1. Hey, birthday boy! How's it going?Copy !req
2. - Going well, thank you, yeah.
- Cool.Copy !req
3. Got me a present,
then, have you?Copy !req
4. Uh... I've ordered it
for you. It's on its way.Copy !req
5. - I'm sure you have.
- I have. It's on its way.Copy !req
6. - Every year you say that, Vince.
- I was thinking.Copy !req
7. Let's have a massive party this weekend,
celebrate your birthday. It'll be genius.Copy !req
8. I'm all right. I'm gonna have a
quiet night in with Lester Corncrake.Copy !req
9. A 12-disc box set of
Charlie Mingus just cameCopy !req
10. in - there's some pretty
raw outtakes on there.Copy !req
11. On one of them, you can hear
Charlie himself laughing of-mic.Copy !req
12. It's a pretty warm moment.
You're welcome to join us if you fancy.Copy !req
13. Yeah... I'm fine, thanks. I don't think
I can sit cross-legged by candlelight,Copy !req
14. holding hands with you and Lester,
listening to Charlie Mingle.Copy !req
15. - It's Charlie Mingus.
- Whatever.Copy !req
16. - Let's have a big party. It'll be fun.
- I hate parties.Copy !req
17. - Who hates parties?
- I do.Copy !req
18. - Why?
- You know why.Copy !req
19. Not that old business.
That was years ago.Copy !req
20. Years ago?Copy !req
21. Well, it's fresh in my mind, sonny Jim.
Fresh as a hot bagel from Mama's oven.Copy !req
22. Where's the bouncy castle?Copy !req
23. Vince told us there'd be one.
You've wasted our time.Copy !req
24. It's coming. Vince said so.Copy !req
25. Listen, loser. We've waited two hours.
Now you're gonna get it!Copy !req
26. - What?
- Let's jump on Howard instead.Copy !req
27. Nooooo!Copy !req
28. Why, Vince? Why did you do it?Copy !req
29. - No one was gonna come to your party.
- Yeah.Copy !req
30. I panicked, said there'd
be a bouncy castle.Copy !req
31. They all kicked my head in.Copy !req
32. - At least they'd taken their shoes of.
- That's not funny.Copy !req
33. - I'm sorry.
- I really wanted that bouncy castle.Copy !req
34. If we have a
party, I'll get you one.Copy !req
35. I think I'm a bit old
for that now, don't you?Copy !req
36. - 50's not that old.
- Yeah, I'm not 50, am I?Copy !req
37. - How old are you?
- I'm 32!Copy !req
38. Ten years older than you.Copy !req
39. Look, the thing is,
it doesn't matter howCopy !req
40. old you are, bouncy
castles are still genius.Copy !req
41. I went on one a couple of weeks ago. It was
amazing. I bounced as high as my own head!Copy !req
42. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
43. - As if you did!
- I did.Copy !req
44. - Do any somersaults?
- I did six somersaults.Copy !req
45. Six?Copy !req
46. And one of those things where you go
backwards and land on your feet. Cool.Copy !req
47. - Jimmy flips.
- I did a Jimmy flip.Copy !req
48. - Really?
- You'd have loved it.Copy !req
49. ♪ Bouncy, bouncy Ooh, such a good timeCopy !req
50. ♪ Bouncy, bouncy Shoes all in a lineCopy !req
51. ♪ Bouncy, bouncy Everybody somersaultCopy !req
52. ♪ Somersault, summertime
Everybody sing alongCopy !req
53. ♪ Bouncy, bouncy Ooh, such a good timeCopy !req
54. ♪ Bouncy, bouncy
White socks slipping downCopy !req
55. ♪ Bouncy, bouncy Stilettos are a no-noCopy !req
56. ♪ Bouncy, bouncy Ooh!Copy !req
57. ♪ Bouncy, bouncy Ooh!Copy !req
58. ♪ Every time I bounce
I feel I touch the sky!Copy !req
59. I'm not interested.
Stop trying to lure me in with a crimp.Copy !req
60. Man is born alone,
Vince. He should celebrateCopy !req
61. that day alone...
in sombre isolation.Copy !req
62. If we have a party,
there'll be girls there.Copy !req
63. Girls!Copy !req
64. - Yeah, girls.
- These Camden dollybirds aren't for me.Copy !req
65. I'm a real man, a man of substance.
And I'm having a quiet night in.Copy !req
66. This is a nightmare,
because I've invited all of my mates.Copy !req
67. Well, disinvite them.Copy !req
68. They're good people.
It'll be embarrassing.Copy !req
69. Good people? Let's have a look
at some of these friends of yours.Copy !req
70. - Johnny Rhythm.
- He's a club promoter.Copy !req
71. - Vector.
- She's a photographer.Copy !req
72. - Mama Zoom.
- You know Mama Zoom.Copy !req
73. She was here last Thursday -
the one eating toast.Copy !req
74. Jacques Le Cube.
What kind of a name is that?Copy !req
75. Well, he's French and he's a cube.Copy !req
76. He's not coming to the party,
neither is anyone else.Copy !req
77. No party. And nothing on God's sweet earth
is gonna make me change my mind.Copy !req
78. Leave this to me.Copy !req
79. - Hi. Hello.
- Hi.Copy !req
80. Couldn't help noticing you
looking at the jazz records.Copy !req
81. If you like those,
you might be interested in these.Copy !req
82. It's just something I've
knocked up myself - aCopy !req
83. pencil case with a
picture of a jazz musician,Copy !req
84. uniting the twin disciplines of jazz and
stationery management in a unique package.Copy !req
85. Um... I heard there
was a party here tonight.Copy !req
86. Howard doesn't want a party.Copy !req
87. He'd rather sit in a dark room with his
70-year-old jazz mate swapping handsCopy !req
88. - and listening to weather reports.
- That is a joke.Copy !req
89. - So there is a party here tonight?
- Oh, yes. A big party, yeah.Copy !req
90. Yeah, it's pretty much party central
round here. My parties are legendary.Copy !req
91. - Ha-ha!
- Shut your mouth.Copy !req
92. - Great. I love parties.
- I love parties, too.Copy !req
93. - Meeting people.
- I love it.Copy !req
94. - Dancing.
- Dancing and meeting people.Copy !req
95. That's what I'm about.
Maybe I'll see you there.Copy !req
96. - Maybe you will.
- Maybe I will.Copy !req
97. - Yeah, maybe.
- Maybe!Copy !req
98. - Will I? See you?
- Yeah.Copy !req
99. Great. Bye.Copy !req
100. - Unbelievable.
- Yep, still got the moves.Copy !req
101. I've been trying to get you to have a party
for ten years - nothing.Copy !req
102. One girl comes in, bats her lashes at you,
and you melt like warm Nutella.Copy !req
103. You're just angry cos she liked me and
not you. There's gonna be sparks tonight!Copy !req
104. The times are a-changing
for Howard TJ Moon.Copy !req
105. I've still got the magic. Pow!Copy !req
106. Hey! Thanks for doing that.Copy !req
107. So spread the word - Vince Noir's having
a party. Maybe knock up some flyers.Copy !req
108. I thought it was
Howard's birthday.Copy !req
109. Don't put him on the
flyers. No one'll come.Copy !req
110. - All right, gotcha.
- See you later.Copy !req
111. OK! The party's on, guys.
Better get inviting some people.Copy !req
112. Thought it was a
quiet night in with Lester.Copy !req
113. A quiet night in? Ha-ha!Copy !req
114. I think not, sir.
I'm Howard Moon, party animal.Copy !req
115. Bollo, get the big cauldron out of
the loft. I feel a punch coming onCopy !req
116. - it's gonna be a strong one.
- I've got a bad feeling about this.Copy !req
117. Yeah, OK, Naboo. I'll tell 'em.Copy !req
118. - The party's on.
- Yes!Copy !req
119. Result!Copy !req
120. - Oh, dammit!
- What's wrong with you?Copy !req
121. I foolishly agreed to accompany my wife
on an extreme-sports calendar shoot.Copy !req
122. - Oh, you mug!
- You plum duf!Copy !req
123. I have ordered not one, not two,
but three crates of poppers.Copy !req
124. - We're havin' it large!
- All right, don't rub it in.Copy !req
125. - And it's Bank Holiday Monday.
- Recovery Monday.Copy !req
126. That's right, easing out the comedownCopy !req
127. while you're out there watching your wife
parading about in a jumpsuit.Copy !req
128. Hello! Idiot!Copy !req
129. - And where's Mrs Harrison?
- Staying with her sister in Bournemouth.Copy !req
130. I am greenlit the whole way.Copy !req
131. I just have to find a
quiet spot, tell her I'mCopy !req
132. going to bed at half
nine, and carte blanche.Copy !req
133. Whoo!Copy !req
134. You are so under the
thumb, it's frightening.Copy !req
135. At least I've got a thumb.Copy !req
136. Why don't you just tell this woman
you can't make it this weekendCopy !req
137. because you're rolling with the boys?Copy !req
138. If I do that, Saboo,
she will pummel me into the dirt.Copy !req
139. - Give her the back of your tentacle.
- She's a powerful woman.Copy !req
140. Come on!Copy !req
141. Sometimes I wonder
if I made the right decisionCopy !req
142. marrying an extreme-sports calendar model.Copy !req
143. OK, what I've gone for is an olive-green
roll neck and quite a heavy-gauge corduroy.Copy !req
144. Now, hear me out. This is a bit crazy,Copy !req
145. but what if I went for a finer-gauge
corduroy... up against a mufin?Copy !req
146. - Yeah, that is a tricky one.
- Yep.Copy !req
147. - Have you got any other clothes?
- No.Copy !req
148. Right. What is going on down there?Copy !req
149. - What? Too much?
- It's not the 18th century.Copy !req
150. - Are you an explorer?
- I go my own way, sir.Copy !req
151. Hello? Come up.Copy !req
152. - Who the hell's that?
- The first guests.Copy !req
153. - It's 5:45.
- Lester Corncrake came straight from work.Copy !req
154. Hey-hey-hey!Copy !req
155. Ciao! Pow! Skiddy-biddy-bow!Copy !req
156. - How are you, Lester?
- I bought you a present.Copy !req
157. - Yeah! Ooh, look at this.
- Yeah.Copy !req
158. - Thank you. What is it?
- It's a man corset.Copy !req
159. Helps keep your bangers in check.Copy !req
160. Heh! Men of our advanced age and sexual
decline need all the help we can get.Copy !req
161. Thanks a lot. But we're not actually
the same age, are we?Copy !req
162. Oh, you crack me up!Copy !req
163. - OK. Ready to bust some moves?
- Does a chicken have lips?Copy !req
164. - I've got a Chick Corea album to show you.
- I used to vomit on Chick Corea for money.Copy !req
165. Oh, my Lord!
Did you see the Bebop Brothers?Copy !req
166. - I know. It's embarrassing.
- What was that about?Copy !req
167. You gonna invite some decent people
to absorb them?Copy !req
168. Don't worry, I've invited half the
female population of Camden. It'll be cool.Copy !req
169. - Better get on with this, then.
- Catch you later. I gotta get ready.Copy !req
170. This is your basic cauldron.
If you haven't got one, don't worry.Copy !req
171. Pop down to a Woolworths
to grab yourself a metal compost bin.Copy !req
172. They're not expensive
and work just as well.Copy !req
173. Now, let's talk about hash cakes.
A little tip about hash cakes:Copy !req
174. Just start of with one first,
wait about an hour, see how you feel.Copy !req
175. Don't eat 15 in one go
cos you will see the devil,Copy !req
176. and he'll try and rip your heart out
through your kneecaps.Copy !req
177. Pop 'em in the oven -
about 20 minutes, gas mark 4.Copy !req
178. Here's some I made earlier.Copy !req
179. Bollo, where are they?Copy !req
180. When you are the moon, you pretty
much split people down the middle.Copy !req
181. Some people go, "Ah, look at the moon."Copy !req
182. "He's all gentle, he has a nice white face,
hanging in the sky. He's nice."Copy !req
183. And the other half go, "Ugh, he's a
vanilla rapist! Get him away from my kids!"Copy !req
184. Hey, guys. Good to see you.Copy !req
185. Hey. Nice shoes. Straight upstairs.Copy !req
186. - Hey, Chris de Burgh!
- Hey, Bollo!Copy !req
187. High five. Heh-heh-heh!Copy !req
188. Chrissy, up you go. Love your work!Copy !req
189. If it was all on fire in a bin. Hmph!Copy !req
190. - Ooh! Freestyle!
- These corsets are really working, Lester.Copy !req
191. What did I tell you, Howard?
Women love men with knockers.Copy !req
192. Oh, yeah! Don't look
now, but I think we'reCopy !req
193. getting a little bit of
attention from the ladies.Copy !req
194. Oi, sweetheartCopy !req
195. wrap this shit up -
you're having a nightmare.Copy !req
196. I've been booked to play here.Copy !req
197. No one's feeling it.
You're not in your bedroom now.Copy !req
198. - This is some ugly shit.
- Step aside, Pink Hair.Copy !req
199. Let the H-Man take control.Copy !req
200. - Hey.
- Coming out? It's heaving.Copy !req
201. - I'm waiting for the right time to emerge.
- What are you, a pupa?Copy !req
202. It's important to arrive late,
even at your own party.Copy !req
203. - It's my party.
- Oh, yeah, these people are here for you.Copy !req
204. I'm letting you bask
in the glory on your own.Copy !req
205. Hurry up, OK? Or
you'll miss my speech.Copy !req
206. - What?
- I'm doing a small speech,Copy !req
207. about safety precautions
and fire exits and stuf.Copy !req
208. - Might even pop a couple of jokes in.
- Please don't.Copy !req
209. We all like having fun, but it's even
more fun when we can have safe fun.Copy !req
210. I've got it, Saboo!
A concept is formulating.Copy !req
211. Fleetwood Mac's Tusk in its entirety.Copy !req
212. Oh!Copy !req
213. Watch the room crumble
at the awe of the H-Man.Copy !req
214. Are you insane? There's at most one track
I could get away with, of maybe Rumours.Copy !req
215. Oh, come of it! Tusk, in its entiretyCopy !req
216. with the pauses, as Lindsey Buckingham
intended it to be heard.Copy !req
217. Why don't you just give me a.44?
I can spray my brains on the decks.Copy !req
218. Oh, what is your
beef with the Mac?Copy !req
219. The same beef every
right-thinking man has.Copy !req
220. They are bullshit munchers!Copy !req
221. - Start thinking outside the box.
- The box is there for a reason.Copy !req
222. To keep bald men like you inside it.Copy !req
223. You are so square!
What do you want to lay down?Copy !req
224. I would like to play "Would I Lie To You?"
By Charles and Eddie.Copy !req
225. Aaaargh...Copy !req
226. - All right, fair enough. Good choice.
- Thank you.Copy !req
227. - Slam it down.
- Can we have the music of for a minute?Copy !req
228. Who's this joker?Copy !req
229. Howard Moon. It's my
party. It's my birthday.Copy !req
230. Oh, happy birthday, son.
How old are you?Copy !req
231. - 32.
- Oh! You're older than me.Copy !req
232. Hi. Hello. I just want to say thanks
for coming... to my birthday.Copy !req
233. Thank you very much.
Didn't know I had so many friends.Copy !req
234. - Who are you?
- Ha-ha! Who am I?Copy !req
235. Who are you? Right back at you.Copy !req
236. Oh, a little announcement to the owner
of a blue Mazda which is parked outside:Copy !req
237. Get another car.Copy !req
238. - Hello?
- My God, look at his breasts!Copy !req
239. Yep. Um, so... it's my birthday.Copy !req
240. The big 3-2. Time flies, eh?Copy !req
241. Especially when you're having fun.
A few ground rules:Copy !req
242. Don't go into the shop - there are objects
that could get broken and are valuable,Copy !req
243. and my room's out of bounds.Copy !req
244. Unless you're a young attractive girl
who likes jazz,Copy !req
245. and then it's just down there,
on the right. Ha-ha!Copy !req
246. Lester Corncrake there,
good friend of mine. Whoo!Copy !req
247. Uh, I don't really know him that well.
I just met him on the bus.Copy !req
248. Ha-ha! Ow!Copy !req
249. Yeah, so... Well, it's been a
crazy old road, I tell you that.Copy !req
250. Phew! Seems like only yesterday
I was a young guy in LeedsCopy !req
251. with a head full of dreams
and a passion for jazz-rock fusion.Copy !req
252. But I followed those dreams and that
passion, and they took me to Doncaster...Copy !req
253. Friends. People of Camden.
You are the chosen ones.Copy !req
254. - He's amazing, Who is he?
- Is he Christ?Copy !req
255. You have been brought here for one purpose,
and one purpose alone:Copy !req
256. To bask in the glory of my outfit
and party like you've never partied before!Copy !req
257. Oh, yeah, and it's
Howard's birthday as well.Copy !req
258. Music.Copy !req
259. I know it's the
extreme-sports calendarCopy !req
260. shoot this weekend,
but I just can't make it.Copy !req
261. No, I'm not going
to Naboo's party. I'veCopy !req
262. got a headache. It's
practically a migraine.Copy !req
263. Oi, you, bighead! Come over here.Copy !req
264. - I've got to go now. Bye.
- Lend me a pound. I know your sister.Copy !req
265. Yes. I do not have a sister.Copy !req
266. Don't backchat me,
bighead. I'll bust you up.Copy !req
267. This bighead business...
I actually have aCopy !req
268. relatively small head
for a man of my stature.Copy !req
269. I like your hat, man. Can my mate Ricky
borrow it? Cos he likes it.Copy !req
270. This would not suit Ricky.Copy !req
271. The thing about Ricky
is, hats do suit him.Copy !req
272. - He's got one of those faces.
- That may be so,Copy !req
273. but it's forbidden for a peasant
to touch a shaman's garments.Copy !req
274. Wicksy, bust out the knife.
Jab up this joker!Copy !req
275. Ah, swordplay!Copy !req
276. Easy!
I've gotta go to Costcutter for my mum.Copy !req
277. - Argh!
- Urgh!Copy !req
278. OK... to Oddbins.Copy !req
279. - Hey!
- Thanks for upstaging me, Vince.Copy !req
280. Sorry. I have to make
a big entrance like thatCopy !req
281. so everyone feels they've
had contact with me.Copy !req
282. - Are the Queen Mum? Where's my present?
- It's coming. I've ordered it.Copy !req
283. Sure it is. It's my birthday, remember?Copy !req
284. - You're not having a good time?
- You're picking up on that?Copy !req
285. - You're tense.
- I am. Where's that girl?Copy !req
286. What girl?Copy !req
287. Pencil-case girl. The
one I had magic with.Copy !req
288. Why do you always fixate on one girl?
You gotta play the field more.Copy !req
289. If I don't get some action
soon, I'm going gay.Copy !req
290. - What, you?
- What's so funny?Copy !req
291. - You're the least gay person ever.
- You've got me all wrong.Copy !req
292. - I could go gay like that, sir.
- It's not like buying a ladder.Copy !req
293. I've seen men checking me out.Copy !req
294. - Have you? You're ridiculous.
- Checking out my hot pumpkin ass.Copy !req
295. Anyway, that is so out of the blue,
you've creeped me out.Copy !req
296. - Don't worry, I don't fancy you.
- All men do - I'm the Confuser.Copy !req
297. "Is it a man? Is it a woman?
Not sure if I mind."Copy !req
298. - Can you sort me out with someone?
- Let's play some party games.Copy !req
299. Sounds good.Copy !req
300. Get you into the
spirit. It's your birthday.Copy !req
301. I'll grab some girls, yeah?
You go down to Naboo's shop.Copy !req
302. - All right. Hang on, that's out of bounds.
- Rules are meant for breaking.Copy !req
303. Sometimes rules are best bent,
just to breaking point...Copy !req
304. Can you just get downstairs, please?Copy !req
305. In you go. Hey, Brad Pierce.
Shaun Richards. Easy tonight.Copy !req
306. Hey, where do you think you're going?
Who are you?Copy !req
307. - I am a parka person.
- Bob Fossil. No way!Copy !req
308. Come on, Bollo, let me in.
For old times' sake. Please?Copy !req
309. Bollo under strict instructions -
no Bob Fossil.Copy !req
310. Listen, do you take bribes?
How about this?Copy !req
311. - It's a key to a bike I had in the '70s.
- No.Copy !req
312. Um... a song?Copy !req
313. ♪ I am singingCopy !req
314. - No.
- How about I talk to you like a baby?Copy !req
315. - Hi, Bollo.
- No.Copy !req
316. Come on, Bollo. Remember Paris?Copy !req
317. Listen, Fossil, I'll give you five seconds.Copy !req
318. If you're still here,
I'll pull your head of.Copy !req
319. Keep your hair in check, carpet man!
I got plenty of other parties to go to.Copy !req
320. Note to self:
I got no other parties to go to.Copy !req
321. Yes, and the clever part is,
I didn't even have a Micra!Copy !req
322. - Yeah, that's a dynamite story.
- Yep.Copy !req
323. Oh, wow! They're really coming
out of the walls, aren't they, Naboo?Copy !req
324. - Who?
- The ladies.Copy !req
325. - Yeah. How is your wife?
- Well, she's good.Copy !req
326. As long as she doesn't find out
what goes on here.Copy !req
327. - You want me to cover for you again?
- I love my wife,Copy !req
328. but when I see these chiquitas...
drives me insane.Copy !req
329. - What do you do?
- I don't do anything.Copy !req
330. - What's your secret?
- This is my secret.Copy !req
331. My God!Copy !req
332. Smooth as the bonnet of a Porsche.Copy !req
333. When you are the moon,
when you look at Earth - the EarthCopy !req
334. the only thing you can see
is the Great Wall of China.Copy !req
335. So when I went for
an eye test the opticianCopy !req
336. said, "Can you see the
Great Wall of China?"Copy !req
337. I said, "Yeah, but it's a bit blurry."Copy !req
338. He said, "Is it better now?"Copy !req
339. "What about now?"Copy !req
340. "Can you see it now?"Copy !req
341. "And if I do this?"Copy !req
342. "And what about now?"Copy !req
343. "And what about... Better or worse?"Copy !req
344. "Is it more fuzzy?"Copy !req
345. "Has it come into focus?"Copy !req
346. "And now?"Copy !req
347. By this time,
his face was really close to mineCopy !req
348. it was frightening in the dark!Copy !req
349. We're gonna play a little game now,
a little game called spin the bottle.Copy !req
350. - My kind of game.
- Carla, grab us that bottle from the side.Copy !req
351. Yeah, sure.Copy !req
352. Cheers.
Howard, do you want to do the honours?Copy !req
353. Don't mind if I do, sunshine.Copy !req
354. - Have you ever done this before?
- Course.Copy !req
355. The call me the Spindoctor. Ha-ha.Copy !req
356. Chicka chick a!Copy !req
357. I can make this bottle
land wherever I wish.Copy !req
358. Best out of three?Copy !req
359. Best of five?Copy !req
360. - What the hell's going on here?
- Cool your boots. It's spin the bottle.Copy !req
361. Yeah, with my bottles.
This is valuable, ancient stuf.Copy !req
362. - Oh, my God. Nobody move.
- What?Copy !req
363. This is bad. Bad juju.
This is no ordinary bottle you smashed.Copy !req
364. - What do you mean?
- This had a demon inside.Copy !req
365. - What?!
- You've released it.Copy !req
366. - Where is it?
- It's hiding.Copy !req
367. - Where?
- Inside one of you lot.Copy !req
368. Actually, it's gonna be all right.Copy !req
369. This demon only possesses
the body of a virgin.Copy !req
370. Aaaaargh!Copy !req
371. Get it out! I can feel it inside me!Copy !req
372. Only joking.Copy !req
373. It's just an ordinary bottle.Copy !req
374. Now everyone get out.Copy !req
375. - Where do you think you're going?
- Um... with you?Copy !req
376. Wow! I love your outfit, it's amazing.
You look like an Eastern princess.Copy !req
377. - Who are you?
- An extreme-sports calendar model.Copy !req
378. - Cool.
- Now come here.Copy !req
379. - Sorry, what did you say?
- An extreme-sports calendar model.Copy !req
380. - Wait. You're not the head shaman's wife?
- Yes. He's upstairs.Copy !req
381. What are you doing, then?Copy !req
382. What he's been doing
to me for six months.Copy !req
383. Yeah, not with me, you're not.
He's got a sword.Copy !req
384. I gotta get out of here.Copy !req
385. - Nice little place you've got here.
- Oh, shit! Shh.Copy !req
386. - How's it going?
- Vince is great, but Howard's a jerk-of.Copy !req
387. What?Copy !req
388. - Who goes there?
- There's someone in my stockroom!Copy !req
389. Show yourself.Copy !req
390. - Hello, Dennis.
- Methuselah! What are you doing here?Copy !req
391. Never mind about that, What are you
doing here? Where's your "migraine"?Copy !req
392. Um... it-it cleared up.Copy !req
393. - Who was in there with you?
- A young and handsome man.Copy !req
394. - I'm going to slice him in two!
- Oh, Dennis!Copy !req
395. - Who is he?
- I will never tell you.Copy !req
396. - Perhaps you don't need to tell me.
- Dennis...Copy !req
397. Out of my way! I'll deal with you later.Copy !req
398. Ugh!Copy !req
399. - These alcopops taste kinda funny.
- It's a glow stick, you berk!Copy !req
400. Do us a favour. Hide this cape, will you?Copy !req
401. Don't mind if I do, Vince. I've always
appreciated your style and everything.Copy !req
402. Ah! There you are!Copy !req
403. Prepare to die, you prancing tit!Copy !req
404. Whoo-whee!Copy !req
405. Skiddy-de-bip-bip-bop! She-bop!Copy !req
406. Ow! Ooh! My head!Copy !req
407. Let that be a lesson to you all!Copy !req
408. Dennis, you dimlo! What the fuck are you
doing? That's the wrong geezer.Copy !req
409. - You flipping truncheon!
- Oh!Copy !req
410. Oh. Right.Copy !req
411. Yep, sorry about that. As you were.Copy !req
412. - Hi.
- Hi. What are you doing here?Copy !req
413. Head shaman's gone mental - thinks I got of
with his wife. He's gonna chop my head of.Copy !req
414. - What are you doing here?
- I'm in hiding.Copy !req
415. - What?
- Hiding from the shame and embarrassmentCopy !req
416. that is my birthday party.Copy !req
417. It doesn't matter that
you're a virgin. It's fine.Copy !req
418. Women respect that. They don't mind
that you've not gone beyond a kiss.Copy !req
419. - You've never kissed anyone, have you?
- So?Copy !req
420. - Ever held anyone's hand?
- I don't like people touching me.Copy !req
421. Anyway, I've had deeper relationships in my
mind, at a distance, than you'll ever have.Copy !req
422. - The incident with the binoculars?
- That was never proved, OK?Copy !req
423. It was in the Guardian!Copy !req
424. Look, I don't flit about.
I don't play the field.Copy !req
425. When I make that leap across the
physical boundary, it'll be forever, sir.Copy !req
426. Ah, there you are, you prancing kingfisher.
Prepare to die!Copy !req
427. I'm not interested in your wife.
We were just in a cupboard together.Copy !req
428. Just in a cupboard with
an extreme-sports model? I don't think so!Copy !req
429. I'm not interested in your wife.
I'm in love.Copy !req
430. - The lies of a backtracking worm!
- I'm in love with Howard.Copy !req
431. - Oh, yeah, we're in love.
- Prove it.Copy !req
432. Ugh!Copy !req
433. Ugh...Copy !req
434. Huh?Copy !req
435. I'll go and rethink a
few basic principles. Bye.Copy !req
436. Bye.Copy !req
437. - Thanks, Howard.
- Thank you.Copy !req
438. - What?
- Thank you for the gift of love.Copy !req
439. It was just a kiss!Copy !req
440. A light went on. You
flicked my switch, baby.Copy !req
441. You've got to stop falling for people
who give you a bit of afection.Copy !req
442. - Don't pretend you don't love me.
- Love?! Howard, you've gone mad.Copy !req
443. That's what this is
all about - me and you.Copy !req
444. What do you mean?Copy !req
445. The arguing, the bickering,
it's because of sexual tensionCopy !req
446. the deep, powerful, molten sexual tension
that's been brewing up between us.Copy !req
447. - I don't think it was.
- You've shown me the way...Copy !req
448. You're gonna fall... Given me the keys.Copy !req
449. - The keys to what?
- The keys to a whole new kingdom.Copy !req
450. A whole new kingdom of gaydom!Copy !req
451. I'm a gay! I'm a massive gayist!Copy !req
452. Whoo! Pucker up.Copy !req
453. Argh! Whoo!Copy !req
454. Told you I'd got you a present.Copy !req
455. - You could have wrapped it.
- How cool is this?Copy !req
456. - Howard, hi.
- Hi!Copy !req
457. - Happy birthday.
- Thank you. You came back!Copy !req
458. - Yeah.
- Sorry, what's going on here?Copy !req
459. - She came back.
- Did she? Great.Copy !req
460. - I thought you loved me.
- That was a momentary lapse.Copy !req
461. Listen, Fiddler on the Roof,
we kissed up there.Copy !req
462. What goes on on the roof stays on the roof.Copy !req
463. - Maybe I should leave you two alone.
- Yeah.Copy !req
464. We're having relationship problems.
Nick of and get some Twiglets.Copy !req
465. Don't go anywhere.
Wait there. Vince, you'reCopy !req
466. a great guy, but...
the timing was of.Copy !req
467. Unbelievable! I've never been chucked in my
entire life, now I'm being chucked by you!Copy !req
468. - You'll meet someone else.
- I'll never love again.Copy !req
469. - Hi.
- Hey!Copy !req
470. - Forget it. I'm over you.
- Care to bounce?Copy !req
471. ♪ Bouncy, bouncy Ooh, such a good timeCopy !req
472. ♪ Bouncy, bouncy Shoes all in a lineCopy !req
473. ♪ Bouncy, bouncy Everybody somersaultCopy !req
474. ♪ Somersault, summertime
Everybody sing alongCopy !req
475. ♪ Bouncy, bouncy Ooh, such a good timeCopy !req
476. ♪ Bouncy, bouncy
White socks slipping downCopy !req
477. ♪ Bouncy, bouncy Stilettos are a no-noCopy !req
478. ♪ Bouncy, bouncy Ooh!Copy !req
479. ♪ Bouncy, bouncy Ooh!Copy !req
480. ♪ Every time I bounce
I feel I touch the sky!Copy !req
481. Well, looks like everything
turned out all right.Copy !req
482. It was one hell of a party!Copy !req
483. Oh, all right? Who are you?Copy !req
484. - Hey...
- You're one hot shape!Copy !req
485. - I'm an old blind man!
- Come here!Copy !req
486. - No! What are you doing?
- Give it to me!Copy !req
487. - Take it like a man!
- Skiddly-doo-no!Copy !req
488. - Argh!
- Yes, it's an outrage!Copy !req
489. - A little to the left!
- An outrage!Copy !req
490. - Oh, yeah! No! Argh!
- An outrage!Copy !req
491. Oh! Feel my multi-hexagonal
textured alien barbed penis...Copy !req
492. - Skiddly-doo-no-no! I don't like it!
- Deep inside you!Copy !req