1. Hey, Arthur?Copy !req
2. Yeah?Copy !req
3. Um, listen,
I don't mean to push,Copy !req
4. but, uh, we got an hour
and a half before show time.Copy !req
5. I need Larry to
go over the monologue.Copy !req
6. Thank you, Philip.Copy !req
7. We've got an hour
and 23 minutes till show time,Copy !req
8. which explains the bad
timing of your jokes.Copy !req
9. My timing's fine.Copy !req
10. Oh, good afternoon,
Beverly.Copy !req
11. How far did you
and the fugitive getCopy !req
12. till your conscience
caught up with you?Copy !req
13. Artie, I've been looking
all over for him myself.Copy !req
14. He was at the back
doctor earlier. That might—Copy !req
15. Shit, he's been to the back
doctor every day this week.Copy !req
16. I hope Larry's back
doesn't fall off.Copy !req
17. Because then, what
would hold up his ass?Copy !req
18. Oh, God, will somebody
help me round him up?Copy !req
19. Hank!Copy !req
20. Hank!
Come on!Copy !req
21. Let's go,
Roseanne's waiting.Copy !req
22. We're going to rehearse
without him.Copy !req
23. Well, if Larry's
not going to rehearse,Copy !req
24. I don't think I should
be forced to rehearse.Copy !req
25. You get your ass out there.Copy !req
26. Okay. Let me
get my script.Copy !req
27. Ah, uh, uh...Copy !req
28. Well, what'd you
bite into?Copy !req
29. It was chicken bone
in a sandwich.
Uh-huh.Copy !req
30. Can you come in
for an x-ray?Copy !req
31. Well, you know,
I'm really busy.Copy !req
32. I don't know when
I can get in there.
Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
33. Well, you're a very busy man.
Why don't I just give you
something for the painCopy !req
34. until you can
schedule an appointment?Copy !req
35. Yeah? I don't mind, you know,
toughing it out. Oww!Copy !req
36. Oh. Will, uh,
10 tablets hold you?Copy !req
37. Yeah. 10 what?Copy !req
38. Pernacet.Copy !req
39. 15 would be good and probably
hold me over till— Oww!Copy !req
40. Well, no problem.Copy !req
41. Why don't you make it
an even 20?Copy !req
42. 'Cause this thing's gonna
flare up at night.
I just know it.Copy !req
43. Okay.
Thanks a lot.Copy !req
44. I really appreciate
you coming over.Copy !req
45. Call me whenever
you need me.Copy !req
46. I'll talk to you around
6:00 tonight? Good.Copy !req
47. That's funny, you should
have your own talk show.Copy !req
48. Wow.Copy !req
49. There you are.Copy !req
50. Artie's going crazy
looking for you.
I'm sitting right here.Copy !req
51. Take it easy, I'm not
hiding out or anything.Copy !req
52. Well, they need you.
They need you down on stage
Fine!Copy !req
53. for rehearsal with
Hank and Roseanne.
I'm coming.Copy !req
54. You're up to three
of those now?Copy !req
55. That— that is
the recommended dosage.Copy !req
56. Yeah, for
a 1,500-pound man.Copy !req
57. Oh, well, I've never been
so insulted in my life.Copy !req
58. Uh... Larry, are you okay?Copy !req
59. Everything is fine.Copy !req
60. I just have a pain in my back
that doesn't go away,
and I'll be f...Copy !req
61. Well, you're not
gonna see it.Copy !req
62. I'm sorry.Copy !req
63. Hey, who is that?Copy !req
64. Uh...Copy !req
65. Did you pick up that
prescription for me?Copy !req
66. Lar, I tried,
but the pharmacist saidCopy !req
67. they can't fill it up again.Copy !req
68. Well, that's... bullshit.
That is bullshit.Copy !req
69. They can only fill it up
three times, Larry.Copy !req
70. Well, then— they already
filled it up five times,Copy !req
71. so obviously they're lying,
so just go back.Copy !req
72. Clinton's right.Copy !req
73. The health care system in
this country is just all fucked.Copy !req
74. Lar—Copy !req
75. Dammit. I told propsCopy !req
76. that I needed
a flammable animal.Copy !req
77. Oh, so, Larry,
right on time as usual.Copy !req
78. Everything okay, my boy?
Yeah.Copy !req
79. Why is everybody asking meCopy !req
80. if everything's okay today?
I mean, uh—Copy !req
81. And they say television
people don't care.Copy !req
82. Will you take a gander
at Paula's excellent questions?Copy !req
83. Phil will put your
favorite jokes on the card.Copy !req
84. The chair is not
the right height.Copy !req
85. We need to have it adjusted.
Bobby!Copy !req
86. Uh, Hank and Roseanne,
we're waiting for them.Copy !req
87. They're just getting dressedCopy !req
88. and they'll be right in
for rehearsal.Copy !req
89. Where's his hat?
There's a fire chief da—Copy !req
90. Bobby!Copy !req
91. Where's Larry's
fireman hat?Copy !req
92. I don't need
the fucking hat!Copy !req
93. I gotta get the chair
adjusted.Copy !req
94. Look, I'm low, m— I'm not gonna
be seen above the animals.Copy !req
95. Could we get the—
Just stand up.Copy !req
96. It's a quarter
of an inch low.Copy !req
97. Stand up, will you?Copy !req
98. I can't stand up
the whole show, can I?Copy !req
99. Then I'd be, uh...Copy !req
100. Alex Trebek?Copy !req
101. Alex Trebek.Copy !req
102. No. I'm just saying,
uh, you know,Copy !req
103. so Bobby can
adjust the chair.Copy !req
104. Bobby. Bobby. Who gives
a shit about Bobby?Copy !req
105. Maybe we need
a new chair adjuster.Copy !req
106. Have you ever
thought of that?Copy !req
107. Yeah.
Because someone has been
sitting in my chair.Copy !req
108. Maybe it's Mama Bear.Copy !req
109. Talentless fat fuck.Copy !req
110. Just worry about the couchCopy !req
111. and trying not to fuck up,
all right?Copy !req
112. Where you goin', Lar?Copy !req
113. I'm going to do the show
in my car where the seatsCopy !req
114. are adjusted properly.Copy !req
115. We'll find you there?Copy !req
116. Hey, he was just kidding
around, you know.Copy !req
117. Jesus! What the hell's wrong
with Larry?Copy !req
118. Whoo! What a delightful bride
of Christ you make, Roseanne.Copy !req
119. Yeah. He thinks so, too.Copy !req
120. Hey.Copy !req
121. So what's up with Larry?Copy !req
122. It's prescription
pain killers, isn't it?Copy !req
123. I've talked to Larry
about going cold turkey,Copy !req
124. but as far as we can get is
to a modified rationing program.Copy !req
125. You guys go way back,
don't you?Copy !req
126. You worked in the clubs.
Mm.Copy !req
127. Maybe you and I could
sit him down and talk to him.Copy !req
128. Jeez, I don't know, Artie.Copy !req
129. I mean, I think it's gonna take
a lot more than just talk.Copy !req
130. Jesus!Copy !req
131. This place looks like
the stock room at Upjohn.Copy !req
132. Yeah, another jackpot
in the guest crapper.Copy !req
133. You know, um...Copy !req
134. this prescription
has your name on it, Arthur.Copy !req
135. Oh, well, uh...
Oh, these are placebos.Copy !req
136. Part of that modified rationing
program I told you about.
Listen to me.Copy !req
137. What?
The pills in this box
were all prescribedCopy !req
138. by a licensed medical dentistCopy !req
139. for a very painful
bridge problem.Copy !req
140. He told me root canal.Copy !req
141. Okay, so I'm not an expert
in periodontics.Copy !req
142. Are you?
I need these.Copy !req
143. You know, Larry,
I used to go to threeCopy !req
144. or four dentists
a week myself.Copy !req
145. Uh-huh.
Including Dr. Beckerman.Copy !req
146. Dr. Beckerman?Copy !req
147. I don't know that name.
It's not familiar to me.Copy !req
148. Come on.Copy !req
149. Oh.Copy !req
150. Oh, look at this.Copy !req
151. Yeah?Copy !req
152. A bottle of Pernacet
half-empty.Copy !req
153. Or half-full, depending
on how you look at it.Copy !req
154. What else?Copy !req
155. Well, just a bunch of
ugly sweatshirts.Copy !req
156. Oh, boy, those
things are loaded.Copy !req
157. Check the pockets
and the hoods.Copy !req
158. Oh, here he comes.Copy !req
159. And another thing.
Yes?Copy !req
160. You cannot keep me
in my own house.Copy !req
161. I don't care
what you say.Copy !req
162. Who do you think
I am, huh?Copy !req
163. Patty Hearst?
Patty Hearst?Copy !req
164. Listen, you're gonna have
to stay in your own houseCopy !req
165. because we can't put you
in rehab, Sonny boy,
Uh-huh.Copy !req
166. because we've already
used that excuse.Copy !req
167. If we do it again, I, well—
I guarantee you,Copy !req
168. Fox will make a TV movie about
you before the end of the year.Copy !req
169. Oh, fuckers!Copy !req
170. I'll have to go
with him on that one.Copy !req
171. Ha ha. No, Melody,
it's not pelvic, it's ocular.Copy !req
172. It's a minor eye infection.Copy !req
173. Yes, he'll be out
till Monday.Copy !req
174. No, we're working onCopy !req
175. finding a guest host
right now.Copy !req
176. Yeah, we'll give you
his name in a mom'. Ta-ta.Copy !req
177. Who?
Martin Mull.Copy !req
178. Threatens Larry.
Mike Myers.Copy !req
179. Threatens Larry.
Tony Danza.Copy !req
180. Threatens Larry.Copy !req
181. Pat Sajak.Copy !req
182. Thanks.
Thank you very much.Copy !req
183. Thanks a lot.
Thank you.Copy !req
184. Well, it— it's just
a real pleasure to be hereCopy !req
185. with such a fine group
of people.Copy !req
186. Now, I know I don't know
all your names,Copy !req
187. so, you know,
if I call you "hey, you,"
don't be offended.Copy !req
188. In fact, you can call me,
"hey, you," if you'd like.Copy !req
189. They made me book him
'cause he's the only oneCopy !req
190. who doesn't threaten Larry.Copy !req
191. That's not nice.Copy !req
192. He does so
threaten Larry.Copy !req
193. Anyway, bear with meCopy !req
194. because I get the hang
of things quickly and...Copy !req
195. Bev, when exactly did Larry
start taking these pillsCopy !req
196. on an hourly basis?Copy !req
197. Artie, number one
on my job descriptionCopy !req
198. is to keep Larry's
secrets to myself.Copy !req
199. That's rule number one.Copy !req
200. What's rule number two,Copy !req
201. filling his prescriptions
as soon as possible, hmm?Copy !req
202. Now, I'd like everyone
to forgetCopy !req
203. that I once hosted
a late night talk show.Copy !req
204. I know I certainly have.Copy !req
205. What was it again?Copy !req
206. "Talentless fat fuck," right?Copy !req
207. Pat Sajak:
I catch onto things quickly.Copy !req
208. Yes. Very hurtful.Copy !req
209. Not entirely accurate.Copy !req
210. I've lost upwards
of 14 pounds.Copy !req
211. Oh, so—
so "talentless fuck"Copy !req
212. would have been
more appropriate.Copy !req
213. You're a skinny little shit.Copy !req
214. Pat Sajak:
So again,Copy !req
215. thank you all very much.Copy !req
216. Let's hear it!Copy !req
217. All right, dismissed.Copy !req
218. Let's be careful out there
tonight, people.Copy !req
219. Arthur, excuse me, but what's
really wrong with Larry?Copy !req
220. Just between you and me.
Laryngitis.Copy !req
221. For a week?Copy !req
222. Uh, and a stomach virus.Copy !req
223. Anything else?Copy !req
224. A bad case
of Pat "Sajakitis".Copy !req
225. We're all giddy
with it, my boy.Copy !req
226. I'm sure tonight's audience
will be. Thank you so much.Copy !req
227. If you need anything
from me, just holler.Copy !req
228. You take the yellow book.
I have a piece of paper.Copy !req
229. What we're going
to do is this.Copy !req
230. I would like you to
please turn to any page.Copy !req
231. Okay. This is
highly complex. All right.Copy !req
232. Tell me what the page is.Copy !req
233. I will jot down the page.
don't let me see that...Copy !req
234. You want
the page number?
Correct.Copy !req
235. The page number is...
Is? Yes?Copy !req
236. You're so smart.
You should know.Copy !req
237. I'm gonna jot it down.
21.Copy !req
238. I'm not Kreskin here.Copy !req
239. 21.
21.Copy !req
240. Mm-hmm.
Okay, I want you to look
at the first word.Copy !req
241. The very first word
on that page.Copy !req
242. Now, not the title
of the book.Copy !req
243. No, no.
But the very first word.Copy !req
244. Don't let me see it.
This is legit.Copy !req
245. Now, it happens to be
the title of a chapter.Copy !req
246. Do you want me to start
with the text or the chapter
of the title?Copy !req
247. The title of the chapter
or whatever I'm saying?Copy !req
248. I have no idea what
you're talking about.Copy !req
249. No, the very first word
of the text.
The first word...Copy !req
250. Of the text.
All right, I got it.
Yes.Copy !req
251. All right, now, you'll verifyCopy !req
252. we had nothing prearranged
between us.Copy !req
253. Is that right?
Well, that's painfully obvious.Copy !req
254. When did Sajak
get so fucking funny?Copy !req
255. Huh?
Larry.Copy !req
256. Look, I don't have any deep
reason for taking the pills.Copy !req
257. They just take the edge off
and they help me perform.Copy !req
258. Yeah, and you probably
don't think thatCopy !req
259. they affect you at all, right?Copy !req
260. No, they affect me.
They take the edge offCopy !req
261. and they help me perform.Copy !req
262. But what are
the bad effects?Copy !req
263. I am under a lot
of pressure.Copy !req
264. I host a late night talk show.Copy !req
265. Every night.Copy !req
266. Do you have any idea what
the demands of that are?Copy !req
267. No, none at all.
I only have a top 10 show.
Uh-huh.Copy !req
268. And I was abused as a kid,Copy !req
269. and I spent time in a nuthouse
and sucky marriages,Copy !req
270. and last week,
"Weekly World News"Copy !req
271. ran my head
on the body of a dog.Copy !req
272. No, I have absolutely
no fucking idea.Copy !req
273. I see. So your show's
still in the top 10, huh?Copy !req
274. Well, yeah.Copy !req
275. Until they run
that "Frasier" guy against us.
Yeah.Copy !req
276. All right, look,
you wanna know what it is?Copy !req
277. My second wife got married
and had a, uh, a babyCopy !req
278. and she's very happy,Copy !req
279. and that's a little
difficult for me to deal with.Copy !req
280. You don't think "Frasier" is
that good, do you?Copy !req
281. Tuna burgers, compliments
of Michel Richard.Copy !req
282. They're not supposed
to be microwaved,Copy !req
283. but, uh, c'est la vie.Copy !req
284. That's French for get
'em while they're hot!Copy !req
285. You know, Artie is the guy
you should be talking to.Copy !req
286. Nothing wrong with me.Copy !req
287. Oh, yeah, nothing a little
salty dog can't fix.Copy !req
288. You should see
his filing cabinets.Copy !req
289. It's like a wine cellar
with a— with handles.Copy !req
290. You know what you
put me through?Copy !req
291. I had to listen to
a 45-minute lectureCopy !req
292. from Miss Uptight Anonymous.Copy !req
293. Listen, I gotta
get out of here.Copy !req
294. You know what?
I'm going stir crazy.Copy !req
295. I can't sleep,
gotta get out of here.Copy !req
296. Well, your sweetie pie
agent Stevie is waiting for you.Copy !req
297. That should cheer you up.Copy !req
298. Stevie's here?Copy !req
299. He's out there?
Yeah.Copy !req
300. Ahem.Copy !req
301. Looking for something?Copy !req
302. Where are my sweatshirts?Copy !req
303. We just flushed all that
shit down the disposal.Copy !req
304. Great, now you know
what you've done?Copy !req
305. You forced me to talk to
my agent without a pill.Copy !req
306. Are you aware of that?Copy !req
307. Eventually,
everyone has to, Larry.Copy !req
308. Oh...Copy !req
309. Roseanne is actually sleeping
here while you get better?Copy !req
310. It just blows my mind.Copy !req
311. Yeah.
Why? I mean, what?Copy !req
312. Did you pull her out
of a burning buildingCopy !req
313. at some point, or did you sit
through "She-Devil"?
I— I—Copy !req
314. I don't know,
she's just doing it, you know?Copy !req
315. I don't know why.Copy !req
316. I don't want to sound
like a cheese-ball here,
but, uh, she's a special lady.Copy !req
317. Very bright,
very talented.
Yeah.Copy !req
318. She's with William Morris,
right?Copy !req
319. I don't know.Copy !req
320. Is she happy over there?Copy !req
321. Is she happy with
the representation?
I don't...Copy !req
322. We were talking about
my drug problem.Copy !req
323. Right. Right.Copy !req
324. Thanks for bringing
the basket though.Copy !req
325. Well, I— No, actually,
this is for her.Copy !req
326. Um, your— your basket won't be
ready until tomorrow.Copy !req
327. You like that
sugar-free shit, right?Copy !req
328. Thanks.Copy !req
329. Back with the comedian
Jeff Cesario.Copy !req
330. Any message you'd like
to send Larry, Jeff?Copy !req
331. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Actually, Larry,Copy !req
332. if it's any consolation,Copy !req
333. I, uh, I pulled
my groin once, too,Copy !req
334. and I know how
painful that that can be.Copy !req
335. I heard
he had laryngitis.Copy !req
336. Well, you know,
when you pull your groin,Copy !req
337. your— your voice has
a tendency to go.Copy !req
338. Yeah, or go up
at least, I guess.Copy !req
339. You ain't sharp
behind that shit.Copy !req
340. No, I am so sharp.Copy !req
341. I've been sharp.Copy !req
342. What about the Jamie
Lee Curtis interview?Copy !req
343. Right, that's
a perfect example.Copy !req
344. I thought I was hilarious
with Jamie Lee Curtis.Copy !req
345. I thought I was on my game
and very funny.Copy !req
346. Jamie Lee Curtis has never
been on the show, Larry.Copy !req
347. You know,
those Nike commercials,Copy !req
348. I don't know—
I don't know what they cost,Copy !req
349. but that's the kind we—
we should have one of the guysCopy !req
350. who makes that on the show.Copy !req
351. Christ, am I getting
through to you at all, huh?Copy !req
352. That would be interesting.Copy !req
353. You know, when you were
smoking weed,Copy !req
354. you were kinda funny.Copy !req
355. But I— When you started taking
these percs and bourbon,
The ball is bouncing...Copy !req
356. it's like you're working
behind eight feet of ice!Copy !req
357. It looks like all one shot.Copy !req
358. All right, let us know
when we're close.Copy !req
359. Is it eczema?
Psoriasis?Copy !req
360. Anything in
the skin disease family?Copy !req
361. Jock itch?
You know what?Copy !req
362. Even if you guessed,
I wouldn't tell you.Copy !req
363. He's having
a nose job, right?Copy !req
364. Just say it.Copy !req
365. Oh, my god, Darlene,
did you hear?Copy !req
366. Larry's getting
pectoral implants.Copy !req
367. Oh, that's not funny.Copy !req
368. Shouldn't make fun of
Larry's pain, whatever it is.Copy !req
369. Hank thinks it's
the Santa Ana winds.Copy !req
370. He said Larry's allergic
and his face swells up.Copy !req
371. I think you cut my hair
too short.Copy !req
372. Not on that side,
I didn't.Copy !req
373. What do you mean
not on that side?Copy !req
374. Roseanne?Copy !req
375. Roseanne!Copy !req
376. I'm coming!Copy !req
377. Well, good morning.
Hey, morning.Copy !req
378. What?Copy !req
379. Ah, I found this on
the carpet next to my slipper.Copy !req
380. Get rid of it.
It's not controlling me anymore.Copy !req
381. I'm a new man.Copy !req
382. It's a fucking Tic Tac.Copy !req
383. Oh.Copy !req
384. But that's progress.
Thank you.Copy !req
385. Thank you.Copy !req
386. You know you're next step,
Huh?Copy !req
387. uh, should be
to tell your staff.Copy !req
388. I'm not telling the staff.Copy !req
389. Come on, you're
in recovery nowCopy !req
390. and you're gonna need
a lot of support.Copy !req
391. I can't go through this.Copy !req
392. I'm not— it's none
of their fucking business.Copy !req
393. Well, you're the one
that went on TVCopy !req
394. a year ago and told
the whole countryCopy !req
395. that you were a drug addict
when it wasn't even true.Copy !req
396. That is by far—
That is different.Copy !req
397. There's a big difference.Copy !req
398. First of all, I didn't
have a drug problem.Copy !req
399. I was lying because I was
covering a nervous breakdown.Copy !req
400. Number two,
it was on television,Copy !req
401. so it doesn't mean shit.Copy !req
402. God!Copy !req
403. Come on.Copy !req
404. You tell your staff
everything?Copy !req
405. No! I don't have to!
They go through my garbage.Copy !req
406. Listen, your staff, like it
or not, is like your family.Copy !req
407. Not my staff.
You— you gotta let 'em know.Copy !req
408. No. No. No.Copy !req
409. And that is
the end of the discussion.Copy !req
410. Come on, look. Look.Copy !req
411. I thought you'd all
be at work at 11:00.Copy !req
412. Hey, sport,
it's Saturday.Copy !req
413. Oh, well, still...Copy !req
414. Anyway, I'm glad
you're hereCopy !req
415. because I'd like to tell you
a little something about, uh,Copy !req
416. what's been going on
the last, uh... few days.Copy !req
417. As you can see, I don't
have any laryngitisCopy !req
418. and I don't
have any back problem.Copy !req
419. I have a, uh,Copy !req
420. no problem with my groin,
I'm proud to say.Copy !req
421. But I do have a small,
very tiny...Copy !req
422. Addiction.Copy !req
423. Addiction to prescription
painkillers.Copy !req
424. Drugs.Copy !req
425. Yeah, but prescription
nonetheless.Copy !req
426. I think they're the ones
that anybody could getCopy !req
427. or probably did.Copy !req
428. Anybody takes.
Addicts.Copy !req
429. And, uh, I can't tell you
what it means, uh...Copy !req
430. I guess Pernacet
was the— the main one.Copy !req
431. And the Diazapam.Copy !req
432. I don't remember what
the trade name or street name.Copy !req
433. Red wowies.Copy !req
434. And it means a lot to me
that I— that you care enoughCopy !req
435. to be here today
to see how I'm doing.Copy !req
436. We love you, Larry.Copy !req
437. Yeah, go get 'em, Larry.Copy !req
438. You're my client.Copy !req
439. Pay up, everybody.Copy !req
440. So, Paula, you, uh—
Paula, how much did you win?Copy !req
441. $200.
200, wow! You—Copy !req
442. So you bet that
I had a drug problem.Copy !req
443. Yes, sir.Copy !req
444. Well, consider that
a Christmas bonus.Copy !req
445. Thank you.Copy !req
446. I believe that's 190 more
than you received last year.Copy !req
447. But wait a minute, you were
taking the painkillersCopy !req
448. because of the nose job, right?
So I should win.Copy !req
449. Okay, everybody.
Are we done?Copy !req
450. No, doll. We're just gonna
go down here and sit.Copy !req
451. We're just gonna sit here.Copy !req
452. Come on, sit.
Sit down.Copy !req
453. Ahem. Now...Copy !req
454. an important, uh,
part of this processCopy !req
455. is that we need
to go around the roomCopy !req
456. and everybody needs
to tell LarryCopy !req
457. how his behavior
has hurt them.Copy !req
458. Who wants to go first?Copy !req
459. Good, well, no one
seems to have a problem,Copy !req
460. so, muffins,
and then, uh, out you go.Copy !req
461. Come on, Larry.
Come on, Larry.Copy !req
462. Let us in, come on.Copy !req
463. Anybody?Copy !req
464. Roseanne,Copy !req
465. how'd you like
the muffin basket?Copy !req
466. Stevie, focus.Copy !req
467. Come on. Anyone?Copy !req
468. You know, um,Copy !req
469. it hurt me when you rejected
my gay Evangelist sketch.Copy !req
470. Oh, come on, that—
that sketch was over the top.Copy !req
471. There was a character
named Jerry Fagwell in it.Copy !req
472. Larry, this is not
the time to be judgmental.Copy !req
473. You didn't see it.
You didn't— you
didn't see it.Copy !req
474. That was a piece of garbage,
that sketch.Copy !req
475. You would've probably
liked it.Copy !req
476. As I recall,
it was just— why—Copy !req
477. This is not about me, okay?Copy !req
478. I'm here to help you.Copy !req
479. I'm not the one
with the pill problem,Copy !req
480. you self-destructive asshole.Copy !req
481. Okay, anyone?Copy !req
482. Sorry, Hank, we're out of time.
Darlene?Copy !req
483. It really hurt me when
you called Hank a fat shit.Copy !req
484. No, Darlene,
it was a talentless fat fuck.Copy !req
485. It— it— it all makes sense
to me now.Copy !req
486. What does?Copy !req
487. Well, you know,
when you called me
that hurtful name.Copy !req
488. Oh.
You— you were just
so doped out on drugs,Copy !req
489. you just— you didn't know
what you were saying.Copy !req
490. Hank, that's water
under the bridge.
Hey, no, I—Copy !req
491. I remember, though,
exactly what I was saying.Copy !req
492. It was about the chair
height, wasn't it?Copy !req
493. Yes, right.
Yeah, I said that
the chair was too lowCopy !req
494. Right.
and it needed to be adjusted,
and he called Bobby.Copy !req
495. It's been fixed.
And then I sat
down in the chair,Copy !req
496. and I said "Someone else
has been sitting in my chair."Copy !req
497. Right, and that's when I said—
You said, "Mama Bear."Copy !req
498. Come on, Hank. Hey,
let's go to the Smoke House.
We'll bring you some ribs.Copy !req
499. Okay. All right, see you.
Hup! Hup! Hip!Copy !req
500. Hi.
Hey, Rosie.Copy !req
501. You ready for lunch?
Yeah.Copy !req
502. Gee, I'm all set.
Thanks for coming by.Copy !req
503. Yeah. Oh, boy,
you look so much better,Copy !req
504. I can't even believe it.Copy !req
505. Oh, listen, thanks to you.
Have a seat.Copy !req
506. You know,
I gotta tell you,Copy !req
507. the best thing that's happened
from this drug addiction thingCopy !req
508. is that I've been able to get
to know you a little bit better.Copy !req
509. Oh, now, you know,
you say that to all the girls.Copy !req
510. No, that is not true.
I can talk to you the way
I can't talk to anybody else.Copy !req
511. I mean it. I can't—
I can't believe it.Copy !req
512. Well, you know,
you can always talk to me.Copy !req
513. Thanks.Copy !req
514. No. Thank you.Copy !req
515. 'Cause, you know,
most of the guys I meetCopy !req
516. are just like
walking heaps of shit.Copy !req
517. So it was really
good for me, too.Copy !req
518. Oh, great.Copy !req
519. Well, I loved having you
over at the house, and, uh...Copy !req
520. I liked being there.
And, uh...Copy !req
521. Do you get lonely?Copy !req
522. Well, yeah.
Yeah?Copy !req
523. Will you marry me?Copy !req
524. I know that...
sounds silly.Copy !req
525. But I mean it.Copy !req
526. Well, are you sure that
you're not just saying thatCopy !req
527. because you want
the time slot after my show?Copy !req
528. I don't think so.Copy !req
529. I don't really want
your time slot.Copy !req
530. I want you.Copy !req
531. Oh, jeez.Copy !req
532. Say that again.Copy !req
533. I want you.Copy !req
534. No, the thing about
the time slot.Copy !req