The Newsroom 1x10

1. And rolling.

2. Stand by, camera one.

3. In three, two...

4. Good evening. I'm Will McAvoy.

5. This is Monday, August 8th.

6. And this past Friday, for the first time ever,

7. Standard and Poor's downgraded the credit rating of the US Treasury.

8. You would think that would be tonight's top story,

9. or you might think that it would be the Dow

10. closing 634 points down on its worst day of trading in three years,

11. or the austerity riots in Europe

12. or any of the statements made today by the Republican candidates for president

13. or statements made by the president himself,

14. but it's not.

15. Tonight's top story is a woman named Dorothy Cooper.

16. Will?

17. Will, it's MacKenzie.

18. I saw him come in, but I didn't see him leave.

19. - I've been on for six hours. - Will?

20. Will?

21. Hello?

22. He's not here.

23. Will?

24. - Did you try calling his... - Hold on.

25. - Billy! Billy! - Oh, Jesus.

26. I need an ambulance right away.

27. He's out of immediate danger,

28. but we're going to have to stop the internal bleeding.

29. What happened? Why was he coughing up blood?

30. He wasn't coughing up blood. He was vomiting blood from his stomach.

31. There's upper GI bleeding, probably a perforation.

32. You're describing a bleeding ulcer.

33. Yes. We're prepping him for an EGD.

34. I don't know what that is.

35. They're gonna put a tube with a camera down his throat.

36. Does he take any pain medication?

37. Hardly ever. It's called...

38. - Naproxen. - Okay.

39. He hurt himself playing baseball in high school, his elbow and his knees.

40. - Right elbow and his left knee. - What about antidepressants?

41. - No. - Yes.

42. He takes 135 milligrams a day of Effexor.

43. Since when?

44. - I gotta keep some confidentiality. - No, not anymore.

45. When did he start taking antidepressants?

46. Has he been particularly depressed about anything recently?

47. - Yes. - Yes.

48. A magazine article, a hatchet job that mocked everything we've been...

49. It was humiliating and he's taken it very personally.

50. Okay, I think he's been self-medicating.

51. One of the possible side-effects of Naproxen

52. is a decrease in the prostaglandin,

53. which protects the stomach lining from its own acid.

54. And he knows that. That's why he hardly ever takes it.

55. Why would he suddenly take so much?

56. To get rid of the migraine headache that comes with taking

57. too much Effexor and bourbon at the same time.

58. He took too many antidepressants?

59. I can't say for sure, but...

60. Yeah, I can say for sure.

61. We'll be keeping him here for a little while.

62. Dorothy Cooper is a 96-year-old resident of Chattanooga, Tennessee,

63. and has been voting for the last 75 years.

64. This year, she's been told she can't.

65. A new law in Tennessee requires residents to show

66. a government-issued photo ID in order to vote.

67. Dorothy Cooper doesn't have a driver's license

68. because Dorothy Cooper doesn't have a car.

69. Dorothy Cooper doesn't have a passport.

70. A vacation abroad was never in her future.

71. Tennessee isn't alone.

72. At this moment, 33 states have proposed

73. or already adopted the same voter ID laws

74. that have disqualified Dorothy Cooper

75. from the one fundamental thing that we all do as Americans.

76. It's estimated that 11%, or roughly 20 million people,

77. don't have government-issued voter IDs

78. and will be disenfranchised this November. Why?

79. To crack down on the terrible problem of voter fraud.

80. - Roll five. - Governor Rick Perry of Texas,

81. who is about to enter the presidential primary race,

82. is serious about cracking down on the problem.

83. Making sure that there's not fraud,

84. making sure that someone's not manipulating that process

85. makes all the sense in the world to me.

86. To me, too, because voter fraud is such a huge problem

87. that during a five-year period under the Bush Administration,

88. when 196 million votes were cast,

89. the number of cases of voter fraud reached 86.

90. Not 86,000. Eighty-six.

91. Here's what that number looks like as a percentage of votes cast.

92. Four 100,000ths of a percent.

93. This would be called a solution without a problem, but it's not.

94. It's just a solution to a different problem.

95. Republicans have a hard time getting certain people to vote for them,

96. so life would be a lot easier if certain people just weren't allowed to vote at all.

97. I'm ashamed to say that 32 of the 33 voter ID laws

98. were proposed by Republican legislators

99. and passed by Republican-controlled state houses

100. and signed into law by Republican governors.

101. I am not, however, ashamed to say that I am a Republican.

102. And that brings us to tonight's second story.

103. Austerity riots in London and the FAA shutdown.

104. Mitch McConnell said the debt deal was a "hostage worth taking."

105. - That's a quote? - We're checking.

106. As of about 10 minutes ago, the Dow's down below 12,000.

107. There's a new investigation into why the Interior Department

108. hasn't collected billions in oil royalties.

109. Robert Bork is now a Romney advisor.

110. We'll get this all sorted out.

111. But let me ask, is anybody here an expert on Sex and the City?

112. The TV show or just... The TV show.

113. - Mother of Moses. - Listen, she goes out of her way

114. to take an interest in my interests and I wanna do the same.

115. - And she loves... - I know what she loves.

116. - I need a crash course. - They have tours.

117. - What do you mean? - They have Sex and the City tours.

118. Open-air buses that drive around the West Village

119. and go to all the locations and shoe stores in the show.

120. The buses are filled with women who know every line from every episode.

121. - It's three hours. - Three hours?

122. If you really wanna make Lisa happy, you'll go to Sex and the City school

123. and take the tour.

124. I don't know if I wanna make her that happy.

125. Let's start with McConnell and the hostage worth taking.

126. You were sleeping for a while.

127. Yeah.

128. That's good. You need to rest.

129. Yeah.

130. - Why did you do this? - Hey!

131. - What is wrong with you? - Stop hitting me!

132. - I've been waiting two days to hit you. - I appreciate your patience.

133. I don't want your wise-ass remarks.

134. You have to stop being so sad about this.

135. I'm not sad about it. I'm over it.

136. Uh-huh. That's why you suddenly took antidepressants.

137. You got bad press.

138. It's not the first time. It's not even the thousandth.

139. - Did you bring Jane up from Washington? - Yes.

140. - You should go back and work. - Jim's got it for a few hours.

141. - Tell me how this... - Jane needs you.

142. Jim's got it. Why is this story different from...

143. - It just is. - That's a child's answer.

144. - Did you read it? - Of course I read it.

145. It was a hatchet job from my idiot ex-boyfriend.

146. You've gotten them before.

147. You've gotten them from him before.

148. It isn't worth the weeks you've spent...

149. It's almost, it's two weeks you've been sliding...

150. - "The Greater Fool." - I read it.

151. "One CNN producer remarked, 'It's as though McAvoy is unaware

152. "'of how ridiculous he looks doing what he thinks passes

153. - "'as a Murrow impersonation."' - Will, I know what it says.

154. "A senior VP at parent company AWM laughed as he said,

155. "'Will wants to change the world and hates that the world has changed."'

156. - You know it by heart. - "It's not so much Will McAvoy is old..."

157. - Okay, this is really weird. - "... it's that he is antiquated.

158. "His premise is irrelevant and pompous."

159. - And why do you care this much? - The greater fool.

160. - Why do you care this much? - Because they're right!

161. Easy. And, no, they're not.

162. - They're right. He's right. - Being a cynic is easy.

163. - What's difficult... - Reality isn't.

164. Trust me, this piece was right about everything.

165. Stop. Enough. It's been two weeks.

166. - Get up off the damn mat. - You wanted Don Quixote?

167. This is it.

168. By the way, this is what brought him down.

169. - Nobody's brought you down. - The Knight of the Mirrors.

170. He holds up the mirror and shows him.

171. - Stop it. - Shows him!

172. I mean, he doesn't fight him with a sword.

173. He shows him with a mirror

174. what a total fool he looks like.

175. Brian was the Knight of the Mirrors, and that's the chapter we're up to.

176. Nobody's brought you down.

177. You'll get back in your chair, the red light will go on,

178. and you'll go to that place you go every time...

179. I don't think I'm coming back.

180. I don't think I am.

181. You're coming back if I have to chop you up, put you in a duffel bag,

182. and reassemble you at the anchor desk.

183. - You should answer that. - You're coming back.

184. Could be the office.

185. This is MacKenzie.

186. Why did you want to meet me?

187. I have a story I don't wanna write.

188. Then don't write it.

189. I have one source, and if I get a second one, I'll have to.

190. What is it?

191. The night of May 1st, the night we got bin Laden,

192. was Will high on the air?

193. - Was he high... - Was he high on the air?

194. - Who the hell told you that? - My first source.

195. - You got lied to. - I didn't.

196. Nina, you got lied to.

197. No. I promise, it's an unimpeachable source.

198. And if I get a second one...

199. Damn it, Nina, this is a complete lie.

200. No, listen to me. I'm trying to help you.

201. - How? - By telling you.

202. If I find a second source, I have to go to press right away.

203. - And you're giving me a heads-up? - Yeah.

204. Why?

205. Because I am.

206. You can understand my reluctance to trust you.

207. I understand everyone's reluctance to trust me.

208. - You'll have to do better than that. - I can't.

209. I don't like some of the things that I've done to Will and to you.

210. I don't like some of the things I've done to a lot of people.

211. Sorry, I don't believe you, Nina.

212. When you were little, what did you wanna do when you grew up?

213. Exactly what I'm doing.

214. I wanted to do exactly what you're doing, too.

215. There's no such thing as a little girl

216. who dreams of being a gossip columnist one day.

217. I am trying to make some changes,

218. but I'm caught in the middle of...

219. You want me to feel sorry for you?

220. No. No, I don't.

221. Then what am I supposed to do with that?

222. Make sure I don't find a second source.

223. Keep walking. I'm gonna cross the street.

224. - It's not true. - Yes, it is.

225. I'm sorry.

226. Obviously he didn't know he was gonna have to be on the air later that night.

227. - He was high for bin Laden? - Yeah.

228. - But he killed it that night. - I don't know what to tell you.

229. - He's a savant. - Who else knew?

230. Neal, Neal's girlfriend Kaylee,

231. - maybe some of the others... - There's no way they went to Nina.

232. - I already spoke to them. - I don't even need to. There's no way.

233. This is it, right?

234. This is what Reese and Leona will use to fire Will.

235. Yeah.

236. - So what are they waiting for? - A second source.

237. - Why? - I'd need two sources.

238. You're not TMI!

239. I've never seen Will this down.

240. He's talking about not coming back.

241. He's coming back. Don't lose hope.

242. - I gotta go meet a guy. - Hancock?

243. - Yeah. - What are you gonna tell him?

244. The truth.

245. Why?

246. You're not a credible witness.

247. Thirty-five years at the NSA doesn't make me a credible witness?

248. Why did they downgrade your security clearance?

249. They didn't downgrade my security clearance.

250. - They did. - They didn't.

251. I have reporters, Solomon.

252. We have pages from your CSS file.

253. He was given, the reporter,

254. he was just given those pages, right?

255. - He was just handed them? - All he had to do was ask.

256. - He was given them? - Yes, he was.

257. - Retaliation. - Solomon...

258. Retaliation for raising the hue and cry about GLOBALCLARITY.

259. Listen. Look at me. I respect you.

260. I respect what you're trying to do.

261. Nothing's harder than doing something for which you know you're gonna take shit.

262. Then why won't you just...

263. Because if you're the face of the story, you'll contaminate it.

264. Do you like beef stew?

265. - Beef stew? - You like it?

266. I guess. I don't know.

267. - What are we talking about? - I like it.

268. I used to make it for my kids on Sunday nights.

269. Sunday was my night with the kids.

270. Brown sugar and ketchup.

271. You slow-cook it for eight hours, that's the trick.

272. The kids loved it.

273. Solomon, it's shit like this that makes me nervous.

274. - Can I give you the name of a guy? - A doctor?

275. - Somebody to talk to. - I come to you with a story,

276. the NSA is illegally... And you wanna send me to a doctor.

277. I'm just being a friend.

278. I don't have friends and I don't want friends.

279. All right.

280. TMI!

281. You said you had proof they were hacking.

282. Was that a lie?

283. - Did you use that as bait so... - I don't lie.

284. I've paid for sex, yes. I tried to see my wife, yes.

285. I don't see what that has to do with anything.

286. Okay, then let me say that I've acted in good faith.

287. - No. You didn't act at all. - I've acted in good faith.

288. I'll continue to pursue the NSA story as hard as I can.

289. No, no, we had a deal. I see the NSA story on ACN,

290. and then I hand over the TMI! proof.

291. - Hand it over now. - So you can destroy it?

292. No, so I can help out a friend who's a lot like you.

293. And he will, I promise you, not rest

294. until he's reported the NSA story,

295. assuming it's as solid as you say.

296. - Then you won't need me at all. - Solomon...

297. If I give you the TMI! proof, you won't need me at all.

298. Do you know how many years it's been

299. since my kids have come over for dinner on Sunday?

300. No.

301. Adding further to investors' jitters, Wall Street is waiting for Friday's jobs report.

302. But some optimists I've talked to

303. expect the report to show that the US created 75,000 jobs in July

304. and the unemployment rate may hold steady at 9.2%.

305. For more on that, ACN financial analyst Kelly Slade.

306. You got a job offer?

307. - Can you wait until we're alone? - Are you considering it?

308. - I was taken to lunch. - Ah, it all starts with the lunch.

309. Thanks, Kelly, we'll be coming back to you for the Market Wrap-Up at 4:30.

310. I'm Sloan Sabbith. Now back to Robin Burnett and Best of Health.

311. And we're clear.

312. - An innocent lunch. - That's what it was.

313. - Where? - The Ocean Club.

314. - Why? - I was hungry.

315. - Hey. - An ACN poll released two days ago

316. has 42% of Americans

317. believing that when we raise the debt ceiling,

318. it means borrowing more money.

319. - That's nothing new. - I know that's nothing new!

320. - In here. - I know that's nothing new. That's my point.

321. I've been talking about it almost every night since the midterms,

322. and I haven't moved the needle at all.

323. Well, you're not gonna move it in venture capital.

324. - I'll get paid. - You're just having one of those days.

325. Will says he's not coming back.

326. Ask a boxer who's just been knocked unconscious

327. when he'd like to schedule his next bout.

328. Friday will be my last day.

329. - You've made up your mind? - Yeah.

330. Then I have three days to change your mind.

331. 42% was exactly the same number as before I started talking...

332. Maybe it would've gone higher.

333. Maybe you helped keep it at 42%.

334. - I have to get ready for Wrap-Up. - Okay.

335. Wait.

336. Nah, it's all right.

337. - No, wait. No. - Okay.

338. - Yes, all right. - This can only be about Maggie.

339. I'm gonna ask her to move in with me.

340. I see.

341. First, let me say you made a very wise decision coming to me with this problem.

342. It's not a problem.

343. Well, let's see what I can do about that.

344. How would you want to be asked?

345. - To move in with a guy? - Yeah.

346. By having the guy say, "Will you marry me?"

347. Okay, well, let's just take that off the table for the moment.

348. You know, if you're living together, it makes it harder to break up.

349. - Well, that's the idea. - You have to get cartons.

350. You've been no help at all.

351. Since I'm never going to see you again after Friday,

352. - I feel like I can tell you something. - We'll see each other.

353. - Maybe not after I say what I'm going to say. - And you're not leaving.

354. I don't know who told you you're a bad guy,

355. but somebody did,

356. somebody along the way.

357. Somebody or something convinced you of it

358. because you think you're a bad guy, and you're just not.

359. I'm socially inept, but even I know that.

360. So because you're a bad guy, you try to do things

361. you think a good guy would do,

362. like committing to someone you like but maybe don't love.

363. A sweet, smart, wholesome Midwestern girl.

364. I could be wrong. I almost always am.

365. Why are you single?

366. A lot of men are intimidated by my intelligence.

367. No, seriously.

368. Because you never asked me out.

369. Caught you off-guard, didn't I?

370. Yeah, you really did.

371. - Hey, you wanted to see me? - Yeah.

372. Now I don't remember why.

373. Don and Maggie are moving in together.

374. - Yeah? - I still have to ask her.

375. Seriously? That's great! Cool.

376. I didn't... All right.

377. - Good luck. In your apartment? - Mmm?

378. You're moving in together in your apartment?

379. No, in fact, we're gonna live among the hill people.

380. I didn't know if you were gonna...

381. We'll start at my apartment.

382. Okay, so...

383. I really don't remember why I asked you to come in here, I'm sorry.

384. Don't worry about it.

385. I'll see you later.

386. You're wrong.

387. I do want to commit to Maggie.

388. Well, that's what a good guy would do.

389. Shit.

390. I was just checking this. I'll fix it.

391. Yeah, the nurse can get that back in there.

392. Does it feel like something life-threatening is happening right now?

393. - What is it I'm wearing? - I bought you some pajamas.

394. - You like them? - How did I get into them?

395. The nurse changed you into them while you were asleep.

396. - What's wrong here? - He knocked out one of his tubes.

397. - Don't play with these. - You really shouldn't.

398. She changed my clothes?

399. - Um, well... - Hey.

400. Hey! Look!

401. - Jim's here. - Yeah, I can see him, too.

402. Tell us what's happening, Jim.

403. The JPL says the Mars orbiter may have found water.

404. - Do you hear that? - Mmm-hmm.

405. - And where did they find the water? - God.

406. - On Mars. - Cool.

407. There was another lockdown at Virginia Tech, but it was a false alarm.

408. - Jim says there was another... - I am right here.

409. - How about office gossip? - Office gossip?

410. Yes.

411. Maybe you can lift Will's spirits with tales from the office.

412. Why is she talking like this?

413. Everything's pretty much the same.

414. People miss you. They're worried about you.

415. Don's asking Maggie to move in with him,

416. which is great for Don and the world.

417. They put Fresca in the vending machines.

418. - What? - The vending machines have Fresca.

419. - Maggie's moving in with Don? - He's asking her.

420. - What about the speech I gave you? - Which one?

421. - What do you mean which one? - You give a lot of...

422. "Gather ye rosebuds," Jim!

423. When I told you to gather ye rosebuds.

424. - Did you? - I did. Yes.

425. - But... - What?

426. I accidentally gathered the wrong rosebuds.

427. - What are you talking about? - I took action, the very night.

428. I went to Maggie's, but before I had a chance to say anything,

429. Lisa kissed me and we were out the door.

430. - Why? - Lisa thought I was there to see her.

431. - Why? - Classic case of

432. that happening.

433. - That was two months ago. - Yeah.

434. - And what's happened since? - I've been dating Lisa.

435. - Do you want to end up like me and him? - No!

436. Wasting time? And now he's practically dead.

437. - I'm not practically dead. - Eat some Jell-O.

438. You've got to do something before he asks her.

439. - No. - Why not?

440. It doesn't seem like a very nice thing

441. to do to Don or Maggie or Lisa.

442. So you're willing to end up like the two of us.

443. A strong, beautiful, vital woman

444. and a hollowed-out shell of a man.

445. - You know I'm awake now? - That's a dead person speaking, basically.

446. And now I'm gonna have to spend the next God knows how many hours in mourning.

447. - Please go back to work. - He will.

448. - I'm talking to you. - I will.

449. The piece was bullshit. Believe that.

450. Feel better.

451. Why was it so important to you?

452. - I think I'm gonna sleep for a while. - Why did you want the story?

453. I didn't think it was gonna come out like this.

454. Obviously, but why did you want the story in the first place?

455. - You'll say it's stupid. - Why did you want the piece?

456. At the end of Camelot...

457. - God! - See?

458. What? What happens at the end of Camelot?

459. England goes to war with France.

460. But King Arthur finds a stowaway, a young kid,

461. and he orders the kid to run from village to village,

462. telling everyone about Camelot and the Knights of the Round Table

463. so that everyone will know it's possible.

464. The magazine piece was supposed to be my young kid.

465. Do you have any life philosophy that isn't based on a musical?

466. Hey, Dulcinea, I wasn't the one who came in a year ago talking about Don Quixote.

467. It lit a fire under your ass.

468. It lit my ass on fire. That's not the same thing.

469. You have to stop telling people you're not coming back.

470. You're scaring the hell out of them.

471. - They need to be prepared. - No, they don't.

472. Everything's going to be fine.

473. Everything's going to be great.

474. - There's just one thing. - What?

475. Nina Howard has a source that knows you were high during the bin Laden broadcast.

476. She's waiting for a second source,

477. and when she has it, it'll be published.

478. And Reese and Leona will fire you and your career will end in disgrace.

479. Well, the good news is I'm already disgraced.

480. I'm pre-disgraced, so I'm disgrace-proof.

481. - Who do you think her source is? - I don't know. I don't care.

482. - I like Jell-O. - Snap out of it!

483. - Can I have the mean nurse back? - Yes.

484. - Yeah? - I've got some very bad news.

485. I'm kind of maxed out on bad news.

486. Can it wait?

487. Last night, a man rode his bicycle

488. to the middle of the Queensboro Bridge and jumped off.

489. They've just identified the body as...

490. No.

491. Solomon Hancock.

492. He killed himself last night.

493. All right.

494. Call your parents once in a while.

495. It's really not that hard.

496. Yeah.

497. I'm what the leaders of the Tea Party

498. would call a RINO. Republican In Name Only.

499. And that's ironic, because that's exactly what I think

500. about the leaders of the Tea Party,

501. because the most conservative Republicans today aren't Republicans.

502. Republicans believe in a prohibitive military.

503. We believe in a common-sense government

504. and that there are social programs enacted in the last half-century that work,

505. but there are way too many, costing way too much, that don't.

506. And we believe in the rule of law and order and free-market capitalism.

507. The Tea Party believes in loving America, but hating Americans.

508. Tea Party Congressman Allen West of Florida,

509. "I must confess when I see anyone with an Obama bumper sticker,

510. "I recognize them as a threat to the gene pool."

511. They believe in loving America, but hating its government.

512. Conservative activist Grover Norquist.

513. I don't want to abolish government,

514. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can

515. drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub.

516. And they believe that anyone who disagrees with the Tea Party

517. has sinister anti-American motives.

518. The objective of the liberals is to destroy this country.

519. The objective of the liberals is to make America mediocre.

520. Most of all, you must never,

521. under any circumstance,

522. seek to reach a compromise with your opponent

523. or do any of what Democrats and genuine Republicans both call governing.

524. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell.

525. Our top political priority over the next two years

526. should be to deny President Obama a second term.

527. And one other plank in the Tea Party platform,

528. if you're poor, it means you're either too lazy or too stupid to be rich.

529. Here's André Bauer, Tea Party leader and Lieutenant Governor of South Carolina.

530. "My grandmother was not a highly educated woman,

531. "but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals.

532. "You know why? Because they breed."

533. It's almost hard to believe Republicans can't get Dorothy Cooper to vote for them.

534. - Don't give up on this. - It's not up to me.

535. We have the guy. We've had him for 10 weeks.

536. We have a guy named Charizma.

537. Tell me where he lives and I'll kick in his door.

538. I get we only have an alias, but he fucked up once already because of his ego.

539. He'll fuck up again. Let me keep smoking him out.

540. Excuse me, Mr. Skinner. I'm sorry.

541. You can just leave that on Millie's desk.

542. She's not here right now and it was messengered.

543. It says, "Personal and Confidential."

544. They all say, "Personal and Confidential."

545. - I'll take it. - Yes, sir.

546. How are you gonna smoke him out?

547. I've already taken credit for the death threat.

548. Now let me say the FBI caught me.

549. His head will explode because he and his friends

550. know the FBI is way outclassed,

551. outnumbered and technologically behind.

552. - He'll wanna prove he didn't get caught. - Yeah.

553. And what happens then?

554. I don't know.

555. That's always my favorite answer.

556. - Charlie. - Please, don't mess around with these...

557. Go ahead.

558. - I'm sorry? - Do it.

559. Great. Thank you.

560. My name is Jenny. I'm a sophomore, and this is for all three of you.

561. Can you say in one sentence or less what...

562. - You know what I mean.

563. Can you say why America is the greatest country in the world?

564. - How are you feeling? - Very handsome.

565. The doctor says you can go home Monday

566. and come back to work in a week.

567. I like it here. Being bedridden suits me.

568. How many times do I have to tell you this guy is an idiot?

569. Hell hath no fury like the second rate. Don't you know that?

570. He quotes my colleagues, everyone I respect in news.

571. - You respect the wrong people. - No.

572. - Were any of them quoted by name? - Plenty of them.

573. Anyone that doesn't have an ax to grind with you?

574. The rest were pussy-ass, coward-ass, pussified pussies.

575. It just doesn't matter anymore.

576. You're right, it doesn't.

577. It just doesn't.

578. You wanna hear something that does?

579. I just want you to say hi to someone.

580. - Nurse Cooper. - Oh, please, not Nurse Cooper.

581. She's not nice and I think she's trying to euthanize me.

582. I heard that.

583. Nurses are the most underappreciated members of our society.

584. I've handled bigger schmucks than you.

585. - Tell him about your great-aunt. - Seriously?

586. My great-aunt Dorothy Cooper is 96 years old

587. and has been voting for 75 years.

588. Now the state of Tennessee is saying she can't vote.

589. Voter ID?

590. I wanna know what you're gonna do about that.

591. - Well, there's not a lot I... - I wanna know why I don't see it on the news.

592. Well, the reason...

593. Why did my aunt become less American

594. - because she doesn't have a car? - Yeah, that's a reasonable...

595. And why, young man, isn't this the first story on the news every night?

596. - She usually decides. - Shut up.

597. Okay.

598. I want to see this story on the news.

599. I kind of wanna see it on the news, too.

600. Will?

601. Will?

602. - The voicemail message. - What are you talking about?

603. The voicemail message that I left you that night after I got home

604. from the bin Laden broadcast? Did you play it for anyone?

605. I never got a message.

606. No, I left you that message that started,

607. "Hey, listen, it's me.

608. "I'm not just saying this because I'm high right now."

609. - Did anyone else hear that message? - I didn't hear that message.

610. Mac, there is no way that you don't remember what that message said.

611. It wouldn't be possible for me to remember what it said because I never got it.

612. And it wouldn't have been possible for me to play it

613. for someone else because I never got it.

614. Nina's first source was you.

615. - Yeah. - Guys, I don't understand.

616. And that's why TMI! is waiting for the second source.

617. - They can't reveal how they got the first. - There was no message!

618. Because your phone was hacked and they deleted it.

619. - What are you doing? - I am reporting on Dorothy Cooper.

620. You're still sick.

621. "What is illness to the body of our knight errant?

622. - "What matter wounds?

623. - "For each time he falls..."

624. What's he doing?

625. The end of Don Quixote. Put the tubes back.

626. "Each time he falls, he shall rise again.

627. "Woe to the wicked.

628. "Sancho, my armor, my sword!"

629. - Which one of us is he talking to? - Get back in bed!

630. I'm fine. Okay, I'm a little dizzy.

631. I've got alarms going off at the nurse's station.

632. - Who pulled out the IV line? - She did.

633. I need to get some information about your great-aunt.

634. We need two maps, one with every voter ID law

635. and another with Tea Party governors' wins.

636. He didn't create the recession,

637. but he made it worse and longer.

638. When he took office,

639. the economy was in recession and he made it worse.

640. An NBC reporter asks Romney why he keeps saying

641. Obama made the economy worse when it's gotten better.

642. And here's Romney's answer.

643. I didn't say that things are worse.

644. Cut the film.

645. This line that looks like Kilimanjaro shows profits for the job creators,

646. and this line that's as flat as my abs shows employment.

647. - Joey, build that graphic. - Yes, ma'am.

648. What I would say is that the news media should do

649. a penetrating exposé and take a look.

650. I wish they would.

651. I wish the American media would take a great look

652. at the views of the people in Congress and find out

653. are they pro-America or anti-America.

654. I think people would love to see an exposé like that.

655. The RNC just released an ad slamming Obama for vacation days.

656. Obama has taken 61 vacation days.

657. At this point in his first term, Reagan had taken 112

658. while George W. Bush had taken 180.

659. John Adams.

660. Thomas Jefferson.

661. James Madison.

662. George Washington.

663. The Treaty of Tripoli.

664. Go on home for the night. You look tired.

665. I'm supposed to meet Don and Lisa for dinner, but I can stay.

666. No, you look terrible. You should get some sleep.

667. I've never seen you look so bad.

668. - What are you doing? - I was being supportive.

669. - You're done for the night. - Good night.

670. - Sorry.

671. "I can't make it. Sorry.

672. "Swing by my place around midnight."

673. Is this okay with you?

674. - He's working hard. - On a Sunday?

675. Yeah, on a Sunday.

676. We've all been working all weekend.

677. And Don's been helping out and it's not even his show.

678. - What are you trying to say? - Nothing. I'm sorry.

679. What are you trying to say?

680. - In a year you've gone nowhere. - Wait, that's...

681. This is exactly what it was like when the two of you started dating.

682. "Swing by around midnight."

683. I'm not saying he needs to take a knee,

684. - but holy cow, how many times... - I get it.

685. - Do you? - Yes.

686. - Maggie. - Stop.

687. - It's hard to watch you... - It's hard to watch you!

688. What does that mean?

689. Nothing.

690. What did it mean?

691. The night you and Jim got back together.

692. When he came to our place to see me?

693. - Lisa. - What?

694. I don't...

695. Don's not sure he was there to see you.

696. What are you talking about?

697. - Nothing. - What?

698. - I'm wrong. - What do you mean

699. he might not have been there to see me?

700. You kissed him and you pulled him out the door

701. before he finished his sentence.

702. - I have to go. - No, Lisa.

703. - No, it's okay. - No, I'm sure I'm wrong.

704. - I forgot I have to be at a place. - Lisa!

705. Lisa! Lisa! Oh!

706. Are you fucking kidding me?

707. To the left is this famous brownstone

708. where Carrie Bradshaw lived, loved, and lost.

709. Thanks to Carrie, we all got to live

710. the typical life of a single woman in New York City.

711. Hey!

712. No, you didn't!

713. I'm a typical single woman in New York City!

714. I don't wear heels to work because the typical woman's job

715. doesn't exclusively involve gallery openings.

716. And I know Carrie must have made boatloads writing her 800-word column for a newspaper

717. no one's ever heard of, but I just spent my last $7

718. having a fight with my best friend

719. who, by the way, is not available at 3:00 p.m. on a Wednesday

720. to console me about some guy, because she, too, has a job.

721. - And mostly, when you fall

722. for a guy and he's going out

723. with your best friend, it doesn't work out.

724. Things get really bad!

725. Maggie?

726. Oh, no.

727. I was just...

728. I was talking about other people.

729. Stay right there.

730. - Maggie, wait! Let me off!

731. Excuse me.

732. I'm with Lisa.

733. I know.

734. And you're with Don.

735. I don't know if I want to be.

736. If Don had committed to you?

737. - He didn't. - But if he did?

738. Then neither of us would be standing here.

739. You should get some sleep.

740. You, too.

741. I have to talk to Don.

742. During Tea Party rallies and campaign speeches,

743. we've been told that America was founded as a Christian nation

744. and that if the Founding Fathers were here today, they'd tell us so.

745. Here's John Adams in the Treaty of Tripoli,

746. "As the government of the United States is not,

747. "in any sense, founded on the Christian religion."

748. And here's Thomas Jefferson,

749. "That our civil rights have no dependence on our religious opinions."

750. And here's the First Amendment to the US Constitution,

751. "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion."

752. What's more frightening than the perversion of our great history

753. is that sensible, smart, strong Republicans,

754. the very men and women who should be standing up to radical fundamentalism,

755. are so frightened of losing primary battles

756. to religious zealots that they've thrown in the towel on sanity.

757. So we get this.

758. Yes, the Constitution established

759. the United States of America as a Christian nation.

760. It's ironic because the biggest enemy of the phony Republican

761. isn't Nancy Pelosi, or Harry Reid,

762. or Hillary Clinton, or Barack Obama,

763. it's this man.

764. He said, "Heal the sick, feed the hungry,

765. "care for the weakest among us, and always pray in private."

766. "It's been over a year.

767. "I'm not your midnight girl."

768. Midnight thing.

769. Ugh. Midnight piece of ass.

770. Midnight girl.

771. "I'm not your midnight girl."

772. Not a midnight girl?

773. Your midnight girl?

774. Hi.

775. Don't say anything. Just let me talk.

776. Okay.

777. Hang on.

778. "Don, I was disappointed and embarrassed..."

779. Do you wanna come in?

780. Okay.

781. "Don, I was disappointed and..."

782. What's happening now?

783. I'm asking you to move in with me.

784. This is a key.

785. I already have a key.

786. This one's in a box.

787. I badly want to make this work.

788. Hi, you've reached the voicemail of Maggie Jordan.

789. I can't get to the phone right now,

790. but please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

791. The idea of strict or absolute separation of church and state

792. is not and never was the American model.

793. You ready?

794. Now it's a model used in countries like Turkey and France.

795. - Good evening. - Evening.

796. - Will, good to see you up and about. - Thank you.

797. Thank you for the gift basket.

798. The Tabasco and cayenne pepper.

799. I'm crazy about your sense of humor.

800. I thought you'd appreciate it.

801. And you have a body that refuses to quit.

802. If Playboy ever decided to do a "Women of NASDAQ" layout...

803. Reese tells me you were high on the air

804. while reporting on the death of Osama bin Laden.

805. It would be a tasteful layout,

806. like, "Ooh, I dropped my quarterly stockholders report."

807. You were high on the air?

808. Now, how would you know that, Reese?

809. Will, were you high on the air

810. the night we killed bin Laden?

811. I was.

812. - You're admitting it? - Could not feel my face.

813. Well...

814. You were very good.

815. - Thank you. - You're welcome, and you're fired.

816. - You can't fire him. - Yet I just did.

817. Okay, but if you do, your son's going to jail for a little while.

818. - What the hell are you talking about?

819. - You hacked my phone. - No, I didn't.

820. This will go a lot faster if you'd just say, "Yes, I did."

821. - I didn't. - We have a show in an hour.

822. - And you're fired, too. - Why is she saying you hacked...

823. - Desperation. - You hacked her phone

824. and you deleted the message from Will where he said he was high.

825. You got some proof?

826. That's how Nina Howard knew that Will was high.

827. - You got proof? - Solomon Hancock.

828. He's an NSA analyst who was giving me information

829. about illegal domestic surveillance.

830. He jumped off the Queensboro Bridge four days ago.

831. But before he did, he had this envelope sent to me.

832. It's a record of Reese ordering hacking of phones

833. belonging to MacKenzie McHale,

834. Howard Stern, Casey Anthony's lawyers,

835. and relatives of hostages killed by Somali pirates.

836. It's all here.

837. Leona, didn't you ever ask how TMI!

838. got some of the information it published?

839. - I just assumed they made it up. - They do, most of the time,

840. but Nina didn't make this up.

841. In this case, I thought that someone on the staff...

842. There's a transcript in this envelope.

843. Did you order hacking?

844. Reese?

845. I ordered that the magazine stay competitive.

846. Answer the question. Did you order...

847. Yes. All right? I did.

848. Are you out of your mind? That's a felony.

849. This is how the tabloid world works

850. and that magazine turns a profit in a competitive market.

851. And, by the way, this is what you wanted.

852. No, it's not.

853. It is not remotely what I wanted, ever.

854. Good enough?

855. Yes, of course.

856. I don't give a shit. Hand it to the FBI.

857. I'll go to jail before I'm blackmailed.

858. - You're not going to jail. - I'm not being fucking blackmailed.

859. You get your lawyers, I'll get mine.

860. Leona, you're one of us. You know you are.

861. Stand for something.

862. These guys do. They were willing to lose their jobs.

863. This guy does. He jumped off a bridge.

864. They're lying, Leona. They're just lying.

865. A bunch of fatuous, mean-spirited bigots

866. screaming platitudes about what America stands for.

867. Let's show 'em what we won't stand for.

868. Let's do the news. You and me.

869. And what about this and the tape?

870. You're gonna kill the story about Will.

871. Ours was the best coverage of the night

872. and Will anchored it beautifully.

873. No more tabloid stories,

874. and I'm gonna make it easy for you

875. because you're shutting down your tabloid.

876. You want me to shut down a profit center?

877. You reported $14 billion of net revenue last year.

878. You won't miss the $80 million from TMI!

879. And what reason do we give publicly?

880. You don't fancy yourselves the owner of a whore house.

881. You'll get terrific press.

882. You know me well enough to know I do not negotiate like this.

883. This wasn't a negotiation.

884. They're gonna do their show.

885. You think about it.

886. And whatever happens next happens next.

887. Give six months' salary to a school or something.

888. Will.

889. Don't shoot and miss.

890. Lucky for Will he's got the aim of a sharpshooter

891. who's been trained to shoot and hit the target that...

892. - You can't just start to say something with... - I know, I'm sorry.

893. We don't have to lay down for this.

894. Oh, God.

895. What?

896. It's a recipe for beef stew.

897. You can't announce your intention to not pay your bills

898. and then expect to keep your credit rating.

899. Like petulant children, the Tea Party

900. took the economy hostage and then bragged about it.

901. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell

902. to the Washington Post,

903. "I think some of our members may have thought

904. "the default issue was a hostage

905. "you might take a chance at shooting," he said.

906. "Most of us didn't think that.

907. "What we did learn is this.

908. "It's a hostage worth ransoming."

909. Will?

910. We'll be right back.

911. 2:30 back.

912. - Nice. - Bring it home.

913. Who is the girl sitting in the back of the newsroom?

914. I don't know. Listen...

915. She's been sitting there all day and all through the broadcast,

916. and I feel like I know her.

917. Yeah. "The greater fool" is actually an economic term.

918. - It's a patsy. - Thanks for that.

919. For the rest of us to profit, we need a greater fool,

920. someone who will buy long and sell short.

921. Most people spend their lives trying not to be the greater fool.

922. We toss him the hot potato.

923. We dive for his seat when the music stops.

924. The greater fool is someone with the perfect blend

925. of self-delusion and ego

926. to think that he can succeed where others have failed.

927. This whole country was made by greater fools.

928. You're staying?

929. Forty-five seconds back.

930. - Hey, Joey. - Yes, ma'am.

931. Back in the A block, did you hear the sound go out after...

932. Did I hear the sound go out after what?

933. Mac?

934. - What was the rest of the message? - What?

935. "I'm not just saying this because I'm high."

936. Saying what?

937. What was the rest of the message?

938. Hmm.

939. What was the rest of the message?

940. Ten seconds.

941. Ten seconds.

942. In three, two...

943. Ideological purity,

944. compromise as weakness,

945. a fundamentalist belief in scriptural literalism,

946. denying science, unmoved by facts,

947. undeterred by new information,

948. a hostile fear of progress,

949. a demonization of education,

950. a need to control women's bodies,

951. severe xenophobia,

952. tribal mentality, intolerance of dissent,

953. and a pathological hatred of the US government.

954. They can call themselves the Tea Party.

955. They can call themselves conservatives.

956. And they can even call themselves Republicans,

957. though Republicans certainly shouldn't.

958. But we should call them what they are.

959. The American Taliban.

960. And the American Taliban cannot survive if Dorothy Cooper is allowed to vote.

961. Terry Smith is coming up next with The Capitol Report.

962. This is News Night. I'm Will McAvoy. Good night.

963. We're clear.

964. Good job.

965. - I heard you were staying. - Yes.

966. Yeah, I will still be working here,

967. - as will you, and I am mortified.

968. We will both be working here, but we will never speak

969. or make eye contact ever again starting now.

970. I don't think that's realistic.

971. I just turned down $4 million a year

972. so that I can try to do some good by reporting the news.

973. Do I sound like someone who's living in the world of the realistic?

974. - It's really... - Starting now.

975. I gotta get ready for the 10:00.

976. - See you at Hang Chew's? - Yeah.

977. Mmm.

978. - Hello. - Hey.

979. I can't be sure, but I think you're avoiding me.

980. Lisa said you guys had a good talk.

981. Yeah.

982. She asked me who I really came to see

983. that night we got back together.

984. And you lied to her.

985. You made her very happy.

986. I figured when you didn't answer your phone...

987. You knew Don was asking me?

988. Yeah.

989. - You're a good guy. - So is Don.

990. - Jim... - You know, I'm not done with that NSA story.

991. I'm gonna make sure Hancock isn't dead for nothing.

992. What did the rest of the message say?

993. I honestly don't remember.

994. Did you know that Maggie and Don are moving in together,

995. even though Maggie should be with Jim and Don should be with Sloan?

996. How many lives must you ruin before you'll get out of the life-ruining business?

997. It's a cautionary tale.

998. Maggie is now with the wrong man.

999. - It's not gonna last. - Because true love always wins?

1000. Yeah.

1001. It was a hallucination.

1002. I got asked the question at Northwestern,

1003. "What makes America the greatest country in the world?"

1004. There was a woman who looked like you sitting in the audience.

1005. There were a lot of lights and a lot of noise in my head,

1006. and I could have sworn that the woman

1007. who looked like you

1008. was holding up a pad.

1009. - It was you? - Yep.

1010. - It was you? - Yeah.

1011. You're melting now, aren't you?

1012. Your heart is full.

1013. Just say what you're feeling.

1014. Why the fuck didn't you tell me?

1015. I was waiting for the right time!

1016. Fifteen months ago was the right time.

1017. It was you!

1018. No, it was you, Billy.

1019. I was just producing.

1020. What did the rest of the message say?

1021. There's a girl sitting in the newsroom.

1022. - Don't worry about her. - No, she looks familiar to me.

1023. She's applying for an internship. She's been waiting all day.

1024. - Why does she look familiar? - Excuse us.

1025. I'll be in the conference room.

1026. What can I do for you?

1027. Tell him, Columbo.

1028. I went on the message board

1029. and posted that I'd been caught

1030. and that I was now being used as an FBI informant.

1031. I did this in the hope of smoking out the real culprit because,

1032. you see, the only thing these people cherish

1033. more than anonymity is worldwide fame.

1034. So by both taking credit and implying we'd been defeated by...

1035. - What happened? - You got 100 new death threats.

1036. - A hundred? - Really more a protest than a threat.

1037. - Is that how the insurance company sees it? - No.

1038. - No. So we're still... - Yeah.

1039. - It was over and now it's... - Yeah.

1040. Well, I'm glad you two are on the case.

1041. Who is the girl who is applying to the internship?

1042. She looks so familiar to me.

1043. I'll tell you who she looks like. She looks exactly like...

1044. - Good show. - I don't care.

1045. Okay.

1046. - Sorority girl! - Don't be scared.

1047. - You're the girl, right? - I'm Jennifer Johnson.

1048. - Just graduated Northwestern? - Stay calm.

1049. - A year early. - You asked me that moronic question

1050. and then my world came apart and she came here

1051. and I landed in the tabloids and I got death threats

1052. and my job is constantly in jeopardy

1053. and you ruined my life?

1054. - Again, just stay calm. - Yes, that was me.

1055. What the hell are you doing here?

1056. - I'm applying for an internship. - Why?

1057. I watch the show and I read the New York Magazine article

1058. and I know what a greater fool is.

1059. And I want to be one.

1060. Camelot, she's the kid at the end of Camelot.

1061. Ask me again.

1062. I'm sorry?

1063. Ask me your idiot question again.

1064. What makes America the greatest country in the world?

1065. You do.

1066. Hire her.

1067. What did the rest of the message...

1068. Screw it.

1069. I'll just feed him another 10 cookies.

1070. Welcome to News Night.

1071. - A hundred more death threats. - Yeah.

1072. - But we're pretty sure they're not serious. - Not these hundred.

1073. But after tonight, I expect the next hundred will be very serious.

1074. What do you protect me for?

1075. 1,700 a week plus health and dental.

1076. I wouldn't take a bullet for 1,700 a week.

1077. Me neither, pal. So I've learned how to duck.

1078. Hey, it's me, Will.

1079. Listen, I swear I'm not saying this because I'm high.

1080. If the answer is no, then just do me a favor

1081. and don't call me back or bring it up or anything.

1082. But I have to tell you, I mean, after tonight,

1083. I really want to tell you that I've never stopped...