1. Ah!
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2. Good heavens.
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3. I almost forgot to turn on
my sound machine.
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4. The bank lost over $10 million.
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5. The security guard, he lost his job.
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6. I guess instead of catching Zs,
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7. he should have been catching thieves.
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8. Ha ha ha.
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9. This is Elmer J. Fudd reporting.
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10. $10 million?
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11. Usually I'm the only one
who pays for it
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12. whenever Daffy gets fired.
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13. Unbelievable!
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14. Fired for sleeping on the job.
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15. What's next?
You can't breathe on the job, either?
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16. What do they think I am, a robot?
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17. Do I look like a robot?
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18. Am I made of metal?
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19. Do I make robot noises
and blink my robot lights?
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20. Do I eat nuts and bolts
for breakfast?
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21. No. I eat a breakfast burrito
every day.
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22. Name one robot that eats
a breakfast burrito every day.
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23. You can't!
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24. And do you know why you can't?
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25. Because robots don't have souls.
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26. Now, can someone please tell me
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27. what I was talking about?
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28. I don't know.
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29. I stopped listening
after robots eat breakfast burritos.
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30. You know what, this is good news.
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31. Without a job,
I can do whatever I want
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32. whenever I want to do it.
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33. After all, this is my house,
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34. my rules.
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35. Uh, Daff, this is my house.
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36. And my rule is,
if you're gonna live here,
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37. you have to pull your own weight.
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38. What does that mean?
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39. You know, help out around here.
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40. Do some chores, pay for a few things.
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41. - I do chores.
- No, you don't.
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42. - Well, I pay for things.
- Like what?
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43. I bought leather socks the other day.
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44. Red leather.
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45. Daffy, you got to get another job.
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46. Relax. A guy like me?
I'll have a new job tomorrow.
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47. Guaranteed.
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48. Hmm.
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49. How's the job search coming?
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50. Uh, I'm still working on my résumé.
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51. Let me just close this.
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52. I mean, it's under this.
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53. It's right here.
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54. Here's my résumé.
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55. Nope.
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56. Ok, here's my résumé.
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57. Oh, sorry. That was
definitely not my résumé.
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58. Here is my résumé.
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59. "Daffy Shelton Duck.
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60. "None.
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61. "None.
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62. "None.
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63. Work experience: Let's not go there."
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64. Are you a complete nitwit?
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65. No, I'm a dunderhead.
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66. At least according to
this Internet IQ test.
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67. Daffy, for the past 3 months,
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68. I've been pulling your weight
because I thought
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69. you were looking for a job.
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70. Why would I look for a job
if you're pulling my weight?
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71. So what you're saying is
I'm enabling you?
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72. You're not enabling me.
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73. You're simply shielding me
from the consequences
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74. of my own self-destructive behavior.
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75. I think you're right.
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76. And I'm not gonna do it anymore.
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77. Daffy, for your own good,
I'm kicking you out.
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78. What?
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79. Well, guess what?
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80. You can't kick me out
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81. because I am leaving.
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82. Good.
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83. Great.
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84. I'll go get my stuff.
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85. Ok.
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86. Even if they get back the 5 yards,
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87. they're still looking
at a 50-yard field goal.
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88. Ahem.
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89. In this wind,
that is no sure thing...
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90. I'm going.
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91. I'm really going.
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92. Miller drops back to pass,
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93. and here comes...
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94. I packed my suitcase, and I'm going.
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95. That's my suitcase.
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96. Well, then I'll just take my stuff.
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97. That's my stuff.
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98. I don't need your stuff.
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99. I don't need you.
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100. I can make it on my own just fine.
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101. So I'm going.
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102. I'll see you around.
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103. See you on the flip side.
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104. I am going.
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105. Right now.
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106. I'm... Gone.
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107. G-o-n.
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108. Gone.
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109. Arrivederci.
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110. I don't need no roommate
telling me to pull my weight.
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111. I don't need no job.
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112. I don't need none of that jive.
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113. I'm Daffy Duck!
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114. You hear that, world?
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115. I take care of myself.
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116. Please take care of me.
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117. What are you doing?
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118. Pulling my own weight.
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119. I got you a job.
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120. It requires no experience,
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121. no references, or skills of any kind.
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122. You start tomorrow at Enormocorp.
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123. Enormocorp?
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124. The fifth largest conglomerate
in the world?
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125. Do you really think I have
what it takes to be a CEO?
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126. No. You'll be pushing a muffin cart.
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127. Do you really think I have what
it takes to push a muffin cart?
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128. Look out, Enormocorp,
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129. today I have a muffin cart,
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130. but some day I just might
have the corner office.
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131. Ooh. May I interest you in a muffin?
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132. No.
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133. Come on. I have
a delicious banana nut
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134. with just a hint of cinnamon.
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135. Not so much cinnamon
that it's overpowering,
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136. of course, but just enough
to let you know it's there.
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137. I said no.
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138. - Chocolate chip muffin?
- No.
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139. Come on, you deserve it.
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140. I'm on the phone.
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141. You want one?
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142. No?
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143. Muffin?
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144. Ugh. This is pointless.
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145. I'm not cut out for work.
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146. I should just be a stay-at-home mom.
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147. I mean, look at these people.
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148. This is how they want
to spend their days?
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149. Taking orders from this guy?
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150. When I, I say, when I took
over Enormocorp 10 years ago,
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151. I vowed, I say, I vowed
to make Enormocorp
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152. a world leader in industry.
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153. I say, I say.
I'm a big fat rooster
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154. and I run the company.
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155. Look at me with my
big fat finger wound
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156. like I'm the boss of you.
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157. - I run this...
- What, I say,
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158. what is going on here?
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159. I say, I say.
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160. Ha ha ha!
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161. Hoo hoo!
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162. Ha ha...
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163. Get in here.
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164. Yes, you.
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165. Who do you think you are?
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166. The muffin man.
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167. And what do you got here?
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168. Muffins.
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169. Son, do you, I say,
do you know what I'm thinking?
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170. I know what I'm thinking.
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171. I'll tell you what I'm thinking.
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172. I'm thinking that's
a blueberry muffin.
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173. I love me some muffins.
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174. Why, land sakes, lemon poppy seed.
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175. Mmm.
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176. My grand mammy used to make
a lemon poppy seed.
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177. But those old poppy seeds love to get
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178. all stuck in your teeth now,
don't they?
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179. Is that a jam-filled?
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180. Oh, my stars, it is!
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181. It is a jam-filled!
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182. You know, as a boy,
I used to suck the jam out
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183. with a straw.
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184. True story, that is.
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185. But, you know, I keep
going back to the...
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186. I say, I keep going back
to that blueberry.
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187. Just pick one.
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188. Son, I'm gonna tell you something.
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189. You got... I say you got chutzpah.
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190. I got what?
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191. I'm surrounded, I say, I'm surrounded
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192. by bootlickers and toadies,
stooges and suck-ups.
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193. I'm talking about you, too, Carol.
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194. But you, I say, you,
you're not like these other lackeys.
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195. They tell me what I want to hear.
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196. You tell me what I need to hear.
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197. Well, son, what do you have to say?
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198. Maybe you ought to lay off
the muffins for a while.
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199. Heh heh heh.
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200. Ha ha ha!
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201. Come with me, muffin man.
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202. Now, let's see about
getting you a corner office.
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203. Hmm. That happened
even faster than I thought.
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204. Wow. Is this thing
still loading, Gustavo?
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205. - Si, 88%.
- Oh, there it goes.
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206. We're almost up!
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207. Wait. Did it freeze again?
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208. Gustavo, you got
to be kidding me, man!
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209. You said you were good
with computers!
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210. No, I said I had a computer.
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211. Oh, here we go, it's up!
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212. I told you I could do it.
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213. You spelled it wrong!
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214. What is pibba? It's... -
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215. Not according to your website.
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216. You're running from me?
You are running from...
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217. I'm speedy Gonzales!
Speedy is in my name!
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218. I'm the fastest. Ever!
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219. And that's why I don't wear clothes.
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220. I can learn a lot from you, boy.
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221. Sir, we're hearing that
Murphy doesn't want to sell.
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222. Do we withdraw our offer
or attempt a hostile takeover?
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223. Hmm. That's a tough...
I say, that's a tough question.
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224. Withdraw our offer,
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225. or attempt a hostile takeover.
Hmm.
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226. Man. What is wrong with you?
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227. Just go with your gut.
You got a big enough one.
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228. My gut, huh?
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229. Hostile takeover.
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230. You heard... I say,
you heard the muffin man...
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231. Hostile takeover.
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232. So, where you taking me to lunch?
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233. I think I'll let you make
the decisions from now on.
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234. Lemon meringue or Tiramisu?
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235. We'll take the whole cart.
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236. Pomeranian or pekingese?
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237. Cheetah.
World's fastest land animal.
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238. Renee or Annabel?
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239. The one wearing glasses.
You look smarter.
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240. Well, Daffy, what do you think...
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241. I say, what do you think
of Enormocorp?
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242. I don't know.
It's fine?
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243. I'm happy... I say,
I'm happy to hear you say that,
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244. - because it's yours.
- What?
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245. I've been... I say, I've been wanting to
hand over the company for some time now,
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246. and there's only one kind of
man I trust to run Enormocorp...
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247. A muffin man.
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248. And I should know.
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249. After all, I was once
a muffin man myself.
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250. Later, gator.
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251. Remember... I say,
remember these words, son!
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252. You can always trust a muffin man!
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253. Good morning, Mr. Duck.
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254. Good morning, Mr. Duck.
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255. Good morning, Mr. Duck.
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256. Good morning, Mr. Duck.
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257. Hold my calls, Carol.
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258. Hold my calls!
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259. I've always wanted to say
"hold my calls."
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260. And now, someone's holding my calls!
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261. Who's calling me?
I don't know! I don't care!
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262. I'm CEO.
CEO of Enormocorp!
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263. Ahh.
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264. Now, what will be
my first official act as CEO?
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265. Ohh. That's the stuff.
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266. I'm not sure if you can help me.
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267. I'm visiting a friend of mine.
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268. He just started working here.
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269. - What's his name?
- Daffy Duck.
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270. Oh, Mr. Duck.
He's in the corner office.
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271. Corner office?
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272. You guys must really love
your muffins around here.
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273. Mr. Duck is the CEO of Enormocorp.
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274. That makes sense.
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275. Whoo!
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276. I see you finally found a job
where they pay you to sleep.
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277. They don't pay me to sleep.
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278. What do they pay you to do?
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279. To run the place.
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280. Daffy, you don't even know
how to run the dishwasher.
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281. That's because you do it for me.
We've been through this!
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282. I don't need your help anymore.
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283. Why is my personal growth
so threatening to you?
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284. - Daff...
- No.
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285. That's something for you to
discuss with a therapist.
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286. I'm at work right now.
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287. I... I can't be doing this.
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288. Mr. Duck.
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289. I'm sorry to interrupt.
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290. See? At work!
Talk to me.
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291. Sir, the markets have turned.
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292. Should we delay the merger
or proceed as planned?
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293. Delay the merger.
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294. I think that's the right decision.
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295. Wait.
Proceed as planned.
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296. - Proceed as planned.
- Delay the merger.
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297. - Which one?
- I don't know!
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298. I'm not used to being the guy
who's asked to make a decision!
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299. I'm used to standing next to
the guy who's asked to make a decision!
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300. That's when I can make a decision!
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301. I need that big, fat rooster!
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302. Big, fat rooster!
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303. Do I delay the merger,
or proceed as planned?
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304. Always trust a muffin man!
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305. Sir, we need a decision.
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306. I'll be right back.
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307. How you doing?
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308. - Muffin man.
- Hey, Daffy.
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309. This is very important.
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310. Do we delay the merger
or proceed as planned?
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311. Oh, right.
This is the guy to ask.
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312. Hmm.
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313. Hmm. Let's see.
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314. Uh, proceed as planned.
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315. You heard the muffin man.
Do not delay the merger.
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316. - Proceed as planned.
- You're sure?
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317. I've never been more sure of
anything in my entire life.
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318. Whoa.
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319. Thanks for watching my muffin cart.
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320. No problem.
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321. Ooh. I would have delayed the merger.
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322. Yep. Me, too.
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323. Mmm. Blueberry.
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324. Beep beep!
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325. Beep beep!
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326. Beep beep!
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327. Beep beep!
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328. Beep beep!
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329. Beep beep!
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330. Beep beep!
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331. After what is now being called
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332. the worst business decision
in the history of business,
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333. Enormocorp has gone out of business.
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334. As a result, more than 100,000
have lost their jobs,
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335. and experts fear the world
economy could collapse.
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336. Disgraced CEO Daffy Duck could
not be reached for comment.
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337. Ugh. If I'd have known
all that was going to happen,
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338. I'd have kept enabling you.
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339. Well, at least I learned
a big lesson.
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340. - What's that?
- When I pull my own weight,
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341. I pull a lot of stuff down with me.
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342. Whoa!
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343. Whoa! Oh! Whoa!
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344. Call Dr. Weisberg.
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