The Jamie Foxx Show 1x12

1. King's Tower. Hello?

2. Wait, wait, can you turn down the music?

3. I can hardly hear you.

4. Hello? Hello?

5. Who was that?

6. I'm not sure. It didn't make any sense.

7. Something about someone picked up some ice

8. in a limousine. I don't know.

9. No, no, no.

10. My man..

11. Icepick Isaacs.

12. Icepick Isaacs?

13. That fine football player? You know him?

14. Yeah. I know him, girl.

15. What you mean? We go back a long way.

16. He grew up in Texas with me.

17. Girl, we closer than ash on elbows.

18. I'm tellin' you, I'm tellin'..

19. He's gonna be here for Thanksgiving.

20. He's gonna be kickin' it with us.

21. Oh, you mean, right here?

22. Oh, my God! I can't wait to meet him.

23. Ooh, I wonder if I have time for a pedicure.

24. Oh, no, no. Hold on. Hold on. I don't know.

25. That might take a while, Paula Bunyan.

26. 'Cause the last time I seen feet like that..

27. - ... they was pickled. - Jamie.

28. Icepick Isaacs!

29. What in the world?

30. Break it down for 'em, J.

31. Icepick in the hiz-ouse.

32. And the hiz-ouse is piz-acked.

33. Right, right.

34. So, J, look at you, dawg.

35. - Man, look at you, man. - Come on, man.

36. Oh, man, you look newer than a $100 bill

37. more sharper than a razor blade.

38. I want you to meet my peeps. This is my Uncle Junior.

39. - Yeah. - This is my Aunt Helen.

40. - And this is— - No, no, no.

41. I know who you are.

42. You are Icepick Isaacs.

43. You know, I saw that game where you hurt your knee

44. in the endzone, doin' the tootsie roll.

45. You were out there like this..

46. Hey, hey, hey.

47. Aunt Helen..

48. why don't you slow your tootsie roll.

49. Hey, by the way, man, the knee is fine.

50. You know, it's hard to keep a good brother down, you know?

51. Yeah, man, you know..

52. I used to bet on your team all the time.

53. That is, before I found the Lord.

54. Hi, I'm Fancy.

55. - Hey. - It is so nice to meet you.

56. You know, you're my favorite tight end.

57. Well, actually I play wide receiver.

58. I wasn't talkin' about football.

59. Well, uh..

60. You know, I used to play, you know

61. back in the day, you know, quarterback.

62. Jamie, stop lyin'.

63. - No, no. I'm serious. - No, no. JJ was the man.

64. Actually, he was almost as good as me.

65. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 'cause, uh, w-w-what had happened was..

66. is that when I was comin' up, right, uh..

67. I had, uh, gingivitis in my shoulder.

68. I was, it was, like, right in here.

69. And then, you know, a-and I got circumcised

70. and after that, you know, I just gave it up.

71. Hey, hey, yo, B. B, B. I want you to meet my man.

72. This is Icepick Isaacs.

73. Welcome, Mr. Pick.

74. It is an honor to meet you.

75. But I must admit, I've never seen you play.

76. I don't really like hockey.

77. Hockey? Yo, J. What's up with your boy, man?

78. Uh, let's just say this, I overheard him on the phone

79. talkin' to his father

80. and he called him Uncle Daddy.

81. I got you.

82. Man, but I-I know one thing

83. I know all that money, and all the fame

84. and everything ain't goin' to your head.

85. Oh, come on, man, I'm still

86. the same brother you knew from Terrell, Texas.

87. - That's what I'm talkin' about. - Man, hey, look here.

88. Oh, by the way, man, why don't you get on your job, man

89. and grab my bags for me?

90. - What? - I'm clownin'.

91. - You wanna give me that back? - Oh, you still tight, huh?

92. Yeah, good lookin' out, yeah.

93. Hey, uh, check this out, man.

94. I want you all to check out my new endzone dance.

95. Why don't you hit me down from the endzone?

96. Well, I'll be quarterback. Hey, hey, Fancy, come on.

97. - Help me out right here. - Oh, what do you want me to do?

98. I want you to, uh, bend over and spread your legs.

99. No, I just want you to hike. I want you to hike it to me.

100. - Jamie, just throw the ball. - Oh.

101. Remember how we used to do it?

102. Icepick.

103. Icepick. Icepick. Icepick.

104. - Ooh, ooh. - 'Hey, hey.'

105. Yo, dawg. You alright?

106. Yeah.

107. What's wrong?

108. Just, nah, I'm cool, it's just, uh..

109. You know, my leg gets a little stiff

110. from the limo ride and everything.

111. You know, I just gotta

112. I gotta stretch it out

113. in my Ferrari.

114. Oh, wait, wait, Ice, I certainly do hope

115. you are gonna stay for Thanksgiving dinner.

116. Ain't even got to worry about that 'cause I've already

117. invited him, he gonna be kickin' it with us, man.

118. - 'Oh, yeah.' - Alright.

119. Take you upstairs, man.

120. So you can see your hotel suite.

121. The presidential area.

122. - Presidential? Alright. - Yeah. Alright.

123. And while you up there, I'm gonna take care of your stuff.

124. - Okay, see you in a minute. - Alright, alright, uh..

125. How y'all doin', stuff?

126. Yes, yes. Argh.

127. - It's a mob scene out there. - What's goin' on?

128. All the reporters want to talk to Icepick.

129. KFC News, we just have a few questions.

130. Hey, hey, hold on a second, first of all

131. I am the press agent, uh, uh..

132. sec-secretary

133. uh, uh, uh, consultation to

134. uh, uh, Icepick Isaacs.

135. So any questions that you have..

136. I will answer them in great detail.

137. Does Icepick think he can recover fully from his injury?

138. Uh, no comment, look, uh, that's all the questions

139. uh, you know, that I'm gonna take.

140. Y'all need to go ahead and break on

141. a-and get on about your business.

142. When he gets ready to, uh, cut the turkey, I'll call y'all.

143. 'Come on, Tommy Davis, come on.'

144. Yo, Ice. What up?

145. 'Yo, dawg, I'm just puttin' on the finishing touches, man.'

146. 'I'll be out in a few minutes.'

147. Alright, I'm gonna tell you, they're goin' buck wild

148. for you downstairs, man, if I was you

149. I'd get down there and hog the cameras

150. like Don King or somebody.

151. "Only in America. Ha ha."

152. 'That's 'cause you ain't never been large before, J.'

153. Oh, that's cold.

154. Look, man, I'm not tryin' to brick/break on you.

155. In fact, I was wonderin' if you would, uh..

156. get down with me on some business ventures, man.

157. I really need a road dawg I can trust.

158. Hey, man. That ain't a problem. Anything you need, brother.

159. 'Oh, hey, man, turn on the TV, they gonna be'

160. showin' my new Wheaties commercial in a few minute.'

161. Most definitely. You got your lil' Wheaties commercials.

162. I'll say, cereal man. Oh.

163. 'We interrupt this program to bring you'

164. 'a special news bulletin.'

165. 'The Louisiana Leopards have

166. 'reportedly pulled the plug'

167. 'on Icepick Isaacs.'

168. 'The Leopards say Icepick has lost his spots.'

169. 'More on this story after a word from our sponsors.'

170. Damn.

171. Got cut.

172. - So what's up, J? - 'Hey, ain't nothin', man.'

173. Man, I thought you was turnin' on the commercial.

174. Uh, yeah, well, you know, man

175. the TV is so heavily polluted with violence and stuff.

176. You know, it's des-destroyin' the family base, man.

177. You know, 'cause this is the eye, this is the eye of Satan.

178. This is the devil's eye, and you shouldn't be lookin' at that.

179. I agree, man. But I just wanna check out my commercial, man.

180. Hey, hey, hey, weren't you at the commercial?

181. - Yeah. - Yeah.

182. Why you deja vu-ing yourself?

183. 'Cause I can't get enough of me, man.

184. Jeez.

185. I love me more than I love myself.

186. What I was gonna say was, uh..

187. Can I holler at you about your personal?

188. You ever work at the post office?

189. I mean, you know, they got real good benefits, man.

190. You know, you're cool, you got nice legs, you can wear—

191. Man, stop it.

192. Come on, man. I'm a football player.

193. I make plenty of money.

194. Yeah, that's right, that's-that's right.

195. You, that's right, you probably took all your money

196. and you've been savin' it and stashin' it

197. just in case, you know, rainy day or somethin' like that.

198. You've been takin' care of that, right?

199. No.

200. Actually I sank a lot of dough

201. into this Muslim rib shack.

202. Yeah, you know, I didn't know them brothers

203. weren't into the swine, man.

204. Hey, oh, snap, man. There goes my new commercial now.

205. 'I'm Icepick Isaacs'

206. 'and after a long game of football'

207. 'I like a bowl of..'

208. 'We interrupt this commercial'

209. 'to bring you an important breaking story.'

210. I'm Tyrone Koppel here.

211. - It's all good. - This dude is good.

212. Flashy football star, Icepick Isaacs

213. has been cut from the Louisiana Leopards.

214. What? Who's been cut?

215. You've been cut.

216. Doctors say he will never play

217. on that knee again.

218. 'Now for tonight's weather, it's going to be cold'

219. but not as cold as the treatment Icepick received

220. when they cut him from the team.

221. Now for international news.

222. Israeli Prime Minister

223. Natenyahu..

224. said that peace is definitely out.

225. And "Peace out!"

226. is what they told Icepick Isaacs

227. when they... cut him from the team.

228. 'Finally, I would just like'

229. to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving

230. and enjoy the cutting of your turkey

231. the way the Leopards enjoyed cutting that Icepick..

232. Hey, dawg, uh, uh..

233. I heard about it when you was in the bathroom

234. and everything, I just didn't know how to, you know

235. come out and tell you.

236. But you're alright, though, right?

237. Huh? Oh, yeah, man.

238. - No, I'm, I'm cool. - 'Yeah.'

239. Hey, uh, look here, you

240. you mind if I have a little moment to myself, man?

241. - Yeah, yeah, no problem. - Alright.

242. Hey, hey, hey.

243. - Hey, you're my boy. - What's up?

244. - You're gonna be alright. - Fine, I'm fine.

245. - No question. No question. - I sayin', man.

246. - 'Cause you the man, dawg. - Of course.

247. - Shake your shimmy anywhere. - Do my thing.

248. Don't worry about nothin', boy.

249. Straight.

250. Yo, Ice?

251. Yo, Ice.

252. You, Ice. What-what are you doin', man?

253. Man, just leave me alone. I'm about to jump.

254. Hey, man, look, just 'cause you got cut from the team, man

255. don't mean you got to get

256. your Humpty Dumpty on.

257. Hey, yo, man, hey, hey, look, man

258. why don't we just use the elevator, man?

259. J, do you know what this means?

260. Life ain't worth livin', bein' cut from football.

261. Come on, man, no more money.

262. No more free clothes, no more honies, nothin'.

263. I don't care about no money 'n no free clothes..

264. No more honies?

265. Jamie, what happened to Icepick?

266. Look, look, look, he's a little upset.

267. He got cut from the team.

268. A little? He's about to jump to his death!

269. Look, he is no more upset than the average white man

270. after the OJ trial.

271. Jamie, this is not the time for joking!

272. You need to get out there, and talk some sense into him.

273. I'm n-not goin' out there. Do you know how high he is, huh?

274. He can hear me just fine from right here.

275. - Yo, Ice? - 'What?'

276. See?

277. Jamie, what, are you afraid of heights?

278. I ain't afraid of nothin', girl.

279. It's just that, you know

280. when you get way up high, I mean

281. you know, you, you up there.

282. - Look, I got a good idea. - 'What?'

283. You can get him off the ledge.

284. What? What makes you think I can talk him down?

285. Girl, as good a you look, you could make a man walk buck naked

286. through backdraft, I'm tellin' you.

287. I think I'll take that as a compliment.

288. - Jamie! - Good. Hey, yo, yo, Ice. Ice.

289. Ice, look here, man. Look, look.

290. I got Fancy, man. She wants to talk to you.

291. Alright, but make it quick, I got

292. an appointment with the cement.

293. Listen, no pressure, but if he jumps

294. it's on your head.

295. Jamie.

296. Ice, I heard what happened

297. and I know how you feel.

298. Oh, really?

299. Listen, what about, what about your friends

300. what would they say?

301. I know Jamie would be devastated

302. if you jumped.

303. Man, he loves you like a brother.

304. I know.

305. That's why I want Jamie to have my Porsche after I die.

306. The black one or the yellow one?

307. 'Cause either way, I ain't mad at you.

308. Jamie, stop it.

309. Ice, do you have anybody special in your life?

310. My dog.

311. Oh, now that's sweet.

312. But he died!

313. Come here! Come. Come.

314. Why didn't you just push him?

315. Hey!

316. Hey, I heard what was goin' on up here.

317. And you know what? I bet a hot plate of food would help.

318. You know, you can think better with food in your stomach.

319. No, I don't think he's gonna eat that.

320. It's not for him, it's for me.

321. Icepick!

322. Icepick, now you get in here, boy!

323. What about your parents, Mr. and Mrs. Pick Isaacs, huh?

324. And listen to those folk down there

325. I tell you, they love you, boy.

326. Listen to 'em.

327. 'Jump! Jump! Jump!'

328. Hey, hey, hey. Shut the hell up. What is wrong with y'all?

329. Hey, man. Don't listen to 'em, man. They're a bunch of losers.

330. Stacy? Hey, what's up, girl?

331. You know, you ain't callin' me.

332. Holler at me!

333. I'm Tyrone Koppel here

334. amongst the melee and..

335. it's all good.

336. I'm here outside, in front of the King's Tower

337. where Icepick Isaacs is about to jump.

338. I have only one question for this community now

339. and that is, can anyone tell me what happened?

340. 'Yo, man. I seen the whole thang.'

341. 'Me and my homies was across the street conversatin'.'

342. Who is that? Brother, step forward and bring the noise.

343. Yo, man, we was sippin' on gin and juice.

344. Right, you know, hangin' out, right?

345. I looked up on the ledge, I saw our boy up there

346. like he's about to jump.

347. I said, "Damn!"

348. Yo, man. I saw it all.

349. Now who said the mind isn't a terrible thing to waste?

350. Ice, Ice, baby.

351. I'm Tyrone Koppel

352. and I will not leave

353. until I get to the bottom of this.

354. You can believe that.

355. Just bow down

356. when I come to your town.

357. Oh, oh, back up off of me.

358. Back up off of me.

359. Break yourself.

360. West Side!

361. Now, now.

362. There is no need to be a gloomy gus.

363. You see, everyone's life has a few bumps along the way.

364. 'Well, look at me, when I was at Cornell'

365. I dreamed of becoming the manager

366. of this 637 room

367. Oahu Hilton and Golf Resort and Spa.

368. And look where I am.

369. I am the head bean counter

370. at the King's Tower!

371. Move over. I'm jumping as well.

372. I just can't convince myself..

373. - Calm down. - Oh, oh, okay.

374. Oh, excuse me. It's okay now.

375. I have a grip. Thank you.

376. Good.

377. I guess I'm gonna have to go out there and talk to him myself.

378. But, Jamie, honey, you're afraid of heights, remember?

379. I understand, I understand, but that's my dawg

380. and I'm the only one he gonna listen to.

381. Alright then, you be careful.

382. - Okay. - Just be careful, okay?

383. Oh!

384. Jamie! Jamie!

385. Are you alright? Baby?

386. Man..

387. Now we'll see, now we'll see who's crazy.

388. You want me to go MacGyver Jackson up in here, huh?

389. Hold on, come on, hold me, help me.

390. Pants is, pants is velvet, they're velvet, watch it.

391. Alright, let me go.

392. You want to be Superman, huh? You want to fly, huh?

393. You know, I'm gonna be flyin'.

394. I tell ya..

395. Stacy!

396. Good catch!

397. You stay right where you are.

398. Jamie, I don't know why you came out here.

399. Because, man, you are my dawg.

400. If you gonna jump

401. then I'm gonna jump with you.

402. Well, why would you do that?

403. 'Cause, man, I'm down for you, man. You're my boy.

404. Look..

405. You'd actually do that for me, man?

406. Yeah, man. I'd do that for you.

407. What you think this is, man, if you wanna jump and end it all

408. then, hey, I might as well jump and end it all with you.

409. 'Cause that's the type of brother I am.

410. So it's on you. What you wanna do, huh?

411. Come on. What you wanna do?

412. Alright. Well, on the count of three, let's jump together.

413. - Ready, man? - What's wrong with you?

414. Man, dawg, what's wrong with you?

415. Man, I thought you said you was down!

416. Oh, that was reverse psychology, man!

417. You don't watch TV?

418. Man, you don't care about me either.

419. What?

420. Man, look, if you're selfish enough

421. to jump off of here, man

422. then you don't care about me.

423. Oh, I guess I didn't care when we were kids

424. and I saved you from that beat down from Crazy Terry, huh?

425. Hey, T-T-Terry was crazy.

426. She was bench-pressin' 250 pounds in third grade.

427. She had a full goatee by the seventh grade.

428. Terry was a man!

429. Man, don't you understand why I came

430. to spend Thanksgiving with you, man?

431. I knew you'd always have unconditional love for me, man.

432. Out of all the phony family members and friends

433. you're the only one who never asked me for a single dime.

434. Well, you came to the right place, man.

435. 'Cause I wouldn't do you like that.

436. I know.

437. Man, all this is pretty stupid, huh?

438. Hey, look, I'm glad you said it.

439. It's real stupid, you know?

440. I mean, I-I, look at it this way.

441. Twenty years from now, we can look at this

442. and just all laugh at it.

443. That is, if we ain't on the concrete.

444. I guess you're right, man.

445. Look, I'm..

446. I'm sorry I put you and your family through all this.

447. Don't worry, don't worry about my family.

448. My family got your back, look at 'em.

449. Lookin' like a scene from "Good Times."

450. They care about you, man. We all care about you.

451. I'm gonna tell you like this, I don't care

452. how many touchdowns you score.

453. I don't care about the girls, the babes

454. the cars and all, they don't mean nothin' to me, man.

455. Man, I know you from, from way back.

456. From the hometown. Man, I love you.

457. I got love for you, you know?

458. There's one good thing that came out of this.

459. What's that?

460. Everybody knows where the famous King's Tower is!

461. Hey, man.

462. - I got you. - Man, what you tryin' to do?

463. I'm sorry, man.

464. - Hey, but you know what? - What?

465. That's the second time I saved you.

466. Yeah. Cool, man.

467. Hey, let's get up out of here, before the third time.

468. Yeah.

469. Hey..

470. I love you, man.

471. Oh, shucks.

472. I love you too, dawg.

473. - Happy Thanksgiving. - Same to you, man.

474. Look, I wanna propose a toast.

475. To my family, my new family who have welcomed me here

476. and LA, my new home

477. I wanna say that I love all of y'all.

478. Alright.

479. Oh, hey, J. I-I got a lil' somethin' I wanna say.

480. Um..

481. Well, I just, I wanna thank you

482. for giving me a reason to live.

483. - 'Hey, no problem, man.' - And, uh..

484. For teaching me that the important things in life

485. are the simple things.

486. 'Ah, yes.'

487. Hear, hear.

488. 'Hey, Hey, let me show you somethin'.'

489. Let me tell you somethin' right now.

490. - That this turkey is slammin'. - Alright.

491. Yeah, and so is this other meat. What is it?

492. That's the other white meat.

493. - What? - 'Yeah.'

494. So why don't you pass me another piece

495. of that honey-baked possum.

496. Oh, yeah? Hey, more for me.

497. Tyrone Koppel again here

498. standing on the very spot where Icepick Isaacs

499. was going to leap to his death.

500. I promised you someone was going to jump

501. and damn it, they are. I am.

502. This is Tyrone Koppel, keepin' it real.

503. One.

504. Two.

505. Three.

506. I ain't goin' out like that.

507. Tyrone Koppel, happy Thanksgiving. West Side!