1. I think that everybody has...Copy !req
2. one single best memory of childhood.Copy !req
3. One perfect image that sums up...Copy !req
4. everything that's wonderful
about being a kid.Copy !req
5. I know I do.Copy !req
6. Mine dates back to probably
when I was around 10 years old.Copy !req
7. And it sure as hell has nothing
to do with growing up on a farm.Copy !req
8. No. My best memory is
of my family's old Zenith.Copy !req
9. Every afternoon
after school and chores...Copy !req
10. and more chores...Copy !req
11. I'd watch TV, all three channels of it...Copy !req
12. and I'd escape.Copy !req
13. There was Bozo the Clown.Copy !req
14. And Captain Kangaroo.
He was cool.Copy !req
15. There was Shari Lewis
and Lamb Chop.Copy !req
16. And they were like good friends
who were always looking out for me.Copy !req
17. Good friends that helped me
grow up strong and true...Copy !req
18. and who would never make fun of my hair.Copy !req
19. These old shows were comforting.Copy !req
20. They made me feel good
about the world I was growing up in.Copy !req
21. And none made me feel better
than Cap'n Toby.Copy !req
22. Ahoy, little mateys.
Welcome aboard Cap'n Toby's tugboat.Copy !req
23. Ahoy, mateys. Hi, Cap'n Toby.Copy !req
24. Ahoy there, Sebastian.Copy !req
25. For my money, he was the best.Copy !req
26. Cap'n Toby and his first mate,
Clarence the Crab.Copy !req
27. Maybe it's because
I grew up in landlocked Nebraska...Copy !req
28. that I dug his show so much.Copy !req
29. Or maybe it's just that
he was so decent, so true blue...Copy !req
30. that I'd give anything
to ship off with him.Copy !req
31. - This is an anchor, kiddies.
- He made my childhood bearable.Copy !req
32. He was someone I could trust growing up,
someone I could count on.Copy !req
33. Yeah, it's a heavy thing, you know?Copy !req
34. Mr. Tobalowski,
will you give us a statement?Copy !req
35. - Excuse me!
- Please, sir. Can I have a statement?Copy !req
36. What do you say to these charges?Copy !req
37. Would you like to defend yourself, sir?
Anything to say?Copy !req
38. - Cap'n Toby!
- Any statement at all, Mr. Tobalowski? Sir?Copy !req
39. Excuse me, sir.
Could you look this way?Copy !req
40. Growing up.Copy !req
41. Man, it's a bitch.Copy !req
42. Hey.Copy !req
43. Hey. A little help here, guy, huh?Copy !req
44. Pancakes are getting cold.Copy !req
45. Man, every morning.
Glad I'm not married to you three.Copy !req
46. I'm sorry if you feel neglected, Jimmy,
but it's part of the job.Copy !req
47. Part of the job?Copy !req
48. What? Reading a bunch of papers?Copy !req
49. Reading between the lines.
Picking up on the stories...Copy !req
50. the so-called "legitimate press"
let slip through the cracks.Copy !req
51. Shaking out the pizza coupons...Copy !req
52. and then panning for a little nugget
of truth amongst the dross.Copy !req
53. It's a metaphor.Copy !req
54. Yeah, gotcha. Pizza coupons.Copy !req
55. These guys have to report
the stories they've been handed.Copy !req
56. Plus they all work for the man...Copy !req
57. so their coverage only goes so deep.Copy !req
58. Sometimes the truth lies beneath.Copy !req
59. That's why we try
and read between the lines.Copy !req
60. Count me in. So what do we do?Copy !req
61. Look for, like, clues
and hidden meanings and whatnot?Copy !req
62. Uh, not quite.
That's not really what we meant.Copy !req
63. Sure it is. Here, check out the comics.
And pipe down already.Copy !req
64. Guys, the Wizard of Id.Copy !req
65. In the first box,
the king has three jewels in his crown.Copy !req
66. - In the next box, four.Copy !req
67. Huh? What's up with that?Copy !req
68. Oh, baby!
This is what I was talking about.Copy !req
69. Yesterday's Glen Burnie Suburbanite,
the obituary section.Copy !req
70. "Adam Vaughn, age 35, of Glen Burnie,
succumbed to a heart attack.Copy !req
71. "He was a member of the International
Brotherhood of Stage Technicians...Copy !req
72. Local 614."Copy !req
73. Now, yesterday's
Suburna Park Monitor.Copy !req
74. "Eric Rice, age 33,
dead of a heart attack.Copy !req
75. He was a member of the International
Brotherhood of Stage Technicians, Local 614. "Copy !req
76. - You're thinking murder?
- Well...Copy !req
77. I don't get it. I mean, yeah...Copy !req
78. I get that they're both pretty young
for heart attacks...Copy !req
79. but what does that have to do
with them being in a union together?Copy !req
80. Organized crime possibly.Copy !req
81. Oh, it gets better. I got a list of 911 calls
from the Glen Burnie Fire Department.Copy !req
82. Those two union guys, Vaughn and Rice...Copy !req
83. both had their heart attacks the same day
at the same mall.Copy !req
84. Now there's reading between the lines.Copy !req
85. So, like always...Copy !req
86. I come down here to have a smoke, right?Copy !req
87. As soon as I got off the elevator,
I see this dude who bumped into me, right?Copy !req
88. He's lying right over there, dead.Copy !req
89. - And the other one was over this way...Copy !req
90. Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Easy, easy.Copy !req
91. Stupid shoes.
Anyway, the other dude was right there.Copy !req
92. And, uh, nobody else was around?Copy !req
93. Nobody. So I figured
old Rosie must've just missed it.Copy !req
94. - Who's Rosie?
- I call her that.Copy !req
95. This chick I see in the mall every so often.
She wears these funky rose-colored sunglasses.Copy !req
96. She was on the elevator
that me and the dude were trying to catch.Copy !req
97. - What's her real name?
- I don't know.Copy !req
98. But she did say "hi'to me one time.Copy !req
99. What can I say?
I catch the ladies checking me out, you know?Copy !req
100. - Oh, yeah.
- Hey, the suit speaks for itself, boys.Copy !req
101. Frohike, you got something?Copy !req
102. - What'd you find?
- Nothin'.Copy !req
103. Well, anyway, guys, I gotta hit it, all right?Copy !req
104. - Right on. Thanks.
- Hey, keep on truckin', huh?Copy !req
105. Whoa! Whoa! Aaah!Copy !req
106. Dude, you all right?Copy !req
107. - What the hell is this?
- A children's program, I assume.Copy !req
108. At any rate, it's where our
two deceased stagehands worked.Copy !req
109. - It looks like a bad theme restaurant.
- Oh, pardon me.Copy !req
110. - Oh, my God. Cap'n Toby.Copy !req
111. That was Cap'n Toby!
This is... This is The Cap'n Toby Show!Copy !req
112. I can't believe it!Copy !req
113. But why don't I even recognize it?Copy !req
114. What the hell did they do to it?Copy !req
115. What? "The New Cap'n Toby Show"?Copy !req
116. What does that mean?Copy !req
117. I don't know, Langly,
but can we stick to the task at hand?Copy !req
118. - Excuse me.
- Oh, man! Clarence the Crab!Copy !req
119. Huh. Right. Sir, can you point us
to someone in charge?Copy !req
120. Il Duce's right over there.Copy !req
121. Sorry. John Gillnitz.
He's the writer-producer.Copy !req
122. Mr. Gillnitz, I'm John Byers.
This is my associate, Richard Langly.Copy !req
123. Hold on one second, guys. Everybody ready?Copy !req
124. - All set.
- Roll tape.Copy !req
125. Rolling.Copy !req
126. And action, Toby. Give it a smile.Copy !req
127. Ahoy, little mateys.
Watch The New Cap'n Toby Show...Copy !req
128. weekday mornings at 7:00
on this station.Copy !req
129. Till then, put the wind at your backs...Copy !req
130. and a song in your hearts.Copy !req
131. - Smooth sailing.
- And cut.Copy !req
132. Uh, Toby, about the pipe.
Could we try one without it?Copy !req
133. What's wrong with the pipe?Copy !req
134. Everybody take five.Copy !req
135. Well, an argument could be made
that it promotes smoking.Copy !req
136. John, it's a bubble pipe.Copy !req
137. An argument could be made
that it promotes blowing bubbles.Copy !req
138. Look, Cap'n Toby has a pipe.
I mean, I've had a pipe for 31 years.Copy !req
139. The pipe and the magic porthole routine...Copy !req
140. are about the only things left
from the early days.Copy !req
141. And they're
both great... time-honored.Copy !req
142. Speaking of the magic porthole routine...Copy !req
143. - No, please...
- I just have to reiterate...Copy !req
144. that it doesn't make logical sense
for a nuclear submarine...Copy !req
145. to have a porthole, that's all.Copy !req
146. I say, let's go cutting edge,
do something with holograms.Copy !req
147. - I have to lie down.
- It'll be great, Toby. I promise.Copy !req
148. Edit the pipe off the end of that promo
and ship it.Copy !req
149. - What can I do for you guys?
- We're print journalists.Copy !req
150. - We have a few questions for you.
- Journalists?Copy !req
151. You plan to write about our little show?
Excellent.Copy !req
152. Well, it's a genuine success story...Copy !req
153. sort of a zero-to-hero,
"Little Engine That Could" kind of thing.Copy !req
154. What happened to the tugboat?
Cap'n Toby lives on a tugboat.Copy !req
155. Not anymore. Now he's the captain
of a nuclear-powered submarine.Copy !req
156. It's a great set, huh?Copy !req
157. It's one of the changes
I made when I came aboard.Copy !req
158. He lives on a tugboat.Copy !req
159. Mr. Gillnitz, you had two stagehands...Copy !req
160. who worked for you...
Adam Vaughn and Eric Rice.Copy !req
161. Oh. Yeah. God. Uh, terrible.Copy !req
162. Although they didn't pass away here,
I've gotta stress.Copy !req
163. Your story doesn't focus on them, does it?Copy !req
164. They only worked here for a couple of weeks.Copy !req
165. Our story is about your show.
Uh, your... its triumphs, its tragedies.Copy !req
166. Anything you can tell us may be useful.Copy !req
167. Um, maybe we could see their personnel files?Copy !req
168. Blood. We're talking definite murder weapon.Copy !req
169. Blood. We're talking definite murder weapon.Copy !req
170. That's gotta be some heavy duty poison.Copy !req
171. Get away from me. I mean it.Copy !req
172. What? I'm just looking.Copy !req
173. This is deadly, deadly poison.Copy !req
174. I don't want you sneezing
or having a spasm or something.Copy !req
175. No sudden moves.
God only knows what could happen.Copy !req
176. I'm not moving. I'm standing still.Copy !req
177. Just back off two big steps!
You're making me nervous.Copy !req
178. Gee, you're making me nervous.Copy !req
179. Stay there.Copy !req
180. I'm just gonna have a look at this...Copy !req
181. under higher magnification.Copy !req
182. Okay.Copy !req
183. Okay.Copy !req
184. - Frohike?
- Jimmy, you gotta suck out the poison.Copy !req
185. What? Can't you reach?Copy !req
186. - Do it... now!Copy !req
187. What in the hell are you doing?Copy !req
188. Yves, Frohike's been poisoned.
We gotta get him to a hospital.Copy !req
189. I'm about to keel over.Copy !req
190. No, you're not. I am, but you're not.Copy !req
191. Where's that dart you called me about?Copy !req
192. Uh...Copy !req
193. I don't understand. It's deadly poison.Copy !req
194. It was deadly poison.Copy !req
195. This particular formulation
has a potency of about two hours...Copy !req
196. after which, it degrades
into little more than saltwater.Copy !req
197. It makes it appear
the victim died of a heart attack.Copy !req
198. I've only heard about this.
I've never actually seen it.Copy !req
199. It's rumored to be Red Chinese.Copy !req
200. Why was some high-tech Chinese poison
used to kill two local stagehands?Copy !req
201. Ahoy, mateys. Cap'n Toby here.Copy !req
202. They've destroyed my childhood.Copy !req
203. - Hello.
- Hi.Copy !req
204. Not you. Hello, as in "Check this out."Copy !req
205. Guess whojust happened to be
working for theJustice Department...Copy !req
206. Dead stagehand number one.Copy !req
207. - Dead stagehand number two.
- Both of them moonlighted as the feds...Copy !req
208. or the other way around?Copy !req
209. - Find something?
- Big time.Copy !req
210. We ran a facial recognition off the photos
we snagged from their personnel files.Copy !req
211. Turns out Vaughn and Rice were a couple
of F.B.I. agents named Jacox and Labec.Copy !req
212. - F.B.I.?
- Intelligence Division, Chinese Analytical Unit.Copy !req
213. Chinese? Just like the poison in the dart.Copy !req
214. What in the hell are the F.B.I. doing
working undercover at The Cap'n Toby Show?Copy !req
215. Counterespionage agents killed by
what Yves described as a professional.Copy !req
216. A spy? A spy ring?Copy !req
217. A Chinese spy ring
operating out of a kids' TVshow?Copy !req
218. It doesn't make any sense.
What are they gonna report on...Copy !req
219. the superiority of American hand puppets?Copy !req
220. Every spy has a cover.
The more mundane, the better, I suppose.Copy !req
221. So who on that show's the spy?Copy !req
222. Cap'n Toby? Is that what you're suggesting?
You're nuts.Copy !req
223. A fish stinks from the head.Copy !req
224. Langly, we have to consider the possibility.Copy !req
225. There is no possibility.
He's as true-blue as apple pie!Copy !req
226. What... What about that creep producer,
Gillnitz...Copy !req
227. the one who made him live in a submarine, huh?Copy !req
228. What is that about?Copy !req
229. Buddy, we are sitting on one humongous story.Copy !req
230. So you better know
whoever's the bad guy on that little U-boat...Copy !req
231. even if it is the captain...Copy !req
232. we are going to torpedo him
right out of the water.Copy !req
233. - Hip...
- Hop.Copy !req
234. - Hop? Hop, hop?
- Hip-hop.Copy !req
235. It's called hip-hop. It's great. You'll love it.Copy !req
236. It's vital. It's the rhythm of the street.Copy !req
237. Street? What street? Whose street?Copy !req
238. John, why do we need new theme music?Copy !req
239. And why is this the first I'm hearing of it?Copy !req
240. I sent you a memo. And, Toby...Copy !req
241. we need a new theme song
because hip-hop is what the kids want...Copy !req
242. not calliope music.Copy !req
243. - Back me up. You heard it.
- I thought it was crap, and I don't even have ears.Copy !req
244. - Sorry.Copy !req
245. Look, Toby. You hired me...Copy !req
246. so that you don't have to
think about this stuff anymore.Copy !req
247. You wanna connect with today's kids?
Sit back and let me show you how.Copy !req
248. Ah, welcome back!Copy !req
249. Perfect timing.Copy !req
250. We brought our photographer,
if that's all right.Copy !req
251. Absolutely. We can all do this in my office.
It's sort of the nerve center.Copy !req
252. We were hoping he could wander around,
get a couple candid shots.Copy !req
253. - You know, cast and crew.
- While we talked.Copy !req
254. Oh, sure. Save some film for me.Copy !req
255. Kidding!Copy !req
256. I spy with my little eye.Copy !req
257. Which one of you is the spy?Copy !req
258. Oh. Uh...Copy !req
259. - Hi.
- What are you doing in here?Copy !req
260. I wanna see Cap'n Toby.Copy !req
261. Oh. Okay.Copy !req
262. Well, his, uh, show's about to start.Copy !req
263. You wouldn't wanna miss that,
would you? Hmm?Copy !req
264. - Hmm?Copy !req
265. - Oh, excuse me! Excuse me!
All right. Okay. All right.Copy !req
266. There are dumb plans,
and then there are dumb plans.Copy !req
267. And then there's this.Copy !req
268. I can't believe you
talked me into coming here.Copy !req
269. What? This woman
with the rose-colored glasses...Copy !req
270. may have been involved in these murders.Copy !req
271. Obviously it is important that we find her...Copy !req
272. or the guys wouldn't have sent me.Copy !req
273. Jimmy, when I say dumb, I'm referring to
the fact that you're dressed as a frankfurter.Copy !req
274. I'm undercover.Copy !req
275. Hey, the Weiner Man sees this lady all the time
from this vantage point.Copy !req
276. And he's out with a broken arm.
It's not a dumb plan.Copy !req
277. It's a great plan.Copy !req
278. - Pig in a blanket? It's pig-a-licious.
- No, thanks.Copy !req
279. No? All right then.Copy !req
280. Furthermore, if this woman actually did
have something to do with the two murders...Copy !req
281. she'd be foolish to return to the crime scene.Copy !req
282. Hello.Copy !req
283. Hello?Copy !req
284. No. "Hello" as in...Copy !req
285. Hello as in what?Copy !req
286. - Look...Copy !req
287. Hey. How about some money?
You... You want some money?Copy !req
288. - Money's good, huh?Copy !req
289. Give you money? Hey.Copy !req
290. - Cap'n.Copy !req
291. Uh, you got a little fan here.Copy !req
292. Ohh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
What a fine voice you have.Copy !req
293. Tell me. What's your name?Copy !req
294. - Mary.
- Mary.Copy !req
295. Well, that's a lovely name.
Tell Cap'n Toby why you were screaming, Mary.Copy !req
296. He's creepy.Copy !req
297. Uh, uh-huh.Copy !req
298. I wanted to see you.Copy !req
299. Oh. I'll tell you what.
Let's go find your mommy.Copy !req
300. I understand she's looking for you.Copy !req
301. Then we're gonna put you
in a seat down front.Copy !req
302. You can see the show
and not miss a thing.Copy !req
303. How's that sound?Copy !req
304. Uh, Cap'n? I... I'm a photographer,
by the way.Copy !req
305. We... We're doing a story
on the show.Copy !req
306. Uh-huh.Copy !req
307. Come on, Mary.
Let's find your mom.Copy !req
308. Ancient Chinese secret, huh?Copy !req
309. Yves, red-tinted glasses,
just like the guy said.Copy !req
310. Where?Copy !req
311. Koko's Copy Center.
She's standing in line.Copy !req
312. I'm on my way.Copy !req
313. She's coming out of the copy center.
She's heading to the east end of the mall.Copy !req
314. It's possible she spotted me.Copy !req
315. No. How?Copy !req
316. Uh-uh, lady.
You don't lose me that easy.Copy !req
317. - Are you all right? Jimmy?
- Yeah.Copy !req
318. Oh, God! I'm bleeding.Copy !req
319. It's raspberry filling.Copy !req
320. Mmm. Did she get away?Copy !req
321. Apparently not.Copy !req
322. I'm a federal agent.
I want these two detained.Copy !req
323. Keep this on until you get to a doctor.Copy !req
324. And see one,
because I'm pretty sure you cracked a rib.Copy !req
325. - Better if we take him with us.
- Bye.Copy !req
326. So, Mr. Weiner...Copy !req
327. who are you
and why are you following me?Copy !req
328. Who says he was following you?
Who am I talking to anyway?Copy !req
329. Why do I have to answer your questions?
Am I under arrest?Copy !req
330. I'm Agent Blythe of the C.I.A.Copy !req
331. And I'm not talking to you.
I am talking to Mr. Weiner.Copy !req
332. I'm an investigative journalist...Copy !req
333. investigating two murders here.Copy !req
334. And I have a source
that places you at the scene.Copy !req
335. Weiner number one,
I assume.Copy !req
336. What do you know
about the two dead men?Copy !req
337. They were F.B.I. agents.Copy !req
338. Officially. But was that
where their loyalties lay?Copy !req
339. You're telling us
they were double agents?Copy !req
340. I'm certainly not
telling you anything.Copy !req
341. This is a sensitive matter
concerning national security.Copy !req
342. I am illustrating to you how little you
really do know about the situation at hand.Copy !req
343. And I'm warning you...Copy !req
344. that you're interfering with the combined
efforts of the C.I.A. and the F.B.I.Copy !req
345. Now, I need to know
everything you know.Copy !req
346. And I need to know
who else knows it.Copy !req
347. I wouldn't stonewall here,
Miss Harlow.Copy !req
348. It's not healthy for your privacy.Copy !req
349. Yeah. I know who you are.Copy !req
350. Show me how badly
you want to keep it a secret.Copy !req
351. Leave her alone.Copy !req
352. I'll tell you what you want to know.Copy !req
353. What goes "moo"?Copy !req
354. A cow!Copy !req
355. A cow, that's who!Copy !req
356. What goes "neigh"?Copy !req
357. A horse!Copy !req
358. A horse, of course!Copy !req
359. I ask you...
does it make any sense whatsoever...Copy !req
360. to see livestock
out the porthole of a nuclear submarine?Copy !req
361. A sea horse!Copy !req
362. There's no talking to him sometimes.Copy !req
363. Uh-oh. I guess you see what that says.Copy !req
364. Bye-bye.Copy !req
365. That's right.
Well, till next time, mateys...Copy !req
366. put the wind at your backs
and a song in your hearts.Copy !req
367. - Smooth sailing.
- And up comes the music.Copy !req
368. What is that?Copy !req
369. A little extra insurance
against channel changing.Copy !req
370. Not to toot my own horn,
but in the three years I've been here...Copy !req
371. our ratings average
has grown from a.8 to a 1.1.Copy !req
372. Plus we sold
into foreign syndication last year.Copy !req
373. It's exciting to think we've got
all these new little eyes on us...Copy !req
374. all over Europe and China.Copy !req
375. - China?
- Can you believe it?Copy !req
376. They'll love that hip-hop.
Let me tell you; it travels.Copy !req
377. - China. Is that your idea?
- Yeah. Not to toot my own horn.Copy !req
378. Guys, can I talk to you for a sec?Copy !req
379. - I've got some time now
if you wanted to snap some photos.
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
380. I was thinking we'd wait till magic hour:
sunset on the roof, thing of beauty. Guys?Copy !req
381. I say we got our man.Copy !req
382. The big question was
why someone spying for China...Copy !req
383. would operate out
of a children's TV show?Copy !req
384. Well, what if that show
was being broadcast in China?Copy !req
385. It's a conduit for information.Copy !req
386. Whatever secrets are being passed...Copy !req
387. could be broadcast
through the show itself...Copy !req
388. encrypted into the music
or the video signal.Copy !req
389. Exactly. There's a million ways
to hide it.Copy !req
390. And it's low profile.
A kids' show would go right under the radar.Copy !req
391. It's likeJimmy looking for hidden messages
inside the Wizard of Id.Copy !req
392. Only this time it's real.Copy !req
393. Man, I knew it was Gillnitz.Copy !req
394. Well, except it isn't.Copy !req
395. What the hell are you talking about?Copy !req
396. I found this in Cap'n Toby's coat.Copy !req
397. Now, I don't know what it says,
but it sure as hell isn't Yiddish.Copy !req
398. Sorry, Langly, but I think your captain's
sailing for the other side.Copy !req
399. No. No way.Copy !req
400. I don't believe it. Look at him.
There's no way he could sell out America.Copy !req
401. F.B.I. We have a warrant
to search the premises.Copy !req
402. - Folks, just bear with us,
please. -And what is this?Copy !req
403. Hopefully this won't take long.Copy !req
404. Everybody, we ask you to stay put,
stay calm.Copy !req
405. We apologize for the inconvenience.Copy !req
406. What the hell's going on here?
Excuse me. Excuse me!Copy !req
407. - Can somebody please tell me
what's going on here?
- I'm sorry, guys. I gave it up.Copy !req
408. We're here to serve
a search warrant.Copy !req
409. Oh, now, Mary, don't you worry.
Everything's gonna be fine.Copy !req
410. We're going to find your mommy.
Everything's gonna be just fine.Copy !req
411. Got it. Microfilm.
It was hidden in his dressing room.Copy !req
412. - Fred Tobalowski.
- Yeah?Copy !req
413. You're under arrest
on the charge of espionage.Copy !req
414. You have the right to remain silent.Copy !req
415. Anything you say can and will
be used against you in a court oflaw.Copy !req
416. You have the right to speak to an attorney and
have an attorney present during questioning.Copy !req
417. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be
provided for you at government expense.Copy !req
418. Do you understand these rights?Copy !req
419. Shocking news out of Maryland today...Copy !req
420. as children's television host
Cap'n Toby, Fred Tobalowski...Copy !req
421. was arrested
on federal charges of espionage.Copy !req
422. The F.B.I. alleges
that Tobalowski...Copy !req
423. working with
unidentified coconspirators...Copy !req
424. used his television show
to pass U.S. counterintelligence secrets...Copy !req
425. to the government of China.Copy !req
426. No motive has been suggested
for his alleged actions...Copy !req
427. although it is known
that Tobalowski's wife of 18 years...Copy !req
428. is a naturalized Chinese immigrant.Copy !req
429. Calls to the couple's suburban
Baltimore home have gone unanswered.Copy !req
430. - And now for further news,
let's go to field reporter...Copy !req
431. I stuck it to my own childhood hero.Copy !req
432. I helped lead the feds right to him.Copy !req
433. I'm like...
the worst kind of rat.Copy !req
434. I don't believe it.Copy !req
435. Two dead F.B.I. agents.
There's no way he could've had a hand in that.Copy !req
436. Well, either way, the mainstream media
kicked our butts on this one.Copy !req
437. They definitely beat us to the story.
That's for certain.Copy !req
438. They beat you to a story,
but perhaps not the whole story.Copy !req
439. What do you have, Yves?Copy !req
440. This document Frohike found.Copy !req
441. The translation isn't complete yet...Copy !req
442. but it's clearly not
counterintelligence secrets.Copy !req
443. - What is it then?
- My best guess? A recipe for pot stickers...Copy !req
444. with quite too much ginger for my taste.Copy !req
445. The guy's wife is Chinese, right?Copy !req
446. Could be hers.Copy !req
447. I mean, his wife being Chinese
doesn't make either of them bad guys.Copy !req
448. No. But the microfilm
they found in his dressing room does.Copy !req
449. I've been thinking about that.Copy !req
450. I searched that dressing room
before the feds got there, and I never found it.Copy !req
451. I mean, it's possible I missed it, but...Copy !req
452. It's possible that
that lady C.I.A. agent planted it.Copy !req
453. Which means that she's the traitor...Copy !req
454. and she'd do anything to hide it.Copy !req
455. And we have to prove it.
But how?Copy !req
456. By answering the question
no one else has managed to answer...Copy !req
457. How exactly were secrets
passed through the show?Copy !req
458. I guess it makes sense.Copy !req
459. Children's TV doesn't pay worth a damn,
that's for sure.Copy !req
460. And that wife of his.
I'm telling you now I never trusted her.Copy !req
461. They're my friends.Copy !req
462. I'm not saying anything about either of them
until I know the facts.Copy !req
463. You never say anything anyway. You're
like the Calvin Coolidge of second bananas.Copy !req
464. Bite me, you hack.Copy !req
465. Okay. You know what?Copy !req
466. Take your Muppet and get outta here.Copy !req
467. I just wish I knew how he did it.Copy !req
468. Right here. This is it.Copy !req
469. So you understand my conundrum?
I write every word of these shows.Copy !req
470. I oversee the costumes, the set deck, everything.
And so I'm wondering...Copy !req
471. How is it that secret information,
in some form or other...Copy !req
472. could be communicated
through my show?Copy !req
473. This is the answer.Copy !req
474. This is the only thing on the show
I have nothing to do with.Copy !req
475. Toby comes up with it
every week. Not me.Copy !req
476. Smart.Copy !req
477. Come here. Take a look at it. You have to
get real close to see what I'm talking about.Copy !req
478. You have to sorta go like this.Copy !req
479. - Mr. Tobalowski, how long...
- Mr. Tobalowski!Copy !req
480. - Why did you do it?
- Sir, what was jail like?Copy !req
481. - My God. Toby.
- Thanks for coming, Wayne.Copy !req
482. Um, sorry about that.
I led them here.Copy !req
483. I had to get them away
from my family.Copy !req
484. - How are you holding up?
- I guess I shouldn't complain.
I was lucky to get bail.Copy !req
485. Wayne...Copy !req
486. I need your help with something.Copy !req
487. Name it. Anything.Copy !req
488. I need to put on a show...
here, today.Copy !req
489. - A show? You want to tape a show?
- Yeah.Copy !req
490. The last one.Copy !req
491. I was hoping you could help me
put a crew together, whoever would show up.Copy !req
492. - What about a script?
- Oh, don't need one.Copy !req
493. What about a studio audience?Copy !req
494. That's the easy part.Copy !req
495. Where's John Gillnitz?Copy !req
496. Ah, he probably jumped ship...
or in this case, submarine.Copy !req
497. Not be here for the highest rated episode
of The Cap'n Toby Show ever?Copy !req
498. Well, I'm gonna nose around.Copy !req
499. When you saw Agent Blythe at the mall,
where was she?Copy !req
500. Uh, a copy shop... Koko's.Copy !req
501. What was she doing?Copy !req
502. I don't know.
She was standing in line.Copy !req
503. And then she saw me and she left.Copy !req
504. Oh, there. Hey, Cap'n...Copy !req
505. - Ahoy, little mateys.Copy !req
506. - Mr. Tobalowski, are you ready to deal?
- Do you have any regrets?Copy !req
507. What kind of role model
steals government secrets?Copy !req
508. Mr. Tobalowski, was
your wife the ringleader?Copy !req
509. Sir, do you want to apologize
to the American people?Copy !req
510. - Shhh.Copy !req
511. - Was it worth it?
- Shh-shh-shh.Copy !req
512. That's better. Now one more time.Copy !req
513. Ahoy, little mateys.Copy !req
514. Ahoy, Cap'n Toby.Copy !req
515. All right then.Copy !req
516. - Ma'am? Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
517. - You should have an order
for The Cap'n Toby Show.
- Got it right here.Copy !req
518. Put it on our account.Copy !req
519. - All right.
- Thanks.Copy !req
520. It's for Cap'n Toby's magic porthole.Copy !req
521. It's the artwork for it.
They print one for every show apparently.Copy !req
522. And you think this is the reason
Agent Blythe was here?Copy !req
523. - Why?
- Try these.Copy !req
524. You came here to clean up the evidence.Copy !req
525. Come quietly.Copy !req
526. Well, Clarence, what's the matter?Copy !req
527. You seem kinda glum.Copy !req
528. I don't know. Yeah, I guess.Copy !req
529. I ran into this dolphin the other day...Copy !req
530. and he says France is a lot better than here.Copy !req
531. So what am I living here for
if there's someplace that's better?Copy !req
532. Because this is your home.Copy !req
533. - And there is no place better.
- There's something up in the rafters.Copy !req
534. I can't quite make it out, but it's hanging
from this rope. Help me out here.Copy !req
535. - I believe
our home is the most
special of all. -You got it?Copy !req
536. Because we live in the one place...Copy !req
537. that was built from the ground up
on a great idea...Copy !req
538. that people ought to be free...Copy !req
539. that they should live as they wish
and marry who they wish.Copy !req
540. A lot of people forget that sometimes, and it
doesn't always work the way it's supposed to.Copy !req
541. But the idea is great
and always will be.Copy !req
542. And we should work to keep it that way
and never lose it.Copy !req
543. Not the reaction I'd hoped for.Copy !req
544. The two F.B.I. agents
were onto you.Copy !req
545. Your joint C.I.A. -F.B.I.
investigation...Copy !req
546. was about to discover
that you were the spy.Copy !req
547. So you framed Cap'n Toby...Copy !req
548. which was easy
'cause his wife is Chinese.Copy !req
549. Why?Copy !req
550. - Why'd you do it?
- Stop there.Copy !req
551. I doubt it was ideology.Copy !req
552. I'd say she did it for the money.Copy !req
553. And I'd say it's a bad day
for snotty British know-it-alls.Copy !req
554. Jimmy!Copy !req
555. Kung pao, bitch.Copy !req
556. Jimmy? Jimmy?Copy !req
557. You gonna suck out the poison?Copy !req
558. I think Frohike owes you one.Copy !req
559. So like I said...Copy !req
560. everybody has one single best memory
of childhood.Copy !req
561. That one perfect image...Copy !req
562. that sums up everything wonderful
about being a kid.Copy !req
563. And it's nice to think that mine might be
the same as somebody else's somewhere.Copy !req
564. - Somebody years younger even...Copy !req
565. representing a whole new generation.Copy !req
566. - I mean, who knows?Copy !req
567. - It's possible.
- But all we can do is laugh.Copy !req
568. Even with the competition nowadays...Copy !req
569. 500 channels ofbooty shakin'M. T. V.Copy !req
570. Put the wind at your backs.
And keep that song in your hearts.Copy !req
571. 'Cause even in this bold new century...Copy !req
572. - Thank you, Yves.
- kids need a good friend who's
always looking out for them.Copy !req
573. - Thank you.
- Someone who'll help them
grow up strong and true...Copy !req
574. and who will never make fun
of their hair.Copy !req
575. I'm sorry, young lady.
I forgot your name.Copy !req
576. That last one's important.Copy !req
577. - I made this!Copy !req