The Nanny 5x23

Directed by Peter Marc Jacobson

Finally, after 5 long years, the wedding day has arrived.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. I can't believe it.

2. In just 24 hours from now, I'll be holding Mrs. Sheffield in my arms.

3. Are you as happy as I am?

4. This is the happiest day of my life.

5. - Congratulations, sir. - Thank you, Niles.

6. Hey, what about me?

7. I'm the woman who's making you the happiest man in the world.

8. Miss Fine, congratulations!

9. What's the suitcase for? Wait a minute, I know.

10. If we elope now, the sooner we get to our wedding night.

11. Excuse me, you made me wait five years.

12. And now, all of a sudden, because you're in the mood,

13. you think that I'm gonna come to you just like that?

14. Come to mama.

15. So, you're so excited, you're packed for the honeymoon already?

16. Sweetie, I'm a Jewish woman going on a two month cruise.

17. Do you really think this is all the clothes I'm going to need?

18. Yes.

19. Oh, boy.

20. I wish I could stay, but I gotta go to Ma's.

21. - What? - Yeah.

22. You know, it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride

23. 24 hours before the ceremony.

24. But we have the house all to ourselves.

25. I know, but no, sweetie...

26. Oh, God.

27. - That's the 24 hours. - What?

28. Yep, that was a warning. We only have two minutes left.

29. I can do it in two minutes.

30. You can?

31. Darling, it has been five years.

32. Let's go. You gotta get out now.

33. Ma, we still have two minutes left.

34. Trust me, there's only one man who can satisfy a woman in two minutes,

35. Colonel Sanders.

36. She was working in a bridal shop In Flushing, Queens

37. Till her boyfriend kicked her out In one of those crushing scenes

38. What was she to do, where was she to go, She was out on her fanny

39. So over the bridge from Flushing To the Sheffield's door

40. She was there to sell makeup But the father saw more

41. She had style, she had flair, She was there,

42. That's how she became the Nanny

43. Who would have guessed That the girl we described

44. Was just exactly What the doctor prescribed?

45. Now, the father finds her beguiling, Watch out, C.C.

46. And the kids are actually smiling, Such joie de vivre!

47. She's the lady in red When everybody else is wearing tan

48. The flashy girl from Flushing, The Nanny named Fran

49. Fran, it's never gonna be like this again.

50. Just the two of us, lying here together.

51. God willing, Val.

52. To think, you were almost gonna be the last girl

53. in our class to get married.

54. Wouldn't that have been pathetic?

55. Val?

56. I know. I just figured it out.

57. Darling, it's time for the mother-daughter prenuptial talk.

58. Valerie, would you go into the kitchen and heat me up

59. a nice big piece of apple pie?

60. I get it, you want some privacy.

61. No, I want pie.

62. Darling, I knew I would be too emotional on your wedding day,

63. so I wrote you a letter.

64. When did you have time to write it?

65. On the day you were born.

66. "My darling daughter,

67. after 23 hours of agonizing labor...

68. PS, I'm never letting your father touch me again.

69. you're finally here.

70. Darling, this is the happiest day of my life,

71. until today.

72. Your wedding day.

73. And now, here you are, 21 years old."

74. Kennedy was President. We were all optimistic.

75. Ma, you know, I don't what you to think, just because I'm getting married,

76. that this is gonna change anything between us.

77. I may be living with Maxwell, but you'll always live in your own home.

78. Now, go.

79. Good night, sweetheart.

80. Good night, Ma.

81. Sir, with tomorrow being your wedding day, I thought a brandy might be in order.

82. Thank you, old man.

83. You want one?

84. Niles, I just hope I can live up to Fran's expectations.

85. You know, I haven't been with a woman in quite some time.

86. Well, double quite some time, add two and welcome to my world, pal.

87. It's just that she's so experienced. I mean, she's been with...

88. an Italian guy, Niles.

89. Sir, that was five years ago.

90. Believe me, the woman is so ready, even an Englishman will please her.

91. Oh, my God. These shoes don't fit, my shoes don't fit!

92. They gave me the wrong shoes!

93. Those are my shoes. They're my shoes.

94. Relax.

95. These are her shoes.

96. There's my shoe.

97. - Fran. - Yeah?

98. Can I get you a cup of coffee?

99. Honey, do I seem like I need a buzz?

100. - Fran, sweetie? - Yeah. Baby.

101. - You know, as your bridesmaid... - Yeah.

102. I got you something old, something new, something borrowed...

103. - That's mine, Val. - Borrowed!

104. - The only thing that I forgot... - Yeah?

105. was something blue.

106. Val,

107. if I don't have something blue,

108. I can't get married.

109. Fran, you're going to choke her!

110. Then at least I'll have something blue, won't I?

111. Class it up! That could be somebody from his side of the family.

112. Entrez.

113. Can Maxwell's baby sister have a word with the bride?

114. Of course.

115. Hello, darlings. Can we have some privacy?

116. Here, girls. Why don't you go tie this on to the limo?

117. We need to have a little privacy.

118. I just wanted to give you a warm welcome to the Sheffield family. Welcome.

119. I feel the love. I do.

120. And don't let it bother you that Mommy isn't coming today.

121. Mommy isn't coming today?

122. Didn't you know? But don't fret, darling.

123. Remember how much Mommy hated Lester when I married him?

124. She hates me?

125. Darling, Mommy only despised Lester because he's my chauffeur.

126. She despises me?

127. Jocelyn's saying too much.

128. Look, darling, the point is

129. - Mommy adores Lester now. - Good.

130. Of course, that could be because we're divorcing.

131. What? You and Lester?

132. Turned out Mommy was right. Classes can't mix.

133. Sure they can. You loved Lester.

134. You loved that he was so different from you.

135. He was earthy and real,

136. and from what I heard, he was a wild animal in the bedroom.

137. Yes.

138. But eventually, darling, not having anything in common becomes a real bore.

139. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy the lovemaking.

140. Just not with Lester.

141. Darling, don't worry.

142. It's completely different with you and Max.

143. I mean, Lester had no breeding.

144. His family was utterly classless.

145. Where's the can?

146. I took a diuretic instead of a Tylenol.

147. C.C.?

148. I'm so sorry I'm late.

149. Can you imagine me, the bride, being late for my own wedding?

150. Maxwell, if there was one thing the place taught me,

151. is that it's Nanny Fine that you love,

152. I'm very happy for the both of you.

153. Thank you very much, C.C.

154. Friends, family...

155. would you excuse me for just one moment?

156. I'll kill her!

157. How could you leave me standing at that darn altar?

158. The minute this diuretic wears off, you're gonna get such hell.

159. - Hello, darling. - Hi.

160. I don't know if you've checked your day planner recently,

161. but if you look under today's date, it says,

162. "Get married!"

163. Don't yell at me.

164. Can't you see I'm falling apart? The wedding is over.

165. God, you look incredible.

166. Sweetheart, what do you mean, the wedding is over?

167. Jocelyn and Lester are getting a divorce.

168. What does that have to do with us?

169. Their marriage didn't work because they're from two different worlds,

170. just like us.

171. I mean, you're the sophisticated, classy Jocelyn and I'm Lester.

172. The poor schlub who works for you.

173. Come on, darling, you never really work.

174. You know, it's so wrong to make a joke now.

175. Sweetheart, I love you.

176. Sure, now. I mean, now you find our differences charming.

177. But sooner or later, you're going to get bored with me

178. and even though you won't admit it,

179. I know that you're going to be bugged by the fact that your mother

180. - hates me. - What?

181. Who said my mother hates you?

182. Your mean old sister.

183. Come here.

184. Fran, my darling.

185. How can I make you understand how much I adore you?

186. A few examples would be good.

187. All right, let's start with your sense of humor.

188. I love your vivacity, your guilelessness, your irreverence.

189. Can't you use words I understand?

190. I love your pizzazz, your fire, your passion,

191. I love the way you get excited over a good piece of coffee cake.

192. Or even a bad one.

193. And I love that smile.

194. Do you really need more?

195. Would you mind?

196. You see how you make me laugh?

197. Fran, I love the way you love.

198. With all your heart and all your soul.

199. The way you love the children. How they worship you.

200. You know, you blew into our lives five years ago, like a whirlwind.

201. You made us all feel alive again.

202. For that alone, I'll love you forever.

203. You don't think I'm pretty?

204. Seven and a half carats.

205. We'd like to begin the service with a traditional Jewish prayer.

206. Maxwell, do you promise to love and cherish Francine

207. in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?

208. I do.

209. Francine?

210. - Do you... - I do.

211. I'm sorry. Go ahead.

212. Do you promise to love and cherish Maxwell

213. in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?

214. I do.

215. If anyone here can give good cause

216. as to why these two should not be married,

217. let them speak now or forever hold their peace.

218. By the power vested in us,

219. we now pronounce you husband and wife.

220. Kiss your bride!

221. I don't want to say anything, but could this chicken be drier?

222. I'll take the dry chicken over the fishy salmon.

223. How is everything?

224. - Delicious! - Delicious!

225. I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm a little turned on.

226. After the wedding,

227. would you and the Countess like to join me and Morty

228. at the diner, for a little French toast?

229. We just ate.

230. Not French toast.

231. - He's a God! - He's a man!

232. Guys, this is hardly the place for a religious debate.

233. We're talking about Sinatra.

234. Miss Babcock.

235. Thank you, Niles, but you know, I'm not supposed to...

236. do that.

237. How many times have you not done that tonight?

238. About eight.

239. Niles, now that Maxwell's taken, my life is over.

240. Miss Babcock, you always underestimate yourself.

241. You have a lot to offer a man.

242. You're witty, you're sophisticated, you're beautiful, you're sexy.

243. How many times have you done that tonight?

244. About 12.

245. Dance with me.

246. Okay, butler boy.

247. - Mr. and Mrs. Sheffield! - Hi.

248. Everything is parfait! Both families getting along swimmingly.

249. Listen, who's got the energy to fight?

250. I mean, his side is too drunk, my side's too full.

251. That's it, I'm leaving.

252. Here we go.

253. - Fran, I'm leaving. - Why?

254. I'm tired of these people insulting me.

255. Uncle Stanley, please. They don't mean any harm by it,

256. They're just from another culture.

257. I'm talking about our side.

258. Stanley, you sit down!

259. We paid for your darned vegetarian dinner, now you eat it!

260. Darling, what do you say we just get out of here?

261. We can't leave yet, they haven't thrown the bouquet.

262. Darling, you do that. You're the bride, remember?

263. And there's your silver lining.

264. I can't believe I'm kissing a married man.

265. How would you like to join one in the bedroom?

266. That would be so wrong.

267. Oh, my God, Fran...

268. You look exquisite in this moonlight.

269. After 29, a girls' best light is candle and/or moon.

270. - I love you, my darling. - I love you.

271. Don't move.

272. Don't move an inch.

273. I want to remember you just like this. I'll get the camera.

274. Okay. Don't forget to put the red-eye on.

275. Fran, I...

276. Fran?

277. Darling?

278. Fran!

279. Miss Fine!

280. Mr. Sheffield!

281. Fran, I'm coming! I'm coming!