The Munsters 1x26

Directed by Joseph Pevney

The Standells, a rock group from Hollywood, are in town for a club appearance. They want a secluded place to stay in order to escape from their screaming teenage fans. Their manager pays an exorbitant fee to the Munsters to use their house for the weekend. The Munsters pack up and relocate to a hotel, but they can’t get adjusted to its cleanliness and normality. When they arrive home prematurely, they find The Standells singing, “I Want to Hold Your Hand”, and throwing a wild party filled with far-out beatniks and hipsters. The Munsters are initially shocked, but soon find that they fit in with these freaky people – who never once question their unusual appearance.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. You know, Lily, it's very nice to relax after supper.

2. Did you have a hard day at the parlor, dear?

3. Did I? People were in and out all day.

4. Eh, don't complain, Herman. You should be grateful you've got a going business.

5. What is it you've got there, Herman?

6. Popcorn. I-I thought I'd make some...

7. and sort of keep things jumping.

8. Now you stay there, Spot, and be a good boy.

9. Hey, Dad, I got a new record today.

10. Is it okay if I play it on the phonograph?

11. Why, of course, Eddie.

12. I think it's very nice for a young boy to be interested in music.

13. You know, Eddie, back in the Old Country,

14. you couldn't keep me away from good music.

15. Hmm! Why, I used to haunt the opera house night and day.

16. Turn the horn around, Eddie, so that we can all hear it.

17. Huh.

18. But, Pop, they're The Standells.

19. Every kid in school is crazy about 'em.

20. And they're coming to town for a concert.

21. Boy, I'd give anything to meet 'em face-to-face.

22. Whew, Eddie...

23. We can all be thankful that that will never happen.

24. Okay, okay, Pops. So we're picking up 8,000 for a one-night stand in this town.

25. We don't want to get stomped to death.

26. Yeah, that last hotel was too much with those 2,000 screaming kids in the lobby.

27. Look, why don't you rent us a mansion with a couple of swimming pools.

28. Like you did in Beverly Hills.

29. You guys wrecked the last two places like that...

30. Cost us $15,000 damages.

31. Well, then get us a place on the outskirts, one we can't hurt.

32. Hey, that's a good idea. Right on.

33. Yeah. Well, all right. All right.

34. I've got a real estate agent working on it, and he's spotted a place.

35. "1313 Mockingbird Lane."

36. It's owned by some people named, uh, "Munster."

37. I'm going out there now and try to make a deal.

38. Yeah, when those Munsters find out what we're willing to pay,

39. they'll practically fall over dead.

40. It's nice you're interested in our house, Mr. Murdock,

41. but it simply isn't for rent.

42. But it would be just right for these, uh, friends of mine.

43. And I'm prepared to make a very attractive offer.

44. Oh, but my aunt and uncle are out right now, and Grandfather's up in the attic.

45. Oh, uh, working?

46. Oh, no. He just likes to hang around up there.

47. I only want to rent the place for my clients for the weekend.

48. And we're prepared to pay $500.

49. Well, I really don't believe they'd consider renting it.

50. Are you sure you heard me right, miss?

51. I said $1,500 for a weekend.

52. Oh, well, that's very generous,

53. but they're very touchy about having strangers in the house.

54. In all the years that we've lived here,

55. I can't recall more than eight or nine people ever getting past the front door.

56. Yes. Well, uh, you folks think it over.

57. And have your aunt or uncle call me, huh?

58. Here's my card. Oh, thank you.

59. Good-bye. Good-bye.

60. Even my boys couldn't hurt this dump.

61. This Mr. Murdock seemed very anxious to rent the place.

62. But $1,500, just for the weekend?

63. Must be some congressman here on government business.

64. Mm-hmm. I don't think so.

65. He called back three times.

66. And he said he'd even put us all up at a hotel if we'd rent the place.

67. But we don't even know who the man represents.

68. I-I mean, what would the neighbors think...

69. if they saw a bunch of strange-looking people living in our home?

70. Grandpa, we could use the money.

71. We still owe that bill to the vet...

72. from the last time you went out prowling a-and caught distemper.

73. Grandpa, if you'd taken your shots when I told you to,

74. you could have saved us $400.

75. Hey, Mom, if we do rent the place,

76. could I use some of the money to buy Spot a new toy?

77. Oh, Eddie, we gave him a foreign sports car for Christmas.

78. He played with it a couple of times,

79. and then he threw it over the back fence.

80. Uncle Herman, what should I tell the man if he calls back again?

81. Marilyn, dear, I've thought the thing over from all angles,

82. and I have come to a conclusion.

83. We will accept the man's offer.

84. That is my decision as head of the house.

85. That's all right with you, isn't it, pussycat?

86. Oh, uh, Lily, I'm gonna leave the key under the mat, dear,

87. for our temporary tenants.

88. We don't want any burglars getting in here.

89. Eh, Herman, how are our tenants going to know...

90. that the key is under the mat?

91. Please, Grandpa, I've taken care of everything.

92. I hope those tenants don't ruin our beautiful yard.

93. Oh, dear, yes. It's taken us years to get it in this condition.

94. Lily, I've taken care of that too, dear.

95. Wait a minute! I forgot to say good-bye to Spot.

96. Good-bye, Spot!

97. We're leaving now, Spot!

98. Now, you be a good boy while we're gone.

99. He's a good fellow, isn't he?

100. What is that? You got me.

101. Since when has the morgue been giving curb service?

102. Grandpa, Lily, Marilyn, you go on in and register.

103. I'll park the car. There's a sign... underground garage.

104. Underground? Herman, let me go with you.

105. I might run into a few old friends.

106. No, Grandpa. You go on in with the girls and keep an eye on them.

107. There are lots of fresh traveling salesmen in hotel lobbies.

108. May I? Yeah, here.

109. What do you got in here? Just my father's extra pair of shoes.

110. Hey, guys, what do you think of this coop?

111. Reminds me of the converted car barn we played in San Francisco.

112. Hey...

113. - What was that? - Well, it was no swallow from Capistrano.

114. Hey, look at this thing.

115. That's crazy, man. You can see the notes while you play 'em.

116. Hey, dig this lopsided "geetar."

117. Wow. Wow.

118. Hey, guys, you know what?

119. This calls for a party.

120. That's a good idea.

121. Let's get on the horn and call us up some playmates. Now you're talking!

122. Eh, say, uh, what's this thing?

123. Uh, that's the air conditioner, sir. Well, turn it on.

124. The air seems awfully fresh in here. Yes, sir.

125. Hey, Mom, can I go out and walk around the ledge?

126. Oh, no. No, Eddie. You might fall off and hurt somebody.

127. Now you go right in, Eddie, and get ready for bed.

128. No dust! And at these prices too!

129. Uh, uh, Grandpa,

130. the bellboy is holding out his hand.

131. What for? You're supposed to grease his palm.

132. Oh!

133. I'm sorry.

134. Where were you, Herman? Oh, Lily, I had a terrible time parking.

135. Yeah. You know, I think this hotel is having labor trouble.

136. Just as I drove in their underground garage,

137. the attendant quit. What kind of a dump is this?

138. Mom,

139. I don't think I can sleep in that creepy bed.

140. Could I sleep in the dresser drawer?

141. At least it has handles on it.

142. We'll see, Eddie. Oh, Herman,

143. I don't know about this place.

144. I wish we were back in our own cozy little house...

145. enjoying a nice, quiet evening.

146. The Smith Brothers have arrived!

147. Sorry to hear about that eye.

148. Hey, sweetheart...

149. Hey, Tony, Nick, the P.T.A. have arrived!

150. Come on in.

151. Oh, Herman, I thought we were going to spend...

152. an enjoyable weekend away from home, but nothing has worked out.

153. I agree, dear. I think it's ridiculous...

154. to put up with all these hardships and inconveniences.

155. But how can we go home? We signed that lease.

156. Oh, I don't care if we did.

157. We'll just ask them to leave.

158. I'm with you all the way, dear.

159. Eh, but will you do the talking?

160. All right.

161. Oh, Marilyn, will you get Grandpa so we can get going?

162. Come on, Grandpa. I'll be right with you.

163. What's going on here?

164. And look at the house. It's all lit up.

165. Yes, it sure gives it an eerie effect.

166. Listen! I hear music.

167. Those people who rented our house are throwing a party.

168. Lily, let's go back to the hotel.

169. Herman, Herman, no, no. We'll do no such thing.

170. That is our house, and those people are throwing a wild party.

171. Now you, as head of the family, will go right in there and demand that they leave!

172. Go ahead and knock. All right.

173. Eh, look here, I... Come on in.

174. Hey, Zeno, some cats from L.A. just...

175. blew in. Look, you don't understand. We...

176. Go on in and mingle, doll! Come on in.

177. We don't know anybody either.

178. Man, is that way out!

179. Did you see the hairdo on the tall one?

180. It's the greatest thing since Carl Sandburg.

181. Herman, say something.

182. Pardon me, young man,

183. but do you think I could... Uh, just cool it, man. You'll get your chance.

184. those are the people who rented our house?

185. you're not a bit like the rest of your group.

186. Yes, I know. I'm the plain one in the family.

187. Cool it!

188. Cool it, everybody! Cool it! Cool it!

189. The hermit's gonna groove us!

190. This reminds me of that wild party at Mayerling...

191. just before the grand duke went upstairs and blew his brains out.

192. In the vortex of the future...

193. of that cool tomorrow land,

194. we'll all wig there,

195. play a gig there in that great nonunion band.

196. Scuba doo... and scuba dabba.

197. Life's a gas, and life's a grabba.

198. Hip is hip, and groove is groovy.

199. Life's a wild Fellini movie.

200. When that hairy fist of silence...

201. slugs us, bugs us, puts us down...

202. Hmm. We'll all wing it, we'll all sing it:

203. "Guy Lombardo's back in town."

204. Oh, that guy sure cuts away the tinsel, don't he?

205. Oh, Grandpa, isn't this a fun party?

206. Yes, I haven't seen so many good-looking people...

207. in one place since we closed down the mausoleum back home.

208. Let's hear from the Jolly Green Giant!

209. Yeah! Come on, Herman!

210. O-Oh, oh, no. Not me.

211. Oh, dear, I think he's going to recite.

212. Um... Ibbity bibbity sibbity sab.

213. I-Ibbity bibbity canal boat.

214. Dictionary... down the ferry.

215. Mary, Mary, quite contrary.

216. Um, Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear.

217. Fuzzy Wuzzy lost his hair.

218. S-Scuba doo and scuba die.

219. That chicken's not too young to fry.

220. L-Life is real, life is earnest.

221. If you're cold, turn up the furnace.

222. Th... I-I thank you.

223. Man, that cat is deep.

224. Yeah, what a message.

225. And now we have a rare treat in store for you.

226. A truly great talent, and a member of my own family.

227. I would like to present to you, group,

228. that swinging chick from Transylvania, my wife!

229. Eh, let's all hear it for Lily!

230. Go ahead, Aunt Lily. Don't be shy.

231. Cats, you ain't heard nothin' yet!

232. Get a load of this cat... You'd think he owned the place.

233. Thank you, pussycat.

234. Well, good night, fellas. Oh, listen. Good night.

235. If your act ever dies, give me a call at the parlor.

236. Ah. So long. We really dig you people!

237. And someday we'll return the favor.

238. Bye. Bye.

239. So long.

240. Look, Pop, I got their autograph.

241. "To Eddie Munster, a real gone gasser.

242. Sincerely, The Standells."

243. Huh! Well, isn't that nice, Eddie?

244. You know, Lily, I'm gonna sleep a lot better tonight, dear,

245. knowing that the future of America...

246. is in the hands of boys like these.

247. Good morning, everybody. Good morning, Grandpa.

248. Good morning. Oh, what an evening.

249. You know, I fell asleep the moment my head hit the slab.

250. You're a little late this morning, Grandpa. Let me heat up your coffee.

251. It's all right, Lily. I'll take care of it.

252. Well, Uncle Herman,

253. we certainly had a lot of fun last night, didn't we? We certainly did, dear.

254. But you know something, Marilyn?

255. It's nice just to be the plain old Munsters again.

256. And go back to normal living.

257. Oh, you're so right, Herman.

258. Good morning, dear. Good morning.

259. Good morning. Morning, Eddie.