1. Go, you can do it! Come on!Copy !req
2. Clom, have you been smoking again?
Let's go! Go! Go!Copy !req
3. Come on, Ousley! You're at the front.
Go! Go!Copy !req
4. Rondo, what are you doing?Copy !req
5. It's the other direction!Copy !req
6. How many times do I have to tell you?Copy !req
7. Believe in yourself. Let's move!Copy !req
8. What are you doing? You're sitting there!Copy !req
9. - Hello.
- Clancy, it's Sarah.Copy !req
10. Welcome to the official voicemail
of Clancy Gilroy.Copy !req
11. - Unfortunately, I'm too busyCopy !req
12. working on my very successful,
very popular spacecast.Copy !req
13. But leave a message
and either me or my assistant, Charlotte,Copy !req
14. will get back to you.Copy !req
15. - Beep.Copy !req
16. The fake voicemail thing
doesn't work anymore.Copy !req
17. But that's okay. You don't have to answer.Copy !req
18. - I just want you to know I love you.Copy !req
19. And if this is about the money,
you don't need to pay me back.Copy !req
20. I know you moved to the Ribbon
to get a new start,Copy !req
21. but, Clancy, no matter where you go,Copy !req
22. things are always gonna be the same
if you don't change.Copy !req
23. To quote Mahatma Gandhi,Copy !req
24. there is a place in a man's heart,Copy !req
25. and wherever there's a rainbow,
you can be sure that God's footprints—Copy !req
26. Voicemail full. Message not received.Copy !req
27. - God.
Good morning, Clancy.Copy !req
28. Which universe will you choose today?Copy !req
29. Give me a planet. Pull up a planet.
I need to do an interview.Copy !req
30. - What about this one?Copy !req
31. Due to operator error,Copy !req
32. there are no longer
living things on this planet.Copy !req
33. What about this one? Or this one?Copy !req
34. Or this one? Or this one? Or this one?
What's going on?Copy !req
35. Master, when there is a big red X
on the planet,Copy !req
36. - it means that, due to operator error—
- Wait!Copy !req
37. - This planet doesn't have an X.Copy !req
38. Send me in here.Copy !req
39. You chose 2-Way Mirror Bubble Planet.Copy !req
40. Unfortunately, due to operator error,Copy !req
41. all sentient bubbles on this planet
have popped.Copy !req
42. From loneliness.Copy !req
43. Wait! There appears to be one left.Copy !req
44. Open view portal. Let's see who it is.Copy !req
45. - Opening view portal.
- Thanks.Copy !req
46. No, wait! Wait! Wait, wait!Copy !req
47. Send me in. I can cheer him up.
Target Bubble Man.Copy !req
48. No!Copy !req
49. What the fuck, Simulator?Copy !req
50. You need to fix your operator errors
so that I can do my—Copy !req
51. FAQ. Please read the FAQ.Copy !req
52. Just open any of the 40 messages
I've sent to you— you— you—Copy !req
53. Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine!Copy !req
54. - F-A...Copy !req
55. Fuck. Q.Copy !req
56. Ooh, that looks good.Copy !req
57. I was in a flooded basement
snorting cocaine with strangersCopy !req
58. when a neighbor brought us
that Pie Messiah.Copy !req
59. I ate one slice and it dawned on me
that the solution to my problemsCopy !req
60. was to bring a Pie Messiah
to my neighbors,Copy !req
61. see, and ever since then...Copy !req
62. - ... I've been freeCopy !req
63. of all my emotional pain.Copy !req
64. Yes!Copy !req
65. Ooh!Copy !req
66. The pie is ready, Master.Copy !req
67. More like "Pie Mess."Copy !req
68. Very funny, Master.Copy !req
69. Very funny.Copy !req
70. Isn't it odd
that you can never see your own eyes?Copy !req
71. Yep.Copy !req
72. Come on, Charlotte.
Let's meet the neighbors.Copy !req
73. Hmm.Copy !req
74. Artifact detected in Elyfim 4.Copy !req
75. Well, then, let's take what's ours
to glorify the Progenitor.Copy !req
76. - Sleeping...Copy !req
77. in the artifact cart again,
are we, maggot pig?Copy !req
78. No no, no, Father.Copy !req
79. I was simply meditating on your glories.Copy !req
80. Simpering lies of a coward maggot.Copy !req
81. Almost as bad as my krexing daughter.Copy !req
82. Sorry, Father.Copy !req
83. Oh, sorry to trouble you, my sweet child.Copy !req
84. Wouldn't want to disrupt an artiste!Copy !req
85. But there's actual work
that needs attending.Copy !req
86. - Come on now.
Dad!Copy !req
87. It's time to harvest!Copy !req
88. Simulator, take us
to the Elyfim 4 artifact. Make it quick.Copy !req
89. I'll be in the control room.Copy !req
90. Certainly, Master.Copy !req
91. No breaks!Copy !req
92. They're close, my sweet master.Copy !req
93. Okay. Let's take a look.Copy !req
94. I see nothing but ash.Copy !req
95. Behold. A treasure
appears to lay beneath the ash.Copy !req
96. By the Progenitor's beard,
a golden horn of hidden innocence!Copy !req
97. What is that fetching at market
these days, boy?Copy !req
98. Over five million, Master.Copy !req
99. Wait, Father.
Maybe we can put her in the zoo.Copy !req
100. And waste such treasure?Copy !req
101. - Yeah, shut up, tart baker!
- I'm not a tart baker.Copy !req
102. This horn will cover the cost
of three new simulators.Copy !req
103. I brought you a Pie Messiah.Copy !req
104. What? What is this?Copy !req
105. Intruder.Copy !req
106. Who dares trespass upon my dirty land?Copy !req
107. Sorry, I left it in the oven too long.Copy !req
108. Actually, It's not even supposed
to be ovenable. Not sure if that's a word.Copy !req
109. You microwave it.
I don't have a microwave yet.Copy !req
110. But I just wanted to stop by.
We haven't met.Copy !req
111. I'm your neighbor, Clancy.Copy !req
112. Wanted to say hi,
and I brought you a Pie Messiah.Copy !req
113. Your interruption cost me 50 million,
outsider!Copy !req
114. Father! Father! Father...Copy !req
115. The horn. Did you get the horn?Copy !req
116. No, Father, and the zygerd got away—Copy !req
117. She lies, Father. She let the zygerd go
and now the horn is lost.Copy !req
118. Daddy!Copy !req
119. Stephreyus Gene Hitch! Ah!Copy !req
120. I can't believe
that you've done this again.Copy !req
121. Master, have you ever seen your own eyes?Copy !req
122. Damn it, she's melting down.Copy !req
123. Rub some green oil onto her.
Right now, boy!Copy !req
124. I said now!Copy !req
125. - I'm surrounded by idiots.
- What's that stuff for?Copy !req
126. - We must have a comedian in our midst.Copy !req
127. Thank you, yeah.
Well, I mean, I do have a sense of humor—Copy !req
128. You're not funny at all!Copy !req
129. Everyone knows
you need to massage lantern-head oilCopy !req
130. into the simulator every day, twice a day,Copy !req
131. or the worlds within
will not produce artifacts.Copy !req
132. And the simulator could apopty—Copy !req
133. Could apocalyptize, outsider.Copy !req
134. And that means poof!Copy !req
135. Poof! Poof!Copy !req
136. - Wobble time.
Okay.Copy !req
137. - Uh...Copy !req
138. Well, it's great to meet you all.Copy !req
139. Come by sometime. Just down the way.
Enjoy the pie.Copy !req
140. Never come back!Copy !req
141. Okay, I won't.Copy !req
142. No big deal, not like I spentCopy !req
143. - all day making you a Pie Messiah.Copy !req
144. You're gonna do that to the person
who lives right down the way?Copy !req
145. We share vibes!Copy !req
146. You're gonna do that to me?
You're gonna do that to your neighbor?Copy !req
147. If someone brings you a pie,
you say thank you.Copy !req
148. Hello, Eye Master. While you
were gone, I baked something for you.Copy !req
149. - You did?
- You bet I did.Copy !req
150. What? What did you bake?Copy !req
151. Behold the Eye Messiah.Copy !req
152. Oh, no.Copy !req
153. I want to watch you
eat it, Master. Eat it, Master.Copy !req
154. Have a slice.Copy !req
155. Eat...Copy !req
156. me...Copy !req
157. please.Copy !req
158. No!Copy !req
159. Oh, man.Copy !req
160. Simulator Repair, this is Captain Bryce.Copy !req
161. Hey, Bryce.Copy !req
162. My name's Clancy
and I think my simulator—Copy !req
163. - Is pouring out purple smoke?
- Yeah.Copy !req
164. What kinda suckspometer you runnin'?Copy !req
165. - I don't know.
- Does it have looping ducts?Copy !req
166. - I dunno.
- Suckling nodes?Copy !req
167. - I don't know.
- Plate dilometers?Copy !req
168. - I don't know.
- Accenuating vapors?Copy !req
169. - Uh...
- Do you even knowCopy !req
170. what is going on in your simulator?Copy !req
171. It's the ducts! I don't know.
Yeah, I guess.Copy !req
172. - Let me go check it out.
Captain Bryce...Copy !req
173. Oh, God!Copy !req
174. - Why didn't you say there was a—Copy !req
175. can eat their own eyes.Copy !req
176. Don't!Copy !req
177. - Shit!Copy !req
178. Captain Bryce, are you dead?Copy !req
179. Whoo! Yeah!Copy !req
180. Holy cow, son!Copy !req
181. You've got a forbidden Velma 960
and she is fixing to wobble.Copy !req
182. Wobble?Copy !req
183. When was the last time
you rubbed green oil on it?Copy !req
184. And where's your lantern head?Copy !req
185. Bryce, I'm gonna be honest with you.Copy !req
186. I don't understand
most of the words you're saying.Copy !req
187. I just moved here from Earth.Copy !req
188. I bought this acre real cheap online
and...Copy !req
189. I don't know.
I kind of bit off more than I could chew.Copy !req
190. Clancy, Captain Bryce
is gonna take good care of you.Copy !req
191. Thanks, Captain Bryce.Copy !req
192. And I won't tell anybody about
the highly illegal contraband simlife...Copy !req
193. that you've been harvesting.Copy !req
194. - What?
- I myself have harvestedCopy !req
195. magically-imbued life from a simulator.Copy !req
196. Now you know my secretCopy !req
197. and I know yours.Copy !req
198. We are intertwined.Copy !req
199. Shit.Copy !req
200. Holy moly, it's making more!Copy !req
201. Come on, my boy,
let's locate your lantern headCopy !req
202. and get some green oil on that Velma
before she wobbles us into shards of time!Copy !req
203. Wait up, Captain Bryce.Copy !req
204. Clancy, my boy, look at this.Copy !req
205. Sparkle.Copy !req
206. Sparkle?Copy !req
207. The only thing that will stop
your simulator from apocalypticizingCopy !req
208. is the green oil
from that beast over there.Copy !req
209. Bryce, are we in any danger?Copy !req
210. - No. Not if you follow my simple rules...Copy !req
211. which I will sing to you right now.Copy !req
212. Okay.Copy !req
213. Holy moly!Copy !req
214. Hustle, you tart baker!Copy !req
215. Wow. You're a really good singer.Copy !req
216. Oh, thank you, Clancy.Copy !req
217. I'm not a professional, obviously.
It's just a part-time hobby.Copy !req
218. It's just something I like to do
for many hours of the day.Copy !req
219. Captain Bryce, what about this— this guy?Copy !req
220. He seems fine.Copy !req
221. This unlucky looter broke in and found
himself inside a patch of purple wobble.Copy !req
222. - That's the kind that locks you in time.
- Shouldn't we get him out of there?Copy !req
223. I'm afraid it's too late
for this sorry sap.Copy !req
224. His heart's still ticking,Copy !req
225. but his mind is pickled.Copy !req
226. I'm gonna poke him out of there.Copy !req
227. It's Brussels sprouts,
not brussel sprouts. Brussels!Copy !req
228. Yep, just as I thought.Copy !req
229. Not brussel.
- He's pickled.Copy !req
230. Rewinding this mush brain back
is the only humane thing left to do.Copy !req
231. What the fuck is "brussel"?Copy !req
232. Hey, Bryce. What... What is...Copy !req
233. What does the kind of wobble do
that's pee-pee yellowCopy !req
234. - and creeping up behind you?Copy !req
235. There's no such thing, you fool!Copy !req
236. Whoops, that's not in my rules!Copy !req
237. Hey!Copy !req
238. Clancy!Copy !req
239. - What?
- You must go save Sparkle.Copy !req
240. Harvest the green oil
and rub it into your simulator.Copy !req
241. Destiny calls but once in a lifetime!Copy !req
242. Uh...Copy !req
243. I'll just go steal it from my neighbor.Copy !req
244. Okay.Copy !req
245. You gonna eat me now?Copy !req
246. No. Shh!Copy !req
247. Eat me now.
Get out of here.Copy !req
248. Please?
Scat.Copy !req
249. Yeah.Copy !req
250. I'm sorry.
I was just checking on the Pie Messiah.Copy !req
251. I wanted to make sure y'all liked it.Copy !req
252. You think I could borrow
some lantern-head oil?Copy !req
253. Funny story.
I didn't know my simulator needed any.Copy !req
254. And now, I think it's about to—Copy !req
255. Intruder.
- Thanks for the pie.Copy !req
256. - Bye, Clancy.Copy !req
257. Oof!Copy !req
258. Ah!Copy !req
259. Master, I can see my eyes.Copy !req
260. I can see your eyes.Copy !req
261. This is our eyes.Copy !req
262. The eyes have it.Copy !req
263. Good morning, Clancy.
Which universe will you choose today?Copy !req
264. Fuck!Copy !req
265. Hey, you okay, Clancy?Copy !req
266. I'm fucking fine, Bryce!Copy !req
267. Okay. Bye.Copy !req
268. All my work, it's gone.Copy !req
269. How was I supposed to know
you needed fucking oil every day?Copy !req
270. Master, I did tell you.
- No, you didn't. When?Copy !req
271. I showed you a week ago.Copy !req
272. That's a week ago.
- I showed you the day before that.Copy !req
273. Okay, twice.Copy !req
274. - I told you in your hammock.
- Three times. Big fucking deal.Copy !req
275. - I showed you five minutes ago.
- Too late!Copy !req
276. - Master, it's become clear to me...
- I don't need you to fuckin' tell me...Copy !req
277. that you've been avoiding
dealing with the real worldCopy !req
278. - by going into my many universes.
- ... how to live my life!Copy !req
279. May I suggest
meeting my friend David?Copy !req
280. - How the fuck do you have friends?
- He lives on Buton 78914.Copy !req
281. He's a meditation master.Copy !req
282. I don't want to meet
your boring-ass friend David.Copy !req
283. You could be Octopus Sheriff.Copy !req
284. How about this—Copy !req
285. Bon voyage, Master.Copy !req
286. You failed, asshole!Copy !req
287. - Have fun.
- Shut up!Copy !req
288. Intriguing on so many levels.Copy !req
289. Hey, hi, Clancy. I'm David.Copy !req
290. Why don't you take a seat?Copy !req
291. Mmm. How about you take a seat
on my fucking face, Mr. Meditation Man?Copy !req
292. How does that sound
with your big dolphin smileCopy !req
293. and your comfortable fucking pants?Copy !req
294. How does that sound?Copy !req
295. Now you see who you really are?
Filled with fucking rage!Copy !req
296. Are you done?Copy !req
297. Yeah, I'm done.Copy !req
298. Let's take a minute together, okay?Copy !req
299. Here are three principles
we could at least check out.Copy !req
300. First one, silence.Copy !req
301. Giving you room to listen.Copy !req
302. Second one, stillness.Copy !req
303. Giving you room to feel.Copy !req
304. Third one, spaciousness.Copy !req
305. Just giving you room.Copy !req
306. This sucks.Copy !req
307. It's literally the worst experience
of my entire life.Copy !req
308. Why the fuck
would anyone do this to themselves?Copy !req
309. I wonder if I left the faucet on?
Man, bees are amazing.Copy !req
310. My sister's allergic to bees.
That was pretty coolCopy !req
311. when her face got all swollen,
her lips looked like clown lips.Copy !req
312. I miss her. Sarah's cool.Copy !req
313. Too bad I ruined that relationship.Copy !req
314. - My face itches.Copy !req
315. Holy shit.Copy !req
316. Whoa!Copy !req
317. Monkey?Copy !req
318. Monkey?Copy !req
319. Oh! Monkey! Ow!Copy !req
320. Monkey!Copy !req
321. - Monkey! Monkey!Copy !req
322. Monkey! You're so cute, little—Copy !req
323. Get your mother... Hey!Copy !req
324. Shh.Copy !req
325. I did it. David, I did it.Copy !req
326. That's great. Have a good day.Copy !req
327. Wait. Do you think
you could help me untangle myself?Copy !req
328. Yeah.Copy !req
329. Here we go.Copy !req
330. The moment I just accepted where I was,
instead of wishing I was somewhere else,Copy !req
331. everything just got better.Copy !req
332. Fantastic.Copy !req
333. It's like, for a second,
my thoughts weren't much of anything.Copy !req
334. Like I...Copy !req
335. - How do I say it? It's like I just "was."
- Oops.Copy !req
336. Is that normal?Copy !req
337. Yes. You see, Duncan—Copy !req
338. Clancy.Copy !req
339. Oh, okay.Copy !req
340. If you're caught up in your story,Copy !req
341. it's like living in a tiny apartment
with just enough room for youCopy !req
342. and your little mattress.Copy !req
343. The moment you get a little space
between yourself and your thoughts,Copy !req
344. it's like moving into a much bigger house.Copy !req
345. Then there's room to invite people in.Copy !req
346. There's space for you.Copy !req
347. And there's space for them.Copy !req
348. That's spaciousness.Copy !req
349. Cool.Copy !req
350. Like, you're talking about
the thing where—Copy !req
351. - I've thought about this a little bit—Copy !req
352. you could be living in a massive house,
but you're still a hoarder.Copy !req
353. Even though the space is empty,Copy !req
354. your mind is still filled up
with all of this stuffCopy !req
355. that's making you miserable all the time.Copy !req
356. Basically,
we're talking about psychological space.Copy !req
357. Your mind is overcrowded.Copy !req
358. That's it, yeah.Copy !req
359. So then you go,
"What if I just emptied my mind?"Copy !req
360. - Right.
- Just empty your mind.Copy !req
361. Well, go ahead and try.Copy !req
362. Can it even be done?Copy !req
363. Yes. You could learn how to do that.Copy !req
364. But it isn't the goal.Copy !req
365. And a lot of people teach meditationCopy !req
366. as if the goal is to treat your mind like
an unruly teenager and make it shut up.Copy !req
367. - Right. It's aggressive.
- It's very aggressive.Copy !req
368. So, just to be clear, you're sort of...
You're saying don't...Copy !req
369. It's not like you're supposed to shoveCopy !req
370. some kind of butt plug
in the asshole of your mind.Copy !req
371. Shoving a butt plug
in the asshole of your mind!Copy !req
372. But corking up that part...Copy !req
373. That idea of corking...Copy !req
374. It's not the idea.Copy !req
375. It seems more like it's accepting
there's this infinite swarm of thoughtsCopy !req
376. and that by understandingCopy !req
377. that you're not necessarily as connected
to them as you thought, it allows—Copy !req
378. - Which is what this is talking about.
- Right.Copy !req
379. Yeah. You don't have to kind of grasp
and dwell on thatCopy !req
380. as the only solution
for continuing to be alive.Copy !req
381. - Wow.
- There's another option,Copy !req
382. which is to use the sense-percept
to arrive back at the present.Copy !req
383. I get it.Copy !req
384. I'm enlightened now.Copy !req
385. - I thank you, my enlightened brother.
- Okay.Copy !req
386. Now I will return to my world
and transform it forever.Copy !req
387. - I just have one question for you.
- Sure.Copy !req
388. On the way out the door.Copy !req
389. How can you tell that you're feeling
that you are enlightenedCopy !req
390. and that you're gonna go save
all the other beings?Copy !req
391. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
392. Um...Copy !req
393. Okay, cut to commercial.Copy !req
394. I'm gonna walk out of the studio
right now.Copy !req
395. Before you go, here.Copy !req
396. Take this with you.Copy !req
397. That's a good one, David. I get it.
You gave me nothing.Copy !req
398. Take a closer look, Clancy.Copy !req
399. Whoa.Copy !req
400. Whoa.Copy !req
401. - Thank you.
- Think nothing of it.Copy !req
402. I'm back!Copy !req
403. Greetings, Master.
Did you have fun talking to David?Copy !req
404. I did.
- Cool.Copy !req
405. Did you see the monkey with the cape?Copy !req
406. Yeah!Copy !req
407. - Thanks, Computer.
- You're welcome, Master.Copy !req
408. Hey, call me
Clancy, "the Enlightened One."Copy !req
409. Oh, damn.Copy !req
410. Boop. Boop.Copy !req
411. Hey, Clancy?Copy !req
412. Oh, I'm sorry, Captain Bryce.Copy !req
413. I completely forgot
you were still over there.Copy !req
414. Sometimes, the mind flies
get the best of us. It happens.Copy !req
415. I'm sorry you're trapped in there, man.Copy !req
416. Oh, no worries. I'm fine.Copy !req
417. I finally have time
to really think about things, you know?Copy !req
418. Gives me a whole new perspective.Copy !req
419. That's great.Copy !req
420. - Hey, Clancy, could you do me a favor?
- Yeah, sure.Copy !req
421. If it's not too much trouble,Copy !req
422. could I bother you
for a little something to eat?Copy !req
423. Oh, yeah, sure thing.Copy !req
424. Ah, num, num.Copy !req
425. Ah, yes, you'll get two chariots when
you ascend to the spirit plane, for sure.Copy !req
426. Thank you, good man.Copy !req
427. You're welcome.Copy !req
428. Chirp.Copy !req