1. Thanks, Jack. I've had
a wonderful evening.
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2. This is where you
live? Yep, this is it.
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3. Come on in and have a cup of coffee?
I want you to meet my aunt and uncle.
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4. Well, I, uh...
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5. I guess I could walk
you to the front door.
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6. Sure you won't change
your mind and come in?
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7. I don't think so.
It's pretty late.
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8. What's the matter?
Lose your keys?
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9. No. I probably just left
them in my other purse. Oh.
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10. Why are you whispering?
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11. I don't want to wake
your folks. Oh, don't
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12. worry about them.
They're always up all night.
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13. Someone's coming.
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14. Hello, Marilyn.
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15. Hi, Uncle Herman.
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16. Uncle Herman, I'd like to have
you meet my date. This is...
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17. Oh, Uncle Herman.
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18. What's the matter
with me, anyway?
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19. Well...
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20. How's the game, Grandpa?
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21. Oh, I've got him this
time! I've really got him!
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22. At the sound of the
tone, it'll be 8:09.
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23. Nevermore. Nevermore.
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24. Your move.
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25. Oh, you... you... You
fell right into my trap.
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26. Eddie! What are you
doing in that fireplace again?
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27. - You know you're not supposed
to sit in a draft.
- Oh, I'm having fun.
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28. Eddie, don't talk fresh to your
mother and come out of there.
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29. Gee.
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30. Now, you be a good boy.
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31. See? Mommy sewed the
ear back on your Woof-Woof.
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32. Gee, I don't want to go to
bed yet. It's still dark out.
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33. Eddie, you will
do as you're told.
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34. Aw, you're always picking on me.
You never holler at Marilyn that way.
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35. Just never you
mind about Marilyn.
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36. You must remember... she's
not as fortunate as the rest of us.
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37. Now you get on up to bed.
And don't forget to close the lid.
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38. Night, Eddie.
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39. I just came down
to say good night.
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40. You got home early, dear.
Did you have a nice time?
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41. Yes, I guess so.
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42. Would you like a
little something to eat?
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43. I have some warm
ladyfingers In the oven.
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44. No, thank you, Aunt Lily.
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45. Night, everybody.
Good night, Marilyn.
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46. - Night, Grandpa.
- Good night, darling.
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47. Marilyn...
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48. I hope you're not going
to start that again, Herman.
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49. Well, she's your niece, you
know. She's your sister's kid.
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50. Nobody on my side of the
family ever looked like that.
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51. It's just one of those unfortunate
things that happen. Poor dear.
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52. I wish she'd get married. We could
use some fresh blood in this family.
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53. We'd all like to
see her get married.
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54. But she just doesn't seem
to be able to hold a man.
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55. Well, if you don't do something about it
soon, we'll have her on our hands forever.
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56. I have to do something
about it? Why always me?
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57. It's enough I have to go out
and scare up the rent every day.
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58. You think you're the
only one who works hard?
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59. How would you like to have to clean
nine rooms and a dungeon every day?
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60. Will you stop the arguing? There's
enough noise in here to wake the living.
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61. Grandpa, we just don't want to
see Marilyn end up an old maid.
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62. All right. All right.
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63. I'll take care of it. I'll
get her a suitable beau.
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64. You? How are you gonna do it?
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65. Well, don't you worry about it.
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66. Why, in the Old Country,
whenever we needed a
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67. man, didn't I always
manage to dig somebody up?
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68. Hmph!
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69. I... I-I thought he was
gonna get a fan down there.
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70. No, not now, Igor, please.
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71. Go away. Go away. Not now.
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72. Now, let's see what we have.
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73. "Poison apples, poison bananas,
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74. poison fruit salad,
poison enchiladas." Hmm!
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75. "Poison TV dinners." Hmph.
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76. "Poison." Now, why are you
showing me poisons, huh?
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77. Can't you understand English?
"Potions," I said. "Potions."
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78. Love potion, please.
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79. Thank you. Aha!
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80. There it is.
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81. "To win the love of man or maid,
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82. "quaff this potion unafraid.
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83. "To have the lover
of thy choosing,
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84. shake the bottle
well ere using."
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85. Now, the first thing to
do is... Ah, yes. Yes, yes.
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86. Sift in a cup of
powdered whale heart.
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87. A teaspoon of
nightingale tongues.
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88. A pinch of hexachlorophene.
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89. A touch of Frank Sinatra.
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90. And now, for the
secret ingredient...
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91. A woman's tears.
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92. Ooh, that's mighty
powerful stuff!
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93. Ah. Now.
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94. If I could just get Marilyn
to drink this potion,
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95. why, every man who sees
her will fall in love with her.
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96. Oh, I tell you... if this stuff
turns out half as good...
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97. as the batch I made
for Elizabeth Taylor,
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98. why, then Marilyn
will be irresistible!
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99. Oh, it's you, Mr. Bloom!
Oh, yes. It's me, all right.
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100. I thought it might be... them.
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101. Since they moved in, one
has to be prepared for anything.
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102. Oh, you don't have to tell
me, Mrs. Cribbins. Smell this.
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103. What is it? Garlic.
Wards off evil.
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104. Does it work? Oh, yes. Oh, yes,
indeed. Keeps their kind away.
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105. Yes, well, I can understand why.
I mean, did you ever see the wife?
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106. She's not exactly what I'd call a live
one. Mmm, you can say that again.
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107. And the one they call
Herman. He has the kind
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108. of body you expect to
see fall out of a closet.
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109. And this was such a nice
neighborhood until they moved in.
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110. Well, I suppose there's no
use putting it off any longer.
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111. I've gotta deliver a
package over there.
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112. Oh, by the way, what are those
workmen doing out in your backyard?
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113. Installing an
electric fence. Those
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114. Munsters are not running
me off my property.
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115. But I don't want them wandering
over here, if you know what I mean.
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116. Keep them in their place.
That's the ticket, Mrs. Cribbins.
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117. Good morning. Morning.
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118. What's that? Oatmeal.
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119. Oatmeal! Blech!
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120. Why can't we eat like
we did in the old days?
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121. Oh, uh, is this Marilyn's bowl?
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122. Yes, of course. She
always sits there.
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123. Might as well
start without them.
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124. You know, I, uh... I don't
feel so hungry right now.
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125. I think I'll grab something
later in the laboratory.
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126. Grandpa! You know you're not
supposed to smoke before breakfast!
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127. Morning, Aunt Lily.
Good morning, dear.
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128. I'm late. I gotta run. I'll grab a
cup of coffee at the school cafeteria.
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129. Oh. Very well, dear. Uh, try
not to get home before dark.
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130. Bye.
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131. Oh, dear. Everything's ice cold.
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132. Morning, Mom. Morning, Eddie.
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133. Morning, dear.
Good morning, dear.
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134. Isn't Marilyn coming down to
breakfast? Oh, she's already left.
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135. Oh. Well, that's just as well. I wanted
to speak to you about her anyway.
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136. Oh, you mean about
her problem with boys?
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137. Yes. You know, Lily,
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138. I think it's
partially our fault.
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139. What do you mean? Well,
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140. maybe we should try and
be more friendly with people.
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141. You must admit that ever
since we moved into this house,
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142. we've hardly had anything
to do with the neighbors.
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143. They must think
we're terrible snobs.
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144. If we don't make an
effort to be a little more
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145. friendly with the people
in this community,
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146. we're never gonna attract
any young men to this house.
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147. Well, for Marilyn's
sake, I'll try.
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148. Good. That's the spirit.
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149. Mmm.
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150. Mmm! Mmm!
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151. Mmm! Mmm!
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152. Lily, it just came over me.
You've never looked more lovely.
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153. Strange. I was just thinking...
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154. how particularly handsome
you looked this morning.
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155. Isn't anybody gonna
say how lovely I look?
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156. I think there's someone
at the front door.
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157. Well, whoever it is,
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158. try and be a little
bit more friendly.
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159. Of course. Oh, if
you're looking for me,
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160. I'll be out back
watering the weeds.
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161. - Yes?
- Um... Eh...
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162. A... A package. Uh,
s-sign here, please.
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163. Thank you.
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164. Well, hello there! I'm
Mr. Bloom, your postman.
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165. Mind if I ask you a
question? Not at all.
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166. Do you believe in
love at first sight?
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167. Is it gonna be much longer?
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168. Uh, uh, may I... May I
be of some assistance?
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169. Mr. Bloom! Please!
Call me Warren.
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170. Warren, please! Call me Tiger.
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171. Ooh! I must look a fright.
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172. Oh! Not at all, Mrs. Cribbins.
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173. Yolanda. After all,
we are neighbors.
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174. All right. Yolanda.
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175. My friends call me Yo-Yo.
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176. - Yo-Yo?
- What is it, darling?
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177. Oh, my darling! My
darling! I love you! I love you!
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178. I can't understand the way
that mailman carried on.
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179. Perhaps I used too much perfume.
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180. And that Mrs. Cribbins,
the way she went for me.
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181. Maybe I just came on too strong.
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182. A little bit of that old Munster
charm goes a long way.
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183. I can't imagine
what he sees in me.
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184. After all, I'm not exactly
a schoolgirl anymore.
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185. Are you kidding?
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186. Hah! Why, Lily,
you're as lovely today...
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187. as the day I married you.
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188. Oh, and you're just as handsome.
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189. You know, they just don't
make men like you anymore.
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190. Come in.
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191. Will somebody please tell me...
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192. what's going on
around this madhouse?
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193. What are you talking about?
Mmm! What am I talking about?
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194. Here. I'll show
you. Come with me.
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195. It's Tiger!
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196. Poor devil. You'd better go
down there and straighten him out.
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197. I'll straighten him
out. No, no, Grandpa!
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198. I'll go down and talk to
him. Oh, and Herman,
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199. you might as well go over and
have a little talk with Mrs. Cribbins.
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200. She's been calling every 10
minutes. Oh, and whatever you do,
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201. let her down easy.
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202. Be kind to her. All right.
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203. But don't expect too much.
Uh, the woman's mad about me.
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204. Well, hello there.
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205. Mrs. Cribbins. Hello there.
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206. I was just on my
way over to see you.
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207. Oh, you naughty boy. You
promised to call me Yo-Yo.
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208. Well, Yo-Yo... Uh, Yo-Yo? Hmm?
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209. Feeling better, Mr. Bloom?
Oh, yes. Dear me, yes.
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210. Much better... now
that you're here.
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211. Oh, wait, now, Mr. Bloom. That's just the
sort of thing I want to talk to you about.
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212. Herman! Wait for Yo-Yo! You really
must control yourself, Mr. Bloom.
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213. Lily! Lily! Excuse me.
My husband needs me.
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214. I need you more!
Don't leave me, my pet!
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215. Herman, wait for Yo-Yo!
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216. Darling! My sweet!
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217. I love you! Don't
you understand?
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218. You will love me!
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219. Boo!
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220. No, my pigeon! You
bring out the beast in me!
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221. Front door!
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222. Ohh!
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223. Will somebody please
get that door? Herman!
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224. Lily! Herman, wait for Yo-Yo!
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225. No respect for old age.
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226. Sorry, Grandpa. I forgot my key.
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227. Oh, I'm not surprised.
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228. Nothing that happens
around here surprises me.
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229. Oh, uh, incidentally,
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230. how did your date go tonight?
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231. I think this one really likes
me. He's asked to see me again.
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232. Of course. That
stuff never fails.
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233. What stuff?
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234. Oh, just a little something I
put in your oatmeal this morning.
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235. Love potion. Makes
you irresistible!
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236. But, Grandpa, I didn't
have any oatmeal today.
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237. Well, don't worry. I'll mix up
another batch for you tomorrow.
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238. I'm sorry. Don't
be sorry, Grandpa.
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239. Don't you see? This means
he likes me for myself.
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240. Oh, well, but even so,
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241. a little magic now
and then never hurts.
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242. Grandpa, there's more
than one kind of magic.
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243. Hmm. If Marilyn didn't
get it, I wonder who did.
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244. I love you!
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245. Control yourself!
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246. I think I'd better go to my
room. That stuff's gonna wear off,
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247. and it's gonna be
any second now.
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248. Darling, darling. I
love you, my darling.
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249. I love you with every
fiber of my being.
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250. Eee!
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251. Well, dear,
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252. think we let them
down easy enough?
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253. Grandpa?
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254. Did you get rid of the rest of
that love potion like I told you to?
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255. Yes, I got rid of it.
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256. I don't like the way
you're laughing, Grandpa.
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257. Just ho w did you get rid of it?
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258. I, uh, threw it over the fence
into Mrs. Cribbins's garden.
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259. I think I got her
right in the cabbages.
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260. It was very nice of you to come
over this evening, Mr. Bloom.
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261. Frankly, since that terrible
experience, I've been afraid to be alone.
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262. Well, it was very nice of
you to ask me, Mrs. Cribbins.
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263. We bachelors don't get a
home-cooked meal very often.
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264. Well, I hope you enjoy
what I've cooked, Mr. Bloom.
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265. Oh, I'm sure I will, Mrs. Cribbins.
Would you like a sniff, Mr. Bloom?
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266. Well, what is it, Mrs. Cribbins?
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267. Corned beef and cabbage... the cabbage
right out of my own garden, Mr. Bloom.
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268. Yo-Yo, call me Tiger!
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269. Well, I guess it takes
all kinds of people...
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270. to make a world.
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