1. Hey, Mom, hey, Mom,
what are you doing?
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2. I'm making clam
chowder for dinner.
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3. Are the clams fresh?
Eddie, be careful.
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4. Boy, they sure are fresh.
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5. Where's Grandpa and Pop?
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6. Out in the garage, evidently
working on some secret project.
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7. Nobody's supposed
to go out there.
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8. They might be working
on my birthday present.
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9. You know, my birthday
is this Wednesday.
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10. Yes, dear. We
know it's Wednesday.
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11. Do you know, Grandpa...
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12. this is gonna be the best birthday
present we ever made for Eddie.
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13. Listen here. If you don't
give "we" here a hand...
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14. it's gonna be the best
graduation present he ever had...
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15. from college yet.
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16. By golly. What do you
want me to do, old pal?
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17. What do I want you
to do? I'll tell you.
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18. There. You could
be oiling that wheel.
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19. All right.
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20. Grandpa...
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21. there's no oil in here.
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22. What do you mean there's no
oil? There's plenty of oil in there.
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23. You're right. There
is plenty of oil.
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24. Golly. Pop really doesn't want me
to see what's going on in the garage.
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25. Hey, neat. Pop's wire-clippers.
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26. Now, to look in the window.
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27. Hey, Mom.
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28. Help.
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29. We caught you. You
sneaky little rascal, you.
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30. So long, Mom. Goodbye, dear.
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31. What do you have
in the jar, Eddie?
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32. It's my science
project for school.
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33. It's a black widow spider.
That could be dangerous.
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34. You be real careful when you
take the spider out of the jar, Eddie...
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35. so that nobody hurts it.
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36. Sure, Mom. So long. And say
goodbye to Grandpa and Pop for me.
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37. Bye, Eddie. Goodbye, dear.
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38. Are Grandpa and Uncle Herman
out in the garage, already?
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39. Since daybreak.
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40. They're too interested in
what they're doing even to eat.
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41. Isn't this ridiculous?
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42. I'm going out there and
have a talk with them.
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43. But I thought their project
was supposed to be a secret.
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44. I don't care if it is a secret.
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45. The last time they made
a present for Eddie...
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46. it broke loose and
swallowed a milk truck.
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47. I'll get to the bottom of this.
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48. Isn't this childish?
Barbed wire.
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49. Really obstacles.
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50. Sand bags. Really.
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51. Those two and
their top-security.
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52. Listen to me, you two.
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53. Well, Grandpa, look
what we caught this time.
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54. Herman Munster, you
get me down from here.
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55. Lily, that ought to
teach you a lesson, dear.
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56. Curiosity killed the bat.
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57. If you don't get me
down from here...
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58. there's going to be something
else killed besides a bat.
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59. I don't know, Grandpa.
What do you think?
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60. Well, I don't know.
But I have an idea.
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61. Let's toss a coin.
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62. Heads, we do. Tails, we don't.
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63. Heads it is. We take her down.
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64. Let's make it two-out-of-three.
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65. Stop that and get me down.
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66. Patience, Peter Pan.
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67. It's okay, Grandpa. Eddie won't
be home from school for an hour yet.
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68. Grandpa, it's beautiful.
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69. Grandpa, it is beautiful.
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70. Is this something,
or is this something?
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71. Grandpa, you've
outdone yourself.
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72. Thank you, Herman. But
it's nothing that Detroit...
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73. or Agent 007 couldn't
have whipped up.
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74. - I'll take it out for a little test spin.
- No, you don't, Herman.
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75. This is for Eddie's
birthday tomorrow
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76. and I don't want anything
to spoil his surprise.
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77. Yeah, well a little test
spin wouldn't hurt. Herman.
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78. Stop it, Grandpa. Herman.
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79. Put the brakes.
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80. Herman, watch out.
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81. Grandpa!
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82. Oh, no.
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83. Poor Eddie. Now another
birthday's come and gone.
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84. Forget it, Herman. I
don't want to discuss it.
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85. Grandpa, I...
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86. Please, Herman, once
and for all, no discussion.
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87. What's this all about?
What's this all about?
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88. This stone dome here just
wrecked Eddie's birthday present.
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89. Oh, Herman.
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90. Now, Lily. It's not as bad
as Grandpa is making out.
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91. Not as bad as
Grandpa's making it out.
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92. It couldn't be worse.
You ruined Eddie's car...
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93. you ruined the birthday. You...
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94. Look, I don't
want to discuss it.
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95. As a matter of fact, I'm
not even gonna talk about it.
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96. Herman, get out of this house.
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97. Leave this house at once.
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98. You're telling me to
leave my own house?
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99. What do you mean "your own
house"? This is my own house.
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100. When the bills are overdue...
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101. who do you think the bank
sends the delinquent notices to?
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102. Me. That's who. Herman Munster.
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103. Well, you're forgetting one
little thing, Herman Munster...
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104. that when you bought this house, it
was I who put down the down payment.
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105. And according to
the agreement pact...
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106. exactly one half of this
house belongs to me.
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107. That's right, Herman.
That was the deal.
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108. One half of the house?
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109. That's the way it's
gonna be? Right.
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110. Okay. Okay.
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111. But remember, Grandpa.
As the man on television said:
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112. You asked for it.
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113. Herman Munster,
what are you doing?
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114. I'm dividing the
house into two parts.
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115. And from now on, Grandpa, I'll thank
you to stay on your side of the line.
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116. Sorry, but the paper
was on my side of the line.
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117. No, it wasn't. It happened to be lying
right in the middle of the white line.
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118. Did you say right in
the middle of the line?
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119. That's exactly what I said, right
in the middle of the white line.
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120. Would you look at that, Marilyn?
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121. Just like a couple of big kids.
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122. I just wish Herman
was 140 years younger...
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123. I'd put him back in his playpen.
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124. Hi, Mom. Hi, Marilyn. Hi, Eddie.
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125. Hello, Eddie.
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126. What's the white line for?
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127. What is Pop and Grandpa
doing in the house?
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128. I thought they'd be out in the garage,
working on my secret birthday present.
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129. That was my birthday present
they were working on, wasn't it?
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130. Don't you worry, Eddie. You'll
have a wonderful birthday tomorrow.
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131. It looks like the white line
runs all way through the house.
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132. Well, you see, Eddie...
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133. your father and Grandpa
had a little misunderstanding.
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134. Little misunderstanding? Looks
like they're having a real rumble.
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135. Poor little fellow.
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136. It's awful having this
happen to him on his birthday.
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137. Hey, Mom. The white line runs
down the middle of the bathtub.
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138. I know, dear.
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139. And Grandpa can't get
hot water on his side.
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140. Hello. Who?
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141. It's for Grandpa. Grandpa,
you're wanted on the phone.
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142. I'll be right there.
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143. No, you don't. The phone
is on my side of the line.
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144. Lily, would you please
hand me the receiver?
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145. Here you are, Grandpa.
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146. Thank you.
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147. Hello?
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148. Hello?
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149. Your party's been cut off.
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150. Marilyn, what are we going to
do about this awful family feuding?
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151. The next thing we know, it will be
just like the ones in the old country...
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152. and they'll be at each other's
throats. Seems to be getting worse.
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153. Spot must be
hungry. I'll fix that.
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154. I have his bone right here.
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155. Here you go, Spot.
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156. What's the white line
going down Spot's back?
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157. It's all a part of the feud.
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158. Herman and Grandpa
even divided up Spot.
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159. And Herman is furious
because he got the half that eats.
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160. Marilyn, I think I have it.
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161. Three can play at this
house-divided business as well as two.
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162. I'm going to put a stop to all
this nonsense once and for all.
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163. Dinner's ready.
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164. I said, dinner is ready.
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165. Grandpa, I didn't know
you wore a monocle.
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166. This is not a monocle.
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167. I happened to leave my reading
glasses on the white line...
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168. and Herman here,
cut them in two.
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169. That pays you back for what
you did to my bedroom slippers.
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170. Come on, you two.
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171. Be seated, please.
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172. Well...
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173. Eddie.
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174. Potatoes, Eddie? Yes.
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175. Marilyn.
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176. Could I have some
potatoes, please, Marilyn?
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177. Won't you have
carrots? Yes, thank you.
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178. Don't forget your
carrots now, Eddie.
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179. You will eat only what is in your
section and you will not cross the lines.
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180. Dig in.
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181. Boy, Mom. This is good.
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182. Darn. Darn. Darn. Darn.
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183. Grandpa, you're
invading Marilyn's territory.
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184. What do we need here? Permission
from the UN to get a bite to eat?
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185. All you need is to stop this
fighting and make up with Herman...
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186. and erase all the lines.
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187. Go back to making this
a peaceful household.
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188. Not me. I'd rather starve first.
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189. Me, too. I'd rather go
back to drinking tired blood.
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190. Marilyn, don't put the
food away. Why not?
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191. Did you notice?
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192. At dinner, Herman and Grandpa
were beginning to weaken.
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193. I know.
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194. Neither one of them wants
to be the first to give in.
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195. I believe you're
right, Aunt Lily.
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196. I don't recall Grandpa or Uncle
Herman ever missing a meal.
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197. Never!
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198. Think they can starve me
into submission, do they?
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199. Not when I've got my Instant
Transistorized Magnesium Wall Oven.
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200. Medium well.
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201. Nothing like it. Instant
wolf T-bone steaks.
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202. Wonderful.
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203. Beautiful. I've got
that Herman now.
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204. Hi, Spot.
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205. Well done, please.
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206. Good boy.
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207. Thank you.
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208. I can hold out to that
stupid old Grandpa forever.
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209. Hey, Mom, I'm going to bed now
because tomorrow is my birthday.
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210. I wanna wake up real early...
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211. so I can see what a neat present
Pop and Grandpa made me.
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212. Sure, Eddie. Good night.
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213. Oh, uh...
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214. Before you get in bed, be
sure to put on the heavier lid.
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215. It's going to be chilly tonight.
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216. All right, you two, break
it up. That's enough.
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217. Now, you listen to me.
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218. Tomorrow is Eddie's birthday and I
will not have your squabbling spoil it.
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219. And besides that, you're going to
have a decent birthday present for Eddie.
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220. We had a decent
birthday present ready...
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221. until this big
goon here broke it.
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222. Forget that, Grandpa. You two
are going out in that garage...
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223. and you're going to make
another present for Eddie.
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224. At this hour, dear? We'll
be out there all night.
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225. And I need my beauty sleep.
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226. Okay, so you'll be up all night.
For our son, it'll be worth it.
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227. Now you two apologize and
get on out there and get to work.
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228. Well, only if he gets me
another pair of eyeglasses.
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229. Only if he buys me a new
pair of bedroom slippers.
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230. Never mind that! Get going!
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231. And now, for the unveiling.
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232. Happy birthday, Eddie.
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233. Well, what do you say, Son?
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234. Thanks. You don't
sound very happy.
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235. Golly, Pop, I'm 9 years old.
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236. Not a little kid that gets a kick
out of driving a coaster wagon...
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237. up and down the sidewalk.
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238. But, Eddie, it's not
a coaster wagon.
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239. It's an airplane.
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240. Sure it is.
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241. Eddie, they worked all
night on your present.
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242. That's right, Son. Why don't
you get in and pump the pedals?
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243. They make the propellers turn.
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244. Heck, it's still just
a kiddy wagon.
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245. Pump the pedals, Eddie.
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246. Hi, everybody.
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247. I'll see you later.
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248. Look, I'm flying.
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249. Here, everybody.
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250. Help! Help!
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251. Herman, don't just hang
there. Help me out of here.
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252. Lily, Marilyn, let me down.
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253. Marilyn, do you think
we should flip a coin?
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254. You know, that's a good idea.
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255. And when you get through, Herman, I don't
want to see one speck of that white line.
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256. I'm finishing as
soon as I can, dear.
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257. I want to watch that new
Western on TV tonight.
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258. Where the cowboy
is a psychiatrist.
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259. He lassos the bad guys and
instead of shooting them...
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260. he ties them to a couch
and analyzes them.
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261. No, you don't, Herman.
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262. I'm going to watch Agent
8643957-And-A-Half.
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263. Wait a minute, Grandpa.
It's going to be the Western.
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264. It's going to be the spy show.
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265. The Western. It's gonna be
the spy show and that is final.
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266. Herman Munster, don't you dare.
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267. Just kidding,
dear. Just kidding.
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