1. Three people, one slice.
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2. Classic scenario.
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3. What to do? What to do?
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4. I mean, nobody wants to be
the one to take the last slice..
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5. chomp chomp
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6. Uh, w-what?
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7. I hope you saved room
for the bill!
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8. Let me get yours, Porky.
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9. I-I still feel bad
about you losing your job.
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10. Oh, no, it's okay.
I got a new job.
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11. I'm gonna do,
uh, doing catering.
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12. Catering? Nobody wants
a pig handling their food.
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13. Besides, isn't that
a lot of temptation?
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14. I mean, your name's not
Health And Fitness Pig.
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15. It's Porky Pig! Am I right?
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16. Couldn't you at least pretend
to reach for your wallet?
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17. I don't have a wallet. Besides,
I shouldn't have to pay.
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18. It's my birthday.
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19. Your birthday's
not until next week.
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20. Oh-ho, we're well within
the birthday zone.
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21. It's Lola.
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22. Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
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23. Slow down! Lola, calm down.
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24. Lola, stop.
I-I can't understand you.
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25. Where are you? Where are you?
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26. Okay, I-I'm coming.
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27. I gotta go. Lola broke her leg.
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28. Oh, dear. Yeah, p-poor Lola.
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29. Don't feel bad for her.
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30. You're the one
who got stuck with the bill.
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31. Am I right?
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32. You guys are too sensitive.
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33. Oh. Oh, hey, Bugs.
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34. - What are you doing here?
- You called me.
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35. You were hysterical!
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36. Oh, right!
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37. It's a simple fracture.
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38. She'll have the cast off
in about six weeks.
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39. - How did it happen?
- It's crazy.
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40. I was out buying cupcakes
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41. when I noticed a baby
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42. stuck on top of a building.
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43. I knew I had to save that baby
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44. so I finished my cupcake
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45. and shimmied up the drain pipe,
when suddenly
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46. the drain pipe started
coming lose from the building!
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47. And you fell
and broke your leg?
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48. No, I let go of the drain pipe
just in time
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49. and grabbed hold
of the telephone wire.
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50. So there I was,
hanging from the wire.
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51. I started swinging myself
back and forth
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52. until finally I flung myself
as high as I could
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53. hoping I would make it
to the roof
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54. but I didn't make it
to the roof.
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55. I was totally out of control
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56. and I went crashing through
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57. a giant, plate-glass window!
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58. And that's when
you broke your leg?
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59. No, I landed flat on my back
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60. in the middle
of some girl's apartment.
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61. She was super sweet. We're
totallyhaving lunch next week.
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62. Anyway, I found my way
to the elevator
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63. but it was out of service,
so I had to pry open the doors
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64. and throw myself
into the elevator shaft.
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65. You fell down
an elevator shaft?
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66. Will you please just listen?
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67. I caught the elevator cables
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68. I pulled myself up
hand over hand
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69. until I finally reached the top
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70. where I kicked the grate open
with my feet
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71. and catapulted myself
onto the roof
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72. but right before
I could grab the baby
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73. it turned, and I realized
it wasn't a baby
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74. it was a crow!
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75. - And it attacked me.
- What?
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76. I tried to fend it off,
but he was one of those
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77. angry crows,
and no matter what I did
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78. he kept attacking,
he wouldn't stop
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79. and he just kept attacking
and attacking
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80. until, finally,
I lost my balance
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81. and fell 15 stories!
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82. And that's when
you broke your leg.
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83. No, I landed
on an inflatable gorilla
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84. in front of a car dealership.
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85. So how did you break your leg?
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86. Oh, I was here for a checkup
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87. and I slipped
getting up on this table.
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88. It's really high.
You should try it.
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89. No, wait, don't.
You'll break your leg like me.
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90. She's a keeper.
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91. - What are we doing here?
- I'm, uh, d-dropping you off.
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92. Bugs isn't here.
How am I supposed to get inside?
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93. - Uh, u-use your keys.
- I don't have keys.
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94. So you don't have a, a
wallet
or k-k-keys?
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95. Porky, I'm a spiritual being.
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96. I'm not interested
in material possessions.
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97. Ooh, can I have these?
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98. Just take me to your house.
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99. Um, uh, c-can't I drop you
off
at Tina's?
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100. Tina's at work.
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101. Why don't you wanna take me
to your house?
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102. Oh, no, no, it's just...
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103. - It's just what?
- Oh, nothing, I'm...
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104. You're what? What are you up to?
What are you hiding?
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105. Nothing.
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106. Aha! You were hiding these.
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107. All I'm saying is,
you need to be charming
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108. to do catering.
You're not charming.
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109. Uh, just go watch TV.
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110. Uh, I've got some, uh,
c-cooking to do.
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111. Huh, catering.
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112. You should get a job
where you don't have
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113. to interact with people,
maybe something with a computer
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114. where, where people don't have
to look at you.
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115. That would be good for you
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116. 'cause you're a creepy recluse
who keeps to himself.
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117. (man on TV)
'Breaking news in the case'
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118. 'of the suburban strangler.'
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119. Until now, the police have had
little to go on
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120. other than the assumption
that the killer
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121. 'is a creepy recluse
who keeps to himself.'
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122. Huh, that's how
I just described Porky.
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123. But now a witness
has come forward
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124. giving police a physical
description of the suspect.
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125. The guy we're looking for
is chubby
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126. short and bald
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127. 'with a pig-like nose.'
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128. "Chubby, short and bald
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129. with a pig-like nose?"
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130. If you see anyone
matching this description
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131. call 9-1-1.
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132. Mother!
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133. What happened? Where am I?
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134. I'm in Porky's house.
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135. Porky's the suburban strangler!
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136. I gotta call 9-1-1! Ah!
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137. I don't remember
the number for 9-1-1.
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138. Think. Think, man.
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139. I know, I'll call 4-1-1
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140. and ask them
for the number for 9-1-1.
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141. Ah! I don't know
the number for 4-1-1!
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142. I'll call Bugs!
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143. He's filled
with useless information
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144. like emergency phone numbers.
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145. He cut the phone line.
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146. Aah!
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147. Porky, you scared me,
not that you're scary.
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148. 'I just didn't expect you
to be standing there'
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149. like a psychopath.
Not that you're a psychopath.
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150. Are you, uh, feeling better?
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151. Mm-hmm. Much better.
All better, in fact.
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152. I should probably be
getting home.
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153. I'm sure Bugs is back by now.
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154. Oh, o-okay, I'll drive you.
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155. Wait, they say
never let your attacker
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156. take you to a second location.
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157. Uh, w-what?
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158. If you drive me to my house
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159. you'd be taking me
to a second location.
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160. - So?
- Nice try, chubby.
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161. But you're not taking me
anywhere.
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162. Uh, you think I'm chubby?
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163. You're not just chubby
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164. you're chubby, short and bald
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165. with a pig-like nose.
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166. Aah! Uh, well, you're rude!
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167. Awfully sensitive
for a wanted killer.
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168. Thanks for getting all my stuff.
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169. I really feel like I'm at home.
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170. squeak
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171. Remind me again
why you're not at home.
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172. Uh, because you're
taking care of me
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173. and you live here.
See? I'm doing you a favor.
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174. - Gee, thanks.
- You won't even know I'm here.
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175. - Oh, Bugs?
- Yes?
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176. I'm kind of thirsty.
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177. Would you mind getting me
a glass of milk?
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178. - Milk?
- Oh, no, wait.
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179. I'm allergic to milk.
How about a soda?
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180. Diet soda, though.
Oh, no, wait, regular soda.
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181. I need the calories.
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182. You know what?
Sorry, soda's bad for you.
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183. How about an orange juice?
No, wait, apple juice.
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184. No, orange juice.
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185. No! Apple juice. You know what?
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186. Just give me the milk
and we'll see what happens.
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187. - What's that?
- Water.
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188. Oh! It's just what I wanted.
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189. gulp gulp
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190. Ah! I got to pee.
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191. When do you get
your cast off, again?
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192. Only six weeks.
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193. 'Canopy bed,
embroidered pillows'
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194. lace curtains?
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195. This is either the bedroom
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196. of an 80-year-old woman
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197. or a deranged killer.
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198. No knives, no guns,
no body parts.
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199. 'Great day in the morning!'
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200. How many sunglasses
does one pig need?
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201. Is it possible that Porky's
not the suburban strangler?
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202. Could it be
that he just happens to be
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203. chubby, short and bald
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204. and I'm jumping
to an outlandish conclusion
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205. because I'm a paranoid,
hateful, fear mongerer?
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206. No, that's the face of a killer.
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207. beep beep
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208. Uh, it's me.
Yeah, it has to be tonight.
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209. I, uh, I-I think he's on to me.
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210. Uh, c-come pick up Daffy,
when I'm done with him.
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211. 'He'll be in the, the garage'
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212. 'in the, the freezer.'
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213. click
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214. What is all this?
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215. I gotta get out of here.
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216. He's locked me in!
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217. Uh, w-where are you going?
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218. Oh, uh, nowhere.
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219. I-I was just
getting a little hungry.
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220. Yeah, well, let me make you
something. How about a sandwich?
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221. Oh, why, thank you.
I would love a sandwich.
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222. He's toying with me.
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223. He's gonna chop me up
into a million pieces.
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224. He's gonna cook me.
he's gonna wear me.
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225. Wait a minute, calm down.
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226. This is Porky
you're talking about.
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227. You've known him
your whole life.
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228. He wouldn't hurt a fly!
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229. He's a sweetheart.
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230. Oh, no.
I've got Stockholm syndrome.
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231. I've fallen in love
with my captor!
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232. It's a, a chopped liver.
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233. - Whose?
- Uh, what?
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234. You know what?
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235. I just realized I'm not hungry.
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236. I think I should lie back down.
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237. 'Sorry.'
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238. 'Uh, w-what're you doing?'
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239. Oh, is this not the bathroom?
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240. My mistake. I thought
this was the bathroom.
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241. Do, uh, not go in there.
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242. I wouldn't dream of it.
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243. I-if you'll excuse me
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244. I-I have
some business to attend to.
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245. "I have
some business to attend to."
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246. That's what a killer says
right before he kills!
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247. Or is it, "Get in the van?"
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248. No, it's, "I have
some business to attend to."
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249. That poor woman.
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250. Well, at least it's over.
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251. 'Uh, D-Daffy?'
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252. Can I help you?
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253. Uh, uh, I thought
I heard you downstairs.
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254. Nope. Been here the whole time.
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255. Just reading the paper.
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256. Yesterday's news.
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257. Uh, can I bring you some tea?
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258. That sounds lovely!
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259. What could be in here? Bodies?
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260. Torture machines?
Why do I wanna go in there?
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261. Because I was told not to and
I've a problem with authority.
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262. Hey, Lola.
I got you Chinese food.
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263. Lola? Lola?
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264. 'Coming!'
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265. - What is that?
- It's a stair lift.
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266. I felt so bad that you were
having to carry me up and down.
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267. So I had one installed
while you were gone.
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268. It's top of the line.
That's why it's so quiet.
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269. 'Almost there.'
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270. 'Here I come.'
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271. 'Just a few more steps.'
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272. 'Ooh, a-a-and'
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273. almost there. Okay.
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274. Here I come.
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275. There. What's that?
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276. - Your Chinese food.
- That's not Chinese food.
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277. Chinese food's flat and round
with cheese and tomato sauce
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278. and a bunch of different
toppings.
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279. That's called pizza.
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280. Oh, I don't know.
I don't speak Chinese.
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281. Uh, thanks!
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282. Oh, I think I have to pee again.
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283. It's okay, here we go.
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284. Now we're really moving.
Now we're going.
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285. 'Alright, come on. Here we go.'
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286. Huh?
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287. Uh, what are,
what are you doing in here?
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288. I know what you're up to!
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289. Uh, t-then you leave me
no choice.
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290. Make it fast,
I don't deserve the suffer.
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291. I mean, I probably do,
but I don't want to!
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292. 'Happy b-birthday!'
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293. Say what?
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294. Uh, I-I know it's early, but, uh
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295. you said
you knew my secret, so..
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296. I-I hope you like it.
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297. Acollage made out
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298. of assorted photos of me?
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299. What on Earth would possess you
to make something this creepy?
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300. Uh, b-because that's what you,
uh, s-specifically told me
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301. you wanted for your birthday.
Uh, you sent me the photos.
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302. So you don't wanna murder me?
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303. Uh, w-why would
I wanna murder you?
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304. Only a murderer
would ask that question.
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305. - Uh..
- Huh?
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306. Hey, Speed-Speedy.
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307. Speedy?
What did you do to Speedy?
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308. Look, who's got a wallet
and keys now, chubby!
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309. Six weeks.
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310. That's a good way
to kill somebody!
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311. Whoa! Whoa!
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312. In your face!
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313. Oh.
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314. Oh, no! I'm too late!
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315. Speedy!
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316. (all)
Surprise!
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317. Oh, I-I missed it.
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318. Happy early birthday, Daffy!
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319. Pinky was planning to throw this
on your actual birthday
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320. but he called in and said
we'd have to do it tonight
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321. because you were
getting suspicious.
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322. You're lucky to have
such a nice friend.
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323. Nice friend
or the suburban strangler?
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324. - Oh!
- Strangler? Que? Que?
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325. I'm, I'm not
the suburban strangler.
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326. He trapped me in his home.
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327. He locked the door
so I couldn't escape!
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328. Uh, w-what?
Uh, the door wasn't locked.
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329. Well, then, how come
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330. I couldn't just open it
like this?
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331. No, just pull it, man.
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332. It-it's not that heavy.
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333. Kids use it all the time,
little kids.
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334. It doesn't matter!
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335. What does matter
is that you cut the phone line
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336. so I couldn't call for help!
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337. Uh, are you talking about
the phone in the guest room?
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338. It-it's an antique,
it-it's just for decoration.
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339. Then how do you explain
the blood on your hands?
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340. Uh, t-this is paint
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341. for the banner
I made for your party.
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342. You may have
all these people fooled
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343. but I saw you murder a woman!
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344. Uh, w-what?
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345. With a chainsaw!
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346. Uh, t-that was
an ice sculpture o-of you!
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347. What's going on?
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348. Daffy's surprise party.
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349. I thought that was supposed
to be next week.
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350. Uh..
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351. (man on TV)
'We interrupt this program'
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352. with a special alert.
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353. The suburban strangler
has been captured.
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354. You gotta admit
there's a strong
resemblance.
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355. Am I right?
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356. If anyone's gonna murder you,
it's me.
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357. What's that thing?
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358. Don't worry,
I'm getting rid of it.
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359. I got you pizza.
What is this?
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360. I didn't know when you'd be
back, so I ordered Chinese food.
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361. You want some?
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362. Mm-mmm. You can really taste
the kung pao.
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363. It is strong. Mm..
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364. 'Oh, no,
you're not getting rid of this.'
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365. I'm never walking
upstairs again.
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366. Mm, mm..
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367. I still think
Porky is the murderer.
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