1. (Howard) Come with us now
on a journey through time and space.Copy !req
2. (Vince) To the world of
"The Mighty Boosh".Copy !req
3. Hey, birthday boy!
How's it going?Copy !req
4. - Going well, thank you, yeah.
- Cool.Copy !req
5. - Got me a present, then, have you?
- Uh... I've ordered it for you. It's on its way.Copy !req
6. - I'm sure you have.
- I have. It's on its way.Copy !req
7. - Every year you say that, Vince.
- I was thinking.Copy !req
8. Let's have a massive party this weekend,
celebrate your birthday. It'll be genius.Copy !req
9. I'm all right. I'm gonna have a quiet night in
with Lester Corncrake.Copy !req
10. A 12-disc box set of Charlie Mingus just came
in - there's some pretty raw outtakes on there.Copy !req
11. On one of them, you can hear
Charlie himself laughing of-mic.Copy !req
12. It's a pretty warm moment.
You're welcome to join us if you fancy.Copy !req
13. Yeah... I'm fine, thanks. I don't think
I can sit cross-legged by candlelight,Copy !req
14. holding hands with you and Lester,
listening to Charlie Mingle.Copy !req
15. - It's Charlie Mingus.
- Whatever.Copy !req
16. - Let's have a big party. It'll be fun.
- I hate parties.Copy !req
17. - Who hates parties?
- I do.Copy !req
18. - Why?
- You know why.Copy !req
19. - Not that old business. That was years ago.
- Years ago?Copy !req
20. Well, it's fresh in my mind, sonny Jim.
Fresh as a hot bagel from Mama's oven.Copy !req
21. Where's the bouncy castle?Copy !req
22. Vince told us there'd be one.
You've wasted our time.Copy !req
23. It's coming. Vince said so.Copy !req
24. Listen, loser. We've waited two hours.
Now you're gonna get it!Copy !req
25. - What?
- Let's jump on Howard instead.Copy !req
26. Nooooo!Copy !req
27. Why, Vince?
Why did you do it?Copy !req
28. - No one was gonna come to your party.
- Yeah.Copy !req
29. - I panicked, said there'd be a bouncy castle.
- They all kicked my head in.Copy !req
30. - At least they'd taken their shoes of.
- That's not funny.Copy !req
31. - I'm sorry.
- I really wanted that bouncy castle.Copy !req
32. - If we have a party, I'll get you one.
- I think I'm a bit old for that now, don't you?Copy !req
33. - 50's not that old.
- Yeah, I'm not 50, am I?Copy !req
34. - How old are you?
- I'm 32!Copy !req
35. Ten years older than you.Copy !req
36. Look, the thing is, it doesn't matter how old
you are, bouncy castles are still genius.Copy !req
37. I went on one a couple of weeks ago. It was
amazing. I bounced as high as my own head!Copy !req
38. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
39. - As if you did!
- I did.Copy !req
40. - Do any somersaults?
- I did six somersaults.Copy !req
41. Six?Copy !req
42. And one of those things where you go
backwards and land on your feet. Cool.Copy !req
43. - Jimmy flips.
- I did a Jimmy flip.Copy !req
44. - Really?
- You'd have loved it.Copy !req
45. I'm not interested.
Stop trying to lure me in with a crimp.Copy !req
46. Man is born alone, Vince. He should celebrate
that day alone... in sombre isolation.Copy !req
47. - If we have a party, there'll be girls there.
- Girls!Copy !req
48. - Yeah, girls.
- These Camden dollybirds aren't for me.Copy !req
49. I'm a real man, a man of substance.
And I'm having a quiet night in.Copy !req
50. This is a nightmare,
because I've invited all of my mates.Copy !req
51. - Well, disinvite them.
- They're good people. It'll be embarrassing.Copy !req
52. Good people? Let's have a look
at some of these friends of yours.Copy !req
53. - Johnny Rhythm.
- He's a club promoter.Copy !req
54. - Vector.
- She's a photographer.Copy !req
55. - Mama Zoom.
- You know Mama Zoom.Copy !req
56. She was here last Thursday -
the one eating toast.Copy !req
57. Jacques Le Cube.
What kind of a name is that?Copy !req
58. Well, he's French and he's a cube.Copy !req
59. He's not coming to the party,
neither is anyone else.Copy !req
60. No party. And nothing on God's sweet earth
is gonna make me change my mind.Copy !req
61. Leave this to me.Copy !req
62. - Hi. Hello.
- Hi.Copy !req
63. Couldn't help noticing you
looking at the jazz records.Copy !req
64. If you like those,
you might be interested in these.Copy !req
65. It's just something I've knocked up myself -
a pencil case with a picture of a jazz musician,Copy !req
66. uniting the twin disciplines of jazz and
stationery management in a unique package.Copy !req
67. - Um... I heard there was a party here tonight.
- (Vince) Howard doesn't want a party.Copy !req
68. He'd rather sit in a dark room with his
70-year-old jazz mate swapping handsCopy !req
69. - and listening to weather reports.
- That is a joke.Copy !req
70. - So there is a party here tonight?
- Oh, yes. A big party, yeah.Copy !req
71. Yeah, it's pretty much party central
round here. My parties are legendary.Copy !req
72. - Ha-ha!
- Shut your mouth.Copy !req
73. - Great. I love parties.
- I love parties, too.Copy !req
74. - Meeting people.
- I love it.Copy !req
75. - Dancing.
- Dancing and meeting people.Copy !req
76. That's what I'm about.
Maybe I'll see you there.Copy !req
77. - Maybe you will.
- Maybe I will.Copy !req
78. - Yeah, maybe.
- Maybe!Copy !req
79. - Will I? See you?
- Yeah.Copy !req
80. Great. Bye.Copy !req
81. - Unbelievable.
- Yep, still got the moves.Copy !req
82. I've been trying to get you to have a party
for ten years - nothing.Copy !req
83. One girl comes in, bats her lashes at you,
and you melt like warm Nutella.Copy !req
84. You're just angry cos she liked me and
not you. There's gonna be sparks tonight!Copy !req
85. The times are a-changing
for Howard TJ Moon.Copy !req
86. I've still got the magic. Pow!Copy !req
87. - (door opens)
- Hey! Thanks for doing that.Copy !req
88. So spread the word - Vince Noir's having
a party. Maybe knock up some flyers.Copy !req
89. - I thought it was Howard's birthday.
- Don't put him on the flyers. No one'll come.Copy !req
90. - All right, gotcha.
- See you later.Copy !req
91. OK! The party's on, guys.
Better get inviting some people.Copy !req
92. - Thought it was a quiet night in with Lester.
- A quiet night in? Ha-ha!Copy !req
93. I think not, sir.
I'm Howard Moon, party animal.Copy !req
94. Bollo, get the big cauldron out of the loft.
I feel a punch coming on -Copy !req
95. - it's gonna be a strong one.
- I've got a bad feeling about this.Copy !req
96. Yeah, OK, Naboo.
I'll tell 'em.Copy !req
97. - The party's on.
- Yes!Copy !req
98. Result!Copy !req
99. - Oh, dammit!
- What's wrong with you?Copy !req
100. I foolishly agreed to accompany my wife
on an extreme-sports calendar shoot.Copy !req
101. - Oh, you mug!
- You plum duf!Copy !req
102. I have ordered not one, not two,
but three crates of poppers.Copy !req
103. - We're havin' it large!
- All right, don't rub it in.Copy !req
104. - And it's Bank Holiday Monday.
- Recovery Monday.Copy !req
105. That's right, easing out the comedown -Copy !req
106. while you're out there watching your wife
parading about in a jumpsuit.Copy !req
107. Hello! Idiot!Copy !req
108. - And where's Mrs Harrison?
- Staying with her sister in Bournemouth.Copy !req
109. I am greenlit the whole way.Copy !req
110. I just have to find a quiet spot, tell her I'm
going to bed at half nine, and carte blanche.Copy !req
111. Whoo!Copy !req
112. - You are so under the thumb, it's frightening.
- At least I've got a thumb.Copy !req
113. Why don't you just tell this woman
you can't make it this weekendCopy !req
114. because you're rolling with the boys?Copy !req
115. If I do that, Saboo,
she will pummel me into the dirt.Copy !req
116. - Give her the back of your tentacle.
- She's a powerful woman.Copy !req
117. Come on!Copy !req
118. Sometimes I wonder
if I made the right decisionCopy !req
119. marrying an extreme-sports calendar model.Copy !req
120. OK, what I've gone for is an olive-green
rollneck and quite a heavy-gauge corduroy.Copy !req
121. Now, hear me out. This is a bit crazy,Copy !req
122. but what if I went for a finer-gauge corduroy...
up against a mufin?Copy !req
123. - Yeah, that is a tricky one.
- Yep.Copy !req
124. - Have you got any other clothes?
- No.Copy !req
125. Right. What is going on down there?Copy !req
126. - What? Too much?
- It's not the 18th century.Copy !req
127. - Are you an explorer?
- I go my own way, sir.Copy !req
128. - (phone buzzes)
- Hello? Come up.Copy !req
129. - Who the hell's that?
- The first guests.Copy !req
130. - It's 5:45.
- Lester Corncrake came straight from work.Copy !req
131. Hey-hey-hey!Copy !req
132. Ciao! Pow! Skiddy-biddy-bow!Copy !req
133. - How are you, Lester?
- I bought you a present.Copy !req
134. - Yeah! Ooh, look at this.
- Yeah.Copy !req
135. - Thank you. What is it?
- It's a man corset.Copy !req
136. Helps keep your bangers in check.Copy !req
137. Heh! Men of our advanced age and
sexual decline need all the help we can get.Copy !req
138. Thanks a lot. But we're not actually
the same age, are we?Copy !req
139. Oh, you crack me up!Copy !req
140. - OK. Ready to bust some moves?
- Does a chicken have lips?Copy !req
141. - I've got a Chick Corea album to show you.
- I used to vomit on Chick Corea for money.Copy !req
142. Oh, my Lord!
Did you see the Bebop Brothers?Copy !req
143. - I know. It's embarrassing.
- What was that about?Copy !req
144. You gonna invite some decent people
to absorb them?Copy !req
145. Don't worry, I've invited half
the female population of Camden. It'll be cool.Copy !req
146. - Better get on with this, then.
- Catch you later. I gotta get ready.Copy !req
147. This is your basic cauldron.
If you haven't got one, don't worry.Copy !req
148. Pop down to a Woolworths
to grab yourself a metal compost bin.Copy !req
149. They're not expensive and work just as well.Copy !req
150. Now, let's talk about hash cakes.
A little tip about hash cakes:Copy !req
151. Just start of with one first,
wait about an hour, see how you feel.Copy !req
152. Don't eat 15 in one go
cos you will see the devil,Copy !req
153. and he'll try and rip your heart out
through your kneecaps.Copy !req
154. Pop 'em in the oven -
about 20 minutes, gas mark 4.Copy !req
155. Here's some I made earlier.Copy !req
156. - Bollo, where are they?
- (groans)Copy !req
157. When you are the moon,
you pretty much split people down the middle.Copy !req
158. Some people go, "Ah, look at the moon."Copy !req
159. "He's all gentle, he has a nice white face,
hanging in the sky. He's nice."Copy !req
160. And the other half go, "Ugh, he's
a vanilla rapist! Get him away from my kids!"Copy !req
161. Hey, guys. Good to see you.Copy !req
162. Hey. Nice shoes.
Straight upstairs.Copy !req
163. - Hey, Chris de Burgh!
- Hey, Bollo!Copy !req
164. High five. Heh-heh-heh!Copy !req
165. Chrissy, up you go.
Love your work!Copy !req
166. If it was all on fire in a bin. Hmph!Copy !req
167. - Ooh! Freestyle!
- These corsets are really working, Lester.Copy !req
168. What did I tell you, Howard?
Women love men with knockers.Copy !req
169. Oh, yeah! Don't look now, but I think we're
getting a little bit of attention from the ladies.Copy !req
170. Oi, sweetheart...Copy !req
171. wrap this shit up - you're having a nightmare.Copy !req
172. I've been booked to play here.Copy !req
173. No one's feeling it.
You're not in your bedroom now.Copy !req
174. - This is some ugly shit.
- Step aside, Pink Hair.Copy !req
175. Let the H-Man take control.Copy !req
176. - Hey.
- Coming out? It's heaving.Copy !req
177. - I'm waiting for the right time to emerge.
- What are you, a pupa?Copy !req
178. It's important to arrive late,
even at your own party.Copy !req
179. - It's my party.
- Oh, yeah, these people are here for you.Copy !req
180. - I'm letting you bask in the glory on your own.
- Hurry up, OK? Or you'll miss my speech.Copy !req
181. - What?
- I'm doing a small speech,Copy !req
182. about safety precautions
and fire exits and stuf.Copy !req
183. - Might even pop a couple of jokes in.
- Please don't.Copy !req
184. We all like having fun, but it's even more fun
when we can have safe fun.Copy !req
185. I've got it, Saboo!
A concept is formulating.Copy !req
186. Fleetwood Mac's Tusk in its entirety.Copy !req
187. Oh!Copy !req
188. Watch the room crumble
at the awe of the H-Man.Copy !req
189. Are you insane? There's at most one track
I could get away with, of maybe Rumours.Copy !req
190. Oh, come of it!
Tusk, in its entirety -Copy !req
191. with the pauses, as Lindsey Buckingham
intended it to be heard.Copy !req
192. Why don't you just give me a.44?
I can spray my brains on the decks.Copy !req
193. - Oh, what is your beef with the Mac?
- The same beef every right-thinking man has.Copy !req
194. They are bullshit munchers!Copy !req
195. - Start thinking outside the box.
- The box is there for a reason.Copy !req
196. To keep bald men like you inside it.Copy !req
197. You are so square!
What do you want to lay down?Copy !req
198. I would like to play "Would I Lie To You?"
By Charles and Eddie.Copy !req
199. Aaaargh...Copy !req
200. - All right, fair enough. Good choice.
- Thank you.Copy !req
201. - Slam it down.
- Can we have the music of for a minute?Copy !req
202. - Who's this joker?
- Howard Moon. It's my party. It's my birthday.Copy !req
203. Oh, happy birthday, son.
How old are you?Copy !req
204. - 32.
- Oh! You're older than me.Copy !req
205. Hi. Hello. I just want to say thanks
for coming... to my birthday.Copy !req
206. Thank you very much.
Didn't know I had so many friends.Copy !req
207. - Who are you?
- Ha-ha! Who am I?Copy !req
208. Who are you? Right back at you.Copy !req
209. Oh, a little announcement to the owner
of a blue Mazda which is parked outside:Copy !req
210. Get another car.Copy !req
211. - (bangs mic) Hello?
- My God, look at his breasts!Copy !req
212. Yep. Um, so... it's my birthday.Copy !req
213. The big 3-2. Time flies, eh?Copy !req
214. Especially when you're having fun.
A few ground rules:Copy !req
215. Don't go into the shop - there are objects
that could get broken and are valuable -Copy !req
216. and my room's out of bounds.Copy !req
217. Unless you're a young attractive girl
who likes jazz -Copy !req
218. and then it's just down there,
on the right. Ha-ha!Copy !req
219. (nervous laugh) Lester Corncrake there,
good friend of mine. Whoo!Copy !req
220. Uh, I don't really know him that well.
I just met him on the bus.Copy !req
221. Ha-ha! Ow!Copy !req
222. Yeah, so... Well, it's been a crazy old road,
I tell you that.Copy !req
223. Phew! Seems like only yesterday
I was a young guy in LeedsCopy !req
224. with a head full of dreams
and a passion for jazz-rock fusion.Copy !req
225. But I followed those dreams and that passion,
and they took me to Doncaster...Copy !req
226. Friends. People of Camden.
You are the chosen ones.Copy !req
227. - He's amazing, Who is he?
- Is he Christ?Copy !req
228. You have been brought here for one purpose,
and one purpose alone:Copy !req
229. To bask in the glory of my outfit
and party like you've never partied before!Copy !req
230. Oh, yeah, and it's Howard's birthday as well.Copy !req
231. - Music.
- (electro music)Copy !req
232. I know it's the extreme-sports calendar shoot
this weekend, but I just can't make it.Copy !req
233. No, I'm not going to Naboo's party.
I've got a headache. It's practically a migraine.Copy !req
234. Oi, you, bighead! Come over here.Copy !req
235. - I've got to go now. Bye.
- Lend me a pound. I know your sister.Copy !req
236. - Yes. I do not have a sister.
- Don't backchat me, bighead. I'll bust you up.Copy !req
237. This bighead business... I actually have a
relatively small head for a man of my stature.Copy !req
238. I like your hat, man. Can my mate Ricky
borrow it? Cos he likes it.Copy !req
239. - This would not suit Ricky.
- The thing about Ricky is, hats do suit him.Copy !req
240. - He's got one of those faces.
- That may be so,Copy !req
241. but it's forbidden for a peasant
to touch a shaman's garments.Copy !req
242. Wicksy, bust out the knife.
Jab up this joker!Copy !req
243. Ah, swordplay!Copy !req
244. Easy!
I've gotta go to Costcutter for my mum.Copy !req
245. - Argh!
- Urgh!Copy !req
246. OK... to Oddbins.Copy !req
247. - Hey!
- Thanks for upstaging me, Vince.Copy !req
248. Sorry. I have to make a big entrance like that
so everyone feels they've had contact with me.Copy !req
249. - Are the Queen Mum? Where's my present?
- It's coming. I've ordered it.Copy !req
250. Sure it is. It's my birthday, remember?Copy !req
251. - You're not having a good time?
- You're picking up on that?Copy !req
252. - You're tense.
- I am. Where's that girl?Copy !req
253. - What girl?
- Pencil-case girl. The one I had magic with.Copy !req
254. Why do you always fixate on one girl?
You gotta play the field more.Copy !req
255. If I don't get some action soon, I'm going gay.Copy !req
256. - What, you?
- What's so funny?Copy !req
257. - You're the least gay person ever.
- You've got me all wrong.Copy !req
258. - I could go gay like that, sir.
- It's not like buying a ladder.Copy !req
259. I've seen men checking me out.Copy !req
260. - Have you? You're ridiculous.
- Checking out my hot pumpkin ass.Copy !req
261. Anyway, that is so out of the blue,
you've creeped me out.Copy !req
262. - Don't worry, I don't fancy you.
- All men do - I'm the Confuser.Copy !req
263. (camp voice) "Is it a man? Is it a woman?
Not sure if I mind."Copy !req
264. - Can you sort me out with someone?
- Let's play some party games.Copy !req
265. - Sounds good.
- Get you into the spirit. It's your birthday.Copy !req
266. I'll grab some girls, yeah?
You go down to Naboo's shop.Copy !req
267. - All right. Hang on, that's out of bounds.
- Rules are meant for breaking.Copy !req
268. Sometimes rules are best bent,
just to breaking point...Copy !req
269. Can you just get downstairs, please?Copy !req
270. In you go. Hey, Brad Pierce.
Shaun Richards. Easy tonight.Copy !req
271. Hey, where do you think you're going?
Who are you?Copy !req
272. - I am a parka person.
- Bob Fossil. No way!Copy !req
273. Come on, Bollo, let me in.
For old times' sake. Please?Copy !req
274. Bollo under strict instructions -
no Bob Fossil.Copy !req
275. Listen, do you take bribes?
How about this?Copy !req
276. - It's a key to a bike I had in the '70s.
- No.Copy !req
277. Um... a song?Copy !req
278. - No.
- How about I talk to you like a baby?Copy !req
279. - (baby voice) Hi, Bollo.
- No.Copy !req
280. Come on, Bollo.
Remember Paris?Copy !req
281. Listen, Fossil, I'll give you five seconds.Copy !req
282. If you're still here, I'll pull your head of.Copy !req
283. Keep your hair in check, carpet man!
I got plenty of other parties to go to.Copy !req
284. Note to self:
I got no other parties to go to.Copy !req
285. Yes, and the clever part is,
I didn't even have a Micra!Copy !req
286. - Yeah, that's a dynamite story.
- Yep.Copy !req
287. Oh, wow! They're really coming
out of the walls, aren't they, Naboo?Copy !req
288. - Who?
- The ladies.Copy !req
289. - Yeah. How is your wife?
- Well, she's good.Copy !req
290. As long as she doesn't find out
what goes on here.Copy !req
291. - You want me to cover for you again?
- I love my wife,Copy !req
292. but when I see these chiquitas...
drives me insane.Copy !req
293. - What do you do?
- I don't do anything.Copy !req
294. - What's your secret?
- This is my secret.Copy !req
295. My God!Copy !req
296. Smooth as the bonnet of a Porsche.Copy !req
297. When you are the moon,
when you look at Earth - the Earth -Copy !req
298. the only thing you can see
is the Great Wall of China.Copy !req
299. So when I went for an eye test the optician
said, "Can you see the Great Wall of China?"Copy !req
300. I said, "Yeah, but it's a bit blurry."Copy !req
301. He said, "Is it better now?"Copy !req
302. "What about now?"Copy !req
303. "Can you see it now?"Copy !req
304. "And if I do this?"Copy !req
305. "And what about now?"Copy !req
306. "And what about... Better or worse?"Copy !req
307. "Is it more fuzzy?"Copy !req
308. "Has it come into focus?"Copy !req
309. "And now?"Copy !req
310. By this time,
his face was really close to mine -Copy !req
311. it was frightening in the dark!Copy !req
312. We're gonna play a little game now,
a little game called spin the bottle.Copy !req
313. - My kind of game.
- Carla, grab us that bottle from the side.Copy !req
314. Yeah, sure.Copy !req
315. Cheers.
Howard, do you want to do the honours?Copy !req
316. Don't mind if I do, sunshine.Copy !req
317. - Have you ever done this before?
- Course.Copy !req
318. The call me the Spindoctor. Ha-ha.Copy !req
319. Chicka chicka!Copy !req
320. I can make this bottle land wherever I wish.Copy !req
321. Best out of three?Copy !req
322. Best of five?Copy !req
323. - What the hell's going on here?
- Cool your boots. It's spin the bottle.Copy !req
324. Yeah, with my bottles.
This is valuable, ancient stuf.Copy !req
325. - Oh, my God. Nobody move.
- What?Copy !req
326. This is bad. Bad juju.
This is no ordinary bottle you smashed.Copy !req
327. - What do you mean?
- This had a demon inside.Copy !req
328. - What?
- You've released it.Copy !req
329. - Where is it?
- It's hiding.Copy !req
330. - Where?
- Inside one of you lot.Copy !req
331. Actually, it's gonna be all right.Copy !req
332. This demon only possesses
the body of a virgin.Copy !req
333. Aaaaargh!Copy !req
334. Get it out! I can feel it inside me!Copy !req
335. Only joking.Copy !req
336. It's just an ordinary bottle.Copy !req
337. - (someone clears their throat)
- Now everyone get out.Copy !req
338. - Where do you think you're going?
- Um... with you?Copy !req
339. Wow! I love your outfit, it's amazing.
You look like an Eastern princess.Copy !req
340. - Who are you?
- An extreme-sports calendar model.Copy !req
341. - Cool.
- Now come here.Copy !req
342. - Sorry, what did you say?
- An extreme-sports calendar model.Copy !req
343. - Wait. You're not the head shaman's wife?
- Yes. He's upstairs.Copy !req
344. - What are you doing, then?
- What he's been doing to me for six months.Copy !req
345. Yeah, not with me, you're not.
He's got a sword.Copy !req
346. I gotta get out of here.Copy !req
347. - Nice little place you've got here.
- Oh, shit! Shh.Copy !req
348. - How's it going?
- Vince is great, but Howard's a jerk-of.Copy !req
349. What?Copy !req
350. - Who goes there?
- There's someone in my stockroom!Copy !req
351. Show yourself.Copy !req
352. - Hello, Dennis.
- Methuselah! What are you doing here?Copy !req
353. Never mind about that, What are you
doing here? Where's your "migraine"?Copy !req
354. Um... it-it cleared up.Copy !req
355. - Who was in there with you?
- A young and handsome man.Copy !req
356. - I'm going to slice him in two!
- Oh, Dennis!Copy !req
357. - Who is he?
- I will never tell you.Copy !req
358. - Perhaps you don't need to tell me.
- Dennis...Copy !req
359. Out of my way!
I'll deal with you later.Copy !req
360. Ugh!Copy !req
361. - These alcopops taste kinda funny.
- It's a glowstick, you berk!Copy !req
362. Do us a favour.
Hide this cape, will you?Copy !req
363. Don't mind if I do, Vince. I've always
appreciated your style and everything.Copy !req
364. Ah! There you are!Copy !req
365. Prepare to die, you prancing tit!Copy !req
366. Whoo-whee!Copy !req
367. Skiddy-de-bip-bip-bop! She-bop!Copy !req
368. Ow! Ooh! My head!Copy !req
369. Let that be a lesson to you all!Copy !req
370. Dennis, you dimlo! What the fuck are you
doing? That's the wrong geezer.Copy !req
371. - You flipping truncheon!
- (Harrison) Oh!Copy !req
372. Oh. Right.Copy !req
373. Yep, sorry about that.
As you were.Copy !req
374. - Hi.
- Hi. What are you doing here?Copy !req
375. Head shaman's gone mental - thinks I got of
with his wife. He's gonna chop my head of.Copy !req
376. - What are you doing here?
- I'm in hiding.Copy !req
377. - What?
- Hiding from the shame and embarrassmentCopy !req
378. - that is my birthday party.
- It doesn't matter that you're a virgin. It's fine.Copy !req
379. Women respect that. They don't mind
that you've not gone beyond a kiss.Copy !req
380. - You've never kissed anyone, have you?
- So?Copy !req
381. - Ever held anyone's hand?
- I don't like people touching me.Copy !req
382. Anyway, I've had deeper relationships in
my mind, at a distance, than you'll ever have.Copy !req
383. - The incident with the binoculars?
- That was never proved, OK?Copy !req
384. - It was in the Guardian!
- Look, I don't flit about. I don't play the field.Copy !req
385. When I make that leap across
the physical boundary, it'll be forever, sir.Copy !req
386. Ah, there you are, you prancing kingfisher.
Prepare to die!Copy !req
387. I'm not interested in your wife.
We were just in a cupboard together.Copy !req
388. Just in a cupboard with
an extreme-sports model? I don't think so!Copy !req
389. I'm not interested in your wife.
I'm in love.Copy !req
390. - The lies of a backtracking worm!
- I'm in love with Howard.Copy !req
391. - Oh, yeah, we're in love.
- Prove it.Copy !req
392. Ugh!Copy !req
393. Ugh...Copy !req
394. - Huh?
- I'll go and rethink a few basic principles. Bye.Copy !req
395. Bye.Copy !req
396. - (chuckles) Thanks, Howard.
- Thank you.Copy !req
397. - What?
- Thank you for the gift of love.Copy !req
398. - It was just a kiss!
- A light went on. You flicked my switch, baby.Copy !req
399. You've got to stop falling for people
who give you a bit of afection.Copy !req
400. - Don't pretend you don't love me.
- Love? Howard, you've gone mad.Copy !req
401. - That's what this is all about - me and you.
- What do you mean?Copy !req
402. The arguing, the bickering,
it's because of sexual tension -Copy !req
403. the deep, powerful, molten sexual tension
that's been brewing up between us.Copy !req
404. - I don't think it was.
- You've shown me the way...Copy !req
405. - You're gonna fall.
given me the keys.Copy !req
406. - The keys to what?
- The keys to a whole new kingdom.Copy !req
407. A whole new kingdom of gaydom!Copy !req
408. I'm a gay! I'm a massive gayist!Copy !req
409. Whoo! Pucker up.Copy !req
410. - (boing)
- (both) Argh! Whoo!Copy !req
411. - (boing)
- Told you I'd got you a present.Copy !req
412. - You could have wrapped it.
- How cool is this?Copy !req
413. - Howard, hi.
- Hi!Copy !req
414. - Happy birthday.
- Thank you. You came back!Copy !req
415. - Yeah.
- Sorry, what's going on here?Copy !req
416. - She came back.
- Did she? Great.Copy !req
417. - I thought you loved me.
- That was a momentary lapse.Copy !req
418. Listen, Fiddler on the Roof,
we kissed up there.Copy !req
419. What goes on on the roof stays on the roof.Copy !req
420. - Maybe I should leave you two alone.
- Yeah.Copy !req
421. We're having relationship problems.
Nick of and get some Twiglets.Copy !req
422. Don't go anywhere. Wait there. Vince,
you're a great guy, but... the timing was of.Copy !req
423. Unbelievable! I've never been chucked in
my entire life, now I'm being chucked by you!Copy !req
424. - You'll meet someone else.
- I'll never love again.Copy !req
425. - Hi.
- Hey!Copy !req
426. - Forget it. I'm over you.
- Care to bounce?Copy !req
427. Well, looks like everything
turned out all right.Copy !req
428. It was one hell of a party!Copy !req
429. Oh, all right? Who are you?Copy !req
430. - Hey...
- You're one hot shape!Copy !req
431. I'm an old blind man!
- Come here!Copy !req
432. - No! What are you doing?
- Give it to me!Copy !req
433. - Take it like a man!
- Skiddly-doo-no!Copy !req
434. - Argh!
- Yes, it's an outrage!Copy !req
435. - A little to the left!
- An outrage!Copy !req
436. - Oh, yeah! No! Argh!
- An outrage!Copy !req
437. Oh! Feel my multi-hexagonal
textured alien barbed penis...Copy !req
438. - Skiddly-doo-no-no! I don't like it!
deep inside you!Copy !req