The Jamie Foxx Show 1x8

1. Oh, trick or treat, I'm so sweet

2. hot monkey love between the sheets.

3. Huh, yeah.

4. What are you so excited about?

5. Hey, my Halloween party is gonna be the bomb.

6. I've been runnin' around passin' out fliers all over the place.

7. Oh, I know it's gonna be fun

8. I can hardly wait.

9. So, uh, what you readin'?

10. Oh, this magazine with the world's most handsome men.

11. Is that right? Is Billy Dee Williams in there?

12. Oh, yeah. I'm lookin' right at him.

13. You're damn right you're lookin' right at him.

14. How about a Co-Colt.45?

15. You know, a lot of people say I kinda look like Billy Dee.

16. - Really? - Yeah

17. What? I don't see it. Go stand over there.

18. - Let me see. - You see it now?

19. Lando Calrissian. Where have you been?

20. No, not really. Let me get a better view.

21. How you doin', Chewbacca?

22. You know, you kinda look like him

23. except there's one thing missin'.

24. What's that?

25. The pretty face.

26. Gotcha!

27. No, got you.

28. - Hey, Fancy. - Yeah.

29. I was wonderin', you know, it's just the Halloween party

30. jumpin' is gonna be nice and everythin'.

31. And I'm throwin' it and I gotta somebody on my arm

32. I was wondering maybe you could roll with the brother.

33. That's just if you don't have a date.

34. Oh, Jamie, that is so sweet.

35. Cool, I'll pick you up around 8, girl.

36. No, I got a date, sorry.

37. Sorry.

38. That's cool.

39. That's cool, uh..

40. You know, so, uh..

41. One minute, the brother's in and the next minute, yeah..

42. - That's cool, that's cool. - My brother you were never in.

43. So, uh..

44. Does this sucker have a name?

45. His name is Elister.

46. Elister.

47. - What's that supposed to mean? - It just sounds soft.

48. - Sound like a sucker to me. - He is not soft.

49. He is tall, handsome, sophisticated. I mean, just—

50. Sounds like you're describing me.

51. My friend, she said tall and sophisticated

52. not tall and constipated.

53. I do not have time for your hood antics.

54. Because I am off to pick up my costume.

55. What? Where's your money man.

56. The one you got on is scaring the hell out of me.

57. Cute.

58. Okay, Braxton, can I go with you?

59. I gotta pick up my costume too.

60. - Oh, sure you can. - Alright.

61. Jamie, will you watch the desk?

62. - Yeah, I'll be right over here. - Cool.

63. Hey, hey, unc, unc, unc, listen, listen, listen..

64. Gotta talk to you somethin' just between us.

65. You've got it, you've got it.

66. You know I've liked Fancy

67. ever since I got here, man.

68. Yeah, I didn't think it was serious at first

69. but now, it looks like to me like

70. she's got your nose wide open.

71. Wide enough to drive a Cadillac through it.

72. I just don't, I don't know how to come at her, man

73. because she's nice and everythin' and I'm just..

74. I'm a little bit country, she's a little bit rock 'n' roll.

75. Dig it, Jamie. Dig it.

76. When you tryin' to catch some bees, man

77. - You need a little honey. - Right. Right. Right.

78. I wanna ask you somethin', Jamie.

79. You do have other honeys?

80. Oh, man, the phone don't stop ringin'

81. you know, I mean, when you break it down

82. since I been here..

83. No, I really don't have a lot.

84. Well, there's your problem.

85. What I need to do is, get another babe

86. and make Fancy jealous.

87. - Perfect. Perfect. - Hey, man, you know what?

88. I think I have the very babe.

89. She works down at the tracks. Very nice, young lady, man.

90. I think, I might be able to arrange somethin'.

91. Yeah, but, she gotta be fine enough to make Fancy Jealous.

92. You know, I want a babe cleaning up and stuff.

93. Jamie, you know my taste, man, hey.

94. She is in the recent "Femme".

95. She's Miss Pick Six of the week.

96. Yeah? Oh, she got some nice legs

97. but does she have a rake in her mouth?

98. - Jamie, that's the horse, man. - Oh, that's the horse.

99. - Right, Chante is right here. - Oh, okay. Yes, she's fine.

100. She does a little overbite there, but, uh..

101. Well, uh, she's good for opening cans, yeah.

102. Bite right there on it.

103. Well, she looks cool though, all over in that, you know..

104. You see, Jamie, you know what you're doin' right now, man?

105. Now you are taking control of the situation

106. because when it comes to men and women, man

107. we men wear the pants, not them.

108. - 'Junior.' - Ah, yes, Helen.

109. 'Did you pick up my pants from the dry cleaners?'

110. Yes, dear. Comin', dear.

111. Whipped.

112. Okay, ladies.

113. What do you think of my costume?

114. I don't get it. What are you supposed to be?

115. Well, when my date gets here, you know

116. together we are gonna be a donkey.

117. But, uh, I-I-I guess right now I'm just an ass.

118. Listen, you-you'll let me know as soon as she gets here right?

119. Okay, come on, honey. Now look..

120. You just have a seat right here.

121. And I will go and get Jamie.

122. Oh, uh, Jamie, she is here-e-e.

123. Yeah, brother. Yeah!

124. - Her name is Chante. - Mm-hmm.

125. I think she's French.

126. - Really? International. - Yeah.

127. Hey, Chante, girl. How're you doin'?

128. Ah, okay. Uh, look I'm gonna be right back with you

129. in a second, you just hang tight right here, okay?

130. Alright.

131. - Hey, Fancy pants. - Hey, Jamie.

132. What? W-who her?

133. Oh, she's just a, you know, little babe I'm takin'

134. to the Halloween dance and everythin'

135. you know, she been jockin' me and stuff.

136. Cool.

137. Oh, I didn't know you was goin' that way.

138. But since I got you here..

139. she's real sophisticated.

140. Okay? And I think she French.

141. Hey, Chante, come please.

142. Yes, thank you.

143. Chante, this is Fancy. Fancy, meet Chante.

144. - Oh, pleased to meet you. - Hi, wassup!

145. Oh, girl, I likes your jewelries.

146. Girl, you like mine.

147. Do you believe I found this on the bus. Okay!

148. It's, uh, very pretty.

149. See, I was on my way to get my fourth hole in my hear.

150. - How many holes you got? - What?

151. See, I was gonna get five

152. but up here with a gristle, tough girl, it be hurtin'.

153. Uh, uh, C-Chante, Chante girl

154. let me howl at you for a second over here.

155. D-a-ang, what's wrong? I was just conversatin' with her.

156. I was about to ask her where she got her nails did.

157. W-w-why don't you..

158. Why don't you let me ask her

159. where she got her nails done.

160. And, uh..

161. And, you know, you just sit over here and smile and nod.

162. Oh, why I got to smile and nod?

163. See you act like I be embarrassing you and stuff.

164. Oh, you're not embarrassin' me. Look, look..

165. You're not embarrassin me. Look, just, why don't you just..

166. just sit right here, yeah.

167. Sit right with your back.

168. And you know what? This nice little decoration.

169. Got you a costume and everythin'.

170. Got you a little costume there.

171. There you go, Miss Halloween.

172. Just count the people comin' through that door.

173. You know, I..

174. I like them with a little street in 'em.

175. Well, you must really like her.

176. Dang, Jamie, you ain't even paying me no attention.

177. I mean, you ain't even tryin' to kiss me yet.

178. I hope you ain't one of them

179. soft Richard Simmons type, brothers.

180. I'm not soft, I just met you.

181. It's just, you know..

182. Why should I be kissin' you?

183. I need a rough neck, alright?

184. I need a brother that ain't afraid to grab his woman

185. and get his kiss on, you know what I'm sayin'?

186. So go ahead, Jamie. Go ahead, go ahead.

187. Handle your business.

188. Yeah, I'm handlin' my business.

189. I'll run and get you some ChapStick.

190. Hey, uncle. Uncle Junior.

191. Ah-h, whoo.

192. Ooh, may I say how lovely you look

193. in that costume.

194. Here is my card. Ha-a!

195. But, I, uh, I didn't catch your name.

196. - Lee Roy. What's yours? - Ugh, what in tarnation!

197. Give me back my card!

198. Drop it.

199. Now!

200. Whoo, baby these shoes are killin' me.

201. Junior, what do you have on?

202. I thought you were coming as President Clinton.

203. Not that Clinton, George Clinton.

204. And I think, this Clinton in hells.

205. Guess who?

206. Oh, Fancy, or should I say Maria Antoinette.

207. Girl, that is an original costume.

208. Thank you. Mrs. King, this is Elister.

209. Ooh, hi, Elister, nice to meet you.

210. - Enjoy the party. - The pleasure is all mine.

211. Excuse me.

212. Oh, no. She didn't.

213. - Oh, yeah. She did. - Jamie's behind this.

214. He's mad at me 'cause I didn't come with him tonight.

215. Fancy, I don't think Jamie would do that.

216. - Well, I do. - Well, then, find out.

217. I don't believe you.

218. Jamie.

219. What's up with your date wearing my costume?

220. Oh, come on. What?

221. You can't stand a little friendly competition.

222. What?

223. Francesca, is everythin' alright?

224. Ah, who's askin'?

225. Elister, this is Jamie.

226. Hey, how-how you doin'?

227. I-I guess no one told you that this was a costume party, huh?

228. Oh, I'm wearing a costume.

229. - I'm super... fine man. - Oh-h.

230. I mean, if you had a face like this

231. would you put a mask on it?

232. No, but I might put a halter top on them breasts, you know?

233. Elister, I'm gonna go get us a few drinks.

234. I'll be right back.

235. - What? You got a problem? - Ah.

236. I don't mean to get in your personal hygienics

237. and everything, man.

238. But you got somethin' growin' out your face.

239. Oh, God.

240. You-you don't mean a blemish now, do you?

241. Because I-I just had a facial.

242. Yeah, well, you probably need to get your money back, man.

243. It's growing, man. You got a pimple as big as your fist.

244. Damn!

245. Jamie, where is Elister?

246. Huh? Oh, well, he went to go, uh

247. check his make up and..

248. He went to go check his make up.

249. You know, I don't what you see in him, anyway.

250. He just like one of the soap opera guys.

251. You just jealous because he has class.

252. Unlike your date.

253. Uh, Jamie..

254. Jamie, uh, so what's going on with you

255. and-and-and Fancy, man?

256. Well, she's just not jealous of Chante

257. even though she is French.

258. Well, man, that's because you are not flaunting her, man.

259. You got show Fancy what she is missin'.

260. - Right. Right. Right. - Yeah.

261. - I know exactly what to do. - Uh-huh.

262. Here, if Chante been wantin' me to kiss her.

263. It's time to get my kiss on.

264. - Turn around, Chante. - What?

265. - Oh, Jamie. - The door, the door is lockin'.

266. You know, just tryin' make sure all of this is..

267. taken care of.

268. I didn't even see you.

269. I didn't see you either.

270. Uh..

271. Would you mind passing the stapler?

272. Stapler. Stapler.

273. Uh, all of 'em in there and they, they..

274. - Put it on the paper. - Right, thanks.

275. Uh, I need..

276. Uh, would you pass me the guest book, please?

277. Yeah.

278. Are you gonna answer that?

279. Yeah, uh, sure. That's what I'm here for.

280. Uh, The King's Towers.

281. They hung up, uh.

282. I'll guess they'll, uh... kiss back.

283. - What? - I mean..

284. They'll call back.

285. That's what I'm tryin' to say.

286. Alright, come on, look, Fancy. Look, this is ridiculous.

287. We gotta talk about this.

288. Jamie, there is nothing to talk about.

289. - We kissed each other. - We did not kiss.

290. - I did not kiss you. - Okay, look.

291. I kissed you by accident.

292. I thought it was Chante.

293. Look, it doesn't even matter because as far as I am concerned

294. last night never happened.

295. That's crazy.

296. You got your world rocked.

297. In your dreams.

298. He loves me, he loves me not.

299. He loves me, he loves me not.

300. Oh, my darling. I missed you so..

301. Where have you been?

302. Don't ruffle me, lusty wench.

303. I've been fighting knights

304. slaying dragons, scaling castles.

305. Same old, same old.

306. Will you my, fair, damsel Francesca.

307. Your eyes are like limpid pools of water.

308. Your lips are like a ripened pomegranate.

309. You fly brick house, you.

310. I can't stand it anymore.

311. Kiss me. Kiss me, you fool.

312. 'Oh, Fancy.'

313. 'Fancy!'

314. - Fancy. - What?

315. Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. King.

316. I'm sorry.

317. Oh, honey, how did it go with Elister?

318. Well, I don't think it's gonna work out.

319. He's just, you know, another pretty face.

320. Now, Fancy, I ain't tryin' to get in your business.

321. But I just wanna tell you, you know

322. Jamie is quite fond of you.

323. Mrs. King, nothing personal, but Jamie's charming

324. and he makes me laugh but we work together, nothing else.

325. Well, you know, it's just a little somethin'

326. to keep in the back of your mind, 'cause

327. see, I ain't tryin' to get in your business.

328. Mm-mm.

329. Come here.

330. Who, me?

331. 'Girl, let's get a room.'

332. 'Ooh, baby this is a room.'

333. 'Jamie, Jamie..'

334. Jamie.

335. You know who it is. Who daddy is?

336. Jamie.

337. Hey. What? Uh, oh.

338. You take this up to storage.

339. Yeah, yeah. You just..

340. Damn. Uh, Fancy, don't be sneakin' up on a brother.

341. What were you thinkin' about?

342. Oh, uh..

343. I don't know, I don't know what I was thinkin' about.

344. You know what I was thinkin'?

345. That it was ironic that, uh

346. uh, the Lakers beat the Supersonics.

347. Uh, Francesca, Mrs. King just called.

348. She needs you on the third floor.

349. Thanks, Braxton.

350. Goin' up.

351. Jamie, look..

352. I gotta tell you that I have a confession to make.

353. I have to admit that, uh

354. I enjoyed the kiss.

355. - You did? - 'Mm-hmm.'

356. I mean, so did I. You know, I-I enj.. I..

357. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it the kiss too.

358. Oh, my God, Jamie. We're falling.

359. - I don't wanna die. - I don't wanna die either, baby

360. - I love you. - I love you too.

361. - I wanna marry you. - Okay.

362. But first you gotta sign this prenuptial agreement.

363. But you don't have any money.

364. Oh. My bad.

365. What?

366. What were you just thinkin' about?

367. What were you just thinkin' about?

368. Were you just thinkin' about what I was thinkin' about?

369. I don't know. What were you thinkin' about?

370. I know what you was thinkin' about.

371. Well, I know what you were thinkin' about too.

372. See you around.

373. Uh, Mrs. King, can I talk to you for a minute?

374. Oh, sure, Fancy. What's that?

375. Well, I'm not even sure if I should be telling you this

376. but I've been having these, uh, romantic fantasies

377. about, uh, Jamie.

378. Who?

379. I've been having these fantasies about Jamie.

380. Oh, honey, there's nothing wrong with a little fanaticizing.

381. I used to have this recurring dream

382. about gettin' a hot oil rub down from Nipsey Russell.

383. Well, Mrs. King, what do I do?

384. Well, now, honey, do you think you have feelings for him?

385. I didn't think I did.

386. I tell you what? Let's go get a cup of coffee and exhale.

387. Hold on.

388. Braxton, would you cover the front desk for me?

389. Thanks.

390. Come on, baby.

391. Exhale.

392. Oh, we can do better than that, come on.

393. - Hey, Jamie. - Hey. Hey, brother.

394. - Are you okay? - No, I'm fine, I'm fine.

395. - You look a little distracted. - Oh, I'm just straight.

396. Bro hamster..

397. You are not straight.

398. I can tell something's wrong

399. you know it, I know it, now come on.

400. - What's wrong? - Alright, man.

401. Look, I don't why I'm tellin' you this but, uh..

402. Lately, I've been having these fantasies about Fancy, right.

403. And this so bad now that it..

404. That I'm even day dreaming about marryin' her.

405. - Yeah? - 'Yeah.'

406. I've been having fantasies about her too.

407. You serious? You straight?

408. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I, um..

409. I fantasize about us being alone on a deserted... park bench.

410. Yeah, you go. There you go.

411. And she takes me back to her place.

412. - Right. Oh.. - Oh.

413. Slowly seduces me.

414. Aye.. hmm..

415. And becomes my first.

416. Your first.

417. Becomes the first, what?

418. - What... did I say first? - You said first.

419. - Yes you did. - Oh, no, no, wait.

420. - No, I was getting mixed up. - Come on, man, you said first.

421. No, what I meant was, well, my first true love.

422. I mean I have had loves, you know what I mean.

423. But, uh, she would be my first true love.

424. - That's different, so.. - Your first true love, is it?

425. - You said first. - No, you misunderstood.

426. Now that is funny, you takin' about my first love.

427. That is funny.

428. Jamie, I gotta talk to you.

429. I gotta talk to you too, look, um..

430. Look, wait, before you say anything.

431. I just wanna tell you that..

432. I enjoyed the kiss.

433. - You serious? - Yeah.

434. Girl, don't play with my feelings.

435. I'm too sissy right now.

436. Jamie, come on.

437. I'm serious.

438. Alright, alright, you serious, okay.

439. 'Cause just makin' sure you serious.

440. - Yeah. - I liked the kiss.

441. You liked the kiss. We both liked the kiss.

442. - So what are we gonna do now? - I don't know.

443. But look, why don't we just work on being friends?

444. So you already breakin' up with me?

445. Jamie, what I'm sayin' is, in order to have a relationship

446. we gotta be friends first.

447. - You're right. - So we're friends.

448. - Friends, friend, friend. - Cool?

449. Gotcha.

450. I'm only kiddin'. Come over here.

451. You're right. You got me.

452. Ah, now, let me try.

453. Oh, I guess this was supposed to fall down and scare me?

454. Junior, every Halloween you try to scare me and it never works.

455. I guess I'm gonna have to try harder next year, huh?

456. Yeah, I guess so.

457. I gotcha!

458. 'Bad dog.'