The Jeselnik Offensive 1x9

Directed by

Abby Elliott as Self • Pete Holmes as Self

Indian scientists design lingerie that shocks potential rapists, a Georgia high school has its first integrated prom in 30 years, and Pete and Abby defend their tweets.

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1. THANK YOU.

2. THANK YOU.

3. THANK YOU AND WELCOME TO THE

4. "JESELNIK OFFENSIVE."

5. I'M ANTHONY JESELNIK.

6. HOW YOU KIDS DOING TONIGHT?

7. FANTASTIC.

8. WE HAVE GOT ANOTHER PERFECT SHOW

9. FOR YOU TONIGHT.

10. ABBY ELLIOTT AND PETE HOLMES ARE

11. HERE.

12. BUT FIRST, IF BAD NEWS WERE

13. MONEY I'D BE ROLLING IN IT.

14. WHAT'S SHAKING?

15. MICHAEL J. FOX HAS RELEASED HIS

16. VERY OWN CUPCAKE IN HONOR OF

17. PARKINSON'S AWARENESS MONTH.

18. THE BAKERY SAID HE WAS VERY

19. HANDS ON BUT THEY STILL TURNED

20. OUT OKAY.

21. WHO CUT ONE?

22. AUTHORITIES HAVE REVEALED DYLAN

23. QUICK THE STUDENT THAT STABBED

24. 14 PEOPLE AT A TEXAS COLLEGE

25. LAST WEEK IS DEAF.

26. TURNS OUT HE WAS JUST ASKING FOR

27. DIRECTIONS TO THE LIBRARY AND

28. FORGOT HE WAS HOLDING A KNIFE.

29. CAN'T BEAT THAT ONE.

30. LAST WEEK IT WAS REPORTED

31. RIHANNA AND CHRIS BROWN BROKEN

32. UP AFTER HE WAS SPOTTED HOLDING

33. A WAITRESS'S HAND AND HE SAID

34. THERE WASN'T ROMANTIC HE WAS

35. JUST TRYING TO BREAK HER HAND.

36. NOW, LET'S GET INTO THIS ONE.

37. A FATHER AND SON WERE FOUND SHOT

38. DEAD IN A UTAH NATIONAL PARK

39. LAST WEEK.

40. POLICE ARE TRYING TO DETERMINE

41. IF IT WAS A DOUBLE-DOUBLE-SUICIDE OR

42. MURDER-SUICIDE WHICH MEANS IT'S

43. THE FIRST TIME A FAMILY'S HOPED

44. FOR A DOUBLE-MURDER SUICIDE.

45. HALLE BERRY HAS ANNOUNCED SHE'S

46. PREGNANT WITH HER SECOND CHILD

47. AT 46.

48. SHE BOUGHT HERSELF WHAT TO

49. EXPECT WHEN YOU'RE EXPECTING

50. YOUR BABY TO HAVE DOWN IS IN SYNDROME.

51. WISH YOU WERE HERE.

52. THE BODY OF A 21-YEAR-OLD WOMAN

53. WAS FOUND IN THE GRAND CANYON

54. LAST WEEK AFTER MISSING SINCE

55. JANUARY.

56. THE BODY WAS HARD TO SPOT SINCE

57. IT BLENDED IN WITH THE

58. SURROUNDINGS.

59. I MEAN, SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL.

60. NOW, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK

61. OF THIS ONE.

62. POLICE IN TORONTO ARE LOOKING

63. FOR FOUR OBESE WOMEN WHO RAPED A

64. 19-YEAR-OLD BOY AFTER PROMISING

65. TO DRIVE HIM HOME.

66. JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THINGS

67. COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE FOR

68. JUSTIN BEIBER.

69. NOW, CAN I GET AN AMEN.

70. AMEN.

71. THE 27-YEAR-OLD SON OF

72. MEGACHURCH PASTOR RICK WARREN

73. COMMITTED SUICIDE BY SHOOTING

74. HIMSELF IN THE HEAD.

75. SUICIDE IS A SIN BUT ALL HIS

76. RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION WENT IN

77. ONE EAR AND OUT THE OTHER.

78. LAND HO.

79. THE CARNIVAL CRUISE LINE IS

80. OFFERING PRICES OF $38 WITH

81. TRAVEL, LODGING AND ALL YOU CAN

82. SEE THE OF YOUR OWN.

83. AND FINALLY, THIS IS SCARY,

84. SPICE GIRL MEL B WAS BOOED BY

85. THE CROWD WHILE ACTING AS A

86. JUDGE ON AMERICA'S GOT TALENT

87. BECAUSE SHE CRITICIZED THE

88. MEDIAN

89. COMEDIAN THAT MADE A BLACK JOKE

90. SINCE HE HERSELF IS A BLACK

91. JOKE.

92. THAT WAS A GREAT MONOLOGUE.

93. ANTHONY!

94. ANTHONY!

95. FASHION.

96. YOU CAN'T GET AWAY FROM IT.

97. IT'S EVERYWHERE.

98. NO TWO PEOPLE EVER SEEM TO WEAR

99. IT THE SAME.

100. LET'S TAKE A PEEK AT SIMILAR

101. LOOKS TO SEE WHO WORE IT BETTER.

102. FIRST UP, WE GOT NICOLE KIDMAN

103. OR RACHEL McADAMS.

104. RACHEL McADAMS HAS THE RHETT RED

105. CARPET RAZZMATAZZ WHILE NICOLE

106. KIDMAN LOOKS LIKE SHE GOT ROLLED

107. OVER BY A FRUMP TRUCK.

108. UP NEXT WILLEM DAFOE AND HE

109. LOOKS HIS FINISHING FINISHING MOVE IS

110. COCAINE.

111. NOW AN ABORTED FETUS OR A RITZ

112. CARL TON PAPER WEIGHT.

113. THE PAPERWEIGHT SAYS THANK YOU

114. FOR BEING A GREAT MOM.

115. THIS IS A TOUGH ONE.

116. A BABY OR POTATO LEFT IN THE

117. KITCHEN?

118. THE BABY HAS THAT RED CARPET

119. RAZZMATAZZ AND THE POTATO

120. DOESN'T EVEN ONE THROWING STAND

121. ON.

122. — ONE LEG TO STAND ON MOVING

123. ON TO FACE TRANSPLANT GUY OR DR.

124. ZOOT?

125. TRANSPLANT GUY HAS THAT RED

126. CARPET RAZZMATAZZ AND ZOOT LOOKS

127. LIKE HE FORGOT TO PUT ON HIS

128. FACE THAT DAY.

129. AND FINALLY, WHO WORE IT BETTER,

130. BUBBLES OR ADAM LANZA.

131. BUBBLES HAS THAT RED CARPET

132. RAZZMATAZZ AND ADAM LANZA LOOKS

133. LIKE HE'S SHOOTING BLANKS IN

134. FASHION SCHOOL AND THAT WAS WHO

135. WORE IT BETTER.

136. WE'LL BE

137. WE'LL BE BACK WITH ABBY ELLIOTT

138. AND

139. AND NOW WE HAVE A

140. PANEL LASTING MORE THAN FOUR

141. PANELS, CALL YOUR PANEL.

142. IT'S TIME FOR PANEL.

143. PLEASE WELCOME FROM SNL AND HOW

144. I MET YOUR MOTHER, ABBY ELLIOTT.

145. AND A REGULAR ON CONAN AND HOST

146. OF THE POPULAR, YOU MADE IT

147. WEIRD PODCAST, PETE HOLMES.

148. THANKS FOR BEING HERE, GUYS.

149. ABBY, I'M GOING ON TOUR SOON.

150. ARE YOU AVAILABLE TO HOUSESIT?

151. I'M CURRENTLY HOUSESITTING

152. FOR ANTHONY.

153. HE'S RELATED TO STAR WARS.

154. NICE.

155. NOW, PETE, YOU ONCE WROTE A JOKE

156. FOR ME AND I REFUSED TO DO IT.

157. I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHY YOU

158. WON'T DO IT, IT'S PERFECT FOR

159. YOU.

160. CAN I TELL IT?

161. PLEASE.

162. I WAS IN A MALL AND WORE A

163. SHIRT THAT SAYS I DIDN'T ASKED

164. TO BE MEXICAN GOD JUST LOVES ME

165. MORE AND I SAID I LOVE IT AND

166. WANTED IT IN WHITE.

167. READY TO GO, JESELNIK.

168. THAT ONE'S READY TO GO.

169. HERE'S WHY I WOULD

170. NEVER TELL THAT JOKE, I WOULD

171. NEVER SAY, I LIKE THAT T-SHIRT.

172. NOW LET'S GET INTO IT WITH THE

173. BEST AND WORSE THING OF THE

174. WEEK.

175. DON'T RAPE ME, BRO.

176. ENGINEERING STUDENTS IN INDIA

177. DESIGNED ANTI-RAPE LINGERIE THAT

178. WILL SHOCK WOULD-BE ATTACKERS

179. WITH VOLTS.

180. IT'S OFFICIAL, ROMANCE IS DEAD.

181. IT HAD TO BE AWKWARD TO

182. REMOVE AT AIRPORT SECURITY.

183. YEAH, NO.

184. I'M NOT BUYING THAT AT YOU WILL.

185. YOU KNOW THE 2 WILL COME OUT IN

186. SIX MONTHS.

187. CAN I SPEAK TO THE MORMONS.

188. LOOK, A PAIR OF MAGICAL

189. UNDERWEAR THAT DOES SOMETHING.

190. IT STARTS SHOCKING

191. A WOMAN UNTIL SHE LEAVES INDIA.

192. I KNOW YOU SAID LEAVES INDIA

193. BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE LEANS INTO YA

194. WHICH IS HORRIBLEHORRIBLE.

195. NOBODY WOULD WANT

196. TO LEAN INTO YOU.

197. I'VE HAD SEX.

198. TAKE THAT HIGH SCHOOL AND

199. COLLEGE.

200. IS THIS AN UNDERWEAR THAT SHOCKS

201. A POTENTIAL RAPIST.

202. IS THAT WHY YOU'RE HAIR'S STICK

203. UP.

204. THAT'S GOOD.

205. I CAN BE MEAN.

206. THE THING ABOUT THIS THAT'S

207. GOOD IS IF THIS MALFUNCTIONS AND

208. THERE'S AN INDIAN GUY THERE FOR

209. TECH SUPPORT.

210. GUYS, WHAT ARE

211. OTHER RAPE PREVENTION

212. ACCESSORIES.

213. TALK ABOUT NEW GIRL FOREVER.

214. THAT'S AN ANTI-RAPE.

215. AND A HOTTER FRIEND

216. THAT HANGS OUT WITH YOU.

217. YEAH.

218. I WOULD WEAR IS A T-SHIRT

219. THAT SAID ASK ME ABOUT MY RAGING

220. SYPHILIS.

221. THAT REMINDS ME,

222. PETE, HOW IS YOUR RAGING

223. SYPHILIS?

224. UP NEXT IS THE WORSE-BEST THING

225. OF THE WEEK.

226. A LOT OF POSITIVE STORIES AND

227. THIS THE WORSE ONE.

228. BLACK TIE INSIDE, WHITE HOOD

229. OUTSIDE.

230. A HIGH SCHOOL IN GEORGIA WILL

231. HOLD ITS FIRST INTERGRATED PROM

232. IN 30 YEARS.

233. IT WAS DECIDED AFTER A VOTE IN

234. WHICH WOMEN WERE NOT ALLOWED TO

235. VOTE.

236. ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF IN

237. EQUALITY BEING STOPPED WITH THE

238. POWER OF DANCE.

239. I'M FINALLY THEY

240. HAVE AN INTERGRATED LESBIAN

241. PROM.

242. IT'S NOT FAIR.

243. BLACK PEOPLE GET TO DO

244. EVERYTHING.

245. I NEVER GOT TO GO TO A GEORGIA

246. PROM.

247. EVER.

248. OR BE PRESIDENT OR BE BEYONCE.

249. YOU KNOW WHO I FEEL BAD FOR

250. IS THE ONE KID NOT HAVING A DATE

251. TO THE PROM ON HIS IMAGINARY

252. BLACK GIRLFRIEND.

253. IS THERE ANY WAY TO

254. THROW AN INTERGRATED PROM THAT

255. WILL SATISFY THE TOWN'S RACISTS

256. LIKE MAYBE ALL THE SHAM CHAPERONES

257. CAN HAVE OXYCONTIN.

258. JUST PLAY KID ROCK.

259. OR A PLACE THEY'LL NEVER HEAR

260. ABOUT IT.

261. LIBRARY.

262. POLITICAL.

263. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS LIKE RACIST?

264. YOU'RE LIKE WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

265. GIVE THEM A CHANCE.

266. THEY READ A LOT OF HATE

267. LITERATURE.

268. I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR ABOUT THEIR

269. FIRST OPENLY GAY PROM FROM MY

270. CONDO ON THE MOON.

271. IT'S IN THE FUTURE.

272. ALL RIGHT, GUYS.

273. WE'VE BEEN MAKING JOKES ABOUT

274. THIS STUFF BUT I WANT DO SEE HOW

275. OPEN-MINDED YOU WERE IN HIGH

276. SCHOOL BEFORE THE SHOW WE ASKED

277. YOU THE SAME QUESTIONS AND WRITE

278. ANSWERS ON THE CARD.

279. PETE, GUESS HOW MANY BLACK

280. FRIENDS ABBY HAD HER SENIOR YEAR

281. OF HIGH SCHOOL.

282. I WOULD HAVE TO SAY, YOU SEEM

283. PRETTY PROGRESSIVE, YOU HAVE A

284. WELCOMING VIBE, YOU MADE THAT

285. BLACK PEOPLE GET TO DO

286. EVERYTHING JOKE EARLIER — I'M

287. GOING SAY THREE SASSY BLACK

288. FRIENDS.

289. OKAY.

290. ONE IS GAY AND HE MOON WALKED

291. EVERYWHERE.

292. PLEASE EDIT THAT OUT.

293. NO.

294. NOW IT'S STAYING IN FOR SURE.

295. ABBY, HOLD UP YOUR SIGN.

296. FIVE.

297. FIVE BLACK FRIENDS SENIOR YEAR

298. OF HIGH SCHOOL.

299. ABBY, HOW MANY BLACK FRIENDS

300. DID PETE HAVE?

301. KEEP IN MIND, BLACK PEOPLE HATE

302. PETE'S COMEDY.

303. YEAH, I CAN'T SEE THAT —

304. ONE?

305. THAT'S OFFENSIVE.

306. WOW.

307. IT WAS HIGH SCHOOL.

308. I HAD THREE FRIENDS.

309. A PUERTO RICAN, SPANIARD AND

310. JEW.

311. THEY WOULDN'T LET ME HAVE A

312. YOU.

313. MAYBE BECAUSE YOU

314. REFERRED TO THEM AS A PUERTO

315. RICAN, SPANIARD AND JEW.

316. THAT WAS THEIR IDEA.

317. HOW ABOUT?

318. HOW MANY BLACK FRIENDS DID YOU

319. HAVE IN HIGH SCHOOL?

320. THERE WAS AN OLD

321. LADY WHO LIVED IN A PANEL SHE

322. HAD SO MANY PANELS SHE DIDN'T

323. KNOW WHAT TO PANEL.

324. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE

325. PANEL.

326. WELCOME BACK.

327. JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS

328. PANEL TO GO BACK IN THE PANEL WE

329. HAVE MORE PANEL.

330. IT'S MORE PANEL.

331. AND NOWOR OUR SEGMENT CULTURE

332. CLUBBING WE TAKE A BASEBALL BAT

333. TO THE CHINA SHOP OF HUMAN

334. INTELLECTUAL ACHIEVEMENT OR

335. SOMETIMES WE JUST TALK ABOUT

336. FOOTBALL.

337. ACCORDING TO NEW REPORTS NOT ONE

338. BUT FOUR NFL PLAYERS ARE

339. CURRENTLY CONSIDERING COMING OUT

340. OF THE CLOSET AS GAY.

341. THIS IS HORRIFYING STUFF, YOU

342. GUYS.

343. I LIKE TO THINK THEY'RE NOT

344. JUST GOING COME OUT OF THE

345. CLOSET BUT RUN OUT OF A CLOSET

346. THROUGH A HUGE TEARAWAY BANNER.

347. THERE'S NOTHING

348. WORSE THAN HAVING YOUR GUY CHECK

349. OUT JUNK IN THE LOCKER ROOM.

350. WHAT IS THIS EVERY GYM IN

351. AMERICA?

352. PLEASE, ANTHONY, TELL ME

353. THEY'RE ON THE BEARS.

354. I WOULD SAY THE

355. PACKERS.

356. HERE'S A HINTS TOO WHICH IT

357. WAS, THE FOUR GUYS THAT FAINTED

358. DURING BEYONCE'S HALFTIME.

359. FOUR GUYS, SO SEX IN THE CITY

360. OF THEM.

361. COMPLETELY.

362. GET READY FOR SMALLER MORE

363. TASTEFUL SUPER BOWL RINGS.

364. GAY FOOTBALL PLAYERS?

365. WHAT'S NEXT, GAY PRIESTS?

366. I MEAN —

367. CAN I JUST SAY THAT A GAY MAN

368. CAN RUIN HIS KNEES AND SUFFER

369. LONG-TERM BRAIN LOSS AS WELL AS

370. A STRAIGHT MAN.

371. IS IT WORTH DOING THAT ONE

372. AGAIN?

373. I'M GOING SAY NO.

374. DO IT AGAIN.

375. DO IT AGAIN, RIGHT NOW.

376. WE'RE GOING LEAVE IT IN TWICE.

377. YOU KNOW, ANTHONY, I'M GOING

378. OUT ON A LIMB AND SAY A STRAIGHT

379. MAN CAN SUFFER LONG-TERM BRAIN

380. DAMAGE AS WELL AS A GAY MAN.

381. I STEAD THE WRONG WAY.

382. HERE'S YOUR JESUS

383. MOMENT.

384. KNOCK IT DOWN, THIRD TRY.

385. YOU KNOW, ANTHONY, I'M JUST

386. SAYING A GAY MAN CAN INCUR

387. PERMANENT KNEE DAMAGE AND

388. LONG-TERM BRAIN DAMAGE DUE TO

389. FLIMSY INEFFECTIVE HELMETS,

390. ALLBEIT COLORFUL AS WELL AS A

391. HETEROSEXUAL MAIL.

392. PETEHOLMES

393. PETEHOLMES.COM.

394. ONE MORE TIME.

395. I BLINKED.

396. GAY PEOPLE AND STRAIGHTS ARE

397. THE SAME AND YOU PLAY FOOTBALL

398. AND SOMETIMES YOU HURT YOUR

399. HEAD.

400. WHAT DO YOU THINK

401. OF SIGNS AN NFL PLAYER COULD BE

402. GAY?

403. LIKE ALL THEIR TACKLING DUMMIES

404. LOOK LIKE THE MENTALISTS.

405. THE END ZONE DANCE IS A

406. SOPHISTICATED FOXTROT.

407. THEY CALL TERRY BRADSHAW

408. TERENCE.

409. IF THEY ARE TIM TEBOW.

410. THAT'S A FACT.

411. IF THEY WIN THE SUPER BOWL

412. INSTEAD OF YELLING TO DISNEY

413. WORLD THEY YELL I'M DOING A

414. TROPICAL ISLAND WHERE THEY DON'T

415. ALLOW PHOTOGRAPHS.

416. IF THEY HAVE GAY SEX.

417. THAT'S A DEAD

418. GIVEAWAY.

419. UP NEXT IS FOR THE LADIES.

420. WE LOOK DOWN THROUGH THE GLASS

421. CEILING AS STORIES FOR WOMEN.

422. MAYBE SHE'S A SLUT.

423. MAYBE IT'S MAYBELLINE.

424. SOME ARE TAKEN OFFENSE TO THE

425. NAIL POLISH NAME LIKE SPARKLY

426. TRAMP.

427. ABBY, YOU'RE A WOMAN.

428. SO PETE —

429. I TOLD YOU I WEAR

430. DRUNK SLUT IN CONFIDENCE.

431. I DON'T THINK SO.

432. I THINK SLUT WOMEN ARE LUCKY

433. THEY GET NAIL POLISH.

434. I HAVE TO WEAR BLACK MAGIC

435. MARKER WHILE I LISTEN TO THE

436. CURE.

437. I DON'T THINK THE

438. GUYS WOULD ACCEPT YOU, PETE.

439. YOU SON OF A.

440. THAT'S THE MEANEST

441. THING I'VE EVER SAID TO ANYONE.

442. I THINK IT'S OBVIOUS ALL THE

443. MAKEUP COMPANIES ARE RUN BY MEN

444. BECAUSE SOME OF THE NAMES ARE

445. SMART AND CREATIVE.

446. YEAH, NO.

447. I DON'T NEED MY NAIL POLISH TO

448. CALL ME A PARTY SLUT.

449. THAT'S WHAT MY BOYFRIEND'S FOR.

450. OKAY, I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND

451. BECAUSE I'M A PARTY SLUT.

452. ALL RIGHT.

453. I THINK THEY SHOULD HAVE FUN

454. SASSY NAMES LIKE PARTY SLUT.

455. NOBODY WANTS A NAIL POLISH

456. CALLED JANET RENO PAYING HER

457. TAXES.

458. NO ONE WOULD EVER

459. BUY THAT.

460. I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT

461. WHILE I'M WALKING WALKING BUYING MY PLAN

462. B AND MY JUMBO VAGINAL CONDOM.

463. HEY, ANTHONY, YOU KNOW WHAT A

464. SLUTTY GIRL'S UNDERWEAR AND NAIL

465. POLISH HAVE IN COMMON?

466. YOU'VE NEVER SEEN

467. EITHER ONE?

468. THEY BOTH COME OFF WITH

469. ALCOHOL.

470. OKAY.

471. THAT WAS GOOD.

472. AND NOW IT'S TIME

473. TO WATCH YOUR BABY TAKE ITS LAST

474. STEPS, IT'S DEFENDING YOUR

475. TWEET.

476. YOU TWEETED IT — AND I'M GOING

477. READ IT AND ASK TO YOU DEFEND IT

478. IN FRONT OF ALL THESE PEOPLE.

479. ABBY, START WITH YOU.

480. ON JULY 4th, YOU TWEETED "PROUD

481. TO BE AN AMERICAN GIRL.

482. CELEBRATING

483. CELEBRATING TODAY BY GETTING A

484. SPRAY TAN, BLOND HIGHLIGHT AND

485. SMOKING WEED OUT OF MY CIVIC.

486. ABBY, DEFEND YOUR TWEET.

487. I THINK IT WAS TAKEN OUT OF

488. CONTEXT.

489. 'CAUSE I WAS SMOKING WEED IN A

490. LOT OF OTHER PLACES TOO NOT JUST

491. MY CIVIC.

492. THAT'S GOOD.

493. I'M GOING TO ALLOW

494. THAT AS A DEFENSE OF YOUR TWEET

495. BUT I DON'T THINK I KNOW WHAT

496. OUT OF CONTEXT MEANS.

497. PETE, FEBRUARY 14th, IT'S A

498. VALENTINE'S TWEET SO IT WILL BE

499. EXTRA SAD

500. YOU TWEETED, "I DON'T GET IT YOU

501. GUYS, THEY WANT TO EAT WITH ME

502. BUT THIS BOOKIE HATES ME AND

503. WANTS TO BREAK MY LEGS."

504. PETE HOLMES, DEFEND YOUR TWEET.

505. ANTHONY, I DON'T THINK YOU'RE

506. GOING BELIEVE THIS BUT I'M

507. ACTUALLY A BOOKIE AND I FLIPPED

508. IT AND WROTE FROM THE

509. PERSPECTIVE OF THE GUY'S LEGS I

510. BROKE.

511. NOBODY SUSPECTS THE GAY VAL

512. KILMER.

513. I WAS WONDERING HOW

514. YOU COULD POSSIBLY MAKE A

515. LIVING.

516. IT MAKES SENSE.

517. THANKS FOR BEING HERE TONIGHT.

518. CHECK OUT PETE'S SPECIAL, NICE

519. TRY THE DEVIL AND SEE ABBY

520. TUESDAY APRIL 30th ON COMEDY

521. CENTRAL.

522. CENTRAL. WE'LL BE BACK WITH MORE SHOW.

523. WE'LL BE BACK WITH MORE SHOW.

524. THANKS AGAIN TO

525. ABBY ELLIOTT AND PETE HOLMES AND

526. GET TICKETS TO MY SPRING SHOW.

527. WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

528. BEFORE WE GO LET'S LOOK BACK AT

529. THE BEST MOMENTS FROM TONIGHT'S

530. SHOW.

531. TOO LOUD.

532. TOO LOUD.

533. TOO LOUD.

534. TOO LOUD.

535. WILL.

536. WILL.

537. WILL.

538. WILL.

539. AH, MEMORIES.

540. GOOD NIGHT, KIDS.

541. GOOD NIGHT, KIDS. GO READ A BOOK.

542. GO READ A BOOK.

543. HEY, JENNY.

544. YEAH.

545. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A