1. - In the afterlife,
there's a good place
Copy !req
2. and there's a bad place.
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3. You're in the Good Place.
Copy !req
4. - Eleanor, you are my soul mate.
Copy !req
5. - Chidi, you'll stand by my side
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6. no matter what, right?
- Of course I will.
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7. - I'm not supposed to be here.
Copy !req
8. - Wait, what?
- Eleanor, Chidi,
Copy !req
9. I would like you to meet
Tahani and Jianyu.
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10. - Boop!
- Oh!
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11. You booped me.
- I did.
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12. - His real name is Jason.
He's a drug-dealing DJ
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13. from Florida.
- What's up, homey?
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14. - The problem
in the neighborhood... is me.
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15. - You have all done bad things
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16. since you arrived here.
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17. The Bad Place is owed
two people.
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18. You can decide.
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19. - Holy motherforking shirtballs.
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20. This is the Bad Place.
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21. - Except for you four,
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22. everyone in this neighborhood
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23. is one of us.
- You saw us all on Earth—
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24. a selfish ass, an idiot DJ,
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25. a tortured academic,
a hot, rich fraud.
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26. You thought we would torture
each other.
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27. The only thing
you succeeded in doing
Copy !req
28. was bringing us all together.
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29. - That's it!
My big mistake
Copy !req
30. was having you be soul mates
living next to each other.
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31. Next time, I'll spread you out
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32. so it's more of a slow burn.
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33. I'm gonna erase your memories,
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34. make a few changes,
and start over again.
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35. Just gotta get the boss-man
to sign off.
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36. - If this thing
goes sideways again,
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37. you are done.
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38. - Do your worst.
We figured it out once,
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39. we can do it again.
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40. Janet?
Open up.
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41. Because you know what, Michael?
Copy !req
42. You basic—
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43. - You, Eleanor Shellstrop,
are dead.
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44. - Cool.
- I'm your soul mate.
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45. - You'll stand by me
no matter what, right?
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46. - Hold that thought.
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47. Is it okay if I go work out?
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48. I gotta stay jacked.
It's... who I am.
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49. - See you soon.
- Hi there.
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50. - I'm Janet.
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51. I think this is yours.
After I was rebooted,
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52. I found it in my mouth.
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53. - What the fork is a "Chidi"?
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54. Why can't I say fork?
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55. - Okay, here we go.
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56. Confidence, Mikey.
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57. Project confidence.
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58. There he is!
How's it going, boss-man?
Copy !req
59. - Enough chit-chat.
Is everything in place
Copy !req
60. for version two?
- Yup!
Copy !req
61. We're keeping everything
from version one
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62. that made them miserable,
adding a bunch of new stuff
Copy !req
63. that they'll hate.
For example,
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64. all the coffee is
from those little pods.
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65. Diabolical.
Copy !req
66. Plus, they will all have
new soul mates, of course.
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67. You gotta trust me
on this, boss.
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68. I've thought of everything.
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69. I won't let you down.
- I think you will.
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70. I think this entire project
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71. of yours is stupid
and doomed to fail.
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72. I think you're going to be
retired,
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73. eliminated from existence
Copy !req
74. and burned on the surface
of a billion suns.
Copy !req
75. And I have no doubt that you
Copy !req
76. and your cockamamy experiment
Copy !req
77. will go down in history
Copy !req
78. as colossal failures.
Copy !req
79. - You know, I think if—
- Toodle-oo.
Copy !req
80. - Okay, take two, folks.
Copy !req
81. Any last questions
before we start up again?
Copy !req
82. Yes.
- Just so I'm clear:
Copy !req
83. we're not pairing them up
this time?
Copy !req
84. - Correct.
Obviously, the eventual goal
Copy !req
85. is to get them
to torture each other,
Copy !req
86. but first we're going to create
Copy !req
87. some nice, individual torment.
Copy !req
88. In version one—
making them soul mates,
Copy !req
89. we probably bit off
more than we could chew.
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90. - We could bite them?
Copy !req
91. I didn't know we were
allowed to bite them.
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92. - That's an expression, Chuck.
Copy !req
93. All right, go ahead, Vicky.
Copy !req
94. - Yeah, I have some questions
Copy !req
95. about my new character.
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96. I feel like I got Real Eleanor—
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97. like, I got her, you know?
Copy !req
98. But this new character,
"Denise"--I mean,
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99. who is she?
I don't get her.
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100. Is she a quirky
best friend type,
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101. or more of a femme fatale,
Copy !req
102. "sexuality is her weapon
of choice" type?
Copy !req
103. - Both—both those things.
- I have some questions
Copy !req
104. about my character too.
Like...
Copy !req
105. can he bite them?
- No.
Copy !req
106. Okay, reminder: the most
important thing tonight—
Copy !req
107. and this is crucial—
you need to get Eleanor drunk
Copy !req
108. at the welcome party,
so she will say and do
Copy !req
109. a bunch of bad stuff.
And then we take that stuff
Copy !req
110. and use it to build
our chaos sequence
Copy !req
111. in the morning.
For example,
Copy !req
112. you remember last time,
Copy !req
113. she stole
all the cocktail shrimp,
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114. and we made giant nightmare
shrimp fly through the sky?
Copy !req
115. See, it's those details
Copy !req
116. that make her realize
she's in danger
Copy !req
117. of being found out.
Copy !req
118. I know that this kind of
large-scale deception
Copy !req
119. is not what you were
trained to do.
Copy !req
120. There are gonna be days
when you're just sick
Copy !req
121. of being around
these disgusting humans,
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122. with their weird, gross
little mouths,
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123. and their stupid elbows.
Copy !req
124. You're gonna be tempted to say,
Copy !req
125. "Screw it.
Can't we just go back to HQ
Copy !req
126. "and do this
the old-fashioned way?
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127. "Pull out some fingernails,
toss someone in an acid pit,
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128. fire up the old
penis flattener?"
Copy !req
129. And sure, sure,
that sounds nice.
Copy !req
130. But it also sounds easy.
Copy !req
131. We're all here
because we believe
Copy !req
132. that there's a better way
to make humans miserable.
Copy !req
133. And I... I believe in you.
Copy !req
134. So, "torture" on three.
Copy !req
135. Ready?
One, two, three...
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136. Torture!
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137. - And biting!
- Nope! No.
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138. - Hey, lady?
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139. Can you come back?
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140. J... oey?
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141. Janine?
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142. J...
Jaja?
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143. Why don't I ever
listen to people
Copy !req
144. when they talk about themselves?
Copy !req
145. No, it's annoying,
and I'm right not to.
Copy !req
146. Okay, Chidi, where are you?
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147. Or what are you?
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148. A type of soup, maybe?
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149. Hi there.
I'm Eleanor.
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150. - Nice to meet you, Eleanor.
I'm Nina.
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151. This is my soul mate, Bart.
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152. - Love it.
Love people's names
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153. and love learning
all about them.
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154. Where are you all from?
- Well, oddly enough,
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155. I was born in Mozambique—
- Cool. Listen,
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156. do you guys know if there's,
like, a neighborhood phone book
Copy !req
157. with everybody's name
listed in it?
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158. - Oh, I don't think so, 'cause,
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159. I mean, there's no phones here.
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160. - There are no phones here?
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161. Of course.
Duh!
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162. There's no use for 'em.
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163. I always prefer talking
to people anyway.
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164. People... are like nature's apps.
Copy !req
165. - Huh.
Anyway, we're on our way
Copy !req
166. to get some pizza.
Would you like to join us?
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167. Maybe we could get to know
each other a little bit,
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168. chat.
- Uh, I'm good.
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169. I'm gonna explore a little bit.
Copy !req
170. But it was so nice to meet you
Nina,
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171. and B—
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172. bye-bye.
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173. Oh, sorry, I didn't see you.
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174. Chidi?
Are you Chidi?
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175. - Eleanor?
What are you up to?
Copy !req
176. - Oh, hey there, Michael.
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177. Just getting to know
everyone in the neighborhood.
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178. - Oh!
- Who was
Copy !req
179. that mysterious gentleman
wearing the nightgown?
Copy !req
180. - Oh, that's Jianyu,
a Taiwanese monk
Copy !req
181. who never speaks.
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182. Might be a little hard
to get to know him.
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183. Eleanor...
you and I both know
Copy !req
184. that you're not like
everyone else
Copy !req
185. in this neighborhood.
Copy !req
186. Everyone here led
a remarkable life.
Copy !req
187. But you... the work you did
as an environmental activist
Copy !req
188. was just extraordinary!
Copy !req
189. - Ah...
Well,
Copy !req
190. it's the environment.
I mean,
Copy !req
191. I loved, um...
Copy !req
192. mushrooms.
Copy !req
193. I can honestly say that.
- Well, it paid off,
Copy !req
194. because you were
the number one point-getter
Copy !req
195. in this entire neighborhood.
Copy !req
196. And as such,
I was just hoping that you could
Copy !req
197. say a few words
at tonight's welcome party.
Copy !req
198. You know, just
to introduce yourself.
Copy !req
199. - How can I say no?
Copy !req
200. Can I say no?
It doesn't feel like
Copy !req
201. I can say no.
But if I can:
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202. Michael, I'm saying no.
- Okay,
Copy !req
203. so, you'll speak for...
maybe an hour or so?
Copy !req
204. Hey, you know what?
I...
Copy !req
205. got you a little something
to wear here.
Copy !req
206. Now, all the top point-getters
wear these
Copy !req
207. on the first night.
Copy !req
208. Oh, you gotta
be forking kidding me.
Copy !req
209. - So, long story short,
my heart is in the Pope,
Copy !req
210. my liver's in the Dalai Lama,
and my teeth were strung
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211. into a necklace for a child king
in French Polynesia.
Copy !req
212. But it got me
into the Good Place,
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213. so... can't complain.
- Wow.
Copy !req
214. Can I... tell you something,
Copy !req
215. just soul-mate to soul-mate?
- Hold that thought.
Copy !req
216. I'm gonna head to the gym.
Copy !req
217. Oh, you're serious.
Again? Right now?
Copy !req
218. - Yeah.
I'll catch you later!
Copy !req
219. - Hey there, best person!
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220. You must be Eleanor.
I'm Jessica, the host.
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221. - Hi.
- Michael told us all about
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222. your speech.
I can't wait to hear
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223. what you have to say.
- Me neither, Jessica.
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224. Me. Neither.
Copy !req
225. - Aw, don't be nervous.
Here.
Copy !req
226. Liquid courage.
- Actually, um... you know what?
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227. I think I need to
keep a clear head.
Copy !req
228. Can you imagine getting drunk
before giving a big speech?
Copy !req
229. Getting kicked out
of your niece's christening,
Copy !req
230. and then, only later,
once you've sobered up,
Copy !req
231. realize you don't
even have a niece.
Copy !req
232. It's like, who was that kid?
Copy !req
233. - So, Eleanor,
Copy !req
234. you were
an environmental lawyer.
Copy !req
235. That's fascinating.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
236. - I know.
Just don't ask me
Copy !req
237. any questions about it.
I am so sick
Copy !req
238. of describing exactly
what it means.
Copy !req
239. - Hey, I'm headed to the bar.
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240. Can I grab you something?
How about a margarita?
Copy !req
241. - No, I'm good.
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242. - Actually, I'm the best—
Copy !req
243. according to the sash.
Copy !req
244. - She's still not drinking?
Copy !req
245. - Nope.
Something's off.
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246. - Should we...
Copy !req
247. - No.
Copy !req
248. Keep it together.
Copy !req
249. Ah, screw it.
Copy !req
250. Couple of quick shots...
Copy !req
251. And then I'm coming for you,
shrimpies.
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252. - Please don't make this harder
than it already is, Chidi.
Copy !req
253. - These are for you.
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254. Drink up.
Copy !req
255. Hi.
Is your name Chidi?
Copy !req
256. - Yes?
- Ah! I knew you weren't a soup.
Copy !req
257. - What?
- Listen to me very carefully.
Copy !req
258. My name is Eleanor Shellstrop.
Copy !req
259. - Chidi?
Come on in.
Copy !req
260. - So there really is
an afterlife.
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261. I can't wait to have breakfast
with Kant,
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262. and lunch with Michele Foucault,
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263. and then have dinner
with Kant again,
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264. so we can talk about
what came up at breakfast.
Copy !req
265. - I'm sorry, Chidi—
all the great philosophers
Copy !req
266. in history...
Copy !req
267. ended up in the Bad Place.
Copy !req
268. - All of my heroes are...
Copy !req
269. - Being tortured.
Yes, I'm afraid so.
Copy !req
270. Actually, it is kind of clever
how they punish philosophers.
Copy !req
271. Every day, they make them
go to school...
Copy !req
272. naked, and then they take a test
Copy !req
273. in a class
they've never been to.
Copy !req
274. And then
they smash them with hammers.
Copy !req
275. And that part is not so clever.
Copy !req
276. But the point is:
Copy !req
277. Chidi, you were way better
than all of them.
Copy !req
278. You're safe.
Copy !req
279. - No way.
Soul mates are real?
Copy !req
280. - They sure are.
Although,
Copy !req
281. your soul-mate situation
is a little unusual.
Copy !req
282. - Oh, no.
I don't have one, do I?
Copy !req
283. That's fine.
I mean, who needs a soul mate,
Copy !req
284. anyway?
My soul mate will be...
Copy !req
285. books!
- No, no,
Copy !req
286. it's not that you
don't have a soul mate,
Copy !req
287. it's that you have
multiple soul mates.
Copy !req
288. Here.
Now,
Copy !req
289. normally, our omniscient system
Copy !req
290. perfectly analyzes
each person's profile,
Copy !req
291. and then matches him or her
with another person.
Copy !req
292. But in your case,
the system matched you
Copy !req
293. with two other people.
Copy !req
294. It's a rare occurrence, like...
Copy !req
295. like a double rainbow,
Copy !req
296. or someone
on the Internet saying,
Copy !req
297. "You know what?
Copy !req
298. You've convinced me
I was wrong."
Copy !req
299. - So, how do you choose
who I should be with?
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300. - Oh, I don't choose.
You do, Chidi.
Copy !req
301. - I...
What?
Copy !req
302. - This is Angélique,
Pedro, and Pevita.
Copy !req
303. According to the system,
either Pedro or Chidi
Copy !req
304. could be matched perfectly
with either Angélique or Pevita.
Copy !req
305. So, figure it out.
Should be fun.
Copy !req
306. - Cool... beans.
One second, guys.
Copy !req
307. Um, so, so, so...
- Yeah?
Copy !req
308. - Yeah, so... making decisions
isn't necessarily
Copy !req
309. my strong suit.
- I know that, buddy.
Copy !req
310. You—you once had a panic attack
at a make-your-own-sundae bar.
Copy !req
311. - There were too many toppings.
Copy !req
312. And very early in the process
Copy !req
313. you had to commit to
a chocolate palate
Copy !req
314. or a fruit palate,
and if you couldn't decide,
Copy !req
315. you wound up with
kiwi-Junior-Mint-raisin,
Copy !req
316. and it just ruins
everyone's night.
Copy !req
317. - Chidi, I am so sorry.
Copy !req
318. I literally cannot choose
for you.
Copy !req
319. This has to be your decision.
Copy !req
320. Buddy, you gotta trust me.
Copy !req
321. I would never place you...
in a painful situation.
Copy !req
322. A- Right.
Um...
Copy !req
323. - You ready, Chidi?
Copy !req
324. - Here you go, Chidi.
Copy !req
325. One slice of Hawaiian,
Copy !req
326. straight out the oven for you.
Copy !req
327. I'm Denise.
Welcome to my pizza place.
Copy !req
328. - Thanks, Denise.
- And here's one for you.
Copy !req
329. Have a nice day.
Copy !req
330. - It's interesting that
Copy !req
331. Hawaiian pizza
is so popular here.
Copy !req
332. - Yeah, I guess a lot
of the residents here love it.
Copy !req
333. Kind of makes you wonder
Copy !req
334. what type of pizza they have
in the Bad Place, huh?
Copy !req
335. - So, I can't believe
you studied in Brisbane.
Copy !req
336. We must have just missed
each other.
Copy !req
337. What was your thesis on?
- Oh, gosh.
Copy !req
338. It was so boring.
It was called,
Copy !req
339. "Cultural Relativism
and Moral Absolutism:
Copy !req
340. "An Exploration of Values
As Seen Through
Copy !req
341. "The Works of Alain LeRoy...
Copy !req
342. Locke and Immanuel Kant"!
Copy !req
343. - Shut up.
You read it?
Copy !req
344. - No, but that pairing
is the most obvious pairing
Copy !req
345. to employ in a paper
with that title,
Copy !req
346. and I wanna read it so bad!
Copy !req
347. - What about Morocco?
Copy !req
348. You ever travel there?
Copy !req
349. No.
Copy !req
350. - What about anywhere else?
You been anywhere else?
Copy !req
351. - No.
Copy !req
352. - So, first impressions?
Anyone?
Copy !req
353. - I kind of want to hear
what Chidi thinks.
Copy !req
354. - Well.
Um...
Copy !req
355. I mean, you're both brilliant,
Copy !req
356. accomplished women—
and Pedro, you're great too.
Copy !req
357. Just amazing people.
Copy !req
358. I'm surrounded.
Ahh!
Copy !req
359. But, if I had to say...
Copy !req
360. who I sort of immediately
bonded to,
Copy !req
361. on a gut level,
I think I would say
Copy !req
362. that I kind of feel
like my soul mate is...
Copy !req
363. Angél—
- Wait, wait!
Copy !req
364. There was a mistake
in the calculations.
Copy !req
365. We had a four-hour time gap
Copy !req
366. in your profiles
on May 10, 2003.
Copy !req
367. I corrected that day's events
for all of you,
Copy !req
368. and ran the numbers again,
and...
Copy !req
369. the final result proves
definitively
Copy !req
370. that Pedro
is Angélique's soul mate,
Copy !req
371. and Chidi,
your soul mate is Pevita.
Copy !req
372. That was close.
Copy !req
373. - Hey, you guys hadn't made
a decision yet, had you?
Copy !req
374. - No!
We did not.
Copy !req
375. No one said anything.
I didn't hear anything,
Copy !req
376. and I certainly didn't
say anything.
Copy !req
377. That's for darn sure.
Copy !req
378. - Okay.
Copy !req
379. All right.
See you later.
Copy !req
380. - This is fun.
Copy !req
381. It's a fun party.
There's no question about it,
Copy !req
382. this is a fun situation.
Copy !req
383. Hey, you guys are here.
The fun continues—
Copy !req
384. nay, increases!
Copy !req
385. - You two look nice.
Copy !req
386. - Thanks!
And you look...
Copy !req
387. fine.
Copy !req
388. Would I say you look better
than anyone else here?
Copy !req
389. No, I wouldn't say that.
Do you look bad?
Copy !req
390. No.
But good?
Copy !req
391. Would I go as far
Copy !req
392. as to say that you look good?
Copy !req
393. Doubtful.
Hey, wine.
Copy !req
394. Mmm.
Do I feel like red or white?
Copy !req
395. - Oh, deep down
in your heart of hearts,
Copy !req
396. you probably already know
which one you want.
Copy !req
397. - Why isn't anyone talking?
Copy !req
398. - Janet, could you show me
to the bar, please?
Copy !req
399. - Mm-hmm!
Copy !req
400. - Oh, hey!
Chidi, right?
Copy !req
401. Denise.
We met earlier, remember?
Copy !req
402. - Oh, yeah, hi.
Are you limping?
Copy !req
403. - Yeah, I am.
Crazy story.
Copy !req
404. See, I was a trapeze artist
in an illegal circus
Copy !req
405. in Bangladesh—
- Angélique.
Copy !req
406. - Hey.
How are you doing?
Copy !req
407. - Oh, well, uh...
Copy !req
408. You know.
My stomach's in knots
Copy !req
409. and I'm stress-grinding
my teeth,
Copy !req
410. and it feels like my soul
is being suffocated.
Copy !req
411. You know, just
your standard paradise stuff.
Copy !req
412. How about you?
Copy !req
413. - It's been a little
uncomfortable.
Copy !req
414. I think Pedro maybe
heard you say...
Copy !req
415. that thing you were gonna say.
- Oh, no.
Copy !req
416. I'm so sorry.
I...
Copy !req
417. But I have to ask.
Do you feel the way I feel?
Copy !req
418. - We can't talk about this.
- Well, I know,
Copy !req
419. but if the numbers
were that close,
Copy !req
420. Angélique,
I think I'm supposed to—
Copy !req
421. - Stop!
Please don't make this harder
Copy !req
422. than it already is, Chidi.
Copy !req
423. - These are for you.
Copy !req
424. Hi.
Is your name Chidi?
Copy !req
425. - Yes?
- Ah!
Copy !req
426. I knew you weren't a soup.
Copy !req
427. - What?
- Listen to me very carefully.
Copy !req
428. My name is Eleanor Shellstrop.
Copy !req
429. We need to talk.
- About what?
Copy !req
430. - Just shut your mouth,
smile at me, and walk over here.
Copy !req
431. - Okay, you're definitely
my least favorite person...
Copy !req
432. I've met so far.
Copy !req
433. Okay, I'm sorry,
this is really not a good time.
Copy !req
434. I'm right in the middle
of something.
Copy !req
435. - Dude, I'm guessing we have
Copy !req
436. about 30 seconds to talk
Copy !req
437. before someone notices.
Copy !req
438. When I got here,
some robot lady appeared
Copy !req
439. out of thin air
and gave me this.
Copy !req
440. - You mean Janet.
- Oh, that's it! Janet.
Copy !req
441. - Hi there.
- Not now, Janet.
Copy !req
442. Buzz off.
- Okay.
Copy !req
443. - Now,
Copy !req
444. I have no memory
of writing this,
Copy !req
445. but it is my handwriting.
Copy !req
446. And that's your name, right?
Copy !req
447. So, for some reason,
at some point,
Copy !req
448. I put this note into...
Copy !req
449. that whatever-lady's
robot mouth.
Copy !req
450. - You already forgot her name?
- No, I didn't.
Copy !req
451. Her name is...
Copy !req
452. Janet.
- Hi there.
Copy !req
453. - Fork off!
- Okay.
Copy !req
454. - From the second I got here,
Copy !req
455. these nerds have been acting
real weird,
Copy !req
456. trying to get me drunk.
Copy !req
457. My soul mate ditches me
every time I try
Copy !req
458. to talk to him,
and this Zen-master guy
Copy !req
459. gave me this magic bracelet
thing,
Copy !req
460. and then he just ran away.
Copy !req
461. Something very strange
is going on here,
Copy !req
462. and the only person
I trust is me,
Copy !req
463. and me told me to find you.
So... what's the deal?
Copy !req
464. What's happening?
What do you got?
Copy !req
465. - Uh...
Copy !req
466. I can't...
Copy !req
467. Look, I'm—I'm sorry,
but none of this
Copy !req
468. means anything to me,
Copy !req
469. and I've got my own problems
to deal with.
Copy !req
470. I'm sorry, I can't help you.
Copy !req
471. - Attention, everyone!
Copy !req
472. Speech time!
Copy !req
473. - I know you're probably not
a magic wizard
Copy !req
474. trapped in an amulet,
but if you are,
Copy !req
475. - Tahani.
Come on in.
Copy !req
476. You're in the good place,
Tahani.
Copy !req
477. - Ooh, what a surprise!
Copy !req
478. But yes, I accept.
Copy !req
479. - This is your soul mate, Tomás.
Copy !req
480. Now, Tomás was a doctor
Copy !req
481. with the International
Rescue Alliance,
Copy !req
482. and you raised money
that ultimately funded
Copy !req
483. his medical missions.
It's just so perfect!
Copy !req
484. - Aww.
- It's lovely to meet you,
Copy !req
485. Tahani.
- Charmed, I'm...
Copy !req
486. short.
Copy !req
487. I'm sorry, did I just
say "short"?
Copy !req
488. I-I meant to say
"charmed, I'm sure,"
Copy !req
489. of course, because I am charmed
to meet you,
Copy !req
490. it's just an unfortunate
Freudian short.
Copy !req
491. Shall we?
Copy !req
492. So, where did you attend
medical short?
Copy !req
493. - So, this is the living room...
Copy !req
494. as well as the kitchen
and the bedroom.
Copy !req
495. - It's so... cozy.
Copy !req
496. I feel like the walls
are just hugging me.
Copy !req
497. - Michael, I don't mean
Copy !req
498. to be rude,
but this is simply absurd.
Copy !req
499. - Yes, thank you.
Copy !req
500. I didn't want to say anything,
but...
Copy !req
501. - There's only two of us,
Copy !req
502. and we don't need
all this space.
Copy !req
503. - "All this space"?
- Oh, of course.
Copy !req
504. You two humanitarians don't want
anything so extravagant.
Copy !req
505. I'll just get rid of
the second floor.
Copy !req
506. Okay, I'll let you two
have some alone time.
Copy !req
507. I will see you at the party.
Copy !req
508. - Well...
certainly is quite quaint.
Copy !req
509. So, it's just—
Copy !req
510. fun.
I daresay even quite charm—
Copy !req
511. ah, no.
Copy !req
512. - What's the matter?
- Sorry,
Copy !req
513. it's just a... self-portrait
Copy !req
514. of my—my sister.
Wonderful.
Copy !req
515. - Your sister is
Kamilah Al-Jamil?
Copy !req
516. I used to play her music
for my patients.
Copy !req
517. At times, it felt like
Kamilah's songs
Copy !req
518. were curing the malaria for us.
Copy !req
519. Great.
Copy !req
520. Well, I best be getting changed
for tonight.
Copy !req
521. - Mm.
- Can hardly wear a day dress
Copy !req
522. to an evening event.
- Sounds good.
Copy !req
523. I'm ready whenever you are.
Copy !req
524. - Is that... what you're wearing?
- Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
525. My years treating
remote villagers
Copy !req
526. taught me to favor comfort
over style.
Copy !req
527. But you should wear
whatever you prefer.
Copy !req
528. - Well, I mean...
Copy !req
529. as we are soul mates, perhaps...
Copy !req
530. I-I should also...
dress down.
Copy !req
531. - You all right, my dear?
Copy !req
532. - Yes,
just not used to
Copy !req
533. dressing like a plumber-ess.
Copy !req
534. Is that what you call
a female plumber,
Copy !req
535. or is it a toilet sweep?
Copy !req
536. Or clog wench?
Copy !req
537. In any case,
that's how I'm dressed.
Copy !req
538. - My darling, you are
in the Good Place.
Copy !req
539. Relax.
Feel the breeze on your feet.
Copy !req
540. That's why Crocs have
holes in them.
Copy !req
541. I'll get us a drink.
Copy !req
542. Lower that beautiful face
for me, won't you?
Copy !req
543. Lower-lower-lower-lower-lower.
- Okay.
Copy !req
544. - Muah!
Copy !req
545. - Tahani?
You all right?
Copy !req
546. - Michael, hello!
Copy !req
547. Yes, I'm having a splendid time.
Copy !req
548. Although, if I'm being honest,
Copy !req
549. a few aspects of my day
have been... sub-optimal.
Copy !req
550. - Really?
Like what?
Copy !req
551. - Well,
my house is a bit small,
Copy !req
552. which is fine, it's just not
what I'm used to,
Copy !req
553. and Tomás is lovely,
but we haven't really...
Copy !req
554. "clicked" yet,
Copy !req
555. to use a mundane colloquialism—
Copy !req
556. which I suppose I should do,
now that I'm wearing...
Copy !req
557. Cargo pants.
Copy !req
558. - Tahani, it's very common
to experience adjustment pains.
Copy !req
559. But the system matched
you and Tomás,
Copy !req
560. and the system is never wrong.
Copy !req
561. But guess what?
This is the Good Place.
Copy !req
562. If you want your house
to be larger, then just ask.
Copy !req
563. Do you want something this big?
Copy !req
564. Or maybe bigger,
like the Taj Mahal.
Copy !req
565. I know, I know.
How about a moon?
Copy !req
566. Would you like to live
on your own private moon?
Copy !req
567. - No, no, no.
My house is wonderful.
Copy !req
568. And really, it's so silly
to want a bigger house
Copy !req
569. of all things,
here in paradise.
Copy !req
570. So no, no changes needed.
Copy !req
571. - Okay, all right.
But if you change your mind,
Copy !req
572. just ask.
Because all the other residents
Copy !req
573. are very happy,
so it'll give me plenty of time
Copy !req
574. to deal with
whatever requests you make.
Copy !req
575. No demand is too...
Copy !req
576. what's the word?
Oh, "frivolous."
Copy !req
577. Okay?
Copy !req
578. Wow.
That is rough.
Copy !req
579. - Please don't make this harder
than it already is, Chidi.
Copy !req
580. - These are for you.
Drink up.
Copy !req
581. - Oh—no, no, I...
Copy !req
582. - Hey!
Copy !req
583. Twinsies!
Copy !req
584. - I'm sorry?
- Look!
Copy !req
585. Cargo-pants buddies!
Copy !req
586. I bet we have a lot in common.
Copy !req
587. I was a garbage man in Winnipeg.
How about you?
Copy !req
588. - Okay...
Copy !req
589. - Crocs also?
Copy !req
590. - Speech time!
Copy !req
591. - I know you're probably not
a magic wizard
Copy !req
592. trapped in an amulet,
but if you are,
Copy !req
593. please get me out
of this speech.
Copy !req
594. - I've asked our top
point-getter, here,
Copy !req
595. to say a few words.
Copy !req
596. So, take it away, Eleanor!
Copy !req
597. - The dictionary defines "best"
Copy !req
598. as being—
- Oh, God, boring!
Copy !req
599. I'd like to say a few words
if nobody minds.
Copy !req
600. Thank you, wizard.
Copy !req
601. - I am Tahani.
Tahani am me.
Copy !req
602. And even though I wasn't
the "number one point-getter,"
Copy !req
603. I just wanted to welcome you all
to the neighborhood.
Copy !req
604. You all look so beautiful
tonight,
Copy !req
605. with your regular-sized pockets
and...
Copy !req
606. regular-sized soul mates.
Copy !req
607. Oh, no offense, darling,
wherever you are.
Copy !req
608. Probably somewhere down there.
Copy !req
609. - Why don't you try
to ease her off the stage
Copy !req
610. and take over yourself?
- The point is,
Copy !req
611. we're all good people, right?
Copy !req
612. We all did the right thing
whenever we could.
Copy !req
613. And that's why it's so nice
to be here among you,
Copy !req
614. in this massive house
that I want.
Copy !req
615. I want this house.
Give it.
Copy !req
616. No, I'm just kidding.
Copy !req
617. But really, give me the house.
Copy !req
618. - Hey there, hot stuff.
Copy !req
619. Can I get you a cup of coffee?
Copy !req
620. - Get your hands off me!
Copy !req
621. Oh, you think you're better
than I am,
Copy !req
622. don't you, just 'cause
you're wearing that.
Copy !req
623. Look at that terrible placement
and angle.
Copy !req
624. Is this your first time
ever wearing a sash?
Copy !req
625. - Yeah, it is,
but I think if we all just—
Copy !req
626. - Well—give it to me then!
Copy !req
627. - Jianyu?
Come on in.
Copy !req
628. Before we start,
I know you were a Buddhist monk
Copy !req
629. who kept a vow of silence.
Copy !req
630. Would you prefer
Copy !req
631. to remain silent here
as well?
Copy !req
632. Every resident here
in the Good Place
Copy !req
633. has a soul mate.
Copy !req
634. Now, some of the pairings
are platonic,
Copy !req
635. some are romantic,
but what you have
Copy !req
636. with your soul mate is unique.
Copy !req
637. You have a spiritual connection
Copy !req
638. that transcends
the physical realm.
Copy !req
639. This person's gonna be
your best bud.
Copy !req
640. Jianyu, let me introduce you
to your soul mate, Luang.
Copy !req
641. He is also a Buddhist monk,
Copy !req
642. from the Lumbini zone of Nepal.
Copy !req
643. You and Luang share
an identical soul—
Copy !req
644. like binary stars,
orbiting one another
Copy !req
645. in a perfect,
reflective harmony.
Copy !req
646. You won't ever have
a single moment of loneliness,
Copy !req
647. because you'll always be
right next to each other—
Copy !req
648. for eternity.
Copy !req
649. Okay, I'm gonna let
you two get acquainted.
Copy !req
650. I'm sure you have a lot
to not talk about.
Copy !req
651. Because...
Copy !req
652. well, you get it, you get it.
Copy !req
653. - Oh—sorry, I didn't see you.
Copy !req
654. Chidi?
Are you Chidi?
Copy !req
655. - Eleanor? What are you up to?
- Oh, hey there, Michael.
Copy !req
656. Just getting to know everyone
in the neighborhood.
Copy !req
657. - Ah.
- Who was that mysterious...
Copy !req
658. - Hello, you beautiful spirits.
Copy !req
659. Can I offer you two
something to drink?
Copy !req
660. Janet!
- Hi there.
Copy !req
661. - This is Janet.
Now, she can get you
Copy !req
662. literally anything you want.
All you have to do is ask.
Copy !req
663. Of course, you two won't
ever want anything,
Copy !req
664. because
you're perfectly content.
Copy !req
665. Oh, I know.
How about something special?
Copy !req
666. Janet, two yak's milks, please.
Copy !req
667. Enjoy.
Copy !req
668. - Speech time!
Copy !req
669. - If we all just...
- Well—give it to me!
Copy !req
670. - I got her off the stage.
Copy !req
671. - Tahani?
Copy !req
672. Are you all right?
- Yes, fine.
Copy !req
673. Never better.
Top of my game, actually.
Copy !req
674. You'll have to excuse me,
'cause I've got to go, so...
Copy !req
675. Oh, look!
I've got some shrimp.
Copy !req
676. In one of my many, many
cargo-pants pockets.
Copy !req
677. - Okay, here we go.
Copy !req
678. How's it going, boss-man?
- Enough chit-chat.
Copy !req
679. Is everything in place
for version two?
Copy !req
680. - Yup,
I've thought of everything.
Copy !req
681. I won't let you down.
Copy !req
682. I was just hoping that
you could say a few words
Copy !req
683. at tonight's welcome party.
Copy !req
684. You know, just to
introduce yourself.
Copy !req
685. - How can I say no?
Copy !req
686. - So... cozy.
Copy !req
687. I feel like the walls are
just hugging me.
Copy !req
688. How about something special?
Janet.
Copy !req
689. Two yak's milks, please.
Copy !req
690. - Why isn't anyone talking?
Copy !req
691. - Janet, could you show me
to the bar, please?
Copy !req
692. - Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
693. - Michael, may I please
speak with you privately?
Copy !req
694. - Sure, sure.
Copy !req
695. - It just feels like
I used to be Real Eleanor,
Copy !req
696. and now I'm Denise.
- Denise is a good part,
Copy !req
697. with a—a great backstory.
Copy !req
698. You run the best pizza place
in the neighborhood.
Copy !req
699. You have a cat, and that's cool.
Copy !req
700. - I took this job
because it seemed fun
Copy !req
701. and different,
and in the original version,
Copy !req
702. I got to break Chidi's heart,
like, 20 times,
Copy !req
703. and it was great.
I mean, he was miserable.
Copy !req
704. And now,
Angélique gets to torture him?
Copy !req
705. Angélique is a hack.
Copy !req
706. I can act circles around her!
Copy !req
707. But I have nothing to do!
Copy !req
708. I am a Ferrari, okay?
Copy !req
709. And you don't keep a Ferrari
in the garage.
Copy !req
710. - I hear your concern.
Copy !req
711. I do.
And I promise you,
Copy !req
712. there is a great arc coming
for Denise the pizza lady
Copy !req
713. in about 80 years or so.
Copy !req
714. - Chidi is going to
accidentally kill your cat.
Copy !req
715. It's gonna give you
a great chance to shine.
Copy !req
716. - Can I just have something
that makes me stand out?
Copy !req
717. A mysterious past, or... a limp!
Copy !req
718. I want a limp.
- This is supposed to
Copy !req
719. be the Good Place.
Why would...
Copy !req
720. Okay, I—no, I hear you.
Copy !req
721. I'll tell you what.
Copy !req
722. Go nuts, all right?
Limp your heart out.
Copy !req
723. - Oh, hey!
Chidi, right?
Copy !req
724. - Hi.
Are you limping?
Copy !req
725. - How's it going?
Copy !req
726. We're having some trouble
with Eleanor.
Copy !req
727. She's not engaging
in conversation,
Copy !req
728. she's not drinking.
- Eleanor's not drinking?
Copy !req
729. She brought a flask in the car
during her driver's test!
Copy !req
730. Okay, we need to
keep things moving here.
Copy !req
731. I'm about to make her talk
for an hour.
Copy !req
732. She'll definitely end up
insulting somebody.
Copy !req
733. Speech time!
Copy !req
734. - We're all good people, right?
Copy !req
735. We all did the right thing
whenever we could.
Copy !req
736. - If we all just...
- Well—give it to me!
Copy !req
737. - Tahani?
Are you all right?
Copy !req
738. - Yes, fine.
Never better.
Copy !req
739. You'll have to excuse me,
'cause I've got to go.
Copy !req
740. - What the fork, man?
- I know that book.
Copy !req
741. - Is that some kind of
nerd pick-up line?
Copy !req
742. Because it's only
kind of working.
Copy !req
743. - No—the note
you showed me before.
Copy !req
744. All right, this is from
a book called
Copy !req
745. "What We Owe to Each Other."
I used to teach it.
Copy !req
746. I was a professor of ethics
and moral philosophy.
Copy !req
747. - All right, brag much?
- No, I'm trying to help you.
Copy !req
748. - Sorry. Okay.
- I have never seen you before
Copy !req
749. in my life, but I think...
Copy !req
750. somehow,
that we know each other.
Copy !req
751. - That definitely sounded
like a pick-up line.
Copy !req
752. - And I'm not not interested,
Copy !req
753. but we need to figure
this out first.
Copy !req
754. - It's not that bad, right?
Copy !req
755. I mean, we got a drunken speech.
Copy !req
756. That's good.
Copy !req
757. - No.
It isn't.
Copy !req
758. Tahani gave the drunken speech
instead of Eleanor.
Copy !req
759. We can't build a chaos sequence
out of Tahani's speech,
Copy !req
760. because she thinks
she belongs here...
Copy !req
761. ding-dong.
Copy !req
762. Okay, we can still salvage this.
Copy !req
763. Where's Eleanor?
- She's gone.
Copy !req
764. I can't find her anywhere.
- Maybe she left with Chidi?
Copy !req
765. He's gone too.
- What?
Copy !req
766. - Or maybe she left with Jason.
Copy !req
767. - You lost Jason?
How is that even possible?
Copy !req
768. You're only job is
to stand next to that idiot.
Copy !req
769. - I got distracted by the fire!
Copy !req
770. I love fire.
Copy !req
771. You know, my main job
is to burn people with fire.
Copy !req
772. - What's up, guys?
- What are you doing here?
Copy !req
773. Why aren't you with Eleanor?
- Oh, I told her
Copy !req
774. I was going to
the gym again.
Copy !req
775. - Why would you say that
in the middle of a party?
Copy !req
776. - You told me too.
- No, I didn't.
Copy !req
777. - You said that if
Eleanor tries to confess
Copy !req
778. that she doesn't belong here,
Copy !req
779. find a reason to avoid her,
Copy !req
780. like saying,
"I'm going to the gym,"
Copy !req
781. so that's what I've been saying.
Copy !req
782. - That was a suggestion
Copy !req
783. of the type of thing
you could say!
Copy !req
784. Don't...
Copy !req
785. How many times have you
specifically told her
Copy !req
786. you were going to the gym?
Copy !req
787. - Five.
Copy !req
788. No, nine.
- You dimwit!
Copy !req
789. - Hey, man!
I was perfectly happy
Copy !req
790. in my old job
in the twisting department.
Copy !req
791. People came in,
and I twist them
Copy !req
792. until they snapped in half,
and I move on to the next one.
Copy !req
793. But this job... is weird!
Copy !req
794. It's all talk, no twisting.
Copy !req
795. So if you don't like
the way I do it,
Copy !req
796. get somebody else.
I'm going to the gym!
Copy !req
797. - Fine.
Yeah, you do that.
Copy !req
798. You go to the gym.
Copy !req
799. Okay, we can still
pull this off,
Copy !req
800. we just need to find
the four humans.
Copy !req
801. Okay?
Okay.
Copy !req
802. Right now.
Copy !req
803. Everyone in this room,
find those four humans!
Copy !req
804. - Are you gonna talk,
or just walk around
Copy !req
805. like a nerd trying to get
a personal best on his Fitbit?
Copy !req
806. - I'm sorry,
I'm trying to process
Copy !req
807. a tremendous amount
of insane information.
Copy !req
808. I mean,
you're not supposed to be here,
Copy !req
809. but you and I clearly met here,
somehow,
Copy !req
810. before now.
I mean—
Copy !req
811. does that mean that
I'm not supposed to be here?
Copy !req
812. - I don't know, dude.
Copy !req
813. Were you a good person on earth?
Copy !req
814. - I—I think so.
I spent my life in pursuit
Copy !req
815. of fundamental truths
about the uni—
Copy !req
816. Oh, no!
Copy !req
817. I used almond milk in my coffee,
even though I knew about
Copy !req
818. the negative
environmental impact.
Copy !req
819. - What?
- Eleanor, what do we do?
Copy !req
820. - I don't know, dude!
Copy !req
821. But we better
figure it out soon,
Copy !req
822. - Uh, Janet?
Copy !req
823. - Hi there, Jianyu.
- Hi, Janet!
Copy !req
824. Um, can I tell you something?
Copy !req
825. - Sure.
- I'm not Jianyu.
Copy !req
826. And I'm not a silent monk.
Copy !req
827. My real name is Jason.
I don't know what's going on.
Copy !req
828. I got here
and Michael said I'm a monk,
Copy !req
829. and he told me I was gonna have
a new best friend,
Copy !req
830. and that we were gonna live
in a yogurt.
Copy !req
831. - A yurt.
- Oh, yeah, "yurt" for short.
Copy !req
832. I was psyched to meet
my new best friend,
Copy !req
833. but he turned out to be
this weird silent guy
Copy !req
834. that won't leave me alone.
Copy !req
835. I don't wanna go back
to my yogurt.
Copy !req
836. Can I go to your house?
- I don't have a house, Jason.
Copy !req
837. I live in a boundless void.
Copy !req
838. - Can I go there?
- No.
Copy !req
839. It's a boundless void.
Copy !req
840. - Okay.
- So, what you're saying is,
Copy !req
841. there are certain aspects
of your existence
Copy !req
842. here in the Good Place
that are confusing for you,
Copy !req
843. and you're searching for
someplace to go
Copy !req
844. where you feel less lonely.
Copy !req
845. I know somewhere you could go.
Copy !req
846. Why did you do that?
- Because you were nice to me.
Copy !req
847. You're my friend.
- Okay!
Copy !req
848. - Okay!
Copy !req
849. - Okay, so, if we got
all the way
Copy !req
850. to Scanlon, we must have
been studying very intensely
Copy !req
851. for a very long time.
Or, you grabbed a random book
Copy !req
852. of mine and just
tore a page out.
Copy !req
853. - I'm gonna be honest,
that sounds more like me.
Copy !req
854. - Ah!
Eleanor and Chidi.
Copy !req
855. What a pleasant surprise.
Copy !req
856. I'm so happy you two have met.
Copy !req
857. I'm just going door-to-door,
apologizing
Copy !req
858. for the commotion
earlier tonight.
Copy !req
859. - Ah.
- The first night
Copy !req
860. in the afterlife can be
a little overwhelming.
Copy !req
861. - Don't worry about us, Michael.
We are doing just fine.
Copy !req
862. - Oh, good, good.
Glad to hear that.
Copy !req
863. Well, it's getting late.
Copy !req
864. Chidi, allow me to escort you
back to your house.
Copy !req
865. - Um...
- Uh, hello, all.
Copy !req
866. Sorry for the late hour,
Eleanor.
Copy !req
867. I wanted to stop by
Copy !req
868. and give you back your sash.
Copy !req
869. - That's okay.
You can just keep it.
Copy !req
870. - No!
I don't deserve it.
Copy !req
871. I made a complete fool
of myself tonight.
Copy !req
872. I interrupted your big speech,
badly stained my cargo pants,
Copy !req
873. which, I have to admit,
are quite comfortable.
Copy !req
874. Oh, God, what's happened to me?
Copy !req
875. I'm praising
off-the-rack separates!
Copy !req
876. - Tahani, please.
It's late.
Copy !req
877. I think what we should do—
- No.
Copy !req
878. Look, ever since I got here
Copy !req
879. it feels like
something's been off.
Copy !req
880. - Tahani.
There you are.
Copy !req
881. I've been worried sick
about you.
Copy !req
882. - That's her soul mate?
Copy !req
883. Is there a second one of him
that stands on his shoulders?
Copy !req
884. - Chidi!
There you are.
Copy !req
885. I've been worried sick
about you.
Copy !req
886. - Okay—all right, everybody.
Copy !req
887. Now we are really imposing
on Eleanor here.
Copy !req
888. Chidi, let's everybody
take off—
Copy !req
889. - Hi, Eleanor.
This person would like
Copy !req
890. to speak with you—privately.
Copy !req
891. About something.
Copy !req
892. - Oh, really?
Copy !req
893. - Yup. Bye!
Copy !req
894. This is the wise monk
Copy !req
895. who gave me the magic amulet.
Copy !req
896. I gotta figure out
what it means.
Copy !req
897. Could be the key
to this entire mystery.
Copy !req
898. - Luang, perfect.
Copy !req
899. Why don't you take Jianyu
back to your yurt,
Copy !req
900. right away.
- Homey, no!
Copy !req
901. I'm not spending another second
with this loser.
Copy !req
902. You said he was gonna
be my best friend,
Copy !req
903. but he is not.
Copy !req
904. My best friend from Jacksonville
Copy !req
905. was named Pillboi,
and he was dope!
Copy !req
906. We would talk together,
get high together,
Copy !req
907. throw old batteries
at drones together.
Copy !req
908. But this guy can't hold
a camel to Pillboi.
Copy !req
909. - Okay, I no longer think
he's a wise monk,
Copy !req
910. and I'm pretty sure this is
just a piece of garbage.
Copy !req
911. - Babe, there you are.
I've been worried—
Copy !req
912. - Let me stop you.
Can I guess?
Copy !req
913. You've been
worried sick about me.
Copy !req
914. - I'm headed to the gym.
Copy !req
915. - Sure, why not?
Copy !req
916. - I'm quite confused.
- Let me explain, gorgeous.
Copy !req
917. I don't know what this place is,
Copy !req
918. but it is certainly not
the Good Place.
Copy !req
919. Michael is forking with us.
Copy !req
920. - Like a prank show.
- Yeah, like a prank show.
Copy !req
921. Except according to this note,
Copy !req
922. it's a prank show
we've all been on before.
Copy !req
923. - What note?
- Apparently, I wrote myself
Copy !req
924. a note, and stuck it
in that Jackie lady's mouth.
Copy !req
925. - Janet.
Her name is Janet.
Copy !req
926. - Oh, right, Janet.
- Hi there.
Copy !req
927. - Hi Janet!
- Hi Jason.
Copy !req
928. Are you kidding me?
Copy !req
929. Eleanor Shellstrop,
Copy !req
930. you sneaky little so-and-so.
Copy !req
931. That was some
very quick thinking.
Copy !req
932. I'm extremely impressed.
Copy !req
933. And to be honest... I'm relieved.
Copy !req
934. At least there's an explanation
Copy !req
935. for why this all
went south so fast.
Copy !req
936. But you're not gonna
be so lucky next time.
Copy !req
937. - Next time?
- What?
Copy !req
938. - Yeah.
- He's gonna do it again!
Copy !req
939. - That's not gonna
work this time...
Copy !req
940. dummy.
- Okay, excuse me.
Copy !req
941. I'm sorry,
but this is unacceptable.
Copy !req
942. I demand to speak
to your superior.
Copy !req
943. - Well, as humans like to say,
Copy !req
944. third time's the charm, right?
Copy !req
945. I take full responsibility
for the false start.
Copy !req
946. But I assure you all,
there is no note this time.
Copy !req
947. I'll prove it to you.
Janet!
Copy !req
948. - Hi there.
Copy !req
949. - Hi, Janet.
Open your mouth please.
Copy !req
950. Thank you.
Copy !req
951. See, no notes.
No clues or loopholes—
Copy !req
952. nothing in there!
Copy !req
953. Thank you, Janet.
So, let's all just pretend
Copy !req
954. the last attempt
never even happened.
Copy !req
955. Questions.
- Maybe it's none
Copy !req
956. of our business,
but did you tell Shawn
Copy !req
957. what happened?
- Yes, I did.
Copy !req
958. And he completely understood.
Copy !req
959. As a matter of fact,
Copy !req
960. he found the whole thing
kind of funny.
Copy !req
961. But he was very supportive,
Copy !req
962. and he says he's very excited
Copy !req
963. for us to get going again.
Copy !req
964. So, anyone else?
Copy !req
965. Anybody?
Copy !req
966. No?
Then let's get out there
Copy !req
967. and make some miseries!
Copy !req
968. Testing, one, two, three...
Copy !req
969. - Hey there, boss-man.
- You were supposed to call me
Copy !req
970. this morning, give me an update.
- Oh.
Copy !req
971. Right, sorry.
Copy !req
972. Yeah, it's just the...
Copy !req
973. the chaos sequence was
going so well—
Copy !req
974. better than the first time,
in my opinion.
Copy !req
975. Eleanor got completely drunk
last night.
Copy !req
976. She talked for, like, an hour.
Copy !req
977. You know, even flashed somebody,
so we had a lot to work with.
Copy !req
978. - So, attempt number two is
on track so far?
Copy !req
979. - Oh, smooth as silk.
Everything's great.
Copy !req
980. - Oh!
Copy !req
981. Sounds like everything's
going well back there too.
Copy !req
982. - We're trying out
the new butthole spiders.
Copy !req
983. - Ah!
- They're enormous.
Copy !req
984. You know, good
old-fashioned torture—
Copy !req
985. the way it's supposed to be.
Copy !req
986. Good luck
with attempt number two.
Copy !req
987. And remember,
Copy !req
988. there will be no
attempt number three.
Copy !req
989. - Eleanor?
Come on in.
Copy !req