The Jamie Foxx Show 1x11

1. Oh!

2. Jamie... stop that.

3. What's wrong with you, girl? Why are you cryin'?

4. - I'm watching "Brian's Song." - Oh, yeah.

5. That was a good movie. Billy Dee Williams and everything..

6. I love Brian Piccolo, he was a..

7. good friend of mine, how about a bottle of Cold Colt 45.

8. Jamie, it's so emotional.

9. Yeah, it is, you know, 'cause this is the first movie

10. where the black man lives and..

11. and the white man dies, you know.

12. I'm about to get choked up myself.

13. No, Jamie, not that.

14. I mean, look at Billy Dee's fro.

15. I know, I know.

16. I always thought his ways were natural.

17. Uh-huh.

18. I guess that means he doesn't have any Indian in his family.

19. 'We interrupt this program to bring you'

20. 'a special news bulletin.'

21. 'Good evening, I'm Tyrone Koppel and..'

22. it's all good.

23. Police have announced that a man known as a Silent Killer

24. sought in connection with a string of murders

25. has eluded a massive dragnet

26. that has led authorities on a hundred mile chase

27. that has ended here at the Hollywood area.

28. "The Hollywood area?"

29. That's right. I said, "the Hollywood area."

30. Be on the lookout for a white man

31. wearin' an African-American trench coat.

32. 'A Caucasian man wearing a black trench coat.'

33. - Oh.. - That makes more sense.

34. He was last seen leavin' Rollo's Pigeons and Pancakes

35. with a toothpick in his mouth.

36. There is a reward.

37. But be careful, he is armed, and he is dangerous.

38. You better recognize.

39. when it comes to your turn.

40. Jamie, did you hear that? We're in the Hollywood area.

41. No, no, no, honey, we are in the Kings Towers

42. and you are with Jamie King.

43. I wish that Silent Killer would roll up in here

44. I'll make him scream for his mom.

45. Jamie, you're not afraid?

46. Afraid, girl? Who are you lookin' at?

47. Girl, afraid? I don't even know how to spell the word afraid.

48. Escapes me. A-f, whatever.

49. But you know, the secret service

50. they dive in front of the president

51. to make sure they're okay.

52. I'm sorry. That's what I would do for you.

53. I mean, you know, even if they didn't have a gun, you know?

54. I'll let him know, I wanna tell you right now

55. there is nothing in this world that scares me.

56. I need a room, and I need it now.

57. There you go, sir. That'll be, um, room 313.

58. What?

59. - 'What's wrong with you?' - 'That's him.'

60. - That's who? - That's him. That's the guy.

61. He's got the toothpick, he's got the trench coat

62. I'm telling right now, that's the murderer.

63. - "Murderer?" - Aah!

64. - Aah! - Man!

65. - Back up off me. - What is wrong with you?

66. He thought you were the Silent Killer.

67. That's ridiculous.

68. Hypertension is the silent killer.

69. - What? - Jamie, that's not the guy.

70. - You're crazy. - Uh, oh, oh, I'm crazy, right?

71. He's running around killing people

72. and I'm the one that's crazy.

73. Sounds like an accurate assessment to me.

74. Okay, well, I tell you what, Mr. Smarty Pants

75. you won't be saying the same thing

76. when you wake up in the morning

77. and your head is layin' next to you talkin' about

78. "I told you so."

79. That won't be so crazy.

80. Jamie, now, why would a serial killer wanna hang out here?

81. Because that's what they do.

82. They try to throw you off the track.

83. - Remember Jeffrey Dahmer. - Yeah.

84. He told the police "I'm having Chinese for dinner."

85. But they didn't know he was talking about

86. the little Asian brother that was walking next to him.

87. And, you know, you get hungry an hour after

88. you eat some Chinese food.

89. Oh, Helen, Helen

90. you could at least hold the door.

91. - This stuff is heavy. - Oh, I'm sorry.

92. Well, if you take me out more often, you know

93. we wouldn't have to go everywhere all at once.

94. - Where are you two coming from? - Where aren't we coming from—

95. - Joe, just shut up. - Oh, girl..

96. Since we haven't had a romantic

97. weekend together in such a long time,

98. I just thought we play catch up and get a little shopping in.

99. You know, your head clock has been forever.

100. Remember, I took you to see "Malcolm X."

101. - Now, that was a good movie. - Uh, not the movie.

102. I actually took her to see Malcolm X speak.

103. And she act like I don't take her out.

104. Enough said, Junior.

105. Anyway, how's everything been goin' around here?

106. - Everything's fine. - 'Oh, good..'

107. Oh, except for the serial killer

108. that just checked in, right, Jamie?

109. You don't mean the Silent Killer

110. that we heard about on the radio.

111. I think broheim's been inhaling the cleaning products again.

112. All I know is, I know what I'm gonna do.

113. I'm gonna call 911. I'm not—

114. You are not calling 911 on any of my guest.

115. My wrist, my wrist, my wrist.

116. Boy, move here. What's wrong with you?

117. Look, what makes you think

118. that the Silent Killer is in our hotel.

119. I will tell you what makes me think that.

120. Because that's the way serial killers are.

121. - You saw the movie "Psycho?" - Yeah.

122. Yes, but that was a motel.

123. Hotel, motel... Holiday Inn.

124. Boy, if you don't stop acting strange

125. Jamie, I'm gonna take that cable out of your room.

126. Yeah, Jamie. Watch your back in the shower.

127. - Ay! Ay! Ay! - Hey, hey..

128. Okay, that's fine. You got jokes. That's cute.

129. That's cute.

130. Hey, hey, hey. Take your time, man. Hey!

131. - What's wrong with you, Jamie? - Man, I will fork you up.

132. My bad, man. I thought you was the serial killer, man.

133. You're lookin' at a serial killer.

134. Just this mornin' I killed a big old box of Apple Jacks.

135. No, no. I'm not talking about that type of serial killer.

136. - There he is, there he is. - There's who, there's who?

137. - Shh! What should I do? - There's who?

138. Save yourself. Go save yourself. Save yourself.

139. Psst! Psst!

140. Psst!

141. Here, here. You, uh, you need help?

142. He's in your party? Alright, table for two.

143. Alright, have a nice life. I mean, meal.

144. Can you excuse us, please?

145. - No, you.. - Uh..

146. - You work here, don't you? - Yeah, uh..

147. Yeah, uh, part time. You know, weekends.

148. Uh, you know, leap year, but, uh..

149. I don't know where the money is.

150. I'm not here for the money, I'm here for the people.

151. 'Yeah.'

152. And I want you to bring me a steak.

153. And I want you to make it bloody.

154. Can you do that?

155. Hey, man, I'll bring you the whole cow

156. and let you kill it yourself.

157. I mean, you know, if that will make you comfortable.

158. Ha ha ha.

159. Uh-uh.

160. You're hilarious. I'm gonna keep my eye on you.

161. Cool. You..

162. You do that. Uh, man, can I get you, uh..

163. Can I get you something to drink or somethin'?

164. Yes, I would like some orange juice.

165. Bloody steak, OJ, that makes sense.

166. One more thing. Yes, I'd like you to bring me an omelet.

167. As in, "Omma lett you live a little while longer?"

168. Uh, on a second thought, why don't you have

169. room service bring that up to 313.

170. Yeah, cool. Alright. 1-Adam-12. Code 3.

171. Code 3, man. 1-Adam-12. Station 51, baby.

172. Code 3, go for it.

173. So, how's it going?

174. Any progress on the case, Columbro?

175. - Hey, man. - What?

176. Is that your breath smelling like old bus seats?

177. Yeah, uh, Jamie, the chefs says

178. his meat cleaver is missin'.

179. You haven't seen it, have you?

180. No, but I know who might have it.

181. Jamie, you're not having illusions of some killer

182. here in the hotel, are you?

183. Because if you are, and you are wrong.

184. I've got two words for you.

185. "Big-ass lawsuit."

186. I gotta get some proof.

187. Oh... 313?

188. Look, I'll take this up for you, man.

189. Here, let me get this.

190. Go on, save yourself, man.

191. You don't need this. Go on.

192. I'll be back.

193. Uh, room service.

194. 'I'm in the bathroom. Could you leave it on the table?'

195. Uh, si, senor, I leave it on the table, right here.

196. I'll leave it for you. Okay.

197. I leave it, leave it right on the table..

198. 'Hello. Some one still up there?'

199. Uh, yeah, uh, yes.

200. This is the front desk, uh

201. there was a mix up with your order.

202. Uh, Julio, I..

203. told you that the, uh, pork chops were for room 322.

204. Where's that bloody steak?

205. Oh, well, go on downstairs now, and stop your whining.

206. I'm not gonna.. Hey, shut up! Ouchie.

207. I didn't hit you with a fist that was an open hand.

208. Go on down.

209. I'll be down there in a second. You know..

210. What the hell is this?

211. "Who should die first?"

212. "Which way am I gonna kill him?"

213. Oh, hell, no.

214. Uh-ha! Uh..

215. 'Oh!'

216. 'Oh!'

217. 'Oh!'

218. 'Oh!'

219. 'Oh!'

220. 'Oh!'

221. Oh!

222. Oh!

223. Ah! Ah!

224. Oh!

225. Oh!

226. Ooh!

227. There's a girl at the front desk.

228. She is tall... voluptuous..

229. and as far as I am concerned..

230. she's dead.

231. Ha, ha, ha!

232. 'God!'

233. God!

234. I'm telling you, he said he's going to kill the girl.

235. - That would be you. - 'Well..'

236. How do you know he was talkin' about Francesca?

237. Oh, my bad. Braxton, maybe he was talkin' about you.

238. But I thought you only wear your pumps on the weekend.

239. Now, Jamie, what Braxton does

240. in his spare time is his business.

241. I do not wear pumps.

242. Don't you think you're carrying this a little too far now.

243. I am not carrying this a little too far.

244. Look, come with me, I guarantee you

245. I could prove it to you. Just come with me.

246. Alright, Jamie, but I'm not

247. doing anything stupid.

248. This is so stupid.

249. Yeah, but I'm getting my burn on. Get up, boy.

250. Now, look, when we get there, I'm gonna tell you right now.

251. He is a straight up killer.

252. I can't believe how filthy it is up here.

253. It's a good thing we bought these buckets.

254. Braxton, what you doing? Put that down.

255. Put the buckets down, man. Drop the buckets, man.

256. Oh, hey! The girl over there is tryin' to get naked.

257. Girl, what's up, girl?

258. You are so immature, Jamie.

259. Why, has it taken you this long to realize..

260. Heavens to Murgatroyd.

261. He's got her in the chicken wing.

262. Work it, brother. Work it.

263. That's it. You're both wasting my time. I'm out of here.

264. Guys, guys, come here and see. Shh!

265. Hello, Joe, it's me.

266. No, no, everything's cool.

267. It's going according to plan.

268. Let me run this by you.

269. Since I'm already killing the girl..

270. Yeah, why don't I go ahead

271. and off the cornball accountant, too?

272. Oh, my God, Jamie, he's gonna kill us.

273. - What are we gonna do? - No, no, no. Hey.

274. You better recognize, he said he's killing y'all

275. he ain't sayin' nothin' about me.

276. I just thought of something else.

277. As long as I'm taking out the two of them

278. why don't I kill off the country bama.

279. You don't kill a country bama, man.

280. Oh, God, Jamie. Come on. We gotta go to the police.

281. Yeah, hold on. Let me get this..

282. Here are the towels you ordered, sir.

283. Oh, thank you, I made a bloody mess up here.

284. Hey, wait a second.

285. - I know who you are. - Oh, you do?

286. Then I have something for you.

287. - Ow! - Hurry up, Jamie.

288. Come on, before it's too late, hurry up.

289. Uh, what's the number?

290. 911.

291. Hello, 911? Yeah, I-I like to..

292. Oh, cool, do your thing.

293. - What did they say? - They got me on hold.

294. Okay, yes, listen, listen, we got the Silent Killer

295. right here at the King's Tower.

296. Give them a description, Jamie.

297. Okay. Description, uh, he's, uh

298. he's 6'2, he, he's beige, um, uh..

299. Uh, wears pumps..

300. Jamie, not Braxton. The killer.

301. What is it with this pumps thing?

302. 'Oh!'

303. Okay, listen, listen, listen, I overheard him sayin'

304. that he's gonna murder some people and everything like that.

305. I'll tell you what, if he kill me, I'm suing y'all.

306. Hey, and about the, uh..

307. About the little reward thing..

308. Yeah, can I get that in cash?

309. No, not the old hundreds..

310. The new $100 bills with the big-headed Ben Franklin?

311. Okay, bye.

312. Say, has anybody around here

313. seen your Aunt Helen?

314. She was about to go with me to Muscle Beach.

315. But, now, she has just disappeared.

316. - What? - Oh, no, aunt..

317. He got Aunt Helen.

318. Look, y'all hold down the fort down here at the lobby.

319. I'm going to get my auntie.

320. What the hell is wrong with that boy?

321. 'There he is. Get him!'

322. Uh, you murderer, get over here.

323. You murderer..

324. What the hell is going on..

325. - Braxton, what are you doin'? - Ow!

326. Fancy, get off from Mr. Queen's back.

327. You know him?

328. Hey!

329. Yes! He's Steven Queen, the horror writer.

330. He was writing a murder mystery about our hotel.

331. Yeah, there's the big-ass lawsuit I was talkin' about.

332. Sir... I am deeply ashamed.

333. You should be. What's wrong with you people?

334. Well, Jamie said, and then we thought, and then..

335. And then, Mrs. King was missing—

336. I wasn't missing.

337. I was just taking some fresh towels up to Mr. Queen

338. so he can clean up the ketch up he spilled.

339. And now, I'm gonna have to get him some towels for that coffee.

340. By the way, where is Jamie?

341. That's right. You better break yourself.

342. Oh, no!

343. Oh, no!

344. No-o-o!

345. Aunt Helen!

346. I should've came sooner, but people wouldn't listen to me.

347. They didn't believe me when I was saying..

348. All I got to say is one thing.

349. I ain't gonna let my aunt go out like that.

350. Aunt Helen, I'm coming to avenge ye.

351. Once again I have to apologize

352. I am so sorry, sir.

353. I can assure you, that for the rest of your stay here

354. nothing like this will ever happen again.

355. Murderer-r-r!

356. - You killed my Aunt Helen! - Jamie!

357. - You killed my Aunt Helen! - Wait! Wait Wait!

358. Who killed.. Who killed me?

359. - You killed my Aunt Helen— - Jamie..

360. - 'Who killed me?' - Oh, my God.

361. She's speaking to me from the grave.

362. - Jamie! - Jamie!

363. I'm right here.

364. Aah! Ah.

365. - Aunt Helen, you're alive! - Well, yeah.

366. Of course, she's alive. and so is the big-ass lawsuit.

367. Jamie, this is Steven Queen.

368. I don't care about his sexual orientation.

369. No, Jamie, honey, you know, Steven Queen, the horror writer.

370. Yes, I'm here from Vermont doin' research on my next book.

371. Yeah, you must've heard about his books.

372. My favorite is the one about the crazy dog.

373. - "Fool Joe." - Ha ha ha. Ha-a-a!

374. Yeah, my favorite is this one called "Riot Starter."

375. You know, it's the one about the little girl

376. who could start a riot just by lookin' at a Fedco.

377. Ha ha. Ha-a.

378. Yeah, well, yeah, I remember who he is.

379. I mean, you know. I'm up on stuff.

380. Uh, I just ran down here to make sure you sign the book

381. before you left to the King's Tower.

382. You know, Mr. Queen, my nephew here is an actor.

383. So if you ever decide to make that book into a movie

384. maybe you can keep him in mind.

385. Yes, he will be a shoo-in for the country bama

386. who gets his head cut off.

387. That's a good idea for my next novel.

388. - "Bama Cop Killer." - Ah!

389. Speaking of cops, I gotta make a phone call.

390. 'Freeze!'

391. - Oh! - Oh!

392. Alright, pal, that's it. End of line.

393. Oh, oh! Wait! Wait! Wait!

394. You got the wrong guy.

395. Well, who is the right guy?

396. - Alright, pal.. - Ah, excuse me!

397. Sir, break yourself. I am not the suspect.

398. I, I will have you know I-I have an uncle, he is a..

399. I bet where he's goin' tonight

400. he'll be wearing them pumps tonight.

401. Hey, Jamie, what are you watching?

402. I'm wa... I'm watching the Laker game.

403. The Lakers are down by one, and Shaquille is the last.

404. 'We're interrupt this program'

405. 'to bring you a special announcement.'

406. 'The Silent Killer has just been caught.'

407. - What was that? - They caught the Silent Killer?

408. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, shh! - Good riddance.

409. Hold on, hold on, hold on, now. Let my man Tyrone talk.

410. Talk, Tyrone!

411. In a surprising twist, the killer turned out to be

412. the famous horror writer..

413. Steven Queen

414. 'That's right, I said, "Steven Queen."

415. He was fingered by Willie Jickens, who said he was

416. tipped off by the black trench coat, and the toothpick.

417. Despite receivin' a million dollar reward

418. Jickens has vowed... not to quit his job

419. saying, quote, "I just want to keep it real," unquote.

420. This is Tyrone Koppel saying

421. keep your head up, keep your eyes open

422. and peace in the middle.

423. West side!

424. Oh, my goodness.

425. - No, Jamie, not that. - What?

426. - Look at Billy's Steve's fro. - Dibbi See, who?

427. Despite receivin' a million dollar reward

428. Jickens has vowed not to quit his job.

429. Stupid..

430. Who wants some? Tell Peter, all of them.

431. I'm broke, I don't give a..

432. Bad dog.