1. Voilà.
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2. Hurry up, kids, the limo's waiting!
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3. I love saying that.
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4. And I love hearing it.
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5. - Oh.
- Oh, I'll get it. You finish.
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6. I have finished.
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7. Look again.
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8. Good morning, Ms. Babcock.
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9. Come in. Make yourself comfortable.
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10. I see you have.
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11. You don't know.
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12. Between the boss and the kids,
who's got time to dress?
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13. Mr. Sheffield, Ms. Babcock's here!
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14. Ms. Fine, please.
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15. They've already freed Willy.
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16. Oh, don't you girls look gorgeous.
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17. We wear these same uniforms every day.
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18. Trust me. Men dream about these outfits.
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19. Come on, Brighton.
You're gonna miss the limo.
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20. Is it the stretch or the town car?
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21. Oh, what do you care? Just be grateful.
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22. Your father had to walk ten miles
in the snow to get to his limo.
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23. Good morning, everyone.
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24. - Oh, boy, don't you look handsome.
- Well, thank you.
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25. Oh, wait a minute.
You got a little schmutz.
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26. Did she just spit on that tissue,
and rub it on his face?
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27. I brushed.
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28. Okay, off you go.
Good luck on your math test.
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29. - What's six times twelve?
- Seventy-two.
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30. Yeah, that sounds right.
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31. Does my hair look okay?
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32. You're beautiful, but let's save this
for when you need a facelift.
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33. There. That's much softer.
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34. - Very pretty.
- Oh, and my headache's gone.
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35. And you have fun in school today, Gracie.
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36. How can I when the polar ice caps
are melting?
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37. Oh, don't worry about it.
I put a snorkel in your lunch box.
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38. - Now, everyone say goodbye to Daddy.
- Goodbye.
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39. Daddy? Did I miss the wedding?
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40. That twitch becomes you. Is it new?
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41. Oh. Let me fix your tie.
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42. Oh, no good?
I was trying a Double Windsor.
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43. - Churchill wore one, you know.
- He must have been hiding a goiter.
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44. Does Donna Reed ever give it a rest?
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45. Excuse me.
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46. I have some pies
I need to cool on the windowsill.
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47. Well, Nanny Fine has certainly
made herself at home.
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48. Yes. She's proving to be
an absolute treasure.
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49. How lucky for us all that you dug her up.
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50. I just hope the children
aren't getting too attached.
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51. She is the nanny, C.C.
That's kind of the point.
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52. Yes, but lately I feel like I haven't
spent any time with you and the children.
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53. CC, you've never spent any time
with me and the children.
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54. Why dwell in the past?
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55. Well, tomorrow is Ms. Fine's day off.
We could go to the zoo.
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56. The zoo?
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57. How marvelous!
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58. We'll be like one big,
happy family, you and me.
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59. - And the children.
- Of course. That goes without saying.
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60. C.C., this is a side of you
that's rather unexpected.
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61. Maxwell, I adore children.
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62. It's a natural thing. A female thing.
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63. I hear some females eat their young.
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64. She was working in a bridal shop
In Flushing, Queens
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65. 'Til her boyfriend kicked her out
In one of those crushing scenes
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66. What was she to do, where was she to go?
She was out on her fanny
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67. So over the bridge from Flushing
To the Sheffields' door
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68. She was there to sell makeup
But the father saw more
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69. She had style, she had flair She was there
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70. That's how she became the Nanny
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71. Who would have guessed
That the girl we described
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72. Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed?
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73. - Now the father finds her beguiling
- Watch out, CC
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74. - And the kids are actually smiling
- Such joie de vivre!
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75. She's the lady in red
When everybody else is wearing tan
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76. The flashy girl from Flushing
The Nanny named Fran
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77. I don't wanna go to the zoo.
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78. I had nightmares about fangs
and claws and snarling.
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79. - Gracie, they keep the animals in cages.
- She's talking about C.C.
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80. Oh, come on.
Stop being such a big, fat baby.
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81. You got a toothache, you go to a dentist.
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82. I don't have a toothache,
just slept on it wrong.
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83. Who sleeps on a tooth?
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84. Unless you're waiting for a fairy.
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85. Now, open up. Let me take a look.
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86. Ms. Fine, it's my mouth,
and I reserve the right to keep it shut.
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87. An option you might consider
from time to time.
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88. Alright, but what are you gonna do
when all your teeth fall out?
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89. I assume I'll be masticating for him.
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90. I hope you get time and a half
for that one.
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91. - Why is this water so blasted cold?
- It's the polar ice caps!
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92. Now, you see what happens
when you neglect dental hygiene?
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93. Ms. Fine, isn't this your day off?
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94. Do you have to go?
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95. Well, I'd much rather be with you, angel
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96. but I gotta be bridesmaid
to my second cousin, once removed.
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97. And believe me,
she was removed for a reason.
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98. Ms. Babcock, I presume.
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99. Good morning, children.
Good morning, Maxwell.
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100. C.C., don't you look smashing.
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101. Banana Republic?
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102. Abercrombie & Fitch, dear.
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103. Alright, so you paid double.
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104. Well, then, we're off to the zoo.
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105. One second, Maxwell. You have some crumbs.
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106. What? I did it just like she did.
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107. That's it. No zoo for you.
You're going to see a dentist.
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108. Oh, I remember a customer
in the bridal shop. She had a toothache.
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109. Turned into an abscess,
the infection got into the bloodstream.
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110. By the end of the honeymoon,
they buried her.
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111. Who's got the butter?
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112. I'm fine.
Besides, dentists don't work on Saturdays.
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113. - Oh, yeah? Well, I got an Uncle Myron.
- How did I know?
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114. Don't laugh. He's built
an entire practice on availability alone.
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115. Ms. Fine, the children were
counting on going to the zoo.
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116. Well, Ms. Babcock can still take them.
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117. This is just how my nightmare started.
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118. Oh, yeah.
Remind me to do that anytime soon.
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119. Just shut up, Brighton!
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120. There, you're home. Are you happy?
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121. Niles, get me anything,
and make it a double.
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122. Well, look who's Out of Africa.
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123. - I take it the natives were restless.
- Oh, no. We had a marvelous time.
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124. I think the highlight was when
Brighton threw up in my helmet.
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125. Oh, and it's so tricky
getting vomit out of pith.
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126. Try baking soda.
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127. Fran told you not to let me
have junk food.
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128. You insisted.
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129. Who listens to a ten-year-old?
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130. We didn't even go to the petting zoo.
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131. Is it my fault your sister
had to stop at every bathroom?
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132. She must have a bladder
the size of a walnut.
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133. Fran says it's not small.
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134. It's just tilted.
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135. I don't care if it's mounted
on a gyroscope.
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136. All day long, it's, "Fran, Fran, Fran."
If I hear the F-word one more time.
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137. Fran enjoys spending time with us.
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138. "Fran enjoys spending—"
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139. Let me tell you something
about your beloved nanny.
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140. She gets paid to spend time with you.
I did it for nothing.
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141. That's not true. Fran loves us.
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142. Gracie!
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143. By the way, I also threw up in your purse.
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144. So next week, Chuck E. Cheese?
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145. Look at me, Ma.
I look like Pat Boone's mistress.
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146. God forbid you should outshine the bride.
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147. Really, is it my fault she's a size 18?
Did I shove the doughnuts in her mouth?
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148. No. She was always jealous of you.
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149. - What are you doing?
- Putting polish on my run.
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150. Ma, you're supposed to use clear.
That looks like somebody bit you.
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151. I should be so lucky.
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152. Zip me up.
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153. Too tight?
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154. Oh, I don't know about these straps, Ma.
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155. You look like a ham.
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156. The salesgirl said I look like a dream.
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157. Maybe Oscar Mayer's.
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158. She should choke on her commission.
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159. It's six o' clock.
Comb your father's hair.
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160. Morty! We're leaving without you!
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161. Part it on the right.
It stays better in the wind.
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162. On the left is better. One eye is smaller.
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163. Be a doll, get my shoes.
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164. For crying out loud. You know, Ma,
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165. if you wore leather,
your feet wouldn't sweat.
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166. I should pay top dollar
for shoes I'm only gonna wear once?
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167. $19.95. Oh, they're perfect.
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168. Oh, they're like rocks.
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169. Take the hair in to your father
before the glue dries.
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170. Oy, too late.
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171. Who's that?
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172. Oh, it's Gracie. Ma, it's Gracie.
Honey, what are you doing here?
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173. I was in the neighborhood.
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174. Isn't she adorable.
You want a Scooter Pie?
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175. That's your first question?
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176. How did you get here? What's the matter?
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177. I missed you.
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178. Well, I missed you too, honey
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179. but you're supposed to be
at the zoo with C.C.
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180. Maybe she's allergic. You know, your
Uncle Marvin was allergic to peacocks.
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181. There are no shots for that.
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182. Ma, I see your lips moving, but I have
no idea what you're talking about.
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183. Where's your father? How did you get here?
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184. I ran away. I took a limo.
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185. I ran away, I took a banana.
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186. Are you mad at me?
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187. No, angel, but who runs
from Park Avenue to Flushing?
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188. Honey, you're running
in the wrong direction.
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189. She's running to you.
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190. Oh, I think that's
the sweetest thing I ever heard.
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191. - Now I know the love of a child.
- You could get fired from all this love.
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192. - Why? What did I do?
- She's too emotionally attached to you.
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193. No, she's not. I'm her nanny.
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194. Meanwhile, I have a girl
who comes twice a week to clean.
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195. If she left me tomorrow,
would I take a limo to Haiti?
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196. I'm telling you, it's not normal.
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197. Keep it up, Ma.
The kid's dolls are in therapy.
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198. Darling, you're home. How was the dentist?
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199. Horrible. The man is completely insane.
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200. You sound like you have
a mouth full of cotton.
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201. Oh, right.
I had to take this out when I got home.
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202. Niles.
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203. Oh, goody. Five more of these,
and I'll have a sweater.
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204. How's the pain, Maxwell?
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205. Uncle Myron filled me with so much
Novocaine it could bring down an elephant.
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206. Then went on about his grandson Robbie,
the tap-dancing genius.
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207. I kept begging for the gas.
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208. How was your day?
It has to have been better than mine.
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209. Oh, the children and I had
a marvelous time. We're much closer now.
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210. Yes. She really got Brighton
to spill his guts.
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211. Here, darling, have another cookie.
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212. - Ma, enough. She's gonna pop.
- Oh, let me spoil her.
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213. At the rate you're going,
this could be my only grandchild.
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214. Sheffield residence.
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215. - Hiya, Niles.
- Hello, Ms. Fine.
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216. - How'd you know it was me?
- Just a shot in the dark.
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217. Do me a favor. Put the boss on.
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218. Niles didn't say boo.
They have no idea she's missing.
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219. Here, try the Entenmann's.
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220. Stop forcing food down her throat.
She's not a goose. We're not making pâté.
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221. Hello, Ms. Fine.
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222. Oh, how are you, Mr. Sheffield?
Is everything okay?
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223. Oh, everything's splendid.
CC and the children had a marvelous time.
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224. Uh-huh. Well, let me talk to Gracie.
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225. - You want to speak to Gracie?
- I'll fetch her.
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226. I'll go.
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227. C.C.'s going upstairs
to look for you right now.
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228. - Well, she won't find me.
- That's right.
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229. Frankly, I had my doubts about C.C.,
but it seems she's full of surprises.
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230. Uh-huh, wait.
She's a regular box of Cracker Jack.
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231. You know, in a way,
she's a good influence on the children.
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232. Well, they can be wild sometimes,
and she's so poised and collected.
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233. She's gone!
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234. - What?
- She's gone.
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235. What do you mean "she's gone?"
Where the devil is she?
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236. I'm not sure.
I'm almost positive she came home with us.
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237. But don't you know?
C.C., she was in your care.
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238. Well, she could have sneaked out
without my seeing her.
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239. She is very small.
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240. I have to call the police.
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241. - Hi, Daddy.
- Grace get off the phone. I have to call—
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242. Gracie, you're there?
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243. I'll be right there. I'm leaving now.
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244. No, so are we.
You'll have to meet us at the wedding.
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245. Go to Leonard's on Astoria Boulevard.
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246. Park in the car wash,
ask for the Mishkin affair. Bye.
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247. L'Chaim!
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248. Oh, look. Gracie.
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249. Jeffrey Mishkin's giving you the eye.
Why don't you go have fun, angel.
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250. And don't mention global warming.
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251. Chicken. For this, I gave a $50 check.
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252. You should have given them a bond,
made them wait.
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253. Oh, Mr. Sheffield, over here.
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254. Who's the park ranger?
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255. That's his business associate.
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256. - Uh-huh.
- She wishes.
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257. Oh, Mr. Sheffield. Hi.
You remember my mother.
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258. - Mrs. Fine, charmed.
- That makes two of us.
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259. I'd like you to meet my husband.
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260. Morty!
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261. Oh, god. It's hereditary.
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262. That's nothing. On my father's side,
they all have webbed toes.
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263. But excellent swimmers.
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264. - Sylvia Fine.
- C.C. Babcock. How do you do?
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265. - Like a fish.
- Mm-hmm.
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266. Excuse me. I have to bring Morty a plate.
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267. No skin, no butter, no sauce.
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268. - Ma, Gandhi ate better than that.
- Better he should drop dead on me?
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269. Like I'd notice.
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270. Hi, Daddy.
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271. Sweetheart.
Oh, you scared me half to death.
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272. - We were worried sick.
- You didn't even know she was missing.
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273. Well, I would have been
worried sick, had I known.
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274. Honey, what happened?
Why did you run away?
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275. Well—
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276. Oh, it doesn't matter why.
All that matters is she's okay.
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277. C.C., you're smothering the child.
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278. She won't be happy
till she's finished her off.
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279. Gracie, dear, go and get your coat,
and we'll discuss this at home.
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280. But I don't want to go home. After
they cut the cake, we're having schnapps.
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281. That sounds delightful.
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282. But you see, today is Ms. Fine's day off,
and, well, we wouldn't want to intrude.
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283. - So, then it's true.
- What's true, angel?
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284. That you only spend time with me
because Daddy pays you to.
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285. What kind of a vicious, cold-hearted
imbecile would say something like that?
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286. Well, I meant it
in the nicest possible way.
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287. C.C.
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288. - Sheffield.
- Oh, god, Uncle Myron.
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289. The nightmare continues.
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290. - I want you to meet my grandson, Robbie.
- Myron, not now.
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291. Hit it.
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292. Grey skies are gonna clear up
Put on a happy face
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293. - C.C., what on earth possessed you?
- They were all ganging up on me.
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294. - So, you take it out on a six-year-old.
- She started it.
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295. Oh, that's very mature.
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296. Well, that's the pot
calling the kettle black.
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297. Now, come on the two of you.
The important thing is—
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298. - Will you shut up!
- Shut up!
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299. That was only slightly more painful
than the toothache.
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300. Meanwhile, what about poor little—?
Where's Grace?
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301. - She was right here.
- See? And you both jumped down my throat.
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302. Gracie?
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303. Looking for something?
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304. - Yeah.
- If she's three foot two and not a Jew,
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305. she's in the powder room,
crying her little eyes out.
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306. Oh, I better go talk to her.
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307. No, Ms. Fine, she's my daughter.
I'll talk to her.
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308. Maybe you better talk to her.
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309. Creep.
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310. - Gracie?
- I'm never coming out.
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311. Oh, honey.
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312. Aren't you getting a little claustrophobic
in that teeny-weeny stall?
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313. Come here, baby.
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314. Oy, one day with my mother,
and you're ready for Jenny Craig.
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315. Honey, I want you to listen to me
very carefully, okay?
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316. - Okay.
- Alright.
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317. It's true.
I do get paid to take care of you.
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318. But I don't get paid extra
for loving you, and I do.
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319. I love you too.
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320. Oy, let's face it, Grace.
I'm no Ivana Trump.
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321. Of course, neither is she, anymore.
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322. I got one lousy Christmas club account
with maybe 49 cents in it,
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323. so I gotta work for a living.
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324. Lucky for me, I got the best job
in the whole wide world. I love you.
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325. So, you don't just do it for the money?
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326. Believe me, by the time
they take out state and federal and FICA,
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327. it's a labor of love.
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328. Let's see. What do we look like here?
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329. Oh, yuck, I'm a mess.
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330. What's Jeffrey Mishkin gonna think?
I'm all puffy.
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331. Honey, he's gonna think you're gorgeous.
Now you first look like his mother.
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332. Grace. Are you alright?
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333. Through pain comes growth.
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334. - What?
- She's fine.
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335. Thank you.
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336. My pleasure. Go, dance with your daughter.
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337. All I wanted to do
was have the children like me.
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338. I try so hard to be loving
and sensitive and fun.
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339. I can also juggle.
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340. Beat it, you untalented little troll.
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341. You are a regular Mr. Rogers.
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342. Look, I can understand
that you're incredibly threatened by me.
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343. Yes, even in this dress.
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344. However, it doesn't mean
that we can't all live under one roof.
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345. Oh, that's right, you don't live with us.
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346. Your point?
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347. Look, you're a lovely woman,
and I wish you well.
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348. But if you ever hurt one of my kids again,
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349. they'll be wiping your blue blood
off the walls.
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350. And I mean that
in the nicest possible way.
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351. Pardon me.
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352. Ma, what are you doing?
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353. Why shouldn't I have a little centerpiece?
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354. But they haven't even cut the cake yet.
You're already taking the flowers?
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355. Well, for my $50, I should get something.
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356. Look, Ma, she's standing on his shoes.
Is that the cutest thing you ever saw?
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357. Adorable.
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358. Go cut in.
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