1. Thirty seconds left!Copy !req
2. Oh, oh oh. It's a butterfly!Copy !req
3. Oh, it's Mariah Carey's
lower back butterfly tattoo.Copy !req
4. - Yes!Copy !req
5. - Well done, John.Copy !req
6. And because you
guessed correctly,Copy !req
7. watch what happens.Copy !req
8. - Oh.Copy !req
9. - Oh!Copy !req
10. I should've gotten that sooner.Copy !req
11. I wrote my college thesis
on that back tattoo.Copy !req
12. - Yes, because remember,
every picture from tonightCopy !req
13. will have something to do
with your lives on Earth,Copy !req
14. so you can get to know
each other a little bit better.Copy !req
15. Okay, Blue Team, you're up.Copy !req
16. - Go get 'em, chippy.Copy !req
17. - Chidi, it's your turn.Copy !req
18. - Oh.
I'm a pretty decent artist,Copy !req
19. but I'm not so great
under pressure.Copy !req
20. - Your time begins now.Copy !req
21. - Ooh, boy.
Okay.Copy !req
22. - You got this, Chidi.
- I'm sorry.Copy !req
23. I'm just trying to
figure out how to start.Copy !req
24. - Come on.
Just start drawing, my brotha.Copy !req
25. - Oh, no.Copy !req
26. No, no, no, no.
No, no, no.Copy !req
27. No.Copy !req
28. - 30 seconds!
- Ah! Okay, here we go.Copy !req
29. - Uh—oh.Copy !req
30. Uh, it's a submarine.Copy !req
31. - Looks like broccoli
with teeth.Copy !req
32. - Oh, oh, it's a horse
with a bow on its neck.Copy !req
33. Oh, is it
my childhood pony, Daisy?Copy !req
34. - Yes!Copy !req
35. - Oh, no.Copy !req
36. No!Copy !req
37. - What have I done?Copy !req
38. - You made a freakin'
Frankenstein, man.Copy !req
39. - Okay, okay, okay.
You know what?Copy !req
40. Magic Pictionary is over now,Copy !req
41. so let's all go home
and get some sleep.Copy !req
42. - You guys want me to kill it?
I've shot a lot of race horses.Copy !req
43. - Okay.Copy !req
44. - Fork me.
That was a disaster.Copy !req
45. How did that go so wrong?Copy !req
46. - Well, for one thing,
Brent got super wasted.Copy !req
47. We should've cut him off.Copy !req
48. - Nobody gets cut off
in the Good Place.Copy !req
49. If he asks for beer,
I give him a beer.Copy !req
50. I'm just glad
he stopped asking meCopy !req
51. to go to dinner
so we could discuss my career.Copy !req
52. - Man, we haven't done
a successful activityCopy !req
53. in, like, three weeks.
We're ice cold.Copy !req
54. - Guys, give yourself a break.
They're getting better.Copy !req
55. Brent stopped saying
"daddy like" all the time.Copy !req
56. That's something.Copy !req
57. - Something feels off.Copy !req
58. All right, we need new ideas.Copy !req
59. I say we hole up here
for an all-nightCopy !req
60. brainstorming session.
- Now just hang on.Copy !req
61. We're working really hard,Copy !req
62. and we need
to relax occasionally,Copy !req
63. or we're gonna just burn out.Copy !req
64. So let's just, you know,Copy !req
65. clear our brain,
watch a movie, or—oh!Copy !req
66. We'll have a slumber party.Copy !req
67. - What the fork?Copy !req
68. - Whoever you are,
show yourself.Copy !req
69. - Oh. Hold on.Copy !req
70. The hood is caught
in my glasses.Copy !req
71. Hi.Copy !req
72. I'm Glenn from the Bad Place.Copy !req
73. - What are you doing here?Copy !req
74. - Yeah, what do you want,
creep?Copy !req
75. - No one knows I'm here,Copy !req
76. and I have
some important information.Copy !req
77. Eleanor,
I need to speak with you alone.Copy !req
78. - Whatever you need
to say to me,Copy !req
79. you can say right here.Copy !req
80. - I don't think I should.Copy !req
81. It would lead to a very
uncomfortable social situation.Copy !req
82. - Say it.Copy !req
83. - That's not Michael.Copy !req
84. That's Vicky the Demon
in a Michael suit.Copy !req
85. And she's sabotaging
your experiment.Copy !req
86. You see?
It's uncomfortable.Copy !req
87. - All right,
just sit there quietlyCopy !req
88. until we sort all this out.Copy !req
89. - If it's not too much trouble,Copy !req
90. could I get a hot glass
of pig urine?Copy !req
91. - We need to talk.Copy !req
92. - Or—I'm not picky.Copy !req
93. Whatever urine you have
is fine.Copy !req
94. - Eleanor,
you have to believe me.Copy !req
95. I'm Michael.
He's lying.Copy !req
96. - Calm down, dude.Copy !req
97. I trust you.Copy !req
98. But I'm gonna make Glenn
think I don't trust you.Copy !req
99. Somehow this has to be relatedCopy !req
100. to the problems
we've been having here.Copy !req
101. And we need to figure out
what game they're playing.Copy !req
102. - Ooh, that's good.Copy !req
103. I like the way you think,
Shellstrop.Copy !req
104. I mean,Copy !req
105. I hate the way you think,
Shellstrop!Copy !req
106. Is he buying it?Copy !req
107. - He's not looking.Copy !req
108. - I'll tell you whatever
you want to know,Copy !req
109. but shouldn't
we call The Judge?Copy !req
110. - We're not calling anyoneCopy !req
111. until we figure
some things out.Copy !req
112. We have questions.
- Yeah, for example,Copy !req
113. if you're a devil, how come
you're not wearing Prada?Copy !req
114. Caramel!Copy !req
115. - Why would you help us?Copy !req
116. One day,
you're flattening penises,Copy !req
117. and the next,
you just decide to defect?Copy !req
118. - Actually, one of my jobs
was to reinflate the penisesCopy !req
119. so they could get
flattened again.Copy !req
120. It doesn't matter.Copy !req
121. Listen, I loved
torturing humansCopy !req
122. because I thought
they deserved it.Copy !req
123. They said everyone
in the Bad PlaceCopy !req
124. was evil and beyond repair.Copy !req
125. I don't know
if I believe that anymore.Copy !req
126. Also, Shawn is so mean,
you guys.Copy !req
127. He yells at me all the time.Copy !req
128. It's, like, unnecessary.Copy !req
129. - I feel you, dog.
I was yelled at my whole life.Copy !req
130. People were always like,Copy !req
131. "You didn't pay for that!"
"How do you plead?"Copy !req
132. "He's flatlining!"
"Clear!"Copy !req
133. - Okay, well, if that's Vicky,
what's the Bad Place's plan?Copy !req
134. - To sow chaos—turn you guys
against each other,Copy !req
135. ruin the experiment.Copy !req
136. Also, I have proof
that's not Michael.Copy !req
137. Here are pictures of Vicky
wearing the Michael suit.Copy !req
138. - This doesn't prove anything.Copy !req
139. These could just be pictures
of the real Michael.Copy !req
140. - They're real.Copy !req
141. I know because
I helped make the suit.Copy !req
142. - I couldn't figure out
how to make itCopy !req
143. contain your demon essence,Copy !req
144. so you'll have to wear it
over the Vicky suit.Copy !req
145. - Ugh, really?
You're the worst, Glenn.Copy !req
146. Let's do it.
Zip her up.Copy !req
147. - Okay, but if I melt,Copy !req
148. I am gonna be,
like, so annoyed.Copy !req
149. Huh.
Pretty well-made.Copy !req
150. I can really feel all
the musty skin folds, and—Copy !req
151. and the dangly bits.Copy !req
152. - The voice is perfect.Copy !req
153. You sound so much like him,
I want to punch you.Copy !req
154. - Are we sure it's okay
that we made this?Copy !req
155. I mean,
what are you gonna use it for?Copy !req
156. - What are you gonna use it—
shut up, Glenn.Copy !req
157. The experiment
is about to begin.Copy !req
158. Let's call the real Michael
and send him spiralingCopy !req
159. down the toilet bowl
like the pinched turd he is.Copy !req
160. - Well, now,
we know you're lyingCopy !req
161. because Michael
would've definitely told usCopy !req
162. if the Bad Place
had called him and showed himCopy !req
163. some freakin' Michael suit.Copy !req
164. - Absolutely.
Of course I would've.Copy !req
165. - I mean,
Janet would have phone records.Copy !req
166. You could just ask her
to pull them up.Copy !req
167. - Okay, fine.
I lied.Copy !req
168. They called me.
- What?Copy !req
169. - I lied about that.
And I'm sorry.Copy !req
170. - You knew about this?Copy !req
171. - Yes, yes, but there's—
there's a good explanation.Copy !req
172. - Yeah, the explanation
is that's Vicky,Copy !req
173. and she's lying to you
about everything.Copy !req
174. Call The Judge
and we'll settle thisCopy !req
175. once and for all.Copy !req
176. - Or is that exactly
what you wanted us to do?Copy !req
177. - That is what
I want you to do.Copy !req
178. - Exactly.Copy !req
179. - Eleanor, perhaps
we should call The Judge.Copy !req
180. - Glenn was telling the truth.Copy !req
181. - No, The Judge said
if anything else went wrong,Copy !req
182. she would reset
the whole experiment.Copy !req
183. We are not calling her
unless we have no other choice,Copy !req
184. and I am locking you two
jamokes in separate roomsCopy !req
185. until we get
to the bottom of this.Copy !req
186. - Ugh!Copy !req
187. I'm very upset
about this development.Copy !req
188. - I'm serious, man.
This is happening.Copy !req
189. - Oh.Copy !req
190. I'm very upset
about this development.Copy !req
191. - All right, buttheads,
what do we do?Copy !req
192. - I say we trust Michael.
He's our friend.Copy !req
193. - Wait, might be our friend,Copy !req
194. or he might be
a lying tricksterCopy !req
195. who just looks like
our friend—Copy !req
196. the classic Mary-Kate Olsen.Copy !req
197. - I have to say,Copy !req
198. we've had a lot
of misfires recently,Copy !req
199. and Michael has been
acting suspiciously.Copy !req
200. Like tonight,
when I wanted to work,Copy !req
201. and he just wanted to have
a slumber party instead?Copy !req
202. - To be fair to Mike,
slumber parties rule.Copy !req
203. And why would we trust Glenn?Copy !req
204. He's a demon.
- So is Michael.Copy !req
205. Demons can be good.
- Right.Copy !req
206. Okay.
So it's decided.Copy !req
207. We trust both of them.Copy !req
208. - Okay.Copy !req
209. Predictably,
this was unhelpful.Copy !req
210. Get in there.Copy !req
211. What is all this stuff?Copy !req
212. Are these weapons?Copy !req
213. - Ooh, don't touch those.Copy !req
214. Those are my special
magnet handcuffs.Copy !req
215. They make me feel silly
when Mindy and ICopy !req
216. are playing
Upstairs-downstairs Derek.Copy !req
217. - Oh, they're sex toys.Copy !req
218. Ugh, they're sex toys.Copy !req
219. - Dude, get out of here.
We have enough problems.Copy !req
220. My good man,
allow me to bury the hatchet.Copy !req
221. Being rebooted again
has evolved meCopy !req
222. past any feelings of jealousy.Copy !req
223. Oh, I know that sound.Copy !req
224. Looks like someone
found my sex diaper.Copy !req
225. I'll leave you guys alone
to live that dipe life.Copy !req
226. - Ugh.
- Eugh!Copy !req
227. - Okay, explain yourself—Copy !req
228. if yourself even is yourself.Copy !req
229. - I am Michael.Copy !req
230. Shawn did call me,
and I saw the Michael suit.Copy !req
231. He said
if the experiment failed,Copy !req
232. he was gonna use it to make you
think I was torturing you.Copy !req
233. - Why didn't you tell us?Copy !req
234. - Because he said he would
just erase your memoriesCopy !req
235. of me telling you,
so it wouldn't matter anyway.Copy !req
236. He thought that I would
crumble under the pressure.Copy !req
237. - But a month ago,
you told me you only pretendedCopy !req
238. to freak out in order to get me
to step up and become a leader.Copy !req
239. - Yes, that also was a lie,Copy !req
240. but it was
an inspirational one.Copy !req
241. Like,
"So great running into you.Copy !req
242. We should get coffee
some time,"Copy !req
243. or all of Instagram.Copy !req
244. - So to recap,
you found out the Bad PlaceCopy !req
245. made a Michael suit,
freaked out,Copy !req
246. didn't tell us why,
and then later,Copy !req
247. you lied to me
about why you freaked out?Copy !req
248. - And then you lied again
just a few minutes agoCopy !req
249. when you said that you never
got a call from Shawn.Copy !req
250. - Yes, but that lie was only
to cover my two earlier lies.Copy !req
251. I mean,
that's gotta be okay, right?Copy !req
252. - What?Copy !req
253. - Eleanor, don't you see
what they're doing?Copy !req
254. Shawn sent Glenn to undermine
our trust in each otherCopy !req
255. so you'll call The Judge
and restart the experiment.Copy !req
256. - Well, I have no reason
not to believe you,Copy !req
257. other than the three
very recent examplesCopy !req
258. we just laid out.Copy !req
259. Huddle.
Now.Copy !req
260. - Oh, hey, sorry.Copy !req
261. I just needed to grab this.
You know, it's chime time.Copy !req
262. - There's gotta be a way
to figure outCopy !req
263. if that's the real Michael.Copy !req
264. Is there a way
you can make some sort ofCopy !req
265. demon lie detector?Copy !req
266. - Oof. I don't know.Copy !req
267. The Janet babies
are still draining me,Copy !req
268. and I just had to put down
Daisy the horse blob,Copy !req
269. which was exhausting—
emotionally and physically.Copy !req
270. She fought back.
I won't get into details.Copy !req
271. I had to twist her head off.
Sorry.Copy !req
272. No more details.Copy !req
273. She did thrash.
She thrashed.Copy !req
274. Sorry.
- Okay,Copy !req
275. why don't we just get him drunk
so he starts blabbing?Copy !req
276. I mean,
what goes best with pig urine?Copy !req
277. - Coconut rum.
- That won't work on a demon.Copy !req
278. I'll try and make
a lie detector.Copy !req
279. - Oh, no.
Damn it.Copy !req
280. - What's going on in there?Copy !req
281. - I touched the dang diaper.Copy !req
282. - Get back in that room.Copy !req
283. So Michael saw the suit.
Big deal.Copy !req
284. I still think
you're forking with us.Copy !req
285. I think this is just like when
the Bad Place sent us Linda,Copy !req
286. who turned out to be some
super-jacked punching guy,Copy !req
287. and just like him,
you got busted.Copy !req
288. - That's the thing.
The puncher didn't get busted.Copy !req
289. It worked exactly as planned.Copy !req
290. The whole thing
was a diversionCopy !req
291. to get real Michael out,Copy !req
292. and sneak the imposter in
on a train.Copy !req
293. It must've happened
during the handoff.Copy !req
294. While Janet
was handcuffing Chris,Copy !req
295. a bunch of demons
must've grabbed Michael,Copy !req
296. yanked him away,
and then Vicky,Copy !req
297. in the Michael suit,
walked back out.Copy !req
298. You never would've known
the difference.Copy !req
299. Also, when Chris got back,Copy !req
300. I saw Shawn and him
celebrating.Copy !req
301. Why would they be happyCopy !req
302. if he wasn't supposed
to get caught?Copy !req
303. - Man, I love a good sabotage.Copy !req
304. - Or is that exactly
what you want us to think?Copy !req
305. - Motherforker.Copy !req
306. I knew there was something
weird about that puncher.Copy !req
307. I said that to Michael—Copy !req
308. and he dismissed it.Copy !req
309. - Yeah.
See what I mean?Copy !req
310. - Don't go anywhere.
Come on.Copy !req
311. If Michael is just
Vicky in a Michael suit,Copy !req
312. let's just take the suit off.Copy !req
313. - Yeah. Maybe we could
sneak up behind him,Copy !req
314. and try and pants him
from forehead.Copy !req
315. - That won't work.Copy !req
316. A demon can take
his own skin suit off,Copy !req
317. but no one else can.Copy !req
318. It's like a very
complicated bra.Copy !req
319. - Well, so be it.Copy !req
320. Take off your skin suit.Copy !req
321. - I can't.
- Sure, you can.Copy !req
322. You're either a demon
wearing a Michael suit,Copy !req
323. or you're a demon
wearing a Vicky suitCopy !req
324. who's wearing
a Michael suit over that.Copy !req
325. Just take off
your Michael suit,Copy !req
326. and show us
what you're working with.Copy !req
327. - I'm sorry.
I won't.Copy !req
328. - That's very suspicious.
- I know, but I'm not Vicky.Copy !req
329. I just don't want to show you
what's underneath here.Copy !req
330. - I've seen a lot
of weird hogs in my life, dude.Copy !req
331. Get over yourself.
- That's not it.Copy !req
332. I'm a fire squid.Copy !req
333. - Dope.Copy !req
334. - No.Copy !req
335. Not dope.Copy !req
336. I'm a 6,000-foot tall
fire squid.Copy !req
337. I have tentacles.Copy !req
338. There's teeth everywhere.Copy !req
339. I'm on fire,
and my neck is long.Copy !req
340. And there's a smell,Copy !req
341. and lots of juice.Copy !req
342. There's so much juice, El.Copy !req
343. - I think I speak for everyone
here when I sayCopy !req
344. I really have to see this.Copy !req
345. - So you're not gonna
take off your demon SpanxCopy !req
346. because you're shy?Copy !req
347. Well, that's convenient.Copy !req
348. - Eleanor,
if I take off this suit,Copy !req
349. I will crash through the roofCopy !req
350. and the entire Neighborhood
will see meCopy !req
351. and the experiment
will be blown.Copy !req
352. But it's more than that.Copy !req
353. You guys will never
look at me the same way again.Copy !req
354. I won't just be Michael.Copy !req
355. I'll be...Copy !req
356. some disgusting
mass of burning tentacles.Copy !req
357. Do you really
want to be friendsCopy !req
358. with something like that?Copy !req
359. - Yes.
I keep saying.Copy !req
360. - Eleanor.Copy !req
361. Now I don't know if this
will work, but theoretically,Copy !req
362. if you point it at a demon
and he's lying,Copy !req
363. it'll turn red.Copy !req
364. If he's telling the truth,
it'll turn green.Copy !req
365. - Okay.
Glenn.Copy !req
366. This is a lie detector.Copy !req
367. Let us show you how it works.Copy !req
368. What's your name?Copy !req
369. - Well,
everyone calls me Glenn,Copy !req
370. but the name on my demon
certificate is actuallyCopy !req
371. Snakes Pour Forth
From His Anu—Copy !req
372. - Glenn blew up.
Glenn blew up.Copy !req
373. - Or is that exactly what
he wants us to think?Copy !req
374. - So does blowing up meanCopy !req
375. he was telling
the truth or lying?Copy !req
376. - Neither. That was not
supposed to happen.Copy !req
377. I've never killed
anybody before.Copy !req
378. - No, don't worry.
Demons can't die.Copy !req
379. He'll slowly reform himself
over a few months,Copy !req
380. passing through all the stages
of demon growth—Copy !req
381. larva, slug monster,
spooky little girl,Copy !req
382. teenage boy,
giant ball of tongues,Copy !req
383. social media CEO,
and then finally demon, so...Copy !req
384. Look at the bright side.
This worked out perfectly.Copy !req
385. I mean,
not for Glenn, obviously,Copy !req
386. but for us.Copy !req
387. Lying demon's gone.Copy !req
388. We're still here.
All good.Copy !req
389. - No.Copy !req
390. we're not all good, man.Copy !req
391. You're either Michael
and you lied,Copy !req
392. or you're Vicky
in a Michael suit.Copy !req
393. Okay, I'm gonna go for a walk.Copy !req
394. Nobody go anywhere.Copy !req
395. Chidi?
- Hey.Copy !req
396. - Hey, I didn't think anyone
would still be up.Copy !req
397. Are you okay?Copy !req
398. - Yeah, yeah, I'm justCopy !req
399. practicing drawing
viable horses—Copy !req
400. ones that aren't crimes,Copy !req
401. you know, against nature.Copy !req
402. - Okay,
I know this mood of yoursCopy !req
403. from reading
your file and whatnot.Copy !req
404. Why don't you take a break,
and we'll get some food in you?Copy !req
405. - Well, I'm done.Copy !req
406. I scooped it all up into
one steaming pile of Glenn.Copy !req
407. - Maybe I can
put him back together.Copy !req
408. I'm hella good at puzzles.Copy !req
409. I finished this word search
in, like, 30 seconds.Copy !req
410. - Jason, I feel terrible.Copy !req
411. I know he was a demon
and he may have lied to us,Copy !req
412. but he didn't deserve that.Copy !req
413. - You were only
trying to help us.Copy !req
414. Look, I know
this is a weird time,Copy !req
415. but if you ever want to talk,Copy !req
416. just know that
I'm here for you, girl.Copy !req
417. - Thanks, Jason.Copy !req
418. That means a lot.Copy !req
419. - Mmm.
I gotta say.Copy !req
420. Out of all the human stuff
I've been able to experienceCopy !req
421. in this neighborhood,
nachos—number one.Copy !req
422. Easy.
- Really?Copy !req
423. - Yeah.Copy !req
424. I mean, salty, crunchy,Copy !req
425. cheesy, little bit of a kick?Copy !req
426. Name one better thing
humans have created.Copy !req
427. - The Sistine Chapel?Copy !req
428. - Pfft.
Paint on a ceiling.Copy !req
429. I mean, it's fine,Copy !req
430. but can you eat it
at the movies?Copy !req
431. - Touché.Copy !req
432. - Listen, don't stay up
all night drawing horses.Copy !req
433. It's really fine.Copy !req
434. - I know.
I just...Copy !req
435. feel like I made the world
a little bit worse,Copy !req
436. and I won't be okay until
I make it better again.Copy !req
437. - Making yourself miserableCopy !req
438. to ease the suffering
of others—Copy !req
439. about the most
Chidi thing you can do.Copy !req
440. I'll see you later.Copy !req
441. - Do you want to take the rest
of the those nachos?Copy !req
442. - Yeah, I do.
Thank you.Copy !req
443. Okay, here's where I'm at.Copy !req
444. I just don't know
if I can ever trust you.Copy !req
445. I'm gonna call The Judge.
We'll start over.Copy !req
446. We won't have Chidi in the mix,Copy !req
447. but he'll be on our side again,
which is almost as good.Copy !req
448. - But we know the humans now.Copy !req
449. Starting over
sounds exhausting.Copy !req
450. - I know,
but if that's not Michael,Copy !req
451. he could sabotage us
in ways we can't even perceive,Copy !req
452. and even if it is,
I can't fully trust him,Copy !req
453. so every time
something goes wrong,Copy !req
454. a little part of me
is gonna wonder.Copy !req
455. We have to start over.Copy !req
456. - I have a better idea.Copy !req
457. I'm gonna blow myself up.
What?Copy !req
458. - I'll blow myself up.Copy !req
459. That way,
you can continue the experimentCopy !req
460. with Chidi
as one of the people,Copy !req
461. which is our best chance
to ever be successful.Copy !req
462. - Why not just
lock you in a roomCopy !req
463. or in Janet's void
or something?Copy !req
464. - But then you might worry
that I'd escape.Copy !req
465. I blow myself up,
I'm out of your hair for good.Copy !req
466. Well, parts of me will be
in your actual hair,Copy !req
467. but you get it.
- Michael, wait.Copy !req
468. - Tahani, this is the only way.Copy !req
469. There's literally
noting I can sayCopy !req
470. that will make you realize
that I'm really me.Copy !req
471. Oh, boy.
This is gonna suck.Copy !req
472. Hopefully, I will see you all
in a few months. Good luck.Copy !req
473. Oh, and make sure that you, uh,Copy !req
474. get all of me
into the container,Copy !req
475. or I might come back
way shorter.Copy !req
476. And that would bum me out.Copy !req
477. I wish I were saying this in
different circumstances but...Copy !req
478. Take it sleazy.Copy !req
479. - Michael, wait!Copy !req
480. - Oh, crud nuts.Copy !req
481. - Jason, how did you know
that was bad Janet?Copy !req
482. - Michael said
there's nothing he could sayCopy !req
483. that would make you realize
he's really him,Copy !req
484. but Janet does have a thing
she can sayCopy !req
485. that does make me realize
she is really not her.Copy !req
486. - What?Copy !req
487. - I called Janet "girl,"Copy !req
488. but she didn't say,
"Not a girl."Copy !req
489. - The real Janet always says,Copy !req
490. "Not a girl."Copy !req
491. Oh, wow.Copy !req
492. That realization is the only
thing that stopped meCopy !req
493. from becoming a pile of goo.Copy !req
494. Oh.Copy !req
495. - Wait,
how did you pull it off?Copy !req
496. You were outside on the platform
with me the whole time.Copy !req
497. - We brought two
bad Janets on the train,Copy !req
498. you dumb, dumb idiot.Copy !req
499. The other one distracted you
on the platformCopy !req
500. while good Janet
brought Chris onto the train.Copy !req
501. I snuck out,
marbelized Janet,Copy !req
502. and then I took over, baby.Copy !req
503. Stupid Michael never knew.Copy !req
504. I had you fartknockers
fooled for weeks,Copy !req
505. until Glenn the traitor
ruined everything.Copy !req
506. That guy sucks, right?Copy !req
507. Shut up, Glenn.Copy !req
508. - Wait, wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
509. Bad Janets can't impersonate
Good Janets.Copy !req
510. I've seen them try.
Their heads melt, so...Copy !req
511. - Oh.
Oh, you're so smart, sir.Copy !req
512. Well, listen, here's the thing.Copy !req
513. Shawn rebooted me,
like, 40 million tines.Copy !req
514. Wait, tine-him-is.Copy !req
515. Time-ses.
These things rule.Copy !req
516. - Oh, dip.
This means Janet didn't dump me.Copy !req
517. Her weird sister did.Copy !req
518. - Everything makes
so much more sense.Copy !req
519. All of Janet's ideas
were so counterproductive.Copy !req
520. She brought
the horse monster to life.Copy !req
521. She forced me
to antagonize John.Copy !req
522. She got us to doubt
Eleanor's leadership skills.Copy !req
523. - Oh, I was just
about to launch an ideaCopy !req
524. where Tahani
was gonna give herselfCopy !req
525. an asymmetrical haircut.Copy !req
526. - You monster.Copy !req
527. - Thank you!Copy !req
528. - Guys, we still have
a problem here.Copy !req
529. You still don't have evidence
that I'm actually me.Copy !req
530. - Sure, we do.Copy !req
531. You offered
to sacrifice yourselfCopy !req
532. to help a bunch
of cockroaches.Copy !req
533. That's about the most
Michael thing you could do.Copy !req
534. - Then where's real Janet?Copy !req
535. Oh, she's in the Bad Place.Copy !req
536. She's probably wiping her butt
with her own butt.Copy !req
537. - I can't bear the idea of poor
Janet down there all alone.Copy !req
538. What should we do?Copy !req
539. - I know what to do.Copy !req
540. It's like what that guy
who blew up said.Copy !req
541. Shawn's a bully,Copy !req
542. and sometimes, the only thing
a bully understandsCopy !req
543. is punch in the mouth.Copy !req
544. I'm gonna go down there,Copy !req
545. I'm gonna punch him
in the mouth,Copy !req
546. and I'm gonna get Janet back!Copy !req
547. - Oh, sounds like
somebody has a plan.Copy !req
548. - Dope.
Where is he?Copy !req
549. What's the plan?
- It's okay.Copy !req
550. You sure you
can hold down the fort?Copy !req
551. - Not at all.
You sure you can do your thing?Copy !req
552. - Nope.Copy !req
553. We'll just try our best.
Right?Copy !req
554. Okay, let's go get our girl.Copy !req
555. - Not a girl.Copy !req