1. That's it! I figured it out.Copy !req
2. I finally know what I want
to do with my life.Copy !req
3. Be a professional
basketball player.Copy !req
4. You're 31/2 feet tall.Copy !req
5. You know,
you're a real dream killer.Copy !req
6. I hope you don't
ever have children.Copy !req
7. I thought you were
a hairdresser.Copy !req
8. It's time for a new challenge.Copy !req
9. And I can't find my scissors.Copy !req
10. I'll be a farmer,
work the land, feed the people.Copy !req
11. They get up
at 4:00 in the morning.Copy !req
12. Hmm. I know what I'll be...
a mountain climber!Copy !req
13. Did you say climber?Copy !req
14. Climb...
large mountains...Copy !req
15. Scale... impossible peaks!Copy !req
16. You can't even climb the stairs!Copy !req
17. It's the altitude!Copy !req
18. I've reached the summit!Copy !req
19. What a view!Copy !req
20. Thank you for calling
Trans Visitron Cable.Copy !req
21. How may I offer you
excellent service today?Copy !req
22. Good morning, Julie.Copy !req
23. Do you know why I'm smiling?Copy !req
24. Because it's Monday.Copy !req
25. And that's the day I randomly
select one of our customersCopy !req
26. and turn off their cable.Copy !req
27. Let's see who is today's
unlucky customer!Copy !req
28. And we're all set to go.
It's game one of the finals.Copy !req
29. We have two evenly matched teams.Copy !req
30. Here we go.Copy !req
31. And here's the tip...Copy !req
32. What?Copy !req
33. No, no, no, no, no, no!Copy !req
34. This can't be happening!Copy !req
35. Let the fun begin!Copy !req
36. Thank you for calling
Trans Visitron Cable.Copy !req
37. Please hold
while we access your account.Copy !req
38. Thank you for holding.Copy !req
39. The name associated
with this accountCopy !req
40. is Buges Buney.
Is this correct?Copy !req
41. Yes.Copy !req
42. Thanks, Mr. Buney.Copy !req
43. Please tell us in a few words
why you are callingCopy !req
44. so we may better assist you.Copy !req
45. You can say simple phrases
like, "Pay my bill",Copy !req
46. - or, "My cable's out".
- My cable's out.Copy !req
47. I understand you want
to terminate your cable service.Copy !req
48. - Is this correct?
- What?Copy !req
49. No! This is not correct!Copy !req
50. Oh, this is a good one.Copy !req
51. My cable is out!Copy !req
52. I'm sorry. I'm having
trouble understanding you.Copy !req
53. Please try again later.
Good-bye.Copy !req
54. What? No, no, no!Copy !req
55. Let's see how long
it takes him to call back.Copy !req
56. They hung up on me!Copy !req
57. I'm not surprised.
You were yelling at them.Copy !req
58. So much hostility.Copy !req
59. Seriously, do not have children.Copy !req
60. 7, 8, 9...Copy !req
61. Huh, faster than I thought.Copy !req
62. That Mr. Buney's
a real feisty one.Copy !req
63. Thank you for calling Trans Visitron.Copy !req
64. My name is Cecil. How can I
offer you excellent service?Copy !req
65. Oh, hi, yes, my cable went outCopy !req
66. and it's game one of the finals
and I'm missing it.Copy !req
67. Oh, dear. Well...Copy !req
68. I'd be happy to send a technicianCopy !req
69. to your home... tomorrow.Copy !req
70. Tomorrow? The game's on now!Copy !req
71. Can't you press a button
and turn my cable back on?Copy !req
72. Oh, Mr. Buney.Copy !req
73. Do you really think I can
just turn your cableCopy !req
74. on and off with the
click of a mouse?Copy !req
75. Fine! I'll take
the appointment tomorrow.Copy !req
76. At least I'll see game two.Copy !req
77. Okey doke.
A technician will be thereCopy !req
78. some time between
8:00 A.M. and 6:00 P.M.Copy !req
79. But that's all day!Copy !req
80. And just a friendly reminder,Copy !req
81. someone does need to be home
during those hours.Copy !req
82. Anything else I can help you with?Copy !req
83. No, you've done enough.Copy !req
84. Did I provide you
with excellent service?Copy !req
85. Yes. Beyond excellent.Copy !req
86. - Thank you.
- Who was that?Copy !req
87. A customer service representative.Copy !req
88. You know, someone whose job it
is to make people miserable.Copy !req
89. You can get
paid to make people miserable?Copy !req
90. All these years,
I've been doing it for free.Copy !req
91. Here, you go be an
underwater welder.Copy !req
92. I think I just found
what I was born to do.Copy !req
93. Get ready, people.Copy !req
94. I'm about to make you
a whole lot more miserabler...Copy !req
95. For money!Copy !req
96. Tina.Copy !req
97. What? I'm busy!Copy !req
98. On a résumé,
should everything be in bold,Copy !req
99. everything be underlined,
or everything be in italics?Copy !req
100. - Hi!
- Oh, hey, Lola.Copy !req
101. What do you need with a résumé?Copy !req
102. I need to make
a photo copy of my hand.Copy !req
103. - What?
- Or do I just go for itCopy !req
104. and do the whole
thing in a fun font?Copy !req
105. There's this palm reader
that's really good,Copy !req
106. but she's in Tierra del Fuego,
so I need to send herCopy !req
107. - a photo copy of my palm.
- Excuse me, miss?Copy !req
108. Yeah, give me a minute. You can
use that copier over there.Copy !req
109. Thanks!Copy !req
110. I'm sorry, I'm kind
of in a hurry.Copy !req
111. Which font?
Old west or Triberica?Copy !req
112. Ooh, or Triberica grand?Copy !req
113. Hello! I need
a hundred copies of this.Copy !req
114. I said give me a minute!Copy !req
115. Hmm, Tina and Bugs, so much hostility.Copy !req
116. It says "Load paper"?Copy !req
117. Then load paper!Copy !req
118. Oh, thanks.Copy !req
119. How about my hundred copies?Copy !req
120. How about I take your head
and shove it in that machineCopy !req
121. and make a hundred copies
of your stupid face?Copy !req
122. You got time for that?Copy !req
123. Tina, what was that about?Copy !req
124. That guy was being a jerk.Copy !req
125. He was a customer.
So put a smile on your face.Copy !req
126. Easy for you to say! You don't
have to deal with these people.Copy !req
127. Tina, I'm afraid
until you can becomeCopy !req
128. a little more
positive and upbeat,Copy !req
129. I have no choice but
to suspend you.Copy !req
130. But that's not my personality.Copy !req
131. How am supposed to be
positive and upbeat?Copy !req
132. I don't know.
Find someone to teach you.Copy !req
133. Positive and upbeat.Copy !req
134. What kind of nitwit's
always positive and upbeat?Copy !req
135. Toner exploded!Copy !req
136. Hmm. Looks like I have freckles.Copy !req
137. I've always wanted freckles.
Look, freckles!Copy !req
138. All right, it's 8:00.Copy !req
139. Someone will be here
between now and 6:00.Copy !req
140. Hopefully closer to now.Copy !req
141. Thanks again for letting me
pick your brain.Copy !req
142. Are you kidding? No one's ever
wanted to pick my brain before.Copy !req
143. Well, except for that one time
when I volunteeredCopy !req
144. for those medical experiments.Copy !req
145. Whahey! That's our space!Copy !req
146. Oh, that's ok, we'll
find another one.Copy !req
147. Have a great day!Copy !req
148. Oh, I love your hat.Copy !req
149. You've got to be kidding me.
He took your space.Copy !req
150. - That didn't bother you?
- Ehh.Copy !req
151. There's plenty spots
to go around.Copy !req
152. Besides, this one's
much further away.Copy !req
153. What's good about that?Copy !req
154. Well, it gives me more time
to practice my new walk.Copy !req
155. What do you think?Copy !req
156. More arms or less arms?Copy !req
157. More arms, for sure.Copy !req
158. Thank you!Copy !req
159. Oh, I get it.Copy !req
160. You wanted to take
me to the mallCopy !req
161. so that I'd see what it's likeCopy !req
162. to be on the other side
of the counter,Copy !req
163. so that the next time
I'm dealing with a customer,Copy !req
164. I'll be nice and friendlyCopy !req
165. and remember that in the end,
we're all just people, right?Copy !req
166. No, I just wanted to get
some new lip gloss.Copy !req
167. But that would have been
a good idea. You're smart!Copy !req
168. I'm not that smart.
I'm about to lose my job.Copy !req
169. - How do you do it?
- What?Copy !req
170. - Not get annoyed with people.
- Oh, I don't know.Copy !req
171. I guess it's just in my genes.Copy !req
172. Oh, no, wait, I'm
not wearing jeans.Copy !req
173. I should get some jeans!Copy !req
174. Whoa! Hey, what are you doing?Copy !req
175. You don't just spray perfume
on someone without askin'.Copy !req
176. - No one likes that.
- Ooh, Tina!Copy !req
177. This lady just sprayed
perfume on meCopy !req
178. and I didn't even have to ask.Copy !req
179. Hi, can you maybe just
spray a little here?Copy !req
180. Yeah, and here.
And then just this whole...Copy !req
181. this whole area right here.Copy !req
182. Maybe my face? Ow.Copy !req
183. Oh, I should have shut my eyes.Copy !req
184. It's my fault, my fault.Copy !req
185. Why did I have to drink so much?Copy !req
186. Ow, ooh, ha, whoo!Copy !req
187. No, wait!Copy !req
188. I'm here!Copy !req
189. I'm here!Copy !req
190. I'm here!Copy !req
191. I was here!Copy !req
192. It never gets old.Copy !req
193. "Sorry we missed you."Copy !req
194. Oh-ho. You're gonna be sorry.Copy !req
195. Your family is gorgeous, Ted.Copy !req
196. Your son looks like
quarterback material.Copy !req
197. - That's my daughter.
- She's lovely.Copy !req
198. And you know a lot of girls
play football these days.Copy !req
199. This is quite a résumé.
A little hard to read.Copy !req
200. That's the Triberica grand.Copy !req
201. Hairdresser, marine corp.Copy !req
202. You were the CEO of Enormicorp?Copy !req
203. This is all incredibly impressive.Copy !req
204. That's why it's all in bold.Copy !req
205. But I'm afraid you're overqualified.Copy !req
206. What? No! I swear, I'm not.Copy !req
207. It only looks that way
because of the giant font size.Copy !req
208. Please, I was born to work
in customer service!Copy !req
209. Well, I suppose I can make you
the customer service supervisor.Copy !req
210. Will I still get to make
people's lives miserable?Copy !req
211. Heh! Only when you're forced
to fire someone.Copy !req
212. Welcome aboard.Copy !req
213. I get to fire people?Copy !req
214. 5 seconds, you can't go
to the bathroom for 5 seconds?Copy !req
215. Thank you for calling Trans Visitron.Copy !req
216. We're always working for you.
My name is Daffy.Copy !req
217. How can I offer you
excellent service today?Copy !req
218. - Daffy?
- Am I speaking to...Copy !req
219. - Buges Buney?
- It's me!Copy !req
220. Ok, Mr. Buney, what seems
to be the problem today?Copy !req
221. You know what the problem is,
you live with me.Copy !req
222. Our cable's out.Copy !req
223. Is this Bugs Bunny?Copy !req
224. Yes!Copy !req
225. Then why did you say
your name was Buges Buney?Copy !req
226. I didn't. You did.Copy !req
227. Can you just put
our cable back on?Copy !req
228. Oh, I don't know how to do that.Copy !req
229. I thought you worked there!Copy !req
230. I do, but so far
I've just been firing people.Copy !req
231. Daffy, can you please find someone
who can put our cable back on?Copy !req
232. I'm about to miss another game!Copy !req
233. All right, here's what
I'm going to do for you.Copy !req
234. I'm going to transfer you to one of
my customer service representatives.Copy !req
235. No, wait!
Don't put me back on with...Copy !req
236. Hello, this is Cecil.Copy !req
237. Please, I'm begging you,
the game is about to start.Copy !req
238. Isn't there anything you can do
to turn my cable back on?Copy !req
239. Hmm. I could try
resetting your account.Copy !req
240. Yes! Reset it!Copy !req
241. Okey doke.
How's your day going so far?Copy !req
242. - Horrible!
- I'm sorry to hear that.Copy !req
243. Just reset it!Copy !req
244. All right, here we go!Copy !req
245. You did it!
My cable's back on!Copy !req
246. Is there anything else
I can help you with today?Copy !req
247. But wait, I only
have one channel!Copy !req
248. Yep. That's
the bronze package.Copy !req
249. How is one channel a package?Copy !req
250. If you want, I can upgrade you
to the silver package.Copy !req
251. What package do I need
to watch the basketball game?Copy !req
252. Well, that would be the gold package.Copy !req
253. Then give me the gold package!Copy !req
254. Okey doke, please hold.Copy !req
255. Ooh, that's hot.Copy !req
256. Ohh.Copy !req
257. That is ♪ good ♪ coffee.Copy !req
258. I can't believe you watch this stuff.Copy !req
259. It's garbage!Copy !req
260. Watch the basketball game
or something.Copy !req
261. Isn't it the playoffs?Copy !req
262. Maybe I'll just watch a little bit.Copy !req
263. Well, I have good news and bad news.Copy !req
264. The bad news is,
I was not able to upgrade youCopy !req
265. to the gold package.Copy !req
266. What's the good news?Copy !req
267. Oh, did I say
there was good news?Copy !req
268. Will someone tip me over, please?Copy !req
269. Julie?Copy !req
270. Julie, I know you can hear me.Copy !req
271. Julie. Julie.Copy !req
272. Julie!Copy !req
273. Julie?Copy !req
274. Of course you realize...Copy !req
275. This means war!Copy !req
276. Closed? Why would Pizzarriba be
closed in the middle of the day?Copy !req
277. Dr. Jimenez
has a twin brother?Copy !req
278. What would Lindsay say? She's
about to sell the hacienda!Copy !req
279. She already has too much on her plate.Copy !req
280. - You want to go to Tutty's?
- Ehh.Copy !req
281. I'm sorry, Julie.
You know how these things go.Copy !req
282. I'm going to need you
to clear out your desk.Copy !req
283. And anything you might have left
in the office refrigerator.Copy !req
284. Good luck.Copy !req
285. Cecil, where are you going?Copy !req
286. I'm on break.Copy !req
287. Ok, but you better be back
by 2:30, or you're fired.Copy !req
288. What?Copy !req
289. Thanks.Copy !req
290. Wait, I thought you got
the cheeseburger.Copy !req
291. Eh, cottage cheese will be fine.Copy !req
292. Try something new.
Who knows, maybe I'll like it.Copy !req
293. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
294. Hmm, not as cheesy as you'd think.Copy !req
295. Very cottage-y, though.Copy !req
296. Ok. Let me give you
a scenario.Copy !req
297. Aw, that's so sweet, thank you.Copy !req
298. I feel bad, though. I don't
have anything to give you.Copy !req
299. Here, take my cottage cheese,
I insist.Copy !req
300. Oh, one more quick, huge bite.Copy !req
301. No, a scenario. I'm going to
describe a situation at work.Copy !req
302. You tell me how you would handle it.Copy !req
303. Ooh, fun!Copy !req
304. Ok. Imagine some customer
comes up to you at the counter.Copy !req
305. - Who is it?
- Who's what?Copy !req
306. - The customer.
- I don't know.Copy !req
307. It doesn't matter.
Just pick someone.Copy !req
308. Ok, I've got him.Copy !req
309. All right.
So this customer is in a hurry,Copy !req
310. but you're already busy
doing a bunch of other stuff.Copy !req
311. I'm sorry, where
do I work again?Copy !req
312. Copy place!Copy !req
313. Right, got it.Copy !req
314. So you tell him to wait a minute,Copy !req
315. but he keeps ringing the bell,Copy !req
316. saying, "Miss, miss"!Copy !req
317. Miss, miss!Copy !req
318. Well, hello there, customer.
Can I help you?Copy !req
319. That depends.Copy !req
320. What are you doing
for the rest of your life?Copy !req
321. Well, kinda thought
I was going to work hereCopy !req
322. until I figured out
what I really wanted to do.Copy !req
323. Or maybe I'll go back to college.Copy !req
324. Forget all that.
Marry me.Copy !req
325. Customer!Copy !req
326. - Say yes.
- Yes, yes!Copy !req
327. I'll be Mrs. customer!Copy !req
328. Lola!Copy !req
329. Huh?Copy !req
330. What would you do
with that customer?Copy !req
331. I'd drop everything
and do whatever he said.Copy !req
332. He's my customer.
And my customer is my world.Copy !req
333. Wow.Copy !req
334. I... Think I've got the wrong
personality for customer service.Copy !req
335. You know, maybe just
one more teeny huge bite.Copy !req
336. Welcome to the coffee hut.
My name is Becky.Copy !req
337. How can I offer you
excellent service today?Copy !req
338. I'll have a cappuccino.Copy !req
339. - Okey doke.
- I'm kind of in a hurry.Copy !req
340. Oh, looks like
the machine's not working.Copy !req
341. If you'd like, I can upgrade
you to a regular coffee.Copy !req
342. I don't know how that's an upgrade,Copy !req
343. - but... ok.
- Okey doke.Copy !req
344. Oh, are you watching the playoffs?Copy !req
345. No.Copy !req
346. I really am in a hurry.Copy !req
347. Okey doke.
Oh, you know what?Copy !req
348. We're out of coffee.Copy !req
349. Ugh, forget it.Copy !req
350. If you like,
you can come back tomorrow,Copy !req
351. some time between
8:00 A.M. and 6:00 P.M.Copy !req
352. Whoo! 2:28.Copy !req
353. Going up?Copy !req
354. What package would you like?Copy !req
355. Package? I just want
to go to the 22nd floor.Copy !req
356. Well, there's a number of ways
to get to the 22nd floor.Copy !req
357. Ah, you can get the
silver package,Copy !req
358. which takes you to
the 20th floor,Copy !req
359. but you'll have to walk
the last two floors.Copy !req
360. Or I can give you
the gold package,Copy !req
361. which takes you straight to 22.Copy !req
362. But that's not available till
September of next year, see.Copy !req
363. Or now in the bronze package,Copy !req
364. for every floor we go up,
we go down, too.Copy !req
365. So that one
takes a while, mm-hmm.Copy !req
366. Forget it, I'll take the stairs.Copy !req
367. Okey doke. Heh.Copy !req
368. Did I provide you
with excellent service today?Copy !req
369. I'm sorry, sir,
we can't photo copy money.Copy !req
370. Of course you can!Copy !req
371. You just put the
dollar in the machineCopy !req
372. and make a million copies!Copy !req
373. Oh, thank goodness you're here.Copy !req
374. I need you to take care
of this customer.Copy !req
375. That's what I wanted
to talk to you about.Copy !req
376. I don't think I can do that
and be positive and upbeat.Copy !req
377. Forget positive and upbeat.Copy !req
378. Right now I need rude
and mean-spirited.Copy !req
379. You were right.Copy !req
380. I had no idea how hard it was
dealing with these people!Copy !req
381. What are you lookin' at, girly?Copy !req
382. I'll tell you what I'm lookin' at.Copy !req
383. A sad little man who buys his jeans
in the children's departmentCopy !req
384. and who's about to get beat up
with his own boots.Copy !req
385. You hear me? And if you ever steal
my friend's parking space again,Copy !req
386. I'll put you in a shoe box
and bury you in my backyard.Copy !req
387. Welcome back.Copy !req
388. Whoo! I made it.Copy !req
389. Where is everyone?
Where am I?Copy !req
390. - The future.
- What?Copy !req
391. Where are all the customer
service representatives?Copy !req
392. In the future, there are none.Copy !req
393. But why?Copy !req
394. Because one customer
was so mistreatedCopy !req
395. that he rose up
and the people followed!Copy !req
396. Mr. Buney!Copy !req
397. It's pronounced Bunny!Copy !req
398. But you can stop him.Copy !req
399. How?Copy !req
400. By turning his cable back on.Copy !req
401. - Ooh!
- Do it now,Copy !req
402. so he doesn't rise up!Copy !req
403. Wait... Don't you need
to take me back in timeCopy !req
404. in order for this to work?Copy !req
405. Yes! Normally.Copy !req
406. But, uh, for a bunch
of time travel reasonsCopy !req
407. that you wouldn't understand,Copy !req
408. eh, we're going to do it this way.Copy !req
409. - But...
- Just hurry!Copy !req
410. The time hole is closing!Copy !req
411. Oh, no, the time hole!
There, it's on.Copy !req
412. Is that all the movie channels?Copy !req
413. Fine.Copy !req
414. I know he had the
full sports package.Copy !req
415. While you're at it,
why don't you throw inCopy !req
416. the Spanish language channels?Copy !req
417. I think he's got a friend
who watches them sometimes.Copy !req
418. I did it. Now bring me
back to the present.Copy !req
419. Oh, good, Cecil, it's you.Copy !req
420. - You're fired.
- What?Copy !req
421. Go ahead and clear
out your desk.Copy !req
422. Well, that's everyone.Copy !req
423. Oh, hey, Bugs.Copy !req
424. - I think you mean...
- Buges.Copy !req
425. Buges Buney?Copy !req
426. Oh, hey.Copy !req
427. Thanks for providing me
with excellent service today.Copy !req
428. - Unbelievable!
- What?Copy !req
429. Ted fired me
because I fired everybody else.Copy !req
430. Apparently you have to have
a reason to fire people.Copy !req
431. See, that's why I don't like
working for big corporations.Copy !req
432. Well, at least the cable's on
in time for game seven.Copy !req
433. Hey, Speedy,
would you mind changing...Copy !req
434. You're just in time!
Lindsay's aboutCopy !req
435. - to have her baby.
- Who's Lindsay?Copy !req
436. Lindsay is the American
foreign exchange studentCopy !req
437. living in the hacienda
with Dr. Jimenez,Copy !req
438. but she doesn't know
that the haciendaCopy !req
439. was built on an ancient
Aztecan burial ground.Copy !req
440. So Dr. Jimenez
is the bad guy?Copy !req
441. No, Felix is the bad guy.Copy !req
442. Dr. Jimenez is wonderful.Copy !req
443. He's the father!Copy !req
444. Eh, I'll watch the finals next year.Copy !req
445. That's all, folks!Copy !req
446. Whoa! Whoa!Copy !req
447. Will someone tip me over, please?Copy !req
448. Please? Hello?Copy !req
449. Julie. Julie!Copy !req