1. It's another TMI story.Copy !req
2. You've had Wade on the show
five times in six weeks.Copy !req
3. - What's the story gonna be?
- It's gonna beCopy !req
4. that you're trying to get
your boyfriend elected to Congress.Copy !req
5. You can't think
I used you to raise his profile.Copy !req
6. I know for sure
you didn't use me.Copy !req
7. Plus, nobody in his right mind
would risk losing you.Copy !req
8. - You look really nice tonight.
- Yeah?Copy !req
9. Definite yes, yeah.Copy !req
10. I didn't know that I was in love with you,
too, until—Copy !req
11. - You cheated on me with your ex-boyfriend.
- That's what happened!Copy !req
12. - It's been three years. Time hasn't helped?
- No.Copy !req
13. I want to give you
five minutes every nightCopy !req
14. to talk about where we are
and how we got here.Copy !req
15. There are people more
qualified than I am.Copy !req
16. Yeah, the thing is,
they're not going to have your legs.Copy !req
17. I would not ask you if I didn't think
you were qualified.Copy !req
18. Come after me all you want, Nina,
but you touch my staffCopy !req
19. and I will rededicate my life
to ruining yours.Copy !req
20. $223 billion,
putting an edge on the current fightCopy !req
21. on Capitol Hill about how deeply
to cut this year's spending,Copy !req
22. along with projectionsCopy !req
23. that it would bring the debt ceiling—
excuse me—Copy !req
24. the deficit to 1.6 trillion,Copy !req
25. ensuring that the debt ceiling
will be hit during this fiscal year.Copy !req
26. That's News Night.
Thanks for washing us—Copy !req
27. Watching us.
Let me get out of here.Copy !req
28. Will McAvoy is coming up with
the Capitol Report from Washington.Copy !req
29. - I'm Terry— no.
- Wow.Copy !req
30. - That's not true.
- End the broadcast.Copy !req
31. - I'm Will McAvoy.
- Attaboy.Copy !req
32. Terry Smith is coming up, mercifully,
with the Capitol Report from Washington.Copy !req
33. Good night.Copy !req
34. - What is wrong with you?
- I'm fine.Copy !req
35. - "Thank you for washing us"?
- Think people noticed?Copy !req
36. I do.
Stand here on this spot.Copy !req
37. - What are you doing?
- Administering an eye exam.Copy !req
38. - Excellent.
- Read the top line.Copy !req
39. - E.
- Next line.Copy !req
40. I don't know why people think there's
a problem with health care in this country.Copy !req
41. The Greek letter for pi,Copy !req
42. the geometric symbol
for congruent,Copy !req
43. and something off the table
of natural elements.Copy !req
44. Great, put your tie back on
and get in the studioCopy !req
45. so we can retape that
for the West Coast.Copy !req
46. What's the problem?Copy !req
47. I didn't get
much sleep last night.Copy !req
48. - How much is not much?
- None.Copy !req
49. - Seriously?
- I went to bed at midnight, didn't fall asleep.Copy !req
50. Is this the first time
that's happened?Copy !req
51. - No.
- Is it the second time?Copy !req
52. I'm having a little bout
with insomnia.Copy !req
53. Have you tried Ambien?Copy !req
54. I don't want to wake up
in the middle of the Triborough BridgeCopy !req
55. eating scrambled eggs
in my pajamas.Copy !req
56. How those eggs got into my pajamas I'll never know.Copy !req
57. You shouldn't do Groucho.Copy !req
58. Seriously, you need to sleepCopy !req
59. or you're gonna forget to
thank people for washing us.Copy !req
60. I'm seeing my guy
tomorrow at 10:00.Copy !req
61. - Who's your guy?
- Abe.Copy !req
62. - Who's Abe?
- Dr. Habib.Copy !req
63. You're still seeing Abe?
That's wonderful, Will.Copy !req
64. Everyone could use
a little therapy.Copy !req
65. And you a lot more than most.
I'm glad you're doing that.Copy !req
66. - Well...
- You've been skipping appointments?Copy !req
67. Sometimes.Copy !req
68. When was the last
time you saw him?Copy !req
69. - What's today, the 12th?
- Yeah.Copy !req
70. - About four years ago.
- Why did you stop seeing him?Copy !req
71. - I've kept the appointments.
- What does that mean?Copy !req
72. I've had an appointment every
Wednesday at 10:00. I just don't go.Copy !req
73. You've been paying him
for four years?Copy !req
74. - Don't be ridiculous.
- Thank God.Copy !req
75. I have a business manager
who does that.Copy !req
76. Why don't you read a magazine?Copy !req
77. No, I've already read that
issue of Cat Fancy cover to coverCopy !req
78. and I'm saving American Stamp Collector
for a long plane ride.Copy !req
79. All right.Copy !req
80. Why not just go
to your regular doctor?Copy !req
81. When I go to my internist,
he asks me questions.Copy !req
82. It's a half-hour interview
before he puts on a stethoscope.Copy !req
83. - What kinds of questions?
- I don't know.Copy !req
84. - How you feeling?
- Asshole.Copy !req
85. Here, read Vegan Health.Copy !req
86. - Will?
- Yeah.Copy !req
87. I'm Jack Habib.
Come on in.Copy !req
88. Are you Abe's son?Copy !req
89. - I am.
- Nice to meet you.Copy !req
90. - You, too. Come on in.
- Is your dad inside?Copy !req
91. No.Copy !req
92. I can wait out here.Copy !req
93. My father died two years agoCopy !req
94. and I took his practice.
Come on in.Copy !req
95. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.Copy !req
96. Wait, what?Copy !req
97. Will, I'm Dr. Jacob Habib,Copy !req
98. son of Dr. Abraham Habib.Copy !req
99. My father passed away
and his patients now see me.Copy !req
100. You've been paying me
for two years.Copy !req
101. Come on in.Copy !req
102. How old are you?Copy !req
103. I'm 29.Copy !req
104. Shut up.Copy !req
105. - Can you write prescriptions?
- Yeah. Let's go.Copy !req
106. - I'll be two minutes.
- All right.Copy !req
107. So if you're 29—Copy !req
108. Don't try to count backwards.Copy !req
109. I did everything early.
So unless you're certainCopy !req
110. you've got a Doogie Howser joke
I haven't heard,Copy !req
111. why don't we just assume
it was hilarious and move on?Copy !req
112. - Okay.
- So what's going on?Copy !req
113. I need something
to help me sleep.Copy !req
114. - Why?
- I can't sleep.Copy !req
115. - Why?
- I don't know.Copy !req
116. Any recent change in diet?Copy !req
117. I haven't changed my diet
since college.Copy !req
118. - You should.
- I invented a new sandwich.Copy !req
119. Scrambled eggs, bacon,
and melted cheese on toast.Copy !req
120. I make two of them every night
before I get into bed.Copy !req
121. You invented an Egg McMuffin.Copy !req
122. - Getting enough exercise?
- I have to scramble the eggs.Copy !req
123. - And other than that?
- No.Copy !req
124. Look, any kind of
sleeping pill will do.Copy !req
125. Sure.
Just talk a little bit?Copy !req
126. Oh, God, please, let's not.Copy !req
127. - You're still taking Effexor?
- No.Copy !req
128. - Clonazepam?
- No.Copy !req
129. - Ativan?
- No.Copy !req
130. Four years ago,
you were on 135mg of EffexorCopy !req
131. - plus Clonazepam and Ativan at bedtime.
- I'm not anymore.Copy !req
132. - Why is that?
- I was cured.Copy !req
133. These are all
antianxiety medications.Copy !req
134. And I have no more anxiety.Copy !req
135. Except for not
being able to sleep.Copy !req
136. Right, so if you'll just
give me a prescription for—Copy !req
137. Yeah, I'm going to.Copy !req
138. - Just a few more questions.
- Okay.Copy !req
139. Any extra stress at work?Copy !req
140. Extra stress?Copy !req
141. - Yeah.
- No.Copy !req
142. - No extra stress?
- No.Copy !req
143. - One more question.
- Sure.Copy !req
144. What are you
fucking around with me for?Copy !req
145. I'm sorry?Copy !req
146. What are you fucking
around with me for?Copy !req
147. - I just asked if there's any extra stress at work—
- There isn't.Copy !req
148. There isn't.Copy !req
149. What about the death threat?Copy !req
150. You know about that?Copy !req
151. Anyone who reads a newspaper
knows about that.Copy !req
152. - It's truly not a big deal.
- No?Copy !req
153. Jack, can I get the prescription?Copy !req
154. Just tell me how a death threat
isn't a big deal.Copy !req
155. I used to be
a criminal prosecutor.Copy !req
156. And I'm telling you nobody
who's serious about killing youCopy !req
157. sends you a note
beforehand to warn you.Copy !req
158. The gentleman who is with you
in the waiting room, he's a bodyguard, right?Copy !req
159. Yeah, but you shouldn't—
That's the—Copy !req
160. Our insurance company
makes that decision.Copy !req
161. Based on what?Copy !req
162. They have experts who determine
whether a cret is threadible—Copy !req
163. Threat is credible.Copy !req
164. And why do they think
the threat is credible?Copy !req
165. Nine questions ago,
you said one more question.Copy !req
166. Why do they think
the threat is credible?Copy !req
167. Because I changed the rules
of the comment section of our website.Copy !req
168. That's all. I changed the rules
of the comment section.Copy !req
169. As always,
or at least since Monday,Copy !req
170. we end our show with your own
viewer comments on our website.Copy !req
171. So let's see
what we have tonight.Copy !req
172. LollypopLollypop says,
"30 more secondsCopy !req
173. and you would have had
that self-loathing hypocrite in tears."Copy !req
174. That— That was absolutely
not my intention.Copy !req
175. SurrendrDorothee said,
"Your Log Cabin closet caseCopy !req
176. hit the Uncle Tom
Daily Double—Copy !req
177. a traitor to his race and a traitor
to his sexual orientation."Copy !req
178. Don't blow a gasket.Copy !req
179. He's plainly not a closet case.
He's openly gay.Copy !req
180. I also think he showed a lot of courage
coming on the show.Copy !req
181. Certainly more courage than it takes
to post an anonymous comment on a website.Copy !req
182. Terry Smith's coming up from Washington
with the Capitol Report.Copy !req
183. I'm Will McAvoy.
Good night.Copy !req
184. We're out.Copy !req
185. - Neal!
- Believe me, those were the best two we had.Copy !req
186. Why didn't we just
hit him in the head with a shovel?Copy !req
187. - We've got to talk about what just happened.
- I'm trying to.Copy !req
188. Not the website. We've got to talk about
what happened on the air.Copy !req
189. - I don't want to talk about it.
- Were you outside your body?Copy !req
190. I don't want to talk about it.
I want to talk about the website.Copy !req
191. The website's not
the problem right now.Copy !req
192. It's my problem right now.
We're putting up these comments—Copy !req
193. - We've heard this before.
- But we're still doing it.Copy !req
194. It's a trade with Reese.
The page views offset the ratings drop.Copy !req
195. Is there any way of knowing
if LollypopLollypopCopy !req
196. is 10 years old?
Or a basset hound?Copy !req
197. The reason basset hounds
have such long earsCopy !req
198. is so they can waft up the scent
when they're hunting.Copy !req
199. - Is there any way of knowing?
- No.Copy !req
200. Is there any way of
knowing if LollypopLollypopCopy !req
201. - and SurrendrDorothee are the same person?
- No.Copy !req
202. Who posts comments
on the Internet more,Copy !req
203. - people who are content or people who are incontent?
- Discontent.Copy !req
204. - What?
- It's discontent, not incontent.Copy !req
205. - It's about 30-1 incontent.
- Discontent.Copy !req
206. Final question:
In your wildest dreams,Copy !req
207. can you imagine Walter Cronkite
saying LollypopLollypopCopy !req
208. as many times as I have
in the last 10 minutes?Copy !req
209. Not unless he was in an
a cappella doo-wop group, no.Copy !req
210. He wasn't.
Here's what I'd love.Copy !req
211. You want to join
the discussion, fine.Copy !req
212. I want to know your name,
age, occupation,Copy !req
213. - and level of education.
- Oh, God.Copy !req
214. The thing about the Internet is
it's a populist tool.Copy !req
215. Populists have names, too.
William Jennings Bryan, Will Rogers, me.Copy !req
216. - Will.
- Unless you're Deep ThroatCopy !req
217. or in the Witness Protection Program,
anonymity is cowardice.Copy !req
218. You're in a mob.
You're lobbing smack from the cheap seats.Copy !req
219. Don't we have bigger fish
to fry than the—Copy !req
220. Yes, but we can fry
more than one fish at a time.Copy !req
221. And how could we possibly
verify someone's name,Copy !req
222. - age, occupation, and level of education?
- Neal?Copy !req
223. We implement a third-party
verification service.Copy !req
224. All you had to say was,
"We can't"Copy !req
225. - and the conversation would have been over.
- So it is possible?Copy !req
226. It's what the IRS uses
when you're filing online.Copy !req
227. Talk to me, Tonto.Copy !req
228. - We can do it if you want.
- Oh, I want.Copy !req
229. Won't the result be that nobody
posts comments on our website anymore?Copy !req
230. First of all, oh, no. What will we do without
feedback from SurrendrDorothee?Copy !req
231. And second, the result will be our website
will ghettoize every other website.Copy !req
232. The result will be civility
in the public squareCopy !req
233. and a triumph of populism.Copy !req
234. I'm going to single-handedly
fix the Internet.Copy !req
235. - What could possibly go wrong?
- Will!Copy !req
236. - What?
- We have to talk about what just happened.Copy !req
237. No, we don't.
We're just gonna move on.Copy !req
238. And when did you get
the death threat?Copy !req
239. I don't know.
A day after the mosque interview.Copy !req
240. We know that an Islamic trend
is to build large mosquesCopy !req
241. on the cherished sites
of conquered lands.Copy !req
242. - You're talking about Cordoba.
- That's exactly right.Copy !req
243. When Muslims conquered Cordoba,
Spain, they tore down churchesCopy !req
244. and synagogues and put
mosques in their place.Copy !req
245. Ms. Greer, Muslims conquered
Cordoba in the year 712.Copy !req
246. Do you think we can call something that
last happened in the 8th century a trend?Copy !req
247. She'll say, "Why does it have
to be at Ground Zero?"Copy !req
248. Anyone being honest about
the prospect of a mosqueCopy !req
249. being built so close
to Ground ZeroCopy !req
250. would say it
instinctually feels wrong.Copy !req
251. Is it legal?
Of course it is.Copy !req
252. Is it wrong?
Of course it is.Copy !req
253. It should be built somewhere
where the 9/11 familiesCopy !req
254. don't have to feel the agony of having
a shrine to their loved ones stomped upon.Copy !req
255. All over America we're seeing
the influence of creeping Islam.Copy !req
256. We are?Copy !req
257. What about those who would
impose Sharia law?Copy !req
258. Women can be stoned to death
for committing adultery.Copy !req
259. No, they can't. Actual laws are
the only laws that are enforceable,Copy !req
260. including the one that says
you can't create religious laws.Copy !req
261. And the US is in no more danger
of coming under Sharia lawCopy !req
262. than it is the rules
of Fight Club.Copy !req
263. Let me ask you something.Copy !req
264. Muslims the world over
are fighting a civil warCopy !req
265. over the direction
Islam is taking.Copy !req
266. Are you going to be stationed
at the door of that mosqueCopy !req
267. to turn radicals away?Copy !req
268. Can you guarantee
that the current imamCopy !req
269. is going to be the same imam
10 years from now?Copy !req
270. It's worth pointing out that it's not a mosque.
It's a community center.Copy !req
271. I'm not sure why you think
that makes it better.Copy !req
272. What business does a community center
have in the religion business?Copy !req
273. And then pivot
to the larger point.Copy !req
274. I want the art and graphics
reviewed three times before air.Copy !req
275. Ms. Greer,
you mentioned creeping Islam.Copy !req
276. Are you concerned about
creeping Christianity?Copy !req
277. Only that it's not creeping fast enough.Copy !req
278. Okay, here are some things
done on American soilCopy !req
279. in the name of Christianity.Copy !req
280. The Ku Klux Klan burned down
black churches,Copy !req
281. raped women,
murdered civil rights workers,Copy !req
282. murdered children,
and terrorized communities for over a century.Copy !req
283. The neo-Nazis all acted
and continue to actCopy !req
284. in the name of white
Christian supremacy.Copy !req
285. The Army of God fatally attacksCopy !req
286. abortion clinics and doctors
across the country.Copy !req
287. The Covenant, The Sword,
and The Arm of the LordCopy !req
288. targets local police
and federal agents.Copy !req
289. The federal building
in Oklahoma City,Copy !req
290. the attempted assassination
of Ronald Reagan,Copy !req
291. and the successful assassinations
of Martin Luther King,Copy !req
292. John F. Kennedy,
John Lennon,Copy !req
293. and Abraham Lincoln,Copy !req
294. all perpetrated by Christians.Copy !req
295. Ms. Greer,
we weren't attacked by Muslims.Copy !req
296. We were attacked by sociopaths.Copy !req
297. And I, for one,
would join you in protestingCopy !req
298. a community center
for the criminally insane.Copy !req
299. But no one is suggesting
building one.Copy !req
300. Here's the thing
about the Japanese.Copy !req
301. Where we tend to hype things up,
they go the other direction.Copy !req
302. You think they're
lowballing Fukushima?Copy !req
303. I don't know anything
about nuclear reactors,Copy !req
304. and I'm not at all
involved in this story.Copy !req
305. I'm just saying I wouldn't
take their word for it it's a level five.Copy !req
306. Excuse me, Will. There's a comment
on your website you need to see.Copy !req
307. Ah, now I get to say who is it from?
What do they do?Copy !req
308. It's serious.Copy !req
309. From about 25 minutes ago.Copy !req
310. "Fucking sand niggers should
get herded and slaughtered.Copy !req
311. I've got a bullet for you, too.Copy !req
312. You think I'm fucking around?Copy !req
313. 2 Hudson Street, 27."Copy !req
314. - Is 2 Hudson 27—
- It's my address and apartment number.Copy !req
315. Alice Cynkar,
an English professor at OSU.Copy !req
316. It wasn't written
by an English professorCopy !req
317. and it wasn't written
by Alice Cynkar.Copy !req
318. How much effort does it take
to scam the new system?Copy !req
319. You've got to want it pretty bad.Copy !req
320. Millie, it's Mackenzie.Copy !req
321. Would you tell him we're
coming right up, please?Copy !req
322. They could have
stolen our password.Copy !req
323. - How hard is that?
- Hard.Copy !req
324. We implemented complex
password requirementsCopy !req
325. on the site because we knew
it was catnip for some sophomore at MIT.Copy !req
326. It would take an average
computer 57 days to get in.Copy !req
327. And that's with someone
who knows what they're doing.Copy !req
328. How many days has
the new system been up?Copy !req
329. - Three.
- Jesus.Copy !req
330. - Will.
- Everybody relax.Copy !req
331. Neal just said it.
It's a college kid pledging a frat.Copy !req
332. With a death threat? No.Copy !req
333. Charlie, I want a body on him
until this guy's in handcuffs.Copy !req
334. - No way.
- You're not gonna have a choice.Copy !req
335. - The insurance company makes that call.
- Come on.Copy !req
336. Listen to me.
This goes to AWM security right now.Copy !req
337. Security's got to show it
to the insurance company.Copy !req
338. And that's going to trigger
some kind of protection.Copy !req
339. Wouldn't it make more sense for me
just to wear a different disguise every day?Copy !req
340. One more thing.Copy !req
341. There's gonna be a tabloid story.Copy !req
342. - Good. Yeah.
- What did I do?Copy !req
343. Is it possible Maggie
filed a complaint with HRCopy !req
344. saying that you created
a hostile work environment?Copy !req
345. No, it's not possible.
Maggie wouldn't complain if her hair was on fire.Copy !req
346. Someone else did on her behalf.Copy !req
347. And it was a while ago
before you got here.Copy !req
348. Thanks.Copy !req
349. Would you excuse us for a second?Copy !req
350. Sure.Copy !req
351. Why don't we try to fully investigate
the anatomy of these stories?Copy !req
352. - No, we're gonna fully investigate Will.
- Of course.Copy !req
353. I want you to assign a team
to do opposition research on Will.Copy !req
354. Let's call it
Operation Involuntary Colonoscopy.Copy !req
355. I just want to know what the next
tabloid story is before it happens.Copy !req
356. You won't be able to pin
nothing on me, Mugsy.Copy !req
357. 'Cause I've lived my life
straight as the Kingston Trio.Copy !req
358. I'm not fucking around!Copy !req
359. You know, when you're grumpier than I am,
we've switched roles.Copy !req
360. Ask him what's the current
state of the reactors.Copy !req
361. What did he say?Copy !req
362. - What did he say?
- His daughter's on the diving team.Copy !req
363. They came in second
at regionals.Copy !req
364. - Did he understand the question?
- Did you?Copy !req
365. I haven't spoken to him in two years.
We're catching up.Copy !req
366. How does a company like TEPCO
not have a spokesperson who speaks English?Copy !req
367. I don't know.Copy !req
368. What is the current state
of the reactors?Copy !req
369. Tanaka-san...Copy !req
370. Units one and three have had explosions
due to hydrogen buildup.Copy !req
371. They're currently stable,
but they're not safe to enter.Copy !req
372. What are they doing
to contain the situation?Copy !req
373. What's going on with Will?Copy !req
374. Internal security is handling it.Copy !req
375. But I have to give you
a rotten assignment.Copy !req
376. - You got gum in your hair again?
- No.Copy !req
377. Yes, but I got it out.Copy !req
378. I need you to do
opposition research on Will.Copy !req
379. Seriously?Copy !req
380. About a year ago, somebody filed
a complaint with HR on your behalf.Copy !req
381. I know what that was. Will didn't
do anything wrong. This is ridiculous.Copy !req
382. I know, but Charlie wants to know
what else is out there so he can—Copy !req
383. - Will knows we're doing this?
- Of course.Copy !req
384. - And he's okay with it?
- No, he hates it.Copy !req
385. - Fantastic.
- Go to work.Copy !req
386. - Have you done this before?
- Yeah.Copy !req
387. - Where do we start?
- Tell me about the complaint.Copy !req
388. There was a desk producer who saw
Will yell at me about something.Copy !req
389. - What?
- Doesn't matter.Copy !req
390. What?Copy !req
391. Doesn't matter.Copy !req
392. - I mixed up Georgia the state with—
- No.Copy !req
393. - Yes, Georgia the country.
- And this was...Copy !req
394. - Yup. This isn't about me.
- ... during the invasion?Copy !req
395. You thought the Russians
invaded Atlanta?Copy !req
396. In retrospect,
it seems farfetched.Copy !req
397. But that wasn't what
he was actually mad about.Copy !req
398. The wife of a board member died
and Will asked me to send flowers.Copy !req
399. I wrote on the card,
"I'm so sorry about your loss. LOL."Copy !req
400. - LOL?
- I thought it meant "lots of love."Copy !req
401. How are you still working here?Copy !req
402. I dodge bullets.Copy !req
403. Here comes a bullet.
Boom! I'm over here.Copy !req
404. Ping! Here comes another bullet.
Boom! I'm over here.Copy !req
405. Ask him if TEPCO's gonna try
to keep the reactors going.Copy !req
406. Tanaka-san...Copy !req
407. They're classified at level fiveCopy !req
408. and they think they'll be able
to get the reactor going.Copy !req
409. Guys, do me a favor
and let us have a minute?Copy !req
410. Anybody know where
Sloan Sabbith is?Copy !req
411. - Sloan!
- Shh!Copy !req
412. She's on the phone.Copy !req
413. All right, she's off the phone.Copy !req
414. Here are the notes.
It's gonna go to level seven.Copy !req
415. - Holy shit.
- You got a minute?Copy !req
416. Fukushima's a lot worse
than they're telling you.Copy !req
417. - I need you to fill in for Elliot tonight.
- This is what the Japanese do.Copy !req
418. - They— Wait, what?
- I need you to fill in for Elliot at 10:00.Copy !req
419. - Why?
- His five-year-old's having a tonsillectomy today.Copy !req
420. Elliot's gonna spend the night
in the hospital with her.Copy !req
421. - Was it an emergency?
- No, it was scheduled a week ago.Copy !req
422. And you're just getting
around to this now?Copy !req
423. - I...
- Forgot?Copy !req
424. - Yes.
- You have a staff. They can write these things down.Copy !req
425. They can, but I have to
remember to tell them to.Copy !req
426. So what do you say?
You're my first and only choice.Copy !req
427. - What about Jerome?
- He's in Bermuda.Copy !req
428. - Kathy?
- It's her parents' 50th anniversary.Copy !req
429. - Taylor?
- Bronchitis.Copy !req
430. - So...
- Yes, you were my fourth and only choice.Copy !req
431. I can't host Elliot's show.
Don't be ridiculous.Copy !req
432. You host your own
show at 4:00.Copy !req
433. - About financial news.
- You're expanding.Copy !req
434. Oh, come on.
I gained four freaking pounds.Copy !req
435. No, professor.Copy !req
436. - Right, expanding.
- Yeah.Copy !req
437. - No, I'm not doing it.
- Your copy will be written for you to approve.Copy !req
438. You've got Marco Rubio,
Sandra Bernhard—Copy !req
439. Sandra Bernhard's been
dead for 100 years.Copy !req
440. - That's Sarah Bernhardt.
- She'd be a good guest.Copy !req
441. - I hate my life.
- Hmm?Copy !req
442. Nothing.
And the spokesperson for TEPCO.Copy !req
443. - I just got off the phone with him.
- See? You're perfect.Copy !req
444. I was just doing a favor for these guys.
I don't know anything about—Copy !req
445. Thank God my first five choices
weren't available.Copy !req
446. I thought
there were only three.Copy !req
447. Let's not get
caught up in the math.Copy !req
448. If you want a wardrobe change
after the 4:00,Copy !req
449. we have Gucci ready to
send over some choices.Copy !req
450. - Gucci?
- A whole rack of choices.Copy !req
451. Your copy will be ready for your approval after 9:00Copy !req
452. along with your questions,
and I will be in your ear the whole time.Copy !req
453. Except for Fukushima,
you're mostly throwing to packages.Copy !req
454. - They've been lowballing the radiation levels.
- I'd take their word for it.Copy !req
455. - The Japanese have some experience with radiation.
- You think that's something—Copy !req
456. That is not something
you should mention on the air.Copy !req
457. - Oh, God.
- Mr. Will McAvoy.Copy !req
458. You're not here to do my taxes,
right?Copy !req
459. My name's Lonny Church.Copy !req
460. Mr. Horn at AWM Security
told you I'd be here at this time.Copy !req
461. I'll tell you right now
I'm gonna hate this.Copy !req
462. I'll tell you now
I'm not gonna care.Copy !req
463. - Let's go in my office for a minute.
- Sure.Copy !req
464. It's not a real threat.Copy !req
465. I don't make that decision.Copy !req
466. Lonny Church?
Did you play college football?Copy !req
467. Yes, I did.
Defensive tackle.Copy !req
468. Started three years
for Clemson.Copy !req
469. - And then?
- Got drafted in the eighth round by the Bengals.Copy !req
470. - And then?
- Got cut five weeks into training camp.Copy !req
471. Excellent.Copy !req
472. Joined the Army, became an MP.Copy !req
473. - Where were you deployed?
- New Jersey.Copy !req
474. You see a lot of action
in New Jersey?Copy !req
475. See a lot of action
in your studio?Copy !req
476. I'll be doing the jokes, okay?Copy !req
477. - After you were discharged?
- Honorably.Copy !req
478. I joined Blue North Security.Copy !req
479. Who else's body
have you guarded?Copy !req
480. - We don't talk about that.
- Okay.Copy !req
481. Kanye.
It was awesome.Copy !req
482. Are you armed?Copy !req
483. I secure my weapon in a gun safe
when I come in the building.Copy !req
484. Keep it there.
I really don't want an armed guard.Copy !req
485. Maybe if you were drafted in
the first four rounds, I'd feel safer.Copy !req
486. - Mr. McAvoy.
- You can call me Will.Copy !req
487. Yeah, I was gonna
do that anyway.Copy !req
488. I know you're used
to being the boss.Copy !req
489. But you're not anymore.
At least for a little while.Copy !req
490. How long?Copy !req
491. Until my colleagues chase down
the source of the threatCopy !req
492. or, of course, if you've been
successfully assassinated.Copy !req
493. - A joke?
- What'd you think?Copy !req
494. It was all right.
How does this work?Copy !req
495. I pick you up at your home in the morning
and escort you to your office.Copy !req
496. Then I pick you up at your office at night
and escort you to your home.Copy !req
497. I'm with you any place
that's an unsecured area.Copy !req
498. What's an unsecured area?Copy !req
499. Anyplace that isn't
your home or your office.Copy !req
500. I'm single.
What about a date?Copy !req
501. I don't think we should
get romantically involved.Copy !req
502. You get one joke a day.Copy !req
503. - Come on in.
- I say that.Copy !req
504. - I'm sorry. You got a second?
- Yeah.Copy !req
505. I'll leave you.Copy !req
506. Sloan, this is Lonny.
You'll see him around.Copy !req
507. - Good to meet you.
- Wow.Copy !req
508. - Can I tap your chest?
- Sure.Copy !req
509. Holy cow.Copy !req
510. - Have you felt his pecs?
- No, I haven't yet.Copy !req
511. I'll be downstairs.Copy !req
512. So I'm hosting
Elliot's show tonight.Copy !req
513. I know. I'm the one
who suggested you.Copy !req
514. You really think I can do it?Copy !req
515. No, I have no idea.
So we're gonna find out.Copy !req
516. All right. Well, your exuberant
confidence notwithstanding,Copy !req
517. - I have the spokesperson—
- From TEPCO, I know.Copy !req
518. He just told me, off the record,
that reactor threeCopy !req
519. is causing what is a level seven,
not a level five radiation leak.Copy !req
520. What's the trick to getting him
to say it on the record?Copy !req
521. There is no trick.
You just don't stop until he tells the truth.Copy !req
522. What do you mean
you don't stop?Copy !req
523. I mean you don't stop.Copy !req
524. Sloan, I watch your show at 4:00
and you're brilliant.Copy !req
525. But you let guests say things
that I know you know aren't true.Copy !req
526. And then you just move on.
Ask the damn follow-upCopy !req
527. and then demonstrate with facts
how the guest is lying.Copy !req
528. You can't just sit there
and be a facilitatorCopy !req
529. for whatever bullshit the guest
wants to feed your viewers.Copy !req
530. They're not coming on to plug a movie.
It's not Jimmy Kimmel.Copy !req
531. You knowingly, passively,
allow someone to lie on your air,Copy !req
532. and maybe you're not a drug dealer,
but you're sure as hellCopy !req
533. the guy who drives the dealer
around in your car.Copy !req
534. So maybe you'll get it, maybe you won't.
Show me something.Copy !req
535. - Got it.
- Do you?Copy !req
536. Yeah.Copy !req
537. I just— I don't know.
I was in a bad mood.Copy !req
538. Honestly, I was just
trying to motivate her.Copy !req
539. She's the last person
who needs motivation,Copy !req
540. - so it just ended up...
- Scaring her.Copy !req
541. I hate that
people are scared of me.Copy !req
542. - I absolutely hate it.
- Why?Copy !req
543. Why do I hate when
people are scared of me?Copy !req
544. For the same reason
everybody does.Copy !req
545. Everybody doesn't.Copy !req
546. Some people like it.
Most people don't care.Copy !req
547. I don't know what to tell you.
I don't like it.Copy !req
548. And I'm pretty sure
I scared SloanCopy !req
549. because she's a veteran reporter
who's never done anything like what she did.Copy !req
550. What's the condition
of each reactor?Copy !req
551. - All six reactors are in stable condition.
- Great, let's wrap up.Copy !req
552. What about the partial
meltdown at reactor three?Copy !req
553. Wrap up for me.Copy !req
554. Excuse me,
that's not what I asked.Copy !req
555. I'm asking him specificallyCopy !req
556. about the core damage
at reactor three.Copy !req
557. What's happening?Copy !req
558. We know of no core damage
at any of the reactors.Copy !req
559. That's not what
Mr. Tanaka just said.Copy !req
560. He said our engineers can't
get close enough to confirm that.Copy !req
561. Please translate
exactly what I'm askingCopy !req
562. and exactly what
Mr. Tanaka is answering,Copy !req
563. including what I'm saying now,Copy !req
564. because I want him to be aware
that he's being misrepresented.Copy !req
565. Miss Sabbith, I am translating.
He is not being mis—Copy !req
566. Ask him if he believed the radiation levels
are going to a seven.Copy !req
567. Please, please, don't go rogue.Copy !req
568. The radiation
was categorized at level fourCopy !req
569. and then recategorized
at level five.Copy !req
570. And that's where
it should remain.Copy !req
571. Ma'am, he didn't say that's
where it should remain. You did.Copy !req
572. Furthermore, he told me—
You know what? I'm just gonna—Copy !req
573. Tanaka-san...Copy !req
574. And now we're doing
the broadcast in Japanese.Copy !req
575. We'll be right back after this.
Just say that.Copy !req
576. Say it in English.Copy !req
577. She just—
Put me back!Copy !req
578. Mr. Tanaka, your company had
this incident rated at level four,Copy !req
579. then adjusted to level five.Copy !req
580. How confident are you that
that'll be the highest level we see?Copy !req
581. At least we're back to English.Copy !req
582. At this point, we see no reasonCopy !req
583. that level will need
future escalation.Copy !req
584. Well, that's simply not what Mr. Tanaka
told me on the phone earlier today.Copy !req
585. - No, no.
- When I spoke with him earlier,Copy !req
586. he said there's enough evidence
to raise the level to seven.Copy !req
587. - Go back to Japanese.
- And now he's not saying it, so I am.Copy !req
588. - Oh, my God!
- So there it is.Copy !req
589. The Fukushima nuclear
power plant is sayingCopy !req
590. that the level four radiation leak
that was raised to level fiveCopy !req
591. has a chance at being
raised to level seven,Copy !req
592. which is the difference
between life and gruesome death.Copy !req
593. We'll be back after this
with Sarah Bernhardt.Copy !req
594. Sandra Bernhard, you idiot!Copy !req
595. Oh, what the hell
does it matter?Copy !req
596. - Okay...
- 'Sup?Copy !req
597. Okay, I know we were on
sketchy ground ethicallyCopy !req
598. and linguistically, but—Copy !req
599. Whatever you're gonna say,
save it for another 10 seconds.Copy !req
600. What happens in 10 seconds?Copy !req
601. Just hang on for another
five seconds and knowCopy !req
602. that we've all been there
at one point or another.Copy !req
603. What happens in five seconds?Copy !req
604. What in the name of holy fuck
were you thinking about?Copy !req
605. First, let me say that Don
was not responsible for that.Copy !req
606. Yeah, when you severed
communication with the EP,Copy !req
607. you pretty much absolved him
of responsibility.Copy !req
608. But that doesn't make the cut
of the top three calamitiesCopy !req
609. - that just occurred.
- Charlie—Copy !req
610. I, along with most people
who don't live in Japan,Copy !req
611. am not fluent in Japanese,
so I have to ask:Copy !req
612. Did you just make up statementsCopy !req
613. for somebody
we had live on our air?Copy !req
614. - I didn't make them up.
- About a deadly radiation leak?Copy !req
615. I didn't make them up.Copy !req
616. He told me the reactor
was going to a seven.Copy !req
617. When? Tonight?Copy !req
618. I'm asking honestly
because there was a portionCopy !req
619. of the broadcast that turned
into a Kurosawa movie.Copy !req
620. These things are measured
on a scale of zero to seven.Copy !req
621. Five is Three Mile Island,
a seven is Chernobyl.Copy !req
622. On air, did he say the reactors
were going to seven?Copy !req
623. He said it to me
in the preinterview.Copy !req
624. And then the company stuck
an interpreter next to him,Copy !req
625. and I think her job
was more than interpretingCopy !req
626. because she wasn't
accurately translating—Copy !req
627. We don't report
what you think, Sloan.Copy !req
628. The guy said
all six reactors are stable.Copy !req
629. The Japanese are
a deferential people.Copy !req
630. It's very hard for them to explain
when they've done something wrong.Copy !req
631. I don't give a shit,
Madame Butterfly!Copy !req
632. And right now the Japanese,Copy !req
633. who are reading an online report
of your report,Copy !req
634. are fleeing from
their fucking homes.Copy !req
635. Now tell me what he said
tonight on air.Copy !req
636. He said the reactors
were at five.Copy !req
637. But you said he said
they would move to seven.Copy !req
638. I made it clear he said that
during the preinterview.Copy !req
639. First of all,
let's not kid ourselves.Copy !req
640. There was nothing that was clear
about that interview.Copy !req
641. He said it to me, and he said it
to a conference room full of staffers.Copy !req
642. - The staffers weren't there.
- The staffers were not there.Copy !req
643. I sent them out so we could
speak privately and off—Copy !req
644. No, finish that sentence.Copy !req
645. Off the record.Copy !req
646. Good luck trying to get a source
to talk to you off the record again.Copy !req
647. You have no value to me
as a reporter now.Copy !req
648. - Charlie!
- And I have to suspend you.Copy !req
649. - Come on.
- What?Copy !req
650. I have to suspend you while
we bring in outside investigatorsCopy !req
651. to comb through every report
you've filed in the last two yearsCopy !req
652. to find out what other shit
you made up.Copy !req
653. I didn't make anything up.
I would never make anything up.Copy !req
654. I know that and you know that
and he knows that,Copy !req
655. but why the hell should
anyone else know that?Copy !req
656. You're suspended with pay
until I figure out—Copy !req
657. - They were lying about a public safety issue.
- You're suspended with pay—Copy !req
658. I don't want the goddamn pay!Copy !req
659. Don't front off with me, girl!Copy !req
660. - Don't call me girl, sir.
- Hey!Copy !req
661. Everybody calm the fuck down.Copy !req
662. Sarah Bernhardt
was a turn-of-the-centuryCopy !req
663. stage and film actress
from France.Copy !req
664. Sandra Bernhard is a...Copy !req
665. I don't know what the hell.Copy !req
666. There's no way she does that if
I hadn't given her my awesome pep talk.Copy !req
667. Are you close with Sloan?Copy !req
668. - Are we close?
- Yeah.Copy !req
669. - Why?
- Just asking.Copy !req
670. - You seem very protective.
- We didn't used to be.Copy !req
671. But she's become, I don't know.Copy !req
672. I don't know,
like a little sister to me or something.Copy !req
673. Your father was
an abusive alcoholic?Copy !req
674. What?Copy !req
675. Your father,
he was an abusive alcoholic?Copy !req
676. I didn't say that.Copy !req
677. But he was, right?Copy !req
678. You got that in the 40 minutesCopy !req
679. that I've been sitting here that
seem like a week and a half?Copy !req
680. It's in the notes my dad left.Copy !req
681. Can I have a prescription now?Copy !req
682. - He hit you?
- Come on.Copy !req
683. He hit you, right?Copy !req
684. How many times did you
see Good Will Hunting?Copy !req
685. - He hit you?
- Yes.Copy !req
686. - He hit your mother?
- Yes.Copy !req
687. You have a brother and two sisters.
He hit them, right?Copy !req
688. Look, he didn't hit anybody once
I was old enough to hit him back.Copy !req
689. And when was that?Copy !req
690. Will, how old were you
when you had to protectCopy !req
691. your mother, your brother,Copy !req
692. and your two little sistersCopy !req
693. from a grown man
who was drunk and violent?Copy !req
694. Fifth grade.Copy !req
695. I cracked a bottle of Dewar's
across his face.Copy !req
696. It's in your notes.
Why are you pursuing this line of—Copy !req
697. I'm not trying
to be an asshole.Copy !req
698. I just want a sleeping pill.Copy !req
699. I'm gonna give you one,
but I doubt it's gonna work.Copy !req
700. Let's give it a try.Copy !req
701. You've got another 15 minutes
on your session.Copy !req
702. I didn't come here
for a session.Copy !req
703. You could have gotten sleeping pills
from your internist.Copy !req
704. Shit, you could have
got them online.Copy !req
705. I didn't go to my internist
because he asks too many questions.Copy !req
706. You didn't go to your internist because
he doesn't ask you the right questions.Copy !req
707. I didn't come here
for a session.Copy !req
708. I think you did.Copy !req
709. I'm checking on
the opposition research.Copy !req
710. Maggie was detained by the policeCopy !req
711. for attempting to blow up
her parents' house.Copy !req
712. He's overstating it.Copy !req
713. My cousins and I wanted
to shoot guns at soda cans.Copy !req
714. Where did you place
the soda cans?Copy !req
715. - On top of the propane tanks.
- Which were in front of?Copy !req
716. The diesel fuel combine.
But I'm an excellent shot.Copy !req
717. The Deep South could have used you
when the Russians invaded.Copy !req
718. Will. How's the opposition
research on Will?Copy !req
719. He once needed lenses for driving,
then didn't.Copy !req
720. So he probably had Lasik surgery.Copy !req
721. He did.Copy !req
722. He registered for the New York Marathon,
but didn't finish.Copy !req
723. My fault.
I twisted my ankle at the starting line.Copy !req
724. He carried me to the first aid tent.
What else?Copy !req
725. - He was hospitalized with tuberculosis.
- Already knew that.Copy !req
726. He was credited
on a country album as a guitarist.Copy !req
727. He's an accomplished guitarist who
occasionally jams with Leonard Cohen.Copy !req
728. He got a C-minus
in Sociology of Emotion.Copy !req
729. It was a clerical mistake.
He never registered for the class.Copy !req
730. - Then a C-minus is pretty good.
- I need something I can use.Copy !req
731. Wait, are we trying to protect Will
or give you ammunition?Copy !req
732. Thought we could do both.Copy !req
733. He contributed $250 to
the failed primary campaignCopy !req
734. of a congressional candidate
in Nebraska.Copy !req
735. - While he was a journalist?
- No.Copy !req
736. Nothing I can do with that.Copy !req
737. I mean, they—
Nothing they can do with that.Copy !req
738. Oh, the candidate
was a Republican.Copy !req
739. - So's Will.
- What?Copy !req
740. He's a registered Republican.Copy !req
741. The four of you weren't
able to uncover that?Copy !req
742. We weren't looking.Copy !req
743. He was a speechwriter for Bush 41.
What did you think he was?Copy !req
744. I just thought he did that
as a public service.Copy !req
745. Or to mess with him
like in The Sting.Copy !req
746. That's nothing like what
happened in The Sting.Copy !req
747. Jim got kicked out of
his a study abroad semester.Copy !req
748. - He went to the Arctic Circle.
- I wanted to see the penguins.Copy !req
749. - Those are in the Antarctic.
- Lesson learned.Copy !req
750. Why'd you get kicked out?Copy !req
751. You're not allowed to
fraternize with the Inuit.Copy !req
752. He tried to score
with an Eskimo.Copy !req
753. I was just trying—Copy !req
754. I was just trying to get past
the disappointment with the penguins.Copy !req
755. All right, so there's nothing so far.Copy !req
756. Fox offered him
a ton of money in 2006Copy !req
757. to come to LA
and get into late-night.Copy !req
758. - A talk show?
- Yeah.Copy !req
759. He'd have been good at that.Copy !req
760. All right,
get back to the news.Copy !req
761. - Did you say 2006?
- Yeah.Copy !req
762. - How far did it get?
- A deal memo.Copy !req
763. - You sure?
- Yeah.Copy !req
764. All right.Copy !req
765. You know that this is stupid.Copy !req
766. Just go do your jobs.Copy !req
767. I've just heard
something I can't believe.Copy !req
768. Why don't you
attack this woman?Copy !req
769. She doesn't seem
that threatening to me.Copy !req
770. She's incredibly threatening.
My life is in constant danger when she's around.Copy !req
771. - I'm Lonny Church.
- Mackenzie McHale.Copy !req
772. - Attack!
- Nah.Copy !req
773. Look, I'll be here at 9:00
unless you're leaving the building.Copy !req
774. In which case, press pound five
on your phone and I'll be here.Copy !req
775. - Nice meeting you.
- Nice meeting you.Copy !req
776. Fox offered you
a late-night talk show.Copy !req
777. - Great, when do I start?
- Five years ago.Copy !req
778. They offered you the show
when we were together.Copy !req
779. It was gonna take you to LA
and it got as far as the deal memo.Copy !req
780. What is it you think
you've uncovered?Copy !req
781. This whole time you've enjoyed
making me feel guiltyCopy !req
782. for ruining the life
we would have had togetherCopy !req
783. when, in fact, you never had
any intention of marrying me.Copy !req
784. No intention of marrying me.Copy !req
785. I mean, you never
even mentioned it.Copy !req
786. You were just gonna go to LA
and leave a note?Copy !req
787. Let me tell you something,
the days of you being ableCopy !req
788. to lord my mistake over me
are behind us.Copy !req
789. I've lived a life
that is good and pure.Copy !req
790. You were deceiving me
while I was deceiving you.Copy !req
791. You never had any intention of—
What's this?Copy !req
792. I didn't tell you
about the Fox offerCopy !req
793. because it was never real.
I knew I was being used as leverage,Copy !req
794. and I didn't want
to be embarrassedCopy !req
795. in front of you
when it went away.Copy !req
796. I was still trying
to impress you.Copy !req
797. The ring was meant for me?Copy !req
798. But I've lived a life
that's good and pure.Copy !req
799. Except for...Copy !req
800. Cheating on you.Copy !req
801. - Could you speak up?
- Cheating on you.Copy !req
802. - Except for cheating on you!
- There it is.Copy !req
803. Okay. Well, then...
back to work.Copy !req
804. Yeah.Copy !req
805. Listen, when you do
propose to someone,Copy !req
806. that's the ring that'll do it.Copy !req
807. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
808. Yeah.Copy !req
809. So as soon as you heard
they were doing opposition research,Copy !req
810. you ran over to Tiffany
and bought the ring?Copy !req
811. That's insane.Copy !req
812. I had to send my agent or
it would have shown up in the papers.Copy !req
813. - Will.
- I'm gonna return it.Copy !req
814. Does that seem normal to you?Copy !req
815. The world is made up
of two kinds of people.Copy !req
816. The ones who think they're normal
and the ones who know there's no such thing.Copy !req
817. Great, you took one semester
of Intro to Adult Psych.Copy !req
818. But the world is made up of
a lot more than two kinds of people.Copy !req
819. And I was speaking in the
psychiatric sense of the word.Copy !req
820. - Does going out and buying a ring...
- Which I'm going to return.Copy !req
821. As a bizarre—
I don't know what to call it—Copy !req
822. seem normal to you?Copy !req
823. You weren't around
for the exposition.Copy !req
824. She had an affair
with her ex-boyfriend.Copy !req
825. For four months
while she was with me.Copy !req
826. - It's four years later.
- And you know why I don't talk about it?Copy !req
827. Because I'm tired of people telling me
it's a "just get over it" situation.Copy !req
828. Fuck you.
You don't know what it's like in my head.Copy !req
829. Sloan Sabbith.Copy !req
830. It's a Japanese news report
from a few hours ago.Copy !req
831. We know they're talking about you,
but we don't know what they're saying.Copy !req
832. "After releasing incorrect information
to the American journalist Sloan Sabbith"--Copy !req
833. That's a picture of Elliot and he didn't
release incorrect information. I did.Copy !req
834. And it wasn't incorrect.Copy !req
835. "After releasing incorrect information
to the American journalist Sloan Sabbith...Copy !req
836. TEPCO spokesman Daisuke Tanaka
has offered to resign today.Copy !req
837. He said, 'I apologize
to my company,Copy !req
838. my government,
and my country.'"Copy !req
839. Please, I have to fix this now.Copy !req
840. Help me.
I need wisdom.Copy !req
841. - I have wisdom.
- Kenzie, I love you,Copy !req
842. but a Japanese man's honor
is at stake,Copy !req
843. and sometimes your wisdom
leads to...Copy !req
844. like...Copy !req
845. - No, I get it.
- Yeah.Copy !req
846. Will?Copy !req
847. She'd just been suspended and
she's thinking about the other guy's job.Copy !req
848. Honor, actually,
is what she said.Copy !req
849. Meanwhile,
she's a punch line on the Internet.Copy !req
850. - And he's got students, too.
- Who?Copy !req
851. Sloan. She teaches
at Columbia twice a week.Copy !req
852. You said he.
He's got students.Copy !req
853. And you feel that's
a breakthrough moment?Copy !req
854. That my subconscious
revealed something?Copy !req
855. 'Cause I'll be honest. I'm pretty sure
the reason I said he instead of sheCopy !req
856. is that I've been awake
for a really long time now.Copy !req
857. But those comments
weren't on your site, right?Copy !req
858. No, because nobody's gonna say that
unless they're anonymous.Copy !req
859. And if you don't count the death threat,
it worked.Copy !req
860. It was bully kryptonite.
No more LollypopLollypop.Copy !req
861. - What did SurrendrDorothee mean when—
- Huh?Copy !req
862. The screen name
of the person—Copy !req
863. - It's what the—
- Yeah, the screen name of the person—Copy !req
864. - Yeah.
- On the last night you showed anonymous posts.Copy !req
865. It's what the witch
wrote in the sky—Copy !req
866. I'm not asking what
the screen name means.Copy !req
867. I'm asking what the person
that when he or she saidCopy !req
868. that your guest that night had
hit the Uncle Tom Daily Double.Copy !req
869. The guest he or she
was talking aboutCopy !req
870. was a man named Sutton Wall,Copy !req
871. who was the deputy chief of staff
to Rick Santorum,Copy !req
872. former senator for PennsylvaniaCopy !req
873. who just announced
his intention to runCopy !req
874. for President
of the United States.Copy !req
875. The list of
prospective candidatesCopy !req
876. for the Republican
nomination for presidentCopy !req
877. may yet include another name.Copy !req
878. Earlier this week,
former Pennsylvania senatorCopy !req
879. Rick Santorum convened
an exploratory committee...Copy !req
880. And Sutton Wall
is both black and gay.Copy !req
881. The senator is perhaps best known
for his full-throatedCopy !req
882. advocacy of social issues.Copy !req
883. Here to discuss how
those positions and othersCopy !req
884. may shape Mr. Santorum's
bid for the White HouseCopy !req
885. is his former deputy chief of staff
Sutton Wall,Copy !req
886. an adjunct professor of American Studies
at Temple University,Copy !req
887. who will be serving as an advisor
to the campaign throughout this process.Copy !req
888. He teaches at Temple?Copy !req
889. Yeah.Copy !req
890. So he has students?Copy !req
891. Yes, he has students.Copy !req
892. And LollypopLollypop
said you almost made him cry.Copy !req
893. That— That was absolutely
not my intention.Copy !req
894. Well, you're hardwired
to hate bullies.Copy !req
895. Like the way comic book heroesCopy !req
896. are born out of
a childhood trauma.Copy !req
897. Santorum was the bully
in that situation.Copy !req
898. Speaking to the
New York Times in May 2005,Copy !req
899. Senator Santorum said,
"Gay marriage threatens my marriage.Copy !req
900. It threatens all marriages.Copy !req
901. It threatens the traditional
values of this country."Copy !req
902. Mr. Wall, how does gay marriage
threaten Mr. Santorum's marriage?Copy !req
903. The senator believes
that marriage is definedCopy !req
904. as the union of one man
and one woman.Copy !req
905. I understand that's what
the former senator believes,Copy !req
906. but what he said was that gay marriage
threatens his marriage and all marriages.Copy !req
907. And I'm asking you exactly
how it's a threat.Copy !req
908. Sanctity of life
is the number one issueCopy !req
909. with Rick Santorum,
and he believes—Copy !req
910. Mr. Wall, we'll get to purposely vague words
like sanctity in a moment.Copy !req
911. But I'd like you to try
to answer the question.Copy !req
912. How is Mr. Santorum's marriage
threatenedCopy !req
913. by the gay couple two houses down
also being married?Copy !req
914. Will, I was proud to serve
on the senator's staff,Copy !req
915. and I'll be proud to serve and support him
should he choose to run for president.Copy !req
916. But that doesn't mean
I necessarily agree with himCopy !req
917. on every single issue.Copy !req
918. Gay marriage is now legal
in five statesCopy !req
919. as well as
the District of Columbia.Copy !req
920. Has Mr. Santorum's marriage
been suffering as a result?Copy !req
921. Has he complained to you
that he and Mrs. SantorumCopy !req
922. seem to be fighting more
or talking less?Copy !req
923. - Of course not.
- Has there been any infidelityCopy !req
924. in the last seven years or
an inability to relate to their childrenCopy !req
925. as a result of five states
legalizing same-sex marriage?Copy !req
926. This is a preposterous
line of questioning, sir.Copy !req
927. I'm afraid it has to be, sir,
because it's a preposterous assertion.Copy !req
928. Now, are you able
to name one wayCopy !req
929. in which Mr. Santorum's marriage
to Mrs. SantorumCopy !req
930. is threatened by gay couples
also having the right to marry?Copy !req
931. I—Copy !req
932. - I am not able to name a way.
- Thank you.Copy !req
933. I could have just
stopped it there.Copy !req
934. Does it bother you that
Mr. Santorum thinksCopy !req
935. there's something wrong with you
that should be fixed?Copy !req
936. Hang on, because I am sick
and tired of these attacks,Copy !req
937. these wrongheaded attacks against a great man
and a great public servant.Copy !req
938. Reasonable people can disagree
about how great a manCopy !req
939. or how great a public
servant Rick Santorum is,Copy !req
940. but they can't disagree about
the fact that he thinksCopy !req
941. you're a sick deviant who's threatening
the fabric of society.Copy !req
942. I have known this man
for almost a decade,Copy !req
943. and I can tell you that he has treated me
with nothing but respect.Copy !req
944. This is Senator Santorum
speaking to Fox News.Copy !req
945. - Easy does it, Will.
- No, we're gonna do this thing.Copy !req
946. That this is the equivalent,Copy !req
947. that being black and being gay
is the same is simply not true.Copy !req
948. There are all sorts
of studies out thereCopy !req
949. that suggest just the contrary,Copy !req
950. and there are people who were gay
and lived a gay lifestyleCopy !req
951. and aren't anymore.
I don't know if that's the similar situation.Copy !req
952. I don't think that's the case
with anybody that's black.Copy !req
953. Mr. Santorum is forgiving you
for being blackCopy !req
954. because there's nothing
you can do about that.Copy !req
955. But you don't have to be gay.Copy !req
956. I will say it again.
Mr. Santorum is a great manCopy !req
957. who would make
a great president.Copy !req
958. He has never treated me
with anything but the utmost respect.Copy !req
959. Except for finding
you disgusting.Copy !req
960. - That is a lie.
- Will, don't—Copy !req
961. Has Rick Santorum on
the floor of the US SenateCopy !req
962. compared homosexuality
to incest and bestiality?Copy !req
963. Those remarks have been taken
out of context over the years—Copy !req
964. Feel free to put the remarks
in the proper context.Copy !req
965. He makes a clear distinction between
homosexuality and homosexual acts.Copy !req
966. So he only finds you disgusting
when you act like a homosexual?Copy !req
967. - He doesn't find me disgusting.
- Yes, he does.Copy !req
968. And he also thinks
you're less than a man.Copy !req
969. - No, he certainly does not.
- Come on.Copy !req
970. Our Declaration
contains the wordsCopy !req
971. "We hold these truths
to be self-evidentCopy !req
972. that all men are created equal."Copy !req
973. In order to arrive at the conclusion
that homosexual loveCopy !req
974. is something less than
heterosexual love,Copy !req
975. you have to begin
with the premiseCopy !req
976. that a homosexual is something
less than a man. That's inescapable.Copy !req
977. And so I'm asking you
to explain to meCopy !req
978. why you would work for a man
who believes that you're inferior?Copy !req
979. - That you're damaged. That you're ill.
- Stop hitting him.Copy !req
980. Unnatural.
A threat to children.Copy !req
981. Unfit to serve in the military.Copy !req
982. Unfit to be a parent.
And unloved by God.Copy !req
983. - I'm asking you, sir—
- Stop! Just stop!Copy !req
984. I believe in the sanctity of life.Copy !req
985. And if that word is too vague for you,
then look it up.Copy !req
986. I support the senator because
of all the candidates in the field,Copy !req
987. I believe he is
the only one whose passionCopy !req
988. on the issue of abortion
equals my own.Copy !req
989. And I believe he has the skills
to make a fantastic president.Copy !req
990. I am not talking—
That's not—Copy !req
991. You will not interrupt
me again, sir!Copy !req
992. I am more than one thing.Copy !req
993. How dare you reduce me
to the color of my skinCopy !req
994. or my sexual orientation?Copy !req
995. There are people
who look just like me,Copy !req
996. thousands and thousands
who died for the freedomCopy !req
997. to define their own lives
for themselves.Copy !req
998. How dare you presume to decide
what I should think is important?Copy !req
999. Yes, when it comes to equality
for the gay community,Copy !req
1000. Senator Santorum is wrong.Copy !req
1001. But I am far more insulted
by your high-handed implicationCopy !req
1002. - that I need your protection.
- Sir, I—Copy !req
1003. Shut up!
I'll let you know when I'm finished.Copy !req
1004. I came on this program
because Rick SantorumCopy !req
1005. believes that the right
to kill an unborn childCopy !req
1006. is not inalienable.Copy !req
1007. And I stand with Rick Santorum.Copy !req
1008. And I stand with
the Catholic Church.Copy !req
1009. I am not defined by
my blackness.Copy !req
1010. I am not defined by my gayness.Copy !req
1011. And if that doesn't fit
your narrow-minded expectationCopy !req
1012. of who I'm supposed to be,
I don't give a damnCopy !req
1013. because I'm not defined
by you either.Copy !req
1014. So get this through your head.Copy !req
1015. I don't need your help.Copy !req
1016. Mr. Wall?Copy !req
1017. Does Mr. Santorum
think you're fit to be a teacher?Copy !req
1018. No.Copy !req
1019. We'll be back after this.Copy !req
1020. He has students.Copy !req
1021. And parents.Copy !req
1022. And friends.Copy !req
1023. And colleagues.
And strangers.Copy !req
1024. I was the bully.Copy !req
1025. I was the bully.Copy !req
1026. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
1027. You've got to give me credit for uniting
the far right, the gay community,Copy !req
1028. and blacks
in their dislike of me.Copy !req
1029. The Internet exploded.Copy !req
1030. Everybody thought
I'd become unhinged.Copy !req
1031. It sort of brought
back this thingCopy !req
1032. that happened about
a year ago at Northwestern.Copy !req
1033. When you yelled at a student.Copy !req
1034. I scared her.Copy !req
1035. All right.Copy !req
1036. All right.Copy !req
1037. That's News Night.
Thanks for washing us— Watching us.Copy !req
1038. - Let me get out of here.
- End the broadcast.Copy !req
1039. - I'm Will McAvoy.
- Attaboy.Copy !req
1040. Terry Smith is coming up, mercifully,
with the Capitol Report from Washington.Copy !req
1041. Good night.Copy !req
1042. If you're here to make me feel better,
it's not necessary.Copy !req
1043. You think I'm here
to make you feel better?Copy !req
1044. The story is right.
In this one case,Copy !req
1045. I don't give a damn about on the record,
off the record.Copy !req
1046. - And no one in Fukushima does either.
- I do.Copy !req
1047. The story is right.Copy !req
1048. - His spokesman denied it on the air.
- He said it to me.Copy !req
1049. And you got proof of that
I can bounce off our satellite?Copy !req
1050. - No.
- Is Maggie into Jim?Copy !req
1051. For Christ's sake,
we're talking about radia— What?Copy !req
1052. Am I losing Maggie?Copy !req
1053. No.Copy !req
1054. Are you good
at knowing these things?Copy !req
1055. No.Copy !req
1056. Make sure he's at Dr. Habib's office
at 10:00 tomorrow.Copy !req
1057. When are you and me
gonna get busy, huh?Copy !req
1058. I'm flattered,
but you'd crush me.Copy !req
1059. That's true.
That's happened before.Copy !req
1060. Dress up like a tailback and he
won't be able to lay a hand on you.Copy !req
1061. Shrimp boat, if I wasn't
being paid to keep you alive...Copy !req
1062. - Let's go.
- Hey, girl!Copy !req
1063. Do you really have
to call her that?Copy !req
1064. She's packing up her office.Copy !req
1065. She's gonna unpack her office
'cause I figured a way out.Copy !req
1066. What?Copy !req
1067. The Japanese words
for four and seven sound alike.Copy !req
1068. - Hey, girl!
- Yes?Copy !req
1069. Come on down.Copy !req
1070. I am here.Copy !req
1071. What's the Japanese
word for four?Copy !req
1072. Shi.Copy !req
1073. What's the Japanese
word for seven?Copy !req
1074. - Shichi.
- Those words are easy to mix up.Copy !req
1075. - No, they're not.
- Yes, they are.Copy !req
1076. Not for someone
who's fluent in Japanese.Copy !req
1077. - You're not fluent in Japanese.
- Yes, I am.Copy !req
1078. No, you're not.
That's how you mixed up the numbersCopy !req
1079. when you were talking to
Tanaka in the preinterview.Copy !req
1080. No, it's for exactly
that reasonCopy !req
1081. that there are two words for four
and two words for seven.Copy !req
1082. Yon and nana.
And it went from a four to a five to a seven.Copy !req
1083. That sounds very complicated.Copy !req
1084. Not if you're fluent
in Japanese.Copy !req
1085. You're not anymore.Copy !req
1086. You're gonna go on TV tonightCopy !req
1087. during Elliot's show,Copy !req
1088. which I pray to God
Elliot is hosting.Copy !req
1089. - He is.
- And you're going to apologize and explain your error.Copy !req
1090. In exchange,
Daisuke Tanaka is going to sayCopy !req
1091. that you made it clear
that you were on the recordCopy !req
1092. and he doesn't have to resign
and you don't have to be suspended.Copy !req
1093. We're all just going to lie
and I'm going to look stupid.Copy !req
1094. - You bet. One more thing.
- What?Copy !req
1095. Fukushima's announcing
the radiation levels are a seven.Copy !req
1096. Thank you.Copy !req
1097. I don't know what the hell
you're thanking me for.Copy !req
1098. Well, it takes a big man
to admit he was wrong.Copy !req
1099. That isn't even remotely
what I am doing.Copy !req
1100. Hang on, she's got to go on the air
and say she made a mistake,Copy !req
1101. that her Japanese is poor—Copy !req
1102. - Which it certainly is not.
- Just— God.Copy !req
1103. She's gonna go on the air
and say she thought it was a sevenCopy !req
1104. when it's really a four
that then moved up to a fiveCopy !req
1105. and she's really sorry,
but also now it's really a seven?Copy !req
1106. It won't be our proudest moment,
but it'll save the guy's job.Copy !req
1107. Save his honor.Copy !req
1108. Help very slightly with our increasingly
dinged-up reputation,Copy !req
1109. and it'll help the girl
who we will now go backCopy !req
1110. to addressing as Sloan
or Miss Sabbith.Copy !req
1111. Will.Copy !req
1112. You want me to lie?Copy !req
1113. On television?Copy !req
1114. From a news desk
with the ACN bug in the corner?Copy !req
1115. I do.Copy !req
1116. And if there's any fallout,Copy !req
1117. I'll be standing
right next to you and in front.Copy !req
1118. I'll always be standing
right next to you and in front.Copy !req
1119. We fucked up.Copy !req
1120. Let's just live with that now.Copy !req
1121. We lied on television
from the news desk.Copy !req
1122. It was a pretty harmless lie,
wasn't it?Copy !req
1123. You know how many air hours
I've spent railing against lying?Copy !req
1124. Calling people out on it?Copy !req
1125. We're the news and we're all gonna know
we lied for the rest of our lives.Copy !req
1126. All right, so it turns out
you know what you're doing.Copy !req
1127. So I'm sorry I've been a jerk.Copy !req
1128. Obviously the reason I can't sleep
is the Santorum aide.Copy !req
1129. And I haven't talked to anyone about it,
so I was trying—Copy !req
1130. - Bacon.
- What?Copy !req
1131. The bacon, egg,
and cheese sandwiches.Copy !req
1132. Bacon has tyramine, which increases
the release of norepinephrine,Copy !req
1133. - which is a neurostimulant.
- When did you figure that out?Copy !req
1134. When you said you made bacon,
egg, and cheese sandwiches.Copy !req
1135. - That was like an hour ago!
- Yeah.Copy !req
1136. Will, listen, and I'm going to write
you a mild prescription,Copy !req
1137. but you should come back.Copy !req
1138. If you don't like me,
see someone else.Copy !req
1139. But see someone.
You've had a lot going on for a long time.Copy !req
1140. Very serious stuff.
And, by the way,Copy !req
1141. you should be at an Al-Anon meeting
at least once a week.Copy !req
1142. You have a lot going on now.Copy !req
1143. You're being hunted.Copy !req
1144. In the press,Copy !req
1145. on the Internet,Copy !req
1146. very possibly literally.Copy !req
1147. This whole file here
from four years ago,Copy !req
1148. every page is about Mackenzie.Copy !req
1149. In these notes
are a lot of evidenceCopy !req
1150. that you're experiencing
acute depressionCopy !req
1151. and doing a masterful job
covering it.Copy !req
1152. That's done.Copy !req
1153. Buying the ring
was not normal.Copy !req
1154. I don't know what else to call it.
It wasn't normal.Copy !req
1155. It really doesn't take a team
of Viennese specialistsCopy !req
1156. to see that you have unresolved issues
with Mackenzie.Copy !req
1157. No, my feelings
are completely resolved.Copy !req
1158. She's a good friend
and my most trusted partner.Copy !req
1159. The ring was just a prank.Copy !req
1160. I know what you think
of all this.Copy !req
1161. But I would really urge youCopy !req
1162. to spend an hour a week
faking it.Copy !req
1163. That's it.
Our time's up.Copy !req