The Looney Tunes Show 1x15

Directed by Jeff Siergey

Bugs gets a job alongside Porky at a boring office to cheer him up. Daffy also gets a job, but not one where he has to work. He gets a nose job.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Hey, wake up.

2. Come on. You're snoring. Wake up.

3. Daffy, wake up!

4. Alright, fine.

5. Do you need to sigh so loudly?

6. I'm trying to sleep!

7. You look terrible.

8. You should get more sleep.

9. More sleep?

10. I can't get any sleep

11. because of your snoring.

12. What? I've tried everything.

13. Breathing strips, mouth guards, eye patches, jockstraps.

14. Self tanner, canker sore cream, and I still snore.

15. Really? Canker sore cream didn't work?

16. What's the big deal? I snore. You brush your teeth.

17. We all have our little quirks.

18. Daffy, you gotta see someone about your snoring.

19. It's a problem.

20. Not a problem for me. I sleep great.

21. Well, it's a problem for me.

22. And I know just how to fix it

23. permanently.

24. How is standing on the ledge of a high-rise building

25. gonna fix my snoring?

26. Oh, right. Snoring.

27. What's this doctor's name again?

28. - Dr. Weisberg. - Weisberg.

29. - What is that, Irish? - Uh!

30. Hey, that's Porky's office.

31. Murphy and Associates.

32. Murphy. What is that, Jewish?

33. - What are you doing? - Recipes.

34. - You don't cook. - Well, I don't have the time.

35. But "7-Minute Meals"

36. it's perfect for busy moms like me.

37. Oh!

38. I'm gonna go visit Porky.

39. Fine, more salmon balls for me.

40. This is taking forever.

41. - Where's the bathroom? - Right down the hall.

42. Oh, you need a key.

43. A key to go to the bathroom?

44. What, you don't trust me?

45. You think I'm gonna steal your toilet?

46. Uh! What happened to this country?

47. 'Porky, can I see you in my office?'

48. Wh-Wh-Wh.. What'd I do?

49. B-Bugs, wh-what are you doing here?

50. I was gonna push Daffy off the roof.

51. Wow, look at you.

52. You got your own cubicle.

53. A computer..

54. - Uh, p-please don't. - A phone.

55. Th-Th-Th.. This is Porky Pig.

56. Pencil sharpener.

57. Tape dispenser.

58. What a fun job. You must love working here.

59. If by love, you mean hate

60. sitting in this soul-sucking cave.

61. Counting every minute until the we-weekend

62. and then dreading every minute until M-Monday.

63. Then, yes, I love working here.

64. Spittin' image.

65. - Oh, uh, who works there? - No one. It's empty.

66. Mm-hmm.

67. 'My point is if someone wants to steal a toilet'

68. 'they're gonna steal a toilet.'

69. Let's just agree to disagree, okay?

70. - I don't agree to that. - Alright.

71. Looks like you've got a deviated septum.

72. There is nothing wrong with my septum! What's a septum?

73. It's what separates the right and the left side of the nose.

74. Yours is too far to the right

75. which is causing your snoring.

76. - Can you fix it? - Easily.

77. It's a piece of cake. A very simple procedure.

78. And, if you'd like, while I'm at it

79. I could smooth out that bump in your beak.

80. I don't have a bump in my beak.

81. I'm hideous.

82. Where'd you get that?

83. Why didn't you tell me

84. I have a bump on my beak?

85. I never noticed a bump.

86. Do not patronize me!

87. If there is something wrong with me

88. that I don't know about, then you owe it to me

89. as my best friend to tell me!

90. Alright. You're a narcissist.

91. You're a sociopath.

92. 'You're probably a psychopath.'

93. 'You're a..'

94. You're paranoid, sexist

95. and you make fun of the elderly.

96. Those are just quirks! Endearing quirks!

97. I'm talking about something important, my appearance.

98. And if you won't be honest with me

99. then I'll find someone who will.

100. Here, take this home for me.

101. It's a really good toilet.

102. Did you want these in color or black and white?

103. - Aah! - Do I have a bump on my beak?

104. Oh, yeah, it's huge.

105. First thing I ever noticed about you.

106. I can't have a bump on my beak!

107. I can't have an imperfection!

108. I allow no imperfections!

109. What are you talking about?

110. You're nothing but imperfections.

111. Name a perfection.

112. What are you looking at?

113. It's my bump, isn't it?

114. Don't look at me. I'm a monster!

115. Aah-ha-ha-ha!

116. Oops, sorry. Didn't mean to bump into you.

117. Oh! Aah-ah!

118. It's okay.

119. It's just a bump in the road.

120. Oh! Aah!

121. Aah!

122. Careful, that sidewalk's pretty bumpy.

123. Oh!

124. - Bump. - Bump.

125. - Bump! - Bump!

126. No! No!

127. Hey, man, you got a big bump on your beak.

128. Aah-ha-ho! Oh-ha-ho!

129. Murphy and Associates. Please hold.

130. Thank you for your holding.

131. What's up, doc?

132. Bugs? W-why are you here?

133. I don't know.

134. Maybe because I work here.

135. Eh, but-but you're not an accountant.

136. Nope, but evidently I have great people skills.

137. 'So what are you working on?'

138. The Papadopoulos returns.

139. It's the most complex, tedious tax return

140. and I get stuck with it every year.

141. Well, what are you waiting for?

142. Those taxes aren't gonna return themselves.

143. I want to look like this.

144. This is a recipe for salmon balls.

145. Gimme that. I haven't had time to make those.

146. Seven minutes? They're out of their minds.

147. I want to look like this.

148. First of all, that's a woman.

149. Second of all, that's a nose.

150. 'You have a beak.'

151. You know, your bedside manner could use some work.

152. Smaller.

153. Smaller. Smaller.

154. Anything smaller would be too drastic a change.

155. The drasticer, the better.

156. - Ha ha ha! - Hmm.

157. When do you wanna have it done?

158. Now!

159. Sorry, you have a very slappable face.

160. Porky's gonna love these.

161. Hey, I didn't hear you snore last night.

162. I guess the procedure was a success.

163. It'll be a success when these bandages come off

164. and I show the world the new me.

165. Soon, I will be on the outside

166. what I've always been on the inside.

167. Perfect, like a diamond

168. 'or a pearl, or a pearl with a diamond inside.'

169. And now the pearl outside

170. is being replaced by diamond.

171. So that there is diamond on the inside

172. and now finally, a matching diamond

173. on the outside.

174. Well, all I care about is the not snoring.

175. I'm off to work!

176. Work? I don't remember Bugs having a job.

177. Has he always had a job? I wonder what he does.

178. I bet he's a dentist.

179. Lame! Ha ha ha!

180. Got any rubber bands?

181. Thanks.

182. Scissors?

183. Thanks.

184. Tape? Thanks.

185. Pencils? Thanks.

186. I only needed the erasers.

187. Hey, Pork, you got a second?

188. Bugs, I'm trying to work.

189. 'Ha ha! Hi, my name's Diane.'

190. I'm Mr. Bunny's new secretary.

191. 'Oh, can I get you a cup of coffee?'

192. Stop it! You're hurting me. Aah!

193. B-Bugs, q-quit it.

194. What? I'm just having fun.

195. Y-you're not supposed to be having fun.

196. You're supposed to be working.

197. - Why can't I do both? - Uh, huh?

198. Porky, the average person

199. spends a third of their life at work.

200. Why would you want to waste a third

201. of your life being miserable?

202. Are-are you saying I should, uh, quit?

203. No! I'm saying that you need to make work fun.

204. I d-don't know, Bugs.

205. Well, I think it's a great idea.

206. Are you ready to see the new you?

207. My middle name is Ready. Actually it's Sheldon.

208. I tried going with Armando for a while, but it never caught on.

209. 'Probably 'cause your middle name doesn't come up'

210. 'in conversation very much.'

211. 'I tried working it in, but... '

212. - Holy.. - Aah!

213. What is it? How do I look?

214. I'm gorgeous!

215. Got any paper clips? I used all mine.

216. Thanks.

217. Is that a chandelier made of paper clips?

218. You were right, Bugs. W-work can be fun.

219. Hello, world.

220. I'm about to make you a whole lot prettier.

221. Hello, little baby.

222. Oh-h!

223. Tina, it's Daffy.

224. Meet me at the sunset room in an hour.

225. And look good. I do.

226. I'm looking for my boyfriend. He's a little black duck.

227. A duck?

228. Well, I wasn't sure what that was.

229. We put him in the way back.

230. Kinda fancy for lunch.

231. What's the occasion?

232. I'm the occasion.

233. What happened to you?

234. I got a beak job.

235. Look, no bump.

236. You messed up your whole face

237. just to get rid of a stupid bump?

238. You look crazy!

239. If I look so crazy

240. how come everyone's staring at me?

241. Because you look crazy.

242. Daffy, I liked your old beak.

243. But my old beak had an imperfection.

244. And when it comes to my appearance

245. there can be no imperfections.

246. Well, it looks like a dog ate your face.

247. I liked your bump.

248. I like all your imperfections.

249. Well, not all of them.

250. Your imperfections are what make you you.

251. And I like you.

252. Oh, I get it.

253. You're jealous because I have this perfect little beak

254. and you have that giant nightmare.

255. bam

256. 'Call Dr. Weisberg!'

257. Uh, co-come into the conference room.

258. A-and bring the paper aeroplane.

259. I give you M-Murphy and Associates

260. 'international paper airport!'

261. A-and you are cleared for landing.

262. Porky, how long did this take you?

263. Hours.

264. It's all I've been doing since lunch.

265. Pretty fun. Ha!

266. I know I said to make work fun

267. but you still gotta do your work.

268. What about the Papadopoulos returns?

269. The Papadopoulos returns!

270. Wow! Paper baggage handlers.

271. - Mr. Murphy. - What is this?

272. It's a paper airport.

273. Have you seen Porky? I need the Papadopoulos returns.

274. This just in.

275. All flights have been grounded..

276. d-due to snow!

277. Ha ha! Yippee! Ha ha!

278. 'Ho-ho! Jingle bells! Ha-ha! Oh-oh!'

279. You're fired.

280. Oh! Am I fired, too?

281. Lucky for you, I saved your old beak.

282. Lucky? It still has the bump!

283. And is it a little crooked?

284. Eh, good enough.

285. Sorry about that, Porky.

286. Don't be sorry, you've shown me that life's too short

287. to have a j-job I don't enjoy.

288. Huh. That's great.

289. You've shown me that I can do anything.

290. I can get any job I want.

291. Well, I-I didn't say that.

292. Uh, you-you've shown me that as long as I'm having fun

293. I can be anything I want to be.

294. I can be the president of the United States.

295. Porky.

296. Porky Pig is going to be president

297. of the Un-United States.

298. That's nice.

299. 'What are you guys doing here?'

300. We-we used to work here.

301. You're a dentist, too?

302. Lame!

303. W-h-h-hat?

304. All I said was I ne-never noticed

305. the bump on his be-beak before.

306. slurps

307. Meep-meep!

308. I-I'm just so excited about this new chapter in my life.

309. Eh, w-work should be fun. Life should be fun.

310. M-more tea, Diane?

311. Do-do you take cream or sugar?

312. Diane? Do-do you take cream or sugar?

313. D-Diane?

314. 'Diane? Cream or sugar?'

315. 'Diane?'

316. 'Diane?'

317. On a final note..

318. Kids, don't forget to eat your broccoli.

319. It's good for you.