
Copy !req
1098. All right, now we know what's
on the congresswoman's iPod.
Copy !req
1099. This is Lonny.
Copy !req
1100. - Lonny, it's Neal.
- Yeah?
Copy !req
1101. I'm sorry to call you so late,
but I need to tell you
Copy !req
1102. about something that's
on my computer right now.
Copy !req
1103. I've been working on this story,
and without going into too many details...
Copy !req