The Looney Tunes Show 1x22

Directed by Jeff Siergey

Daffy helps Tina earn her cosmetology license, while Bugs helps Porky learn to dance. Plus, Daffy explains the meaning of love to Porky.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. - Hi. - What?

2. Oh, uh, I thought may-maybe we could hang out.

3. Can't. Got a date with Tina.

4. Well, may-maybe I'll see what Bugs is doing.

5. Whatever.

6. - Porky? - Hey, hi, Bugs.

7. What are you doing here?

8. I thought may-maybe we could hang out.

9. Oh, I can't. I-I got a date with Lola.

10. Uh, oh, okay.

11. I-I'd ask you if you wanted to hang out

12. uh, but-but you probably have a girlfriend, too.

13. - I don't got a girlfriend. - Oh!

14. - Uh, you wanna hang out? - Not really.

15. Uh-uh, you wanna hang out?

16. Uh, sure. Eh, wh-what do you wanna do?

17. Oh, I don't know. Eh, wh-what do you wanna do?

18. Oh, I'm pretty easy. Whatever you wanna do.

19. It-it-it doesn't matter to me. I-I'm up for anything.

20. 'A-are you hungry? Uh, we-we could get something to eat.'

21. Ooh, w-where do you wanna go?

22. Uh, I don't know. Uh, you wanna go to Tutty's?

23. Uh, I don't know. I d-don't really like Tutty's.

24. How can you n-not like Tutty's?

25. Hey, let's just go to Pizzarriba.

26. Uh, but-but we always go to Pizzarriba.

27. Come on, it'll be fun!

28. Well, okay, when you put it that way.

29. I'm glad we're friends.

30. Uh, me, too.

31. - I'm just so sick of my job. - Mm-hmm.

32. - Would you like dessert? - Just the check.

33. It's like they keep telling me, "Tina, as soon as

34. the junior assistant manager position opens up, it's yours."

35. So then the junior assistant manager position opens up

36. and what do they do? They give it to Brian.

37. Mm. Brian.

38. I don't know. Maybe I should quit.

39. Mm-hmm, quit. Makes sense to me.

40. You know, my sister went to beauty school.

41. Maybe I should do that.

42. Get my cosmetology license.

43. What do you think?

44. Anything you decide

45. I will be there to support you

46. because that's what I do

47. support you.

48. I'll get it.

49. You know what? I think we will have dessert.

50. What can I get you?

51. Uh, t-two cheese and mushroom pizzas

52. uh, uh, two milkshakes

53. and t-two orders of ca-calamari.

54. Ooh, good for you, Pinky! You got a girl coming?

55. No, it-it's just for me.

56. You need some help, man.

57. Lucky for you, I have just the thing.

58. 'Uh, y-you teach dance classes?'

59. What, you think I'm just a pizza guy?

60. I teach upstairs, Monday nights.

61. Trust me, women love men who can dance.

62. Hm..

63. - You killed your boss? - What?

64. I knew you were upset at work

65. but I didn't think you'd take it this far.

66. I mean, not that I blame you.

67. Who among us hasn't considered murder

68. as a means of settling a dispute?

69. I mean, I-I certainly have.

70. Where's the body? I'll help you get rid of it.

71. Daffy, this is a wig head.

72. Today was my first day of beauty school.

73. So no one got murdered? Lame.

74. Sorry I have to spend date night doing my homework.

75. Oh, is tonight date night? Don't worry about it.

76. You buy me dinner next time. We'll call it even.

77. Aw! Too short.

78. - What are you doing? - Trying to cut bangs.

79. Dah! It's impossible!

80. Here, let me see.

81. - There you go. - How did you do that?

82. I don't know. I just did it.

83. You think you could also do a bob and a French braid?

84. So what do you wanna see?

85. Oh, I don't know. "Aliens?"

86. - Isn't that an old movie? - It's a movie?

87. - Hello? - Hey, Bugs.

88. - Who is it? - 'Guess what?'

89. I-I signed up for, uh, S-Speedy's dance classes.

90. - Wow! - What?

91. Yeah, he says w-women love a man who can dance.

92. So I figured w-what do I have to lose?

93. - That sounds great! - What sounds great?

94. Yeah, but the only thing is, the flyer says

95. you-you have to bring a partner.

96. - So? - So what?

97. 'So I was w-wondering'

98. 'i-if you'd be my partner.'

99. - Me? - What about you?

100. Wouldn't you rather ask a woman?

101. - What woman? - 'I d-don't know any women.'

102. That's why I'm taking the dance class.

103. - I don't know. - What don't you know?

104. Ne-ne-never mind. I-it was a dumb idea, anyway.

105. I guess I ju-just figured

106. since you and Daffy had, uh, g-girlfriends.

107. It's okay, though.

108. I-I'm used to be-being alone.

109. - No, wait. I'll do it. - Do what?

110. Uh, uh, really? Oh, wow!

111. I can't thank you enough.

112. 'Uh, s-see you Monday night!'

113. There, I'm off the phone. Now we can talk.

114. What do you wanna talk about?

115. Ooh, you wanna talk about aliens?

116. Couldn't you do this on a wig head?

117. No. Head down.

118. Bobs are very intricate.

119. I need to see how the hair moves.

120. Shake it out for me.

121. Stand up for me.

122. It's impossible to evaluate with you in that shapeless smock.

123. Maybe this will give the illusion of a waistline.

124. Ooh, you are one ugly woman

125. but that haircut's got class.

126. Class!

127. 'Porky's gonna kill me!'

128. Wait! Tina still needs a French braid!

129. I am such a good girlfriend.

130. Dropping by uninvited without calling first, guys love that.

131. Who is that ugly woman leaving Bugs' house?

132. She's getting in Bugs' car?

133. Is Bugs cheating on me?

134. crash

135. You're not gonna get away from me!

136. I will follow you until I found out who you are.

137. I won't rest until I get to the bottom of this.

138. Ah, ooh, is that a cupcake store?

139. - Sorry I'm late. - Uh, B-Bugs?

140. Yeah, but why are you dressed like a woman?

141. Huh? Ah!

142. Daffy was practicing cutting hair.

143. Hey, n-nice bob. Uh, you make kind of an ugly woman, though.

144. Why does everybody say that?

145. I think I look beautiful.

146. Pinky, who's your dance partner?

147. She's such a beautiful woman.

148. Uh, wh-what?

149. - Uh, oh, no, it... - Kathy.

150. Finally, someone with some taste.

151. Mwah.

152. Told you I was beautiful.

153. - What are you doing here? - I couldn't wait.

154. - How did we do? - We got a C.

155. What, did you tell them

156. it was because I had to do it on a wig head?

157. No, it's because I didn't turn in the bob.

158. Bugs! What's tonight's homework?

159. - A perm. - A perm?

160. What is this, 1984?

161. Mm, her hair's very fine. It's not gonna be easy.

162. I'll definitely need some volumizer.

163. You know what? This isn't your problem.

164. I'll figure something out.

165. knock knock knock

166. - Oh, hey, Lo... - Who is she?

167. Who?

168. That ugly woman I saw

169. leaving your house and driving your car.

170. First of all, she's not ugly

171. and second of all, that was me.

172. - Say what? - It's very simple.

173. Tina's going to beauty school

174. but Daffy's doing her homework for her

175. so I was wearing a wig that he was cutting

176. when I remembered that I was late for a dance class

177. that I agreed to take with Porky.

178. How dumb do you think I am?

179. I'm gonna be watching you.

180. You hear me? Watching you like a hawk.

181. I'm watching you.

182. Ow! Oops.

183. Watching you!

184. Uh, w-where did you get that dress?

185. I thought Kathy deserved something

186. a little nicer than a smock.

187. Ooh, and look how pretty it twirls!

188. All my years of teaching

189. I have never seen such grace

190. such beauty on the dance floor.

191. - Uh, th-thank you! - I was talking to Kathy.

192. Too bad I have a strict rule about dating my students. Hm.

193. Good thing for that rule.

194. Okey-dokey, everyone. I'll see you next week.

195. Uh, y-you sure will. I-I'm gonna practice every day.

196. Ooh.

197. 'Yeah, whatever, Pinky.'

198. 'Until Monday, Kathy.'

199. I'll be counting the seconds.

200. Uno, dos, tres

201. cuatro, cinco, seis

202. siete, ocho

203. nueve, diez

204. once, doce, trece..

205. So how are things?

206. Oh, I don't know. Complicated.

207. - Talk to me. - Get this.

208. My dance teacher has a crush on me.

209. What's complicated about that?

210. Well, A, I'm not interested

211. and, B, I'm taking the class as a favor to a friend

212. but now with all the weirdness in the air

213. I-I don't wanna go back.

214. Listen, girl. Don't let this teacher get under your skin.

215. You made a commitment to a friend

216. you gotta follow through on that commitment.

217. You're right. You're so right.

218. You know what else is right?

219. The amount of volumizer I used on your perm.

220. Where are you going? You don't have your homework!

221. I'm going to work.

222. You're looking at the new junior assistant manager

223. at Copy Place.

224. Brian got fired for stealing ink.

225. What about beauty school? What about our dream?

226. That was never my dream. I wasn't even good at it.

227. But you only have one more test

228. before you get your cosmetology license!

229. I don't want my cosmetology license.

230. Oh, nice perm.

231. Hey, if anyone should be a hairdresser, it's you.

232. Hm..

233. Tina Russo, it's time to get your cosmetology license.

234. chomp chomp

235. Uh, y-you have such a nice girlfriend, Daffy.

236. Uh, wh-what's it like to be in love?

237. Well, I'm glad you asked.

238. - A r-robot? - Exactly.

239. Trust me.

240. - Hey, can I ask a question? - No.

241. I-I'm not really following you.

242. Alright, let me put it another way.

243. - Hey, don't you mean mermaid? - Don't interrupt.

244. Uh, m-merman mall?

245. You know, I'm just not really sure what any of this has...

246. - Tentacles? - Shut up.

247. Uh, th-thanks for clearing that up for me.

248. That's what I do.

249. Good bounce, nice elasticity.

250. 'Ooh, and somebody used some volumizer.'

251. Good job, Tina. That's an A-plus perm.

252. Yes!

253. I mean..

254. Yes.

255. Alright, everyone, now, for your final exam

256. you've been assigned a volunteer client.

257. Good luck.

258. Your cosmetology license is on the line.

259. - Ooh. - Ooh-oh.

260. I should warn you

261. my hair is very brittle.

262. Hm..

263. An-an-another new dress?

264. It's the last class. I want to look nice.

265. 'Can I get everyone's attention?'

266. I just want to say it's been a pleasure

267. being your instructor for the past few weeks.

268. You have all come so very far.

269. Of course, some of you have come farther than others.

270. Now, let's dance!

271. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

272. Hola, Kathy.

273. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-a!

274. That's a beautiful dress.

275. Uh, B-Bugs, you're supposed to let m-me lead.

276. Just shut up and dance.

277. Mm! Good cupcake.

278. Oh, there's Porky. There's that woman.

279. Bugs' mistress is cheating on him

280. with Porky?

281. Poor Bugs.

282. Speedy?

283. Oh, what is going on up there?

284. Gorgeous.

285. Tina, you've outdone yourself.

286. Thank you. It wasn't easy.

287. Her hair's like straw you wouldn't feed a donkey

288. but as I always say

289. extensions, a Brazilian blowout

290. and platinum highlights can hide any flaw.

291. Well, you've just earned yourself

292. a cosmetology license.

293. Congratulations, Tina.

294. Daffy?

295. Tina? I mean, uh..

296. It's my twin sister.

297. Uh, Grina. What are you doing here?

298. I'm returning my wig heads.

299. What are you doing here?

300. Wh-what is going on?

301. I'm not Tina Russo.

302. Then who are you?

303. Who am I?

304. Until recently I didn't know the answer

305. but now I do.

306. You see, my whole life I've been forced

307. to live among ugly people

308. helpless to do anything about it

309. but now, thanks to these

310. I have the power to trim the ugliness away

311. one haircut at a time.

312. So you ask me who I am

313. I'll tell you.

314. I'm Daffy Duck

315. and I'm a hairdresser.

316. No, no, no, Pinky

317. you're supposed to be the dipper, not the dippee.

318. You're the man, Kathy's the woman

319. a woman unlike any I've ever met.

320. Look, I'm flattered

321. but I'm also Bugs.

322. Senor Bunny?

323. Bugs' mistress is actually just Bugs in a wig

324. taking a dance class with Porky!

325. Oh, right, he said that.

326. I signed up to be Porky's dance partner

327. not to be the target of your incessant flirting.

328. I mean, I certainly didn't help things by looking so beautiful.

329. Beautiful? Who said you were beautiful?

330. - You did! - I was just being nice.

331. You-you were clearly the most unattractive woman in the class

332. so I was trying to make you feel better about yourself.

333. It's called overcompensating.

334. Claro que no. Unbelievable, this guy.

335. Why? No!

336. Uh, sorry, Pork.

337. Uh, w-would you like to dance?

338. I'd really love to.

339. - Lola? - Hi, Bugs..

340. I'm okay!

341. The cupcake broke my fall!

342. Mm. It's still good.

343. Here you go, your new business cards.

344. It's pretty cool to be dating a licensed cosmetologist.

345. Well, it's pretty cool for me to be dating

346. the junior assistant manager of Copy Place.

347. Doesn't quite roll off the tongue

348. like licensed cosmetologist, does it?

349. Okay, can I get you anything else?

350. Nah, we're good.

351. More iced tea for the lady?

352. I miss her so much.

353. Hi, guys. Uh, t-this is my friend, Nancy.

354. Nice to meet you.

355. Call me when you're ready

356. to do something with that.

357. slurp slurp slurp

358. That's the end of the.. Whoa..

359. thud