1. Oh, goody, hopscotch.Copy !req
2. - Hello, mister.Copy !req
3. Oh! Hi there, young fella.Copy !req
4. Is that some sort of game
you're playing?Copy !req
5. No, it's not a game.
I've got my head stuck in here.Copy !req
6. Oh, my. Well, uh, in that case,
you should summon assistance.Copy !req
7. - Huh?
- You know, call for help.Copy !req
8. But I don't wanna do that,
'cause people would come
and laugh at me.Copy !req
9. And then my parents would find out
and yell at me for being dumb.Copy !req
10. Oh, yeah, I know.Copy !req
11. That can be annoying.Copy !req
12. Allow me.Copy !req
13. There you go.
Golly!Copy !req
14. That was real neat.
You must be the strongest guy
in the whole world.Copy !req
15. Well, with the possible exception
of Li'I Abner.Copy !req
16. - What's your name?
- Uh, my name's Mr. Munster.Copy !req
17. But you can call me Uncle Herman.Copy !req
18. My name is Galen Livingston Stewart,
but you may call me Gale.Copy !req
19. Oh, thank you.
Pleased to meet you, Gale.Copy !req
20. It's been a pleasure
saving your life.Copy !req
21. Do you come by here every day?
Yes, I do.Copy !req
22. - Maybe I'll see you tomorrow.
- Oh, that would be real boss.Copy !req
23. Uh, that means "keen."Copy !req
24. I just can't wait to tell my parents
about you, Uncle Herman. Good-bye.Copy !req
25. Good-bye.Copy !req
26. So, uh, Eddie,
I said to Queen Isabella,Copy !req
27. "Why not give
this Columbus cat the jewels?Copy !req
28. "I mean, after all,
they're not doing anyone any good
lying around in the top drawer.Copy !req
29. And besides, he might take a cruise
and find something good."Copy !req
30. And that, Eddie, is how
Columbus discovered America.Copy !req
31. Gee, Grandpa, you've had
a lot of neat adventures.Copy !req
32. Oh, yes, Eddie,
over the centuries,
you can say I got around.Copy !req
33. A very interesting thing
happened to me on the way home
from work today.Copy !req
34. Oh, that's fine.
Eddie, Eddie, don't just sit there.Copy !req
35. Wolf down your food.Copy !req
36. I was walking along
the street today...Copy !req
37. Grandpa, would you slice me
another piece of meat?Copy !req
38. Certainly.Copy !req
39. Thank you.Copy !req
40. It just so happens
that today...Copy !req
41. I saved a boy's life.Copy !req
42. Mm, that's fine.
Oh, Grandpa, you're not eating.Copy !req
43. Well, doesn't anyone want to
hear about my heroic deed?Copy !req
44. All right, Herman.
What did you do?Copy !req
45. Yes, Herman, we're listening.Copy !req
46. I just might not tell you now.Copy !req
47. Good.
Pass the brussels sprouts, please.Copy !req
48. Now wait a minute.
I'm gonna tell you what happened,Copy !req
49. and my whole family's
gonna listen!Copy !req
50. Including
my rotten ol' father-in-law.Copy !req
51. Okay, Pop, how did you
save a boy's life?Copy !req
52. Well, this boy had his head
through an iron fence,Copy !req
53. and I unbent the bars
and let him out.
Big deal.Copy !req
54. Well, if I hadn't,
his bones would have rotted
right there on the sidewalk...Copy !req
55. and hurt the neighborhood...Copy !req
56. and brought down property values
and everything.Copy !req
57. So there!Copy !req
58. Herman Munster,
you are a plain, ordinary man...Copy !req
59. in a plain, ordinaryjob.Copy !req
60. Now why must you insist
on these fantastic stories
just to get attention?Copy !req
61. But it's true, dear!
It-It's true.
I did save his life.Copy !req
62. And his name is
Galen Livingston Stewart,
and he's my friend.Copy !req
63. And I'm gonna
meet him there tomorrow.Copy !req
64. Herman, you and your stories.Copy !req
65. Sometimes you act so childish,
it's hard to believe you're 150 years old.Copy !req
66. Galen Livingston Stewart,
you and your stories.Copy !req
67. Sometimes you act so childish,
it's hard to believe
you're nine years old.Copy !req
68. But it did happen, Mom.Copy !req
69. He did save my life,
and he told me
to call him Uncle Herman.Copy !req
70. Just what did this Uncle Herman
look like, son?Copy !req
71. Well, he's about nine feet tall,
and his head was flat.Copy !req
72. He had these things
sticking out of his neck.Copy !req
73. His hands
were sewed on to his wrists,
and he's all green.Copy !req
74. Galen Stewart,
you get upstairs
to bed this instant.Copy !req
75. But it's true, Mom.
There is an Uncle Herman.Copy !req
76. All right, upstairs, young man.Copy !req
77. And I've warned you about telling
these fantastic stories before.Copy !req
78. Excuse me.Copy !req
79. I ask you, John,
where would Galen
get these ideas...Copy !req
80. about these weird-looking,
frightening creatures?Copy !req
81. I don't know, dear.
Maybe he spent too much time
with your relatives.Copy !req
82. There we are.Copy !req
83. Hey, that looks pretty neat.
What is it?Copy !req
84. What is it?
It's my old movie projector.
I got it out of the attic.Copy !req
85. I'm gonna show
some of my home movies.Copy !req
86. I put a new motor in it.Copy !req
87. That's great!Copy !req
88. That's a 300-cubic-inch squirrel
with overhead cam
and hydraulic lifts.Copy !req
89. How long have you been
taking home movies, Grandpa?Copy !req
90. All my life.Copy !req
91. As a matter of fact,
I was taking movies 300 years
before the camera was invented.Copy !req
92. - Gee, that must have been hard.
- Of course it was.Copy !req
93. And I'll tell you something else.Copy !req
94. There wasn't even a drugstore
to develop the film.Copy !req
95. Grandpa.! Eddie.!
Is Herman down there with you?Copy !req
96. No, Mom. Grandpa and I
are just goofin' off by ourselves.Copy !req
97. Uncle Herman
should be home by now.Copy !req
98. I know. But, you see,
down at the parlor,Copy !req
99. they put him in charge
of the complaint department.Copy !req
100. He may be working late,
straightening out a customer.Copy !req
101. Boo!Copy !req
102. Boy, Uncle Herman,
I really scared you, didn't I?Copy !req
103. Oh. Oh, it's you, Gale.Copy !req
104. I almost jumped out of my skin.Copy !req
105. And in this cold weather,
that can be very uncomfortable.Copy !req
106. Say listen, Gale,
I'm on my way home right now.Copy !req
107. And I have a little boy at home
just your age.Copy !req
108. How would you like to
come along and meet him?Copy !req
109. That'd be great.
Oh, good. Come on.
It's just a few blocks.Copy !req
110. Oh, uh, just a minute.Copy !req
111. Nothing, really.Copy !req
112. Yoo-hoo, Herman's home!Copy !req
113. Boy, this is the neatest house
I've ever been in.Copy !req
114. Oh, you're just saying that.
Come on.Copy !req
115. Oh, there you are.!
You have company.Copy !req
116. Yes. I would like you to meet
Galen Livingston Stewart.Copy !req
117. How do you...
Uncle Herman, is this your mommy?Copy !req
118. Oh, heavens, no.
This is our poor,
unfortunate niece, Marilyn.Copy !req
119. The rest of the family's
down in the dungeon.Copy !req
120. Grandpa's going to show
some home movies.Copy !req
121. Oh, that sounds like fun.
Would you like to see them, Gale?Copy !req
122. - I think that'd be a gas.
- Perceptive little fellow, isn't he?Copy !req
123. After you, Marilyn.Copy !req
124. Grandpa. Grandpa.Copy !req
125. Uncle Herman's here,
and he's brought a friend.Copy !req
126. Oh, dear. I hope it's not
another one of those stuffed shirts
from the parlor.Copy !req
127. Grandpa, Lily, Eddie,
I would like you to meet...Copy !req
128. the little boy whose life I saved
and who will be eternally grateful...Copy !req
129. Galen Stewart.Copy !req
130. Hi, Gale.
Hi.Copy !req
131. Oh, hello.
Hello, little boy.
Hello.Copy !req
132. Hiya, kid.
Now here, sit right down here,Copy !req
133. and don't make any noise
during the movies.Copy !req
134. Hmm?Copy !req
135. Herman, please!Copy !req
136. That's when I played
the Loew's Palermo
with my magic act.Copy !req
137. I brought the house down
every night.Copy !req
138. Oh, I remember that.
That's the time with
that backyard barbecue at Pompeii.Copy !req
139. Things went a little
out of hand.Copy !req
140. Oh, look, Grandpa.Copy !req
141. Those are the shots
you took of King Arthur.Copy !req
142. Yeah, he was mad
at the Saxon gang...Copy !req
143. for stealing the hubcaps
off his chariot.Copy !req
144. Boy, there was some rumble
down at the old stone bridge.Copy !req
145. A lot of water
went under that bridge.Copy !req
146. Yeah, and a lot ofknights too.Copy !req
147. Oh, there are
those two fun fellows,
Burke and Hare.Copy !req
148. I remember we were going out
on a party, and they were trying
to dig up a couple of friends.Copy !req
149. There we are.
Typical Sunday traffic
on the Appian Way.Copy !req
150. L-I think the fellow on the left
is looking for the off-ramp.Copy !req
151. He never did find it.Copy !req
152. Well, well, well,
the old homestead.Copy !req
153. Gale, that's where I spent
most of my childhood,Copy !req
154. in three different jars.Copy !req
155. Oh, dear, look.!
There's my old music teacher...Copy !req
156. before he went
with Guy Lombardo.Copy !req
157. He just disappeared.Copy !req
158. No, I think he just took five.Copy !req
159. And the house has trapdoors
and secret panels.Copy !req
160. And their little kid Eddie
has fangs and pointed ears.Copy !req
161. And his grandfather's
about 400 years old
and looks like Dracula.Copy !req
162. I've never heard anything
so ridiculous in my life!Copy !req
163. And the mother has long black hair,
and she's green like Uncle Herman.Copy !req
164. And they've got
a real, real neat pet,Copy !req
165. who lives under the stairs
and breathes fire and smoke.Copy !req
166. And they showed home movies
of the burning of Rome...Copy !req
167. and all that kind of stuff.
Out!Copy !req
168. Huh?
I said out!
You get up to your room...Copy !req
169. and don't you leave it
until you're told.Copy !req
170. But what if I get hungry?Copy !req
171. Well, maybe
your green Uncle Herman...Copy !req
172. will come on over
with a nice big, fat, juicy
Dracula burger.Copy !req
173. Charcoal-broiled by that pet
that lives under the stairs.Copy !req
174. Out!
Yes, sir.Copy !req
175. John, what are we
going to do about Galen?Copy !req
176. His imagination is just fantastic,
those ridiculous lies.Copy !req
177. I don't know.
I think it's getting serious.Copy !req
178. I think I'll have to take him
to a good psychiatrist...Copy !req
179. and see if he can't
get to the bottom
of these weird fantasies.Copy !req
180. John.
Hmm.Copy !req
181. Did you make up wild stories
like that when you were his age?Copy !req
182. Certainly not.Copy !req
183. Well, I made up stories
about Indians and people
getting scalped...Copy !req
184. and guys being eaten by cannibals,
but I had a perfectly normal childhood.Copy !req
185. ?Copy !req
186. What are you doing,
Aunt Lily?Copy !req
187. I'm filling the wastebaskets,
Marilyn.Copy !req
188. Oh, dear. I hope I have
enough trash to go around.Copy !req
189. Well, the trashman
will be here tomorrow.Copy !req
190. I'm sure we can
get by till then.Copy !req
191. Hey, Mom, is Pop home
from work yet?Copy !req
192. Not yet, Eddie.
He'll be here soon.Copy !req
193. Well, I want him
to help me to find Spot.Copy !req
194. He got out of his yard again.Copy !req
195. Oh, dear.Copy !req
196. The last time he got out,
he went over to Grant Avenue...Copy !req
197. and ate all the tops
off the telephone poles.Copy !req
198. Oh, Herman,
there you are, dear.Copy !req
199. Hey, Pop,
have you seen Spot?Copy !req
200. No. And I didn't see
Gale either.Copy !req
201. I waited for him a half hour today,
but he didn't show up.Copy !req
202. I had to play two games
of hopscotch by myself.Copy !req
203. Well, may-maybe he had to
stay after school or something.Copy !req
204. No, dear, I'm afraid not.Copy !req
205. I haven't seen him
for three whole days.Copy !req
206. I'm afraid he just doesn't
want to see me anymore.Copy !req
207. Oh, Herman.Copy !req
208. You can't expect to be a big hero
and save a boy's life every day.Copy !req
209. Normal people like us
just don't have exciting adventures
all the time.Copy !req
210. Well, my life
is duller than most.Copy !req
211. The most exciting thing
that happened to me before this...Copy !req
212. was 20 years ago, when a man
stopped me on the street...Copy !req
213. and asked me if I was voting
for Alf Landon.Copy !req
214. Well, d-don't worry
about Galen, Herman.
You'll see him again.Copy !req
215. He's probably at home now,
playing with some friend...Copy !req
216. who's more on
his own age level.Copy !req
217. Sure, Pop. Come on
and help me find Spot.Copy !req
218. Well...
I think he'll come
if you whistle for him.Copy !req
219. All right.Copy !req
220. Spot! Here, Spot!Copy !req
221. So, this, uh, playmate of yours,Copy !req
222. this Uncle Herman,
is nine foot tall,Copy !req
223. he's all green in the face.Copy !req
224. Und on top of his neck,
his head is bolted on, ja?Copy !req
225. Yes. And he lives in
a neat old haunted house
with a dungeon.Copy !req
226. And they have a real neat pet
who lives under the stairs
and breathes fire.Copy !req
227. You see, Mr. And Mrs. Stewart,
you have here a very intelligent boy.Copy !req
228. He remembers all the details.Copy !req
229. Now, young man,
if you'll be so nice, you'll go
upstairs to your room and wait.Copy !req
230. Ja? Good boy.Copy !req
231. Stay away from the windows.Copy !req
232. Uh, what do you think,
Dr. Leinbach?Copy !req
233. What do I think?
Well, I think...Copy !req
234. Well, I think that the boy
has obsessive juvenile fantasies,Copy !req
235. coupled with
an overstimulated psyche.Copy !req
236. In other words, he is creating
a fantasy world of his own.Copy !req
237. See, of course, in reality,
we know that there is
no nine-foot giant.Copy !req
238. There is no haunted house.
There is no dungeon.Copy !req
239. - You mean he makes it all up?
- Ja.Copy !req
240. You see, the little Kind
looks at nothing and sees something.Copy !req
241. Looking at nothing
and seeing something...
oh, oh, oh, that's bad.Copy !req
242. Of course, looking at something
and seeing nothing,
that ain't so good either.Copy !req
243. Well, what should we do,
Dr. Leinbach?Copy !req
244. Well, the first thing
you've got to do
is to get him to a doctor.Copy !req
245. Well, that's why I called you.Copy !req
246. Ja. Now let me see
if I can think of somebody.Copy !req
247. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
What are we doing here?Copy !req
248. I'm a doctor.Copy !req
249. I'm a doctor.
I forget sometimes.Copy !req
250. Uh, what do you suggest?Copy !req
251. Ah, well, I think
we have to rid the boy
of these illusions...Copy !req
252. by exposing them as false.Copy !req
253. You see, now I, myself,
will take little Galen personally
by the hand...Copy !req
254. to this fictitious house
with these fictitious people,Copy !req
255. and then when he sees
the reality that there is
no such house...Copy !req
256. and there is no such people,
he's cured, ja?Copy !req
257. Yeah.
Now, please, the boy
from the room, call down.Copy !req
258. Call Galen.Copy !req
259. Galen, would you come down now?Copy !req
260. Yeah, come on down, son.Copy !req
261. You and me,
we're going to take a little walk...Copy !req
262. and meet your Uncle Herman
face-to-face.Copy !req
263. Ja?Copy !req
264. Now none of that, Spot.
Sit! Stay!Copy !req
265. Now, Spot, cut that out.Copy !req
266. That Spot.Copy !req
267. Thanks for helping me
find him, Dad.Copy !req
268. Oh, that's quite all right, Eddie.
But you must remember
to keep him chained in the backyard.Copy !req
269. And we've got to break him
of that habit of sneaking down
to the wrecking yard...Copy !req
270. and begging for leftovers.Copy !req
271. Yeah. Last week he got ahold
of an old Edsel,Copy !req
272. and he was sick for three days.Copy !req
273. Hey, Grandpa's taking his nap.
Would you come down in the dungeon...Copy !req
274. and run some more
of his home movies for me?Copy !req
275. Sure. Which ones
would you like to see, Eddie?Copy !req
276. Oh, how about the track meet
in Transylvania you were in,Copy !req
277. when you were a young guy?Copy !req
278. Oh, you mean
that cross-country run?
Yeah.Copy !req
279. You know, Eddie,
I was so far ahead of the pack,Copy !req
280. the crowd had to
run after me with torches
to show me the finish line.Copy !req
281. Come on.Copy !req
282. See, Dr. Leinbach,
there is too such a house.Copy !req
283. Ja, ja, I see a house.Copy !req
284. But I also know little boys.Copy !req
285. You see an old,
broken-down house,Copy !req
286. and you imagine
that it's haunted with green men...Copy !req
287. and dungeons
and all sorts of crazy things.Copy !req
288. But this is where
Uncle Herman lives.
I want you to meet him.Copy !req
289. Sure. Sure.
Meet your Uncle Herman.Copy !req
290. Go on.
We'll knock on the door.Copy !req
291. Eh, nobody comes, see?Copy !req
292. So I prove to you
it's an empty house,Copy !req
293. and you forget
all of this nonsense
and we go home.Copy !req
294. You forget all about it.
All right? Come on.Copy !req
295. Quiet. Someone's coming.Copy !req
296. Yes? May I help you?Copy !req
297. Excuse me, lady. Uh,Copy !req
298. you live here?Copy !req
299. Well, yes.
We've lived here for years.Copy !req
300. Oh, why hello, Galen.Copy !req
301. How are you?
Hi, Marilyn.
I brought a friend of mine over.Copy !req
302. He wants to meet
Aunt Lily, Grandpa,
Uncle Herman and Eddie.Copy !req
303. Oh, that's just fine.
They're all home.
Won't you come in?Copy !req
304. If you'll wait just a minute,
I'll tell Aunt Lily you're here.Copy !req
305. Aunt Lily! Aunt Lily?Copy !req
306. You see, such a nice lady.Copy !req
307. You wanna meet Spot?Copy !req
308. Spot? Spot?
What is a Spot, what?Copy !req
309. Their pet who lives
under the stairs.
I told you about him.Copy !req
310. Oh, sure, sure.
Him I gotta meet.Copy !req
311. Leinbach,
you didn't see an animal.Copy !req
312. In reality, you saw
a gas pipe with a leak.
You understand?Copy !req
313. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.Copy !req
314. Whoever saw a gas pipe
with eyes and teeth?Copy !req
315. Uh, may I help you?Copy !req
316. Hi, Aunt Lily. I brought
a friend of mine over, Dr. Leinbach.Copy !req
317. Oh, how do you do?Copy !req
318. Oh, excuse my appearance.
I was just getting some olives
out of the jar.Copy !req
319. If she was getting olives,
I'd hate to see the martinis.Copy !req
320. Uh, Marilyn said
you wanted to meet the family.Copy !req
321. Well, Grandpa's right in here
taking his siesta.Copy !req
322. Let me wake him up.Copy !req
323. No, no, no, no, no!
Please, please, don't disturb him.Copy !req
324. Oh, all right,
but I'm sure he wouldn't mind.Copy !req
325. He hangs around the house
like this all the time.Copy !req
326. Isn't this a neat place,
Dr. Leinbach?Copy !req
327. Where's Uncle Herman
and Eddie?Copy !req
328. Oh, well, they're both
downstairs in the dungeon.Copy !req
329. I'll get them.Copy !req
330. Leinbach,
get a grip on yourself!Copy !req
331. You're seeing things
the kid made up!Copy !req
332. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
I know what it is.Copy !req
333. I didn't wake up
this morning.Copy !req
334. I'm having one of them
Freudian dreams.Copy !req
335. Look at him.
Look at him.Copy !req
336. Look at him
hanging there like a bat.Copy !req
337. He can't be real.
I'll pinch him.Copy !req
338. No! No! No! No! No!Copy !req
339. Oh, now here are
my two boys now.Copy !req
340. Hi, Gale.
Hi, Eddie.Copy !req
341. Oh, hi, Gale.
How are you, son?Copy !req
342. Oh, and who is this
you brought with you?Copy !req
343. Uh, Herman,
this is Dr. Leinbach.Copy !req
344. Oh, how do you do,
Dr. Leinbach?Copy !req
345. You are Uncle Herman?Copy !req
346. - Oh, you're German?
- Ja.Copy !req
347. Oh, by any chance, did you know
my family doctor in Germany...Copy !req
348. Dr. Frankenstein?Copy !req
349. He made me what I am today.Copy !req
350. Come on. Come on, Leinbach.
Don't go to pieces.Copy !req
351. Remember your training...
17 years in Vienna.Copy !req
352. Now you know that
what you are seeing over there
doesn't really exist.Copy !req
353. It's all in the mind.
It's nothing.Copy !req
354. So, please, you're going to
turn around...Copy !req
355. and walk right through
that Uncle Herman
as if he was air.Copy !req
356. That way you'll prove
that he's nothing.Copy !req
357. So come on, Siegfried,
you can do it, huh?
Come on.Copy !req
358. Oh, good heavens!
What happened?Copy !req
359. That is the hardest hunk
of nothing I ever saw.Copy !req
360. Uncle Herman, I think
I'd better take him home.Copy !req
361. He looks like he might
get carsick in the house.Copy !req
362. - Oh, that's a shame.
- Stick with me, kid.Copy !req
363. I'm a sick man.Copy !req
364. Drop in anytime.Copy !req
365. I don't know what kind
of a doctor he is,Copy !req
366. but, you know,
he oughta see a psychiatrist.Copy !req
367. That's right, Mom and Dad.
We went over to that
neat old haunted house.Copy !req
368. Dr. Leinbach met Uncle Herman
and the whole family.Copy !req
369. Oh, now, Galen...
Now please, dear. Please.Copy !req
370. Galen, we believe you.Copy !req
371. We believe that he met everybody
and saw everybody.Copy !req
372. He met and saw the pet
that breathes fire,Copy !req
373. and the grandpa
who sleeps upside down.Copy !req
374. And the little boy with the pointed ears.
And especially green old Uncle Herman.Copy !req
375. We believe you.
Now, you've had quite a day.Copy !req
376. Why don't you go upstairs
and take your nap.
Okay, Pop.Copy !req
377. And thank you for believing
about Uncle Herman.Copy !req
378. That's all right.Copy !req
379. John Stewart,
what did you do that for?
What?Copy !req
380. Now he'll go on believing
in those stories he made up.Copy !req
381. Oh, look, honey.
Today, a kid hasn't got
very much he can believe in,Copy !req
382. in the way of fairy stories and giants
and knights in armor.Copy !req
383. Now if he's got
a little Uncle Herman
to believe in,Copy !req
384. let him hold on to it
as long as he can.Copy !req
385. Maybe you're right, dear.Copy !req
386. Oh, by the way, Dr. Leinbach
sent his nurse over today
with his bill.Copy !req
387. Well, he didn't waste
any time, did he?Copy !req
388. No. But it's a funny thing.Copy !req
389. A well-known doctor like that,
writing his bills with a crayon?Copy !req