1. Captioning made possible by
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2. Inside this cage
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3. Is the most ferocious
animal on the planet.
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4. If it gets out,
don't bother
calling for help.
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5. You won't have time.
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6. So if you value your life,
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7. You'll keep
the cage locked.
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8. Never remove this lock.
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9. Any questions?
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10. Nope!
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11. Hey, mister,
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12. You forgot your lock!
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13. sleep well?
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14. Why?
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15. Are you implying
that I wet the bed?
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16. Uh, you get the paper,
I'm gonna get coffee.
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17. Are you implying
that I don't know
how to make coffee?
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18. You don't know
how to make coffee.
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19. Hmphh.
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20. Another boring day
in the suburbs.
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21. Didn't you get the paper?
Do you know how
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22. To do anything
around here?
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23. Don't open that! There's
a wild animal out there!
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24. It's a dog!
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25. That is no dog!
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26. It's a dog.
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27. aw.
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28. Are you lost, poochie?
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29. Maybe he belongs
to one of our neighbors.
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30. He's a wild animal.
He can't possibly belong
to one of our neighbors.
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31. Well, then maybe
we should keep him.
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32. But what if he belongs
to one of our neighbors?
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33. Ooh, hello.
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34. We're sorry to bother you,
but did you lose a pet?
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35. Lose a bet?
Oh, I don't gamble.
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36. I mean, I'll buy
a lottery ticket
now and then.
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37. No, no, not a bet. A pet.
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38. We found this dog.
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39. Oh, you found my clog.
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40. Oh, thank goodness.
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41. I've been looking
everywhere for it.
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42. Oh, brother.
Forget the clog.
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43. What she really needs
is a hearing aid.
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44. Cheering maid?
What's a cheering maid?
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45. You know,
a cheering maid.
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46. It's basically
a cheerleader who
cleans your house,
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47. They'll do the splits
to wax the floors,
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48. They use their
pleated skirts
to clean the blinds.
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49. Not only
do they do windows,
they do w-I-n—
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50. I thought I saw
a tasmanian devil!
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51. Nice try, bird.
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52. I did!
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53. I did see
a tasmanian devil!
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54. Yeoww!
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55. Ooh, whoa!
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56. Whoa!
Come on, lady!
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57. Cheering maids!
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58. They have names like
cindy, margie, britney,
molly and britney.
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59. With their toothy little
smile and feather duster.
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60. What don't you understand?
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61. They're real energetic,
their pom poms are
a set of sponges,
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62. Wait! Why are we
still talking about
cheering maids?
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63. Is this your dog
or not?
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64. Do I do the fox trot?
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65. Oh, why, yes, of course!
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66. Oh, yes!
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67. You know what?
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68. Let's just keep
the mangy beast,
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69. Because I can't
take another
second of this.
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70. You hear that, boy?
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71. You got a new home.
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72. Aah! Not
my recliner!
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73. Aww. He must be hungry.
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74. You stay here and keep
an eye on poochie
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75. While I go get him
some dog food.
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76. Say, now that
I think about it,
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77. He's going to need
a dog bowl, too.
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78. And a dog collar,
and a dog leash,
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79. And a dog bed.
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80. Oh, maybe
a little dog sweater.
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81. All right,
you filthy beast.
Drop it!
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82. mother!
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83. Easy, boy. Easy.
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84. Sorry if the filthy
beast remark came off
as a little harsh.
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85. I meant it as a compliment.
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86. You know, like,
"look at that filthy beast!
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87. I like to party
with that guy!"
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88. Oh, come on.
You don't want
to hurt me.
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89. I'm a sweet guy.
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90. Not sweet
as in delicious.
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91. Just sweet as in
my personality.
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92. everyone
who knows me says
I'm extremely tender.
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93. Ah, I mean, you know,
tender and nice.
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94. Not like my meat
is tender.
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95. Although duck meat
is one of your more
tender meats.
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96. Oh, no!
I've said too much!
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97. Yeoww!
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98. Ahhh!
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99. Animal control,
there's a monster
in my house
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100. That's trying
to kill me!
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101. What are you doing out here?
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102. You're supposed to be
watching poochie.
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103. Poochie is
a psychotic monster!
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104. He hunted me
like I was his prey!
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105. If you don't want
to watch the dog,
just say so.
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106. You can't go in there.
It's a death sentence.
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107. We gotta sell the house,
start out new!
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108. This neighborhood's
a bummer anyway!
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109. Wait!
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110. Since this is the last time
I'm ever going to see you alive,
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111. There's a few things
I need to tell you.
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112. Remember that time someone
ate all your Halloween candy
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113. And I said it must
have been aliens?
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114. It was me.
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115. And remember that time
someone ordered all those
pay per view movies
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116. And I said it was aliens?
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117. That was me, too.
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118. And remember that time
you were abducted by aliens
and I insisted it was me?
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119. I lied. It was aliens.
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120. Poochie, I'm home—
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121. A gruesome tragedy's
going to make it
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122. A lot harder
to sell this house.
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123. Ah! My glamour shot!
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124. Ah! My tennis trophy!
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125. Ah! My glamour shot
of my tennis trophy!
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126. No!
Hey!
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127. What's going on out
here? We're trying
to celebrate
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128. My niece's
quinceañera.
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129. It's a special day
and you're ruining it.
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130. Now, please,
señor bunny,
keep it down.
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131. What is that thing?
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132. He's my dog.
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133. Woof. If you say so.
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134. But that's one ugly dog.
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135. How did you do that?
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136. I simply asserted
my place as the alpha dog.
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137. Sit. See? He's calm,
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138. Because now he knows
I am not afraid of him.
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139. Down. Roll over.
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140. You see?
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141. You need to be
the alpha dog to him.
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142. Alpha dog, huh?
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143. One disclaimer—
this stuff
works on dogs.
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144. And...
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145. I'm still not convinced
that that's a dog.
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146. What is wrong
with everyone?
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147. He's obviously a dog.
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148. Tchh.
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149. Good boy.
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150. Oh, a dog salon.
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151. You've been such
a good boy today.
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152. You deserve
a little pampering.
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153. Have you seen this animal?
He's very dangerous.
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154. If you see him,
call the zoo immediately.
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155. How may I help you?
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156. We'll take the puppy
pamper package, please.
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157. We're very busy.
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158. The worstminster dog show
is tonight. As you can see,
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159. Every dog who's any dog
is here getting ready.
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160. In that case,
maybe I should
enter my dog.
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161. Well, if you're competing,
I can certainly squeeze you in—
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162. Oh, my! What is that?
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163. That's my dog.
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164. Sir, I hate to be
the bearer of obvious news,
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165. But that is not a dog.
Hmm?
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166. What did you just say?
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167. I said that thing
is not a dog.
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168. Hmm?
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169. For your information,
that is a dog.
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170. He may not be
the prettiest dog.
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171. He may not be
the most refined dog.
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172. But my dog has something
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173. That no other dog
in here has.
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174. And that is class.
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175. And I'll prove it
to you. Because
my dog's going to win
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176. The worstminster
dog show.
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177. And by the way,
your salon is a dump.
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178. Come on, poochie.
You want to win
a trophy?
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179. Oh, what
a cute doggie.
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180. Let me get
a good look
at you.
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181. I've never seen
such a cute dog.
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182. What a good boy.
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183. Well, I can't think
of anything else
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184. To tell you.
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185. Have a good day!
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186. Oh, the excitement
is palpable here
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187. At the worstminster
dog show.
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188. Pray tell,
who do you think
is going to win?
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189. I think that one.
Oh, no, maybe that one.
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190. Oh, no, wait,
I didn't see that one.
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191. Oh, you do know
there can only be
one winner, right?
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192. Well, I guess that's why
the excitement is so palpable!
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193. oh, dear.
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194. I'm here for
my mani-pedi.
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195. Sir, I've told you before—
this is a salon for dogs.
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196. Fine! I wouldn't be
caught dead
in here anyway.
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197. Your salon is a dump.
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198. It's not our fault!
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199. Some rabbit came in here
with a wild beast
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200. Claiming he was
going to enter him in
the worstminster dog show.
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201. Bugs.
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202. And people say
I'm the crazy one.
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203. What a joke.
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204. I have a better chance
at winning a dog show
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205. Then that thing.
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206. Tasmanian devil? Danger?
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207. Savage killer?
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208. I've got to warn bugs!
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209. guitar lessons?
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210. Ahh!
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211. In your mcdonald's happy meal.
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212. I gotta warn bugs!
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213. I'm coming
to save you, bugs!
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214. Ooh, hoo-hoo, oooh, oooh!
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215. Hey, souvenirs!
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216. Announcer on p.A.:
Up next,
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217. Bugs bunny and his dog poochie.
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218. I'm coming
to save you, bugs!
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219. Bugs!
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220. Bugs, look!
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221. You want me to take
guitar lessons?
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222. Not that! This.
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223. Poochie's not a dog!
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224. He's a tasmanian devil!
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225. What's
a tasmanian devil?
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226. A wild beast whose
insatiable hunger
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227. For violence
and destruction,
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228. Combined with his sharp
teeth and claws
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229. Make him the perfect
killing machine!
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230. Killing machine!
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231. Killing machine!
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232. Bugs bunny: Poochie!
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233. Poochie!
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234. Aaah! Over there!
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235. Run for your life!
Panic!
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236. Every man for himself!
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237. Women and children last!
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238. Aha! He's under here!
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239. What are you doing?
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240. Saving your life.
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241. My life isn't in danger,
but now his is.
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242. But he's a wild animal.
He's a monster!
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243. Have you ever heard
the expression
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244. "don't judge a book
by it's cover"?
No.
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245. What about, "it's what's
inside that counts."
uh-uh.
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246. "looks can be deceiving".
Doesn't ring a bell.
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247. What's wrong with you?
Oh! That one I've heard.
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248. The point is,
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249. He may be
a tasmanian devil,
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250. But he's also
the best dog
I've ever had.
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251. Seal all the exits!
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252. I've gotta get him
out of here, but how?
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253. Put this on.
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254. Thanks, doc.
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255. Don't mention it.
I mean, I will.
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256. Whenever it benefits me.
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257. I'm a tasmanian devil!
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258. There he is,
get him!
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259. Aahhh!
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260. Police officer:
Freeze!
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261. There's a dangerous
animal in there.
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262. You make sure
you get him home safe.
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263. That's exactly what
I plan on doing.
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264. Well, poochie,
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265. I guess this is it.
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266. I wish I could
keep you,
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267. But this is where
you belong.
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268. So long, buddy.
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269. Shh! Go.
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270. Oooh.
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271. Hmm.
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272. Oh! Do you have a dog?
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273. I used to.
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274. Poochie?
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275. Hang on, boy.
We're going home.
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276. Uh-oh!
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277. Announcer on tv:
The call on the field
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278. Is illegal use
of the hands and—
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279. Ah-ah-ahem! Beat it!
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280. Put the ball
on the 44 yard line.
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281. Do not make me use this!
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282. Tshawww!
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283. Tchooyyy!
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284. Tchewww!
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285. I prefer the couch, anyway.
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286. Subs straight from CC
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