1. Darling, I probably
shouldn't be writing to you,
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2. but I can't get you
out of my mind.
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3. That weekend we spent in Vermont
was the most powerful
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4. experience of my life.
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5. You are the most perfect man
that was ever created,
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6. and I must have you.
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7. Uh, what are you doing?
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8. Reading a letter.
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9. That's not addressed to you.
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10. Oh, is that a crime?
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11. Yes. This is your mail.
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12. Look, here's a 20 spot if you
give me back the letter.
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13. Bribing a government official
is also a crime.
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14. And is this counterfeit money?
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15. What? You're gonna tell me
that's a crime, too?
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16. Last time I checked,
I was living in America.
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17. Ooh! Look over there!
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18. See what happens when you people
don't let me read your mail?
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19. Soon as I can make
a counterfeit passport,
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20. I'm moving to Mexico.
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21. Captioning made possible by
Warner Bros. Animation
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22. restraining order. Medical bill.
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23. Invitation to my
high school reunion.
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24. Another restraining order.
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25. What are you throwing
that out for?
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26. You can't restrain me.
I'm a free spirit.
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27. Not that, the invitation to
your high school reunion.
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28. A bunch of people
standing around
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29. talking about their babies
and their minivans?
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30. Huh. Sounds thrilling.
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31. You should be excited
to go to your reunion.
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32. You always said high school was
the greatest time of your life.
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33. Hmm, that's true.
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34. High school was epic.
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35. I remember it like it
was yesterday.
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36. There were 3 seconds left,
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37. and everyone knew I was
taking the last shot.
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38. Hi, I'm p-p-porky pig.
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39. Yeah, that's great.
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40. I'm daffy duck,
the guy who didn't ask.
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41. Now beat it!
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42. Now, where was I? Oh, right.
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43. So I get the ball.
The clock starts ticking.
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44. 3, 2... Nothing but net.
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45. Daffy duck gets
all the pretty girls.
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46. Is this seat taken?
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47. No, it's right there.
You're looking right at it.
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48. Greetings.
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49. I'm Marvin the foreign
exchange student.
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50. Oh. Where are you from?
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51. Mars.
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52. Well, ladies, I'd better
get to class.
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53. Those straight "a" s aren't
going to make themselves.
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54. Hi, daffy.
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55. Well, aren't you sweet?
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56. In fact, the only thing
sweeter than you
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57. is that cake over there.
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58. Hey, cake for the lady!
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59. You know what?
Cake for everybody!
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60. It's on me.
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61. Are you nerds enjoying the cake?
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62. It's stupendous.
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63. Yum!
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64. Is that really on you?
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65. No, it's on you!
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66. Daffy Duck! Daffy Duck!
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67. Daffy Duck! Daffy Duck!
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68. Yech, I bet porky's
not going to the reunion.
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69. But you were
the big man on campus.
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70. Why wouldn't you want to go?
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71. Look at my life now.
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72. I live in a dump. No offense.
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73. I have a stupid roommate.
No offense.
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74. And I've piled up tons of
credit card debt. No offense.
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75. Why would I take offense
to that?
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76. Because I used your credit car.
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77. The point is I peaked
in high school!
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78. At least you got to go
to high school.
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79. You didn't go to high school?
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80. Let's just say my youth
was unconventional.
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81. What was so unconventional
about your youth?
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82. It's not important.
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83. My unconventional, incomparable,
inimitable youth
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84. is not important.
What is important
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85. is that you attend this reunion.
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86. Why do you want me to go
to my reunion so bad?
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87. Because you can. Don't you see?
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88. You have the opportunity to do
something I can only dream of:
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89. Stand around with people
you barely remember,
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90. reminiscing about the big game,
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91. senior prom, homework!
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92. You're weird.
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93. All right, the reunion's
on Saturday,
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94. which means you have a whole week
to make something out of your life.
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95. I can't make something
of my life in 5 days.
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96. You can with my help,
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97. and a week is 7 days.
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98. 5. I'm not letting this
cut into my weekend.
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99. That's my "me time."
I'll see you on Monday morning.
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100. Eh, that's a little ambitious.
Monday afternoon.
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101. You know what? Nothing ever
gets done on a Monday.
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102. Let's start Tuesday, noon...
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103. Ish.
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104. This is you in high school,
which I don't need to remind you
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105. I never got to go to.
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106. And this is you now.
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107. There's only 4 days
until your reunion.
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108. A reunion that I would love
to attend, by the way.
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109. So we don't have much time
to get you from here to here.
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110. How do we do it?
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111. Hmm, let me think.
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112. You've got to do something
special, something admirable,
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113. something heroic.
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114. Like destroy the earth!
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115. More like, I don't know,
climb mount Everest?
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116. That's it!
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117. Everyone at the reunion would
hail the conquering hero!
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118. You know what? I can't
climb mount Everest
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119. because I don't have
a winter jacket.
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120. - You could buy.
- Nope.
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121. - You could borrow.
- Nope.
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122. I can't climb mount Everest
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123. because I don't have
a winter jacket.
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124. Shame. Well, I think
that was a good day one.
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125. Same time tomorrow?
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126. Probably not tomorrow.
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127. I'm pretty blown out.
Let's shoot for Thursday.
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128. You know what?
I have a thing on Thursday.
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129. Friday, I swear.
See you Saturday!
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130. So when's this reunion again?
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131. It's tonight.
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132. What? What have you been
doing this whole time?
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133. I guess I'm not going
to my reunion.
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134. We've got to go!
I mean you've got to go.
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135. And there's still
something you can do
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136. to impress everyone
at the reunion.
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137. And it's not destroy the earth.
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138. Then what is it?
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139. I'm ruining my manicure.
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140. Give me your quarter.
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141. I'm starting to think the odds of
winning the lottery are pretty low.
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142. Three sixes?
Three sixes!
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143. I won! I won the lottery!
I'm rich!
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144. We can go to your reunion!
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145. I mean you can go
to your reunion.
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146. I'm so happy for you!
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147. Happy and jealous!
Mostly jealous!
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148. Ha ha! I'm rich! I'm rich!
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149. I knew I didn't peak
in high school!
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150. Daffy, you didn't get
three sixes.
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151. You were holding it upside-down.
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152. You got three nines.
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153. Besides, you were playing
lucky eights.
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154. This is hopeless.
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155. Excuse me. Do you have
a quarter for the parking meter?
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156. No.
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157. But you're holding a quarter.
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158. What, this?
This isn't a quarter.
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159. That's not a quarter?
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160. No. This is a fake.
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161. I'm agent Jimmy glass,
and this is agent ira buttles,
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162. and we're with
the treasury department.
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163. We're investigating a highly illegal
counterfeit operation in the area.
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164. I'm gonna need to see
your wallet.
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165. Oh! Uh, of course.
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166. Yep, this one looks
a little iffy.
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167. Gonna have to run some tests.
Now get out of here.
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168. But keep your eyes
and ears open!
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169. That's it! I thought
in order to go to the reunion,
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170. you needed to be someone
you're not: A success.
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171. But it turns out
you should just go
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172. as someone you
already are: A liar.
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173. You want me to go to the reunion
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174. and just lie about
how successful I am?
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175. That's a horrible idea!
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176. I'm lying. It's a great idea.
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177. Or was that a lie?
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178. This lying could get
out of control.
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179. Or is that a lie?
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180. The lying is in control!
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181. Oh, brudder.
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182. Well, after high school,
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183. I just had to
get away from it all,
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184. The land.
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185. I've got about 30,000 acres
in Montana.
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186. Probably about 50,000
head of cattle.
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187. That's about 2 heads
of cattle per acre. Yeah.
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188. I love a cattle drive.
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189. Too much spitting.
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190. I signed up after graduation.
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191. I heard the call of duty,
and I answered.
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192. Oh, this?
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193. What you call heroism,
I call duty.
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194. Believe me, when you're
doing your duty,
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195. you don't think about the fact
that you're doing your duty.
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196. It's your duty. You just do it.
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197. You do your duty.
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198. Too much saying the word "duty."
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199. I'm Batman.
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200. So what lie did you settle on?
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201. One lie is too limiting.
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202. It's gonna be a big reunion.
I can tell a lot of lies.
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203. That couldn't possibly backfire.
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204. What are you saying?
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205. Well, if I were you,
I'd bring someone along
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206. to help you keep track
of all those lies.
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207. But who would want to go
to someone else's reunion?
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208. Me! I want to go
to your reunion!
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209. You? Then why didn't you
say something earlier?
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210. Just stay close.
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211. The lies are about
to get complicated.
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212. Name?
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213. Count Leopold Von lichtenstein.
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214. How do you spell that?
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215. Bob Jones.
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216. Well, which one is it?
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217. Uh, both!
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218. Eh, maybe ease into the lies.
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219. This is him.
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220. Whew, that was close.
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221. Promise me you won't leave
my side the rest of the night.
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222. I promise.
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223. Are those lockers?
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224. Bugs! Bugs!
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225. bugs! Bugs!
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226. Remember me? We were
in homeroom together.
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227. Oh, hey, Tanya.
Long time no see.
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228. Whatcha been up to?
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229. Me? Oh, I, uh... uh...
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230. are you married?
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231. Married? Uh, yes,
happily married.
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232. Very happily married,
to a model.
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233. Wow. Any kids?
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234. Two kids. Boy and a girl.
Tegan and Cassidy.
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235. Also models.
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236. Gee. Well, it's great
to see you.
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237. It's great to see you, Tanya!
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238. What was I so worried about?
I don't need bugs.
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239. Heh heh! Elliot howser.
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240. Oh, Heidi gardner.
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241. Heh heh! Jimmy banket.
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242. Friends of yours?
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243. Oh, I don't know
any of these people.
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244. Andy Friedman.
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245. Did you hear that daffy duck won
a bronze medal at the Olympics?
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246. I'm supposed to be
keeping track of daffy's lies!
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247. And instead, I've been standing
around drinking punch.
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248. Well, I'm now the head of a very
profitable non-profit organization.
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249. I used to be a pro surfer,
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250. but after the shark attack,
I had an epiphany
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251. and decided to dedicate my life
to the betterment of society.
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252. And I'm also a model.
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253. Sorry, Daff. Ok, what lies
have you told so far?
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254. Bugs, relax.
I've got this under control.
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255. Really?
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256. Easy breezy.
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257. It's like stealing babies
from a candy store.
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258. Go enjoy the reunion.
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259. I don't know. I think you
might need my...
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260. Is that somebody else's
old algebra teacher?
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261. Pete! Marvin!
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262. What have you guys been up to?
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263. Ohh. High school was
a horrible time for me.
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264. Therefore, I have spent every
moment since graduation
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265. plotting to destroy the earth.
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266. Heh. I hope you have better
luck with that than I did.
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267. What about you, Pete?
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268. Oh, I'm still waiting
to graduate.
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269. What about you?
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270. I'm the starting quarterback
for the Dallas cowboys.
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271. I thought you said you owned
the Dallas cowboys.
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272. Oh, uh, yeah.
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273. That's... uh, I...
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274. well, which is it?
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275. Uh... Uh...
Ooh, look over there!
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276. Bugs!
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277. Hi. I've heard you've become
a famous movie star.
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278. Can I have your autograph?
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279. Oh, uh, sure.
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280. I've never had my picture
taken with an astronaut before.
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281. Do you mind?
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282. You're an astronaut, too?
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283. Well, uh, before I was
a movie star, I was...
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284. Batman, come quick! There's
a break-in at the museum!
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285. - Batman?
- Batman?
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286. Wait, are you saying this man,
the president of Mexico,
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287. is Batman?
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288. He's so cute.
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289. I don't remember him
from high school.
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290. Bugs,
wh-what are you doing here?
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291. I'm here with daffy.
What are you doing here?
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292. From the story I heard,
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293. high school was pretty
rough for you.
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294. Rough? Ha ha ha ha!
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295. High school was the greatest
time in my life.
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296. I'm surprised daffy came.
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297. Huh?
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298. Porky!
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299. Hey!
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300. Excuse me, but do you
remember daffy duck?
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301. Who?
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302. Daffy duck. Come on,
you gotta remember him.
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303. He was the coolest guy
at your high school.
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304. Daffy duck. You know,
black feathers, big beak,
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305. about this tall.
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306. Oh! You mean daffy dork.
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307. Ew, that guy was such a nerd!
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308. I've been looking
all over for you!
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309. My web of lies has entangled
me in a web of lies.
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310. In high school, were you
ever called daffy dork?
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311. Daffy dork?
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312. Why would anyone call the coolest
guy in high school daffy d...
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313. There were 3 seconds left,
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314. and everyone knew I was
taking the last shot.
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315. Hi, I'm daffy duck.
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316. Yeah, that's great.
I'm the guy who didn't ask.
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317. Now beat it.
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318. Is this seat taken?
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319. Cake for everybody! It's on me!
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320. Hey, nerd, are you
enjoying the cake?
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321. It's delicious.
Is it really on you?
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322. No, it's on you.
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323. Daffy dork! Daffy dork!
Daffy dork!
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324. So this means I wasn't
the big man on campus.
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325. I was the big dork on campus!
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326. Wow, I really am a liar.
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327. And the greatest lie I ever told
was to myself.
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328. Wait! Don't you see?
This is good news.
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329. You'd thought you'd gone
from here to here,
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330. but it turns out
you never went anywhere.
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331. What's good about that?
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332. It means you haven't peaked yet.
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333. You're right.
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334. You hear that, you losers?
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335. I didn't peak in high school!
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336. But you did! And you did!
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337. And you certainly did!
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338. Daffy, I've apologized
a thousand times.
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339. And you! You used to be
the prettiest girl in school,
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340. and now you're...
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341. Well, you're still
very beautiful.
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342. The point is you all
peaked too soon.
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343. Except for you. So long, jerks!
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344. I'm off, and unlike you,
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345. I have nowhere to go but up.
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346. Aah!
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347. Daffy dork! Daffy dork!
Daffy dork!
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348. Daffy dork! Daffy dork!
It's got a ring to it.
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349. Daffy dork! Daffy dork!
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350. Beep! Beep!
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351. Beep! Beep!
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352. I may have missed out
on high school,
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353. but I got to go to one heck
of a high school reunion.
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354. Oh! Home movies from
my unconventional youth.
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355. I haven't seen these in a while.
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356. You were
the president of Mexico?
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357. Eh, interim.
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358. You did all that instead
of going to high school?
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359. Do you know what this means?
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360. You peaked too soon!
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361. Meh, I don't think I peaked
quite yet.
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362. Captioning made possible by
Warner Bros. Animation
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363. Captioned by the national captioning
institute. Www.Ncicap.Org...
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364. Th-th-that's all, folks!
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