The Nanny 4x22

Directed by Dorothy Lyman

Rachel Chagall as Val Toriello • Ivana Miličević as Tasha • Jayne Meadows as Jayne Meadows • Lois Chiles as Elaine

Fran convinces a rock star to let her be her muse.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. I just love MTV.

2. Have you seen Olivia Newton-John's latest hit, "Let's Get Physical"?

3. Have you seen MTV since 1982?

4. Do you have a prayer of ever going out on another date before you're 40?

5. Do I?

6. Fran, look, there's Tasha.

7. You've gotta see this video. I love her.

8. She's so angry and bitter.

9. Honey, if angry and bitter is what turns you on,

10. just come to my next bridesmaid's fitting.

11. Margaret. Listening to angst-ridden youth rock

12. before the limo takes you to figure skating class?

13. Daddy, Tasha's lyrics speak to a lot of people.

14. Yeah, especially her latest hit song,

15. "I'm Going to Grow Old and Die Waiting for You."

16. - No, Tasha never wrote anything like— - Honey, learn to figure eight, would you?

17. At least Tasha has a creative outlet for her angst.

18. Maybe I should write a hit song.

19. I mean, if misery is what gets you a hit record,

20. my diary is Sergeant Pepper.

21. Miss Fine.

22. - What? - You, write a hit song?

23. - Yes. - Miss Fine, take it from someone

24. in showbiz.

25. It takes ability. It takes talent.

26. It takes a sixth sense to know when you got a hit.

27. This from a man who cast Debby Boone

28. as Yentl, the Yeshiva Boy?

29. I can't believe you're being so unsupportive.

30. I finally find something I'm good at, and all of a sudden—

31. Good at? You haven't even done it yet.

32. - Well, I have a sixth sense. - You're insane.

33. Come on, Miss Fine.

34. Just stay out of my space, please.

35. First of all, it happens to be my space and my couch, my table,

36. my nanny.

37. So, now I'm your nanny.

38. Well, excuse me, but I belong to no man.

39. And if you don't believe me, you just ask my mother.

40. She was working in a bridal shop In Flushing, Queens

41. 'Til her boyfriend kicked her out In one of those crushing scenes

42. What was she to do, where was she to go? She was out on her fanny

43. So, over the bridge from Flushing To the Sheffields' door

44. She was there to sell makeup But the father saw more

45. She had style, she had flair She was there

46. That's how she became the Nanny

47. Who would have guessed That the girl we described

48. Was just exactly What the doctor prescribed?

49. - Now the father finds her beguiling - Watch out, C.C.

50. - And the kids are actually smiling - Such joie de vivre!

51. She's the lady in red When everybody else is wearing tan

52. The flashy girl from Flushing The Nanny named Fran

53. Fran, isn't this the coolest?

54. It's Tasha's newest song, "Twenty-five, Broke and Living at Home."

55. Maggie, this is so freaky.

56. I just wrote the exact same song last night.

57. I mean, it's not the same lyrics, it's not the same music

58. and she's six feet tall, but I'm telling you, this is me.

59. - Nanny Fine. - Yeah?

60. Let me give you some valuable advice.

61. Stick to what you know.

62. So, what are you telling me, I should just stay a nanny?

63. I said, stick to what you know.

64. I don't care what she says.

65. I am telling you, this is Tasha's next hit.

66. I just gotta get this to her.

67. I don't know, Fran, Tasha's lyrics are awfully dark.

68. Really? Darker than this?

69. Hate my life, I wanna be a wife

70. I'm gonna take a knife to your daddy

71. Wow, Fran, that is amazing.

72. How did you come up with that?

73. I don't know.

74. When Tasha records your song, Mr. Sheffield is gonna eat his words.

75. I know.

76. Meanwhile, waiting for Tasha after her concert was a stroke of genius.

77. We didn't even have to buy tickets or anything.

78. We didn't?

79. Oh, no, Val, do not tell me that you spent 50 bucks a ticket

80. and we're standing out here like two shmegegges.

81. - No. - Oh, good.

82. Two hundred. I got them from a scalper.

83. Please, just remember this moment

84. next time you brag about your mother doing trampoline into her eighth month.

85. Oh, stop.

86. Here comes Tasha.

87. Okay, we'll just follow her into the limo and then I'm gonna turn to her

88. and say, "Why are you Mrs. Steve Allen?"

89. Because I'm too damned old to be Mrs. Woody Allen.

90. Jayne Meadows, I love you.

91. Thank you.

92. - What are you doing here? - Yeah.

93. I just did Letterman

94. like he's never been done before.

95. Tell Steve and you're dead.

96. You know what?

97. I think we're at the Letterman theater.

98. You don't say.

99. Yeah.

100. I think we would have been better off at that stage door,

101. you know, with the mob of teenagers.

102. You mean that one over there

103. - with all the kids screaming "Tasha"? - Tasha, Tasha, Tasha!

104. Oy, Fran, she's getting in the limo.

105. Oh, no! My song! I gotta get her my song.

106. Quick, jump in this cab. Hurry.

107. Follow that limo.

108. Don't worry, honey, we'll split the fare.

109. Faster! Don't lose them.

110. Turn!

111. - Stop! - Stop!

112. Fran, how are we ever gonna get in to see Tasha?

113. What? Val, I am simply going to introduce myself

114. as a legitimate songwriter.

115. Maid service.

116. - All right. Just make it quick. - Okay.

117. Tasha's working.

118. Didn't you bring any soap, shampoo, stuff for the bathroom?

119. She wants the shampoos.

120. - Let's put them back in. - All right.

121. - Here. Here you go. - Yeah.

122. What do we do now?

123. I don't know, Val. I'm a nanny, not a maid.

124. What's the difference?

125. That is so cold, Val.

126. Let me go check now, and see what's going on in there.

127. Turn on the vacuum so it looks like we're working.

128. - There she is. - Let me see.

129. Val, shut off that vacuum!

130. What the hell is going on out here? What is all this screaming?

131. We were trained by Leona Helmsley,

132. so when we do something wrong, we must verbally abuse ourselves.

133. - Bad maid! - No good!

134. I'm done in the bathroom, if you wanna go in there.

135. No, thank you.

136. You know, we went before we left the house.

137. Man, this song sucks.

138. I am so burnt out!

139. I can't write anymore!

140. Why can't I get in touch with my anger?

141. Well, isn't that nice?

142. Now, the new girl is gonna have to make the whole bed over again.

143. I'm out of here.

144. I gotta get some stimulus.

145. I'm going to Central Park.

146. I'm completely out of touch with what's going on in the world.

147. I mean, what is this Kinko's I keep seeing?

148. What happens there?

149. Excuse me.

150. I've been to Kinko's. I'll tell you, you want a dose of reality,

151. just try getting the student discount under those fluorescent lights.

152. - Is that a hard lot. - Absolutely.

153. Who are you?

154. What's your name?

155. Concepcion.

156. Concepcion.

157. You are exactly what I've been looking for.

158. You are the voice of the people.

159. And not just the people.

160. Dogs hear me too.

161. Just put some mints on the pillow and leave.

162. Oh, no, she wants the mints now.

163. - Give them the mints. - What's the big deal?

164. - We're not getting anything for free. - I know. Nothing.

165. There you go.

166. Let's get to work, Tasha. We've got an album to put together.

167. Elaine, you are such a slave driver.

168. She never lets me out of her sight.

169. That's why I don't have one friend.

170. We'll be your friends.

171. She only wants one, Val.

172. I'm either in a hotel or on a Learjet.

173. I never talk to anyone who knows anything.

174. I need to be with the people.

175. - Hello. - Hello.

176. The downtrodden.

177. - Talk to me. - Say it, girlfriend.

178. A working-class stiff.

179. - Hallelujah. - Hallelujah.

180. Where do you think you're going?

181. Excuse me, but she needs to be around some hardship and suffering.

182. Come on, let's go back to my place.

183. Cool. Where do you live?

184. It's right on Park Avenue, next door to the French Embassy.

185. Come in.

186. Mr. Sheffield, Tasha's in the house.

187. Your friend, Val, is really cool.

188. I hope you're not insulted that she didn't come back here with us,

189. but, you know, she really hit it off with that Jayne Meadows.

190. Mr. Sheffield, Tasha's here to hear my song.

191. You're a songwriter?

192. Didn't I mention that?

193. Actually, I'm a nanny.

194. I thought you were one of the unwashed masses.

195. No, I just borrowed this from hotel laundry.

196. I guess that explains why I'm a little frühstücken.

197. First Kinko's, now frühstücken?

198. Life is passing me by.

199. I know.

200. Oh, my God.

201. Tasha, I'd like you to meet Gracie.

202. - Hello. - And Maggie.

203. And this one got accepted to Columbia University.

204. Come on, let's go.

205. Wow, what should we do now?

206. Let's hear my song. Okay. Niles.

207. You can get women.

208. Embrace your sensual energy. Simply do the—

209. - Wrong side. - Yeah, thanks.

210. Are you blind or what?

211. Are you a man or a mouse?

212. I wanna keep my pride

213. But can I still live in this house?

214. I want true love, my one real wish

215. But instead I got you You cold British fish

216. Wow, Fran, you're bad.

217. Hey, I'm down with that, T.

218. No, I mean, really bad, like frühstücken.

219. I was hoping your song was more about struggle and strife.

220. I need to get in touch with people with pain, angst, desperation.

221. Well, howdy doody?

222. Oh, my God, you didn't.

223. Yes, I did.

224. And you'll be happy to know you were right. I have no talent.

225. Tasha here hates my song.

226. It's okay, Miss Fine, you're a beginner.

227. Your talent just needs to be nurtured a bit.

228. No. She stinks.

229. How can you be so cruel?

230. Do you have any idea what this poor woman has been through?

231. Let's start with her being dumped by her fiancé.

232. She has no job skills.

233. I keep her on as a nanny, yet my children can practically vote.

234. Isn't it bad enough that she tells me I have no talent?

235. Do you have to do a recap of my whole miserable life?

236. No.

237. This stuff I can use.

238. Tell her about the time I almost married my cousin.

239. Look at your shiny new coat.

240. Been adding cod liver oil to your diet?

241. You know, Niles, you are funny.

242. You seem to have a newfound self-assurance.

243. - Really? - Yes.

244. You know, with this kind of confidence, you can get women.

245. Embrace your sensual energy.

246. - Sir, may I help you with that? - No.

247. You just stand there and look beautiful. Of course I want you to help me.

248. Why is everyone picking on me all of a sudden?

249. We're just jealous.

250. Of your sensual energy.

251. Is nothing sacred in this house?

252. That's good, coming from the captain of the Starship Yenterprise.

253. Hold this.

254. Where is Miss Fine? I wanna have a serious talk with her.

255. She's getting dressed. She's going out with Tasha.

256. Oh, God.

257. She's getting so carried away being Tasha's muse.

258. Doesn't she realize that being some star's sycophant

259. and hanger-on doesn't make her part of the creative process?

260. No. It makes you a producer.

261. You know, I wouldn't run with this new, confident Niles.

262. The old butt-kissing one had a job.

263. I didn't do my homework.

264. Why are you telling me?

265. Because I need to be punished.

266. What's the matter? The nose ring? You don't like it?

267. I can get rid of it.

268. It's a clip-on, you wimps.

269. Miss Fine, please sit down.

270. - I need to have a serious talk with you. - Okay.

271. Oh, boy, now I know why these rockers are so bitter and angry.

272. Miss Fine, sometimes I look at you and you seem so innocent.

273. Well, not tonight, but...

274. Miss Fine, I worry about you.

275. I think you're spending too much time with Tasha.

276. Look, Mr. Sheffield, I am not neglecting my duties,

277. and I have to have a creative outlet too.

278. I mean, Tasha's about to cut a new album.

279. She needs her muse.

280. - I miss you. - I'll call in sick.

281. Niles.

282. Niles!

283. I'll get it.

284. You know, we really should get more help around here. I just have a lot going on.

285. Hey, Fran. How's my muse?

286. Tashala, I'm exquisite.

287. Mr. Sheffield, can you just give me a minute?

288. Listen, honey, this really isn't a good time.

289. I think Mr. Sheffield is about to make a move.

290. But I'll give you something so you don't walk away empty-handed.

291. They cut up my credit cards at Bloomie's. There's your hook. Write a chorus.

292. You're happy. What changed?

293. Well, Mr. Sheffield said that he misses me.

294. I should have gone back into the workplace a long time ago.

295. All right. Well, then, see you around. Have a nice life.

296. Hey.

297. My fans wanna hear about broken hearts and shattered dreams.

298. I'm glad things are going so good, but that's not stuff I can use.

299. That's it, then? It's over?

300. My audience can only relate to the old you, the loser.

301. One call from my mother and I'm back.

302. Fran, chill.

303. It's okay to be happy.

304. I'm happy you're happy.

305. You're happy I'm happy?

306. Boy, I gotta get me some more Gentile friends.

307. Oh, no. Just wait a minute here.

308. - Hi, Val. - Fran, you're not gonna believe

309. - what happened to me. - What?

310. Someone took my tokens, stole my purse.

311. It's like I'm cursed.

312. Someone took my tokens

313. They stole my purse

314. It's like I'm cursed

315. Do you live with your parents?

316. Yeah, but I got privacy.

317. We just installed one of those accordion doors.

318. Do you have a boyfriend?

319. Mr. Sheffield.

320. Mr. Sheffield.

321. Mr. Sheffield.

322. There you are, Mr. Sheffield. I'm so depressed.

323. Tasha, she dumped me for Val.

324. Now she's gonna have enough material for an anthology.

325. Miss Fine, this is exactly what I was afraid of.

326. Maybe I'm not so special, maybe I'm not that creative.

327. Maybe this is as good as I get.

328. Insert a nice sentiment here.

329. Miss Fine, there is no one as special as you.

330. Mr. Sheffield, you always know when to say something sweet.

331. Here's to new creative outlets.

332. You know, Miss Fine, you're far too groovy for the music industry, anyway.

333. You know, they are using "groovy" again nowadays.

334. Yeah, but when it comes out of your mouth, it just sounds like leftovers.

335. Do you guys care if I watch MTV?

336. They're showing Tony Bennett Unplugged.

337. You know Tony Bennett?

338. Tony is the man. Would you join us in the '90s, Dad?

339. Tony Bennett.

340. You see, you're back in, Mr. Sheffield.

341. Right on. Slap me five.

342. And out you go.

343. Congratulations! You've made it to the end of tape 10.

344. And now, your most important lesson,

345. which will guarantee success with women.

346. But instead I got you You cold British fish