1. It's a valentine from Ma.
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2. How do you know?
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3. Look, there's a Lee Press On Nail stuck
in the truffle.
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4. So, Fran, how come you
don't like Valentine's Day?
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5. You know, everybody makes
such a big deal
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6. about it being the most romantic day
of the year.
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7. Meanwhile, I think,
it's very commercialized
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8. and I just don't buy into it.
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9. I got a date for Valentine's Day!
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10. You know, it's the most romantic day
of the year!
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11. What is it with girls and Valentine's Day?
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12. They send you those stupid cards
and then they expect you to, like talk
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13. to them and ask them out.
Well, I'm not doing it.
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14. - No one sent you a card?
- No.
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15. How about you, Tommy?
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16. Well, we're friends and stuff
but I don't think
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17. I should be sending him a valentine.
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18. No.
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19. Honey, I— I meant,
do you have a valentine?
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20. Well, there is a girl
that I sort of like
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21. but I think she might be a little bit
out of my league.
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22. She is.
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23. So, Fran, who's your date with?
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24. Well, remember that really cute guy,
Jeff, the cop that I went out with once?
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25. Was that the date you had when I was
in the third grade or the one you had
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26. when I was in the fourth?
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27. You wanna make it to the fifth?
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28. She was working in a bridal shop
In Flushing, Queens
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29. 'Til her boyfriend kicked her out
In one of those crushing scenes
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30. What was she to do, where was she to go?
She was out on her fanny
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31. So, over the bridge from Flushing
To the Sheffields' door
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32. She was there to sell makeup
But the father saw more
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33. She had style, she had flair
She was there
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34. That's how she became the Nanny
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35. Who would have guessed
That the girl we described
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36. Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed?
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37. - Now the father finds her beguiling
- Watch out, C.C.
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38. - And the kids are actually smiling
- Such joie de vivre!
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39. She's the lady in red
When everybody else is wearing tan
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40. The flashy girl from Flushing
The Nanny named Fran
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41. Knock, knock! Happy Monday
before Valentine's Day, Mr. Sheffield.
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42. Care for a chocolate?
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43. That's caramel, that's nougat,
that's mint.
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44. - How do you know what's in them?
- I'm psychic.
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45. Don't turn them over.
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46. Miss Fine, could this sudden exuberance
for the holiday have something to do
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47. with the fact
that you actually have a date this year?
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48. Please! Come on, what do you— Yeah.
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49. - What are you doing for the holiday?
- Well, I'll be working.
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50. I don't go in
for all this Valentine's Day racket.
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51. - It's— It's so commercial.
- I used to feel that way too.
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52. In fact, not 10 minutes ago.
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53. What a difference a date makes.
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54. Good morning, everyone,
isn't it a fabulous day!
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55. Look! Miss Babcock's even
in the spirit of it.
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56. You bet I am!
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57. They finally evicted
that old lady in the apartment
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58. next to mine.
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59. We started breaking
through the bedroom wall this morning.
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60. A bigger bedroom.
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61. Aren't we being a glutton for punishment?
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62. - Don't you have something to wax?
- I put that question to you.
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63. Mr. Sheffield, I hate to think about you
sitting here all by yourself.
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64. You should be with someone you love
on Valentine's Day.
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65. Well, I appreciate your concern, Miss Fine
but truthfully, there's no one
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66. I care enough about right now
to spend Valentine's Day with.
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67. Good news. You got the day off.
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68. You know,
you're never gonna meet someone
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69. unless you take a chance.
It doesn't matter who it is.
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70. Just put yourself out there.
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71. Well, I suppose there is that lady
from the Shubert Organization.
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72. - Her?
- Her?
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73. The redhead, sir?
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74. - If she ever gets those roots done.
- Quite a figure, Niles?
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75. She should lipo her butt.
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76. No. She's lovely! It's a very good choice.
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77. Yeah, you know, the thing is,
you just do something romantic.
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78. Ask someone out! The redhead is fine!
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79. With that tuchus,
I'm sure she likes ice cream.
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80. Fran, look at all these people.
We're never gonna get on the first bus.
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81. Don't worry. I'll take care of that.
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82. Can you believe
that gorgeous two bedroom apartment
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83. on the corner there
for only 400 bucks a month?
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84. Val, could you believe
how stupid those people— Val!
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85. There is no apartment, is there?
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86. - Good, Val.
- I knew. I knew.
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87. 'Cause $400 a month is really good
for two bedrooms.
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88. - Did it have a French—
- No, Val!
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89. - I hope I have exact change.
- What's this?
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90. Looky! A Valentine's card.
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91. "Dear Miss Fine,
won't you be my valentine?
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92. Meet me at the Sutton Ice Cream Parlor
at 3 o'clock on the most romantic day
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93. of the year.
Love, your secret admirer."
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94. An anonymous valentine signed,
"Secret admirer." Who's it from?
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95. Val, you know,
there was a wood burning fireplace
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96. in that apartment.
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97. Val, look, it says, "Dear Miss Fine."
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98. This is either from Mr. Sheffield
or our old high school principal
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99. hasn't gotten over me wearing
that tube top to Earth Day.
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100. Come on, Fran.
Mr. Sheffield sent you a valentine?
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101. That's unbelievable.
- I know, isn't—
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102. No! It's not.
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103. I'm the one that put the whole idea
in his head.
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104. I'm the one that told him to take the girl
with the big bun out for ice cream.
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105. Listen, Flabbio.
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106. I want to be alone with Maxwell tonight.
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107. What's it gonna cost me
to make you disappear?
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108. Try 50 bucks.
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109. Done.
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110. No, it didn't work. I'm still here.
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111. Miss Fine.
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112. Would it be too forward of me to say,
"Whoa, baby girl"?
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113. You like? You know,
this is the most fabulous dress I own.
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114. I only wear it
when I have a very hot date.
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115. You know, Mr. Sheffield asked me
out for Valentine's Day.
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116. That's impossible.
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117. Why does everybody find that so hard
to believe?
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118. Well, it's just that,
he always tells me everything.
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119. Don't you mean, you read his mail,
listen at the door and eavesdrop
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120. on the intercom?
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121. Well, for backup.
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122. I can't believe he left me out
of the loop.
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123. I don't care for this at all.
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124. - Niles, any calls for me while I was out?
- Maybe yes, maybe no.
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125. Miss Fine, that is one sexy outfit.
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126. Well, you know, I've got a hot date.
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127. Well, he's gonna be a very lucky man.
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128. Isn't someone being Mr. Optimism?
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129. Fran, I need you to help me think
of an excuse.
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130. I've made two dates for Valentine's Day
and I've got to break one.
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131. Honey, shame on you!
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132. You know how many girls
are out there starving?
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133. Now, you're gonna finish those two dates
and I don't want to hear
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134. another word about it.
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135. Can you believe that kid?
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136. I should have two dates
on Valentine's Day.
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137. What time are you meeting Mr. Sheffield
at Sutton's?
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138. 3 o'clock.
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139. And what time are you meeting Jeff
at Dominique's?
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140. - At 2:30 p.m.
- Okay.
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141. Oh, my God! Jeff! What's this for?
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142. Well, you can't keep them both.
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143. It'll take you 20 minutes
to get across town
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144. and no one can eat a full five course meal
in under 10 minutes.
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145. You obviously have never broken
the Yom Kippur fast at my mother's house.
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146. Oh! Hi, Jeff. Thank you. You, too.
Just lucky.
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147. - What?
- Well, weren't you gonna say great dress,
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148. good to see you
and where'd you ever find a purse
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149. to match those shoes?
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150. Let's order.
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151. - All right, now, Fran.
- Yes?
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152. You know, I got the whole afternoon off
'cause I thought we'd have a nice,
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153. leisurely, romantic lunch.
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154. Absolutely. Waiter!
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155. How long does it take
to make the capellini?
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156. I recommend the tri-color fusilli con
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157. - fruta del mare—
- You know, that even takes too long
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158. to say, Sghettis. Vamatos. Vamatos.
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159. - Fran, do you have some other place to be?
- No, of course not.
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160. There's no place I'd rather be
than right here with you.
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161. Can I get you anything
while you wait?
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162. Please. I'm stuffed.
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163. I see you've got a minimum.
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164. All right.
You might as well bring me
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165. the Mount McKinley.
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166. You know, you don't have to order.
We're not that busy.
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167. That's okay.
I wouldn't want you to get into trouble.
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168. - No. Really, it's okay.
- Rules are rules, honey.
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169. Don't be stingy on the nuts.
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170. There's a gentleman here for you
and he'd like you to close your eyes.
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171. Okay.
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172. Didn't we shave close, today?
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173. Happy Valentine's Day.
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174. Tommy, that's so sweet.
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175. But, you know, if you don't mind,
I'm waiting for Mr. Sheffield
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176. and he ain't coming
because you're my secret admirer.
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177. Yeah.
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178. Honey, I— I'm very flattered.
If only you weren't 14.
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179. You know, we're six years apart.
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180. Val, Val,
I gotta stop Mr. Sheffield's valentine
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181. before I make a total fool of myself.
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182. Why? Well, remember when you suggested
that I give him a really big card?
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183. Well, I think I might have gone
a little overboard.
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184. Val, I hope you bought enough paint
'cause we're really gonna have to paint
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185. over the entire billboard.
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186. Why do you always have to go
over the top with men?
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187. I don't know.
Ordinarily, I'm not a flashy person.
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188. You know me. Less is more.
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189. Now, come on, let's go
before he gets a look at that thing
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190. - on his way to work.
- Well, I'm off to the theater.
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191. The theater where
your show is at?
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192. No, the theater where they're showing
that talking pig film.
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193. You know, every time I see it,
I discover new thing—
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194. Of course the theater where my show is!
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195. Your 4 o'clock meeting is waiting
in your office.
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196. Niles, I completely forgot it.
Who's it with again?
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197. You have your secrets. I have mine.
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198. Just what is your bloody problem?
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199. Well, if you don't know,
I'm not going to tell you.
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200. You are such a baby.
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201. - Am not.
- Are, too.
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202. Good. This ought to buy us some time.
Let's get out of here.
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203. You're back. So, how was
your secret admirer?
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204. Did he smell good? I mean, I did tell him
to shower after gym class.
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205. - You knew about this?
- Yeah.
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206. Pretty funny.
Well, guess who's picking you up
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207. from school tomorrow? My mother.
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208. So?
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209. Straight from Jazzersize
in her thong leotard.
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210. And you know, she don't wait
outside neither.
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211. She'll wanna come in
and meet all your little friends.
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212. So?
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213. Maybe she'll even do her flash dance.
You know, she's a maniac!
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214. No! I'm sorry. I'll be a good boy.
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215. Well, it is too late for that, mister.
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216. You better start watching your back
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217. and sleeping with one eye opened
and brush your teeth after every meal!
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218. - What?
- I'm still his nanny.
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219. Val, remind me next time to say it
with flowers.
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220. I don't know, Fran.
I don't see what the big deal is.
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221. I mean,
I think it was a very nice gesture.
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222. Val! If he didn't send me
a valentine card then it's gonna seem
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223. - like the act of a desperate woman.
- Yeah?
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224. Well, if Mr. Sheffield takes one look
of this, he's gonna think that I'm in love
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225. - with him.
- Aren't you?
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226. Not if he ain't in love with me!
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227. Now, come on, let's get started here.
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228. Wow! Look at the view from up here.
You could see halfway to Jersey.
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229. Wow! You can see all the way
into that apartment.
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230. They rolled down onto the floor.
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231. Okay. There they are.
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232. I am sorry but all men look great
in a Lone Ranger mask.
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233. Baby.
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234. Okay. You know what?
Let's get started. Let's do it already.
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235. - Where's the paint?
- It's down there.
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236. Why?
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237. Well, you were in such a rush
to get up here,
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238. - I felt—
- It doesn't matter!
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239. Let's just go down and get it.
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240. Now, unlock your lever when I say "Three."
Have you got that, Val? Three.
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241. No, Val!
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242. I'm okay!
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243. I landed in someone's terrace garden!
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244. There's a party inside. Lots of cute guys.
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245. Get help!
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246. And phone numbers!
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247. In fact, there's no girls, just cute guys!
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248. Get recipes.
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249. Niles, Andrew Lloyd Webber just called.
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250. It appears, I have a 40-foot valentine
from Miss Fine on a billboard
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251. in Times Square.
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252. - Isn't that amazing?
- Yes. He's a very busy man.
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253. He's got Cats and Phantom
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254. - and Sunset—
- Not that he called!
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255. Do you have any idea
why Miss Fine did this?
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256. What's it worth to you?
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257. - Your job.
- Here's the scoop.
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258. Miss Fine got a valentine
from a secret admirer to meet her
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259. at Sutton's and thought it was you.
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260. And who was it from?
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261. Brighton's friend, Tommy Altman.
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262. Did... Did she go?
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263. Oh, no, no. Really, Niles.
It's very sweet.
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264. I know, no one's ever done anything
like that for me before.
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265. - And what have I done for her?
- The usual.
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266. Belittle her Valentine Day spirit
and crush her heart beyond repair.
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267. She said that?
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268. No. I just threw that last part in
'cause you called me a baby.
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269. All right. So, where is she now?
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270. Well, she was so embarrassed
that she got you a billboard
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271. and you did nothing for her
that she'll probably be up there
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272. all night painting it over.
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273. That is one miserable way
of spending Valentine's Day.
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274. - Hello, hello!
- And here's another.
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275. Happy Valentine's Day, Maxwell.
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276. I thought while we were working,
you might want something to nibble on.
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277. C.C. This basket is perfect!
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278. Maxwell.
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279. Perhaps you should dim the lights.
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280. Maxwell!
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281. Maxwell?
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282. Niles!
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283. Oh, my God!
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284. No one is going to believe this.
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285. How long can those two keep going?
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286. Miss Fine!
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287. Mr. Sheffield,
what are you doing here?
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288. Niles told me about the sign.
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289. What sign?
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290. It was a lovely thought, Miss Fine.
Care to join me for a picnic?
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291. Here? And now? On this billboard?
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292. Well... we've certainly...
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293. - Certainly got the view.
- Yeah.
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294. Oh, good Lord! Don't look, Miss Fine.
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295. I'm so embarrassed.
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296. But you know, Miss Fine, you were right.
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297. It appears, I had forgotten
the real meaning of Valentine's Day.
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298. But seeing it all from up here...
reminds me again...
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299. of what it's all about.
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300. I'm over here, Mr. Sheffield.
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301. Right.
Well, I— I meant the billboard.
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302. You know, Miss Fine, it's—
It's been a long time
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303. since anyone's made me feel...
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304. Well, quite like this.
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305. Happy Valentine's Day, Mr. Sheffield.
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306. Happy Valentine's Day... Miss Fine.
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307. Don't panic. We're here to rescue you.
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