The Nanny 5x22

Directed by Peter Marc Jacobson

Sophie Ward as Jocelyn Sheffield • Morty Drescher as Uncle Stanley • Sylvia Drescher as Aunt Rose • Anna Berger as Marilyn • Chris Hogan as Dirk

Superstition threatens to derail Fran and Maxwell's wedding.

Request examples:

!req The Nanny 5x22 [02:32]
!req The Nanny 5x22 [The Nanny 5x22]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req The Nanny 5x22 [10-11]; !req The Nanny 5x22 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. So, Dad, last day as a free man.

2. No more wild nights, no more wild women.

3. Basically, same old, same old.

4. Like father, like son, eh?

5. Yeah.

6. - Your sister, sir. - Jocelyn.

7. There's the groom.

8. Darling, handsome as ever.

9. Niles, you're always stunning.

10. Stop.

11. Press everything in my bag, would you?

12. I said, "stop".

13. So, where is she? Where's Mother?

14. She declined the invitation.

15. Seems she despises your fiancée.

16. That's ridiculous. I talked to her the other day, she said she adores Fran.

17. Abhors, darling.

18. I know it's horrid. But you know Mommy.

19. She doesn't think anyone has the class of a Sheffield.

20. Yeah, so?

21. Pick a little, talk a little

22. Cheep cheep cheep Talk a lot, pick a little more

23. Pick a little, talk a little

24. Cheep cheep cheep Talk a lot, pick a little more

25. Pick a little, talk a little

26. Cheep cheep cheep Talk a lot, pick a little more

27. In the short year that I've been here,

28. I have added a certain element of style and panache to this house.

29. When did I eat corn?

30. She loved my late wife, Sarah.

31. Absolutely. She thought she was a real stitch.

32. Yeah, right.

33. She did say "stitch".

34. Jocelyn, I can't believe this.

35. My own mother, not coming to my wedding?

36. Well, fine! See if I care.

37. I don't need her approval.

38. All right, maybe Fran was a little rough around the edges at the beginning,

39. but after five years of being exposed to the finest things in life, one grows.

40. You got the edible undies in petite?

41. Wouldn't this look adorable on me?

42. Ma, I'm getting a little scared just seeing it next to you.

43. How are we doing on time?

44. Let's see.

45. Nineteen hours and ten seconds till the big event!

46. But what about till the wedding?

47. Good, you got the piña colada in petite, that's great.

48. Ma, wait till you see the gorgeous negligee that I ordered.

49. It is so...

50. black!

51. No, no. I ordered this in white.

52. No, I'm sorry, they shipped it in black, hon.

53. But I ordered it in white, doll.

54. No can do, babe.

55. Well, doll better do, or babe will kill doll!

56. Everybody calm down.

57. Look, darling, my daughter is getting married

58. in 19 hours and nine seconds.

59. Is there something we could do,

60. to expedite... the situation?

61. Are you trying to bribe me with a candy bar?

62. Half.

63. I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do to help you.

64. The South Jersey store can't ship till Monday, you have to take the black.

65. She can't wear friggin' black, it's her wedding night.

66. She has to look like a virgin.

67. I said, "look".

68. She was working in a bridal shop In Flushing, Queens

69. Til her boyfriend kicked her out In one of those crushing scenes

70. What was she to do, where was she to go She was out on her fanny

71. So over the bridge from Flushing To the Sheffield's door,

72. She was there to sell make-up But the father saw more,

73. She had style she had flair She was there

74. That's how she became the Nanny

75. Who would have guessed That the girl we described

76. Was just exactly What the doctor prescribed?

77. Now the father finds her beguiling, Watch out C.C.

78. And the kids are actually smiling Such joie de vivre!

79. She's the lady in red When everybody else is wearing tan

80. The flashy girl from Flushing The nanny named Fran

81. We schlepped all the way to Jersey for that negligee,

82. and in two seconds he's gonna rip it off,

83. cover you with chocolate Cool Whip and ravage you.

84. Taking a little trip to Hotel Vicarious, Ma?

85. So, Sylvia, do you remember what you did the night before your wedding?

86. Yeah, I dilated three centimeters.

87. I know what I'm gonna be doing. Val's coming over,

88. we're going to get manicures and pedicures.

89. And I got those special strips that when you tear them off your nose,

90. it cleans out your whole pores.

91. I use the tape from Daddy's toupee. It works the same way.

92. Ma, I tell you, this is just fabulous. We're making incredible time here.

93. There's nobody on the road but us.

94. This shortcut of yours is just brilliant.

95. Oh, God! What was that?

96. I just wanna say that I hate you so much right now.

97. You know, it is so unwise for you to turn on me right now.

98. Because last week,

99. the exact same thing happened to that tire.

100. And I learned how to change it.

101. Val, you know how to change a tire.

102. I'm very impressed, I don't know anything about changing a tire.

103. Except...

104. - Val? - Yeah?

105. Is the spare tire over there?

106. Not so impressed with me anymore, are you, Fran?

107. How could you not replace the spare?

108. We're in the middle of nowhere, what are we gonna do?

109. I learned something. I cannot go tinkle with a raccoon watching me.

110. Sylvia, do you know anything about patching a tire?

111. What do I know from tires?

112. I'll take care of it.

113. I don't believe you two, modern liberated women of the nineties,

114. you don't know how to get a tire fixed.

115. I don't care what my mother says.

116. I know you're the one for me.

117. She is the one for you, Max.

118. - Sarah? - Hi, Max.

119. My God.

120. Have I completely lost it?

121. No, no.

122. And you are making the right decision, Max. That's why I came.

123. I want you to know how happy I am for you.

124. You are?

125. Look at your eyes.

126. Look at your smile.

127. I love what she's done for you.

128. I'm so happy to hear that, Sarah, because I'm just crazy about...

129. It's okay to love her, Max.

130. I love her too.

131. Look at what she's done for our children.

132. I will be grateful to her for the rest of my life.

133. It's an expression.

134. Sarah, my darling Sarah.

135. When I lost you, I couldn't handle anything.

136. Especially the children.

137. And then, out of nowhere, this meshugana woman...

138. It's an expression.

139. She came into our lives and,

140. for the first time, made us all smile again.

141. Okay, we gotta make Maggie beautiful.

142. Like that's gonna happen.

143. Shut up, Brighton.

144. Be nicer to your sister.

145. Why? Because we're a family?

146. Yes, that's right, and someday your father's gonna be old and sick.

147. You're gonna want him to live with her.

148. - I wrote you a poem, Fran. - You did?

149. "F" is for the fun we have together,

150. "R" is for the rummy that we play,

151. "A" is for the answers to my questions,

152. and "N" is for the nasal things you say.

153. We were in the locker room after gym...

154. And?

155. Fran, I'm smaller than everyone else.

156. Smaller? How?

157. Just forget it, it's too humiliating.

158. What could be so humiliating about being smaller in a locker room?

159. Honey, if you don't want me to go out with him, just say so.

160. I respect your feelings.

161. I don't want you to go out with him.

162. Then I won't go out with him.

163. I love you, and I'd never do anything to hurt you.

164. I love you too, Fran.

165. But, please let me go out with him.

166. I'm going to grow old and die waiting for your father.

167. Hello, sweetheart.

168. Do you like my party dress? Loehmann's, 70 percent off.

169. She'll never shop retail again.

170. - Hi, Dad. Surprised? - No tricks, Brighton.

171. Best behavior.

172. All right.

173. Come on, Maggie. Don't be shy, honey.

174. My God, I had no idea how much she looked like her mother.

175. I think you'd really like her, Sarah.

176. I do, Max.

177. Why do you think I sent her to you?

178. You sent her to me?

179. And you heard her speak?

180. I thought she had a cold.

181. - Is everything all right? - Niles, come on in.

182. Come on in. Look who's here.

183. Who, sir?

184. He can't see me, Max.

185. Would you like a drink?

186. No, thanks. It goes right through me.

187. No, I'm fine. Thank you, Niles.

188. Be happy, honey.

189. I'll always love you, Max.

190. And I'll always love you.

191. Right back at you, sir.

192. Let's stop.

193. I cannot move one more inch.

194. I'm just so parched. I need water.

195. I left the water in the trunk.

196. That's genius, Val. Now, which one of us

197. is gonna have to go all the way back and get it?

198. Fine. I'll go.

199. All right, Fran. This is starting to get really scary.

200. Remember that movie we saw where those people were starving,

201. so they started eating things they wouldn't normally eat?

202. - You mean the tape of my Bat Mitzvah? - No!

203. I mean the movie where they started eating each other.

204. Fortunately, we've got an all-you-can-eat buffet

205. pulling up the rear.

206. You're gonna be hungry until you get a mindset.

207. You gotta block out all thoughts of food

208. and pastry products.

209. You know, we've been walking for three hours.

210. How can you not be hungry?

211. Ma, did you eat my edible underwears?

212. Maybe.

213. Ma, we were going to ration my undies!

214. I was nervous. You know, I always eat when I'm nervous.

215. Nervous! Happy! Sad! Swimming!

216. Well, if no one is gonna have anymore of the cake,

217. I'm gonna put it away.

218. That's good.

219. - Out of sight, out of mind. - Smart, Ma.

220. Thanks, Ma.

221. Stop her!

222. She's got the cake!

223. Oh, my God! I'm having palpitations.

224. Quick, get me my medicine!

225. Darling, what's wrong?

226. Nothing. I just need to be with my daddy right now.

227. Why, sweetheart?

228. Oh, my God!

229. I know, isn't it awesome? I knew that you would love it.

230. No, that was a shocked and horrified "Oh, my God."

231. It's bloody awful.

232. I'm sorry, Dad, but I'm 18 years old now, and I can make my own decisions.

233. Miss Margaret, your hair! It makes you look so much younger.

234. No one will ever believe you're 18. I love it.

235. Well, I hate it. And I'm going back blonde.

236. She's easier to work than a Muppet.

237. Since you're feeling so clever,

238. maybe you can help me with a rather delicate situation?

239. Sir, who cares if your mother's not coming to the wedding?

240. Miss Fine has more class than she'll ever have.

241. Isn't it interesting how you knew of it

242. before I told you about the delicate situation?

243. You know, sir, that haircut makes you look three years—

244. Knock it off, Niles.

245. What do you think?

246. Should I tell Fran my mother's not coming to the wedding?

247. Sir, if I've waited this long to tell her, it's the least you could do.

248. Yes, hello?

249. Hello, Mrs. Torielo—

250. What?

251. Where?

252. Well, you're— I just got a pen, hang on.

253. Val, Fran and Sylvia haven't come back from New Jersey,

254. and now their car has been found abandoned on the side of the road.

255. - Oh, dear. - Yes, Mrs. Torielo, I'm here.

256. All right, good. I'm on my way.

257. Don't worry, Mrs. Torielo, I'm sure everything is just fine.

258. Yes, I'm sure you're right, sir. They're very resourceful women.

259. I'm telling you it's gonna work.

260. Remember that nature program we saw, where those bears

261. made a spout in the trees, so syrup would come out so they could eat?

262. Val, those bears were Yogi and Boo-Boo.

263. I cannot believe this is the night before my wedding

264. and I'm stuck on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere,

265. with you, my mother and that stupid snake.

266. A snake!

267. Run away!

268. - I hate snakes. Oh, my God! - Oh, my God!

269. A call box!

270. - Call box! - A call box!

271. Oh, my God!

272. Forget it, Fran, we're all out of quarters.

273. You don't need quarters for a call box, Val.

274. I wish you'd have told me earlier, we could've used the one next to the car.

275. - Hello? - Hello.

276. Hello!

277. Is there a problem?

278. I'll say there's a problem.

279. We're stuck out here in the middle of nowhere.

280. I'm supposed to be getting married in less than 14 hours.

281. And we're starving to death, because my mother ate my underwears.

282. All right, why don't all of you stay calm?

283. We've got your call box number,

284. we'll send someone out to you in a few hours.

285. A few hours? No, sir, you don't understand.

286. I've waited five years to marry this man,

287. and it's true we had some problems in the beginning.

288. Not we, but he did. He did.

289. My family loves him and his mother adores me.

290. It's really such a beautiful story.

291. Some say it's pathetic, but I'm going with beautiful.

292. What you're really saying is you feel terrible about the whole damn thing,

293. and if you could, you'd get down on your hands and knees and apologize.

294. Miss Fine!

295. Apology accepted. Ma, pack my things. He wants me back!

296. Smile.

297. Thank you, Miss Fine.

298. Any time, Mr. Sheffield. Any time.

299. I love you.

300. So, we agree then.

301. - Friends. - Friends.

302. Fran, I love you.

303. Your father has something he wants to share with you all.

304. I've told Miss Fine I love her.

305. - What else is new? - What else is new?

306. Yes, I didn't take it back.

307. Congratulations, Miss Fine.

308. Fran.

309. Will you marry me?

310. What do you think?

311. Honey, it's a beautiful story,

312. my heart goes out to you, but I got one tow truck

313. and a wedding is not an emergency.

314. You're how old?

315. I'll send the chopper.

316. Thank you, sir. He's coming to rescue us.

317. Oh, my God! It's my son-in-law.

318. Oh, my God! Don't look, honey, you can't see me!

319. What happened? I got a call from Val's mother.

320. They found a car. I passed it down the road.

321. - There was a call box next to it. - You know what? Let's not revisit that.

322. Honey, I'm so happy that you're here.

323. - Darling, are you all right? - No, wait, stop,

324. Stay where you are. Remember?

325. You can't see me for 24 hours before the ceremony.

326. Ma, what's he wearing?

327. The cashmere, he looks gorgeous.

328. I love the cashmere.

329. Ma, you're not wearing a bra?

330. In case I die, I'm gonna go free and happy.

331. Sweetie, go run over and pull the car here,

332. but whatever you do, don't look at me.

333. Darling, it's a two-hour drive. How can I possibly not look at you?

334. Just keep your eyes fixated on me.

335. It'll be like a glimpse into the future.

336. Now, come here, sweetie, and give us a hug.

337. You know, this edible underwear is not all that bad.

338. Ma, that's not the edible one.