1. - Height.
- Uh, 3'6".Copy !req
2. We'll put 6'3".Copy !req
3. - Weight.
- I don't know.Copy !req
4. I-it fluctuates.Copy !req
5. Uh, 80? 100?Copy !req
6. You're 6'3".
We'll put 185.Copy !req
7. - Uh, are you sure about this?
- Trust me.Copy !req
8. I'm an expert at online dating.Copy !req
9. Eh, but-but what's gonna happenCopy !req
10. when I finally meet
one of these women?Copy !req
11. Eh, won't they be disappointed?Copy !req
12. Any woman that goes out
with Porky PigCopy !req
13. is gonna be disappointed,
no matter what.Copy !req
14. Which brings us to your name.Copy !req
15. We can keep Pig or Porky.Copy !req
16. But we can't keep both.Copy !req
17. Eh, k-keep Porky.Copy !req
18. - Eh-eh, keep Pig?
- You know what?Copy !req
19. Let's dump 'em both. Your name's
Lorenzo Vilagairirosa.Copy !req
20. 'There. You're done.'Copy !req
21. Eh, but what about my picture?Copy !req
22. Eh, but-but
you can hardly see me!Copy !req
23. Precisely, Lorenzo.Copy !req
24. I-it's been over an hour, and
no one's clicked on my profile!Copy !req
25. I knew we shouldn't have
included a picture.Copy !req
26. What's up, doc?Copy !req
27. Daffy set me upCopy !req
28. on a d-dating website.Copy !req
29. Did you ever think to come to me
for this kind of thing?Copy !req
30. Eh, it d-doesn't matter, anyway.Copy !req
31. N-no one's interested.Copy !req
32. Uh, Porky?
I think someone's interested.Copy !req
33. "Hello. I l-like
your profile."Copy !req
34. Wow!Copy !req
35. - Eh, t-thanks for your...
- What are you doing?Copy !req
36. Don't write her back until
you know what she looks like!Copy !req
37. Granny?Copy !req
38. Granny's on a dating website?Copy !req
39. - That is so sad!
- Uh, I'm on a dating website!Copy !req
40. - She must be lonely.
- Uh, I'm lonely.Copy !req
41. Yeah, but she lives in
a big house all by herself!Copy !req
42. Uh, I live in a big house
all by myself!Copy !req
43. Uh-h, at least
she has pets. Huh?Copy !req
44. Em, m-maybe I should get a pet.Copy !req
45. What? Pets are for people
who have no hopeCopy !req
46. of finding another adult
who will love them.Copy !req
47. Huh. Now that I put it that wayCopy !req
48. you should definitely get a pet.Copy !req
49. My computer.Copy !req
50. And Lorenzo seemed like
such a nice man.Copy !req
51. I can't just spend all my timeCopy !req
52. with a cat and a bird!Copy !req
53. Oh, Sylvester!Copy !req
54. 'Stop chasing Tweety Bird!'Copy !req
55. If you need something to doCopy !req
56. why don't you play with one
of those cat toys I bought you?Copy !req
57. Look, Sylvester. It's a mouse!Copy !req
58. You're kidding me, right?
I can see the string.Copy !req
59. Ooh. What about this one?Copy !req
60. thwip thwipCopy !req
61. And this is fun, because?Copy !req
62. Let's see what else I have here.Copy !req
63. A pen? Ooh!Copy !req
64. Are we going to
balance your checkbook? Fun.Copy !req
65. wheeCopy !req
66. Where did it go?Copy !req
67. Now it's over there!Copy !req
68. How-how did it get over there?Copy !req
69. whee wheeCopy !req
70. It's like a bird, a mouse,
and a can of tunaCopy !req
71. all mixed up
into a perfect red dot!Copy !req
72. A-ha! Gotcha!Copy !req
73. You're mine. All mine!Copy !req
74. I'm never gonna let you go!Copy !req
75. 'What the..'Copy !req
76. Remind me again
why we're doing this.Copy !req
77. Because she's a little old lady,
with no one to keep her companyCopy !req
78. but a cat and a bird.Copy !req
79. So now she's gonna hang outCopy !req
80. with a duck and a rabbit?Copy !req
81. Seems like a lateral move.Copy !req
82. We're her neighbors!
It's the right thing to do.Copy !req
83. - Oh, hello.
- Blah, blah, blah, alright.Copy !req
84. Knock off the pleasantries,
grandma.Copy !req
85. We know you're lonely,
so let's goCopy !req
86. do something
and get it over with!Copy !req
87. Hmmm. Spending time
with a rabbit and a duck?Copy !req
88. Instead of a cat and a bird.Copy !req
89. - Oh, seems like a lateral move.
- Huh?Copy !req
90. Oh, I mean,
I'd love some company!Copy !req
91. I was just about to go sailing!Copy !req
92. Sailing? You sail?Copy !req
93. Every weekend.Copy !req
94. Sailing!
This is gonna be fun!Copy !req
95. Little air back here?Copy !req
96. crashCopy !req
97. Oh, my!Copy !req
98. crashCopy !req
99. Oh, little red dot!Copy !req
100. Where are you?Copy !req
101. squeakCopy !req
102. Hmm.Copy !req
103. Ahh.Copy !req
104. Ahh.Copy !req
105. crashCopy !req
106. Hmm. Where is that red dot?Copy !req
107. Where is that yellow bird?Copy !req
108. Take that, you nasty old zombie!Copy !req
109. Aw. He got me.Copy !req
110. That makes two of us!Copy !req
111. Before you eat meCopy !req
112. will you grant me
one last request?Copy !req
113. I suppose so.Copy !req
114. After all, I'm an animal,
not a monster.Copy !req
115. Will you hand me that?Copy !req
116. What? This pen?Copy !req
117. What are you gonna d?Copy !req
118. Write out your last will
and testament?Copy !req
119. wheeCopy !req
120. Oh! My red dot is back!Copy !req
121. Come on, go get it!Copy !req
122. crashCopy !req
123. Ooh, it's over there, putty cat!Copy !req
124. Oops. I was wrong.
It's over there!Copy !req
125. bangCopy !req
126. thudCopy !req
127. Oh! Much improved.Copy !req
128. I don't even want it,
but I gotta have it!Copy !req
129. Uh, I don't even know
what it is!Copy !req
130. But I need it!Copy !req
131. - Huh?
- Yoo-hoo!Copy !req
132. Mother.Copy !req
133. Whoa!Copy !req
134. What's wrong with me?Copy !req
135. I can't do anything
but think about that red dot!Copy !req
136. Aah!Copy !req
137. Aah! Aa-a-ah!Copy !req
138. Oh, look! A kitty!Copy !req
139. Aah!Copy !req
140. I need help!Copy !req
141. thudCopy !req
142. How fortuitous!
How serendipitous!Copy !req
143. How propitious!Copy !req
144. Best class I ever took.Copy !req
145. Great day in the morning.Copy !req
146. I'm gonna be sick,
and I'm not even on a boat yet!Copy !req
147. clinkCopy !req
148. We're here. Let's start sailing!Copy !req
149. Where's the ocean?Copy !req
150. Yard sale-ing!Copy !req
151. We should have just let
Porky go out with her.Copy !req
152. chirp chirpCopy !req
153. Ahem.Copy !req
154. squeakCopy !req
155. Ahem.Copy !req
156. You Sylvester?
Okay, right this way, baby.Copy !req
157. Uh... good luck!Copy !req
158. You know, with, uh..Copy !req
159. Whatever you're goin' through.Copy !req
160. 'Hey, Pinky.
Can I tell you something?'Copy !req
161. Creepy!Copy !req
162. Too many!Copy !req
163. Groove with me!Copy !req
164. Hey, Porky. Sorry we're late.Copy !req
165. muahCopy !req
166. Or maybe just keep doing
what you're doing.Copy !req
167. Old people are the worst.Copy !req
168. All they do is sit aroundCopy !req
169. watch TV and eat gross food.Copy !req
170. Are you eating porridge?Copy !req
171. It's easier on my soft teeth.Copy !req
172. creakCopy !req
173. Poor granny. She needs
some excitement in her life.Copy !req
174. - Come on, Daffy.
- Ugh!Copy !req
175. Fine.Copy !req
176. Uh-oh! My hip!Copy !req
177. splashCopy !req
178. thudCopy !req
179. crashCopy !req
180. You see, your conscious mind
is fixated on the red dot.Copy !req
181. Now let's see what's goin'
on
in your unconscious mind.Copy !req
182. You're gettin' very sleepy.Copy !req
183. When I snap my fingers,
you're gonna be all hypnotized.Copy !req
184. This'll never work!Copy !req
185. snapCopy !req
186. I want you to imagine
yourself at home.Copy !req
187. You're in your happy place.Copy !req
188. 'Tell me about your childhood.'Copy !req
189. - 'Alan?'
- Yes?Copy !req
190. - 'Sylvester?'
- Yes?Copy !req
191. 'Supper.'Copy !req
192. - Supper!
- Supper!Copy !req
193. Mother!Copy !req
194. Mother! Mother!Copy !req
195. Mother!Copy !req
196. muahCopy !req
197. Mm?Copy !req
198. It's okay, baby.
You figured it out!Copy !req
199. It's not the red dot
that you want, it's your
mama!Copy !req
200. I haven't seen here
since she retired to Florida!Copy !req
201. Well, you need to
go see her, honey!Copy !req
202. How am I gonna get there?Copy !req
203. Child, I'm not a witch
for nothin'!Copy !req
204. Florida, Florida, Florida!Copy !req
205. Mm-mm-mm.Copy !req
206. I have got to start askin'
for payment upfront.Copy !req
207. zingCopy !req
208. Ah! Sunny Florida!Copy !req
209. Now which one of these
condos belongs to my..Copy !req
210. Mother?Copy !req
211. Who knew living across the
street from a lonely old
womanCopy !req
212. could be so much fun?Copy !req
213. What do you think
we should do with granny today?Copy !req
214. Deep sea fishing or heart yoga.Copy !req
215. I was thinking about some
old-fashion tackle football!Copy !req
216. Ooh!Copy !req
217. Oh, you two.Copy !req
218. Are you ready
for another day of sun?Copy !req
219. - Mm? Mm?
- Hmm.Copy !req
220. Oh, I'm afraid
I have other plans.Copy !req
221. Other plans?
We're your only friends!Copy !req
222. Oh, well, it's time for my nap.Copy !req
223. Your nap? You go to bed
at 4:30 in the afternoon!Copy !req
224. Get your jockstrap, granny!
We're playin' football.Copy !req
225. Are you two trying to kill me?Copy !req
226. - What?
- What?Copy !req
227. Listen, I'm a 90-year-old woman.Copy !req
228. I shouldn't be in a kayak.Copy !req
229. Well, what do you wanna do?
And don't say sailing.Copy !req
230. Oh, I think I'd like to
just lie on a beach
somewhere.Copy !req
231. Great, let's do it!Copy !req
232. Look, you two are very sweet.Copy !req
233. But you're also exhausting.Copy !req
234. Heart yoga?Copy !req
235. click clickCopy !req
236. Oh! Sylvester!Copy !req
237. So you do know where I live.Copy !req
238. That's interesting,
considering you never visit me!Copy !req
239. - Oh, um, I..
- Close the door!Copy !req
240. What, do you want me to
air condition all of Florida?Copy !req
241. Sorry.Copy !req
242. Oh! That's my Alan now.Copy !req
243. Sylvester!
What a surprise!Copy !req
244. How long you in town?Copy !req
245. As long as mother will have me.Copy !req
246. Well, I wish you would've calledCopy !req
247. because I have bridge at 11:00,
water aerobics at noonCopy !req
248. and then Estelle
and I walk the mall.Copy !req
249. Yeesh. And I thought
Tweety's voice was annoying.Copy !req
250. Don't you see, baby?
It's a textbook case of denial.Copy !req
251. Huh?Copy !req
252. You want Sylvester to chase you.Copy !req
253. I do? I do!Copy !req
254. Well, then,
what are you waitin' for?Copy !req
255. 'Florida, Florida, Florida!'Copy !req
256. Mm-mm-mm.
I done it again!Copy !req
257. Isn't that that little
yellow bird you used to chase?Copy !req
258. You still haven't caught him?Copy !req
259. He's smarter than he looks.Copy !req
260. Maybe if you'd spent a little
less time chasing that birdCopy !req
261. you'd have made something
of yourself by now.Copy !req
262. Why aren't you married?Copy !req
263. Where are my grandcats?Copy !req
264. And what's with your teeth?Copy !req
265. They're all mangled!Copy !req
266. You don't wear
the retainer, do you?Copy !req
267. Wow. Listen to her go.Copy !req
268. What I wouldn't give
to be back home with granny.Copy !req
269. Chasing that red dot.Copy !req
270. The retainer cost
a pretty penny.Copy !req
271. And all the dentist said was,
"If he wears the retainerCopy !req
272. 'he'll have perfect teeth."'Copy !req
273. And did you wear the retainer?Copy !req
274. Who needs a red dot
when I've got a yellow bird?Copy !req
275. Now, if you'll excuse meCopy !req
276. it's time for me to go home.Copy !req
277. Ah. This is much better.Copy !req
278. Although it feels like
something's missing.Copy !req
279. thudCopy !req
280. - Oh! Sylvester?
- Granny?Copy !req
281. Tweety!Copy !req
282. Turns out,
I like spending my timeCopy !req
283. with a cat and a bird.Copy !req
284. It's better than spending it
with the duck and the rabbit.Copy !req
285. Granny's missing out!Copy !req
286. tingCopy !req
287. meep meepCopy !req
288. bangCopy !req
289. click clickCopy !req
290. clickCopy !req
291. thudCopy !req
292. bangCopy !req
293. thudCopy !req
294. thud thudCopy !req
295. clankCopy !req
296. whooshCopy !req
297. creakCopy !req
298. thudCopy !req
299. splashCopy !req
300. meep meepCopy !req
301. 'I d-don't think
you understand.'Copy !req
302. Eh, y-you're my-my pet.Copy !req
303. Uh, I'm supposed to
g-give you food.Copy !req
304. Not b-be your food.Copy !req
305. Eh, d-do you hear me?
H-hello?Copy !req
306. Bad snake!Copy !req
307. Show's over, show's over,
show's over!Copy !req