1. Oh my God. Oh my God.
Mr. Sheffield just called from the limo
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2. and said that he made
a big mistake six months ago
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3. and wants to talk to me about it.
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4. - Six months?
- Paris.
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5. - Plane.
- Told me that he loved me.
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6. Took it back.
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7. - Mistake.
- Mistake.
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8. - Mistake. Mistake.
- Mistake. Mistake.
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9. - He made a big mistake.
- He made a big mistake.
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10. Niles, could Miss Fine and I
have some privacy, please?
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11. - Certainly, sir.
- Thank you.
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12. So Mr. Sheffield, you said you made
some horrible mistake six months ago.
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13. That's right and I want
to make it up to you right now.
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14. One sec.
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15. - Hello?
- Hi, Ma.
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16. Sweetheart, what do you want?
We're just sitting down to eat.
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17. - Can it just wait a sec?
- No.
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18. I think you'll wanna hear this.
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19. Go ahead.
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20. Well, Miss Fine, I just had
a meeting with my accountant
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21. and I realized I took out
too much withholding tax.
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22. I owe you a refund.
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23. That was the big mistake
you made six months ago?
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24. I can't believe that's what
you lured me in here.
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25. You get rid of Niles. You call my mother.
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26. That was you.
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27. Nobody likes a finger-pointer.
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28. Why are you so upset?
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29. Because six months ago
you told me that you loved me
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30. and then you took it back and I thought
that, that was the mistake you made
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31. that you wanted to correct,
not some lousy tax refund.
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32. How much are we talking?
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33. Moving on. How can you be so insensitive?
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34. I thought you understood
why I took back what I said.
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35. I just said I understood.
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36. I was trying to appear reasonable.
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37. I thought it would turn you on.
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38. Maxwell, you are not gonna believe this.
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39. I have been summoned for jury duty.
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40. Well, that is the last time I vote.
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41. Ms. Babcock, maybe I'll go
be on that jury with you.
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42. Nanny Fine, you can't just go.
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43. It's not like Supercuts.
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44. Are you kidding? I've got
a drawer full of those things.
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45. Besides, there's nothing keeping me here.
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46. For God's sake, Miss Fine,
when are you gonna forgive me for this?
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47. Well, I'll give you a little hint.
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48. It beings with an "N"
and ends with an "A".
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49. Never.
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50. She was working in a bridal shop
In Flushing, Queens
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51. 'Till her boyfriend kicked her out
In one of those crushing scenes
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52. What was she to do, where was she to go
She was out on her fanny
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53. So over the bridge from Flushing
To the Sheffield's door
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54. She was there to sell makeup
But the father saw more
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55. She had style, she had flair
She was there
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56. That's how she became the Nanny
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57. Who would have guessed
That the girl we've described
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58. Was just exactly what
The doctor prescribed
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59. Now the father finds her beguiling
Watch out C.C.
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60. And the kids are actually smiling
Such joie de vivre
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61. She is the lady in red
When everybody else is wearing tan
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62. The flashy girl from Flushing
The Nanny named Fran
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63. Oh my God. This is the Vincenzo trial.
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64. Oh! I've just gotta get on this jury.
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65. He is on the cover
of every romance novel.
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66. - You know him?
- No. You read?
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67. Juror Number 2, I'm sorry,
but under marital status
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68. does this say "divorced"?
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69. No. "Disgusted."
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70. - And you are how old?
- Twenty-nine.
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71. Well, who's on trial here, anyway?
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72. - Good news and bad news, sir.
- Good news first.
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73. Ms. Babcock got picked as a juror
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74. and will not be returning to work
for the duration of the trial.
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75. Why is that good news for me?
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76. Not everything is about you, sir.
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77. Now, for the bad news.
Miss Fine was also picked.
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78. Well, actually that's kind of a relief.
Give her a chance to get out of the house.
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79. Meet some new people,
get a change of scenery.
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80. Keep her from killing you
for breaking her heart again?
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81. Just find a temporary
replacement, would you?
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82. Well, be careful what you wish for, sir.
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83. Say hello to your new nanny.
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84. Hear ye, hear ye.
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85. This court is now in session.
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86. The honorable
Judge Jerry Moran presiding.
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87. All rise.
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88. Be seated.
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89. You're all out.
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90. I didn't say, "Simon says."
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91. I never get tired of that.
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92. All right. Proceed.
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93. The People call Vincenzo to the stand.
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94. Sit down.
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95. Not you. Juror Number 2.
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96. Well, he yelled at me, but look at her.
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97. She pushed her chair up nice and close.
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98. Do you mind if I kick off my shoes?
My feet are a little moist.
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99. I am the meat in an idiot sandwich.
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100. Mr. Vincenzo, tell us what happened
the night you were attacked.
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101. I was asleep.
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102. My housekeeper, Kiki,
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103. hovered over my bed.
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104. I thought I was dreaming.
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105. Then that woman
just chopped all of it off.
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106. And that's why
they don't allow female mohels.
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107. Mr. Vincenzo, have you experienced
emotional distress
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108. as a result of this attack?
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109. Of course.
God knows if it will grow back.
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110. The mala femmina.
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111. My career is ruined.
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112. Look what she did to me.
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113. I like it.
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114. Lose the earring.
It's a little too Mr. Clean.
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115. Mr. Vincenzo, why would Ms. Hanson
want to attack you?
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116. I don't know.
In fact, I told her I loved her.
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117. Give her the chair. Pass it down.
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118. Your witness.
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119. Mr. Vincenzo,
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120. tell the court what you did
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121. after you told
Ms. Hanson that you loved her?
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122. I took it back.
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123. Call for a mistrial!
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124. That woman is one hundred percent
absolutely not guilty!
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125. Sorry.
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126. Okay, kids, let's play a new game.
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127. It's called "let's make Sylvia a snack."
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128. But we just played
"let's make Sylvia dinner."
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129. Yeah, but I won.
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130. Okay. Who wants to paint my nails?
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131. I do.
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132. Mamaleh, start with the big one first.
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133. They're all big.
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134. Well, that's cool.
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135. So is he cute?
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136. Really? Did he ask you out on a date?
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137. Hey, Gidget, would you get off the phone?
We're waiting for Fran to call.
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138. Well, this is Fran. Here.
She wants to talk to you.
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139. You know, my hole closed up.
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140. Could you see
if you could push this through?
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141. Hello, sweetheart.
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142. So how's the trial?
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143. Honey, they don't hang people anymore.
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144. Sure. He should rot in hell.
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145. Of course. He's guilty as sin.
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146. I thought she wasn't supposed
to discuss the trial.
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147. She's talking about you.
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148. - Just give me the phone.
- She don't wanna talk to you.
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149. You know, Mr. Sheffield,
you can't play with a woman's emotions.
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150. A woman is like a fragile,
delicate flower.
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151. There's no nail on that toe.
Paint the skin.
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152. Hey, look, the trial's on the news.
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153. At least her being on this jury
will take her mind off what I said
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154. and then, you know, took back.
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155. The Vincenzo trial heated up
when the romance novel heartthrob
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156. revealed he told his employee
he loved her, then took it back.
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157. Niles, which arm tingles
when you're about to get a heart attack?
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158. You are so vain.
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159. Not everything in Miss Fine's life
is colored by her feelings for you.
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160. The jury sat stone-faced
through Vincenzo's testimony,
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161. except for a lone juror
who had to be physically restrained.
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162. Will you hold this a minute?
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163. Just look at that poor girl.
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164. See, that is what happens when a man
tells you that he loves you
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165. and then he takes it back.
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166. Any woman in her position
would have done the exact same thing.
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167. - What are you looking for?
- My Dexatrim.
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168. Ms. Hanson, you claim not to have
a key to Vincenzo's room.
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169. Yet as his live-in maid,
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170. you must have total access
to every room in the house.
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171. This is so low, they're playing
the domestic help card.
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172. Can you tell us how your fingerprints
got onto People's Exhibit Number 6?
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173. I don't know.
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174. And how did you get
those cuts on your hands?
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175. I don't know.
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176. She's just so obviously innocent.
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177. Investigators uncovered a size eight,
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178. Manolo Blahnik stiletto heel print
at the scene.
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179. In your deposition, you claim
that you would never own
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180. such an ugly pair of shoes.
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181. How do you explain this photograph?
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182. Well, it's obviously been doctored.
I mean, those shoes are white.
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183. The crime took place after Labor Day.
There goes the whole timeline.
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184. There's a voice in here
that's really irritating me.
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185. Hey, shut up over there.
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186. You lied about these shoes.
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187. You lied about being
in his room that night.
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188. And you lied about using those scissors
to deform him, didn't you?
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189. I would never hurt Vincenzo!
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190. I knew him when he was just
Bernie Schwartzberg!
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191. Anyone else would have killed him!
All I did was cut his hair!
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192. - Did you hear that?
- I don't believe it!
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193. He's Jewish.
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194. Niles, Sylvia has been
calling for you for ten minutes.
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195. - Why haven't you answered her?
- She was calling from the tub, sir.
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196. By the way, where's my lunch?
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197. When the ingredients are combined,
she can smell them immediately.
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198. May I, sir?
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199. - Niles!
- Quick.
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200. She's onto us, sir.
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201. Don't bother to chew it.
Just swallow it whole.
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202. Do I smell dry Cotto salami
with a sweet honey mustard...
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203. on a kaiser roll?
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204. I really wanted that.
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205. You know, if Jimmy Hoffa
had a corned beef sandwich
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206. in his pocket, she'd have
found him in a week.
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207. - "Guilty."
- Yes.
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208. - "Guilty."
- Yeah.
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209. - And one "not guilty."
- Come on.
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210. Come on.
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211. Hey, lady, what part of this exactly
is it that you don't understand?
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212. The confession under oath?
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213. Or the neighbor's video
that showed her doing it?
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214. You ever hear of "guilty as sin"?
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215. Ever hear of Arrid Extra Dry?
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216. All right, Nanny Fine,
if you don't vote guilty
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217. I am gonna swing you
by the head like a dead cat!
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218. I have been stuck in that hotel room
with you for eight days.
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219. I'm singing myself to sleep
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220. with "A horse is a horse,
of course, of course."
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221. Well, excuse me.
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222. That man told her that he loved her
and then he took it back.
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223. Do you know what
that does to a person?
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224. Hasn't anybody ever driven
anyone here to commit an insane act?
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225. I can't say that ever happened.
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226. - Oh, so your kids, they call you a lot?
- No.
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227. - But they see you at least once a week?
- Once a month.
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228. And only if I beg.
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229. Oh, it's not my son.
It's that cow he married.
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230. Sometimes I just wanna shake...
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231. Not guilty.
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232. No!
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233. Could it be that you're just
a little sensitive to this shrew maid
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234. because you have some fantasy
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235. of ending up
with your employer yourself?
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236. Let she who is without fantasy
cast the first stone.
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237. And for your information,
I am completely able
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238. to separate myself from this case.
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239. Miss, did you even listen
to Vincenzo's reasons
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240. for taking back what he said? I quote:
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241. "Ms. Hanson and I had feelings
for each other
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242. but I couldn't risk the romance.
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243. She was like a mother to my children."
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244. But the kids adore me. Her! Me! Her!
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245. "My children couldn't handle
losing another mother
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246. if our relationship didn't work out."
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247. Same thing happened to me
when I was a little boy.
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248. You like a sensitive guy?
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249. Yes.
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250. I used to be one.
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251. So in other words, the reason
why he couldn't commit to her
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252. was because he was
so much in love with her,
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253. he was afraid that if he blew it,
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254. not only would it hurt the kids,
but he would lose her forever.
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255. And that's why he took back the thing.
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256. - Yes!
- Yes!
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257. - What thing?
- Shut up!
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258. Is that a southwest, barbecued
chicken on grilled sourdough
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259. with a side of shoestring fries?
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260. Could I have one little bite?
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261. It's not sanitary, sweetheart.
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262. Hold it right there.
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263. Give that southwest, barbecued
chicken on grilled sourdough
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264. with a side of shoestrings
fries back to the boy.
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265. God bless you, Fran. Welcome home.
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266. How's Mr. Sheffield?
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267. You know, he's very antisocial.
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268. The whole time I was here,
he never came out of his office.
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269. Gee, that's just like Daddy.
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270. Wonder what that's about?
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271. - Bye, sweetheart.
- Bye, Ma. Thank you.
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272. Miss Fine, you're back.
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273. Look, before we pick up where we left off
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274. I want you to remember
that I've been living
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275. with your mother for a week.
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276. I think I deserve
a little time off my sentence.
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277. Mr. Sheffield, I understand now
why you took back what you said
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278. and I'm not angry with you anymore.
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279. No, no, come on, don't toy with me,
Miss Fine. I'm weak with hunger.
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280. I'm not toying with you. Come here.
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281. Now I'm toying with you.
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282. Did you see the news?
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283. Vincenzo convinced the prosecutor
to drop the charges
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284. and just married his housekeeper.
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285. If you think that holding me tight
is gonna get you out of this one, mister,
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286. well, you're just gonna have to move
your hands a little lower.
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287. "Her alabaster skin was pressed
against his taut, muscular body.
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288. Their lips met
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289. and the two became one."
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290. Hey, this is my fantasy.
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291. But I lent you the book.
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292. Now,
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293. let's go to the chapter
where we're shipwrecked.
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