The Looney Tunes Show 1x25

Directed by Jeff Siergey

Daffy suspects that Porky is a killer, and Bugs has to take care of Lola when she breaks her leg.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Three people. One slice.

2. Classic scenario.

3. What to do, what to do.

4. I mean, nobody wants to be the one

5. to take the last slice...

6. What?

7. Captioning made possible by Warner Bros. Animation.

8. Sync and fix by jasonnguyen2606 www.addic7ed.com.

9. I hope you saved room...

10. For the bill!

11. Let me get yours, porky.

12. I still feel bad about you losing your job.

13. Oh, no, it's ok. I got a new job. I'm doing catering.

14. Catering? Nobody wants a pig handling their food.

15. Besides, isn't that a lot of temptation?

16. I mean, your name's not "health and fitness pig".

17. It's porky pig! Am I right?

18. Couldn't you at least pretend to reach for your wallet?

19. I don't have a wallet.

20. Besides, I shouldn't have to pay. It's my birthday.

21. Your birthday's not until next week.

22. Oh-ho, we're well within the birthday zone.

23. It's Lola.

24. Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. Lola, calm down.

25. Lola, stop. I can't understand you.

26. Where are you? Where are you?

27. Ok, I'm coming.

28. I've got to go. Lola broke her leg.

29. Oh, dear. Poor Lola.

30. Don't feel bad for her. You're the one who got stuck with the bill.

31. Am I right?

32. You guys are too sensitive.

33. Oh, hey, bugs, what are you doing here?

34. You called me. You were hysterical!

35. Oh, right.

36. It's a simple fracture.

37. She'll have the cast off in about six weeks.

38. How did it happens?

39. It's crazy. I was out buying cupcakes

40. when I noticed a baby stuck on top of a building.

41. I knew I had to save that baby,

42. so I finished my cupcake and shimmied up the drain pipe,

43. when suddenly, the drain pipe

44. starting coming lose from the building!

45. And you fell and broke your leg?

46. No. I let go of the drain pipe

47. just in time and grabbed hold of the telephone wire.

48. So there I was, hanging from the wire.

49. I started swinging myself back and forth

50. until finally I flung myself as high as I could

51. hoping I would make it to the roof, but I didn't make it to the roof.

52. I was totally out of control and I went crashing through

53. a giant plate-glassed window!

54. And that's when you broke your leg?

55. No. I landed flat on my back in the middle of some girl's apartment.

56. She was super sweet. We're totally having lunch next week.

57. Anyway, I found my way to the elevator,

58. but it was out of service, so I had to pry open the doors

59. and throw myself into the elevator shaft.

60. You fell down an elevator shaft?

61. Will you please just listen?

62. I caught the elevator cables,

63. I pulled myself up hand over hand

64. until I finally reached the top,

65. where I kicked the grate open with my feet

66. and catapulted myself onto the roof.

67. But right before I could grab the baby,

68. it turned, and I realized it wasn't a baby,

69. it was a crow!

70. - And it attacked me. - What?

71. I tried to fend it off,

72. but he was one of those angry crows,

73. and no matter what I did, he kept attacking.

74. He wouldn't stop. And just kept attacking

75. and attacking until finally I lost my balance

76. and fell 15 stories.

77. And that's when you broke your leg.

78. No, I landed on an inflatable gorilla

79. - in front of a car dealership. - So how did you break your leg?

80. Oh, I was here for a check-up,

81. and I slipped getting up on this table.

82. It's really high. You should try it.

83. No, wait, don't. You'll break your leg.

84. Like me!

85. She's a keeper.

86. - What are we doing here? - I'm dropping you off.

87. Bugs isn't here. How am I supposed to get inside?

88. - Use your keys. - I don't have keys.

89. So you don't have a wallet or keys?

90. Porky, I'm a spiritual being.

91. I'm not interested in material possessions.

92. Ooh, can I have these?

93. Just take me to your house.

94. Um, uh, can't I drop you off at Tina's?

95. Tina's at work.

96. Why don't you want to take me to your house?

97. Oh, no, it's just...

98. - It's just what? - Oh, nothing, I'm...

99. You're what? What are you up to? What are you hiding?

100. Nothing.

101. Aha! You were hiding these.

102. All I'm saying is, you need to be charming

103. to do catering.

104. You're not charming.

105. Just go watch TV.

106. I've got some cooking to do.

107. Ptttt, catering.

108. You should get a job where you don't have to interact with people.

109. Maybe something with a computer

110. where people don't have to look at you.

111. 'Cause you're a creepy recluse who keeps to himself.

112. Breaking news in the case of the suburban strangler.

113. Until now, the police have had little to go on,

114. other than the assumption that the killer

115. is a creepy recluse who keeps to himself.

116. Huh, that's how I just described porky.

117. But now a witness has come forward,

118. giving police a physical description of the suspect.

119. The guy we're looking for is chubby, short and bald,

120. with a pig-like nose.

121. Chubby, short and bald,

122. with a pig-like nose?

123. If you see anyone matching this description,

124. call 911.

125. Mother.

126. What happened? Where am I?

127. I'm in porky's house.

128. Porky's the suburban strangler!

129. I've got to call 911! Ahh!

130. I don't remember the number for 911.

131. Think. Think, man.

132. I know. I'll call 411 and ask them for the number for 911.

133. Ahh! I don't know the number for 411.

134. He's filled with useless information like emergency phone numbers.

135. He cut the phone line!

136. Porky! You scared me.

137. Not that you're scary. I just didn't expect you to be standing there

138. like a psychopath. Not that you're a psychopath!

139. Are you feeling better?

140. Mm-hmm. Much better. All better, in fact.

141. I should probably be getting home.

142. I'm sure bugs is back by now.

143. Oh, ok. I'll drive you.

144. Wait, they say never let your attacker take you to a second location.

145. What?

146. If you drive me to my house,

147. you'd be taking me to a second location.

148. - So? - Nice try, chubby.

149. But you're not taking me anywhere.

150. You think I'm chubby?

151. You're not just chubby.

152. You're chubby, short and bald,

153. with a pig-like nose.

154. Aah! How rude!

155. Awfully sensitive for a wanted killer.

156. Thanks for getting all my stuff.

157. I really feel like I'm at home.

158. Remind me again why you're not at home?

159. Because you're taking care of me

160. and you live here. See? I'm doing you a favor.

161. Gee, thanks.

162. You won't even know I'm here.

163. Oh, bugs?

164. Yes?

165. I'm kind of thirsty.

166. Would you mind getting me a glass of milk?

167. - Milk. - Oh, no, wait.

168. I'm allergic to milk. How about a soda?

169. Diet soda, though. Oh, no, wait, regular soda.

170. I need the calories.

171. You know what, sorry. Soda's bad for you.

172. How about an orange juice?

173. No, wait, apple juice. No, orange juice.

174. No! Apple juice. You know what,

175. just give me the milk and we'll see what happens.

176. - What's that? - Water.

177. Oh! It's just what I wanted.

178. Ahh. I got to pee.

179. When do you get your cast off again?

180. Only six weeks.

181. Canopy bed, embroidered pillows,

182. lace curtains?

183. This is either the bedroom of an 80 year old woman

184. or a deranged killer.

185. No knives, no guns, no body parts.

186. Great day in the morning!

187. How many sunglasses does one pig need?

188. Is it possible that porky's not the suburban strangler?

189. Could it be that he just happens to be jumpy, short and bald,

190. and I'm jumping to an outlandish conclusion

191. because I'm a paranoid, hateful fear mongerer?

192. No, that's the face of a killer.

193. It's me.

194. It has to be tonight. I think he's onto me.

195. Come pick up daffy when I'm done with him.

196. He'll be in the garage. In the freezer.

197. What is all this?

198. I've got to get out of here!

199. He's locked me in!

200. Where are you going?

201. Oh! Uh, nowhere. I was just getting a little hungry.

202. Let me make you something. How about a sandwich?

203. Oh, why, thank you.

204. I would love a sandwich.

205. He's toying with me.

206. He's going to chop me up into a million pieces.

207. He's going to cook me! He's going to wear me!

208. Wait a minute. Calm down.

209. This is Porky you're talking about!

210. You've known him your whole life.

211. He wouldn't hurt a fly. He's a sweetheart!

212. Oh, no. I've got Stockholm syndrome.

213. I've fallen in love with my captor!

214. It's chopped liver.

215. Whose?

216. What?

217. You know what?

218. I just realized I'm not hungry.

219. I think I should lie back down.

220. Sorry!

221. What are you doing?

222. Oh! Is this not the bathroom?

223. My mistake. I thought this was the bathroom.

224. Do not go in there.

225. I wouldn't dream of it.

226. If you'll excuse me,

227. I have some business to attend to.

228. "I have some business to attend to."

229. That's what a killer says right before he kills!

230. Or is it, "get in the Van."

231. No, it's "I have some business to attend to."

232. That poor woman!

233. Well, at least it's over.

234. Daffy?

235. Can I help you?

236. I thought I heard you downstairs.

237. Nope. Been here the whole time.

238. Just reading the paper.

239. Yesterday's news!

240. Can I bring you some tea.

241. That sounds lovely.

242. What could be in here?

243. Bodies, torture machines?

244. Why do I want to go in there? Because I was told not to

245. and I have a problem with authority.

246. Hey, Lola. I got your Chinese food.

247. Lola?

248. - Lola! - Coming.

249. - What is that? - It's a stair lift.

250. I felt so bad that you were having to carry me up and down,

251. so I had one installed while you were gone.

252. It's top of the line, that's why it's so quiet.

253. Almost there.

254. Here I come.

255. Just a few... more... steps.

256. Oooh.

257. And...

258. Almost there.

259. Ok. Here I come.

260. There!

261. What's that?

262. Your Chinese food.

263. That's not Chinese food. Chinese food's flat and round

264. with cheese and tomato sauce and bunch of different toppings.

265. - That's called pizza. - Well, I don't know.

266. I don't speak Chinese. Thanks!

267. Oh, I think I have to pee again.

268. There we go. Now we're really moving.

269. There we go. All right, come on.

270. Here we go.

271. What are you doing in here?

272. I know what you're up to!

273. Then you leave me no choice.

274. Make it fast. I don't deserve to suffer!

275. I mean, I probably do, but I don't want to!

276. - Happy birthday. - Say what?

277. I know it's early,

278. but you said you knew my secret,

279. so I hope you like it.

280. A collage made out of assorted photos of me?

281. What on earth would possess you to make something this creepy?

282. Uh, because that's what you specifically told me you wanted for your birthday.

283. You sent me the photos.

284. So you don't want to murder me?

285. Why would I want to murder you?

286. Only a murderer would ask that question!

287. Whoa!

288. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!

289. - Eh. - Ohh!

290. - Speedy... - Speedy?

291. What did you do to Speedy?

292. Look who's got a wallet and keys now, chubby!

293. Six weeks.

294. That's a good way to kill somebody!

295. - Whoa! - Aah!

296. In your face!

297. Ohh!

298. Oh, no! I'm too late!

299. Speedy!

300. Surprise!

301. Aww, I missed it!

302. Happy early birthday, daffy!

303. Piggy was planning to throw this on your actual birthday,

304. but he called and said we'd have to do it tonight

305. because you were getting suspicious.

306. You're lucky to have such a nice friend.

307. Nice friend?

308. Or the suburban strangler!

309. The strangler? Que que?

310. I'm not the suburban strangler!

311. He trapped me in his home!

312. He locked the door so I couldn't escape!

313. What? The door wasn't locked.

314. Well, then, how come

315. I couldn't just open it, like this?

316. No. Just pull it, man. It's not that heavy.

317. Kids use it all the time, little kids!

318. It doesn't matter. What does matter

319. is that you cut the phone line so I couldn't call for help!

320. Are you talking about the phone in the guest room?

321. It's an antique!

322. It's just for decoration.

323. Then how do you explain the blood on your hands?

324. This is paint.

325. For the banner I made for your party.

326. You may have all these people fooled,

327. but I saw you murder a woman!

328. What?

329. With a chainsaw!

330. That was an ice sculpture.

331. Of you!

332. What's going on?

333. Daffy's surprise party.

334. I thought that was supposed to be next week.

335. We interrupt this program with a special alert.

336. The suburban strangler has been captured.

337. You got to admit, there's a strong resemblance.

338. Am I right?

339. If anyone's gonna murder you, it's me.

340. What's that thing?

341. Don't worry, I'm getting rid of it.

342. I got your pizza.

343. What is this?

344. I didn't know when you'd be back,

345. so I ordered Chinese food. You want some?

346. Mmm. Mmm!

347. You can really taste the kung pao. It is strong.

348. Mmm. Mmm.

349. Oh, no. You're not getting rid of this.

350. I'm never walking upstairs again.

351. Mmm.

352. Mmm.

353. Captioning made possible by Warner Bros. Animation.

354. Captioned by the national captioning institute. Www.Ncicap.Org...

355. Sync and fix by jasonnguyen2606 www.addic7ed.com.

356. I still think porky's a murderer.