1. - This is daily notes log
for attempt number threeCopy !req
2. of my neighborhood experiment.Copy !req
3. Obviously,
I hope and assumeCopy !req
4. this will be the final version.Copy !req
5. No, I know it will be.Copy !req
6. All the kinks
have been worked out.Copy !req
7. This is the one.Copy !req
8. And after I pull this off,Copy !req
9. they're gonna hang my pictureCopy !req
10. in the Bad Place
Hall of FameCopy !req
11. right next to the guy
who invented bees with teeth.Copy !req
12. You, Eleanor Shellstrop,
are dead.Copy !req
13. - Cool.Copy !req
14. - I'm Chris Baker.Copy !req
15. I'm your soul mate.Copy !req
16. - Bring it in, man.Copy !req
17. - Sorry, I must ask,Copy !req
18. why are you wearing a sash
that says "best person" on it?Copy !req
19. - Apparently, I am
the number one points-getterCopy !req
20. in the entire neighborhood.Copy !req
21. - Is that so?Copy !req
22. I always have to have
my sashes custom-madeCopy !req
23. due to my height
and bosom size.Copy !req
24. Also, apparently,
sashes are out this season.Copy !req
25. The diagonal line really draws
one's eye to the chin bloat.Copy !req
26. - Go fork yourself,
you mean giraffe.Copy !req
27. - Run! Giraffes!Copy !req
28. Giraffes! Run!Copy !req
29. Oh! Mean giraffes are
destroying the neighborhood.Copy !req
30. Gah!Copy !req
31. - Oh, boy.Copy !req
32. Hey, robot slave lady?Copy !req
33. Busty Alexa?Copy !req
34. Oh, Janet?
- Hi, there.Copy !req
35. - Gah, still not used to it.Copy !req
36. Hey, what if I,
an already amazing personCopy !req
37. who definitely belongs here,
wanted to learnCopy !req
38. even more about
how to be a good person?Copy !req
39. Is one of these nerds, like,
a teacher or a life coachCopy !req
40. or an Instagram fitness model
or something?Copy !req
41. Eleanor, I'd like you to meet
Chidi Anagonye.Copy !req
42. Chidi, this is Eleanor.Copy !req
43. - Janet tells me you were
a professor of some kind.Copy !req
44. - Yes, I was a professor
of ethics and moral philosophyCopy !req
45. focusing on deontology.Copy !req
46. - Hang on one second, Cheebee.Copy !req
47. This guy's too big of a nerd.
Who else you got?Copy !req
48. - Michael, what do we do here?
- I don't know.Copy !req
49. Apparently, the Bad Place
knows that one of youCopy !req
50. actually belongs down there
with them,Copy !req
51. and they want that person
to get inside the obelisk,Copy !req
52. or they're gonna take
all of you.Copy !req
53. - I can't go.
I'm too young to dieCopy !req
54. and too old to eat off
the kids' menu.Copy !req
55. What a stupid age I am.Copy !req
56. - I'd never survive down there.Copy !req
57. They should take Eleanor.
She's a pear shape.Copy !req
58. She'd fit right in.
- Oh, excuse me.Copy !req
59. You wish you could have
a bite of this pear.Copy !req
60. - I'll go. I deserve to go.
You guys can stay.Copy !req
61. - Chidi, you're not going.
- No, I have to go.Copy !req
62. Holy forking shirt.Copy !req
63. You guys, don't you get it?Copy !req
64. Michael is torturing us.Copy !req
65. That's why our lives
have been so miserableCopy !req
66. since the moment we got here.Copy !req
67. This isn't the Good Place.Copy !req
68. It's the Bad Place.Copy !req
69. Ahh, farts.Copy !req
70. Okay, attempt number 11.Copy !req
71. Let's focus on the positives.Copy !req
72. Eleanor always hates her house.Copy !req
73. Tahani always hates Eleanor.Copy !req
74. Jason hates being quiet.Copy !req
75. Chidi immediately
gets a stomachache.Copy !req
76. So there's a lot
to work with here.Copy !req
77. - Hang on one second, Cheeto.Copy !req
78. So it's gonna be a hard pass
on Superdork Jones over there.Copy !req
79. Anybody else you got
to teach me?Copy !req
80. - You guys ready for our lesson?Copy !req
81. We're talking David Hume today,Copy !req
82. bundle theory of the self,
baby.Copy !req
83. - Sounds like a real banger,
but you guys gotta scram.Copy !req
84. My soul mate has some sort
of surprise planned for me,Copy !req
85. and he seems
very excited about it.Copy !req
86. - Well, you two are certainly
getting alongCopy !req
87. very well these days.Copy !req
88. - Yeah, I'm actually kind of
into Sebastian lately.Copy !req
89. I mean, he's a little hokey,Copy !req
90. but he's growing on me
a little bit.Copy !req
91. - Cool.Copy !req
92. - Okay, no, no.
- What?Copy !req
93. - No version of heaven for
anyone would ever includeCopy !req
94. three hours of this.Copy !req
95. We're in the Bad Place,
aren't we?Copy !req
96. - Damn it.Copy !req
97. That was a real
trip for biscuits,Copy !req
98. and now we're all wet,
Daddy-O.Copy !req
99. - I never even got to play
my stupid triangle.Copy !req
100. - No, no, no, no, Michael,
please, please, please!Copy !req
101. Please don't kill me.
I have so much to live for.Copy !req
102. - I'm sorry, Janet,
got to reboot youCopy !req
103. every time I start over.Copy !req
104. - Oh, I know.
I'm not actually upset.Copy !req
105. It's just the automatic
fail-safe mechanismCopy !req
106. that kicks in every time
you approach the plunger.Copy !req
107. Go ahead.
- Ah.Copy !req
108. - Michael, you monster!Copy !req
109. - Attempt 32.Copy !req
110. Attempt 57.Copy !req
111. Attempt 99.Copy !req
112. Attempt 108.Copy !req
113. I've analyzed some recent data.Copy !req
114. Eleanor always seems to realizeCopy !req
115. that they're in the Bad PlaceCopy !req
116. just at the moment that—
- Excuse me.Copy !req
117. Sorry, the door was open,
so I just came in.Copy !req
118. Did you just say
I'm in the Bad Place?Copy !req
119. - Attempt 109.Copy !req
120. I've closed and locked
the door.Copy !req
121. Uh, yep,
and we're ready to go.Copy !req
122. This is your soul mate Greg.Copy !req
123. This is your soul mate Glenn.Copy !req
124. This is your soul mate Tahani.Copy !req
125. This is your soul mate Lerf.Copy !req
126. This is your soul mate,
a golden retriever.Copy !req
127. - Hang on.Copy !req
128. Wait a minute.
You know what?Copy !req
129. Holy smokes.Copy !req
130. This is the Bad Place.Copy !req
131. This is the Bad Place!Copy !req
132. This is the Bad Place.Copy !req
133. This is the Bad Place.Copy !req
134. - The pig's getting angry.Copy !req
135. - This is the Bad Place!Copy !req
136. - Bees, bees, bees, bees.Copy !req
137. - Oh!
Oh, this is the Bad Place.Copy !req
138. Shh!Copy !req
139. - Michael, Michael, if I'm gone,Copy !req
140. who will take care of my birds?Copy !req
141. Michael, no, no, no, no, no!Copy !req
142. I—I'm pregnant.
And it's your baby.Copy !req
143. I have tickets to "Hamilton"
next week,Copy !req
144. and there's a rumor that
Daveed Diggs is coming back.Copy !req
145. - Janet, we've been through
this hundreds of times.Copy !req
146. I mean, can you just chill out?Copy !req
147. Is that possible, Janet?Copy !req
148. Can you just chill out
a little?Copy !req
149. - Nope, it's gonna be the same
every time.Copy !req
150. - Yeah, yeah, I know.Copy !req
151. - No, no, no!
No, Michael!Copy !req
152. - Please, please, calm down.
Calm down.Copy !req
153. All right, okay, calm down.
Calm down.Copy !req
154. I mean, why even bother
at this point?Copy !req
155. I'm obviously never gonna
get it right.Copy !req
156. "I'm Eleanor. I'm so smart.Copy !req
157. I'm actually in the Bad Place."Copy !req
158. Blah, blah, blah, blah.Copy !req
159. Shawn still thinks
I'm on version two.Copy !req
160. I just keep lying to him,
and it's really bad,Copy !req
161. but I—I mean,
I have to keep trying.Copy !req
162. I'm in too deep.Copy !req
163. And I'm really fat right now.Copy !req
164. I'm stress-eating, and I'm
gaining weight in my thighs.Copy !req
165. I mean, look at that.Copy !req
166. Ohh.Copy !req
167. - So sorry.
Who are you?Copy !req
168. And where am I?Copy !req
169. - It doesn't matter.Copy !req
170. This one doesn't even count.Copy !req
171. - Hang on one second, Chili.Copy !req
172. This guy sucks.
Who else you got?Copy !req
173. - I can hear you.Copy !req
174. - Michael, you simply
cannot expect ChidiCopy !req
175. to decide whether
Eleanor goes to the...Copy !req
176. - Yo, yo, homies, check it.Copy !req
177. There's something messed up
with this place.Copy !req
178. We keep fighting
with each other.Copy !req
179. None of the TVs get
the NFL RedZone channel.Copy !req
180. My soul mate doesn't even know
who Blake Bortles is.Copy !req
181. I know this sounds crazy,Copy !req
182. but I think
we're in the Bad Place.Copy !req
183. - Jason figured it out?Copy !req
184. Jason?Copy !req
185. This is a real low point.Copy !req
186. Yeah, this one hurts.Copy !req
187. Ow.Copy !req
188. Okay, this might be the one.
We're a week in.Copy !req
189. Chidi's teaching Eleanor,
but she hates it.Copy !req
190. Tahani still thinks
that Jason's a monk.Copy !req
191. Everyone's miserable.Copy !req
192. I'm so happy.Copy !req
193. Fingers crossed.Copy !req
194. Vicky, where is everyone?Copy !req
195. - They're not coming, Michael.Copy !req
196. You have lost control
of this experiment,Copy !req
197. - I speak for the entire crew,
Michael.Copy !req
198. We're sick of it.
We can barely rememberCopy !req
199. what we're supposed
to be doing anymore, plus...Copy !req
200. I spent weeks perfectingCopy !req
201. this excellent
Australian accent, I did.Copy !req
202. And then I never
got a chance to use it.Copy !req
203. - You're still upset
about the size of your part?Copy !req
204. - Yes, I want
a more important role.Copy !req
205. But that's just my demand;
all 318 of usCopy !req
206. have something
we want to do differently.Copy !req
207. - Some people
want bigger houses.Copy !req
208. Gayle wants
a different backstoryCopy !req
209. where she was
an MMA fighter?Copy !req
210. Gunnar wants to bite
and/or nibbleCopy !req
211. on humans while they sleep.Copy !req
212. You do know, Vicky, that
if I were to do some of theseCopy !req
213. that it would be
a dead giveaway?Copy !req
214. - And I can help you
explain that to them.Copy !req
215. But some of these are doable.Copy !req
216. And you're gonna do 'em.Copy !req
217. - So Aristotle believes
your character is voluntary,Copy !req
218. because, uh—are you
ignoring me right now?Copy !req
219. It's day two
of our ethics lessons,Copy !req
220. and you're already tuning out?Copy !req
221. - No, sorry, I just got
distracted for a second.Copy !req
222. The last thing I remember
you saying is... nothing.Copy !req
223. Can you start
from the beginning?Copy !req
224. - Okay, I need a little break.Copy !req
225. Can we take a walk
or something,Copy !req
226. maybe get some clam chowder?Copy !req
227. Where is everyone?
- Who knows?Copy !req
228. Maybe they finally figured out
clam chowder is disgustingCopy !req
229. 'cause it's basically
a savory latte with bugs in it.Copy !req
230. Is someone smoking a cigar?Copy !req
231. - Michael
really screwed this up.Copy !req
232. The regular Bad Place was fine.Copy !req
233. If the four-headed flying bears
ain't broke, don't fix 'em.Copy !req
234. - What was wrong with impaling?
I loved impaling.Copy !req
235. Hey, Todd, got a light?Copy !req
236. - Uh, yeah, obviously
I have a light.Copy !req
237. You know, you guys
aren't supposed to be smoking.Copy !req
238. - You're supposed to keep
your human suit on.Copy !req
239. - Those suits
are really itchy for us.Copy !req
240. - Who even cares if they see us?Copy !req
241. They're just gonna
get rebooted anyway.Copy !req
242. - Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.Copy !req
243. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.Copy !req
244. - This is the Bad Place.Copy !req
245. I forking knew it!Copy !req
246. And clam chowder
is disgusting.Copy !req
247. It's just hot ocean milk
with dead animal croutons.Copy !req
248. - Okay, but what do we do,
panic, freak?Copy !req
249. I usually panic,
but I am happy to freak.Copy !req
250. - No. We have to stay cool.Copy !req
251. As my mom always used to say,Copy !req
252. if a cop handcuffs you
to a bike rack,Copy !req
253. there's always something
you can gnaw through.Copy !req
254. - Your mom always said that?Copy !req
255. - Think.
Come on, brain.Copy !req
256. Janet!
- Hi, there.Copy !req
257. How can I help you?
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
258. How do we know
she's not a part of it?Copy !req
259. - We don't,
but we gotta risk it.Copy !req
260. Janet, can we, like,
leave the neighborhood,Copy !req
261. get as far away as possible?Copy !req
262. Is there anywhere we can go?Copy !req
263. - So we're in the Bad Place,Copy !req
264. and I know why: almond milk.Copy !req
265. I knew it was bad
for the environment,Copy !req
266. but I loved the way it coated
my tongue with a weird film.Copy !req
267. Who else is being tortured?
Are we the only two?Copy !req
268. - I got to assume
Jason is as well—Jianyu.Copy !req
269. You know him as Jianyu,
but his real name is Jason,Copy !req
270. and he's a dirtbag
from Florida.Copy !req
271. - What?
- Also,Copy !req
272. Tahani is a candidate
as far as I'm concerned.Copy !req
273. Yesterday, she told me that she
was Taylor Swift's best friendCopy !req
274. but Taylor Swift
wasn't her best friend.Copy !req
275. She sucks.Copy !req
276. - No offense,
but I can't believeCopy !req
277. you and I ended up
in the same place.Copy !req
278. - Hey, I'm not thrilled
about it either, bud.Copy !req
279. I always assumed the afterlife
was full of cool people,Copy !req
280. not talking sweater vests.Copy !req
281. - You—
- We're here.Copy !req
282. Aren't trains neat?Copy !req
283. Choo-choo.Copy !req
284. - Hi. You gotta help us.Copy !req
285. I'm Eleanor.
This is Chidi.Copy !req
286. And see, we thought
we were in the Good Place,Copy !req
287. but as it turns out—
- Yeah, guys. I know.Copy !req
288. You've been here
15 times already.Copy !req
289. - What?Copy !req
290. - Did you bring the cocaine
I asked for?Copy !req
291. Please tell me you somehow
remembered this time.Copy !req
292. Mama needs her medicine.Copy !req
293. - We've met before?Copy !req
294. - I'm Janet.
- I know.Copy !req
295. - Vicky, let's look
at the big picture here.Copy !req
296. Now, if you all
can just stick with my planCopy !req
297. and we pull it off,
we'll be heroes.Copy !req
298. You could write
your own ticket.Copy !req
299. You might even land
the Jared from Subway account.Copy !req
300. - Yeah, but I don't think
you can pull it off.Copy !req
301. You can't even pull off
those bow ties.Copy !req
302. - That was very mean,Copy !req
303. but I'm gonna move past that
in the name of unit cohesion.Copy !req
304. - You're gonna reboot those four
dum-dums one more time,Copy !req
305. and then I'm taking over.Copy !req
306. I'm going to execute my version
of this neighborhood.Copy !req
307. You see,
I've been working on itCopy !req
308. while all of your versions
fell apart.Copy !req
309. - This is insubordination.Copy !req
310. And if you do not do
what I tell you immediately,Copy !req
311. you are going down.Copy !req
312. - That's a complete report
of every mistake you've made,Copy !req
313. every screw-up, every rebootCopy !req
314. all laid out
in excruciating detail.Copy !req
315. Now, I'm sure your boss
would love to hear all aboutCopy !req
316. how "attempt number 2"
is really going.Copy !req
317. So actually,
if you don't do what I say,Copy !req
318. you're going down.Copy !req
319. - Is it always the three of us?Copy !req
320. - It's always at least
Eleanor and Janet.Copy !req
321. Usually Chidi's in the mix.Copy !req
322. Sometimes Jason is here.Copy !req
323. One time, Jason and Tahani
were here.Copy !req
324. But you know what?
No matter what the combo is,Copy !req
325. I always ask you guys
to bring me cocaine next time,Copy !req
326. and you never do.Copy !req
327. Do you have anything
I can snort,Copy !req
328. like a crushed-up aspirinCopy !req
329. or some eye shadow
or cocaine?Copy !req
330. - Still no.Copy !req
331. There's only one question
we need to answer right now,Copy !req
332. and that is,
what do we do next?Copy !req
333. I mean, this place
doesn't seem terrible.Copy !req
334. Maybe we should
just stay here forever.Copy !req
335. - You always say that.Copy !req
336. And you always end up
going back.Copy !req
337. I mean, sometimes you go back
because you feel badCopy !req
338. your friends don't know
what you know.Copy !req
339. Sometimes you go back
because you walk in on meCopy !req
340. while I'm masturbating,
and sometimes you go backCopy !req
341. because I walk in on you
while I'm masturbating.Copy !req
342. But no matter what,
you always go back.Copy !req
343. You formulate a plan to defeat
Michael, and you head back.Copy !req
344. - Okay, a plan.
We need a plan, but...Copy !req
345. What if we come up
with a planCopy !req
346. we've already tried before?Copy !req
347. Will you please stop that?Copy !req
348. - Yeah, just to
help you out a little,Copy !req
349. I've written down every plan
you've ever come up with,Copy !req
350. which obviously never worked,
because you're here,Copy !req
351. and you're back, so good luck.Copy !req
352. - "Physically attack Michael.Copy !req
353. "Seduce Michael.Copy !req
354. "Make Michael think he's the one
in the Bad Place.Copy !req
355. Catch that magic panda.
Use her powers."Copy !req
356. Oh, I'm guessing
that was Jason.Copy !req
357. - That guy has no idea
what's going on.Copy !req
358. - Hello? Hello.Copy !req
359. Where is everyone?Copy !req
360. Janet?
- Hey, there, Jason.Copy !req
361. - Oh, hey, homey.Copy !req
362. Uh, I mean... Jason?Copy !req
363. Who is Jason?
I am a monk.Copy !req
364. - You know what...Copy !req
365. Can I talk to you
for a second?Copy !req
366. I'm in a tight spot,
and I could use someoneCopy !req
367. to bounce some ideas
off of, okay?Copy !req
368. Oh, yeah, real quick,
you're really in the Bad Place,Copy !req
369. and you're being tortured.Copy !req
370. - What?Copy !req
371. - I know it says here
that we already triedCopy !req
372. throwing Tahani under the bus,Copy !req
373. but maybe we should
revisit that.Copy !req
374. Throw her a little bit harder.Copy !req
375. Maybe under a bigger bus.Copy !req
376. What do you think?Copy !req
377. - I think this is pointless.Copy !req
378. We're trapped in
a warped version ofCopy !req
379. Nietzsche's eternal recurrence.Copy !req
380. - Oh, cool, more philosophy.
That'll help us.Copy !req
381. - Well, don't you see
the problem?Copy !req
382. We are experiencing karma,
but we can't learn from ourCopy !req
383. mistakes, because our memories
keep getting erased.Copy !req
384. It's an epistemological
nightmare.Copy !req
385. - Ugh, even your nightmares
are boring.Copy !req
386. - You—you are so mean,
Eleanor.Copy !req
387. You're just like
those childhood bulliesCopy !req
388. who said I would never
get tenure.Copy !req
389. - And you are so irritating!Copy !req
390. In one of these reboots,
I probably strangled youCopy !req
391. and then went to the Even Worse
Place, but you know what?Copy !req
392. I bet it was worth it.Copy !req
393. - Oh, nice.Copy !req
394. - Ugh!Copy !req
395. Sorry, can I just vent to you
for a second?Copy !req
396. Chidi is so annoying.Copy !req
397. I just—I cannot believe thatCopy !req
398. he is the one
I'm stuck here with.Copy !req
399. - Uh-huh, wow, crazy.Copy !req
400. - Oh, sorry.
Jeez, man, I thought you couldCopy !req
401. be human for, like,
two seconds and listen to me.Copy !req
402. - I have, Eleanor.Copy !req
403. I have listened to you
talk about Chidi 15 timesCopy !req
404. in 15 different ways.Copy !req
405. Let me just cut to the chase.Copy !req
406. You two, you got it bad
for each other.Copy !req
407. - No, we don't.
Chidi's just a friend.Copy !req
408. What am I saying?
He's not even a friend.Copy !req
409. He's just a weird teacher
that I hate.Copy !req
410. Dude, I do not want to watch
"Cannonball Run 2" right now.Copy !req
411. All right, what happened in the
first one, so I'm all caught up?Copy !req
412. I don't know
what's gonna happen to us,Copy !req
413. but I need to tell you
something.Copy !req
414. I love you.Copy !req
415. And you don't need to respond
'cause I knowCopy !req
416. you have trouble
saying how you feel—Copy !req
417. - I love you too.Copy !req
418. Very funny, but that—that's
obviously not real.Copy !req
419. - Oh, that's real, baby.Copy !req
420. That's real nasty.Copy !req
421. Yeah, this was, like, the
sixth time you guys were here.Copy !req
422. I saw you getting sexy
the previous three times,Copy !req
423. so I cut a little hole in
the wall so I could tape you.Copy !req
424. Call it my lookin' hole.Copy !req
425. - Is that a camera?Copy !req
426. - Mindy, you pervert!Copy !req
427. How many times have
Chidi and I slept together?Copy !req
428. - 8 different days, but,
like, 20 different sessions.Copy !req
429. - And how many times
did we say... that stuff?Copy !req
430. - Oh, only once.
Oh, God, I hated it.Copy !req
431. It, like, really
killed the vibe for me.Copy !req
432. See, after I watch the porno
I made starring you,Copy !req
433. I watch you talk about
your feelings to cool down.Copy !req
434. It's, like, anti-porn.Copy !req
435. - I've only ever said
"I love you"Copy !req
436. to two men my entire life,Copy !req
437. Stone Cold Steve AustinCopy !req
438. and a guy in a dark club
who I mistookCopy !req
439. for Stone Cold Steve Austin.Copy !req
440. I mean, why would you
show me that?Copy !req
441. - I don't know.Copy !req
442. You guys are, like,
trapped here together.Copy !req
443. I feel bad.Copy !req
444. You know, I'm rooting
for you guys.Copy !req
445. - No, there is no "us guys."Copy !req
446. We basically
just met each other.Copy !req
447. - No, Eleanor.Copy !req
448. You guys have known each other
a really long time.Copy !req
449. Also, it doesn't matter
if I told you that or not,Copy !req
450. because when Michael
finds out he's failed again,Copy !req
451. he'll just reboot you.Copy !req
452. - Chidi, Janet, we're leaving.Copy !req
453. I am taking this with me.Copy !req
454. - How did it come to this?Copy !req
455. I was just trying to do
something innovativeCopy !req
456. and different that would
improve the way we makeCopy !req
457. humans' lives miserable
for eternity.Copy !req
458. - Mm, well—Copy !req
459. - Shut up.
What are my options?Copy !req
460. Do I have any?Copy !req
461. I mean, I can't go along
with her plan.Copy !req
462. It'll be a spectacular failure.Copy !req
463. But I can't ignore her
or she'll rat me out to Shawn.Copy !req
464. I'm trapped.Copy !req
465. - You're saying a lot of words
right now,Copy !req
466. and I only know some of them,
like "rat" and "Jason,"Copy !req
467. but I know a little wisdom
I can give you.Copy !req
468. - I know everything
that happened in your life,Copy !req
469. and it was all stupid,
so I highly doubt that.Copy !req
470. - I was a member of a 60-person
dance crew in Jacksonville.Copy !req
471. We were called
Dance Dance Resolution:Copy !req
472. We Resolve To Dance.Copy !req
473. One day, Donkey Doug and I
got into a fightCopy !req
474. because I'd framed
his girlfriendCopy !req
475. for boogie board theft,
so he startedCopy !req
476. a new dance crew
called Hashtag DougLifeCopy !req
477. and immediately challenged us
to a dance-off.Copy !req
478. He said, "Meet us
inside the abandonedCopy !req
479. orange juice factory
at midnight."Copy !req
480. That night, as the clock
struck 12:00,Copy !req
481. me and my crew came togetherCopy !req
482. with a determination
we had never shown beforeCopy !req
483. and slashed all their tires.Copy !req
484. It was dope.Copy !req
485. The end.Copy !req
486. By Jason Mendoza.Copy !req
487. - You know, that inane story
actually containsCopy !req
488. a bit of good advice.Copy !req
489. Thank you, Jason.Copy !req
490. - You got it, homey.Copy !req
491. I give good advice.Copy !req
492. Guess that's why
I'm in the Good Place.Copy !req
493. - Oh, there you guys are.Copy !req
494. - No, stop, no more lies.Copy !req
495. Jason, get over here.Copy !req
496. - That's right.Copy !req
497. We know his name is Jason,
not Jianyu.Copy !req
498. We know everything.Copy !req
499. I don't understand much of it,
but, yeah, I know it.Copy !req
500. - Your sick torture plan
is not working, okay?Copy !req
501. Because we keep figuring out
your little puzzle.Copy !req
502. We're winning,
which means you're losing.Copy !req
503. So you have two choices here,Copy !req
504. keep failing over and over
or realizeCopy !req
505. we're actually the ones
with all the power here.Copy !req
506. - Yeah, no, uh...
We're on the same page.Copy !req
507. - What?Copy !req
508. - I want to team up
with you guys.Copy !req
509. - What? Why? You do? What?Copy !req
510. - I'm in a bit of a bind,
and I could use some backup,Copy !req
511. or as Jason put it, um,
I need a new dance crew.Copy !req
512. So what do you say?
New best friends?Copy !req
513. - Stop it.Copy !req