The Jamie Foxx Show 1x22

1. Aha, aha.

2. Jamie, what the hell are you doin'?

3. My mother's comin' into town

4. and everything needs to be clean including my co-workers.

5. Uh!

6. You need to run up and take a shower, let's go.

7. Let's not and say we did. What's wrong with you?

8. She's combative, I don't know if she can—

9. Jamie, now look, I know that you're excite..

10. Boy, get that out of my face.

11. I know you're excited about seeing your mother.

12. But you about to drive us crazy right now.

13. - But I'm exhilarated.. - Mm-hm, I see.

14. You.. Since you got all of that energy. Oh, yes..

15. The third floor needs vacuuming.

16. Ooh, actually, I'm tired, I'm depressed.

17. Uh-huh.

18. Hey, Nelson.

19. Hey, hey, hey, what's with the long face?

20. I'm sorry, J.

21. I just got a lot on my mind.

22. Those politicians sold us out.

23. I knew I should've voted for the one-armed dude.

24. You're eight years old, you can't vote.

25. I got a hookup down at the poll.

26. Nelson, what's the matter?

27. They were talking about closin'

28. the Little Homies center down.

29. Oh, what's goin' on with that?

30. I sure don't know.

31. But it look like, I might have to start hustlin' again.

32. Oh, well, we wouldn't want you to start hustling, you know

33. sling eliminating, go-kart jacking.

34. I can help you out, you know, brother, I'm always

35. there for you, now, all you got to do

36. is tell me how much you guys need.

37. Five Gs.

38. Well, I ain't gonna be able

39. to help you today.

40. But I tell you what, I'll get you a room.

41. You can stay here a couple of days.

42. But after that you got to go.

43. Oh, Nelson, don't worry.

44. If Little Homies closes down, I'll just adopt you.

45. Hey.

46. Aw, that's cool. You know, I need a mother, too.

47. You know, I'm still nursing.

48. Well, what can I say, Jamie, go find a cow.

49. Ahem, ahem, ahem, you two. Uh-uh.

50. Oh, little Nelson honey, is there anything we can do?

51. If you got 5 Gs.

52. R-r-r with that.

53. - I got an idea. - 'What?'

54. Why don't we just throw a benefit here

55. throw a talent show, then that way we can

56. raise the money, we can keep the doors open.

57. Oh, Jamie honey, who's gonna pay to see us perform?

58. What do you mean? We've got all the talent we need right here.

59. Not only that, but who's comin' to town?

60. - A-ah, your mother. Yes. - Right.

61. And people pay money to see my mother sing every single night.

62. - That's right. - Is your mama famous?

63. You ever heard of the, uh, Chitlin circuit?

64. - "Chitlin circuit"? - Yeah.

65. The Chitlin circuit, that's where you could be

66. large in a small kind of way.

67. Jamie baby, actually that's a great idea.

68. What's, uh, a great idea?

69. Oh, we're going to have a benefit right here in the hotel

70. and all the proceeds will go to the Little Homies Foundation.

71. I would, uh, love to showcase my magic.

72. What're you gonna do, make your bad breath disappear?

73. No, I'm gonna pull the other half of your brain out of a hat.

74. Now, as I was saying..

75. As I was saying, I'm going to do some prestidigitation.

76. Oh, man, you gotta go to the bathroom for that.

77. I don't even know..

78. That's magic, bonehead.

79. 'Now, ah!'

80. Observe.. Aah..

81. Ha-ha.

82. Oh.

83. Ooh, ha, ha.

84. O-o-oh, woop.

85. Wow, Braxton, that was pretty cool.

86. - Now, where'd it go? - Observe.

87. O-o-oh.

88. - What the— - Ta-da! Here it is.

89. And now it's gonna go to the ice-cream man.

90. Get back here.

91. Do I have to carry these bags in all by myself?

92. - How you doing? - Oh, Jamie.

93. - And baby sister. - Aah! Hey, girl, oh, ha, ha.

94. - Now, Junior. - Janice, Janice.

95. Still looking better than new money.

96. Thank you, Junior King

97. did you ever get that boot off your car?

98. - One down and three to go. - Okay.

99. Hey, hey, mom, I want you to meet

100. Francesca, uh.

101. And if she plays her cards right, uh

102. she could be the next Mrs. King.

103. Uh! Jamie, please. Hi.

104. - Hi, how are you? - Good, nice to meet you.

105. - It's my pleasure. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

106. She-she-she's coming around.

107. Janice honey, why don't you tell us all about your new show.

108. Oh, I'm so excited.

109. It's goin' all over the country.

110. I'm in a musical called, "Save the Drama for your Mama".

111. maybe, you could save us, I mean

112. we've got a benefit happenin'.

113. If you could come down and give a little bit

114. of your time, little bit of your talent

115. we'd appreciate it.

116. Oh, oh, Janice, it would be great.

117. Well, you know what, actually, I think that's a great idea.

118. - 'Good.' - And I'll do it.

119. Only if I can sing with my baby.

120. Oh, how much you payin', how much you payin'?

121. - Yeah, okay, I-I'll do it. - Okay, okay.

122. You remember them silly little songs we used to do.

123. Of course, I remember 'em.

124. Okay, here's one. I bet you don't know.

125. - Alright, alright, alright. - Here we go.

126. - Well, there's my bumpsey. - Hey.

127. Bumpsey?

128. What kind of a punk name is that for a big old man?

129. Hey, hey, just-just-just come sit over here

130. before you get knocked out.

131. Hey, now, mom, we gotta keep the "bumpsey" between us.

132. You know, 'cause, they start playin' me.

133. So how's it going..

134. Bumpsey?

135. I am killing myself.

136. Your breath is killing me, mint?

137. Hey, look, I want you to meet little Nelson.

138. This is my little homie down at the center, alright.

139. Hi, Nelson, it's so nice to meet you.

140. Nice to meet you too, you know, Jamie here told me

141. you sell chilies at circuit-C.

142. Aw, ha, you, y-y-you know how Alzheimer's starts early, now.

143. Aw, come on, we got some decorations to do.

144. - Jamie's, it's a good thing. - I'm gonna jump your arm..

145. - Nice to meet you, ma'am. - Nice to meet you, too.

146. Would you look at Jamie, he is so excited about

147. you being here for his big event.

148. And that is my baby, I'm telling ya.

149. - You know what? - What?

150. I am so grateful for all that you've done for Jamie.

151. And for me.

152. Uh! I don't know how I could ever repay you.

153. Well, just make sure you come through for Jamie.

154. When have I ever not come through for Jamie.

155. Now, now, now.

156. We are having such a pleasant time

157. let's not go there, oh!

158. Wait a minute, wait.

159. We are family, we can, we can discuss anything.

160. When have I not been there for Jamie?

161. Look, Janice, all I'm saying is

162. Saturday is very important to Jamie.

163. And I know he really wants you to be there.

164. And I will, Helen.

165. I never said I was a perfect mother.

166. But you know, that I-I love that boy.

167. I know.

168. - And I love you, too. - And I love you.

169. - Give me them cheeks. - Oh!

170. I hate it when you do that.

171. I know it, that's why I do it.

172. Oh, ho, ha, ha.

173. Oh, Janice, Janice, do you

174. have any good Jamie stories?

175. - Oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah, alright, alright.

176. - Here's one, here's one. - Here we go. Mm.

177. Ah, when Jamie was in his first play at school.

178. - Right, right, right. - It-it was, "Cats".

179. - And we, we were trying to— - No, no, no.

180. It-it was, it-it was, "The Wizard of Oz".

181. - Oh, right. - Yeah, yeah, okay, okay..

182. - I knew there were costumes. - Yeah.

183. And he was so cute, he was the scarecrow and he was—

184. You, you, you know what I think about it?

185. You know what I think, I-I-I was actually the Tin Man.

186. 'Really?'

187. 'Oh, okay.'

188. Anyway

189. I had to make this outfit and—

190. Well, actually, Janice honey, I made Jamie's outfit.

191. The point is Jamie was in this play.

192. And he was so cute and I was so proud of him.

193. - Just like I am now. - What can I say?

194. - What can I say? - Oh, baby.

195. And I'm very proud of you, mom.

196. And-and that's why I'm in the music.

197. 'Cause my mom is into it.

198. And she's very dedicated, every time, you know, she's..

199. - 'Right.' - 'It's true.'

200. Oh, that is so sweet.

201. Now, tell us somethin' really embarrassing about Jamie.

202. Yeah, clown on this brother right here.

203. He always messing with me.

204. Anyway, saved by the horn, let's go.

205. That's the Little Homie shuttle bus.

206. We gotta get down to the center. Say goodbye to everybody.

207. Bye, y'all, I'll see everybody at the benefit on Saturday.

208. - Yeah, Nelson. - Bye, Nelson.

209. You two, we better go. We got a hotel to run.

210. We gotta go out and make some money here.

211. You know what I mean?

212. Ooh, I guess, I better get goin' too.

213. So I can get started on these dishes.

214. - You need any help? - Oh, no, you relax.

215. Okay, well, you know, I'll do dishes, girl.

216. I remember.

217. Hello.

218. Oh, hi, Richie, what's up?

219. What?

220. That's fabulous.

221. When?

222. Saturday? What time?

223. Oh, no, no, no, there was just somethin' I was supposed to do.

224. But I guess..

225. Okay, I'll be there. Give me the flight information.

226. '12 o'clock.'

227. To Atlanta.

228. Alright, see ya.

229. Well, I guess, I'll be on that midnight plane to Georgia.

230. - Hi, Helen. - Hey, Janice.

231. Can I talk to you for a second?

232. Sure, babe, what's up?

233. So when were you gonna tell him?

234. Tell him what?

235. Midnight plane to Georgia, ring a bell?

236. Well, it's been changed to 5 o' clock.

237. Helen, you know, this is really none of your business.

238. When it comes to Jamie, this is my business.

239. Janice, you've chosen your career over Jamie

240. his whole life.

241. Not because I wanted to.

242. And you know it.

243. This is what I do to support us.

244. I don't know anything better than this.

245. And now that Jamie's all grown up..

246. music is all I have.

247. Well, if that's the way you think.

248. Then, that is all you have.

249. What do you want me to do?

250. I want you

251. to go down there and tell Jamie the truth.

252. I want you to be a woman.

253. No.

254. Be a mother.

255. Man, it is packed. It is packed.

256. Me and my mother are gonna turn this one out.

257. Mm-hm, but you know, Jamie.

258. It's getting kinda late.

259. Maybe you should come up with a backup plan.

260. Oh, I didn't know you-you wanted to sing backup.

261. Look, here, steps right here.

262. Supremes, supreme it, supreme it

263. Marvelettes, Diana Ross.

264. Don't touch me, don't-don't, don't touch me, don't touch me.

265. - Security. - Okay, honey, no.

266. What I meant was a backup plan.

267. An alternate plan, just in case she doesn't show.

268. Oh, no, no, she's gonna, she gonna show.

269. Come on, now, you know, too old for that.

270. You know, she's gonna make it.

271. She's probably upstairs

272. just gettin' her makeup just right.

273. You know, how she likes to make an entrance.

274. - Yeah. - You know my mom.

275. Yeah, I do.

276. O-o-oh. Oh, oh, o-o-oh!

277. Voila! Ha, ha!

278. 'Oh.'

279. Thank you, ladies and gentleman.

280. I am the Great Braxtiny.

281. A-a.. I'd like you to meet

282. my lovely assistant Franchiny.

283. Now, what I will attempt to do next, ladies and gentlemen

284. is magical, a-a-ah.

285. Observe.

286. While I tie

287. these two ordinary scarves together.

288. Behold with your very eyes..

289. aha.

290. Now.

291. When I count to three

292. the magic scarves will

293. mystically change colors.

294. One..

295. two..

296. three.

297. Aah.

298. Bravo, bravo.

299. Man, you gotta teach me that trick.

300. 'Thank you.'

301. Come on.

302. We got, we got five minutes left, right?

303. Uh-huh.

304. She-she's not coming, is she?

305. I'm sorry, baby, your mother left.

306. But, Jamie, I'm sure she wanted to be here.

307. Do you know what, I-I just thought it

308. would be different this time.

309. I don't understand why she does this.

310. I mean, is it me? I mean, why is she always taking off like that?

311. No, no, honey, no.

312. It isn't you.

313. It's just her way.

314. 'Alakazam!'

315. Shame on you!

316. I killed.

317. And now the moment, you've all been waiting for.

318. The man who put this whole thing together.

319. My big homie, Jamie King!

320. Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.

321. Oh, well, thanks, thanks, thanks.

322. No, thank you, thank you.

323. Thank you, thank, uh, everybody for comin' out tonight.

324. Supporting Little Homies and everything like that.

325. You know, supporting the kids because they need it.

326. I mean, it's not the kids fault that, uh..

327. that, uh..

328. parents aren't there for 'em, uh..

329. I don't know if you guys knew this but

330. I-I was a little homie myself.

331. If it hadn't been for my Aunt Helen and Uncle Junior

332. 'you know, taking care of me.'

333. 'I don't know where I would be, uh..'

334. - You know sometimes when you— - Jamie.

335. Well, I'm so sorry.

336. Um, here's the final count of the money.

337. Oh, give it up for Franchiny.

338. Alright, look, uh, as a matter of fact

339. she brought us the numbers and everything like that.

340. We have enough money to keep the doors open

341. to the Little Homies Center, alright!

342. - Yay! - Jamie, Jamie..

343. - Hey, bumpsey. - Hey.

344. Hey, what's goin' on?

345. - How'd it go tonight? - Oh, went good, went good.

346. Everybody was, uh, you know

347. happy for raising money and everythin'.

348. Francesca got cut in half.

349. - Really? - Yeah, yeah.

350. She's trying to get herself together now.

351. Uh, it was cool, it was real nice.

352. Everybody was here, uh..

353. except for you.

354. W-well, baby, you know, um, things come up.

355. Oh, yeah, that's nothing new, I mean..

356. they always come up, when I need you.

357. You know what, I-I-I thought about buying you a gift.

358. But then, I didn't, I didn't—

359. No, just don't get it, do you?

360. I'm grown.

361. What I need gifts for?

362. I need a mother.

363. L-look, baby, you got me.

364. I got you like what?

365. Over the phone, some postcards?

366. You think we got a relationship just cause

367. you send me some stuff in the mail.

368. Uh, no, no, Jamie, I

369. I know you're upset.

370. Because I couldn't be here.

371. You couldn't be here? You could have been here.

372. Instead you wanted to go to Atlanta, I mean

373. Aunt Helen told me the whole thing.

374. You want to get to Atlanta.

375. Baby, I didn't go to Atlanta.

376. I went to the airport turned right around

377. and tried to get back in time.

378. But I ran into that damn LA traffic.

379. You know what?

380. While I was sittin' there

381. I realized that

382. instead of showering you with gifts all these years

383. I should've been showering you with my love.

384. So, uh..

385. so you missed your gig, huh?

386. Oh, my gosh.

387. You ain't ever missed a gig.

388. Yeah, baby, you know what I missed two tonight.

389. - Yeah. - You know why?

390. Because you're the most important thing

391. in my life.

392. Your Aunt Helen reminded me of that.

393. Oh, yeah, Aunt Helen will remind you.

394. But from now on

395. I'm gonna act that way.

396. Can you forgive me?

397. I don't know.

398. - You don't know. - I don't know.

399. Because, you know, you know, y-you missed a duet.

400. Now, if you was my partner, I'd have to cut you off, go solo.

401. But there is, uh..

402. I don't know, one thing you could do I guess.

403. - What? - It'll make everything alright.

404. What?

405. If you come up here

406. and you sing that duet with me, come on.

407. - Sing that duet with me. - Right here?

408. Right here, no, no fans

409. nobody getting sawed in half. Imagine it, right?

410. We'll just do it, uh..

411. I don't know, do it like we used to.

412. It would be my pleasure.

413. - You know what, Jamie? - Huh?

414. I love you.

415. And I always have.

416. 'Uh-huh.'

417. Okay.

418. Which... one... is... the... red card?

419. For five dollars.

420. Okay, why don't we make it ten?

421. You scared?

422. For poppin' off at the mouth

423. why don't we make it 20?

424. - Junior, what are you doing? - Nothin', baby.

425. Hurry up, man.

426. 'Booyaka!'

427. Uh, keep that loot and you just hope you never hustle.

428. Bent Dawg.