1. I can't believe it.
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2. In just 24 hours from now,
I'll be holding Mrs. Sheffield in my arms.
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3. Are you as happy as I am?
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4. This is the happiest day of my life.
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5. - Congratulations, sir.
- Thank you, Niles.
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6. Hey, what about me?
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7. I'm the woman who's making you
the happiest man in the world.
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8. Miss Fine, congratulations!
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9. What's the suitcase for?
Wait a minute, I know.
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10. If we elope now,
the sooner we get to our wedding night.
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11. Excuse me, you made me wait five years.
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12. And now, all of a sudden,
because you're in the mood,
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13. you think that I'm gonna come to you
just like that?
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14. Come to mama.
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15. So, you're so excited, you're packed
for the honeymoon already?
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16. Sweetie, I'm a Jewish woman
going on a two month cruise.
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17. Do you really think this is all
the clothes I'm going to need?
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18. Yes.
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19. Oh, boy.
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20. I wish I could stay,
but I gotta go to Ma's.
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21. - What?
- Yeah.
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22. You know, it's bad luck
for the groom to see the bride
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23. 24 hours before the ceremony.
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24. But we have the house all to ourselves.
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25. I know, but no, sweetie...
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26. Oh, God.
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27. - That's the 24 hours.
- What?
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28. Yep, that was a warning.
We only have two minutes left.
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29. I can do it in two minutes.
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30. You can?
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31. Darling, it has been five years.
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32. Let's go. You gotta get out now.
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33. Ma, we still have two minutes left.
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34. Trust me, there's only one man
who can satisfy a woman in two minutes,
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35. Colonel Sanders.
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36. She was working in a bridal shop
In Flushing, Queens
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37. Till her boyfriend kicked her out
In one of those crushing scenes
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38. What was she to do, where was she to go,
She was out on her fanny
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39. So over the bridge from Flushing
To the Sheffield's door
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40. She was there to sell makeup
But the father saw more
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41. She had style, she had flair,
She was there,
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42. That's how she became the Nanny
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43. Who would have guessed
That the girl we described
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44. Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed?
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45. Now, the father finds her beguiling,
Watch out, C.C.
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46. And the kids are actually smiling,
Such joie de vivre!
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47. She's the lady in red
When everybody else is wearing tan
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48. The flashy girl from Flushing,
The Nanny named Fran
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49. Fran, it's never gonna be like this again.
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50. Just the two of us, lying here together.
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51. God willing, Val.
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52. To think,
you were almost gonna be the last girl
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53. in our class to get married.
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54. Wouldn't that have been pathetic?
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55. Val?
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56. I know. I just figured it out.
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57. Darling, it's time
for the mother-daughter prenuptial talk.
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58. Valerie, would you go into the kitchen
and heat me up
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59. a nice big piece of apple pie?
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60. I get it, you want some privacy.
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61. No, I want pie.
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62. Darling, I knew I would be too emotional
on your wedding day,
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63. so I wrote you a letter.
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64. When did you have time to write it?
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65. On the day you were born.
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66. "My darling daughter,
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67. after 23 hours of agonizing labor...
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68. PS, I'm never letting your father
touch me again.
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69. you're finally here.
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70. Darling, this is the happiest day
of my life,
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71. until today.
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72. Your wedding day.
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73. And now, here you are, 21 years old."
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74. Kennedy was President.
We were all optimistic.
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75. Ma, you know, I don't what you to think,
just because I'm getting married,
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76. that this is gonna change
anything between us.
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77. I may be living with Maxwell,
but you'll always live in your own home.
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78. Now, go.
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79. Good night, sweetheart.
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80. Good night, Ma.
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81. Sir, with tomorrow being your wedding day,
I thought a brandy might be in order.
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82. Thank you, old man.
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83. You want one?
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84. Niles, I just hope I can live up
to Fran's expectations.
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85. You know, I haven't been with a woman
in quite some time.
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86. Well, double quite some time,
add two and welcome to my world, pal.
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87. It's just that she's so experienced.
I mean, she's been with...
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88. an Italian guy, Niles.
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89. Sir, that was five years ago.
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90. Believe me, the woman is so ready,
even an Englishman will please her.
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91. Oh, my God. These shoes don't fit,
my shoes don't fit!
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92. They gave me the wrong shoes!
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93. Those are my shoes. They're my shoes.
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94. Relax.
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95. These are her shoes.
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96. There's my shoe.
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97. - Fran.
- Yeah?
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98. Can I get you a cup of coffee?
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99. Honey, do I seem like I need a buzz?
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100. - Fran, sweetie?
- Yeah. Baby.
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101. - You know, as your bridesmaid...
- Yeah.
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102. I got you something old,
something new, something borrowed...
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103. - That's mine, Val.
- Borrowed!
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104. - The only thing that I forgot...
- Yeah?
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105. was something blue.
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106. Val,
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107. if I don't have something blue,
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108. I can't get married.
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109. Fran, you're going to choke her!
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110. Then at least
I'll have something blue, won't I?
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111. Class it up! That could be somebody
from his side of the family.
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112. Entrez.
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113. Can Maxwell's baby sister
have a word with the bride?
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114. Of course.
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115. Hello, darlings. Can we have some privacy?
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116. Here, girls. Why don't you
go tie this on to the limo?
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117. We need to have a little privacy.
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118. I just wanted to give you a warm welcome
to the Sheffield family. Welcome.
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119. I feel the love. I do.
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120. And don't let it bother you
that Mommy isn't coming today.
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121. Mommy isn't coming today?
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122. Didn't you know? But don't fret, darling.
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123. Remember how much Mommy hated Lester
when I married him?
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124. She hates me?
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125. Darling, Mommy only despised Lester
because he's my chauffeur.
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126. She despises me?
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127. Jocelyn's saying too much.
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128. Look, darling, the point is
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129. - Mommy adores Lester now.
- Good.
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130. Of course,
that could be because we're divorcing.
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131. What? You and Lester?
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132. Turned out Mommy was right.
Classes can't mix.
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133. Sure they can. You loved Lester.
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134. You loved
that he was so different from you.
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135. He was earthy and real,
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136. and from what I heard,
he was a wild animal in the bedroom.
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137. Yes.
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138. But eventually, darling, not having
anything in common becomes a real bore.
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139. Don't get me wrong,
I still enjoy the lovemaking.
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140. Just not with Lester.
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141. Darling, don't worry.
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142. It's completely different
with you and Max.
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143. I mean, Lester had no breeding.
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144. His family was utterly classless.
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145. Where's the can?
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146. I took a diuretic instead of a Tylenol.
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147. C.C.?
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148. I'm so sorry I'm late.
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149. Can you imagine me, the bride,
being late for my own wedding?
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150. Maxwell, if there was one thing
the place taught me,
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151. is that it's Nanny Fine that you love,
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152. I'm very happy for the both of you.
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153. Thank you very much, C.C.
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154. Friends, family...
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155. would you excuse me for just one moment?
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156. I'll kill her!
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157. How could you leave me standing
at that darn altar?
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158. The minute this diuretic wears off,
you're gonna get such hell.
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159. - Hello, darling.
- Hi.
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160. I don't know if you've checked
your day planner recently,
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161. but if you look under today's date,
it says,
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162. "Get married!"
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163. Don't yell at me.
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164. Can't you see I'm falling apart?
The wedding is over.
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165. God, you look incredible.
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166. Sweetheart, what do you mean,
the wedding is over?
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167. Jocelyn and Lester are getting a divorce.
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168. What does that have to do with us?
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169. Their marriage didn't work
because they're from two different worlds,
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170. just like us.
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171. I mean, you're the sophisticated,
classy Jocelyn and I'm Lester.
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172. The poor schlub who works for you.
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173. Come on, darling, you never really work.
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174. You know,
it's so wrong to make a joke now.
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175. Sweetheart, I love you.
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176. Sure, now. I mean,
now you find our differences charming.
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177. But sooner or later,
you're going to get bored with me
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178. and even though you won't admit it,
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179. I know that you're going
to be bugged by the fact that your mother
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180. - hates me.
- What?
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181. Who said my mother hates you?
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182. Your mean old sister.
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183. Come here.
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184. Fran, my darling.
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185. How can I make you understand
how much I adore you?
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186. A few examples would be good.
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187. All right,
let's start with your sense of humor.
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188. I love your vivacity,
your guilelessness, your irreverence.
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189. Can't you use words I understand?
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190. I love your pizzazz,
your fire, your passion,
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191. I love the way you get excited
over a good piece of coffee cake.
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192. Or even a bad one.
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193. And I love that smile.
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194. Do you really need more?
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195. Would you mind?
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196. You see how you make me laugh?
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197. Fran, I love the way you love.
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198. With all your heart and all your soul.
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199. The way you love the children.
How they worship you.
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200. You know, you blew into our lives
five years ago, like a whirlwind.
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201. You made us all feel alive again.
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202. For that alone, I'll love you forever.
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203. You don't think I'm pretty?
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204. Seven and a half carats.
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205. We'd like to begin the service
with a traditional Jewish prayer.
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206. Maxwell, do you promise
to love and cherish Francine
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207. in sickness and in health,
as long as you both shall live?
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208. I do.
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209. Francine?
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210. - Do you...
- I do.
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211. I'm sorry. Go ahead.
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212. Do you promise to love and cherish Maxwell
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213. in sickness and in health,
as long as you both shall live?
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214. I do.
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215. If anyone here can give good cause
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216. as to why these two should not be married,
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217. let them speak now
or forever hold their peace.
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218. By the power vested in us,
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219. we now pronounce you husband and wife.
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220. Kiss your bride!
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221. I don't want to say anything,
but could this chicken be drier?
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222. I'll take the dry chicken
over the fishy salmon.
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223. How is everything?
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224. - Delicious!
- Delicious!
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225. I'd be lying if I didn't say
I'm a little turned on.
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226. After the wedding,
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227. would you and the Countess
like to join me and Morty
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228. at the diner, for a little French toast?
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229. We just ate.
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230. Not French toast.
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231. - He's a God!
- He's a man!
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232. Guys, this is hardly the place
for a religious debate.
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233. We're talking about Sinatra.
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234. Miss Babcock.
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235. Thank you, Niles,
but you know, I'm not supposed to...
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236. do that.
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237. How many times
have you not done that tonight?
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238. About eight.
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239. Niles, now that Maxwell's taken,
my life is over.
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240. Miss Babcock,
you always underestimate yourself.
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241. You have a lot to offer a man.
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242. You're witty, you're sophisticated,
you're beautiful, you're sexy.
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243. How many times have you done that tonight?
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244. About 12.
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245. Dance with me.
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246. Okay, butler boy.
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247. - Mr. and Mrs. Sheffield!
- Hi.
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248. Everything is parfait!
Both families getting along swimmingly.
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249. Listen, who's got the energy to fight?
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250. I mean, his side is too drunk,
my side's too full.
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251. That's it, I'm leaving.
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252. Here we go.
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253. - Fran, I'm leaving.
- Why?
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254. I'm tired of these people insulting me.
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255. Uncle Stanley, please.
They don't mean any harm by it,
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256. They're just from another culture.
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257. I'm talking about our side.
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258. Stanley, you sit down!
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259. We paid for your darned vegetarian dinner,
now you eat it!
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260. Darling, what do you say
we just get out of here?
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261. We can't leave yet,
they haven't thrown the bouquet.
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262. Darling, you do that.
You're the bride, remember?
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263. And there's your silver lining.
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264. I can't believe I'm kissing a married man.
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265. How would you like
to join one in the bedroom?
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266. That would be so wrong.
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267. Oh, my God, Fran...
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268. You look exquisite in this moonlight.
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269. After 29, a girls' best light
is candle and/or moon.
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270. - I love you, my darling.
- I love you.
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271. Don't move.
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272. Don't move an inch.
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273. I want to remember you just like this.
I'll get the camera.
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274. Okay. Don't forget to put the red-eye on.
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275. Fran, I...
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276. Fran?
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277. Darling?
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278. Fran!
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279. Miss Fine!
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280. Mr. Sheffield!
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281. Fran, I'm coming! I'm coming!
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