1. When are you gonna learn how to swim?
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2. Swimming's for losers
who can't afford boats.
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3. Go away.
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4. No, I don't want to play.
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5. I said I don't want to play.
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6. There's leash laws, you know.
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7. What the?
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8. Hey! No!
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9. Stop it!
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10. Bugs, control your Tasmanian Devil.
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11. He's digging up the yard again.
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12. I'm warning you,
you get anymore dirt on me,
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13. and there will be consequences.
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14. Well, next time there
will be consequences.
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15. Maybe.
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16. Probably not.
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17. Hmm.
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18. What's this line for?
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19. A movie.
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20. Movie, huh?
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21. Must be good.
Long line.
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22. Next.
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23. One ticket and a large popcorn.
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24. Oh, and I'm a senior citizen.
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25. And a student.
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26. And active military.
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27. So just go ahead
and give me those discounts.
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28. Excuse me?
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29. What's this movie about anyway?
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30. It's the Foghorn Leghorn story.
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31. A rags to riches tale
of a poor rooster
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32. who grows up to become one of the world's
greatest entrepreneurs.
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33. Snooze fest.
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34. What else is playing?
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35. This isn't a movie theater.
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36. We're making a movie.
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37. This line is to audition
for the role of Mr. Foghorn Leghorn.
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38. This guy?
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39. You're making a movie about this guy?
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40. Pbblt! Ha!
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41. with a red pompadour,
2 weird balls hanging from his chin,
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42. and a big, fat gut.
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43. Ugh!
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44. Son, you better watch what you say.
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45. Or you might just find yourself
with the lead role.
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46. Heh heh heh.
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47. Mr. Leghorn, I think
that would be a huge mistake.
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48. A huge mistake is wearing that blouse
with those shoes, Carol.
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49. Son, I say, son,
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50. has anybody ever told you
you've got chutzpah?
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51. Sounds vaguely familiar,
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52. but I don't speak Spanish.
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53. Sir, don't you remember?
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54. He's the idiot
who destroyed your company.
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55. I only remember the positive, Carol.
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56. That's why I'm a success.
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57. I like you, son.
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58. You speak your mind.
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59. That's just what this movie needs.
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60. Pbblt. I have
a lot better things to do with my time
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61. than to star in your stupid movie.
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62. Like what?
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63. Touché.
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64. Ha ha ha!
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65. You can all go home.
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66. The role, I say the role,
has been cast.
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67. But he's not even a rooster.
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68. He's more of a rooster,
I say he's more of a rooster
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69. than you'll ever be.
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70. Don't you think it's a little weird
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71. having a duck play a rooster?
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72. It's called acting, son.
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73. Don't you think it's a little weird
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74. that I'm not an actor?
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75. Ha ha ha!
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76. That's a knee-slapper.
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77. You're killing me.
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78. Good boy.
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79. I don't know why Daffy's
always complaining.
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80. You don't dig up the yard.
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81. Aah!
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82. I gotta gets me
an electric clothes dryer.
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83. Aah!
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84. Uhh.
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85. Eh, what's up, neighbor?
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86. I'll tell you what's up.
Your dumb dog.
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87. He's not a dog,
he's a Tasmanian Devil.
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88. I don't care what breed he is.
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89. When it digs up my yard,
we got a problem.
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90. Well, we've got another problem.
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91. How will we get out of this hole?
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92. Come here, boy!
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93. Go get help.
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94. Like I said, dumb dog.
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95. Oh, here we go.
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96. What's this?
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97. This is interesting.
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98. It's mine!
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99. Uhh!
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100. You don't even know what it is.
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101. No.
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102. No.
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103. No.
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104. No.
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105. Nope.
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106. It's a vase.
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107. You mean my vase.
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108. Why do you want it so badly?
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109. You said it was interesting.
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110. That's all I needed to hear.
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111. Now, good day, sir.
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112. Uh, little help?
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113. If I'm going to play Foghorn Leghorn
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114. in "The Foghorn Leghorn Story,"
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115. then I need to know
all about Foghorn Leghorn.
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116. Let's start with your name.
What is it?
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117. Foghorn Leghorn.
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118. Fog... horn Leg... horn.
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119. Ok, Foghorn,
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120. tell me about yourself.
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121. Well, I was born,
I say I was born, in 19...
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122. Hey, this isn't the DMV.
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123. I don't care when and where
you were born
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124. or what your childhood was like
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125. or where you went to school
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126. or what experiences shaped
your outlook on life.
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127. If I'm gonna play you,
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128. then I'm going to need more
than just some dumb facts.
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129. I need to know what's in here.
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130. Hmm. My passion.
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131. Ok, son.
From my earliest days,
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132. I remember being fascinated
by a tale,
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133. a tale of a King Baku
and his beautiful Queen Yimyong.
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134. Now, the Queen had a pet turtle
that she loved more than anything.
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135. But one day, I say one day,
the King found the Queen in tears.
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136. The turtle had died.
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137. Well, King Baku couldn't bear
to see Queen Yimyong cry,
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138. so he sent 8 ships, I say 8 ships,
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139. in 8 directions
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140. with orders to find
the most exquisite turtle in the world.
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141. One that would never die.
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142. Only one ship,
I say one ship, returned.
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143. And the Captain gave the King
a Burmese turtle
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144. made of pure gold.
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145. And when the King gave
the Burmese turtle to his Queen,
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146. she burst, I say she burst, with joy.
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147. Literally.
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148. The King took
the Burmese turtle and hid it
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149. so that no one, I say no one,
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150. would ever burst with joy again.
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151. Well, I'm gonna tell you
something, son.
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152. When I heard that story,
I vowed, I say I vowed,
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153. to find that turtle.
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154. And you know what?
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155. I never did.
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156. But I learned something
worth more than the Burmese turtle.
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157. It ain't the treasure, son,
it's the quest.
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158. And that's, I say that's,
what's in here.
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159. So basically, you say
"I say, I say" a lot?
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160. Got it.
See you on the set.
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161. I say, I say my name
is Foghorn Leghorn
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162. and I tell boring stories.
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163. Hmm. That boy,
I say that boy, gets me.
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164. You lied.
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165. Excuse me?
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166. You said this vase was interesting.
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167. Well, I've been watching it
for 2 hours
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168. and it ain't done a thing.
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169. It's not supposed to do anything.
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170. Then what's interesting about it?
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171. Well, it looks pretty old.
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172. It could be valuable.
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173. Valuable?
That's all I needed to hear.
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174. So long, sucker.
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175. Ha ha!
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176. Thanks.
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177. This, I say this, is
the opening scene of the movie,
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178. where I say good-bye
to my wonderful mama forever.
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179. She's gonna say her line,
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180. and then you break down
and cry like a baby.
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181. Just like I did.
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182. I say, I say action.
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183. Son, I say, son,
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184. remember what I always told you.
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185. It's not the treasure,
it's the quest.
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186. Cry.
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187. Your mama's gone.
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188. Man.
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189. I'm crying so hard.
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190. I say, I say, look at hard I cry.
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191. Don't say it, son, do it.
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192. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
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193. You're laughing?
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194. I don't know,
I'm grasping at straws here.
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195. I mean, she's not giving me anything.
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196. Can't somebody get me
a real actress to work with?
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197. You heard him.
Somebody help that women out of that bed
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198. so we can put a real actress in it.
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199. "Somebody" means you, Carol.
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200. One electric clothes dryer.
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201. Will you be paying
with cash or credit?
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202. Vase.
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203. Are you trying to make me
look like a fool?
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204. You don't need me
to make you look like a fool.
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205. You're dern right I don't.
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206. This thing ain't a valuable.
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207. I said it could be valuable.
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208. You'd need an expert
to know for sure.
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209. That's all I needed to hear.
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210. Now who's the fool, idiot?
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211. Heh heh heh.
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212. You know any experts?
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213. Now, son, in that box,
I say in that box,
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214. you believe is the Burmese turtle.
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215. It's what you've wanted
your whole life.
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216. Now, after you say your line,
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217. you will start running,
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218. which will be my cue
to press this button
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219. 'causing an elaborate chain reaction
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220. which will destroy the entire set.
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221. So we only have one shot at this.
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222. Are you ready?
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223. I was born ready.
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224. Let's shoot this, you turkeys.
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225. Action.
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226. I say, I say,
the Burmese turtle is mine.
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227. Quick question.
When's lunch?
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228. Uhh.
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229. Unbelievable.
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230. - It's ridiculous.
- I'm out of here.
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231. I'm done.
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232. You blew the entire stunt.
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233. Way to go, turkey.
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234. I'm a rooster!
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235. Union guys.
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236. Well, you win some, you lose some.
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237. Gotta know when to hold 'em,
when to fold 'em.
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238. Four score and seven years.
You know what I mean?
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239. Are you quitting on me, son?
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240. Everybody else quit, so I quit.
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241. Mob mentality.
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242. I guess I was wrong about you, son.
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243. What's that supposed to mean?
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244. Roosters are loyal.
Roosters never quit.
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245. Roosters, I say roosters,
fight to the end.
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246. And, son, you are no rooster.
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247. Did you just call me a no rooster?
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248. What are you gonna
do about it, huh, son?
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249. I say, what are you
gonna do about it?
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250. Wah!
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251. Huh!
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252. Huh! Uhh!
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253. Aah!
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254. Well, what's your expert opinion?
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255. Ooh, unless my eyes deceive me,
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256. it appears to be
an authentic Satsuma vase.
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257. Ooh!
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258. What's a Satsuma vase?
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259. It's an ornate ceramic vessel
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260. from fourteenth century Japan.
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261. Is it valuable?
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262. Oh, I dare say.
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263. Look at this finish,
how expertly executed it is.
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264. And the color.
It's remarkably even.
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265. Oh, and we mustn't forget the glaze.
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266. Ooh, don't get me started
on the glaze.
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267. And the trim.
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268. Lustrous texture.
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269. The buff-tinged enamel.
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270. Get to the point,
you stupid squirrels.
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271. - We're gophers.
- Indeed.
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272. What's the darn thing worth?
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273. Well, given the variables
of today's marketplace.
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274. The scarcity of Satsuma ceramics.
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275. And factoring in
the current value of the yen.
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276. I'd say your vase
is worth approximately...
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277. - A million dollars.
- Oh!
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278. Now, which one of you
lucky two found it?
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279. - I...
- I did!
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280. I was swimming laps in my pool
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281. when my dumb dog dug
a hole in my yard.
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282. I saw the vase, picked it up,
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283. and I very clearly stated,
"This is interesting."
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284. That's all I needed to hear.
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285. No, it's quite all right.
It's just a Tiffany lamp.
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286. After all, things are replaceable.
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287. Well, not that.
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288. That was one of a kind.
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289. Aah!
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290. Take that! Ow!
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291. And that!
And that!
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292. Is that all you've got?
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293. I'm still standing here.
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294. They've broken nearly
everything in the store.
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295. Well, look on the bright side,
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296. soon they'll be nothing left
to break.
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297. - Daffy?
- Bugs?
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298. - Uhh!
- Mother.
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299. Well, look who finally
learned to cry.
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300. Boh!
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301. Uhh! Uhh! Uhh!
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302. Uhh! Uhh! Uhh.
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303. Heh heh heh.
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304. Ow!
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305. I say ow!
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306. Ooh!
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307. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
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308. Oh, you were.
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309. That is smashing.
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310. Oh, I made a joke.
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311. I think you might be
a rooster after all, son.
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312. That's all I ever wanted to be.
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313. Oh!
Ahh.
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314. No!
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315. The Burmese turtle!
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316. We found it.
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317. It's beautiful.
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318. I say, it's beautiful.
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319. It's mine!
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320. Oh, I'm so happy.
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321. I've never been filled
with so much joy.
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322. I feel like I'm about to...
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323. That was interesting.
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324. I fe-it's beautiful. To...
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325. I say, I say it's beautiful.
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326. It's mine!
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327. I gots me so much joy
I'm a-gonna burst with joy.
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328. Well, it ain't the...
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329. Well, it ain't the treasure,
it's the quest.
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330. That's the lesson of this movie.
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331. I say, I say!
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332. Bravo, bravo!
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333. Oh, I demand a sequel.
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334. I don't get it.
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335. Shut up and clap.
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336. Looks like we only sold 6 tickets.
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337. 6 tickets we wouldn't have sold if
we hadn't have made that movie.
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338. I call it my proudest achievement!
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339. Well, if we're being honest,
I didn't pay for mine.
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340. That, boy, is one of a kind.
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341. Gah.
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342. Ahh!
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343. Beep beep.
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344. Beep beep.
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345. It's just about
appreciating the journey.
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346. It's about valuing
experiences over things.
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347. What don't you get?
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348. Well, for starters,
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349. why is a duck playing a rooster?
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350. And then the same duck plays me?
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351. That don't make no sense.
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352. And am I the only one
that found all that fighting gratuitous?
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