1. $223 billion,Copy !req
2. putting an edge on
the current fight on Capitol HillCopy !req
3. about how deeply to cut
this year's spending,Copy !req
4. along with projections that it
would bring the debt ceiling...Copy !req
5. Excuse me.
The deficit to $1.6 trillion,Copy !req
6. ensuring that the debt ceiling will
be hit during this fiscal year.Copy !req
7. That's News Night.
Thanks for washing us...Copy !req
8. Watching us.
Let me get out of here.Copy !req
9. Will McAvoy is coming up with
The Capitol Report from Washington.Copy !req
10. I'm Terry... No.Copy !req
11. Wow.
- That's not true.Copy !req
12. End the broadcast.Copy !req
13. - I'm Will McAvoy.
- AttaboyCopy !req
14. Terry Smith is coming up, mercifully,
with The Capitol Report from Washington.Copy !req
15. - Good night.Copy !req
16. - What is wrong with you?
- I'm fine.Copy !req
17. "Thank you for washing us"?Copy !req
18. Think people noticed?Copy !req
19. I do.Copy !req
20. Stand here on this spot.Copy !req
21. - What are you doing?
- Administering an eye exam.Copy !req
22. - Excellent.
- Read the top line.Copy !req
23. - E.
- Next line.Copy !req
24. I don't know why
people think there's a problemCopy !req
25. with health care in this country.Copy !req
26. - Our current system is fine.
- Next line.Copy !req
27. L-G. The next line, R-T-Z.Copy !req
28. The Greek letter for pi, then
geometric symbol for congruent,Copy !req
29. and something off
the table of natural elements.Copy !req
30. Great, put your tie back on
and get in the studioCopy !req
31. so we can retape that
for the West Coast.Copy !req
32. What's the problem?Copy !req
33. I didn't get much sleep last night.Copy !req
34. - How much is not much?
- None.Copy !req
35. Seriously?Copy !req
36. I went to bed at midnight,
didn't fall asleep.Copy !req
37. Is this the first
time that's happened?Copy !req
38. - No.
- Is it the second time?Copy !req
39. I'm having a little
bout with insomnia.Copy !req
40. Have you tried Ambien?Copy !req
41. I don't wanna wake up in the
middle of the Triborough BridgeCopy !req
42. eating scrambled
eggs in my pajamas.Copy !req
43. How those eggs
got into my pajamas I'll never know.Copy !req
44. You shouldn't do Groucho.Copy !req
45. But seriously, you need to sleepCopy !req
46. or you're gonna forget to
thank people for washing us.Copy !req
47. I'm seeing my guy
tomorrow at 10:00.Copy !req
48. - Who's your guy?
- Abe.Copy !req
49. - Who's Abe?
- Dr. Habib.Copy !req
50. You're still seeing Abe?Copy !req
51. That's wonderful, Will.
Everyone could use a little therapy.Copy !req
52. And you a lot more than most.
I'm glad you're doing that.Copy !req
53. Well...Copy !req
54. You've been skipping appointments?Copy !req
55. - Sometimes.
- When was the last time you saw him?Copy !req
56. - What's today, the 12th?
- Yeah.Copy !req
57. - About four years ago.
- Why did you stop seeing him?Copy !req
58. - I've kept the appointments.
- What does that mean?Copy !req
59. I have an appointment
every Wednesday at 10:00.Copy !req
60. - I just don't go.
- You've been paying him for four years?Copy !req
61. - Don't be ridiculous.
- Thank God.Copy !req
62. I have a business
manager who does that.Copy !req
63. Why don't you read a magazine?Copy !req
64. No, I've already read that issue
of Cat Fancy cover to coverCopy !req
65. and I'm saving American Stamp
Collector for a long plane ride.Copy !req
66. All right.Copy !req
67. Why not just go to
your regular doctor?Copy !req
68. When I go to my internist,
he asks me questions.Copy !req
69. It's a half-hour interview
before he puts on a stethoscope.Copy !req
70. - What kinds of questions?
- I don't know.Copy !req
71. "How you feeling"?Copy !req
72. Asshole.Copy !req
73. Here, read Vegan Health.Copy !req
74. - Will?
- Yeah.Copy !req
75. I'm Jack Habib. Come on in.Copy !req
76. - Are you Abe's son?
- I am.Copy !req
77. Nice to meet you.Copy !req
78. - You, too. Come on in.
- Is your dad inside?Copy !req
79. No.Copy !req
80. I can wait out here.Copy !req
81. My father died two years agoCopy !req
82. and I took his practice.
Come on in.Copy !req
83. I'm sorry to hear that.Copy !req
84. Wait, what?Copy !req
85. Will, I'm Dr. Jacob Habib,Copy !req
86. son of Dr. Abraham Habib.Copy !req
87. My father passed away
and his patients now see me.Copy !req
88. You've been paying
me for two years.Copy !req
89. Come on in.Copy !req
90. How old are you?Copy !req
91. I'm 29.Copy !req
92. - Shut up. Can you write prescriptions?Copy !req
93. Yeah. Let's go.Copy !req
94. I'll be two minutes.Copy !req
95. So if you're 29...Copy !req
96. Don't try to count backwards.Copy !req
97. I did everything early.
So unless you're certainCopy !req
98. you've got a Doogie Howser
joke I haven't heard,Copy !req
99. why don't we just assume it
was hilarious and move on?Copy !req
100. - Okay.
- So what's going on?Copy !req
101. I need something to help me sleep.Copy !req
102. - Why?
- I can't sleep.Copy !req
103. - Why?
- I don't know.Copy !req
104. Any recent change in diet?Copy !req
105. I haven't changed my
diet since college.Copy !req
106. - You should.
- I invented a new sandwich.Copy !req
107. Scrambled eggs, bacon,
and melted cheese on toast.Copy !req
108. I make two of them every night
before I get into bed.Copy !req
109. You invented an Egg McMuffin.Copy !req
110. Getting enough exercise?Copy !req
111. I have to scramble the eggs.Copy !req
112. And other than that?Copy !req
113. No. Look, any kind of
sleeping pill will do.Copy !req
114. Sure.Copy !req
115. - Just talk a little bit?
- Oh, God, please, let's not.Copy !req
116. - You're still taking Effexor?
- No.Copy !req
117. - Clonazepam?
- No.Copy !req
118. - Ativan?
- No.Copy !req
119. Four years ago, you were
on 135mg of EffexorCopy !req
120. plus Clonazepam and
Ativan at bedtime.Copy !req
121. I'm not anymore.Copy !req
122. - Why is that?
- I was cured.Copy !req
123. These are all antianxiety
medications.Copy !req
124. And I have no more anxiety.Copy !req
125. Except for not being able to sleep.Copy !req
126. Right, so if you'll just
give me a prescription for...Copy !req
127. Yeah, I'm going to.Copy !req
128. - Just a few more questions.
- Okay.Copy !req
129. Any extra stress at work?Copy !req
130. Extra stress?Copy !req
131. - Yeah.
- No.Copy !req
132. - No extra stress?
- No.Copy !req
133. - One more question.
- Sure.Copy !req
134. What are you fucking
around with me for?Copy !req
135. - I'm sorry?
- What are you fucking around with me for?Copy !req
136. I just asked if there's
any extra stress at work,Copy !req
137. - and you say...
- There isn't.Copy !req
138. There isn't.Copy !req
139. - What about the death threat?
- You know about that?Copy !req
140. Anyone who reads a newspaper
knows about that.Copy !req
141. - It's truly not a big deal.
- No?Copy !req
142. Jack, can I get the prescription?Copy !req
143. Just tell me how a death threat
isn't a big deal.Copy !req
144. I used to be a criminal prosecutor.Copy !req
145. And I'm telling you nobody who's
serious about killing youCopy !req
146. sends you a note
beforehand to warn you.Copy !req
147. The gentleman who is with you
in the waiting room,Copy !req
148. he's a bodyguard, right?Copy !req
149. Yeah, but you shouldn't...
That's the...Copy !req
150. Our insurance company
makes that decision.Copy !req
151. Based on what?Copy !req
152. They have experts who determine
whether a cret is threadible...Copy !req
153. Threat is credible.Copy !req
154. And why do they think
the threat is credible?Copy !req
155. Nine questions ago,
you said one more question.Copy !req
156. Why do they think the
threat is credible?Copy !req
157. Because I changed the rules of the
comment section of our website.Copy !req
158. That's all. I changed the
rules of the comment section.Copy !req
159. As always, or at
least since Monday,Copy !req
160. we end our show with your own
viewer comments on our website.Copy !req
161. So let's see what we have tonight.Copy !req
162. LollypopLollypop says,
"30 more secondsCopy !req
163. "and you would have had that
self-loathing hypocrite in tears."Copy !req
164. That... That was absolutely
not my intention.Copy !req
165. SurrendrDorothee said,
"Your Log Cabin closet caseCopy !req
166. "hit the Uncle Tom Daily Double,Copy !req
167. "a traitor to his race and a traitor
to his sexual orientation."Copy !req
168. Don't blow a gasket.Copy !req
169. He's plainly not a closet case.
He's openly gay.Copy !req
170. I also think he showed a lot
of courage coming on the show.Copy !req
171. Certainly more courage than it takes to
post an anonymous comment on a website.Copy !req
172. Terry Smith's coming up from
Washington with The Capitol Report.Copy !req
173. I'm Will McAvoy. Good night.Copy !req
174. We're out.Copy !req
175. - Neal!
- Believe me, those were the best two we had.Copy !req
176. Why didn't we just
hit him in the head with a shovel?Copy !req
177. - We've got to talk about what just happened.
- I'm trying to.Copy !req
178. Not the website. We've gotta talk
about what happened on the air.Copy !req
179. - I don't wanna talk.
- Were you outside your body?Copy !req
180. I don't want to talk about it.Copy !req
181. - I want to talk about the website.
- The website's not the problem right now.Copy !req
182. It's my problem right now.
We're putting up these comments...Copy !req
183. - We've heard this before.
- But we're still doing it.Copy !req
184. It's a trade with Reese. The page
views offset the ratings drop.Copy !req
185. Is there any way of knowing if
LollypopLollypop is 10 years old?Copy !req
186. Or a basset hound?Copy !req
187. The reason basset hounds
have such long earsCopy !req
188. is so they can waft up the scent
when they're hunting.Copy !req
189. - Is there any way of knowing?
- No.Copy !req
190. Is there any way of knowing
if LollypopLollypopCopy !req
191. - and SurrendrDorothee are the same person?
- No.Copy !req
192. Who posts comments on
the Internet more,Copy !req
193. people who are content
or people who are incontent?Copy !req
194. Discontent.
- What?Copy !req
195. It's discontent, not incontent.Copy !req
196. - It's about 30-to-1 incontent.
- Discontent.Copy !req
197. Final question.
In your wildest dreams,Copy !req
198. can you imagine Walter Cronkite
saying "LollypopLollypop"Copy !req
199. as many times as I have
in the last 10 minutes?Copy !req
200. Not unless he was in
an a cappella doo-wop group, no.Copy !req
201. He wasn't. Here's what I'd love.Copy !req
202. You want to join the
discussion, fine.Copy !req
203. I want to know your
name, age, occupation,Copy !req
204. - and level of education.
- Oh, God.Copy !req
205. The thing about the Internet
is it's a populist tool.Copy !req
206. Populists have names, too.
William Jennings Bryan, Will Rogers, me.Copy !req
207. - Will.
- Unless you're Deep ThroatCopy !req
208. or in the Witness Protection
Program, anonymity is cowardice.Copy !req
209. You're in a mob. You're lobbing
smack from the cheap seats.Copy !req
210. Don't we have bigger
fish to fry than the...Copy !req
211. Yes, but we can fry
more than one fish at a time.Copy !req
212. And how could we possibly
verify someone's name,Copy !req
213. - age, occupation, and level of education?
- Neal?Copy !req
214. We implement
a third-party verification service.Copy !req
215. All you had to say was, "We can't,"Copy !req
216. - and the conversation would have been over.
- So it is possible?Copy !req
217. It's what the IRS uses
when you're filing online.Copy !req
218. Talk to me, Tonto.Copy !req
219. - I can do it if you want.
- I want.Copy !req
220. Won't the result be that nobody posts
comments on our website anymore?Copy !req
221. First of all, oh no. What will we do
without feedback from SurrendrDorothee?Copy !req
222. And second, the result will be our website
will ghettoize every other website.Copy !req
223. The result will be civility
in the public squareCopy !req
224. and a triumph of populism.Copy !req
225. I'm going to single-handedly
fix the Internet.Copy !req
226. - What could possibly go wrong?
Will!Copy !req
227. - What?
- We have to talk about what just happened.Copy !req
228. No, we don't.
We're just gonna move on.Copy !req
229. And when did you get
the death threat?Copy !req
230. I don't know.
A day after the mosque interview.Copy !req
231. We know that an Islamic
trend is to build large mosquesCopy !req
232. on the cherished sites
of conquered lands.Copy !req
233. - You're talking about Cordoba.
- That's exactly right.Copy !req
234. When Muslims conquered Cordoba,
Spain, they tore down churchesCopy !req
235. and synagogues
and put mosques in their place.Copy !req
236. Ms. Greer, Muslims conquered
Cordoba in the year 712.Copy !req
237. Do you think we can call something that
last happened in the 8th century a trend?Copy !req
238. She'll say, "Why does it
have to be at Ground Zero?"Copy !req
239. Anyone being honest about
the prospect of a mosqueCopy !req
240. being built so close to Ground Zero
would say it instinctually feels wrong.Copy !req
241. Is it legal?
Of course it is.Copy !req
242. Is it wrong?
Of course it is.Copy !req
243. It should be built somewhere
where the 9/11 familiesCopy !req
244. don't have to feel the agony of having a
shrine to their loved ones stomped upon.Copy !req
245. All over America we're seeing the
influence of creeping Islam.Copy !req
246. We are?Copy !req
247. What about those
who would impose Sharia law?Copy !req
248. Women can be stoned to death
for committing adultery.Copy !req
249. No, they can't.Copy !req
250. Actual laws are the only laws
that are enforceable,Copy !req
251. including the one that says
you can't create religious laws.Copy !req
252. And the US is in no more danger
of coming under Sharia lawCopy !req
253. than it is the rules of Fight Club.Copy !req
254. Let me ask you something.Copy !req
255. Muslims the world over are fighting a civil
war over the direction Islam is taking.Copy !req
256. Are you going to be stationed
at the door of that mosqueCopy !req
257. to turn radicals away?Copy !req
258. Can you guarantee
that the current imamCopy !req
259. is going to be the same
imam 10 years from now?Copy !req
260. It's worth pointing out that it's not a mosque.
It's a community center.Copy !req
261. I'm not sure why you think
that makes it better.Copy !req
262. What business does a community center
have in the religion business?Copy !req
263. And then pivot to the larger point.Copy !req
264. I want the art and graphics
reviewed three times before air.Copy !req
265. Ms. Greer, you
mentioned creeping Islam.Copy !req
266. Are you concerned about
creeping Christianity?Copy !req
267. Only that it's
not creeping fast enough.Copy !req
268. Okay, here are some
things done on American soilCopy !req
269. in the name of Christianity.Copy !req
270. The Ku Klux Klan burned
down black churches,Copy !req
271. raped women, murdered civil rights
workers, murdered children,Copy !req
272. and terrorized communities
for over a century.Copy !req
273. The neo-Nazis all acted and continue to act
in the name of white Christian supremacy.Copy !req
274. The Army of God
fatally attacks abortion clinicsCopy !req
275. and doctors across the country.Copy !req
276. The Covenant, The Sword,
and The Arm of the LordCopy !req
277. targets local police
and federal agents.Copy !req
278. The federal building
in Oklahoma City,Copy !req
279. the attempted assassination
of Ronald Reagan,Copy !req
280. and the successful assassinations
of Martin Luther King,Copy !req
281. John F. Kennedy,Copy !req
282. John Lennon,Copy !req
283. and Abraham Lincoln,Copy !req
284. all perpetrated by Christians.Copy !req
285. Ms. Greer, we weren't attacked by Muslims.
We were attacked by sociopaths.Copy !req
286. And I, for one, would join you in protesting a
community center for the criminally insane.Copy !req
287. But no one is suggesting
building one.Copy !req
288. Here's the thing
about the Japanese.Copy !req
289. Where we tend to hype things up,
they go the other direction.Copy !req
290. You think they're
lowballing Fukushima?Copy !req
291. I don't know anything
about nuclear reactors,Copy !req
292. and I'm not at all
involved in this story.Copy !req
293. I'm just saying I wouldn't take their
word for it it's a level five.Copy !req
294. Excuse me, Will. There's a comment
on your website you need to see.Copy !req
295. Now I get to say who is it from?
What do they do?Copy !req
296. It's serious.Copy !req
297. From about 25 minutes ago.Copy !req
298. "Fucking sand niggers
should get herded and slaughtered.Copy !req
299. "I've got a bullet for you, too.
You think I'm fucking around?Copy !req
300. "2 Hudson Street, 27."Copy !req
301. - Is 2 Hudson 27...
- It's my address and apartment number.Copy !req
302. Alice Cynkar, an English
professor at OSU.Copy !req
303. It wasn't written by
an English professor,Copy !req
304. and it wasn't written
by Alice Cynkar.Copy !req
305. How much effort does it take
to scam the new system?Copy !req
306. You've got to want it pretty bad.Copy !req
307. Millie, it's MacKenzie.Copy !req
308. Would you tell him we're
coming right up, please?Copy !req
309. They could have
stolen her password.Copy !req
310. - How hard is that?
- Hard.Copy !req
311. We implemented complex
password requirements on the siteCopy !req
312. because we knew it was catnip
for some sophomore at MIT.Copy !req
313. It would take an average computer
57 days to get in.Copy !req
314. And that's with someone
who knows what they're doing.Copy !req
315. How many days has the
new system been up?Copy !req
316. - Three.
- Jesus.Copy !req
317. - Will...
- Everybody relax.Copy !req
318. Neal just said it.
It's a college kid pledging a frat.Copy !req
319. With a death threat? No.Copy !req
320. Charlie, I want a body on him
until this guy's in handcuffs.Copy !req
321. - No way.
You're not gonna have a choice.Copy !req
322. - The insurance company makes that call.
- Come on.Copy !req
323. Listen to me. This goes to
AWM security right now.Copy !req
324. Security's got to show it
to the insurance company.Copy !req
325. And that's going to trigger
some kind of protection.Copy !req
326. Wouldn't it make more sense for me just
to wear a different disguise every day?Copy !req
327. One more thing.Copy !req
328. There's gonna
be a tabloid story.Copy !req
329. - Good. Yeah.
- What did I do?Copy !req
330. Is it possible Maggie
filed a complaint with HRCopy !req
331. saying that you created
a hostile work environment?Copy !req
332. No, it's not possible.Copy !req
333. Maggie wouldn't complain
if her hair was on fire.Copy !req
334. Someone else did on her behalf.Copy !req
335. And it was a while ago
before you got here.Copy !req
336. Thanks.Copy !req
337. Would you excuse us for a second?Copy !req
338. Sure.Copy !req
339. Why don't we try to fully investigate
the anatomy of these stories?Copy !req
340. - No, we're gonna fully investigate Will.
- Of course.Copy !req
341. I want you to assign a team
to do opposition research on Will.Copy !req
342. Let's call it
Operation Involuntary Colonoscopy.Copy !req
343. I just want to know what the next
tabloid story is before it happens.Copy !req
344. You won't be able to pin
nothing on me, Mugsy.Copy !req
345. 'Cause I've lived my life
straight as the Kingston Trio.Copy !req
346. I'm not fucking around!Copy !req
347. You know, when you're grumpier
than I am, we've switched roles.Copy !req
348. Ask him what's the current
state of the reactors.Copy !req
349. What did he say?Copy !req
350. - What did he say?
- His daughter's on the diving team.Copy !req
351. They came in second at regionals.Copy !req
352. - Did he understand the question?
- Did you?Copy !req
353. I haven't spoken to him in two years.
We're catching up.Copy !req
354. How does a company like TEPCO not have
a spokesperson who speaks English?Copy !req
355. - I don't know.
- What is the current state of the reactors?Copy !req
356. Tanaka-san...Copy !req
357. Units one and three have had
explosions due to hydrogen buildup.Copy !req
358. They're currently stable,
but they're not safe to enter.Copy !req
359. What are they doing
to contain the situation?Copy !req
360. - What's going on with Will?
- Internal security is handling it.Copy !req
361. But I have to give you
a rotten assignment.Copy !req
362. - You got gum in your hair again?
- No.Copy !req
363. Yes, but I got it out.Copy !req
364. I need you to do opposition
research on Will.Copy !req
365. - Seriously?
- About a year ago,Copy !req
366. somebody filed a complaint with HR
on your behalf.Copy !req
367. I know what that was.
Will didn't do anything wrong.Copy !req
368. - This is ridiculous.
- I know,Copy !req
369. but Charlie wants to know
what else is out there so he can...Copy !req
370. - Will knows we're doing this?
- Of course.Copy !req
371. - And he's okay with it?
- No, he hates it.Copy !req
372. - Fantastic.
- Go to work.Copy !req
373. - Have you done this before?
- Yeah.Copy !req
374. Where do we start?Copy !req
375. Tell me about the complaint.Copy !req
376. There was a desk producer who saw
Will yell at me about something.Copy !req
377. - What?
- Doesn't matter.Copy !req
378. What?Copy !req
379. Doesn't matter.Copy !req
380. - I mixed up Georgia the state with...
- No.Copy !req
381. - Yes, Georgia the country.
- And this was...Copy !req
382. - Yup. This isn't about me.
- ... during the invasion?Copy !req
383. You thought the Russians
invaded Atlanta?Copy !req
384. In retrospect, it seems farfetched.Copy !req
385. But that wasn't what
he was actually mad about.Copy !req
386. The wife of a board member died
and Will asked me to send flowers.Copy !req
387. I wrote on the card,
"I'm so sorry about your loss. LOL."Copy !req
388. - LOL?
- I thought it meant "lots of love."Copy !req
389. How are you still working here?Copy !req
390. I dodge bullets.Copy !req
391. Here comes a bullet. Boom!
I'm over here.Copy !req
392. Ping! Here comes another bullet.
Boom! I'm over here.Copy !req
393. Ask him if TEPCO's gonna try
to keep the reactors going.Copy !req
394. Tanaka-san...Copy !req
395. They're classified at level fiveCopy !req
396. and they think they'll be able
to get the reactor going.Copy !req
397. Guys, do me a favor and
let us have a minute?Copy !req
398. Daisuke, the others have left
the room and I'm alone now.Copy !req
399. I understand.Copy !req
400. Do you still want to stand by your statement
that the reactor's going to stay at level 5?Copy !req
401. That is the statement that I made.Copy !req
402. Daisuke, are people in the area in
more danger than you're telling us?Copy !req
403. I'm not an expert in this field.
I'm just a spokesperson for TEPCO.Copy !req
404. Have you heard anyone talk about
the radiation exceeding level 5?Copy !req
405. Daisuke, we've known
each other a long time.Copy !req
406. Anybody know where
Sloan Sabbith is?Copy !req
407. Sloan!Copy !req
408. She's on the phone.Copy !req
409. All right, she's off the phone.Copy !req
410. Here are the notes.
It's gonna go to level seven.Copy !req
411. - Holy shit.
- You got a minute?Copy !req
412. Fukushima's a lot worse
than they're telling you.Copy !req
413. - I need you to fill in for Elliot tonight.
- This is what the Japanese do.Copy !req
414. They... Wait, what?Copy !req
415. - I need you to fill in for Elliot at 10:00.
- Why?Copy !req
416. His 5-year-old's having
a tonsillectomy today.Copy !req
417. Elliot's gonna spend the night
in the hospital with her.Copy !req
418. - Was it an emergency?
- No, it was scheduled a week ago.Copy !req
419. And you're just getting
around to this now?Copy !req
420. I...Copy !req
421. - Forgot?
- Yes.Copy !req
422. You have a staff.
They can write these things down.Copy !req
423. They can, but I have to
remember to tell them to.Copy !req
424. So what do you say?
You're my first and only choice.Copy !req
425. - What about Jerome?
- He's in Bermuda.Copy !req
426. - Kathy?
- It's her parents' 50th anniversary.Copy !req
427. - Taylor?
- Bronchitis.Copy !req
428. - So...
- Yes, you were my fourth and only choice.Copy !req
429. I can't host Elliot's show.
Don't be ridiculous.Copy !req
430. You host your own show at 4:00.Copy !req
431. - About financial news.
- You're expanding.Copy !req
432. Come on. I gained
four freaking pounds.Copy !req
433. No, professor.Copy !req
434. - Right, expanding.
- Yeah.Copy !req
435. - No, I'm not doing it.
- Your copy will be written for you to approve.Copy !req
436. You've got Marco Rubio,
Sandra Bernhard...Copy !req
437. Sandra Bernhard's been
dead for 100 years.Copy !req
438. - That's Sarah Bernhardt.
- She'd be a good guest.Copy !req
439. - I hate my life.
- Hmm?Copy !req
440. Nothing. And the
spokesperson for TEPCO.Copy !req
441. - I just got off the phone with him.
- See? You're perfect.Copy !req
442. I was just doing a favor for these guys.
I don't know anything...Copy !req
443. Thank God my first five
choices weren't available.Copy !req
444. I thought there were only three.Copy !req
445. Let's not get caught
up in the math.Copy !req
446. If you want a wardrobe
change after the 4:00,Copy !req
447. we have Gucci ready to
send over some choices.Copy !req
448. - Gucci?
- A whole rack of choices.Copy !req
449. Your copy will be ready
for your approval after 9:00Copy !req
450. along with your questions, and I
will be in your ear the whole time.Copy !req
451. Except for Fukushima,
you're mostly throwing to packages.Copy !req
452. They've been lowballing
the radiation levels.Copy !req
453. I'd take their word for it.Copy !req
454. The Japanese have
some experience with radiation.Copy !req
455. You think that's something...Copy !req
456. That is not something
you should mention on the air.Copy !req
457. - Oh, God.
- Mr. Will McAvoy.Copy !req
458. You're not here to
do my taxes, right?Copy !req
459. My name's Lonny Church.Copy !req
460. Mr. Horn at AWM Security
told you I'd be here at this time.Copy !req
461. I'll tell you right now
I'm gonna hate this.Copy !req
462. I'll tell you now
I'm not gonna care.Copy !req
463. - Let's go in my office for a minute.
- Sure.Copy !req
464. It's not a real threat.Copy !req
465. I don't make that decision.Copy !req
466. Lonny Church?
Did you play college football?Copy !req
467. Yes, I did. Defensive tackle.Copy !req
468. - Started three years for Clemson.
- And then?Copy !req
469. Got drafted in the eighth round
by the Bengals.Copy !req
470. - And then?
- Got cut five weeks into training camp.Copy !req
471. Excellent.Copy !req
472. Joined the Army, became an MP.Copy !req
473. - Where were you deployed?
- New Jersey.Copy !req
474. You see a lot of
action in New Jersey?Copy !req
475. See a lot of action in your studio?Copy !req
476. I'll be doing the jokes, okay?Copy !req
477. - After you were discharged?
- Honorably.Copy !req
478. I joined Blue North Security.Copy !req
479. Who else's body have you guarded?Copy !req
480. - We don't talk about that.
- Okay.Copy !req
481. Kanye. It was awesome.Copy !req
482. Are you armed?Copy !req
483. I secure my weapon in a gun safe
when I come in the building.Copy !req
484. Keep it there.
I really don't want an armed guard.Copy !req
485. Maybe if you were drafted in the
first four rounds, I'd feel safer.Copy !req
486. - Mr. McAvoy...
- You can call me Will.Copy !req
487. Yeah, I was gonna do that anyway.Copy !req
488. I know you're used
to being the boss.Copy !req
489. But you're not anymore.
At least for a little while.Copy !req
490. How long?Copy !req
491. Until my colleagues chase down
the source of the threatCopy !req
492. or, of course, if you've been
successfully assassinated.Copy !req
493. - A joke?
- What'd you think?Copy !req
494. It was all right.
How does this work?Copy !req
495. I pick you up at your home in the
morning and escort you to your office.Copy !req
496. Then I pick you up at your office at
night and escort you to your home.Copy !req
497. I'm with you any place
that's an unsecured area.Copy !req
498. What's an unsecured area?Copy !req
499. Any place that isn't your
home or your office.Copy !req
500. I'm single. What about a date?Copy !req
501. I don't think we should
get romantically involved.Copy !req
502. - You get one joke a day.Copy !req
503. - Come on in.
- I say that.Copy !req
504. - I'm sorry. You got a second?
- Yeah.Copy !req
505. I'll leave you.Copy !req
506. Sloan, this is Lonny.
You'll see him around.Copy !req
507. - Good to meet you.
- Wow.Copy !req
508. - Can I tap your chest?
- Sure.Copy !req
509. Holy cow.Copy !req
510. - Have you felt his pecs?
- No, I haven't yet.Copy !req
511. I'll be downstairs.Copy !req
512. So I'm hosting
Elliot's show tonight.Copy !req
513. I know. I'm the one
who suggested you.Copy !req
514. You really think I can do it?Copy !req
515. No, I have no idea.
So we're gonna find out.Copy !req
516. All right. Well, your exuberant
confidence notwithstanding,Copy !req
517. - I have the spokesperson...
- From TEPCO, I know.Copy !req
518. He just told me, off the record,
that reactor threeCopy !req
519. is causing what is a level seven,
not a level five, radiation leak.Copy !req
520. What's the trick to getting him to
say it on the record?Copy !req
521. There is no trick. You just don't
stop until he tells the truth.Copy !req
522. What do you mean you don't stop?Copy !req
523. I mean you don't stop.Copy !req
524. Sloan, I watch your show
at 4:00 and you're brilliant.Copy !req
525. But you let guests say things
that I know you know aren't true.Copy !req
526. And then you just move on.
Ask the damn follow-upCopy !req
527. and then demonstrate with facts
how the guest is lying.Copy !req
528. You can't just sit there
and be a facilitatorCopy !req
529. for whatever bullshit the guest
wants to feed your viewers.Copy !req
530. They're not coming on to plug a movie.
It's not Jimmy Kimmel.Copy !req
531. You knowingly, passively,
allow someone to lie on your air,Copy !req
532. and maybe you're not a drug dealer,
but you're sure as hellCopy !req
533. the guy who drives the dealer
around in your car.Copy !req
534. So maybe you'll get it, maybe you won't.
Show me something.Copy !req
535. - Got it.
- Do you?Copy !req
536. Yeah.Copy !req
537. I just... I don't know.
I was in a bad mood.Copy !req
538. Honestly, I was just
trying to motivate her.Copy !req
539. She's the last person
who needs motivation,Copy !req
540. - so it just ended up...
- Scaring her.Copy !req
541. I hate that people
are scared of me.Copy !req
542. - I absolutely hate it.
- Why?Copy !req
543. Why do I hate when
people are scared of me?Copy !req
544. For the same reason everybody does.Copy !req
545. Everybody doesn't.Copy !req
546. Some people like it.
Most people don't care.Copy !req
547. I don't know what to tell you.
I don't like it.Copy !req
548. And I'm pretty sure I scared SloanCopy !req
549. because she's a veteran reporter who's
never done anything like what she did.Copy !req
550. What's the condition
of each reactor?Copy !req
551. - All six reactors are in stable condition.
- Great, let's wrap up.Copy !req
552. What about the partial
meltdown at reactor three?Copy !req
553. - Wrap up for me.Copy !req
554. Excuse me, that's not what I asked.Copy !req
555. I'm asking him specificallyCopy !req
556. about the core damage
at reactor three.Copy !req
557. - What's happening?Copy !req
558. We know of no core damage
at any of the reactors.Copy !req
559. That's not what
Mr. Tanaka just said.Copy !req
560. He said, "Our engineers can't get
close enough to confirm that."Copy !req
561. Please translate exactly
what I'm askingCopy !req
562. and exactly what
Mr. Tanaka is answering,Copy !req
563. including what I'm saying now,Copy !req
564. because I want him to be aware
that he's being misrepresented.Copy !req
565. Miss Sabbith, I am translating.
He is not being...Copy !req
566. Ask him if he believes the radiation
levels are going to a seven.Copy !req
567. Please, please, don't go rogue.Copy !req
568. The radiation was
categorized at level fourCopy !req
569. and then recategorized
at level five.Copy !req
570. And that's where it should remain.Copy !req
571. Ma'am, he didn't say that's
where it should remain. You did.Copy !req
572. Furthermore, he told me...
You know what? I'm just gonna...Copy !req
573. Tanaka-san...Copy !req
574. And now we're doing
the broadcast in Japanese.Copy !req
575. "We'll be right back after
this." Just say that.Copy !req
576. Say it in English.Copy !req
577. Did she just... Put me back!Copy !req
578. Mr. Tanaka, your company had this
incident rated at level four,Copy !req
579. then adjusted to level five.Copy !req
580. How confident are you that that'll
be the highest level we see?Copy !req
581. At least we're back to English.Copy !req
582. At this point, we see no reasonCopy !req
583. that level will need
future escalation.Copy !req
584. Well, that's simply not what Mr. Tanaka
told me on the phone earlier today.Copy !req
585. - No, no.
- When I spoke with him earlier,Copy !req
586. he said there's enough evidence
to raise the level to seven.Copy !req
587. - Go back to Japanese.
- And now he's not saying it, so I am.Copy !req
588. - Oh, my God!
- So there it is.Copy !req
589. The Fukushima nuclear
power plant is sayingCopy !req
590. that the level four radiation leak
that was raised to level fiveCopy !req
591. has a chance of being
raised to level seven,Copy !req
592. which is the difference
between life and gruesome death.Copy !req
593. We'll be back after this
with Sarah Bernhardt.Copy !req
594. Sandra Bernhard, you idiot!Copy !req
595. What the hell does it matter?Copy !req
596. - Okay...
- 'Sup?Copy !req
597. Okay, I know we were on
sketchy ground ethicallyCopy !req
598. and linguistically, but...Copy !req
599. Whatever you're gonna say,
save it for another 10 seconds.Copy !req
600. What happens in 10 seconds?Copy !req
601. Just hang on for
another five secondsCopy !req
602. and know that we've all been there
at one point or another.Copy !req
603. What happens in five seconds?Copy !req
604. What in the name of holy fuck
were you thinking about?Copy !req
605. First, let me say that Don was
not responsible for that.Copy !req
606. Yeah, when you severed
communication with the EP,Copy !req
607. you pretty much absolved
him of responsibility.Copy !req
608. But that doesn't make the cut
of the top three calamitiesCopy !req
609. - that just occurred.
- Charlie...Copy !req
610. I, along with most people
who don't live in Japan,Copy !req
611. am not fluent in Japanese,
so I have to ask.Copy !req
612. Did you just make up statements for
somebody we had live on our air?Copy !req
613. - I didn't make them up.
- About a deadly radiation leak?Copy !req
614. I didn't make them up.Copy !req
615. He told me the reactor
was going to a seven.Copy !req
616. When? Tonight?Copy !req
617. I'm asking honestly
because there was a portionCopy !req
618. of the broadcast that turned
into a Kurosawa movie.Copy !req
619. These things are measured
on a scale of zero to seven.Copy !req
620. Five is Three Mile Island,
seven is Chernobyl.Copy !req
621. On air, did he say
the reactors were going to seven?Copy !req
622. He said it to me in
the preinterview.Copy !req
623. And then the company stuck
an interpreter next to him,Copy !req
624. and I think her job was
more than interpretingCopy !req
625. because she wasn't
accurately translating...Copy !req
626. We don't report what
you think, Sloan.Copy !req
627. The guy said all six
reactors are stable.Copy !req
628. The Japanese are a
deferential people.Copy !req
629. It's very hard for them to explain
when they've done something wrong.Copy !req
630. I don't give a shit,
Madame Butterfly!Copy !req
631. And right now the Japanese,Copy !req
632. who are reading
an online report of your report,Copy !req
633. are fleeing from
their fucking homes.Copy !req
634. Now tell me what he
said tonight on air.Copy !req
635. He said the reactors were at five.Copy !req
636. But you said he said
they would move to seven.Copy !req
637. I made it clear he said that
during the preinterview.Copy !req
638. First of all, let's
not kid ourselves.Copy !req
639. There was nothing that was
clear about that interview.Copy !req
640. He said it to me, and he said it to
a conference room full of staffers.Copy !req
641. - The staffers weren't there.
- The staffers were not there.Copy !req
642. I sent them out so we could
speak privately and off...Copy !req
643. No, finish that sentence.Copy !req
644. Off the record.Copy !req
645. Good luck trying to get a source to
talk to you off the record again.Copy !req
646. You have no value to
me as a reporter now.Copy !req
647. - Charlie!
- And I have to suspend you.Copy !req
648. Come on.
- What?Copy !req
649. I have to suspend you while we
bring in outside investigatorsCopy !req
650. to comb through every report
you've filed in the last two yearsCopy !req
651. to find out what other
shit you made up.Copy !req
652. I didn't make anything up.
I would never make anything up.Copy !req
653. I know that and you know that
and he knows that,Copy !req
654. but why the hell should
anyone else know that?Copy !req
655. You're suspended with pay
until I figure out...Copy !req
656. - They were lying about a public safety issue.
- You're suspended with...Copy !req
657. I don't want the goddamn pay!Copy !req
658. Don't front off with me, girl!Copy !req
659. - Don't call me girl, sir.
- Hey!Copy !req
660. Everybody calm the fuck down.Copy !req
661. Sarah Bernhardt was a
turn-of-the-centuryCopy !req
662. stage and film actress from France.Copy !req
663. Sandra Bernhard is a...Copy !req
664. I don't know what the hell.Copy !req
665. There's no way she does that if I
hadn't given her my awesome pep talk.Copy !req
666. Are you close with Sloan?Copy !req
667. - Are we close?
- Yeah.Copy !req
668. - Why?
- Just asking.Copy !req
669. You seem very protective.Copy !req
670. We didn't used to be. But she's become...
I don't know.Copy !req
671. I don't know, like a little
sister to me or something.Copy !req
672. Your father was an
abusive alcoholic?Copy !req
673. What?Copy !req
674. Your father, he was
an abusive alcoholic?Copy !req
675. I didn't say that.Copy !req
676. But he was, right?Copy !req
677. You got that in the 40 minutesCopy !req
678. that I've been sitting here that
seem like a week and a half?Copy !req
679. It's in the notes my dad left.Copy !req
680. Can I have a prescription now?Copy !req
681. - He hit you?
- Come on.Copy !req
682. He hit you, right?Copy !req
683. How many times did you
see Good Will Hunting?Copy !req
684. - He hit you?
- Yes.Copy !req
685. - He hit your mother?
- Yes.Copy !req
686. You have a brother and two sisters.
He hit them, right?Copy !req
687. Look, he didn't hit anybody once I
was old enough to hit him back.Copy !req
688. And when was that?Copy !req
689. Will, how old were you
when you had to protectCopy !req
690. your mother, your brother,Copy !req
691. and your two little sistersCopy !req
692. from a grown man
who was drunk and violent?Copy !req
693. Fifth grade.Copy !req
694. I cracked a bottle of
Dewar's across his face.Copy !req
695. It's in your notes. Why are
you pursuing this line of...Copy !req
696. I'm not trying to be an asshole.Copy !req
697. I just want a sleeping pill.Copy !req
698. I'm gonna give you one,
but I doubt it's gonna work.Copy !req
699. Let's give it a try.Copy !req
700. You've got another
15 minutes on your session.Copy !req
701. I didn't come here for a session.Copy !req
702. You could have gotten sleeping
pills from your internist.Copy !req
703. Shit, you could have
got them online.Copy !req
704. I didn't go to my internist
because he asks too many questions.Copy !req
705. You didn't go to your internist because
he doesn't ask you the right questions.Copy !req
706. I didn't come here for a session.Copy !req
707. I think you did.Copy !req
708. I'm checking on the
opposition research.Copy !req
709. Maggie was detained by the police for
attempting to blow up her parents' house.Copy !req
710. He's overstating it.Copy !req
711. My cousins and I wanted
to shoot guns at soda cans.Copy !req
712. Where did you place the soda cans?Copy !req
713. - On top of the propane tanks.
- Which were in front of?Copy !req
714. The diesel fuel combine.
But I'm an excellent shot.Copy !req
715. The Deep South could have used you
when the Russians invaded.Copy !req
716. Will! How's the opposition
research on Will?Copy !req
717. He once needed lenses for driving,
then didn't.Copy !req
718. So he probably had LASIK surgery.Copy !req
719. He did.Copy !req
720. He registered for the New York
Marathon, but didn't finish.Copy !req
721. My fault. I twisted my ankle
at the starting line.Copy !req
722. He carried me to the first aid tent.
What else?Copy !req
723. - He was hospitalized with tuberculosis.
- Already knew that.Copy !req
724. He was credited on a country album
as a guitarist.Copy !req
725. He's an accomplished guitarist who
occasionally jams with Leonard Cohen.Copy !req
726. He got a C-minus in
Sociology of Emotion.Copy !req
727. It was a clerical mistake.
He never registered for the class.Copy !req
728. - Then a C-minus is pretty good.
- I need something I can use.Copy !req
729. Wait, are we trying to protect Will
or give you ammunition?Copy !req
730. Thought we could do both.Copy !req
731. He contributed $250 to
the failed primary campaignCopy !req
732. of a congressional
candidate in Nebraska.Copy !req
733. - While he was a journalist?
- No.Copy !req
734. Nothing I can do with that.Copy !req
735. I mean, they... Nothing
they can do with that.Copy !req
736. The candidate was a Republican.Copy !req
737. - So's Will.
- What?Copy !req
738. He's a registered Republican.Copy !req
739. The four of you weren't
able to uncover that?Copy !req
740. - We weren't looking.
- He was a speechwriter for Bush 41.Copy !req
741. What did you think he was?Copy !req
742. I just thought he did
that as a public service.Copy !req
743. Or to mess with him
like in The Sting.Copy !req
744. That's nothing like
what happened in The Sting.Copy !req
745. Jim got kicked out of
a study abroad semester.Copy !req
746. - He went to the Arctic Circle.
- I wanted to see the penguins.Copy !req
747. Those are in the Antarctic.
- Lesson learned.Copy !req
748. Why'd you get kicked out?Copy !req
749. You're not allowed to
fraternize with the Inuit.Copy !req
750. He tried to score with an Eskimo.Copy !req
751. I was just trying...Copy !req
752. I was just trying to get past the
disappointment with the penguins.Copy !req
753. - All right, so there's nothing so far.Copy !req
754. Fox offered him a ton
of money in 2006Copy !req
755. to come to LA and get
into late-night.Copy !req
756. - A talk show?
- Yeah.Copy !req
757. He'd have been good at that.Copy !req
758. All right, get back to the news.Copy !req
759. - Did you say 2006?
- Yeah.Copy !req
760. - How far did it get?
- A deal memo.Copy !req
761. - You sure?
- Yeah.Copy !req
762. All right.Copy !req
763. You know that this is stupid.Copy !req
764. Just go do your jobs.Copy !req
765. I've just heard something
I can't believe.Copy !req
766. Why don't you attack this woman?Copy !req
767. She doesn't seem that
threatening to me.Copy !req
768. She's incredibly threatening.Copy !req
769. My life is in constant danger
when she's around.Copy !req
770. - I'm Lonny Church.
- MacKenzie McHale.Copy !req
771. - Attack!
- Nah.Copy !req
772. Look, I'll be here at 9:00
unless you're leaving the building.Copy !req
773. In which case, press pound five
on your phone and I'll be here.Copy !req
774. - Nice meeting you.
- Nice meeting you.Copy !req
775. Fox offered you a
late-night talk show.Copy !req
776. - Great, when do I start?
- Five years ago.Copy !req
777. They offered you the show
when we were together.Copy !req
778. It was gonna take you to LA
and it got as far as the deal memo.Copy !req
779. What is it you think
you've uncovered?Copy !req
780. This whole time you've enjoyed
making me feel guiltyCopy !req
781. for ruining the life
we would have had togetherCopy !req
782. when, in fact, you never had
any intention of marrying me.Copy !req
783. No intention of marrying me.Copy !req
784. I mean, you never
even mentioned it.Copy !req
785. You were just gonna go to LA
and leave a note?Copy !req
786. Let me tell you something,
the days of you being ableCopy !req
787. to lord my mistake
over me are behind us.Copy !req
788. I've lived a life that
is good and pure.Copy !req
789. You were deceiving me
while I was deceiving you.Copy !req
790. You never had any intention of...
What's this?Copy !req
791. I didn't tell you about the Fox
offer because it was never real.Copy !req
792. I knew I was being
used as leverage,Copy !req
793. and I didn't want to be embarrassed
in front of you when it went away.Copy !req
794. I was still trying to impress you.Copy !req
795. The ring was meant for me?Copy !req
796. But I've lived a life
that's good and pure.Copy !req
797. Except for...Copy !req
798. Cheating on you.Copy !req
799. - Could you speak up?
- Cheating on you.Copy !req
800. - Except for cheating on you!
- There it is.Copy !req
801. Okay. Well, then,Copy !req
802. back to work.Copy !req
803. Yeah.Copy !req
804. Listen, when you do
propose to someone,Copy !req
805. that's the ring that'll do it.Copy !req
806. Yeah.Copy !req
807. So as soon as you heard they
were doing opposition research,Copy !req
808. you ran over to Tiffany
and bought the ring?Copy !req
809. That's insane.Copy !req
810. I had to send my agent or it would
have shown up in the papers.Copy !req
811. - Will.
- I'm gonna return it.Copy !req
812. Does that seem normal to you?Copy !req
813. The world is made up of
two kinds of people.Copy !req
814. The ones who think they're normal and the
ones who know there's no such thing.Copy !req
815. Great, you took one semester
of Intro to Adult Psych.Copy !req
816. But the world is made up of a lot
more than two kinds of people.Copy !req
817. And I was speaking in the
psychiatric sense of the word.Copy !req
818. - Does going out and buying a ring...
- Which I'm going to return.Copy !req
819. as a bizarre... I don't
know what to call it,Copy !req
820. - seem normal to you?
- You weren't around for the exposition.Copy !req
821. She had an affair with
her ex-boyfriend.Copy !req
822. For four months while
she was with me.Copy !req
823. - It's four years later.
- And you know why I don't talk about it?Copy !req
824. Because I'm tired of people telling me
it's a "just get over it" situation.Copy !req
825. Fuck you. You don't know
what it's like in my head.Copy !req
826. Sloan Sabbith.Copy !req
827. It's a Japanese news report
from a few hours ago.Copy !req
828. We know they're talking about you,
but we don't know what they're saying.Copy !req
829. "After releasing incorrect information
to the American journalist Sloan Sabbith..."Copy !req
830. That's a picture of Elliot and he didn't
release incorrect information. I did.Copy !req
831. And it wasn't incorrect.Copy !req
832. "After releasing incorrect information to
the American journalist Sloan Sabbith...Copy !req
833. "TEPCO spokesman Daisuke Tanaka
has offered to resign today.Copy !req
834. "He said, 'I apologize to my company,
my government, and my country."'Copy !req
835. Please, I have to fix this now.Copy !req
836. Help me. I need wisdom.Copy !req
837. - I have wisdom.
- Kenzie, I love you,Copy !req
838. but a Japanese man's
honor is at stake,Copy !req
839. and sometimes your
wisdom leads to...Copy !req
840. Like...Copy !req
841. - No, I get it.
- Yeah.Copy !req
842. Will?Copy !req
843. She'd just been suspended and she's
thinking about the other guy's job.Copy !req
844. Honor, actually, is what she said.Copy !req
845. Meanwhile, she's a punch
line on the Internet.Copy !req
846. - And he's got students, too.
- Who?Copy !req
847. Sloan. She teaches at
Columbia twice a week.Copy !req
848. You said, "He."
"He's got students."Copy !req
849. And you feel that's a
breakthrough moment?Copy !req
850. That my subconscious
revealed something?Copy !req
851. 'Cause I'll be honest.Copy !req
852. I'm pretty sure the reason I
said "he" instead of "she"Copy !req
853. is that I've been awake
for a really long time now.Copy !req
854. But those comments
weren't on your site, right?Copy !req
855. No, because nobody's gonna say that
unless they're anonymous.Copy !req
856. And if you don't count the
death threat, it worked.Copy !req
857. It was bully kryptonite.
No more LollypopLollypop.Copy !req
858. - What did SurrendrDorothee mean when...
- Huh?Copy !req
859. The screen name of the person...Copy !req
860. It's what the...Copy !req
861. - Yeah, the screen name of the person...
- Yeah.Copy !req
862. On the last night
you showed anonymous posts.Copy !req
863. It's what the witch
wrote in the sky...Copy !req
864. I'm not asking what the
screen name means.Copy !req
865. I'm asking what the person,
that when he or she saidCopy !req
866. that your guest that night had
hit the Uncle Tom Daily Double.Copy !req
867. The guest he or she was talking
about was a man named Sutton Wall,Copy !req
868. who was the deputy chief of staff
to Rick Santorum,Copy !req
869. former senator for PennsylvaniaCopy !req
870. who just announced his intention to
run for President of the United States.Copy !req
871. The list of prospective candidates for
the Republican nomination for presidentCopy !req
872. may yet include another name.Copy !req
873. Earlier this week,
former Pennsylvania senatorCopy !req
874. Rick Santorum convened
an exploratory committee...Copy !req
875. And Sutton Wall is
both black and gay.Copy !req
876. The senator is perhaps best known for his
full-throated advocacy of social issues.Copy !req
877. Here to discuss how
those positions and othersCopy !req
878. may shape Mr. Santorum's
bid for the White HouseCopy !req
879. is his former deputy chief
of staff Sutton Wall,Copy !req
880. an adjunct professor of American
Studies at Temple University,Copy !req
881. who will be serving as an advisor to
the campaign throughout this process.Copy !req
882. He teaches at Temple?Copy !req
883. - Yeah.
- So he has students?Copy !req
884. Yes, he has students.Copy !req
885. And LollypopLollypop
said you almost made him cry.Copy !req
886. That... That was absolutely
not my intention.Copy !req
887. Well, you're hardwired
to hate bullies.Copy !req
888. Like the way comic book heroes
are born out of a childhood trauma.Copy !req
889. Santorum was the bully
in that situation.Copy !req
890. Speaking to the
New York Times in May 2005,Copy !req
891. Senator Santorum said,Copy !req
892. "Gay marriage threatens my marriage.
It threatens all marriages.Copy !req
893. "It threatens the traditional
values of this country."Copy !req
894. Mr. Wall, how does gay marriage
threaten Mr. Santorum's marriage?Copy !req
895. The senator believes
that marriage is definedCopy !req
896. as the union of one
man and one woman.Copy !req
897. I understand that's what
the former senator believes,Copy !req
898. but what he said wasCopy !req
899. that gay marriage threatens his
marriage and all marriages.Copy !req
900. And I'm asking you exactly
how it's a threat.Copy !req
901. Sanctity of life is the number one issue
with Rick Santorum, and he believes...Copy !req
902. Mr. Wall, we'll get to purposely vague
words like sanctity in a moment.Copy !req
903. But I'd like you to try
to answer the question.Copy !req
904. How is Mr. Santorum's
marriage threatenedCopy !req
905. by the gay couple two houses down
also being married?Copy !req
906. Will, I was proud to serve
on the senator's staff,Copy !req
907. and I'll be proud to serve and support him
should he choose to run for president.Copy !req
908. But that doesn't mean
I necessarily agree with himCopy !req
909. on every single issue.Copy !req
910. Gay marriage is now legal in five states
as well as the District of Columbia.Copy !req
911. Has Mr. Santorum's marriage
been suffering as a result?Copy !req
912. Has he complained to you
that he and Mrs. SantorumCopy !req
913. seem to be fighting
more or talking less?Copy !req
914. - Of course not.
- Has there been any infidelityCopy !req
915. in the last seven years or an
inability to relate to their childrenCopy !req
916. as a result of five states
legalizing same-sex marriage?Copy !req
917. This is a preposterous
line of questioning, sir.Copy !req
918. I'm afraid it has to be, sir, because
it's a preposterous assertion.Copy !req
919. Now, are you able to name one wayCopy !req
920. in which Mr. Santorum's
marriage to Mrs. SantorumCopy !req
921. is threatened by gay couples
also having the right to marry?Copy !req
922. I...Copy !req
923. I am not able to name a way.Copy !req
924. Thank you.Copy !req
925. I could have just stopped it there.Copy !req
926. Does it bother you that
Mr. Santorum thinksCopy !req
927. there's something wrong with you
that should be fixed?Copy !req
928. Hang on, because I am sick
and tired of these attacks,Copy !req
929. these wrongheaded attacks against a
great man and a great public servant.Copy !req
930. Reasonable people can disagree
about how great a manCopy !req
931. or how great a public servant
Rick Santorum is,Copy !req
932. but they can't disagree about
the fact that he thinksCopy !req
933. you're a sick deviant who's
threatening the fabric of society.Copy !req
934. I have known this man
for almost a decade,Copy !req
935. and I can tell you that he has
treated me with nothing but respect.Copy !req
936. This is Senator Santorum
speaking to Fox News.Copy !req
937. - Easy does it, Will.
- No, we're gonna do this thing.Copy !req
938. that this is the equivalent,Copy !req
939. that being black and being gay
is the same is simply not true.Copy !req
940. There are all sorts of studies out
there that suggest just the contrary,Copy !req
941. and there are people who were gay
and lived a gay lifestyleCopy !req
942. and aren't anymore. I don't know
if that's the similar situation.Copy !req
943. I don't think that's the case with
anybody that's black.Copy !req
944. Mr. Santorum is forgiving
you for being blackCopy !req
945. because there's nothing
you can do about that.Copy !req
946. But you don't have to be gay.Copy !req
947. I will say it again.
Mr. Santorum is a great manCopy !req
948. who would make a great president.Copy !req
949. He has never treated me with
anything but the utmost respect.Copy !req
950. Except for finding you disgusting.Copy !req
951. - That is a lie.
- Will, don't...Copy !req
952. Has Rick Santorum on
the floor of the US SenateCopy !req
953. compared homosexuality
to incest and bestiality?Copy !req
954. Those remarks have been taken out
of context over the years...Copy !req
955. Feel free to put the remarks
in the proper context.Copy !req
956. He makes a clear distinction between
homosexuality and homosexual acts.Copy !req
957. So he only finds you disgusting
when you act like a homosexual?Copy !req
958. - He doesn't find me disgusting.
- Yes, he does.Copy !req
959. And he also thinks
you're less than a man.Copy !req
960. - No, he certainly does not.
- Come on.Copy !req
961. Our Declaration
contains the wordsCopy !req
962. "We hold these truths
to be self-evidentCopy !req
963. "that all men are created equal. "Copy !req
964. In order to arrive
at the conclusionCopy !req
965. that homosexual love is something
less than heterosexual love,Copy !req
966. you have to begin with the premiseCopy !req
967. that a homosexual is
something less than a man.Copy !req
968. That's inescapable.Copy !req
969. And so I'm asking you
to explain to meCopy !req
970. why you would work for a man
who believes that you're inferior.Copy !req
971. - That you're damaged. That you're ill.
- Stop hitting him.Copy !req
972. Unnatural. A threat to children.Copy !req
973. Unfit to serve in the military.Copy !req
974. Unfit to be a parent.
And unloved by God.Copy !req
975. - I'm asking you, sir...
- Stop! Just stop!Copy !req
976. I believe in the sanctity of life.Copy !req
977. And if that word is too vague
for you, then look it up.Copy !req
978. I support the senator because of
all the candidates in the field,Copy !req
979. I believe he is the only one whose passion
on the issue of abortion equals my own.Copy !req
980. And I believe he has the skills
to make a fantastic president.Copy !req
981. I am not talking... That's not...Copy !req
982. You will not interrupt
me again, sir!Copy !req
983. I am more than one thing.Copy !req
984. How dare you reduce me
to the color of my skinCopy !req
985. or my sexual orientation?Copy !req
986. There are people who look just
like me, thousands and thousandsCopy !req
987. who died for the freedom to define
their own lives for themselves.Copy !req
988. How dare you presume to decide
what I should think is important.Copy !req
989. Yes, when it comes to
equality for the gay community,Copy !req
990. Senator Santorum is wrong.Copy !req
991. But I am far more insulted
by your high-handed implicationCopy !req
992. - that I need your protection.
- Sir, I...Copy !req
993. Shut up! I'll let you
know when I'm finished.Copy !req
994. I came on this program
because Rick Santorum believesCopy !req
995. that the right to kill an unborn
child is not inalienable.Copy !req
996. And I stand with Rick Santorum.Copy !req
997. And I stand with the
Catholic Church.Copy !req
998. I am not defined by my blackness.Copy !req
999. I am not defined by my gayness.Copy !req
1000. And if that doesn't fit
your narrow-minded expectationCopy !req
1001. of who I'm supposed to be,
I don't give a damnCopy !req
1002. because I'm not defined
by you either.Copy !req
1003. So get this through your head.Copy !req
1004. I don't need your help.Copy !req
1005. Mr. Wall?Copy !req
1006. Does Mr. Santorum think
you're fit to be a teacher?Copy !req
1007. No.Copy !req
1008. We'll be back after this.Copy !req
1009. He has students.Copy !req
1010. And parents.Copy !req
1011. And friends.Copy !req
1012. And colleagues. And strangers.Copy !req
1013. I was the bully.Copy !req
1014. I was the bully.Copy !req
1015. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
1016. You've got to give me credit for uniting
the far right, the gay community,Copy !req
1017. and blacks in their dislike of me.Copy !req
1018. The Internet exploded.Copy !req
1019. Everybody thought I'd
become unhinged.Copy !req
1020. It sort of brought back this thingCopy !req
1021. that happened about
a year ago at Northwestern.Copy !req
1022. When you yelled at a student.Copy !req
1023. I scared her.Copy !req
1024. All right.Copy !req
1025. All right.Copy !req
1026. That's News Night. Thanks for washing us...
Watching us.Copy !req
1027. - Let me get out of here.
- End the broadcast.Copy !req
1028. - I'm Will McAvoy.
- Attaboy.Copy !req
1029. Terry Smith is coming up, mercifully,
with The Capitol Report from Washington.Copy !req
1030. - Good night.Copy !req
1031. If you're here to make me feel
better, it's not necessary.Copy !req
1032. You think I'm here to
make you feel better?Copy !req
1033. The story is right.
In this one case,Copy !req
1034. I don't give a damn about on
the record, off the record.Copy !req
1035. - And no one in Fukushima does either.
- I do.Copy !req
1036. The story is right.Copy !req
1037. - His spokesman denied it on the air.
- He said it to me!Copy !req
1038. And you got proof of that
I can bounce off our satellite?Copy !req
1039. - No!
- Is Maggie into Jim?Copy !req
1040. For Christ's sake, we're
talking about... What?Copy !req
1041. Am I losing Maggie?Copy !req
1042. No.Copy !req
1043. Are you good at
knowing these things?Copy !req
1044. No.Copy !req
1045. Make sure he's at Dr. Habib's
office at 10:00 tomorrow.Copy !req
1046. When are you and me gonna get busy?Copy !req
1047. I'm flattered, but you'd crush me.Copy !req
1048. That's true.
That's happened before.Copy !req
1049. Dress up like a tailback and he
won't be able to lay a hand on you.Copy !req
1050. Shrimp boat, if I wasn't being
paid to keep you alive...Copy !req
1051. Let's go.
- Hey, girl!Copy !req
1052. Do you really have
to call her that?Copy !req
1053. She's packing up her office.Copy !req
1054. She's gonna unpack her office
'cause I figured a way out.Copy !req
1055. What?Copy !req
1056. The Japanese words
for four and seven sound alike.Copy !req
1057. 'Hey, girl!
- Yes?Copy !req
1058. Come on down.Copy !req
1059. I am here.Copy !req
1060. What's the Japanese word for four?Copy !req
1061. Shi.Copy !req
1062. - What's the Japanese word for seven?
- Shichi.Copy !req
1063. Those words are easy to mix up.Copy !req
1064. - No, they're not.
- Yes, they are.Copy !req
1065. Not for someone who's
fluent in Japanese.Copy !req
1066. - You're not fluent in Japanese.
- Yes, I am.Copy !req
1067. No, you're not.
That's how you mixed up the numbersCopy !req
1068. when you were talking to
Tanaka in the preinterview.Copy !req
1069. No, it's for
exactly that reasonCopy !req
1070. that there are two words for four
and two words for seven.Copy !req
1071. Yon and nana. And it went from
a four to a five to a seven.Copy !req
1072. That sounds very complicated.Copy !req
1073. Not if you're fluent in Japanese.Copy !req
1074. You're not anymore.Copy !req
1075. You're gonna go on TV tonight
during Elliot's show,Copy !req
1076. - which I pray to God Elliot is hosting.
- He is.Copy !req
1077. And you're going to apologize
and explain your error.Copy !req
1078. In exchange, Daisuke
Tanaka is going to sayCopy !req
1079. that you made it clear
that you were on the recordCopy !req
1080. and he doesn't have to resign
and you don't have to be suspended.Copy !req
1081. We're all going to just lie
and I'm going to look stupid.Copy !req
1082. - You bet. One more thing.
- What?Copy !req
1083. Fukushima's announcing
the radiation levels are a seven.Copy !req
1084. Thank you.Copy !req
1085. I don't know what the hell
you're thanking me for.Copy !req
1086. Well, it takes a big man
to admit he was wrong.Copy !req
1087. That isn't even remotely
what I am doing.Copy !req
1088. Hang on, she's got to go on the air
and say she made a mistake,Copy !req
1089. that her Japanese is poor...Copy !req
1090. - Which it certainly is not.
- Just... God.Copy !req
1091. She's gonna go on the air
and say she thought it was a sevenCopy !req
1092. when it's really a four
that then moved up to a fiveCopy !req
1093. and she's really sorry,
but also now it's really a seven?Copy !req
1094. It won't be our proudest moment,
but it'll save the guy's job.Copy !req
1095. Save his honor.Copy !req
1096. Help very slightly with our
increasingly dinged-up reputation,Copy !req
1097. and it'll help the girl
who we will now go backCopy !req
1098. to addressing as Sloan
or Miss Sabbith.Copy !req
1099. Will.Copy !req
1100. You want me to lie?Copy !req
1101. On television?Copy !req
1102. From a news desk
with the ACN bug in the corner?Copy !req
1103. I do.Copy !req
1104. And if there's any fallout, I'll be
standing right next to you and in front.Copy !req
1105. I'll always be standing right
next to you and in front.Copy !req
1106. We fucked up.Copy !req
1107. Let's just live with that now.Copy !req
1108. We lied on television
from the news desk.Copy !req
1109. It was a pretty
harmless lie, wasn't it?Copy !req
1110. You know how many air hours I've
spent railing against lying?Copy !req
1111. Calling people out on it?Copy !req
1112. We're the news and we're all gonna know
we lied for the rest of our lives.Copy !req
1113. All right, so it turns out
you know what you're doing.Copy !req
1114. So I'm sorry I've been a jerk.Copy !req
1115. Obviously the reason
I can't sleep is the Santorum aide.Copy !req
1116. And I haven't talked to anyone
about it, so I was trying...Copy !req
1117. - Bacon.
- What?Copy !req
1118. The bacon, egg, and
cheese sandwiches.Copy !req
1119. Bacon has tyramine, which increases
the release of norepinephrine,Copy !req
1120. which is a neurostimulant.Copy !req
1121. When did you figure that out?Copy !req
1122. When you said you made bacon,
egg, and cheese sandwiches.Copy !req
1123. - That was like an hour ago!
- Yeah.Copy !req
1124. Will, listen, and I'm going to
write you a mild prescription,Copy !req
1125. but you should come back.Copy !req
1126. If you don't like me,
see someone else.Copy !req
1127. But see someone. You've had a
lot going on for a long time.Copy !req
1128. Very serious stuff.
And, by the way,Copy !req
1129. you should be at an Al-Anon meeting
at least once a week.Copy !req
1130. You have a lot going on now.Copy !req
1131. You're being hunted.Copy !req
1132. In the press,Copy !req
1133. on the Internet,Copy !req
1134. very possibly literally.Copy !req
1135. This whole file here from four years
ago, every page is about MacKenzie.Copy !req
1136. In these notes are a lot of evidence that
you're experiencing acute depressionCopy !req
1137. and doing a masterful
job covering it.Copy !req
1138. That's done.Copy !req
1139. Buying the
ring was not normal.Copy !req
1140. I don't know what else to call it.
It wasn't normal.Copy !req
1141. It really doesn't take
a team of Viennese specialistsCopy !req
1142. to see that you have
unresolved issues with MacKenzie.Copy !req
1143. No, my feelings are
completely resolved.Copy !req
1144. She's a good friend
and my most trusted partner.Copy !req
1145. The ring was just a prank.Copy !req
1146. I know what you
think of all this.Copy !req
1147. But I would really urge you
to spend an hour a weekCopy !req
1148. faking it.Copy !req
1149. That's it. Our time's up.Copy !req