1. Hi. Welcome to the show.
l'm Howard Moon and this is Vince Noir.Copy !req
2. Hello.Copy !req
3. Sorry.Copy !req
4. This week we're gonna be
tackling the subject of fame.Copy !req
5. When Lady Fame comes a-knocking
on your doorCopy !req
6. you gotta be quick to open that door
because if you don't, she's away.Copy !req
7. - As if.
- She only knocks once.Copy !req
8. She does not.
She knocks at my house all the time.Copy !req
9. She's on the doorstep. l go to Tesco's,
she's hanging onto my cords.Copy !req
10. That's not Lady Fame, is it?Copy !req
11. That's Mrs Pelham.
She talks to mushrooms.Copy !req
12. - lt's not, it's Lady Fame.
- Lady Fame wouldn't shop at Tesco's.Copy !req
13. - She'd shop at Marks if anything.
- She goes to Marks for her bits.Copy !req
14. She doesn't do her main shop there.
No one does.Copy !req
15. - We should talk about this another time.
- OK. See you later, Colonel Eagle.Copy !req
16. See you later, chewy teeth.Copy !req
17. Enjoy the show.Copy !req
18. ..to the world of The Mighty Boosh.Copy !req
19. # Come with us to The Mighty Boosh
# The Mighty BooshCopy !req
20. # Come with us to The Mighty Boosh #Copy !req
21. (# Jazz trumpet)Copy !req
22. Hey, Howard. Howard.Copy !req
23. Oi, small eyes.Copy !req
24. He's in a trance, a jazz trance.
Every day he does this.Copy !req
25. lt's a pretty delicate procedure
getting him out.Copy !req
26. Ah! Oh.Copy !req
27. - Don't do that. Ever.
- Why?Copy !req
28. - Never do that to a man in a jazz trance.
- Why?Copy !req
29. l could have a heart attack. lt's like
sleepwalking. l was deep in the juju.Copy !req
30. Why don't you try doing some work?Copy !req
31. l'm going to get round to my work.
This is my early morning procedure.Copy !req
32. Listen to my jazz, get juiced up,
go about my business.Copy !req
33. No, you put your jazz on,
go into a trance,Copy !req
34. ten past six, come out of the trance,
go to the pub.Copy !req
35. Have you got anything
you could be doing? Distributing seeds?Copy !req
36. l'm onto it because l started my day
with this. Check this out.Copy !req
37. (# Human League: Don't You Want Me)Copy !req
38. That is just making me
feel physically sick.Copy !req
39. What is that gloomy racket?Copy !req
40. - The Human League.
- That is electro nonsense.Copy !req
41. They're pioneers, they invented music.Copy !req
42. - What happened before them?
- lt was just tuning up before then.Copy !req
43. Are you aware of the music
known as jazz?Copy !req
44. - Aware of jazz, the movement of jazz?
- Why do you keep going on about jazz?Copy !req
45. lt's the most important modern art form.Copy !req
46. Science teachers and the mentally ill,
that's all jazz is for.Copy !req
47. You better take that back,
you electro ponce.Copy !req
48. - Or what?
- Just take it back, that's all.Copy !req
49. l won't. l'll be leaving it out there
for all to see.Copy !req
50. - Drink it back up.
- No. l hate jazz.Copy !req
51. You hate jazz? You fear jazz. Huh?Copy !req
52. - Shut your mouth.
- You fear jazz, you fear the lack of rules.Copy !req
53. - No.
- The lack of boundaries. Oooh.Copy !req
54. lt's a fence, no, it's soft. What's
happening? The shapes, the chaos.Copy !req
55. - lt has to be simple for you, doesn't it?
- Stop it.Copy !req
56. - # Dee dee dee dee-dee #
- Shut your mouth.Copy !req
57. The melody gets abstract,
you mess your trousers.Copy !req
58. - Shut your mouth.
- # Dee-bop, shweebop #Copy !req
59. Don't start scatting.
We don't need scat at this point.Copy !req
60. - (# Scats)
- Stop scatting.Copy !req
61. # Scu-da-do-bop-a-dee-dah! #Copy !req
62. - Final warning.
- # Skwidlly-bee-bee... #Copy !req
63. The thing about scat singing
is it's an ancient art,Copy !req
64. goes back as far as the Chinese dynasty.Copy !req
65. Hey, Howard. There's some girls.Copy !req
66. - Yes. Right.
- l'll deal with this.Copy !req
67. l'll deal with it. Step back
and watch the master weave his magic.Copy !req
68. Ladies. Hi. Welcome to the zoo.Copy !req
69. l'm Howard Moon, the zoo keeper.Copy !req
70. l hope you're enjoying your visit
and enjoying the animals on display.Copy !req
71. There's many to feast your eyes on.Copy !req
72. There's the goats who are on heat
at the moment.Copy !req
73. Um... And there's others, too.Copy !req
74. Later on there will be an aquatic display
at 3:30 and 5:30.Copy !req
75. l'll be, myself, participating in that as
a porpoise jockey in the porpoise derby.Copy !req
76. Don't know if you've ever seen a man
ride a porpoise, but it can be thrilling.Copy !req
77. Quite a thrilling sight
for a young lady to see.Copy !req
78. Hi. Nice hair.Copy !req
79. Cheers. Are you in a band?Copy !req
80. Yeah. Kraftwerk Orange.Copy !req
81. l'm a musician, too. l play a lot of music,
jazz musician mainly.Copy !req
82. l'm a fully qualified scat singer.Copy !req
83. We don't do jazz. We do electro.Copy !req
84. Electro's good. l enjoy the music
of the Human League.Copy !req
85. Very much like them. Big-time fan.Copy !req
86. l can play any instrument at all.
You name it, l'm a multi-instrumentalist.Copy !req
87. lf we need a bassoon player,
we'll let you know.Copy !req
88. (Laughing)Copy !req
89. Huh?Copy !req
90. l can play bassoon,
that's the irony of that.Copy !req
91. Howard Moon,
get your ass to the jackal hut.Copy !req
92. - Do that for me.
- Why?Copy !req
93. - Because l'm getting on well.
- Getting on well?Copy !req
94. And don't get Vince to go instead of you.Copy !req
95. Well, l gotta scoot, so...Copy !req
96. don't forget to check out those aquatic
displays at 3:30 and again at 5:30.Copy !req
97. Who's that jazz creep?Copy !req
98. He's just the local simpleton.
You know, l know his mum.Copy !req
99. He comes around, does odd jobs.
We give him a uniform, he's happy.Copy !req
100. Are you in a band?Copy !req
101. Yeah, l'm in a couple of bands.Copy !req
102. - That's a shame.
- What?Copy !req
103. We want someone to join our band.Copy !req
104. l mean, the bands l'm in,
l've sort of left them recently.Copy !req
105. Today, earlier on.Copy !req
106. - Can you sing?
- l'm one of the great front men.Copy !req
107. - l can pull shapes.
- Why do you work in a zoo, then?Copy !req
108. All the great front men work with
animals. Jagger worked in a pet shop.Copy !req
109. Rod Stewart worked
in a tortoise sanctuary.Copy !req
110. Billy Ocean worked in an aquarium.
That's how he got his name.Copy !req
111. (Laughs) That was a joke.Copy !req
112. So what do you reckon, then?Copy !req
113. - Am l in?
- Yeah. OK.Copy !req
114. - We'll give you a shot.
- Cool. l'm Vince by the way.Copy !req
115. - l'm Neon.
- Ultra. Laters.Copy !req
116. Laters. On.Copy !req
117. - Where are those girls?
- They've gone.Copy !req
118. - Gone?
- You just missed them.Copy !req
119. l was getting a definite vibe
off those girls.Copy !req
120. lt wasn't you they were interested in.Copy !req
121. l think it was. l was getting
some of the magic off them.Copy !req
122. lt wasn't you they were interested in.Copy !req
123. They've asked me to be in their band.Copy !req
124. l can't believe it.Copy !req
125. - You?
- Yeah.Copy !req
126. You're the least musical person l know.Copy !req
127. lt's not about music,
it's about what you look like.Copy !req
128. - You should be careful.
- Why?Copy !req
129. You know what happened last time. You
got excited about that band with Leroy.Copy !req
130. - Yeah.
- Yeah. That glam folk band.Copy !req
131. People weren't readyCopy !req
132. - for a mixture of glam rock and folk.
- Nobody's ready for that.Copy !req
133. Are you going to Scarborough Fair?Copy !req
134. Parsley, sage, rosemary and thymeCopy !req
135. Remember me to the one
who lives thereCopy !req
136. She once was a true love of mineCopy !req
137. People! Gonna have ourselves a hot dog!Copy !req
138. Come on!Copy !req
139. lt's going to be different this time,
l can feel it.Copy !req
140. You should be more loyal to the zoo,Copy !req
141. - that's what l'm saying.
- Why?Copy !req
142. Don't go running off at the drop of a hat.Copy !req
143. - Like little Fickle Bobby.
- Fickle Bobby?Copy !req
144. Ran off into the sunset.Copy !req
145. - l don't do that.
- Yeah, you do.Copy !req
146. Running away when you see a shiny
object. Be loyal to the zoo, like me.Copy !req
147. When l get an offer,
l turn it down flat, l reject it out of hand.Copy !req
148. - Really? As if you get any offers.
- l get offers.Copy !req
149. - Who from?
- l get plenty offers.Copy !req
150. - Who from? Walt Disney?
- Walt offers me stuff.Copy !req
151. Many times Walt's said,
''Will you help me out?''Copy !req
152. - He came round last week.
- Did he?Copy !req
153. - Strange that he should choose you.
- Not strange.Copy !req
154. - He knows l've an eye for detail.
- What does he want you to do?Copy !req
155. Sort out his pot pens.
Put them in a workable orderCopy !req
156. from hot reds down through the lilacs,Copy !req
157. - then beyond to the ultramarine.
- Really?Copy !req
158. - l bet that took ages. Walt's got millions.
- lt didn't take long because l didn't do it.Copy !req
159. - Why not?
- l turned it down.Copy !req
160. - You idiot.
- Out of a sense of duty.Copy !req
161. - You don't want to anger Walt.
- Why?Copy !req
162. - He's offering you stuff.
- l can turn down Walt.Copy !req
163. l don't have a problem with that,
you know. Because l'm loyal.Copy !req
164. l understand what you're saying,
but l feel torn.Copy !req
165. On the one hand l've got the zoo,
l love the zoo.Copy !req
166. On the other hand l've got stardom
pulling me. l don't know what to do.Copy !req
167. l wish l was you, it must be easy for you.
You can't really do anything else.Copy !req
168. - How dare you?
- What?Copy !req
169. - l had a career in music beckoning me.
- Did you?Copy !req
170. - l could have been something.
- Really?Copy !req
171. - l turned it down.
- When was that? ln the '50s?Copy !req
172. How old do you think l am?Copy !req
173. Do you look at me and see
Gandalf the hoary, old wizard?Copy !req
174. - No.
- Yeah.Copy !req
175. l was a jazz musician, you know.Copy !req
176. And l could have been one of the greats,
but something happened.Copy !req
177. - What happened?
- Something you don't need to know.Copy !req
178. - Oh, right.
- Something that nobody needs to know.Copy !req
179. Look. So you blew your chance.
But that's not gonna happen to me.Copy !req
180. - Cos l'm going all the way.
- Are you?Copy !req
181. Yeah. So brace yourself.
Noir's going to the moon.Copy !req
182. Ah...the arrogance of youth.Copy !req
183. Hm? Go on, then. What you looking at?Copy !req
184. Hey, Howard. Check this out.Copy !req
185. (# Electro )Copy !req
186. What do you reckon?Copy !req
187. Awful.Copy !req
188. That's my new demo.
We're playing that tonight.Copy !req
189. - lt's good.
- You said it was awful.Copy !req
190. - Well, it's grown on me now.
- (Sighs)Copy !req
191. This is a big opportunity for me. l could
be out of here. American tour, the lot.Copy !req
192. - Just slow down, Vince.
- Why?Copy !req
193. - lt's going too fast.
- Rock and roll is fast.Copy !req
194. lf all goes to plan,
l could be in rehab next Thursday.Copy !req
195. Tuesday week, l'll be living on an island
with a small lndian boy.Copy !req
196. Whoa there, OK? Relax.
Take your foot off the pedal.Copy !req
197. - Why?
- Slow down.Copy !req
198. - You want fame, yeah? You want it bad.
- So what?Copy !req
199. lt's burning you up inside.
Like a fire. ln your throat.Copy !req
200. - So what?
- l used to have that fire.Copy !req
201. - Here we go.
- Burning away.Copy !req
202. Deep inside me. l wanted fame, Vince.Copy !req
203. l had it as well. l was a musical genius.Copy !req
204. You haven't picked up an instrument.
l've never seen you -Copy !req
205. There's a reason for that, OK?
lt's time for me to tell you the story.Copy !req
206. - (Sighs) ls this gonna take long?
- This story will chill you to the bone.Copy !req
207. lt's gonna turn your heart black with fear.Copy !req
208. lt all happened
what seems like a lifetime ago now.Copy !req
209. Flashback.Copy !req
210. (# Scats)Copy !req
211. (Squeaky voice) Git yourself outta here,
Howard. Don't you have a home?Copy !req
212. - This is a jazz club, yeah?
- Yeah.Copy !req
213. Yeah, well, wherever jazz is, l is.Copy !req
214. Bebop's my home.Copy !req
215. l thought you lived on
Northbrook Street, near Budgens.Copy !req
216. Yeah, it's a metaphor.Copy !req
217. You been here the past three nights.
What are you hangin' around here for?Copy !req
218. Something wrong with your voice?Copy !req
219. (Clears throat)Copy !req
220. (Squeaky voice)
What are you hangin' around here for?Copy !req
221. Gonna be a jazz musician.Copy !req
222. (Laughs)Copy !req
223. Something funny?Copy !req
224. Yeah. You know, there are
those who got it and those who ain't.Copy !req
225. l'm gonna get it, OK?Copy !req
226. No, you ain't.Copy !req
227. You know why? Because you ain't got
the spirit of jazz inside you.Copy !req
228. Well, l've got a dream inside of me.
How's that for you?Copy !req
229. Howard, there's a job opening here
as a barrel monkey with your name on it.Copy !req
230. l suggest you take it.Copy !req
231. A barrel monkey?Copy !req
232. l'm Howard Moon.Copy !req
233. - ls that a yes?
- lt's a thank you, no.Copy !req
234. Suit yourself.Copy !req
235. Here are the keys.Copy !req
236. Lock up when you're done.Copy !req
237. Good luck, fool.Copy !req
238. (Blows ineffectually)Copy !req
239. Well, well.Copy !req
240. What have we got here?Copy !req
241. Hey there, little fella. Mmm.Copy !req
242. Little piece of chicken.
What's happening, boy?Copy !req
243. - Who are you?
- l is the spirit of jazz.Copy !req
244. - What do you want?
- Oh, you in turmoil.Copy !req
245. What's wrong?
You tell Uncle Mario what's wrong.Copy !req
246. l want to be the greatest jazz player
in Yorkshire.Copy !req
247. Yorkshire. What is Yorkshire?Copy !req
248. Yorkshire is a place.Copy !req
249. Yorkshire is a state of mind.Copy !req
250. Yorkshire, New Orleans,
it's all the same to me, baby.Copy !req
251. Yeah. Baby, l'll make you famous.
You wanna be famous?Copy !req
252. - Yeah.
- Wanna be on the wall? Look at this guy.Copy !req
253. Blind Bonnie Shortbread. Huh?Copy !req
254. What a player.
l seen him play with my own eyes.Copy !req
255. The man was a genius.
What about this guy?Copy !req
256. Hot Wee Wee Jefferson. The Cystitis Kid.Copy !req
257. Man, when he was playing,
both pipes was on fire.Copy !req
258. l can make you like that. You wanna be
on the wall, Howard Moon?Copy !req
259. - How do you know my name?
- lt's on your trumpet case, asshole.Copy !req
260. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
261. So what do we do, then?Copy !req
262. Well, maybe l'll make you famous.
Maybe l'll do all l say.Copy !req
263. But maybe you gots to do something
for me.Copy !req
264. - l gots needs too, you know.
- What?Copy !req
265. Never mind the itty-bitty details,
just sign here, baby. Sign here.Copy !req
266. ln blood?Copy !req
267. Biro's fine.Copy !req
268. What's this stuff about
ownership of the soul?Copy !req
269. (Laughs)Copy !req
270. Yous is mine, boy.Copy !req
271. You signed right here.
You signed your soul away.Copy !req
272. Yeah, l own you, baby. Every time
you pick up an instrument, l'll be there,Copy !req
273. inside you, wearing you like a glove.Copy !req
274. Your sweet ass is mine.Copy !req
275. Check it, check it out. Ow!Copy !req
276. Ow!Copy !req
277. Man, my hat's on fire!Copy !req
278. What's wrong with you?
Are you blind? Why didn't you tell me?Copy !req
279. Sorry, l thought that was your look.Copy !req
280. No, it ain't my look.Copy !req
281. lt's a brand-new hat. Spoilt my exit now.Copy !req
282. Trying to do you a favour.Copy !req
283. That ain't no door back there.
lt's a toilet.Copy !req
284. And then that next evening,
you'll never believe what happened.Copy !req
285. When l lifted that trumpet to my mouth
and blew that first note,Copy !req
286. something incredible happened, Vince.
Something that...Copy !req
287. Oi!Copy !req
288. - Are you listening to me?
- No, l'm not.Copy !req
289. - l'm telling you a story.
- So what?Copy !req
290. - lnformation that might help you.
- Not interested.Copy !req
291. - Not interested?
- No, l'm a rock star now.Copy !req
292. Whoa, big man. Yeah?
Well, you've changed.Copy !req
293. - So what?
- You used to be a zoo keeper.Copy !req
294. - What about the zoo?
- (Bleep) the zoo.Copy !req
295. - What did you say?
- l said, ''(Bleep) the zoo.''Copy !req
296. l can't believe you're saying that.
What about the animals?Copy !req
297. (Bleep) the animals.
They're all a bunch of (Bleep).Copy !req
298. - You wanted to help the animals.
- l want to help them all to die.Copy !req
299. (# Electro pop)Copy !req
300. Wait a second.Copy !req
301. Are you going to be
wearing those hats tonight?Copy !req
302. - Yeah. Why?
- lt's just that l'm the front manCopy !req
303. and l'm trying to create some stuff
out here, pull some shapes,Copy !req
304. and they're creeping
into my line of vision, sort of bobbing in,Copy !req
305. so if you could just take them off.Copy !req
306. Do you know who l am? Where did you
get this chump from, huh?Copy !req
307. l'm Johnny Two Hats.
Why do you think they call me that?Copy !req
308. - ls it because you've got two hats on?
- Bingo.Copy !req
309. Hello. We've got a gig tonight,
remember?Copy !req
310. OK. One, two, three, four.Copy !req
311. Sorry. Um...Copy !req
312. What if someone starts
wearing three hats?Copy !req
313. - You've seen someone wearing three?
- No.Copy !req
314. Of course you haven't. You haven't
even seen anyone with two hats yet.Copy !req
315. Know why no one's ever worn two hats?Copy !req
316. - Why?
- Because it looks freakish.Copy !req
317. You look like an absolute idiot.Copy !req
318. Just stop dissing the hats.Copy !req
319. - You're making me cross, Vince.
- All right.Copy !req
320. Next time, girls, will you consult meCopy !req
321. before you employ some bozo
on front vox?Copy !req
322. - Sorry, Johnny.
- Johnny what?Copy !req
323. - Johnny Two Hats.
- Thank you.Copy !req
324. Two, three, four.Copy !req
325. So what are we gonna do
now Johnny's left?Copy !req
326. Well, who cares about Johnny? What
was he bringing to the band, anyway?Copy !req
327. - Other than the extra hat?
- He wrote all the music.Copy !req
328. - Played the synth bass.
- Programmed the drums.Copy !req
329. - Ran the website.
- He came up with this.Copy !req
330. Yeah, that is pretty good.
Look, l'll get someone else.Copy !req
331. Well, you've got three hours.Copy !req
332. All right, that's ages, it will be fine.
Cool your boots.Copy !req
333. There's some important people
coming tonight,Copy !req
334. the head of Pieface Records
is gonna be there.Copy !req
335. - l'll get someone.
- They've got to be cool.Copy !req
336. l only know cool people.Copy !req
337. Yeah, whatever. You've got three hours.Copy !req
338. lf you don't come up with someone,
we'll stab you up.Copy !req
339. You rock ponce!Copy !req
340. - Hi, ladies. Just ridden a porpoise.
- Yeah? Ring-a-ding-ding.Copy !req
341. Yeah. Maybe catch you later, yeah?Copy !req
342. All right, Howard?Copy !req
343. All right.Copy !req
344. Sorry about earlier. l behaved like a tit.Copy !req
345. l was having problems
coping with the stardom.Copy !req
346. You've only been in the band
since 10:30 this morning.Copy !req
347. - Yeah, but the lifestyle, the drugs.
- What drugs?Copy !req
348. Well, you know, the coffees.Copy !req
349. l've had three lattes and an Americano.
l'm blazing.Copy !req
350. How did it go with you
and the porpoise race?Copy !req
351. - Came last.
- What, again?Copy !req
352. - Who won?
- Tony.Copy !req
353. - What? Blind Tony?
- Yeah.Copy !req
354. He's using sonar or something.Copy !req
355. How's it going with you
and your pop band?Copy !req
356. All right. Having a bit of trouble with
the keyboard player, Johnny Two Hats.Copy !req
357. - What is it? Mood swings?
- He's left the band.Copy !req
358. That's a pretty big mood swing.
He swung right out of the band.Copy !req
359. You know what musicians are like,
pretty temperamental.Copy !req
360. - l do know. Oh, yeah.
- l heard you were pretty good.Copy !req
361. You heard right. l was one of the best.Copy !req
362. - l heard you could play any instrument.
- l was a multi-instrumentalist.Copy !req
363. Play anything. Trumpet, guitar,
kazoo, bassoon. You name it.Copy !req
364. - Keyboard.
- Yeah. Grade 1 7.Copy !req
365. - ls that good or bad?
- Let's say grade ten is a musical genius.Copy !req
366. Hmm. Seven off.
l could probably work with that.Copy !req
367. Hey, Howard.
Do you think you could do me a favour?Copy !req
368. l'm not doing it.Copy !req
369. Oh, come on. lt will be amazing.Copy !req
370. lt will be genius.
Me and you, fame, stardom.Copy !req
371. No, l can't. l just can't do it, Vince.Copy !req
372. - What about the girls? They're into you.
- Are they?Copy !req
373. - They say you're an eccentric character.
- Eccentric character.Copy !req
374. There's two of them, two of us. lt will be
like the indie ABBA. lt'll be perfect.Copy !req
375. l can't Vince, l just can't do it.Copy !req
376. Even if l could, l haven't got
the right look. My hair's not right.Copy !req
377. l've already thought about this.
Leave it to me.Copy !req
378. Check this out.Copy !req
379. l've never shown anyone this.Copy !req
380. lf you do this gig for me, l'll give you
unlimited access to these babies.Copy !req
381. ( # Heavenly choir)Copy !req
382. - What are those?
- They're my offcuts.Copy !req
383. My old hair. Huh?Copy !req
384. Glue them on. Redesign your hair.
Have fun with it.Copy !req
385. l appreciate the gesture, but no.Copy !req
386. - lt seems like a lot. lt's fine, honestly.
- No, it's not that. l can't do the gig.Copy !req
387. - You know why.
- Why not? Because of that stupid story?Copy !req
388. - Yeah.
- l don't believe you.Copy !req
389. Vince, when l play, bad things happen.Copy !req
390. Just forget it. l'll get someone else.Copy !req
391. - Vince, that's not it.
- Yeah, whatever. This is bullshit.Copy !req
392. Bollo, you've gotta help me.
l need a guitarist for tonight's gig.Copy !req
393. - Can you play guitar?
- Yes. l play just like Hendrix.Copy !req
394. Yes. Brilliant. Great. There you go.Copy !req
395. What are you doing? What was that?Copy !req
396. Woodstock '69.Copy !req
397. (# Accomplished jazz)Copy !req
398. Well, well, if it ain't the comeback kid.Copy !req
399. What are you doing here?Copy !req
400. (Sniffs) Mmm.
l think you've been playing again, boy.Copy !req
401. l'm not playing.Copy !req
402. Oh, yous is playing, boy. And now it's
time for me to get inside of you again.Copy !req
403. l don't want that.
Please, l can't have that.Copy !req
404. Oh, yeah, baby, l'm coming inside.Copy !req
405. Stop saying that. lt sounds weird.Copy !req
406. Weird? How so? We had an agreement.Copy !req
407. But l don't want anything
to do with that now.Copy !req
408. Come on, baby.
You wanna feel the warmth of meCopy !req
409. deep inside you, don't you?Copy !req
410. - l certainly do not.
- l've been inside all the greats.Copy !req
411. l've been inside Charlie Parker,
l've been inside Miles Davis,Copy !req
412. l even got inside Steve Davis.
Though that was an accident.Copy !req
413. But anyway, don't deny me my role,Copy !req
414. l'm going to creep inside you
like a warm kitten.Copy !req
415. - Just leave me alone.
- We made such sweet music together,Copy !req
416. Don't you remember those days?
We were jazz pioneers.Copy !req
417. Pioneers? What you made
me do was embarrassing.Copy !req
418. l don't want anything more
to do with you.Copy !req
419. l do not believe that boy's
giving me the credence l deserve.Copy !req
420. What are you looking at?Copy !req
421. l don't know. l mean, l...Copy !req
422. l want to help Vince, l really do,
l'm just, l can't...Copy !req
423. Can't or won't?Copy !req
424. Can't.Copy !req
425. - l thought you were a team.
- We were... We are a team.Copy !req
426. OK? lt's just that
when l play an instrument,Copy !req
427. the spirit of jazz gets inside me
and when that happens, it isn't pretty.Copy !req
428. lt makes me do stuff.Copy !req
429. - What, like shopping?
- Shopping?Copy !req
430. No. Things l'd rather not talk about,
Naboo.Copy !req
431. There may be a way. Play this.Copy !req
432. Play this? Are you high?Copy !req
433. Yeah.Copy !req
434. l explained to you,
when l play an instrument -Copy !req
435. Play.Copy !req
436. Just play it.Copy !req
437. (# Flurry of notes)Copy !req
438. l knew you couldn't resist me, boy.Copy !req
439. Time for me to get inside you again.Copy !req
440. - Oh, dear.
- l'm gonna wear you like a glove.Copy !req
441. - Who the hell is this asshole?
- l'm Naboo, that's who.Copy !req
442. Get in my Hoover bag, you boo.Copy !req
443. (Groans)Copy !req
444. - Now run like the wind.
- Thanks, Naboo.Copy !req
445. Sort your hair out, it's an '80s band.Copy !req
446. Listen, bitch, have you got anyone?Copy !req
447. - Um...
- You better have.Copy !req
448. Cos the head of Pieface Records
is here to see us.Copy !req
449. - Do we actually need anyone?
- What?Copy !req
450. Well, Johnny Twp Hats, what did he do?
Play keyboard. How hard can it be?Copy !req
451. l mean, it's just this, innit?Copy !req
452. Have you got anyone or not?Copy !req
453. Ladies.Copy !req
454. Howard.Copy !req
455. Hi.Copy !req
456. No way. Not that simpleton.Copy !req
457. - He's a musical genius.
- He better be.Copy !req
458. He looks like a paedophile.Copy !req
459. l'm so glad you could make it.Copy !req
460. Maybe after the gig we could have
a drink, have a chat about stuff.Copy !req
461. Yeah, sure. Yeah, why not?Copy !req
462. - Er... Who are you?
- l'm Vince. l'm in Kraftwerk Orange.Copy !req
463. - You are the head of Pieface Records?
- No.Copy !req
464. No, l'm Marcus Hoffman.Copy !req
465. l design speedboats.Copy !req
466. - Sorry l thought you were someone else.
- Listen.Copy !req
467. A few of us get together at weekends,
listen to reggae.Copy !req
468. Maybe you want to come
and hang out with us?Copy !req
469. Get lost, creepy crust.Copy !req
470. lf l can just turn this thing on.Copy !req
471. Yeah. Now l'm coming for you,
Howard Moon.Copy !req
472. Hoover or not, l'm a-coming for you.Copy !req
473. # Driving along on the plastic dreamCopy !req
474. # Heart beats fast like a tiny machineCopy !req
475. # l am electro boyCopy !req
476. # l am electro girlCopy !req
477. # Sailing along on a Perspex seaCopy !req
478. # Crystal moccasins, bionic cheeseCopy !req
479. # l am electro boyCopy !req
480. # l am electro girl... #Copy !req
481. Mmm, he's close, l can smell him.
l can smell the notes.Copy !req
482. # Riding along on a plastic dreamCopy !req
483. # Heart beats fast like a tiny machineCopy !req
484. # l am electro boyCopy !req
485. # l am electro girlCopy !req
486. # Sailing along on a Perspex seaCopy !req
487. # Crystal moccasins, bionic cheeseCopy !req
488. # l am electro boyCopy !req
489. # l am electro girl #Copy !req
490. - (Spirit) Get the hell out of my way, lady.
- Agh!Copy !req
491. We're gonna have ourselves
some hot jazz.Copy !req
492. (# Complex jazz improvisation)Copy !req
493. Oh, well, l'm sorry about last night.Copy !req
494. l got a bit carried away and the jazz
got in me and l had a jazz attack.Copy !req
495. The whole night was a shambles.Copy !req
496. l can't believe those electro girls,
they stabbed everyone up.Copy !req
497. Anyway, l've been thinking, l don't think
it's for me, the rock-and-roll lifestyle.Copy !req
498. - Don't worry, l'll make it up to you.
- Yeah?Copy !req
499. l've got something lined up for us.
Check this out.Copy !req
500. (# Heavenly choir)Copy !req
501. Wow.Copy !req
502. Let's sort these pens out for Uncle Walt.Copy !req
503. # Feels as though nobody caresCopy !req
504. # lf l lives or diesCopy !req
505. # So l might as well begin
to put some action in my lifeCopy !req
506. # Breaking the law, breaking the law #Copy !req