The Jeselnik Offensive 1x5

1. THANK YOU.

2. AND WELCOME TO "ANTHONY JESELNIK

3. OFFENSIVE."

4. HOW YOU KIDS DOING TONIGHT?

5. FANTASTIC.

6. WE HAVE GOT ANOTHER PERFECT SHOW

7. FOR YOU TONIGHT.

8. BEG GILLMAN AND ANDY KINDLER ARE

9. HERE.

10. BUT FIRST, THE BAD NEWS IS MY

11. BUSINESS AND THIS WEEK BUSINESS

12. IS A BOOMING.

13. HUGE STORY RIGHT OUT OF THE

14. GATE, MILEY CYRUS AND LIAM HENCE

15. WORTH ENDED THEIR ENGANGMENT.

16. TOUGH.

17. TOUGH.

18. YEAH, SO GREAT NEWS FOR ALL YOU

19. GUYS OUT THERE THAT LOVE MILEY

20. CYRUS, LIAM IS AVAILABLE.

21. SMOKE 'EM IF YOU GOT 'EM, LAST

22. WEEK A MAN WAS CAUGHT IN A

23. GROCERY STORE IN CALIFORNIA IN A

24. BATHROOM READING A PORNOGRAPHIC

25. MAGAZINE, WHILE SMOKING

26. MARIJUANA LACED WITH COCAINE,

27. AND BEING ACCOMPANIED BY A SMALL

28. CHILD.

29. YEAH.

30. POLICE ARE STILL BAFFLED BY WHAT

31. IT TAKES TO GET THIS MAN OFF.

32. DON'T LET THIS GET YOU DOWN.

33. A COMPANY IN PITTSBURGH HAS

34. DEVELOP ADD NEW LINE OF DOLLS

35. CALLED "DOLLS FOR DOWNS."

36. IT HAS THE SAME CHARACTERISTICS

37. AFT CHILDRENS WITH DOWN

38. SYNDROME.

39. THE DOLLS HAVE BEEN VERY POPULAR

40. ALTHOUGH FOR SOME REASON PEOPLE

41. KEEP CANCELING THEIR ORDERS

42. DURING THE FIRST TRIMESTER.

43. NOW, THE CONCLAVE HAS ELECTED

44. THEIR NEW POPE, POPE FRANCES

45. FROM ARGENTINA.

46. HE IS THE FIRST POPE EVER FROM

47. SOUTH AMERICA AND THE 266TH GAY

48. POPE.

49. SWING BATTER BATTER, LAST

50. WEEK A LITTLE LEAGUE IN ILLINOIS

51. RAFFLED OFF AN A.R. 15 ASSAULT

52. RIFLE.

53. TO RAISE MONEY FOR THE TEAM.

54. YEAH, GREAT NEWS IF YOUR

55. FAVORITE PART OF BASEBALL IS

56. WATCHING KIDS GET PICKED OFF.

57. NOW, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO

58. THINK ABOUT THIS ONE, LAST WEEK,

59. TAYLOR SWIFT STOPPED BY A

60. NEBRASKA HOSPITAL, TO FAY A

61. VISIT TO ONE OF HER BIGGEST FAN

62. AS TEN-YEAR-OLD CANCER PATIENT.

63. LITTLE GIRL WAS THRILLED TO

64. MOORE HER IDOL IN PERSON AND

65. SAYING IT IS SOMETHING SHE WILL

66. REMEMBER FOR AS SHORT AS SHE

67. LIVES.

68. THAT WAS A GREAT MONOLOGUE.

69. YEAH, I KNOW.

70. I JUST SAID IT WAS A GREAT

71. MONOLOGUE.

72. THAT WAS THE PRESIDENT.

73. KIDS, LAST WEEK, THE SUPREME

74. LEADER OF NORTH KOREA KIM JONG

75. UNTHREATENED TO DROP A NUCLEAR

76. BOMB ON THE UNITED STATES, BUT

77. NOT ALL ASIANS ARE NUCLEAR

78. DANGEROUS, SOME OF THEM ARE JUST

79. CARATETY DANGEROUS.

80. SO HOW DO YOU TELL THE

81. DIFFERENCE?

82. PRACTICE.

83. WITH THE "ANTHONY JESELNIK

84. OFFENSIVE" AUDIENCE GAME, WHICH

85. KIND OF ASIAN IS THIS.

86. LET'S SEE WHAT OUR CONTESTANTS

87. WILL BE PLAYING FOR TONIGHT.

88. PRETTY SPECIAL STUFF.

89. ALL RIGHT, LET'S HAVE A FIRST

90. CONTESTANT COME ON UP HERE.

91. HOW YOU DOING.

92. GOOD.

93. WHAT IS YOUR NAME.

94. MY NAME IS RANDALL, WHAT DO

95. YOU DO.

96. I AM A STUDENT.

97. WHERE.

98. I GO TO SCHOOL IN TAMPA.

99. TAMPA U.S.F.

100. WOW, WELL CONGRATULATIONS ON

101. GETTING INTO YOUR SAFETY SCHOOL.

102. NOW, RANDALL, YOU MIGHT

103. RECOGNIZE THIS MIXED

104. NATIONALITY, FROM EITHER THE

105. OLYMPICS OR YOUR LAST TRAFFIC

106. ACCIDENT.

107. RANDALL, WHICH KIND OF ASIAN IS

108. THIS?

109. I WILL GIVE YOU A HINT U DOG?

110. OH, I AM GOING TO GO WITH

111. KOREAN.

112. OH.

113. SORRY, CHARLEY.

114. IVES LOOKING FOR INDONESIAN.

115. BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME YOU DO

116. SOMETHING RACIST.

117. COME ON UP, NEXT CONTESTANT OUT

118. HERE, HEY U LOOK AT THIS.

119. THANK YOU FOR PLAYING, WHAT IS

120. YOUR NAME.

121. MY NAME IS TINA.

122. HEALTH YEAH IT IS.

123. TINA, WHAT DO YOU DO.

124. I'M A FLIGHT ATTENDANT.

125. OH, COULDN'T HACK IT AS A

126. PILOT, HUH.

127. NO, I COULDN'TN'T.

128. TINA, I WILL ASK YOU TO OPEN

129. YOUR EYES WIDE AS YOU CAN, AND

130. TELL US WHAT KIND OF ASIAN IS

131. THIS.

132. A TOUGH ONE, DOG FRIED RICE?

133. CHINESE.

134. CHINESE?

135. OH, YOU HAVE BROUGHT GREAT

136. SHAME TO YOUR FAMILY, I AM

137. SORRY, I WAS LOOKING FOR LASIAN.

138. PRONOUNCED EITHER WAY, BOTH ARE

139. INDIRECT.

140. THANK YOU.

141. BRING UP OUR FINAL

142. CONTESTANT.

143. HOW YOU DOING?

144. THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.

145. WHAT IS YOUR NAME.

146. JONATHAN.

147. WHAT DO YOU DO.

148. I'M A MOVIE CRITIC.

149. OH, WE NEED MORE OF THOSE.

150. BUT WHAT'S THE NAME OF YOUR

151. BLOG?

152. I'M ON A RADIO STATION, AND

153. ALSO ON HOPPING THE POST.

154. DO YOU GET PAID FOR EITHER

155. ONE.

156. A LITTLE BIT.

157. I DON'T BELIEVE THAT EITHER.

158. JONATHAN, THIS IS A LOT OF

159. PRESSURE ON YOU.

160. I KNOW.

161. BUT NOT COMPARED TO WHAT HAVE

162. GOTTEN FROM YOURN'T PAS I'M

163. SURE.

164. JONATHAN, TELL ME WHICH KIND OF

165. ASIAN IS THIS?

166. OH.

167. THE WORST KIND.

168. MICKEY ROONEY.

169. WHAT KIND OF ASIAN IS HE

170. PROTRAYING?

171. JAPANESE.

172. JAPANESE?

173. OH.

174. I'M SORRY.

175. I WAS LOOKING FOR ORIENTAL.

176. MICKEY ROONEY IS PORTRAYING

177. AN ORIENTAL.

178. I WILL TELL YOU WHAT I WILL DO,

179. YOU CAN TELL ME THE MOVIE THIS

180. IS FROM, LY GIVE YOU THE PRIZE

181. ANYWAY.

182. BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S, THANK

183. YOU.

184. THANK YOU, JONATHAN FOR

185. PLAYING.

186. BIG THANK YOU TO ALL OUR

187. CONTESTANTS I HOPE EVERYBODY

188. LIVED SOMETHING ABOUT CULTURES

189. AND HOW BEST TO MOCK THEM, WE

190. WILL BE RIGHT BACK.

191. WELCOME BACK.

192. I KNOW I HAVE BEEN OFFENDING A

193. LOT OF DIFFERENT TYPES OF

194. PEOPLE, BEFORE YOU COMPLAIN I

195. HAVE ONE OF THE MOST DIVERSE

196. STAFFS IN ALL OF TELEVISION.

197. SO I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE

198. THEM RIGHT NOW WITH THE

199. DEFENSIVE ROLL CALL.

200. GUY I CONFUSED FOR CHINESE

201. ANDREW.

202. BLACK STEVE.

203. STEVE.

204. ME.

205. ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP.

206. ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP DAVE.

207. DONNY WOODEN SPOONS FOR ARMS.

208. SURVIVING ITEMIZE TWIN SAMANTHA.

209. AND JAZZY JEN.

210. THERE.

211. NOW, NO ONE CAN EVER COMPLAIN.

212. AND NOW IT IS TIME FOR

213. EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE PART OF THE

214. SHOW, THE PART WHERE I INTRODUCE

215. THE PANEL, IT IS TIME FOR

216. PANELS.

217. PLEASE WELCOME CORRESPONDENT FOR

218. THE LATE SHOW, FOR DAVID

219. THE LATE SHOW, FOR DAVID LETTERMAN, ANDY KINKED HER.

220. LETTERMAN, ANDY KINKED HER.

221. AND THE BEST COMEDIAN AND

222. ACTOR WHO WILL EVER DO THIS

223. SHOW, OR SO HE TELLS ME, FROM

224. NBC GO ON, AN ADULT SWIM EAGLE

225. HEART, BRETT GILLMAN.

226. YEAH.

227. SUPER HAPPY.

228. VERY HAPPY TO HAVE YOU ON THE

229. SHOW, NOW, ANDY PEOPLE DON'T

230. KNOW ABOUT YOUR COMEDY, TO KNOW

231. WE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON.

232. WE ARE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT PIT

233. HER.

234. THAT'S RIGHT.

235. OF COURSE, I TOLD YOU THE PRO

236. HITLER JOKES WOULD NO GO OVER,

237. BUT THAT'S WHAT YOU DO.

238. BECAUSE YOU HAVE A GENERAL

239. ARIAN VIBE.

240. HITLER JUST SEEMS LIKE A BRO.

241. YEAH.

242. HITLER USED TO REFER TO HIS

243. ENEMIES AS HATERS.

244. NO.

245. I KNEW THAT, I KNEW THAT.

246. NOW, BRETT IT SAYS HERE, THAT

247. YOU USED TO EAT AN ENTIRE BRICK

248. OF CHEESE IN ONE SITTING.

249. YEAH.

250. HOW DID THAT WORK OUT FOR

251. YOU.

252. TERRIBLE, I WOULD GET SO

253. CONSTIPATED I WOULD BE ON THE

254. TOILET FOR HOURS.

255. SHE WOULD BE LIKE GOOD NIGHT

256. MOON, PUT YOUR HEAD BETWEEN YOUR

257. LEGS LIT COME OUT FASTER.

258. YOU KNOW LIKE THAT TYPE OF

259. THING.

260. SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT MOM, BUT

261. NOT MUCH OA DIETITIAN.

262. I USED TO EAT BRICKS WHEN I

263. WAS A KID.

264. BOOM.

265. WE MAKE FUN OF A PRODUCT THAT

266. IS NEW AND UNFAMILIAR TO US.

267. LAY LADY LATEX.

268. BRAZIL'S TOP SEX TOY COMPANY IS

269. LETTING.

270. AND THE BIDDING IS UP TO

271. $100,000.

272. IT'S LIKE THAT OLD SAYING, WHY

273. BUY THE COW WHEN YOU CAN LEASE

274. IT FOR THE PRICE OF A HOUSE?

275. IS THERE LIKE A — IS THERE A

276. CHANCE OF THERE BEING A FRESH

277. THURSDAY INSIDE THE DOLL.

278. NO, BUT YOU KNOW IT IS A

279. VIRGIN, BECAUSE THE STYROFOAM

280. PEANUTS ARE STILL IN THERE.

281. IF I HAD A DOLL FOR EVERY

282. WOMAN I SLEPT WITH THAT HAD

283. STYROFOAM PEANUTS IN HER.

284. HOW MUCH MONEY WOULD YOU

285. HAVE.

286. I DON'T KNOW, BUT I HEARD

287. THAT'S A GOOD — THIS IS NOT

288. REALLY HAPPENING.

289. PEOPLE ARE BIDDING —

290. YEAH, THEY ARE NOT EVEN

291. BUYING THE BALL, THEY ARE

292. BIDDING THE RIGHT TO TAKE ITS

293. VIRGINITY, AND THEN SOME OTHER

294. LUCKY GUY GETS TO BUY THE DOLL.

295. LET'S MOVE ON TO THE CLASSIC

296. GAME, BRAZILIAN SEX DOLL OR KEN

297. MOORE DISHWASHER.

298. I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU A PRODUCT

299. FEATURE, YOU TELL ME IF IT IS

300. THE FEATURE OF THE SEX DOLL OR A

301. KEN MOORE DISHWASHER.

302. READY.

303. FIRST FEE SURE, OVERSIZED RACK

304. TO ACCOMMODATE LARGE ITEMS?

305. KEN MOORE DISHWASHER OR

306. BRAZILIAN SEX DOLL.

307. KEN MOORE DISHWASHER.

308. NOBODY IS HAVING SEX WITH

309. THAT DOLL HAS A PENIS THAT THEY

310. ARE NOT ASHAMED OF.

311. AND THE ANSWER IS KEN MOORE

312. DISHWASHER.

313. NICE.

314. UP NEXT, THIS IS A TRICKY ONE,

315. DESIGNED FOR LARGE LOADS, BUT

316. FORCING SOMETHING TO FIT MAY

317. VOID THE WARRANTY.

318. BRAZILIAN SEX DOLL, OR KEN MOORE

319. DISHWASHER.

320. THIS IS A TOUGH ONE.

321. YEAH.

322. I WILL SAY BRAZILIAN SEX

323. DOLL, BECAUSE I'M SURE THAT —

324. YOU KNOW, SOME OF THOSE PERVERTS

325. WILL SNEAK A DEUCE OR TWO INSIDE

326. OF IT.

327. IS THAT UGLY.

328. NO.

329. IS THAT BAD?

330. I THINK IT IS A FINGER —

331. I THINK IT IS TRUE.

332. I THINK IF YOU ARE HAVING SEX

333. WITH THAT DOLL, YOU ARE

334. DEFINITELY IN IT.

335. I WOULD LIKE TO GO WITH

336. WHATEVER HE DIDN'T SAY, BECAUSE

337. HIS ANSWER SICKENS ME.

338. LET'S SEE WHAT THE ANSWER IS,

339. SEX DOLL.

340. IS THAT THE DOLL.

341. THAT IS THE DOLL.

342. OH, SIGN ME UP.

343. THOUGH.

344. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WE WERE

345. DEALING WITH THIS.

346. PRETTY HOT, RIGHT, DID YOU

347. SEE HER IN SILVER LINING PLAY

348. BOOK?

349. NEXT OPTION, MAKES NOISE WHEN

350. YOU HAVE SEX WITH IT.

351. BRAZILIAN SEX DOLL OR

352. DISHWASHER, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU

353. WANT TO JUMP ALL OVER THIS ONE.

354. IN COLLEGE, —

355. TAKE US BACK, ANDY.

356. A COUPLE OF TIMES WE DID HAVE

357. SEX WITH THE DISHWASHER.

358. AND HIS NAME WAS LUPE.

359. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING, I

360. DON'T KNOW WHO I AM.

361. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.

362. I WILL GO WITH THE DISHWASHER.

363. I THINK IT IS THE DISHWASHER,

364. BUT I THINK THERE SHOULD BE A

365. VOID FEATURE ON THE DOLL.

366. THAT WHILE YOU ARE HAVING SEX

367. WITH IT IT SAYS OH YEAH BABY,

368. GIVE IT TO ME DADDY, AND YOU ARE

369. MIKING A PSYCHOLOGICALLY

370. ALTERING MISTAKE.

371. GIVEN A LOT OF THOUGHT, THE

372. ANSWER IS — BOTH.

373. IT IS A TIE.

374. ALWAYS HAVE THAT LOOK?

375. AND THAT WAS SOMETHING THAT

376. WENT ON WAY TOO LONG.

377. UP NEXT, IT'S FOR THE LADIES

378. WE LOOK DOWN THROUGH THE GLASS

379. CEILING AND OUR STORIES FOR

380. WOMEN.

381. WHO WANTS TWO TICKETS TO THE GUN

382. SHOW?

383. YOUR MOTHER, THAT'S WHO.

384. A NEW STUDY SHOWS THE FASTEST

385. GROUP OF GUN OWNERS ARE WOMEN.

386. I THINK IT IS GREAT THAT MORE

387. WOMEN ARE TAKING THE INITIATIVE

388. TO ACCIDENTALLY SHOOT

389. THEMSELVESES.

390. YEAH, YOU KNOW.

391. I KNEW HE'D SCORE.

392. NO.

393. THEY ARE GETTING GUNS — THEY

394. ALREADY GOT OUR GUNS.

395. KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING, FELLAS,

396. BANG.

397. HA HA HA.

398. I AM A PIG, I AM TALKING ABOUT

399. MY PENIS.

400. OH, OKAY.

401. OH.

402. ONE THING YOU HAVE TO WORRY

403. ABOUT IS THEY PROBABLY WON'T USE

404. THE GUN, BECAUSE THEY WON'T BE

405. ABLE TO FIND IT IN THEIR PURSE,

406. AM I RIGHT?

407. WHO IS WITH ME?

408. YOU NOTICE HOW GUYS THEY

409. ALWAYS HAVE TO ASK, THEY NEVER

410. WANT TO ASK FOR DIRECTIONS YOU

411. NOTICE THAT, AND WOMEN ALWAYS

412. SHOOT YOU IN THE EYE.

413. I THINK WE CAN TONIGHT

414. WORRIED ABOUT CONCEALS WEAPONS

415. BECAUSE YOU KNOW HOW WOMEN CAN'T

416. KEEP A SECRET.

417. THEY DON'T NEED THEM, THEY

418. ALREADY GOT THEIR GYPPER JABBER

419. YAPPERS AM I RIGHT.

420. THEY WILL KILL YOU WITH THE

421. NAGGING.

422. WITH THE CONSTANT NAGGING.

423. YOU WILL NEVER DO THIS, I

424. NEVER DO THAT.

425. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

426. SERIOUSLY, THOUGH — CAN I BE

427. SERIOUS ONE SECOND.

428. I REALLY BELIEVE THAT WOMEN

429. SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO HAVE A

430. GUN, BUT IF THEY HAVE THAT

431. RIGHT, THEY HAVE TO GIVE UP

432. ANOTHER RIGHT, VOTING, WHATEVER

433. THEY WANT.

434. PUT THAT PANEL ON YOUR

435. MANTLE, WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK.

436. WELCOME BACK.

437. DID WE LEAVE YOUTH'SING FOR MORE

438. PANEL?

439. WELL, GET READY TO DRINK TEEN.

440. IT'S MORE PANEL.

441. NOW, FOR OUR SEGMENT POSTER

442. CLUB, WE TAKE A BASEBALL BAT TO

443. CHINA SHOP OF HUMAN INTELLECTUAL

444. ACHIEVEMENT.

445. GIVE ME MY REFUND IN SINGLES.

446. OTHER RAPPERS IN DECLARING STRIP

447. CLUB DEDUCTIONS AS TAX

448. DEDUCTIONS.

449. WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHO JIM

450. JONES IS, BUT THIS IS THE BEST

451. WORK HE HAS DONE SINCE JONES

452. TOWN, RIGHT?

453. FOO SOON, TOO LATE?

454. ARE YOU NOT A HIP-HOP FAN?

455. WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING THE

456. KOOL-AID?

457. I HEARD —

458. NO I HEARD THIS.

459. THAT THEY — A LOT OF RAPPERS

460. THAT CAN MAKE A LOT OF

461. DEDUCTIONS UNDER THE HEADING

462. MISCELLANEOUS BLING.

463. 2106 FORM.

464. HAVE TO GET A WORD IN EDGE

465. WISE.

466. NO, THEY HAVE A NEW THING, A

467. LAP DANCE, THEY ARE DOING A

468. THING CALLED THE TAX DANCE, SAME

469. THING AS LAP DANCE, ONLY YOUR

470. ACCOUNTANT IS SITTING NEXT TO

471. YOU, AND SAY THIS IS A REALRY

472. GOOD IDEA.

473. WHAT'S LIKE THE WEIRDEST TAX

474. WRITE OFF YOU DO.

475. HIGH DEDUCTIBLE FOOD ALL THE

476. TIME, WHY NOT, RIGHT.

477. YEAH, THAT'S LEGAL.

478. ALSO I MAKE OFF LOT OF STUFF.

479. YEAH.

480. COMPUTER, $50,000.

481. YOU HAVE AN ACCENT.

482. YEAH, I DO IT AS A NEW YORK

483. GUY, HEY.

484. WHEN THE IRS CALLS ME, YEAH,

485. THAT WAS FOR A COMPUTER P.

486. I DEDUCTED HAIR PLUGS.

487. MINE.

488. HUH.

489. VERY GOOD.

490. BUT I WAS GOING TO SAY, I AM

491. BEING AUDITED.

492. OH.

493. OH.

494. I SEE.

495. NOW IT IS TIME TO PUT YOUR

496. BABY IN THE DRIVER AND TURN IT

497. ON HIGH.

498. IT IS DEFENDING YOUR TWEET.

499. ANDY ON MARCH 12TH YOU TWEETED

500. THE FOLLOWING.

501. I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN A WORLD

502. WHERE THE REFERENCE 1910 FRUIT

503. CUT COMPANY IS NOT MET WITH

504. HOWLS OF LATTER AND NUDGING

505. ELBOWS.

506. DEFEND THAT TWEET, FEEL FREE TO

507. GO WORD BY WORD?

508. FOLKS, LOOK, THEY LAUGHED,

509. RIGHT?

510. I — WHY DO THE KIDS TODAY NOT

511. RESPECT REFERENCES?

512. THEY DON'T KNOW THE REFERENCES.

513. I DON'T CARE — THEIR CAN'T FIND

514. IRAQ ON A MAP, BUT I WANT TO BE

515. ABLE TO STAY IN A CLUB, AND SAY

516. LOOK GARY PUCK AND THE UNION

517. GAPS OVER HERE, BOOM.

518. WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE A MEMBER OF

519. EVERY MOTHER'S SON?

520. THAT'S WHAT I WANT.

521. NOW, BRETT.

522. YEAH.

523. ON SEPTEMBER 4TH YOU TWEETED

524. "IF MY ASS WANTED TO BE KISSED

525. IT WOULDN'T BE ALL THE

526. TIME."

527. DEFEND YOUR TWEET?

528. THAT THAT WAS A LIE.

529. I — I LOVE COMPLIMENTS.

530. AND I HAVEN'T TAKEN A DECENT

531. B.M. IN THREE WEEKS.

532. I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH

533. YOUR JOKING WITH THE LOOK OF

534. PRIDE ON YOUR FACE.

535. I MEANS I'M OLDER AND MORE

536. MATURE.

537. GUYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR

538. BEING HERE TONIGHT.

539. THAT'S ANDY APPEARING AT THE

540. COMEDY FESTIVAL IN AUSTIN,

541. TEXAS.

542. WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE

543. SHOW.

544. THANKS AGAIN TANNED ADY.

545. AND FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER.

546. ALSO AT THE SHOW BLOG, AT

547. C.C..COM.

548. WE WILL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK, BUT

549. BEFORE I GO LET'S TAKE A LOOK

550. BACK AT THE BEST MOMENTS FROM

551. TONIGHT'S SHOW.

552. GIRL WHO MARRIED DEAR OLD DAD.

553. OH, OKAY I'M THE BAD GUY NOW,

554. I GUESS YOU GOT A GOOD DEAL ON

555. ACRYLIC.

556. I DON'T AGREE WITH YOU

557. ANTHONY.

558. WHAT ARE YOU AN ITALIAN GUY?

559. WHY ARE YOU SAYING THINGS IN.

560. WHY.

561. AND WHERE FOR.

562. IF NOT ME THAN WHO.

563. IF NOT ME THEN WHEN?

564. IF NOT THIS DIRECTION, THAN

565. THAT DIRECTION.

566. WHEN I OPEN MY EYES LIKE

567. THIS, ANTHONY, IT WOULD BE GOOD

568. IF I HAD SOMETHING TO SAY THAT

569. MADE A POINT.

570. THAT'S IT, I CAN'T TAKE IT.

571. OH, MEMORIES.

572. GOOD NIGHT, KIDS.

573. GO READ A BOOK.

574. AND LOW, THE BLOOD OF THE

575. CHRISTIAN BABIES WAS DRUNK, THUS

576. PROLONGING THE LIVES OF THE

577. ELDERS OF ZION.

578. AND THAT WAS THE STORY OF

579. PASSOVER.