1. I know maybe a dozen reporters,
guys you know, too,
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2. who tell me they've been
pitching you this story
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3. for almost a year with no luck.
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4. Yeah, I'm not crazy about
being interviewed in print.
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5. Print journalists play it fast and loose
with exclamation points.
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6. I love the news
becomes I love the news!
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7. Suddenly I'm deranged.
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8. - So why now?
- Huh?
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9. Why are you agreeing
to this piece now?
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10. - You don't happen to have a cigarette?
- No.
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11. - Why now?
- Ah, right here.
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12. Why do you want this now?
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13. I want some sort of document about
what we've been trying to do here.
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14. Like the king
at the end of Camelot
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15. telling the boy to run behind the lines
from village to village
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16. telling people about,
you know...
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17. - Camelot.
- Yeah.
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18. I'm asking why
you reached out to me.
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19. Because, your recent complications
notwithstanding,
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20. you cover the media better
than anyone out there.
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21. You haven't lost your touch for complimenting
and insulting someone at the same time.
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22. Thank you.
I appreciate it.
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23. But it wasn't meant as an insult,
Brian.
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24. Your life's been in
news magazines,
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25. - and news magazines aren't...
- I know.
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26. As many pages long
as they used to be.
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27. What kind of access
are we talking about?
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28. Here's what I'll offer.
You spend a few days here,
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29. talk to whoever you want,
but it's all off the record.
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30. - Not even background.
- What good does that do me?
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31. If I like how it feels,
then we go ahead.
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32. But I still get to tell you
what can retroactively
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33. go on the record from
the tryout period.
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34. - You're asking me to audition?
- Yeah.
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35. Why would I do that?
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36. I can think of some reasons.
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37. Four years ago, you were on
the masthead at Newsweek,
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38. turning out ten
cover stories a year
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39. and spending Sunday
mornings on TV.
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40. Today you have a blog.
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41. Your fucking disdain
for the Internet—
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42. and rolled the money into a start-up,
thinking you'd be the next Huffington Post.
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43. How'd it work out?
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44. We filed for bankruptcy.
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45. The Sunday Times Magazine,
Vanity Fair,
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46. GQ, The New Republic,
The Atlantic—
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47. Everybody's offered the cover
and I get to pick the writer.
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48. I'm going with New York Magazine and you.
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49. So, you okay with the audition?
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50. Are you prepared to talk
about your Republicanism?
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51. You say that
like I've got polio.
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52. Are you prepared to talk
about having polio?
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53. I grew up in a town outside of town
outside Lincoln, Nebraska.
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54. My hometown was a road.
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55. I was a college freshman
before I met a Democrat.
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56. What about our history?
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57. Brian, your problem with me
back in the day
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58. was that I was a moderate,
sane Republican
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59. who refused to take a position on anything
for fear I would lose viewers.
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60. Just as moderate,
sane Republicans on the Hill
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61. refuse to take a position for fear
they'll lose primary voters.
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62. I had a nightly rundown that went
out of its way to avoid reporting the news.
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63. And then Mackenzie McHale
came along
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64. and I'm attacking my own party
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65. for not standing up
to its attackers.
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66. Isn't that what you wanted me to do
back when you were calling me a coward?
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67. Yeah, but that's not
the history I'm talking about
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68. and you already knew that,
so please stop fucking around with me.
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69. One parenthetical sentence
in the second graph.
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70. "Full disclosure.
I've been a friend of Mackenzie McHale's
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71. - since the late '90s."
- And you?
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72. An email went to 178,000 people
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73. and was reported on
our own morning show.
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74. That's all you know
and that's all you'll report.
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75. That's fine with me.
But that's the last time
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76. you'll tell me what
I will or won't report.
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77. - I'm not your stenographer.
- Do we have a deal?
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78. Yeah, now why do you need
someone to run from village to village?
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79. Is something about
to happen to Camelot?
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80. Maybe.
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81. First, you have to learn
what our whole philosophy is.
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82. Hang out, we'll talk later.
I have to go to a meeting with Reese Lansing.
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83. What's it about?
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84. Suspending our whole philosophy.
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85. Good to see you again, Brian.
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86. He should be here any minute.
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87. Sorry I'm late.
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88. All right, I'm not gonna tell you
what to put on the air.
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89. You're not allowed to tell us
what to put on the air.
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90. So I'm just gonna tell you the facts.
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91. You got mugged last week.
You got bludgeoned.
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92. - It's Casey Anthony.
- Hang on, wait. She may just be right.
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93. - We knew we'd take a small hit.
- There's nothing small.
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94. Let me just give you the facts and then
invite you to draw your own conclusion.
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95. Nancy Grace averages 283,000
viewers on HLN.
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96. Her time period
competitor News Night
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97. averages 960,000.
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98. One week ago, HLN begins coverage
of the Casey Anthony trial
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99. and Nancy's audience increases
to 1.5 million viewers
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100. while News Night's audience
drops to 460,000,
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101. sending you from second to fifth place
in the course of five days.
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102. A feat I previously thought
was only accomplishable
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103. by the New York Mets.
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104. Whose idea was it to not cover
the Casey Anthony trial?
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105. It was mine.
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106. I think the three of you
should have a vaudeville act.
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107. I'm not kidding.
I'm gonna send you on a fucking tour.
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108. It was hers.
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109. Mackenzie, I've never seen
a more vivid picture of why viewers left,
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110. where they went to, and why.
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111. You said why twice.
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112. You chose not to work for PBS.
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113. You chose not to work for NPR.
You have a ratings obligation.
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114. No, you have
a ratings obligation.
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115. You're in business
with the advertisers.
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116. I'm in business
with the viewers.
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117. You just lost their business.
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118. That's all.
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119. Do what you want
with the information.
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120. I'll not be taken down by this
psychotic cocktail waitress.
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121. That's right, we just keep playing our game,
wait it out and just...
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122. How long can the trial go on?
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123. I've seen the witness list.
It'll run around six weeks
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124. plus summations plus deliberation.
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125. - We'll never make it.
- That's right, so—
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126. Wait, when you said
we wouldn't be taken down
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127. by this psychotic
cocktail waitress,
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128. did you mean we weren't
gonna cave or that we were?
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129. - You're gonna cover Casey Anthony.
- Bullshit we are.
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130. We have the three-day weekend
to gear up for it.
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131. - Charlie.
- Starting Tuesday, you'll lead with her in the A block.
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132. Give it 15 minutes and a five-minute reset
on the half hour.
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133. Seriously, I can't tell
if you're joking or—
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134. - Did you just hear those numbers?
- Yes.
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135. Half our audience
changed the channel in one week.
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136. - I understand.
- Do you?
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137. - Do I understand math?
- Do you understand that it's unprecedented?
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138. I'm not gonna argue with you
when Will can do it for me.
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139. He's never gonna go for this.
Tell him.
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140. Have marketing promo the living shit
out of Casey Anthony.
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141. Oh, my God.
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142. Rename the show Casey Anthony Night
with Casey Anthony.
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143. - Will, hang on.
- Right here on the Casey Anthony Network.
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144. - Mac.
- 'Cause any second I'm going to wake up
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145. and be back in a room with Don Quixote
and the mission to civilize.
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146. - Listen to me.
- No. How many drinks were thrown in your face
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147. because you didn't think
people should be watching
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148. The Real Morons of South Beach
or whatever the hell it's called?
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149. - It's not the same thing.
- It's exactly the same thing.
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150. It's just worse.
A child is dead.
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151. A very troubled young mother
either did or didn't murder her.
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152. Her parents are waiting to find out
if their daughter's going to get the needle.
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153. So thank God for TiVo,
otherwise we wouldn't be able to sit down—
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154. - It's news.
- Yeah, say that three times and click your heels.
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155. It's entertainment.
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156. And it's just—
Just this side of a snuff film.
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157. - Sit down, Mac.
- No, I don't want to sit.
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158. - Do it anyway, please.
- 15 at the top, that's a quarter of the show.
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159. - Mac.
- And five at the bottom for a reset?
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160. Please sit!
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161. - Think I like it?
- I know you don't.
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162. It makes me sick.
There isn't enough bourbon in Kentucky.
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163. Okay?
We're in the same place on this.
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164. So let's be in the same place on this.
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165. We've had ratings dips before.
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166. First of all, not like this.
Nothing like this.
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167. Second, I want the debate.
The three of us have talked about a new debate format
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168. for months and we're not going to be able
to do it if they don't give us a debate.
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169. - I just really—
- They're not gonna give us a debate
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170. if we're in fifth place.
I want the debate.
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171. I want to fundamentally
change the way
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172. we interview presidential
candidates for their job.
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173. If that means we have
to be Jerry Springer
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174. for a few weeks,
I'm willing to pay that price.
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175. When the going gets tough,
the two of you really man up.
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176. Then go with your principles,
Mac, but know
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177. a ratings hit like this
is all Leona needs
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178. to fire Will without
having to explain why.
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179. - All right.
- You'll do it as classy as you can.
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180. I'll have Will wear
a top hat and monocle
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181. while he's showing pictures
of the wet T-shirt contest.
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182. I'm sorry about
the outburst in there.
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183. Yeah, I'm not sure it was
all about Casey Anthony.
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184. - How did it go?
- He's doing it.
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185. Then he has to disclose
that we were—
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186. I told him one parenthetical
in the second graph.
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187. That's it.
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188. He needs to be seen
as a heavyweight again, Mac.
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189. He's not gonna write a tell-all.
You're fine.
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190. Murrow did Person to Person.
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191. Celebrity interviews.
It was a deal with Paley.
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192. One for them, one for him.
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193. He interviewed Liberace, Mac,
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194. just so he could keep
going after McCarthy.
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195. Those were puff pieces.
This is poison.
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196. If we're gonna do this,
let's not pretend we're not doing this.
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197. - Jim Harper.
- Hey.
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198. - Brian Brenner.
- I know.
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199. I wasn't sure if you remembered.
It's been a few years.
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200. Sure.
It's good to see you.
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201. Are you looking at
BigGoverment.com?
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202. - Yeah.
- Don't make me write
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203. that you're using Andrew Breitbart
to research this show.
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204. No, we're gonna be doing a mock debate
at the end of next week.
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205. - A mock debate?
- The RNC is looking at Will to possibly host a debate,
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206. and Will and Mac have an idea
for a new debate format.
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207. We want to show them,
so we're each playing a candidate
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208. and we're gonna do a mock debate
on Michele Bachmann, so...
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209. - Andrew Breitbart.
- Yeah.
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210. Tell me about this new
debate format you guys want.
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211. You know, I'm not really sure what
I'm allowed to talk to you about yet.
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212. Do you mind if we wait until
I get some instructions?
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213. - Sure.
- Thanks.
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214. Hey.
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215. - Hey.
- I heard you were here.
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216. You're not getting out
of town for the weekend?
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217. - Nope. How about you?
- Yeah.
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218. I'm going to a think tank conference
outside Baltimore.
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219. The Institute For Capital
Studies and Economic Growth.
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220. - It's gonna be a raver.
- I think it's called a rager.
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221. - Are you sure?
- No.
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222. It's either a rave
or a rager or a raver.
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223. Don't think the Institute For Capital Studies
and Economic Growth's gonna be any of them.
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224. So I stopped in
to give you a heads up.
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225. I might need a couple extra minutes
Tuesday night.
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226. I don't think I can give it to you.
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227. The House is going to vote up or down
on increasing the debt ceiling.
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228. - It's a cosmetic vote, but—
- If it's a cosmetic vote, why—
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229. It's news because first of all,
it'll be the first time
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230. in history the House lets
the US default on its debt.
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231. But moreover,
it'll be the first shot
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232. in the beginning
of a very reckless,
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233. extremely dangerous partisan fight
that could end in catastrophe.
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234. - Let me explain.
- I can't give you the time.
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235. - If Congress doesn't raise—
- I can't give you the extra time.
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236. Starting Tuesday,
I have to cover Casey Anthony.
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237. - I really liked that we weren't doing that.
- I really liked it, too.
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238. By putting the debt ceiling vote in the A block,
we'd be sending—
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239. I can't, Sloan.
We lost half our audience last week.
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240. That's not hyperbole.
That's an actual number.
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241. - Half our audience went to HLN at 8:00.
- Half?
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242. If we don't bring them home this week,
we'll have lost most of them for good
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243. and we could lose the debate.
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244. Kenzie, I'm not just trying
to get more airtime.
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245. This is an incredibly important—
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246. I had 42 and a half minutes
to work with.
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247. I now have 22 and a half.
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248. Do you know how you're gonna
budget the 22 and a half?
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249. Do you know what
Tuesday's news is?
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250. We want the debate.
That's the prize.
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251. Those guys are studying on a Friday night
of a three-day weekend.
Copy !req
252. - Okay, next question.
- Congresswoman Bachmann,
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253. you're a proponent of reforming
Social Security and Medicare.
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254. Can you give us some details
of the reforms you have in mind?
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255. I'd start by reducing benefits for
all but current recipients
Copy !req
256. as part of an effort to
reduce the federal deficit.
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257. I'd like to add that President Obama
has already transferred
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258. over $500 billion out of Medicare
and into Obamacare,
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259. which I will repeal
on my first day in office.
Copy !req
260. Ms. Bachmann, are you aware
that presidents can't repeal laws?
Copy !req
261. I, Jim, am aware of that,
but...
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262. Where are you
getting the quote?
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263. BigGovernment.com.
It's right here.
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264. - Hmm.
- What?
Copy !req
265. Anthony Weiner's
Twitter account got hacked.
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266. - Can I suggest a way to turn lemons into lemonade?
- Sure.
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267. First you squeeze the juice from the lemons.
Then add sugar and water.
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268. And you're not really into this joke,
so I'm just going to say what I really wanted to say.
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269. The Casey Anthony story
actually gives us a chance to show
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270. how important the
debt ceiling story is if we lead
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271. with the debt ceiling
instead of Casey Anthony.
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272. When do you have
to go to your raver?
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273. - I've got plenty of time.
- Tea, can I have another?
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274. - Yeah.
- Hey, how about Brian Brenner?
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275. I've been reading him for years
and didn't know what he looked like.
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276. - He's cute.
- Yeah.
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277. - Is he single?
- He is.
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278. - Are you interested?
- Nope.
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279. That's contempt prior
to investigation.
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280. No, it's contempt after
thorough investigation.
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281. - You dated him?
- I did.
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282. - When?
- About six years ago.
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283. That's— Wait.
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284. - That's—
- Yeah.
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285. Six years ago, you were with
the guy you were with before Will.
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286. Yeah.
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287. - But that would—
- Oh, my God, Sloan.
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288. It's like the land
where time stands still.
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289. Brian Brenner is the guy
I cheated on Will with.
Copy !req
290. I'd been with Will for a year
and Brian started calling me again.
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291. - Wow.
- Yeah.
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292. - Why would he do the piece?
- Brian?
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293. - Yeah.
- He needs a cover story.
Copy !req
294. And why would Will
have Brian do the piece?
Copy !req
295. That's a perfectly fair question
to which I have no answer.
Copy !req
296. This is really messed up.
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297. Look, I'll do my best to find you
the time you need for the story.
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298. We just need to hope there's
no new piece of nonsense
Copy !req
299. I have to jam into my 22 minutes
of Short Attention Span Theater.
Copy !req
300. Anthony Weiner accidently tweeted
Copy !req
301. a picture of his groin
to 40,000 followers.
Copy !req
302. And I don't consider it
that big a federal offense,
Copy !req
303. but people want to pay attention
to it and I guess I get it.
Copy !req
304. When you're named Weiner,
it kind of goes with the territory.
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305. Have you ever taken a picture
like this of yourself?
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306. I can tell you this,
that there are—
Copy !req
307. I have photographs.
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308. I don't know what photographs
are out there in the world of me.
Copy !req
309. I don't know what things have
been manipulated and doctored.
Copy !req
310. And we're gonna try
to find out what happened.
Copy !req
311. But the most important reason I want to
find out what happened is to make sure...
Copy !req
312. Weiner, McAvoy. Call me.
You're getting terrible advice.
Copy !req
313. Well, the choices are to
do something or to do nothing.
Copy !req
314. If we do nothing, then the audience
turns to the nearest guy doing something.
Copy !req
315. What exactly
would our report be?
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316. That he's not answering
questions very well?
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317. - I don't know. Give me three minutes.
- To report what?
Copy !req
318. I don't know. But if I do nothing,
it's gonna look like I'm protecting a liberal.
Copy !req
319. Since when did we start caring about
what it looks like instead of what it is?
Copy !req
320. Reports on the Tea Party won't
have credibility if we're not balanced.
Copy !req
321. Will, you're the one
who said that balance
Copy !req
322. for its own sake doesn't
have any place in reporting.
Copy !req
323. One from column A and one
from column B is bullshit.
Copy !req
324. And boorish behavior isn't the same as
taking the US Treasury hostage.
Copy !req
325. And when the RNC boys come here on Friday,
they won't see it the same way.
Copy !req
326. And you'll explain to them we
don't care that he's sexting.
Copy !req
327. - We care how he votes.
- And they'll understand, give us the debate,
Copy !req
328. let us use the format we want,
and we'll all go out for chocolate milk shakes.
Copy !req
329. Three minutes in the B block,
please, after Casey Anthony.
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330. Okay.
Copy !req
331. I know it seems like
a story that only affects
Copy !req
332. 300,000 people in Queens,
but since there's sex involved,
Copy !req
333. we can't deny
its national importance.
Copy !req
334. Especially since we don't know
all or even any of the facts.
Copy !req
335. Three minutes.
I assume you want the pictures.
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336. Good meeting.
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337. I'm pretty familiar
with that tone of voice.
Copy !req
338. - I guess you are, too?
- I am.
Copy !req
339. No one's been hitting the Tea Party
as hard as you've been.
Copy !req
340. - Certainly no Republican.
- That's not true.
Copy !req
341. David Frum, Mark McKinnon,
Alan Simpson,
Copy !req
342. Steve Schmidt, Andrew Sullivan.
Copy !req
343. Okay, but none of them
work for Leona Lansing.
Copy !req
344. I don't know.
I think everybody works for Leona Lansing.
Copy !req
345. She can't be happy that you're beating up
people AWM needs on the Hill.
Copy !req
346. I'm really not an expert on what
does or doesn't make Leona happy.
Copy !req
347. Has she ever asked you
to tone it down?
Copy !req
348. I'm not doing your
reporting for you, Brian.
Copy !req
349. I'm doing my reporting myself.
I'm asking you a question.
Copy !req
350. I'm not commenting on or off the record
about either Leona or Reese Lansing.
Copy !req
351. - Does she want you fired?
- If she wanted me fired, I'd be fired.
Copy !req
352. All she has to do
is buy my contract,
Copy !req
353. which she can do with the money
under her sofa cushion.
Copy !req
354. But then she'd have to explain
why she was firing
Copy !req
355. the second most watched
anchor on cable
Copy !req
356. and she can't do that.
Copy !req
357. Is it a coincidence that
the tabloid stories about you
Copy !req
358. started right after
the election?
Copy !req
359. I don't know.
Copy !req
360. Do you think she's using
her own tabloid magazine
Copy !req
361. to manufacture
a reason to fire you?
Copy !req
362. That would be
a smart way to do it.
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363. And, of course,
if you lost half your audience
Copy !req
364. because your show was too highbrow
to cover Casey Anthony,
Copy !req
365. she wouldn't even need to
work that hard to do it.
Copy !req
366. Firing an anchor for losing half his audience
isn't unreasonable,
Copy !req
367. if that's what you're asking.
Copy !req
368. It wasn't and you know it.
Copy !req
369. You're trying to get me to write this story
without your fingerprints on it.
Copy !req
370. AWM has to do business with Congress
and you're making it much harder.
Copy !req
371. Leona wants you fired,
but can't do it unless she can explain it.
Copy !req
372. She's hoping the tabloid stories
build to a critical mass
Copy !req
373. or that your ratings tank.
Copy !req
374. Say something if I'm wrong,
say nothing if I'm right.
Copy !req
375. For what it's worth,
I'd cave, too.
Copy !req
376. No serious journalist would ever agree
to the demands I made on Friday.
Copy !req
377. So for what it's worth,
you already did.
Copy !req
378. Are you ready to answer questions
about the newsletter?
Copy !req
379. - I haven't read it.
- The mock debate's Friday.
Copy !req
380. No, I'm being Ron Paul right now.
I didn't write it.
Copy !req
381. I've never read it.
I've never heard it.
Copy !req
382. It's got my name on it,
I've made money from it.
Copy !req
383. The newsletters would
get a standing ovation at a Klan rally,
Copy !req
384. but you should stop asking me
questions about them.
Copy !req
385. - You need a better answer.
- He needs a better answer.
Copy !req
386. Tell you what question
I'd start off with.
Copy !req
387. - Congresswoman Bachmann.
- Yes?
Copy !req
388. You've said that you were told
to run for president by God.
Copy !req
389. - Please, I don't—
- You have, right?
Copy !req
390. You've said on a number of occasions
that God told you to run for president.
Copy !req
391. I have some clips here if you'd
like me to refresh your memory.
Copy !req
392. - Nope, my memory is fresh.
- Here's my question.
Copy !req
393. - Good.
- What does God's voice sound like?
Copy !req
394. I'm completely serious.
Copy !req
395. She's saying that
God spoke directly to her.
Copy !req
396. How is this not the first question
asked in a debate?
Copy !req
397. How's it not the only question?
Copy !req
398. What does His voice sound like?
Copy !req
399. What did He say
exactly word for word?
Copy !req
400. Did He speak in Hebrew?
Acadian? Kiswahili-Bantu?
Copy !req
401. And to put it in a medical context,
is this the first time you've heard voices?
Copy !req
402. She's claiming to be a prophet.
Copy !req
403. The whole world is sitting
on the edge of their seat.
Copy !req
404. How is this not the first
question we'll ask?
Copy !req
405. First of all, can you stop pointing at me
and saying she and her?
Copy !req
406. You're the one
who wanted to play a woman.
Copy !req
407. But tell me why that
question is out of line.
Copy !req
408. Because it's not the best way
to demonstrate seriousness of intent
Copy !req
409. and it's not the best way
not to insult people.
Copy !req
410. - Which people?
- Christians. 83% of the country.
Copy !req
411. I'm one of them.
And she's insulting me.
Copy !req
412. Please, stop pointing at me
when you are—
Copy !req
413. Relax, J. Edgar.
She's insulting me,
Copy !req
414. she's insulting my family,
she's insulting my congregation,
Copy !req
415. and she's insulting my faith.
Copy !req
416. She's implying that
Christians are imbeciles
Copy !req
417. who will believe anything
while reducing God
Copy !req
418. to a party hack who endorses
political candidates.
Copy !req
419. Now, maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe this is the first time since Moses
Copy !req
420. that God has given direct instructions
to someone other than His son.
Copy !req
421. But if so, I think
it deserves a follow-up.
Copy !req
422. We're not going to get the debate
if we're mocking their candidates.
Copy !req
423. The whole point
of the new debate format
Copy !req
424. is to compel the candidates
to tell the truth
Copy !req
425. and make them responsible
for their own rhetoric
Copy !req
426. If she knows what God wants,
then I'm voting for her.
Copy !req
427. If she doesn't,
she should stop saying so.
Copy !req
428. I'm not attacking Christians.
I'm defending them.
Copy !req
429. - All right.
- Just a moment, please.
Copy !req
430. - What?
- I'm standing up for the tens of millions of Christians
Copy !req
431. who are tired of being represented
by having our identity—
Copy !req
432. There's been an identity theft.
Copy !req
433. That's it.
That's the one I want.
Copy !req
434. I think you already know
that starting tonight,
Copy !req
435. we're leading with Casey Anthony.
Copy !req
436. Does anyone have
a problem with that?
Copy !req
437. All right, well,
we lost almost half a million viewers
Copy !req
438. to Nancy Grace last week.
Copy !req
439. Does anyone still have
a problem with it?
Copy !req
440. We're gonna clear out some of
these stories to make room.
Copy !req
441. "Senate obstruction
become worst in US history."
Copy !req
442. That's a report
by the Alliance For Justice.
Copy !req
443. The Senate's confirmed a smaller percentage
of Obama's judicial appointees
Copy !req
444. than any other Senate
and any other president.
Copy !req
445. No reason to care about that.
Copy !req
446. "Job situation dire,
new stimulus needed."
Copy !req
447. This Congress ran on jobs,
but they're focused on debt.
Copy !req
448. According to the payroll
company ADP—
Copy !req
449. I just solved unemployment.
Copy !req
450. "AFL-CIO sours on Obama."
Copy !req
451. We've got an analyst
lined up to give a report card
Copy !req
452. on Obama's union relationship.
Copy !req
453. Will the AFL-CIO still be
sour on him tomorrow?
Copy !req
454. - I don't know.
- Let's find out.
Copy !req
455. All right, to give us
a crash course in how best
Copy !req
456. to exploit this tragedy
and to erase all boundaries
Copy !req
457. of what should be used
as entertainment,
Copy !req
458. I've enlisted the help
of a master of the dark arts.
Copy !req
459. I understand I'm needed.
Copy !req
460. - Thank you.
- Forget everything you know about the news.
Copy !req
461. Done.
What's next?
Copy !req
462. I'm Charlie Skinner.
Copy !req
463. Good to meet you.
Copy !req
464. Should I just sit here?
Copy !req
465. Sure.
Copy !req
466. Should I call you Mr. Hancock?
Copy !req
467. It's Schneider.
Copy !req
468. - Schneider?
- Ezra Schneider.
Copy !req
469. How the hell many aliases
do you have?
Copy !req
470. I beg your pardon?
Copy !req
471. Are you Late For Dinner?
Copy !req
472. Mister, I have no idea
what you're talking about.
Copy !req
473. Charlie.
Copy !req
474. That has to have been
strange for you.
Copy !req
475. Late For Dinner?
Copy !req
476. - Solomon Hancock.
- Charlie Skinner.
Copy !req
477. I thought because of
the carnation—
Copy !req
478. Did we say anything
about a carnation?
Copy !req
479. No, but it's usually
the international sign for—
Copy !req
480. It doesn't matter.
Copy !req
481. I'm a busy guy and if
you're faffin' me around...
Copy !req
482. Would you mind taking
the battery out of your cell phone?
Copy !req
483. The walls in the New York Public Library
are three feet thick.
Copy !req
484. That's why we're meeting here.
But I'd like you
Copy !req
485. to take the battery
out of your cell phone.
Copy !req
486. You have reason to believe
you're under surveillance?
Copy !req
487. Everyone's under surveillance.
If you've got a cell phone—
Copy !req
488. It's talk like that
that makes me—
Copy !req
489. Did I or did I not
establish credibility on May 1st?
Copy !req
490. You correctly predicted that
we'd all be called to work, yes.
Copy !req
491. Sometimes at the NSA,
we download a rolling bug
Copy !req
492. onto smartphones
to slave the microphone.
Copy !req
493. You ever get
an unwanted text message?
Copy !req
494. All the time,
but they're from my boss.
Copy !req
495. Here.
Copy !req
496. I'll never be able
to put that back together.
Copy !req
497. They're coming out with a better model
in six months.
Copy !req
498. That's unusual
for the tech industry.
Copy !req
499. Can you tell me
a little about yourself?
Copy !req
500. I started out chasing around
a Soviet Pacific Fleet
Copy !req
501. doing signal intelligence cryptology
for the Navy.
Copy !req
502. But when the Berlin Wall came down,
my war was over.
Copy !req
503. So I went into the private sector
like everybody else in the '90s,
Copy !req
504. only not for a dot-com,
Copy !req
505. doing data compression
for fiber optics.
Copy !req
506. Then 9/11 happened
and I decided
Copy !req
507. it was a good time to get back
into public service hunting bad guys.
Copy !req
508. You're an IT guy.
Copy !req
509. My title is Assistant Deputy Director
Copy !req
510. of Technology and Systems,
Cryptology, and Mathematics at NSA.
Copy !req
511. I'm gonna have to—
Copy !req
512. I product test software.
Copy !req
513. - NSA software?
- Yes, sir.
Copy !req
514. Can you tell me
about the software?
Copy !req
515. It's data mining.
Copy !req
516. One of the ways the NSA
was tracking bin Laden,
Copy !req
517. or any terrorist for that matter,
Copy !req
518. was to write code
that would sift through
Copy !req
519. millions of electronic
communications
Copy !req
520. looking for a needle
in a giant haystack.
Copy !req
521. You know the machine
that Batman uses in The Dark Knight
Copy !req
522. to find the Joker,
but when Morgan Freeman finds out about it,
Copy !req
523. he says, "I'm quitting because
no man should have this much power"?
Copy !req
524. - No.
- No what?
Copy !req
525. - I do not know that machine.
- Well, it exists.
Copy !req
526. We gave the contract to
two defense contracting big boys
Copy !req
527. and it was my job mostly to
make sure that they delivered
Copy !req
528. and that it worked.
Copy !req
529. The project title
is GLOBAL CLARITY
Copy !req
530. and it intercepts
1.7 billion phone calls,
Copy !req
531. emails, and texts every day.
Copy !req
532. - Legally?
- By what standard?
Copy !req
533. - The law.
- No.
Copy !req
534. It involves a significant
amount of illegal,
Copy !req
535. warrantless wiretapping
of American citizens.
Copy !req
536. Just to be—
When you say warrantless,
Copy !req
537. are you saying unnecessary?
Copy !req
538. Without a warrant.
Warrantless.
Copy !req
539. We could hunt
for terrorists legally,
Copy !req
540. but due to our bosses'
devotion to GLOBAL CLARITY,
Copy !req
541. the NSA has been happily
violating the Fourth Amendment,
Copy !req
542. USSID 18,
Copy !req
543. and about a dozen of the NSA's
own regulations about spying on Americans.
Copy !req
544. You've got guys
listening in on ex-wives,
Copy !req
545. dropping in on calls
from soldiers overseas,
Copy !req
546. checking out what
movie stars are up to.
Copy !req
547. Am I the first person
you've talked to about this?
Copy !req
548. No, stop confusing me
with Donald Sutherland in JFK.
Copy !req
549. Well, a second ago,
you were Morgan Freeman.
Copy !req
550. I have testified
in front of Congress
Copy !req
551. and to the Pentagon Inspector General.
I got nowhere.
Copy !req
552. Nobody on the Hill
wants to admit it's fucked up
Copy !req
553. because nobody wants to
be seen as post-9/11 soft.
Copy !req
554. Where does AWM come in?
Copy !req
555. Atlantis World Media
owns Atlantis Cable News.
Copy !req
556. - Yeah.
- It also owns the tabloid TMI.
Copy !req
557. - Yeah.
- The shit that's happening
Copy !req
558. at Murdoch's News of the World in London,
Copy !req
559. TMI has been doing
the same thing for years.
Copy !req
560. - How high does it go?
- I don't know.
Copy !req
561. Does it go as high as Leona Lansing?
Copy !req
562. - No.
- Good.
Copy !req
563. It goes as high as her son.
Copy !req
564. TMI is doing phone
and computer hacking
Copy !req
565. and Reese Lansing knows?
Copy !req
566. Reese has been ordering it.
Copy !req
567. - I'm gonna give you—
- Hang on.
Copy !req
568. I need to digest that.
Copy !req
569. Reese Lansing is James Murdoch,
Copy !req
570. but Lansing's been ordering it.
Copy !req
571. Digested yet?
Copy !req
572. These classified?
Copy !req
573. Yeah, because I'm dying
to violate the Espionage Act.
Copy !req
574. These are just transcripts
of my testimony
Copy !req
575. before the House subcommittee
and the Pentagon.
Copy !req
576. Vet me, vet the material.
Take all the time you need.
Copy !req
577. Why are you whistle-blowing?
Copy !req
578. I fought the Soviets.
Copy !req
579. The way their government
made their people live their lives
Copy !req
580. was a very good reason
to fight them.
Copy !req
581. After 9/11,
Copy !req
582. we started doing
the exact same thing.
Copy !req
583. I didn't spend my life
fighting Communists
Copy !req
584. to have it come to this.
Copy !req
585. Report on GLOBAL CLARITY.
Copy !req
586. And once I see that report,
I'll give you what you need
Copy !req
587. to protect yourself
from Leona Lansing.
Copy !req
588. How do you know we need
protecting from Leona Lansing?
Copy !req
589. Have you been listening?
'Cause we have.
Copy !req
590. This woman is the best I've ever seen.
Copy !req
591. Center screen is Nancy.
Copy !req
592. These three corners are
live feeds of the guest experts.
Copy !req
593. - What are they experts in?
- Agreeing with everything Nancy says.
Copy !req
594. - But what keeps your atten—
- Excuse me.
Copy !req
595. This is Brian Brenner,
everyone.
Copy !req
596. It's possible he's going to be
writing a feature on 2.0.
Copy !req
597. But we're in a
tryout period right now.
Copy !req
598. Everything's off the record.
Copy !req
599. Go ahead.
What keeps our attention?
Copy !req
600. Is the bottom right corner
where they're playing
Copy !req
601. a loop of little Caylee
from a home video.
Copy !req
602. Hell.
Do you think it's as bad as everyone says it is?
Copy !req
603. That was a tribute to Caylee.
Copy !req
604. But how will they
explain the duct tape
Copy !req
605. around the child's
mouth and nose?
Copy !req
606. And how will they explain
Copy !req
607. all the lies that Tot Mom told?
Copy !req
608. Now they're not talking
about the tattoo
Copy !req
609. on Casey's back,
but they put it full screen. Why?
Copy !req
610. Because Tess was just about
to look somewhere else,
Copy !req
611. so they changed the frame to anything
that might keep her attention.
Copy !req
612. He's right.
I was gonna Google Mac's hell question.
Copy !req
613. Plus tattoo equals bad mom.
Copy !req
614. No one's ever gone broke
in America serving up
Copy !req
615. a woman who makes other
women feel superior.
Copy !req
616. The series of lies
Copy !req
617. that finally came
crashing down around her.
Copy !req
618. If she would lie about that,
Copy !req
619. why should I believe
an accident is true?
Copy !req
620. Don't spend time thinking
about her airtight syllogism.
Copy !req
621. Her EP's showing duct tape
and a plastic bag,
Copy !req
622. so you know you're watching
the real CSI Miami.
Copy !req
623. How to make weapons
Copy !req
624. out of home materials
found in the home.
Copy !req
625. About breaking necks.
Copy !req
626. How can they explain that?
Copy !req
627. They can't explain it, Nancy.
Copy !req
628. The defense is doing what
the defense has to do.
Copy !req
629. Now, Bill Sheaffer
has done his job.
Copy !req
630. He agreed with Nancy.
We don't need to see his face anymore.
Copy !req
631. Look how cute Caylee is.
Copy !req
632. She deserved better
than a mom with a tattoo.
Copy !req
633. She deserved...
Copy !req
634. - She deserved...
- Me.
Copy !req
635. - Me.
- Me.
Copy !req
636. Tess, how's that
Google search coming?
Copy !req
637. It does look pretty bad.
A lot of fire.
Copy !req
638. You'll notice little of her coverage
in this instance is about the law.
Copy !req
639. You know, come to think of it,
I did notice that.
Copy !req
640. It's all based on
an emotional appeal.
Copy !req
641. The way she would with a jury
if there was no judge there to stop her.
Copy !req
642. Watch how she breaks down
courtroom footage.
Copy !req
643. Liz, let's see
the video of Tot Mom
Copy !req
644. and Jose Baez back at it
in court again today.
Copy !req
645. Not a good look between
a death penalty defendant
Copy !req
646. and the lead defense attorney.
Copy !req
647. Two seconds.
Copy !req
648. Two seconds of Casey Anthony
walking past her lawyer—
Copy !req
649. And she'll show it
to you in slow motion
Copy !req
650. and from a different angle
Copy !req
651. and at regular speed and from
the original angle again.
Copy !req
652. - What does that remind you of?
- Instant replay in sports.
Copy !req
653. And she looks pretty
pissed at her lawyer.
Copy !req
654. And that's exactly why she's showing it
to you so many times.
Copy !req
655. So you have a chance to draw your own
thoroughly uninformed opinion
Copy !req
656. about an utterly
innocuous exchange.
Copy !req
657. She looks pissed.
Copy !req
658. I wonder if she's sleeping with her lawyer.
I bet she is.
Copy !req
659. I wonder if that's what she looked like
when she killed Caylee.
Copy !req
660. This is the best TV ever.
I've got to go on my Casey Anthony Facebook page
Copy !req
661. and see if my Casey Anthony
Facebook friends just saw Casey Anthony
Copy !req
662. make a Casey Anthony face
at her Casey Anthony lawyer.
Copy !req
663. All right, enough.
Will's a criminal prosecutor.
Copy !req
664. Maybe he can talk about how our justice system
wasn't built to lock up guilty people.
Copy !req
665. It was built to keep
innocent people free,
Copy !req
666. which is something Americans should
be proud of and fiercely protect.
Copy !req
667. No.
Copy !req
668. He can't ever imply that the viewer
Copy !req
669. doesn't already know everything
and that she might be innocent.
Copy !req
670. If we're gonna cover this,
we're gonna cover it our way.
Copy !req
671. What's the point of covering it at all
unless we do it
Copy !req
672. in a way that gets
our audience back?
Copy !req
673. A modest proposal.
We could ourselves
Copy !req
674. commit murder on our air.
Copy !req
675. In your face, Nancy Grace!
Copy !req
676. How do we get the best guests?
Copy !req
677. There's a guy you're gonna have to
deal with named Dylan Kagin.
Copy !req
678. He's like the Broadway Danny
Rose of tabloid suffering.
Copy !req
679. He's an agent?
Copy !req
680. You ever ask yourself
why of all the missing kids
Copy !req
681. and murdered coeds,
most of them go unnoticed
Copy !req
682. - and some become national scandals?
- Sex appeal.
Copy !req
683. Right, but someone's got to find Lana Turner
sitting at the drugstore counter.
Copy !req
684. Dylan Kagin gropes through the trailer park
of American jurisprudence
Copy !req
685. for what he calls
"Oh, my God" stories.
Copy !req
686. Then he drops in on the victims,
the accused, the jurors, the cops,
Copy !req
687. whoever he can sell to the press,
the networks, and the studios.
Copy !req
688. He packages
the missing white girl.
Copy !req
689. All right, that'll be the A block.
Copy !req
690. By 2:00, show me where we are.
Copy !req
691. The B block's gonna
be Anthony Weiner,
Copy !req
692. so, Jim, start putting
something together.
Copy !req
693. All we really have are the pictures
and Weiner not answering questions.
Copy !req
694. - I know that.
- You don't want to wait until we have—
Copy !req
695. Facts?
No, that would be newsy and elitist.
Copy !req
696. Let's just call them—
The A and the B block—
Copy !req
697. Let's just think
of them as a polished,
Copy !req
698. tightly produced abomination.
Copy !req
699. I've been sitting here
and I'm getting a little sick of this.
Copy !req
700. - You and me both.
- Jesus Christ.
Copy !req
701. For a few weeks, we're not gonna
ask the country to eat its vegetables.
Copy !req
702. Why? Because there's
a debate we want to do
Copy !req
703. that trumps all of your Sarah Lawrence
ethical conundrums.
Copy !req
704. It shouldn't be
too hard to understand.
Copy !req
705. So get it the fuck together.
Copy !req
706. He happens to be right.
Copy !req
707. "War on drugs a failure."
Copy !req
708. I know how it feels.
Copy !req
709. Show me where
we are at 2:00.
Copy !req
710. - Can I see you a second?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
711. - Do you mind if I sit in on—
- Yeah, sorry, no.
Copy !req
712. Not sure that's the best way
to get good press.
Copy !req
713. May 1st, the night we got bin Laden,
I got a call
Copy !req
714. from an anonymous source at 7:30
Copy !req
715. telling me the White House
would send an email blast
Copy !req
716. to all the news agencies
in 90 minutes,
Copy !req
717. and obviously it turned out
he was right.
Copy !req
718. He was demonstrating his credibility.
Copy !req
719. His name is Solomon Hancock.
Copy !req
720. He works in software engineering
at the NSA
Copy !req
721. and he handed me
a stack of documents,
Copy !req
722. transcripts of his testimony
describing illegal surveillance.
Copy !req
723. We have to start vetting him
and the documents.
Copy !req
724. It's gonna take at least a few days,
but that's part one.
Copy !req
725. What's part two?
Copy !req
726. If we air his story,
he'll give us evidence
Copy !req
727. that TMI's been doing the same thing
as News of the World.
Copy !req
728. - Hacking?
- Everything.
Copy !req
729. - TMI's been hacking?
- Hancock says he's got the proof.
Copy !req
730. Jesus Christ.
How high does he say it goes?
Copy !req
731. Reese.
Copy !req
732. - Let's get on with the vet.
- I'll have Jim run it.
Copy !req
733. - Is he up for this?
- He is, Will.
Copy !req
734. I taught him how to do the news.
Copy !req
735. I taught them all how to do the news.
Copy !req
736. Can you give us a second?
Copy !req
737. I'm done.
Copy !req
738. Why did it have to be Brian?
Copy !req
739. Because I own him now.
He needs a cover story.
Copy !req
740. If he writes a negative one,
he'll get slammed
Copy !req
741. with the whole soap opera
of our history.
Copy !req
742. Are you lying right now?
Copy !req
743. - Anything else?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
744. Sloan says on Thursday,
the House is gonna vote to default on our loans,
Copy !req
745. leading to a global
economic meltdown.
Copy !req
746. Should I put that before or after
Anthony Weiner in his underwear?
Copy !req
747. I'm sure you'll figure it out.
Copy !req
748. That's all for us tonight.
Copy !req
749. Tomorrow we'll be bringing you
all the highlights
Copy !req
750. from day seven of the trial
and Detective Yuri Melich,
Copy !req
751. the first officer to interview
Casey Anthony in 2008.
Copy !req
752. Terry Smith is coming up
from Washington
Copy !req
753. with the Capital Report.
I'm Will McAvoy.
Copy !req
754. Good night.
Copy !req
755. Will McAvoy, your new choice
for Casey Anthony coverage.
Copy !req
756. - They're coming home.
- Yeah?
Copy !req
757. We promo'd the hell of it.
Copy !req
758. We got 150,000 viewers back.
Copy !req
759. 25-54, almost all women.
Copy !req
760. That's toasters,
furniture, food, clothes,
Copy !req
761. kids' clothes, vacation plans.
Copy !req
762. Our heads are above water now,
so do not stop.
Copy !req
763. - We won't.
- How about this heat?
Copy !req
764. - Yeah.
- 9:00 in the morning, it's already 87.
Copy !req
765. It's gonna hit 98.
That would beat the record for this day
Copy !req
766. - that was set in 1933.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
767. - You're looking at me funny.
- Yeah?
Copy !req
768. - I know you hate this.
- I'm looking at you the regular way.
Copy !req
769. - If you say so.
- I do.
Copy !req
770. There are also tornado warnings.
Copy !req
771. - Reese.
- What?
Copy !req
772. - Nothing.
- All right, so it's gonna get up to 98.
Copy !req
773. That's a record.
And there are tornado warnings for New York City.
Copy !req
774. Well, you know, Aunt Bee,
tornados are just God's way
Copy !req
775. of destroying property
and killing people.
Copy !req
776. People like hearing
about extreme weather.
Copy !req
777. We're not doing a fucking
weather report, okay?
Copy !req
778. We're not coming up with
some "Tornado Watch" graphic.
Copy !req
779. We're a serious news organization.
Copy !req
780. Tonight we'll be reporting on the
killer cocktail waitress and the congressman—
Copy !req
781. - Is Mac bitching at you?
- Not nearly as much as she should be.
Copy !req
782. I came in here to tell you
you got back 150,000 viewers
Copy !req
783. you lost while you were
trying to be above it.
Copy !req
784. We'll be sure not to try that again.
Copy !req
785. 98 degrees is when
we have power outages.
Copy !req
786. Wait a second.
Wait a second.
Copy !req
787. I don't want to go all
conspiracy theory on you,
Copy !req
788. but I think the heat might
be related to power outages.
Copy !req
789. - Take it easy.
- Say hi to your mom.
Copy !req
790. Will do.
Copy !req
791. Visiting hours will be
Tuesday and Friday.
Copy !req
792. Don't be nervous.
Copy !req
793. We got 150,000 viewers back last night.
Mostly women.
Copy !req
794. - I know.
- I was telling her.
Copy !req
795. You know, it's gonna get
up to 98 degrees.
Copy !req
796. Next person who tells me
about the damn weather...
Copy !req
797. Do you know what
you're doing here?
Copy !req
798. I've been asked to
tell you about the weather.
Copy !req
799. Does it feel to you like anyone in this room
is in the mood for a joke?
Copy !req
800. It absolutely does not.
Copy !req
801. We want you to lead
the vetting of this source.
Copy !req
802. He's telling us about
illegal surveillance at the NSA.
Copy !req
803. He's also telling us that TMI is in
the same game as News of the World.
Copy !req
804. Jesus.
Copy !req
805. We're looking at a couple
of scenarios, Jim.
Copy !req
806. One is that we're sitting on a scoop
that could shake up the NSA
Copy !req
807. and maybe have the country
take another look at the Patriot Act.
Copy !req
808. But the TMI element,
doesn't that—
Copy !req
809. And another is that someone's
trying to discredit us
Copy !req
810. by having Will
get Dan Rather-ed.
Copy !req
811. You'll need to file a couple of hundred
Freedom of Information Act requests
Copy !req
812. and you'll need to get into
this guy's personal life
Copy !req
813. and you'll need to do it all
Copy !req
814. without raising
any flags at the NSA.
Copy !req
815. Are you up for this?
Copy !req
816. - Yeah.
- We don't need it fast, we need it right.
Copy !req
817. - But we need it fast.
- I'll start mapping it out.
Copy !req
818. Jim, since the day
you started working here,
Copy !req
819. I never felt the need to remind you
about confidentiality
Copy !req
820. and I don't feel that need now.
Copy !req
821. Okay.
Copy !req
822. - Gotcha.
- Oh, God.
Copy !req
823. - You feel like being interviewed?
- You read my mind.
Copy !req
824. I can't think of anything
I'd rather do right now
Copy !req
825. than be interviewed
by my ex-boyfriend,
Copy !req
826. except maybe eat my desk.
Copy !req
827. - It seems like a bad week to be here.
- It is.
Copy !req
828. I came here to write a story about how Will
and News Night changed overnight.
Copy !req
829. - And then you changed overnight.
- Look.
Copy !req
830. - It's the old Will all over—
- These are extraordinary circumstances.
Copy !req
831. That's what everyone says
when they abandon their principles.
Copy !req
832. I'm no longer required
to live up to your standards.
Copy !req
833. - Fair enough.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
834. What's so special
about this debate?
Copy !req
835. If we get what we want,
no one will ever go back.
Copy !req
836. We'll have changed
the debates forever.
Copy !req
837. And your concern is that if your ratings are low,
you'll lose leverage?
Copy !req
838. - Yes.
- Is that your concern or Will's concern?
Copy !req
839. Will's concerns
are my concerns.
Copy !req
840. 'Cause another way of looking at it is
that he lost his invisible friends
Copy !req
841. to Nancy Grace and he's using the debate
as an excuse to dumb the show down.
Copy !req
842. That's a pretty bold statement from
a guy who's auditioning for a job.
Copy !req
843. He's gonna give me the job.
And it's not like I don't know why.
Copy !req
844. - Do you?
- I do because I'm not a fucking moron.
Copy !req
845. The email that was read
by everyone in the world,
Copy !req
846. "I cheated on Will,"
you were talking about me, right?
Copy !req
847. - Yes.
- You were seeing Will while we were together?
Copy !req
848. If you count drunk dialing me
at midnight and saying,
Copy !req
849. "Just come on over and crawl into bed"
as being together, then yes.
Copy !req
850. - I count it.
- Then yes.
Copy !req
851. You cheated on me with Will?
Copy !req
852. Let's be as clear as anyone
has ever been about anything.
Copy !req
853. I cheated on Will with you.
Copy !req
854. And I'm paying the price.
Copy !req
855. I work 30 feet from
the life I could have had
Copy !req
856. if I hadn't been so stupid.
Copy !req
857. And you're looking at
the life you could have had
Copy !req
858. if you hadn't been a douchebag.
Copy !req
859. How's the interview
going so far?
Copy !req
860. Is douchebag one word or two?
Copy !req
861. Come in.
Copy !req
862. - Sorry, I can come back.
- No, what do you need?
Copy !req
863. Ahem, well,
there's a story I'd like to pitch.
Copy !req
864. Brian, this is Neal Sampat.
Neal writes Will's blog.
Copy !req
865. - Will doesn't write Will's blog?
- Will can't find Will's blog.
Copy !req
866. Neal wants to be a producer,
so from time to time,
Copy !req
867. he pitches stories.
What do you got?
Copy !req
868. You know what a troll is,
right?
Copy !req
869. A tiny creature that stands
under a footbridge
Copy !req
870. and makes you answer a riddle
before you're allowed to pass.
Copy !req
871. - They're not real, man.
- I know that.
Copy !req
872. He means
the other kind of troll.
Copy !req
873. You don't know the first clue
what he means.
Copy !req
874. I mean the other kind of troll.
Copy !req
875. A little backup
would have killed you?
Copy !req
876. Sorry, Internet trolls.
It's a play on a fishing term.
Copy !req
877. People who go to message boards
Copy !req
878. and try to hijack the conversation
by being incendiary.
Copy !req
879. - What about them?
- Turns out they have their own websites.
Copy !req
880. Like an online clubhouse.
And to be accepted into the group,
Copy !req
881. you have to be able to point to
a successful incident of trolling,
Copy !req
882. a recent time when you made
a whole bunch of posters lose their minds.
Copy !req
883. Or better yet, got the site monitor
to shut down the board.
Copy !req
884. Actually, I like it.
And it's not about Bigfoot.
Copy !req
885. Write this down, News Night is gonna
break the story on Bigfoot.
Copy !req
886. We're not. Don't write that down.
Will they talk to you?
Copy !req
887. They won't talk to a reporter,
but I thought maybe I'd try to get in there.
Copy !req
888. Undercover?
Aren't you gonna have to say you trolled something?
Copy !req
889. I'm not gonna have to say it,
I'm gonna actually have to do it.
Copy !req
890. To who?
Copy !req
891. Well, I don't want to ding on
an innocent person for a story,
Copy !req
892. so I'm gonna have to do it
to one of us.
Copy !req
893. You can't be anonymous
on our website.
Copy !req
894. No, I mean do it to us
on another website.
Copy !req
895. - What would it be?
- I don't know yet.
Copy !req
896. Come back when you know,
but you've made it past the first hurdle.
Copy !req
897. Thank you.
Copy !req
898. - Sloan.
- How's her mood in there?
Copy !req
899. It's not good,
but let me ask you something.
Copy !req
900. For the sake of a story,
Copy !req
901. how would you feel about me going
on the Internet and saying vicious things
Copy !req
902. about you that might get
an argument started about misogyny?
Copy !req
903. - What kind of vicious things?
- I don't know.
Copy !req
904. - What would the general area be?
- I really don't know.
Copy !req
905. - Something about the way you look?
- Like what?
Copy !req
906. - I'd be making it up.
- What would you be making up?
Copy !req
907. It wouldn't be true.
It'd be something like—
Copy !req
908. Something along the lines of
she screwed her way to the top
Copy !req
909. and she's got a big ass.
Only it would have to be—
Copy !req
910. Listen to me, Sampat.
Copy !req
911. - Do I?
- Of course not.
Copy !req
912. Okay.
Copy !req
913. - I can do it?
- You cannot.
Copy !req
914. If you want, you can say that
I made it to the final round
Copy !req
915. of the K through six regionals in
the Scripps Howard Spelling Bee.
Copy !req
916. That's not gonna help me.
Copy !req
917. You know,
a lot of guys like women with big—
Copy !req
918. Do they really?
Copy !req
919. Never mind.
Copy !req
920. I don't know what you're talking about
and I have my own problems.
Copy !req
921. - Jim.
- Yeah?
Copy !req
922. I got a woman on the phone
who says she's got some tweets
Copy !req
923. from Anthony Weiner
and wants to talk to us.
Copy !req
924. - What are you telling me for?
- Seniority?
Copy !req
925. Well, I'm handing her off to
the next most senior person.
Copy !req
926. Kendra, take the Weiner girl.
Copy !req
927. - Gary, take the Weiner girl.
- Tess.
Copy !req
928. - Tamara.
- We were hired as interns the same day.
Copy !req
929. I was hired in the morning.
You were hired after lunch. Take the Weiner girl.
Copy !req
930. - Please, don't make me take the Weiner girl.
- Respect the seniority.
Copy !req
931. Who do I have seniority over?
Copy !req
932. Maggie.
Copy !req
933. - Can people still see me?
- On five.
Copy !req
934. Hi, this is Margaret Jordan.
Copy !req
935. I'm an associate producer
at News Night.
Copy !req
936. Okay, can you spell that for me?
Copy !req
937. Okay, wait.
Copy !req
938. Hang on.
Copy !req
939. I— No, you're gonna
get a chance.
Copy !req
940. Uh, well, you certainly seem to
want to share your story.
Copy !req
941. You really can't just
drop in on a doctor.
Copy !req
942. - What if it's an emergency?
- You go to the emergency room.
Copy !req
943. They don't have
psychiatric emergency rooms.
Copy !req
944. They should.
You're a good reason why.
Copy !req
945. - You want a piece of me?
- Seriously?
Copy !req
946. - No.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
947. Does he look over
at the red light?
Copy !req
948. Does he look every few minutes?
Copy !req
949. If I was your therapist,
Copy !req
950. I'd definitely look every few minutes.
Copy !req
951. Hey, hey, you can't do that.
Copy !req
952. It's okay.
He likes me.
Copy !req
953. - Will.
- I'm sorry.
Copy !req
954. - I'm with a patient.
- I really just need a second.
Copy !req
955. I'm glad to see you back here,
but you need to come during your appointment.
Copy !req
956. I could be dead by then.
Copy !req
957. Are you having suicidal thoughts?
Copy !req
958. - No.
- Then why did you say that?
Copy !req
959. - Just to get your attention.
- I'm going back to my patient.
Copy !req
960. Listen to me.
I've been paying 250 a session for four years
Copy !req
961. without showing up
to a single session.
Copy !req
962. You owe me $100,000
worth of therapy.
Copy !req
963. I'll forgive the debt, we'll be totally square,
just give me one minute.
Copy !req
964. I'm sorry.
I'll be just a minute.
Copy !req
965. Wow, you caved for the money.
I'm kind of disappointed.
Copy !req
966. I didn't cave for the money.
You're getting the sessions you paid for.
Copy !req
967. You seem like you're in pain.
Copy !req
968. - He is.
- He said in pain, not a pain.
Copy !req
969. Oh, never mind, then.
Copy !req
970. What is it?
Copy !req
971. I'm doing all these things
that are wrong because of ratings,
Copy !req
972. and I'm making the staff do things
that they don't want to do,
Copy !req
973. I'm cursing them out,
I'm ignoring incredibly important news stories,
Copy !req
974. and I'm betraying the trust
of people who respect me.
Copy !req
975. And I did it all
in the blink of an eye.
Copy !req
976. - That can be traumatic.
- No, I'm fine with all of that.
Copy !req
977. Here's my thing:
New York Magazine
Copy !req
978. is gonna do a story on my show
and I get to choose the writer.
Copy !req
979. And I could have chosen anybody and
I chose Mackenzie's ex-boyfriend.
Copy !req
980. Of course.
Copy !req
981. - The one she cheated on you with?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
982. - Why?
- That's what I came here to ask you.
Copy !req
983. You're holding your hand
over the candle.
Copy !req
984. What do you mean?
Copy !req
985. You're holding your hand
over the candle
Copy !req
986. because you think
the trick is not minding.
Copy !req
987. Ah.
Copy !req
988. So if I just get through this,
I'll be fine.
Copy !req
989. - No.
- Why?
Copy !req
990. Because the trick isn't not minding.
Copy !req
991. The trick is forgiving Mackenzie.
Copy !req
992. It would be easier to
hold my hand over the candle.
Copy !req
993. I know.
Copy !req
994. Well, you've been no help at all, but thanks.
Sorry to barge in.
Copy !req
995. You know, while you're
working your way through this,
Copy !req
996. you're hurting Mackenzie.
Copy !req
997. I know that.
Copy !req
998. Show up for your appointment.
Copy !req
999. I'm not doing it on purpose.
Copy !req
1000. Maggie.
Copy !req
1001. Yeah.
Copy !req
1002. - Sandy?
- Yes.
Copy !req
1003. - Margaret Jordan. We talked on the phone.
- Nice to meet you.
Copy !req
1004. - You got here okay?
- Yes.
Copy !req
1005. I have a receipt for the cab.
Who do I give that to?
Copy !req
1006. I'll take it.
Copy !req
1007. So, you got some tweets
from Congressman Weiner.
Copy !req
1008. And I've got copies
of them right here.
Copy !req
1009. "'I like the cute new pics of you.
Copy !req
1010. Where'd you get those abs?"
Copy !req
1011. "Glad you like them.
When do I get to see your swimsuit shot?"
Copy !req
1012. "When are you
coming to see me?
Copy !req
1013. Or just coming?"
"Make me an offer."
Copy !req
1014. "My door's always open.
Get it?"
Copy !req
1015. "What's your plan for us?"
Copy !req
1016. "To get us in the mood,
we watch The Daily Show and Colbert.
Copy !req
1017. Then when we're really hot,
we go to the bookstore
Copy !req
1018. and replace all the copies
of Glenn Beck books
Copy !req
1019. with The Audacity of Hope.
Or, if that's not your thing,
Copy !req
1020. we can just get drunk and fuck."
Copy !req
1021. Why are you doing this?
Copy !req
1022. Because the world needs to know
what kind of guy he is.
Copy !req
1023. It sort of seems like you were
a willing participant.
Copy !req
1024. I didn't know about
the other women.
Copy !req
1025. - Did you know he was married?
- Of course.
Copy !req
1026. I just didn't know
about the other women.
Copy !req
1027. I was fooled and I think the world
needs to know what kind of guy he is.
Copy !req
1028. By any chance, have you heard
of a guy named Dylan Kagin?
Copy !req
1029. He's gonna be my agent.
Copy !req
1030. Sandy—
Can I call you Sandy?
Copy !req
1031. Sure.
Copy !req
1032. Sandy, the congressman
is in a lot of trouble.
Copy !req
1033. He got himself into it
Copy !req
1034. and he's probably not gonna
be able to get out of it.
Copy !req
1035. Are you sure
you want to pile on?
Copy !req
1036. I think people need to know
what kind of person he is.
Copy !req
1037. All right.
Copy !req
1038. Would you like to be
on our show tonight?
Copy !req
1039. That's the thing.
I'm doing Access Hollywood, ET, and Fox.
Copy !req
1040. The big three.
No problem.
Copy !req
1041. We can do a pretape
in a few minutes.
Copy !req
1042. Oh, you're a lifesaver.
I was hoping you'd say that.
Copy !req
1043. No kidding?
Stay here
Copy !req
1044. and I'll talk to my EP
and we'll get this going.
Copy !req
1045. Could I possibly get
a decaf latte?
Copy !req
1046. You cannot possibly get that,
Copy !req
1047. but I'll have someone
bring you a coffee.
Copy !req
1048. Well, I left it for you
on the left side of the desk.
Copy !req
1049. And, yes, I signed it.
Copy !req
1050. I don't know anything about it.
Copy !req
1051. Leona!
Copy !req
1052. A word?
Copy !req
1053. Okay, ask her to show it to me
on the plane.
Copy !req
1054. Let's not stand in the street.
Copy !req
1055. Charlie, with that bow tie,
Copy !req
1056. you look like
a balloon salesman.
Copy !req
1057. No, I get in the car
and get out a minute later,
Copy !req
1058. it looks like we're talking about
a problem or making a drug deal.
Copy !req
1059. Just a minute.
Copy !req
1060. We're gonna stand here,
smile and nod,
Copy !req
1061. and do this and laugh.
Copy !req
1062. We know where the tabloid stories
are coming from.
Copy !req
1063. They're coming from reality.
Copy !req
1064. Only if you define reality as fantasy.
Copy !req
1065. And they're appearing in
a magazine you own.
Copy !req
1066. How would it look if I had
one of our news magazines
Copy !req
1067. go soft on our flagship anchor?
Copy !req
1068. We're calling TMI
a news magazine?
Copy !req
1069. People need to know
if Taylor Swift is happy.
Copy !req
1070. - I provide a public service for hundreds of thousands—
- The public's grateful.
Copy !req
1071. What did I tell you
the day after election night?
Copy !req
1072. Friend to friend,
I'd stop coming after Will in the tabloids.
Copy !req
1073. I told you to get him to lighten up
on the Tea Party
Copy !req
1074. or a context would be created
Copy !req
1075. whereby his firing
would look reasonable.
Copy !req
1076. - You need to hear me.
- I don't think I do.
Copy !req
1077. The 112th Congress
wasn't even seated
Copy !req
1078. and he took the Tea Party out for a walk
on the 9/11 Responders Bill.
Copy !req
1079. Congress,
Democrats and Republicans,
Copy !req
1080. spent eight years
using 9/11 as a justification
Copy !req
1081. for everything from tax cuts
to a foreign invasion.
Copy !req
1082. So Will questioned
their change of heart
Copy !req
1083. when it came to
the police and firemen's unions.
Copy !req
1084. You made them
look like hypocrites.
Copy !req
1085. By rolling tape.
Copy !req
1086. House Financial Services,
insider trading,
Copy !req
1087. Keystone XL, Joe Walsh,
Allen West,
Copy !req
1088. Paul Ryan,
and who am I forgetting?
Copy !req
1089. Oh, yes.
Charles and David Koch.
Copy !req
1090. Keep smiling.
Copy !req
1091. We lost a couple of
awfully helpful tax loopholes
Copy !req
1092. that were tailored
to assets overseas.
Copy !req
1093. And the FCC won't even let us bid
on the coming spectrum auction
Copy !req
1094. because they want
a full report on whether or not
Copy !req
1095. we're skirting antitrust.
Copy !req
1096. So what was your request again?
Copy !req
1097. You don't want to do this.
Copy !req
1098. I don't.
Copy !req
1099. I really don't.
Copy !req
1100. But I have to and I will.
Copy !req
1101. And friend to friend,
Copy !req
1102. you let him know that
he is one tabloid fuckup
Copy !req
1103. and a ratings point away
from having his own podcast.
Copy !req
1104. I have to make my plane.
Copy !req
1105. Fly safe.
Copy !req
1106. - Unless there's a rally—
- I'm sorry, I've got to—
Copy !req
1107. - Listen.
- Sloan.
Copy !req
1108. Unless there's a rally
in the next 90 minutes,
Copy !req
1109. the Dow's gonna close
down about 2.5%,
Copy !req
1110. S&P and NASDAQ will
close down 2.3.
Copy !req
1111. - Let me tell you why.
- I don't own a lot of stock.
Copy !req
1112. - Let me tell you why.
- I really can't—
Copy !req
1113. Stop avoiding this!
Copy !req
1114. I just got off the phone
with these guys.
Copy !req
1115. Listen to these quotes.
These aren't from liberals.
Copy !req
1116. These are hard-core Wall Street guys who,
whatever the world may think of them,
Copy !req
1117. know what they're talking about
and so do I.
Copy !req
1118. Jamie Dimon at Chase says,
Copy !req
1119. "Voting against raising the debt ceiling
would be a moral disaster."
Copy !req
1120. The Barclays guys say,
"This debate is detached from reality."
Copy !req
1121. My Goldman source says,
"If the House Republicans continue this debate,
Copy !req
1122. I hope they're willing
to mark the end
Copy !req
1123. of the dollar as a global
reserve currency."
Copy !req
1124. Please notice that he didn't say if the House
Republicans don't raise the debt ceiling.
Copy !req
1125. He said if the House Republicans
continue this debate.
Copy !req
1126. That's all it takes.
Just the uncertainty.
Copy !req
1127. That's why the Dow's gonna close
down 230 points today.
Copy !req
1128. Because just the debate,
just the doubt,
Copy !req
1129. just the possibility that
the House Majority might commit
Copy !req
1130. the most self-inflicted damage
to the country
Copy !req
1131. since the secession
of the South
Copy !req
1132. has caused billions
in value to disappear.
Copy !req
1133. Sloan, I understand.
I swear to God I do.
Copy !req
1134. But you can't say
the same thing in the C block?
Copy !req
1135. Don't pretend you don't know that most people
watch 10 minutes of news.
Copy !req
1136. - The first 10 minutes.
- The vote isn't until tomorrow night.
Copy !req
1137. And it's only the first vote.
You said yourself it was cosmetic.
Copy !req
1138. Why do we have
to feature it tonight?
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1139. We should have been
featuring it weeks ago.
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1140. Why do we have to
feature it tonight?
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1141. To give time for the people
to call their congressmen
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1142. and say,
"If you fuck with the full faith
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1143. and credit of the US Treasury,
you're fired."
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1144. To give time for the people to jam
the phone lines of the district offices.
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1145. To give the people time to say,
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1146. "I'm a fiscal conservative
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1147. and you've got to put the pin
back in the grenade right now."
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1148. That's why.
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1149. I'm gonna do everything I can.
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1150. Please do.
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1151. Don't worry about it.
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1152. She's just frustrated because
she can't get the word out
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1153. that this is a global emergency
unless you let her.
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1154. Appreciate your
clearing that up.
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1155. You know what, Mackenzie?
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1156. I'm not the one
who put me here.
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1157. Say what you want about me,
but I wouldn't have done that.
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1158. Does Will have the questions?
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1159. Tess is giving him
some cards now.
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1160. - Is that lighting okay for you?
- Yeah.
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1161. - How are we Chyroning her?
- I was gonna ask you.
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1162. Figure it out later.
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1163. - Sandy.
- Yes?
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1164. My name's Mackenzie.
I'm the executive—
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1165. I'm the executive producer
of News Night.
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1166. - Can you hear me okay?
- Yes.
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1167. Okay.
Thanks for being patient with us.
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1168. Will's just throwing on
a jacket and tie
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1169. and we'll be able to do this.
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1170. - Real easy.
- You got it.
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1171. Hi, I'm a big fan.
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1172. - Hmm?
- I'm Sandy.
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1173. How do you do?
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1174. - Are we ready for the pre-tape?
- Yeah.
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1175. - Just count me down.
- Will.
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1176. Yes, I'm sure
I want to do this.
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1177. God, please give me a sign
I'm not doing a big thing badly.
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1178. We just lost power.
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1179. The whole building just lost power.
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1180. I didn't know He had that kind of comic timing.
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