1. Niles, good.
Look, I know it's your day off,
Copy !req
2. but I need you to work.
Copy !req
3. I need you to run this ad copy,
Copy !req
4. - down to John Kennedy's office for me.
- All right.
Copy !req
5. John John?
Copy !req
6. You know, it's his day off.
Copy !req
7. Would you stop being
such a slave driver?
Copy !req
8. I'll take it to him.
Copy !req
9. And what's more, I'll make sure
that John John signs for it personally.
Copy !req
10. - That isn't necessary, Miss Fine.
- Yes, it is.
Copy !req
11. - Who's coming over?
- Elizabeth Taylor.
Copy !req
12. - Beautifully executed, sir.
- I know.
Copy !req
13. - But, where's Mr. Kennedy?
- In Singapore.
Copy !req
14. Think she'll wait for him?
Copy !req
15. Very good, sir. Very, very good.
Copy !req
16. Boys, boys, boys.
Copy !req
17. Now, do you think
that my mother gave birth
Copy !req
18. to a dummy 25 years ago?
Copy !req
19. You two wouldn't let me near
George Kennedy,
Copy !req
20. let alone John.
Copy !req
21. Now who's coming over here?
Copy !req
22. Well, it doesn't really matter, Miss Fine,
because you are not going to meet her,
Copy !req
23. him or it.
Copy !req
24. You know, I cannot believe
that you don't trust me.
Copy !req
25. I mean, I sit here cooped up
in the house all day long.
Copy !req
26. You never introduce me
to any of the stars that you know.
Copy !req
27. You never let me in any of your shows.
Copy !req
28. I have a good mind
to go get Little Ricky and...
Copy !req
29. Nanny Fine,
Copy !req
30. I need you to drop off this script,
Copy !req
31. to Antonio Banderas.
Copy !req
32. Forget it, Miss Babcock.
I already know
Copy !req
33. who's coming over here this afternoon.
Copy !req
34. - C.C—
- You told her about Elizabeth Taylor?
Copy !req
35. No. You did.
Copy !req
36. Elizabeth Taylor!
Copy !req
37. When I was a little girl,
my mother would dress me up like her
Copy !req
38. for Halloween.
Copy !req
39. All that big dark hair
and dramatic makeup,
Copy !req
40. tight little dress.
Copy !req
41. I'll tell you, the things you can get away
with when you're a kid.
Copy !req
42. She was working in a bridal shop
In Flushing, Queens
Copy !req
43. 'Til her boyfriend kicked her out
In one of those crushing scenes
Copy !req
44. What was she to do, where was she to go?
She was out on her fanny
Copy !req
45. So, over the bridge from Flushing
To the Sheffields' door
Copy !req
46. She was there to sell makeup
But the father saw more
Copy !req
47. She had style, she had flair
She was there
Copy !req
48. That's how she became the Nanny
Copy !req
49. Who would have guessed
That the girl we described
Copy !req
50. Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed?
Copy !req
51. - Now the father finds her beguiling
- Watch out, C.C.
Copy !req
52. - And the kids are actually smiling
- Such joie de vivre!
Copy !req
53. She's the lady in red
When everybody else is wearing tan
Copy !req
54. The flashy girl from Flushing
The Nanny named Fran
Copy !req
55. It's so nice to meet you, Miss Taylor.
Copy !req
56. Perfect.
Copy !req
57. Maxwell, Nanny Fine's in the living room!
Copy !req
58. Miss Fine!
Copy !req
59. I'm just seeing the kids off to school.
Copy !req
60. They left an hour ago.
Copy !req
61. Well, it's a clear day. I can see forever.
Copy !req
62. Miss Fine, what are the rules?
Copy !req
63. Niles, and only Niles,
is to answer the door.
Copy !req
64. I'm to stay away from your office, and,
Copy !req
65. I'm forbidden to create a diversion,
Copy !req
66. such as setting a small
but containable fire.
Copy !req
67. And no staged emergencies
with the children either.
Copy !req
68. Come on.
Copy !req
69. Help! I think I broke my arm.
Copy !req
70. Save it, honey. We've been busted.
Copy !req
71. Elizabeth Taylor.
Copy !req
72. I'll get it.
Copy !req
73. Hello.
Copy !req
74. Elizabeth Taylor.
Copy !req
75. - This is such an honor.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
76. I'm Fran. Look at the pretty table.
Copy !req
77. Keep looking.
Copy !req
78. Keep looking.
Copy !req
79. Forget it.
Copy !req
80. Miss Fine.
Copy !req
81. So, are you Maxwell's wife?
Copy !req
82. No. I just work for him.
Copy !req
83. Actually, I've never been married.
Copy !req
84. Not even once?
Copy !req
85. Well, you know, there was one time,
but then I thought about it...
Copy !req
86. That was your mistake, dear.
Copy !req
87. - Shouldn't you tell Maxwell I'm here?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Copy !req
88. Sure. Sure.
You know what? I'll just buzz him.
Copy !req
89. Just buzz him.
Copy !req
90. Buzz, buzz.
Copy !req
91. Miss Taylor, I have seen everything
that you've ever done.
Copy !req
92. Cleopatra, Virginia Woolf.
Copy !req
93. But you know what my favorite was?
Copy !req
94. Here's Lucy.
Copy !req
95. I'll tell you,
Copy !req
96. when your ring got stuck on her finger...
Copy !req
97. You know, I bet you a lot
of people ask you this, but,
Copy !req
98. - could I—
- No.
Copy !req
99. Okay.
Well, I'll just go hang up your coat.
Copy !req
100. Ma!
Copy !req
101. What are you doing here?
Copy !req
102. The boy let me in.
Copy !req
103. I got to meet Elizabeth Taylor.
Copy !req
104. Excuse me!
Copy !req
105. Over my dead body.
Copy !req
106. If I could meet Elizabeth Taylor,
I could retire
Copy !req
107. in Florida tomorrow.
Copy !req
108. Miss Taylor,
I'd like you to meet my mother.
Copy !req
109. Sylvia Fine.
Copy !req
110. This meeting bestows an honor upon me
Copy !req
111. which is unparalleled within my universe.
Copy !req
112. Maxwell! Thank God.
Copy !req
113. Elizabeth.
Copy !req
114. Sylvia, Miss Fine. You're fired.
Copy !req
115. Elizabeth, I'm so sorry.
I didn't know you had already arrived.
Copy !req
116. - Didn't you hear the buzzer?
- No.
Copy !req
117. Elizabeth, this is my associate,
C.C. Babcock.
Copy !req
118. Hello, Elizabeth Taylor.
Copy !req
119. I bet she isn't married.
Copy !req
120. Well,
Copy !req
121. why don't we step into my study,
have a spot of tea?
Copy !req
122. And here it is.
Copy !req
123. How do you do, Tiss Maylor?
I'm Biles, the nutler.
Copy !req
124. That's not right, is it?
Copy !req
125. This way, Elizabeth.
Just follow the nutler.
Copy !req
126. I'll be right there, Maxwell.
Copy !req
127. - Fran, could you do me a massive favor?
- Yes, yes.
Copy !req
128. I'm wearing these for a photo shoot,
Copy !req
129. to promote my new fragrance,
"Black Pearls."
Copy !req
130. - Say, could I—
- No.
Copy !req
131. Could you just call a bonded courier
Copy !req
132. and have these sent to this address?
You're a love.
Copy !req
133. Yes, my queen.
Yes. That call will get made.
Copy !req
134. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Copy !req
135. You know, sweetheart,
I wouldn't trust a courier.
Copy !req
136. - No?
- Those armed trucks
Copy !req
137. just scream, "Rob me. Rob me."
Copy !req
138. You know, you're right, Ma.
Copy !req
139. I can't trust no
bonded courier professional.
Copy !req
140. I'm gonna have to do this myself.
Copy !req
141. I can't believe, you hid in the closet.
Copy !req
142. To tell you the truth, it wasn't my idea.
Copy !req
143. Come on out, Yetta.
Copy !req
144. Excuse me.
Copy !req
145. Excuse me!
Copy !req
146. What?
Copy !req
147. You know, it isn't so much
the half-eaten McDLT
Copy !req
148. that bothers me so much.
Copy !req
149. It's the fact
that they discontinued them in '94.
Copy !req
150. Oh, my God! I didn't realize,
Copy !req
151. I had Princess Caroline of Monaco
in my back seat.
Copy !req
152. Forgive me, Your Highness.
I didn't recognize you
Copy !req
153. with your new Priscilla Presley hairdo.
Copy !req
154. Listen... Cozette?
Copy !req
155. Yeah. I'm French.
Copy !req
156. You know, there are occupations
Copy !req
157. that don't depend on tips.
Copy !req
158. What is that supposed to mean?
Copy !req
159. Well, it's just that you're,
Copy !req
160. you're a very unpleasant person,
as people go.
Copy !req
161. Well, thank you very much.
Copy !req
162. If you were trying to hurt my feelings...
Copy !req
163. You have succeeded, okay?
Copy !req
164. I mean, I have been having
a really hard week.
Copy !req
165. A lot of stress, a lot of pain.
Copy !req
166. Yeah, I'm sorry. I— I had no idea.
Copy !req
167. - What's his name? What did he do?
- Jean-Claude.
Copy !req
168. - It's my birthday, right?
- Happy birthday.
Copy !req
169. Thank you.
Copy !req
170. Do I get perfume?
Copy !req
171. - No.
- No.
Copy !req
172. Do I get flowers?
Copy !req
173. - No.
- No.
Copy !req
174. You know, I'm a woman. I'm sensitive.
Copy !req
175. I have needs.
Copy !req
176. Hey! Does it say "Wheelchair Crossing"?
Copy !req
177. Honey, you know, let me give you
just a little piece of advice,
Copy !req
178. I was just talking to my girlfriend,
Copy !req
179. Elizabeth Taylor.
Copy !req
180. Elizabeth Taylor, Hilton Wilding,
Todd Fisher,
Copy !req
181. - Burton, Burton, Warner, Fortensky?
- Burton, Burton, Warner, Fortensky?
Copy !req
182. No wonder her hips keep breaking down.
Copy !req
183. That's a good one. One for you.
Copy !req
184. Honey, your mascara's running
Copy !req
185. - just a little bit over there.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
186. - Yeah.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
187. So, let me just show you something.
You're gonna get a big kick out of this.
Copy !req
188. Red light, sweetie.
Copy !req
189. Have you ever seen anything—
Red light, honey.
Copy !req
190. Take one look at— Red light!
Copy !req
191. What could be taking that doctor so long?
Copy !req
192. Well, she couldn't have hit her head
that badly.
Copy !req
193. Her hair alone should act like
a built-in air bag.
Copy !req
194. I can't believe,
my daughter is lying in a hospital.
Copy !req
195. This isn't bad.
Copy !req
196. I don't know why everyone complains
about the food.
Copy !req
197. Don't worry. She's gonna be just fine.
Copy !req
198. But I have to warn you,
she's not quite all there.
Copy !req
199. No, no. That's normal.
Copy !req
200. She bruised her brain
and is experiencing some loss of memory.
Copy !req
201. Memory loss?
Copy !req
202. Don't worry. It'll come back.
Copy !req
203. The same thing happened to me once.
Copy !req
204. When?
Copy !req
205. When what?
Copy !req
206. Her memory will return on its own.
Copy !req
207. Just don't force it. You can see her now.
Copy !req
208. Maxwell, thank goodness.
Copy !req
209. Elizabeth Taylor's black pearls
are missing.
Copy !req
210. - And the last person who had them—
- Yeah. C.C., not now.
Copy !req
211. Miss Fine is lying in a hospital bed
with amnesia.
Copy !req
212. I'll kill her!
Copy !req
213. Hi.
Copy !req
214. - I'm Gracie.
- I'm Brighton.
Copy !req
215. I'm Maggie.
Copy !req
216. Wait a minute.
Copy !req
217. You know, this seems familiar to me.
Copy !req
218. Say, did I ever sing
on some Austrian hillside
Copy !req
219. with a really butch haircut?
Copy !req
220. - Everybody out. Out.
- Dad.
Copy !req
221. I have to speak to
the brain-bruised woman in the bed.
Copy !req
222. She does need her rest now.
Copy !req
223. Your family can come back later
and take you home.
Copy !req
224. Thank you.
Copy !req
225. So how are you?
How are you feeling?
Copy !req
226. Well, you know, I feel pretty good,
Copy !req
227. but I think that this bump
on the head really screwed
Copy !req
228. with my nasal passages.
Copy !req
229. I mean, can you imagine going
through life like this?
Copy !req
230. Please. Please, does,
Copy !req
231. does the name Elizabeth Taylor,
ring any bells?
Copy !req
232. Yes, yes, of course.
Copy !req
233. - Of course. I remember.
- Yes. Yes.
Copy !req
234. I'm Elizabeth Taylor.
Copy !req
235. No! You're not Elizabeth Taylor!
Copy !req
236. Bummer.
Copy !req
237. She doesn't remember.
Copy !req
238. Who are you?
Copy !req
239. I'm your grandma.
Copy !req
240. Boy, I'm lucky.
Copy !req
241. I think everything worked out
just the way I always thought it would.
Copy !req
242. I'm married to a great-looking guy,
Copy !req
243. and I have three gorgeous children.
Copy !req
244. Honey, you got hit on the head.
Copy !req
245. You're a little confused.
Copy !req
246. The two big ones,
Copy !req
247. are from a previous marriage.
Copy !req
248. Niles, what could she have done
with those bloody pearls?
Copy !req
249. Is there any sign
of Miss Fine's memory returning?
Copy !req
250. Well, she couldn't find her room,
Copy !req
251. but she was able to recall the numbers
on your American Express Gold Card.
Copy !req
252. Yes and your mother's maiden name.
Copy !req
253. Here, try to relax, sir.
Copy !req
254. There. I'll have your brandy and cigar.
Copy !req
255. Waiting for me, when I get out?
Copy !req
256. Yeah.
Copy !req
257. Hi, hubby.
Copy !req
258. Dear God in heaven!
Copy !req
259. Sweetie, I don't remember much
about our married life,
Copy !req
260. but I figure there's got to be a reason
Copy !req
261. why this tub is big enough for two.
Copy !req
262. Gee, I wish that would clear up.
Copy !req
263. Yes, of course, our...
Copy !req
264. Our married life.
Copy !req
265. I know I'm not supposed to jar your memory
Copy !req
266. or anything, but...
Copy !req
267. But... What?
Copy !req
268. Happy 10th anniversary, darling.
Copy !req
269. No, no! I can't do this.
Copy !req
270. Look, I'm not your husband.
Copy !req
271. Oh, my God! We're not married?
Copy !req
272. Truth is, I hired you.
Copy !req
273. I'm a hooker?
Copy !req
274. Well, that explains my shoes.
Copy !req
275. No, no. You're, you're my nanny.
You take care of my children.
Copy !req
276. But, I've got style. I've got flair.
Copy !req
277. How could I become the nanny?
Copy !req
278. Everything's upside down. Wait a minute.
Copy !req
279. You're still on Remington Steele,
aren't you?
Copy !req
280. I am not Pierce Brosnan.
Copy !req
281. I am Maxwell Sheffield,
and you are my nanny, Fran Fine.
Copy !req
282. Now, would you please get out of my bath?
Copy !req
283. Nice try, mister. You get out first.
Copy !req
284. Don't splash me!
Copy !req
285. Don't. Stop it! Stop it!
Copy !req
286. Stop! Don't! Don't!
Copy !req
287. Excuse me, sir,
Miss Babcock's on the phone for you,
Copy !req
288. but, I'll just tell her,
you'll call right back.
Copy !req
289. Right after you and Miss Fine,
get out of the Jacuzzi.
Copy !req
290. - Morning, sir.
- Morning, Niles.
Copy !req
291. There seems to be a problem
with the phones.
Copy !req
292. I unplugged them, Niles.
Copy !req
293. What if Miss Taylor should call,
looking for her pearls?
Copy !req
294. What if the person
who finds them tries to call?
Copy !req
295. Plug them back in, Niles.
Copy !req
296. Got any more bright ideas?
Copy !req
297. Good morning.
Copy !req
298. Can I ask you a question?
Copy !req
299. I have been dressing like this
for three years,
Copy !req
300. and there's nothing going on between us?
Copy !req
301. That's right. I'm your employer.
Copy !req
302. And what is it you do again?
Copy !req
303. I produce musical theater.
Copy !req
304. Now it's all making sense to me.
Copy !req
305. And you, mister,
don't you go anywhere after breakfast,
Copy !req
306. you're cleaning up the dishes.
It's part of your punishment
Copy !req
307. for cutting fourth period last Thursday.
Copy !req
308. That she remembers?
Copy !req
309. Do you recognize this man?
Copy !req
310. No.
Copy !req
311. No. No.
Copy !req
312. No. No.
Copy !req
313. Who are all those men?
Copy !req
314. They're your father.
Copy !req
315. just wearing different hair.
Copy !req
316. I just can't take this anymore.
I got to go.
Copy !req
317. I'm late for your cousin Rose's wedding.
Copy !req
318. What?
Copy !req
319. Rose the nose,
is getting married before me?
Copy !req
320. Fran?
Copy !req
321. Ma?
Copy !req
322. How much is that dress
Copy !req
323. In Macy's window?
Copy !req
324. Who cares?
Copy !req
325. It'll be at Loehmann's on sale
Copy !req
326. Fran, you're back.
Copy !req
327. Ma.
Copy !req
328. Ma, I don't believe it.
Copy !req
329. It's all coming back to me now.
Copy !req
330. I was driving along and I hit my head,
Copy !req
331. and I left Elizabeth Taylor's pearls
in the taxi, and I'm getting out of here.
Copy !req
332. You lost Elizabeth Taylor's pearls?
Copy !req
333. Well, you're the one
that told me not to use a courier.
Copy !req
334. Miss Fine.
Copy !req
335. Who are you?
Copy !req
336. Don't you remember me?
Copy !req
337. Well, you look awfully familiar, but...
Copy !req
338. Gee, I've met so many people this week.
Copy !req
339. Come on, think.
Copy !req
340. I know, you're that nice,
loving, and forgiving man.
Copy !req
341. Guess again.
Copy !req
342. You're my employer?
Copy !req
343. Guess again.
Copy !req
344. - You're my worst nightmare?
- You've got it!
Copy !req