The Looney Tunes Show 1x16

Directed by Jeff Siergey

When Tina asks Daffy to babysit her nephew, Daffy discovers the unexpected joys of motherhood. Meanwhile, Bugs discovers how gullible Porky can be.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Be right there.

2. Well, that was a lie.

3. One second.

4. One.

5. I said I'm coming!

6. What happened to this country?

7. No one hustles anymore.

8. That's why Canada's killing us these days.

9. You have a baby?

10. I knew it! I knew you were lying to me.

11. I thought I knew you.

12. I thought you were my girlfriend.

13. I let myself be vulnerable to you.

14. I trusted you.

15. Well, not anymore. Do you hear that?

16. That's the sound of my walls going back up.

17. Lose my number,

18. because you are dead to me.

19. D-E-D. Dead.

20. It's not my kid. It's my sister's.

21. I'm babysitting.

22. - She's adorable. - He's a boy.

23. Looks like a girl.

24. Captioning made possible by Warner bros. Animation

25. You want to grab some lunch?

26. Great. I'm starving.

27. - Porky's coming. - Uh, no thanks.

28. You just said you were starving.

29. - Changes the dynamic. - What dynamic?

30. - I already ate. - No, you didn't.

31. Porky's a bummer.

32. You're a bummer!

33. - No. I'm not a bummer. - I'm a jerk.

34. What are you doing after lunch?

35. - Nothing. - You want to do something fun?

36. Great. What'd you have in mind?

37. - Go buy some ink. - Ink?

38. For my printer. Fun, right?

39. Turns out the jerk was right about the bummer.

40. - Huh? - You guys all set to order?

41. I'll have a club sandwich.

42. Yeah. I'll have one of those, too.

43. Can I start you off with some refreshing iced tea?

44. - Water's fine. - I'll have some refreshing iced tea.

45. It's so refreshing.

46. Did you want to start with an appetizer?

47. Some ooey-gooey nachos?

48. Or maybe our famous spinach artichoke poppers?

49. Nah. Just the sandwich.

50. They're really good.

51. I'll get the spinach artichoke poppers.

52. Great choice.

53. Unbelievable.

54. What?

55. Don't you see what just happened?

56. What?

57. Cute waitress... Bubbly personality...

58. Ooey-gooey? It was a classic upsale.

59. - Huh? - Upsale.

60. It's when someone gets you to buy something

61. you didn't even want in the first place.

62. Wow. You're right.

63. I don't even like spinach. Or artichoke.

64. Can I get you anything else?

65. No. We're good.

66. Are you sure?

67. We have a chocolate lava cake for dessert.

68. It's really good.

69. - Well, then I have to get it. - Great.

70. And maybe some of those ooey-gooey nachos.

71. I'll be right there.

72. One second!

73. What happened to this country?

74. No one takes the time to relax anymore.

75. That's why Canada's killing us these days.

76. Oh. Thank goodness you're home.

77. Someone called in sick at work, and I got to cover their shift.

78. Can you watch him? Oh, I can't. I'm busy.

79. With what? You don't have a job.

80. I got a bunch of stuff to do around the house.

81. It's bugs' house.

82. I promised my girlfriend I'd help her out.

83. I'm your girlfriend.

84. Well, then, I'll watch the baby.

85. Well, that one kind of backfired on me.

86. And if anything happens to him while I'm gone,

87. I'll kill you.

88. I can take care of a baby.

89. I used to be a baby... I think.

90. I don't really have any memories before the age of 15.

91. So, what's up, man?

92. Not much of a talker?

93. What are you into?

94. You like jam bands? I used to be in a jam band.

95. Wait.

96. Hold on.

97. Wait.

98. Closer, but...

99. Wait.

100. Good jam, huh?

101. Sounds like someone wants an encore.

102. Wait. Hold on. Wait.

103. What's wrong, baby? You want something to eat?

104. It's a Reuben. No?

105. You want something to drink?

106. Milk?

107. What am I, crazy? Babies don't like milk.

108. How about some clam juice? Here.

109. We got to get rid of it, anyway. It's about to expire.

110. You're not hungry. You're not thirsty.

111. What's your problem?

112. That better be the clam juice.

113. Oh, before I ring you up, there is just one thing...

114. Here it comes.

115. Would you be interested in getting an extended warranty?

116. And there it is.

117. - Um... - Are you crazy? It's ink.

118. All replacement parts would be covered up to 40%.

119. You're not going to need replacement parts.

120. It's ink.

121. If the product gets damaged,

122. we'll ship it back to the manufacturer for you.

123. It's not going to get damaged. It's ink.

124. It's only an additional $15.

125. That's half the price of the ink.

126. I'll take it.

127. What's the matter with you?

128. Did you get a bunch of bad news before you came over here?

129. You're a bigger bummer than porky.

130. In the middle of the Atlantic ocean...

131. Come on, guys. We're going to be late for choir practice.

132. Lives a pack of whales...

133. Trying to find their voice.

134. Some trying a little harder than the rest.

135. You like that?

136. "Marty the whale..." In theaters now.

137. Well, then, let's go to the movie!

138. Aah!

139. Popcorn?

140. Shh!

141. Sir, you're disturbing the other patrons.

142. I'm not doing anything.

143. Talk to him.

144. Sir, please.

145. 'Cause he's crying?

146. That's his emotional response to the material.

147. You have to take your baby outside.

148. Fine. I've already seen it anyway.

149. Lieutenant graves doesn't make it.

150. - Ohh! - He never sees Barbara again.

151. Oh, come on!

152. You ought to see somebody. You're seriously depressed.

153. Ugh. I know how you feel. You know what helped me?

154. Mommy and baby class.

155. We're going to one now. You should come.

156. Anything to stop that crying.

157. - Uhh, your baby? - Huh?

158. Oh, right.

159. Are you sure you don't want me to carry your ink?

160. I'd hate for something to happen to it.

161. Oh, that's right!

162. It doesn't matter if something happens to it.

163. You've got an ink warranty.

164. He made it sound so important.

165. You must think I'm a real jerk.

166. No. Daffy's a jerk. You're a bummer.

167. Right!

168. Battery's dead.

169. Look on the bright side...

170. If this ever happens to your ink, you're covered.

171. So that'll be $89.

172. Are you interested in joining the tow truck club?

173. No.

174. For just $250 a month, you get 23 tows a year.

175. Who gets towed that much?

176. What person is breaking down 20 times a year?

177. Sign up today, I'll throw in some free stickers for just $10.

178. Free $10 stickers?

179. Gee, where do I sign up?

180. Right here. You can use the pen after me.

181. Has anyone's baby reached a new milestone this week?

182. Charlie smiled at his daddy last night.

183. He really did!

184. Samantha rolled over for the first time.

185. What about your little guy?

186. Oh, uh, him?

187. He, uh, learned how to ride a bike.

188. What?

189. Why? Is that bad? Is he slow?

190. Slow!

191. Ha ha ha.

192. Aww!

193. Bye, ladies. See you next week.

194. Janet, don't give up on sleep training.

195. I know it's hard, but it's worth it.

196. Marcia, I promise I'll get you the name of my pediatrician.

197. Keep bugging me about it, though. Mom brain.

198. Keep up the great work, moms!

199. It's the hardest job we'll ever love.

200. These will be ready next Tuesday.

201. But the yard sale's this weekend.

202. I said next Tuesday.

203. What are you doing here?

204. Just out for a little stroll.

205. He tends to get a little fussy this time of day.

206. They call it the witching hour.

207. You probably didn't know that.

208. His favorite pacie.

209. Wow. I'm impressed.

210. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?

211. My shift just ended.

212. Already? Can't you work overtime or something?

213. Swing shift? Graveyard shift?

214. I mean, you got to put in the hours

215. if you're going to break through that glass ceiling.

216. We're going to the park.

217. You forgot his schmoopie!

218. We have a compact car available,

219. or for just an extra $49 a day,

220. we can upgrade you to a minivan.

221. - I'll take it. - Great. Let me get your key.

222. A minivan?

223. What are you, a soccer mom?

224. What happened to all my money?

225. Appetizers, warranties,

226. free stickers,

227. and don't forgot, you're on the hook

228. to the tow truck club for 3 grand a year.

229. You're right. I fall for it every time.

230. No more upsells. I promise.

231. You're all set.

232. Oh, I almost forgot... Would you like insurance?

233. It's just an additional $3.00 a day.

234. I don't know what kind of fool you take me for,

235. but I'm not interested in your insurance.

236. Uh, porky, I think you should get the insurance.

237. It's an upsell.

238. No. Artichoke poppers are an upsell.

239. Insurance is practical.

240. Just get it.

241. It's hardly any money, and if anything happens,

242. you're covered.

243. No insurance. Just the Van.

244. Ow.

245. It's starting to bruise.

246. He doesn't like it when you do that.

247. You're holding the bottle wrong.

248. That's not even the right nipple.

249. We switched to soy formula.

250. Just let me do it.

251. What is wrong with you?

252. I'll tell you what's wrong with me.

253. You think what you do is so important because you work.

254. Well, I work just as hard as you,

255. and I don't even get a paycheck.

256. You've never gotten a paycheck.

257. I'm so busy taking care of him,

258. I can't even tell you the last time I took a shower.

259. You never shower.

260. Uh, that's because i care about the earth.

261. The point is, raising a baby is hard work.

262. - And it's twice as hard when you do it alone.

263. I'm just so tired!

264. You've known him for one day.

265. You don't even know the baby's name.

266. His name's not baby?

267. Where's baby?

268. Zachary!

269. Zachary?

270. Baby's a better name than Zachary.

271. It is roomy, I'll give it that.

272. Baby!

273. He doesn't like it when you do that.

274. I probably should have gotten the insurance.

275. Thanks again for watching him.

276. I want to start a family with you.

277. - What? - I finally realize

278. what I was put on this earth to do...

279. Be a mother.

280. Or was it to open a frozen yogurt shop?

281. Yes. That is exactly what i was put on this earth to do.

282. I'll be known for my toppings.

283. No, no toppings. Just yogurt...

284. The best yogurt. That's what I'll be known for.

285. With tons of flavors.

286. No! One flavor!

287. With tons of toppings!

288. Beep beep!

289. - Ok. So, just the pizza? - Yep.

290. That'll be 14.99.

291. You know...

292. For just a couple of dollars more,

293. I could throw in a 2-liter soda and some breadsticks.

294. Ehh...

295. Or for an even 20, you get the soda, you get the breadsticks,

296. and you get the cinnamon breadsticks.

297. They're just like the regular breadsticks,

298. but with cinnamon. Cinnamon, huh?

299. - For the dessert. - All right. I'll take it.

300. Classic upsell.

301. Captioning made possible by Warner bros. Animation

302. Captioned by the national captioning institute. Www.Ncicap.Org...

303. Fix and proper by jasonnguyen2606 www.addic7ed.com.

304. That's all, fo...

305. Ohh.

306. I shouldn't have had those artichoke poppers.