1. So, Fran, did you finish sewing my bear?
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2. While I was in there,
I took some stuffing out of her stomach
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3. and I put it in her lips.
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4. I wanted her to look like a Care Bear.
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5. Well, now she looks like a Cher bear.
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6. Oh, wow.
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7. Hi, Mr. Sheffield.
Don't you look handsome.
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8. - Got a hot date tonight?
- Yes, but I'm missing a stud.
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9. Yeah, well, who isn't?
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10. Forget it. I'm not taking you
to the movies, you little worm.
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11. Why not? Your friends won't mind.
They're really nice to me.
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12. That's 'cause I told them
you only had six months to live.
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13. So, what time's my curfew tonight?
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14. Ten if you go with the worm,
nine if you go wormless.
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15. - There. Now you're perfect.
- Thank you, Miss Fine.
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16. Oh, where are you going?
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17. Tonight is my Butler's Association
meeting.
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18. - Oh, a walk on the wild side?
- You said it.
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19. Sometimes we listen to recordings
of doorbells and don't get up.
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20. Oh, you...
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21. Well, Gracie, it looks like
it's just you and me, babe.
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22. I've got a dinner date.
SpaghettiOs at Bernard's.
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23. Well, can I come if I bring my own can?
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24. Sorry. Our relationship's
at that fragile stage.
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25. Everybody's got their own life but me.
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26. Well, Cher, I got you, babe.
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27. Thank God.
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28. - Hi, Fran. I knew you'd be home.
- Hi, Val. Oh, yeah, well,
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29. it's official: I peaked in high school.
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30. I rented Single White Female
and I picked up a box of Slim Fast bars.
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31. You know, Val, after ten bars,
you don't get slim so fast.
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32. Do I have news for you!
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33. Danny broke up with Heather Biblow.
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34. How'd you hear that?
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35. Oh, from the information superhighway,
my mother.
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36. Did she tell you Danny's
been asking about you nonstop?
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37. Oh, I could care less.
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38. You know, when I dumped him
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39. and marched myself
out of that bridal shop—
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40. No. Remember? Danny dumped you
for Heather Biblow,
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41. and then he fired you
so she could have your job.
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42. Val, it was a while ago.
It's all very fuzzy, okay?
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43. Just go talk to him, Frannie.
You two are meant for each other.
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44. Look, Val, the guy dumped me.
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45. There isn't anything
you're gonna say or do
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46. that's gonna make me want
to set foot into that bridal shop.
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47. This time, you can dump him.
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48. - What time does he open?
- See?
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49. She was working in a bridal shop
In Flushing, Queens
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50. 'Til her boyfriend kicked her out
In one of those crushing scenes
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51. What was she to do, where was she to go?
She was out on her fanny
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52. So, over the bridge from Flushing
To the Sheffields' door
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53. She was there to sell makeup
But the father saw more
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54. She had style, she had flair She was there
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55. That's how she became the Nanny
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56. Who would have guessed
That the girl we described
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57. Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed?
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58. - Now the father finds her beguiling
- Watch out, C.C.
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59. - And the kids are actually smiling
- Such joie de vivre!
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60. She's the lady in red
When everybody else is wearing tan
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61. The flashy girl from Flushing
The Nanny named Fran
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62. We got a customer, Mr. Imperiali.
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63. You brought the kids here?
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64. Well, I would have tied them to the meter,
but Mr. Sheffield frowns on that.
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65. Maggie, look. It's your new boyfriend.
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66. He's got your personality, too.
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67. And your equipment.
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68. Fran? Babe, look at you.
You look like a million bucks.
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69. Oh, it's just something I threw together.
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70. You changed your outfit 15 times.
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71. - She can't count. She's only six.
- I'm seven.
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72. See what I mean?
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73. Come on, kids. Let's go check
the pay phone for quarters.
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74. Fran, I...
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75. You know, my mother really misses you.
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76. Oh, did she get the Isotoners
I sent her for Christmas?
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77. Yeah, that was really sweet.
You know, especially considering
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78. the circumstances.
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79. Well, I don't hate her guts.
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80. She didn't dump me for Heather Biblow.
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81. I'm sorry. I had to have
a cheap, tawdry affair
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82. just to really appreciate you.
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83. You were with her for six months.
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84. I had to be sure.
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85. Well, I could care less.
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86. Look, if you could care less,
then why do you come down here
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87. looking like you're looking?
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88. Just to let you know
what you're never gonna have again.
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89. - Suffer.
- I am.
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90. Frannie, I still want you.
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91. And something tells me
you still want me, too.
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92. I don't.
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93. I don't.
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94. No. I'm not coming back here
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95. so that I can waste
another three years of my life
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96. waiting for you
not to ask me to marry you.
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97. All right. All right.
I'm gonna do it right now.
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98. Come here.
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99. Frannie Fine...
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100. will you marry me?
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101. - What?
- I'm asking you to marry me.
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102. I miss you. I love you.
Come on. What do you say?
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103. What do I say?
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104. You led me on for three years.
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105. You cheated on me.
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106. You fired me.
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107. So?
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108. So, I'm gonna have to think about it.
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109. Ma!
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110. Ma, good news. It finally happened.
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111. I got proposed to.
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112. Thank you!
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113. Ma! Ma! Calm down. Calm down.
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114. You're gonna make it start to rain.
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115. Oh, Frannie, your father and I
have been waiting for this day
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116. since the moment you were born.
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117. Now we can die.
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118. Morty, you can start smoking again!
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119. - Ma, I haven't said yes yet.
- Morty, put away the cigar.
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120. What is to think about?
He's handsome. He's rich.
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121. He's already got three children,
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122. which, trust me,
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123. your pelvis will thank you for.
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124. Ma, it's not Mr. Sheffield.
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125. - It's not?
- No.
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126. The boss never marries the help.
Look at Tony and Angela.
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127. Eight years he wasted on her.
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128. He was so heartbroken,
he skied into a tree.
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129. Major Nelson and Jeannie tied the knot.
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130. If she had any commitment at all
to that relationship
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131. she would've given up her apartment.
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132. It was a bottle.
They kept it on top of the mantel.
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133. All I'm saying is—
What the hell am I saying?
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134. How the hell should I know?
So, who are you marrying?
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135. Danny. Who do you think?
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136. What? What's the matter?
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137. You were always so hot to see
me and Danny together.
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138. Now you're giving me a lukewarm "oi"?
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139. I didn't like the way he treated you
during that whole Heather Biblow thing.
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140. He's a real trombenik.
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141. So, he made a mistake.
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142. He begged me to come back.
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143. He cried that he loved me.
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144. He cried?
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145. Oh, I love a man who cries.
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146. Except Jerry Lewis
at the end of the telethon.
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147. Ma, I don't know what to do.
Tell me what to do.
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148. I don't know. Do you love him?
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149. How do you ever know?
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150. How did you know that you were
in love with Dad?
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151. His dimples.
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152. - Daddy doesn't have dimples.
- Not where you could see.
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153. But he always treated me like a lady.
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154. Every weekend, he would take me
to his favorite restaurant
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155. and he never once
let me carry my own tray.
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156. Well, Danny is not quite as gallant
as Dad was,
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157. but I'll tell you, when he took me
in his arms today and kissed me,
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158. boy, did it bring back memories.
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159. It reminded me of the time
when you and Dad went to Puerto Rico
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160. and Danny came over, and I said,
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161. "You can't come in here, Danny Imperiali,
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162. because my parents said,
'No boys allowed.'"
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163. Oh, Ma, I don't know what to do.
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164. I mean, all my life
I've been wanting Danny to propose,
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165. and now that he finally does,
all I keep thinking about
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166. is how much I love those three kids.
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167. I know, sweetheart,
but it's still just a job.
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168. Don't you want a life of your own?
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169. You know I do.
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170. So?
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171. - So, I guess I'm getting married.
- Mazel tov!
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172. Light up, Morty!
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173. Ma!
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174. Oh, Niles, don't take it so hard.
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175. It's the onions.
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176. I mean, I can still come and visit.
You can come to Queens.
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177. We can go bowling.
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178. If you don't like bowling,
we can play miniature golf.
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179. That's better.
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180. Say, where should I have
the engagement party?
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181. Mongolian barbecue or Benny's Clam Bar?
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182. Tough choice.
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183. Which has the indoor restrooms?
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184. You think that's important?
All right, Benny's.
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185. Why don't you have it at your favorite
little Italian place in the Village?
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186. Danny doesn't really like
to come into the city.
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187. Oh, yes, Manhattan has so little to offer.
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188. All right, we don't have as much
in common as we used to,
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189. but I'll work on all that
after we're married.
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190. Good thinking. Men are so easy to change.
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191. - What's that supposed to mean?
- Oh, nothing.
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192. - Have you told Mr. Sheffield yet?
- No, but...
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193. you know. He's so busy,
and I don't want to just barge in.
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194. Yes, I know how you hate to do that.
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195. Mr. Sheffield, I'm getting married.
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196. I mean, you? To who?
Oh, it doesn't matter.
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197. Do you need a dress, a ring,
a ride to temple?
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198. I'm feeling positively giddy!
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199. I have a million phone calls to make.
I'm so happy!
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200. For you, dear.
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201. Happy is not a good color for that woman.
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202. So...
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203. - who's the lucky man?
- Danny Imperiali.
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204. What? I can't believe it.
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205. After he lied and cheated on you
with Heather Biblow? How could you?
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206. Well, if I could forgive him,
I would think you certainly could.
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207. Right.
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208. Well, then, this is good news.
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209. Oh, I couldn't be happier for you.
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210. You couldn't?
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211. Oh, me too.
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212. I...
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213. I suppose this means you'll be leaving us.
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214. I guess so.
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215. But I'll stay on until you find someone
to replace me.
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216. No one could ever replace you, Miss Fine.
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217. I mean, who else is gonna
turn up to breakfast
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218. in those loud, inappropriate bathrobes?
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219. I'll leave a few for Niles.
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220. Well...
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221. You'll be greatly missed...
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222. by the children.
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223. I'll miss them, too.
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224. - I wish you all the luck in the world.
- Thank you.
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225. And listen, I'd like to help you
with your honeymoon.
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226. Oh, well, it's a little breaking
with tradition, but I'll ask Danny.
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227. No, Miss Fine, I...
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228. - I meant financially.
- Oh, well. That'll be nice, too.
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229. So, would you like me to be there
when you tell the children?
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230. Oh, do we have to tell the children?
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231. I think they'll notice you're missing.
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232. Can't you just tell them
I'm taking a bath?
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233. Miss Fine, you'll be gone forever.
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234. Tell them I'm putting on my makeup.
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235. Children, Miss Fine
has something to tell you.
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236. Oh, sorry. Go on.
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237. - I can't.
- Come on, Miss Fine.
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238. It won't be as hard as you think.
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239. Well, remember Danny from the bridal shop?
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240. You mean that back-stabbing,
two-timing creep?
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241. Well, he's getting married,
and you're all invited.
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242. - That's great.
- That'll be fun.
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243. So, what idiot fell for that loser?
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244. I know! I know!
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245. Oh, my God. You're getting married?
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246. Well. This is going to be a problem.
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247. Your closet's barely big enough
for your clothes.
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248. He's not moving in with her.
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249. Well, that's not gonna be
much of a marriage.
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250. Wake up, twerp. Fran's leaving us.
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251. Don't worry, children.
You still have Aunt C.C.
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252. Oh, come on, children,
you'll still be able to see Miss Fine.
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253. Yeah, yeah, that's right,
on all the major holidays.
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254. We'll spend Christmas together,
Fourth of July,
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255. the back room sale at Loehmann's.
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256. Yeah, sure, we'll stay in touch
for a while, then you'll just forget us.
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257. And we'll forget her.
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258. Hey, kids, you know when I'm down
in the dumps what cheers me up?
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259. A fifth of Scotch
and a fresh pack of batteries?
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260. Nanny Fine, how I'll miss that wit.
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261. No. Actually, I was referring to singing.
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262. For she's a jolly good fellow
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263. For she's a jolly good fellow
Which nobody can deny
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264. Which nobody can deny
Which nobody can deny
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265. Well, thank you so much. We'll call you.
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266. When hell freezes over.
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267. Oh, what was wrong with her, sir?
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268. She has 20 years' experience,
speaks five languages,
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269. is a registered nurse.
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270. She had no style, no sense of humor,
and her hair was...
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271. oddly flat.
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272. Oh, yes. You're right, sir.
I don't know what I was thinking.
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273. Oh, the truth is, Niles,
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274. I've come to depend on Miss Fine
for everything.
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275. - Everything, sir?
- Well, all those things
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276. I don't depend on you for.
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277. Who could've known
it would be so hard to say goodbye?
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278. Actually, it's not goodbye for me, sir.
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279. Miss Fine is taking me
miniature golfing next week.
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280. I just wish to God
there was some way to...
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281. No, it just wouldn't be right to interfere
with Miss Fine's chance at happiness.
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282. Yes. After all,
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283. some of us only get one shot at it,
don't we, sir?
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284. I was in love once.
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285. I say, I was in love once.
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286. Oh, I'm sorry, Niles.
Did you want to tell me about it?
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287. Yes. It was Catherine. The housekeeper.
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288. We never spoke of it,
but there were signs.
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289. A look, a wink, a shared laugh.
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290. But I never did anything about it...
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291. so she married someone else,
and I never saw her again.
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292. Of course, no one ever knew.
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293. Oh, good God, man, the whole house knew.
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294. We were taking bets
on when you two would get together.
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295. The incredible thing is,
you let her get away.
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296. Yes, I was remarkably stupid,
wasn't I, sir?
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297. Why can't we just tell Fran not to go?
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298. Because it's something she wants,
and since we're her friends,
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299. we should want it for her.
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300. Can't you just offer some more money?
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301. Brighton!
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302. I have. It didn't work.
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303. You never offered Catherine more money.
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304. I could've had a life.
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305. If Catherine had ever cleaned
behind the refrigerator, you might.
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306. This is good. We're all venting.
It'll make us feel better.
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307. Oh, shut up, Gracie.
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308. You're right. I do feel better.
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309. Oh, come on, everyone.
Look, I know it's hard to say goodbye,
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310. but I want us all to act like grown-ups.
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311. Which nobody can deny
Which nobody can deny
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312. Why so glum? It's a happy occasion.
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313. She's getting married.
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314. Oh, you people are so selfish.
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315. Miss Fine, may I help you with those?
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316. Maybe you could just take my makeup bag.
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317. Yes.
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318. Isn't anybody going to say anything?
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319. Hey, Fran! Come on, honey!
I'm double-parked out here!
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320. Oh, he sounds charming.
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321. - Look at her go.
- The woman could deliver for Domino's.
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322. Yeah. If she doesn't come hot, she's free.
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323. Come in, come in. She's all ready to go.
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324. - Hey.
- Oh, hi, Danny.
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325. - Hi, sweetheart.
- Hey, hey, hey.
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326. I just want you to meet my boss.
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327. Maxwell Sheffield,
this is Danny Imperiali.
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328. - How's it hanging?
- I beg your pardon? What?
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329. We have a bit of a language barrier here.
Mr. Sheffield speaks English.
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330. Come on, children.
Help me with the luggage.
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331. I'm gonna buy you a whole new set
for the honeymoon.
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332. These bags are so old.
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333. - Takes one to know one.
- Takes one to know one.
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334. - Jinx! Buy me a Coke.
- Jinx! Buy me a Coke.
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335. Oh, you, Scarecrow,
I'm gonna miss most of all.
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336. - I'll get the rest of your things.
- Yeah, thanks.
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337. It's the powder-blue van
with "Danny's Parisian Brides for Less"
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338. - printed on both sides.
- Oh, thank you.
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339. We could've been wandering around
out there for hours.
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340. Well, honey, take a last look around.
Your nanny days are over.
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341. We'll certainly miss her.
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342. You know,
if you're in a little bit of a bind,
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343. I mean, I could work a few days a week.
Monday through Friday.
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344. No way Danny Imperiali's wife
is gonna take a job.
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345. I thought you wanted me
to work in the bridal shop.
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346. Yeah, but I wasn't gonna pay you.
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347. I'm kidding. Come on, honey,
you're gonna be a lady of leisure.
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348. You're just gonna cook, clean,
take care of me and take care of the kids.
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349. Oh, yabba dabba doo,
I don't have to walk Dino?
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350. Well, Miss Fine, is that everything?
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351. Yeah, I guess so.
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352. Unless you want to give me this one
as a parting gift.
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353. - I wrote you a poem, Fran.
- You did?
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354. F is for the fun we have together
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355. R is for the rummy that we play
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356. A is for the answers to my questions
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357. And N is for the nasal things you say
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358. We're all gonna miss that sound.
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359. Come on, honey.
The tunnel is backing up here.
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360. Oh. Yeah. Yeah.
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361. I love you.
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362. I love you. I'll call you.
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363. Brighton, don't you want to give me a hug?
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364. No. I hate you.
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365. Oh, come on, B.
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366. You're not making this any easier on me.
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367. Yeah, well, why should I?
You're not making this very easy on us.
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368. - Now, Brighton, that's quite enough.
- Well, he's right.
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369. I mean, you told us to pretend like
we're happy about this, but we're not.
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370. We're losing our best friend.
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371. You're telling them
to lie about their feelings?
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372. I haven't even gone yet,
and you're already making mistakes?
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373. I did it for you.
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374. You think it's easy for us
to watch you walk out that door
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375. and throw your life away
on that neanderthal?
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376. Well, I'm sorry, old man, but—
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377. Hey. Hey. I'm younger than you.
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378. Miss Fine, it... All right, it's true.
The children will miss you.
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379. I'll miss you.
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380. But you've made us all so happy here.
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381. We just want you to be happy now.
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382. I don't want to go!
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383. - Do something, you big oaf.
- You're damn right I will!
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384. Come on, honey,
you're embarrassing me here.
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385. Danny, I don't want...
I don't want to hurt you,
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386. but I think I've outgrown you.
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387. No, honey, you're just wearing heels.
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388. Were you always this stupid?
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389. Yeah.
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390. Nothing's changed.
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391. Maybe you got a little smarter.
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392. No, I think he was always this stupid.
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393. - Hey, are you dumping me?
- No, I would never—
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394. Come to think of it, I think I am.
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395. Gee, it doesn't feel as good
as I thought it would.
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396. Baby, I love you! You love me!
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397. At least you love this, huh?
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398. - I still got it.
- Yeah.
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399. But I don't want it anymore.
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400. No?
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401. You want it?
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402. Two seconds. Time heals all wounds.
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403. Wait! We'll win her back!
We can get flowers, perfume!
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404. She needs a new car!
I'll pay for everything!
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405. Come on, everyone, let's celebrate!
Four Seasons, and it's on me.
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406. - Oh, no. My treat, my treat.
- No, Miss Fine, I'm paying.
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407. Oh, no, I insist. I'll use the money
you gave me for the honeymoon.
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408. You didn't think you were
ever gonna see that again, did you?
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409. - Well, just consider it a bonus.
- Thanks.
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410. - Welcome back, Miss Fine.
- Thank you, Mr. Sheffield.
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411. - It's good to be back.
- I just...
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412. I just hope you made the right decision.
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413. I did.
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414. Hi.
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415. Don't say anything,
but I just upgraded myself from coach.
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416. I'm Fran Fine. What's your name?
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417. Jeff Sagansky.
This is my daughter, Gillian.
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418. - So, what do you do?
- I develop shows for CBS.
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419. You know, I'm a nanny,
and a lot of people tell me
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420. that my life would make a great sitcom.
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421. Stewardess, how many hours left
on this flight?
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422. You see, I was working
in a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens,
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423. 'til my boyfriend kicked me out
in one of those crushing scenes.
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424. Where was I to go? What was I to do?
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425. I was out on my fanny. Pardon my French.
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