1. Good evening, and welcome to Play of the Week,
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2. where each week a new play is performed live
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3. in front of a studio audience and broadcast to the nation.
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4. I am Robert Grove, the director.
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5. Now, last Christmas, we presented the Nativity story,
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6. which received so many complaints
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7. I was able to launch a successful coup
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8. and dislodge our previous director Chris Bean
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9. from his post.
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10. In fact, that reminds me.
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11. Chris, here are the rewrites for this evening.
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12. Chris Bean, everyone.
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13. I know, I know.
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14. Now, when Chris directed our productions,
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15. they did sometimes contain errors.
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16. In fact, the opening scene of the Nativity
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17. contained 27 mistakes alone.
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18. But for tonight's epic family saga,
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19. I can confidently announce there will be no more errors,
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20. no mishaps.
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21. Tonight, everything will be perfrect.
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22. Perfrect? Perfect.
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23. Sorry, that was an error, there'll be no more errors.
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24. That didn't happen. Reset your minds,
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25. we'll go again.
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26. Tonight, everything will be perfect.
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27. The actors are prepared, the stage is set.
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28. Please enjoy, Summer Once Again.
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29. Where's the table?
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30. Oh, I feel I have lived through this moment
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31. so many times before.
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32. So often have I dreamt of Roger's return
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33. to Northwood Manor.
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34. They say war changes a man, sister.
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35. Do you think I will recognize him, Edward?
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36. He's Roger.
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37. Of course you'll recognize your son.
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38. For years, you have hoped he will come home hard.
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39. Hoped hard he will come home. Yes.
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40. Hard. -Stop saying hard.
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41. You are a pure and pious man, brother.
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42. Jacob, hurry along,
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43. make sure there's enough wood on the fire.
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44. Yes, ma'am!
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45. Careful not to work the boy too...
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46. Hard.
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47. Nonsense.
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48. We need all the wood we can get.
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49. Oh, there's hardly any heat coming off this at all!
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50. Let me check to see if the cake is ready.
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51. Mrs. Wimblegate!
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52. Ooh!
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53. We are almost ready, ma'am.
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54. Margaret! -Yes, ma'am?
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55. Hurry and get that tea on the stove, girl.
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56. Sorry, Mrs. Wimblegate.
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57. Let me help you, Miss Margaret.
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58. You do look a picture today.
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59. Thank you.
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60. Everything must be just so for Roger's arrival.
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61. Coughs!
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62. Oh don't say coughs, just cough!
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63. Your goulashes.
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64. Thank you.
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65. Now, Dr. Smith insists you eat every mouthful
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66. of your food, brother.
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67. This beef is as tough as old boots!
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68. Oh, it must be Roger!
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69. Already?
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70. And here's me with my hair all a mess.
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71. Mrs. Wimblegate,
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72. where are my rain boots?
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73. Your galoshes.
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74. Thank you.
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75. Oh, Roger and I will want to take a walk
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76. around the grounds.
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77. It's just like we used to.
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78. Roger!
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79. Mother, I have returned!
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80. Bravo!
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81. Hey.
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82. You were a boy when you left, but now I see a man before me.
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83. It's good to see you, Mother.
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84. I've missed you all so very much.
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85. Except for that manure boy. Aah, there he is!
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86. I'm sorry about my appearance, sir.
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87. Yes, well, 'tis foul. Take my bag inside, you peasant.
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88. Welcome back, young sir.
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89. I heard tales of your great skill.
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90. You are revolting.
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91. Well, if that's all sir, I must be going.
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92. This manure won't eat itself.
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93. Be gone.
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94. There, all finished.
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95. Salutations Uncle.
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96. Ah, my favorite nephew!
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97. But how pale you look.
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98. He fell yesterday walking Monty.
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99. Ah, hello, Monty!
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100. He needs a second helping to get his strength up.
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101. The cake, ma'am.
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102. Sit, Roger, we must celebrate your safe return.
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103. Thank you, Mother.
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104. Oh, Mrs. Wimblegate, this looks exquisite.
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105. There, second helping finished.
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106. Ugh. Now no more.
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107. You're not finished until you've had a big mouthful of cake.
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108. Well, I do love cake.
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109. Open wide.
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110. Aah...
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111. Mm...
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112. Mother, tell me, where is my fiancée?
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113. Where is...
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114. Susan.
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115. I was pausing.
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116. Where's Susan?
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117. Susan?
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118. Edward, will you give us a reading from the Bible?
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119. "Summer Once Again. Robert Grove rehearsal diary.
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120. The cast are terrible."
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121. "Forever and ever. Amen."
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122. Mother, I will not be distracted!
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123. Where is Susan?
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124. Oh, Roger.
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125. I think you'd better speak to Dr. Smith.
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126. For God's sake, that's 28 mistakes.
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127. Right.
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128. We'll go again.
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129. What? Go again!
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130. From the top? Yep,
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131. none of that happened. -Yes, it did.
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132. Nope, reset. -We can't go back!
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133. I'm the director! We'll go again!
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134. That's ridiculous!
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135. Reset the car!
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136. My apologies, ladies and gentlemen.
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137. It's not a real car!
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138. My apologies, ladies and gentlemen,
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139. but I'm sure you'll all agree that scene was not perfect.
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140. Particularly Chris's performance.
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141. So, we're going to go back from the top.
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142. Although we will have to get a move on.
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143. Is everyone ready?
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144. Perfect. Perfect.
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145. The stage is set.
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146. The actors are perprared.
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147. Prepared. Sorry.
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148. I'm under a lot of pessure.
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149. Pressure.
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150. Please enjoy Summer Once Again.
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151. Again.
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152. Where are the actors?
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153. I feel I have lived through this moment
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154. so many times before.
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155. So often have I dreamt of Roger's return
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156. to Northwood Manor.
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157. They say war changes a man, sister.
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158. Do you think I will recognize him, Edward?
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159. He's Roger.
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160. Of course you'll recognize your son.
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161. For years you have hoped...
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162. Hard.
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163. he will come home hard.
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164. You are a pure and pious man brother.
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165. Jacob, hurry along.
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166. Make sure there's enough wood for the fire.
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167. Yes, ma'am.
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168. Careful not to get the boy too hard.
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169. Nonsense!
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170. We need all the wood we can get,
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171. there's hardly any heat coming off this at all.
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172. Argh, that's hot!
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173. I'll just check to see if the cake is ready.
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174. Mrs. Wimblegate!
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175. We're almost ready, ma'am.
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176. Margaret! -Yes, ma'am?
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177. Hurry and get that tea on the stove, girl.
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178. Sorry, Mrs. Wimblegate.
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179. Let me help you, Miss Margaret.
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180. No, no...
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181. You do look a picture today.
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182. Thank you.
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183. Oh!
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184. Everything must be just so for Roger's arrival.
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185. Don't say "coughs" this time!
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186. Argh!
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187. Your goulashes.
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188. Thank you.
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189. Now, Dr. Smith insists you eat every mouthful
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190. of your food, brother.
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191. This beef is as tough as old boots.
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192. Oh, it must be Roger!
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193. Already?
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194. And here's me with my hair all a mess.
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195. Mrs. Wimblegate,
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196. where are my rain boots?
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197. Your galoshes.
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198. Thank you.
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199. Roger and I will...
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200. will want to take a walk...
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201. Want to take a walk around the grounds.
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202. Just like we used to...
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203. Roger!
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204. Mother, I have returned!
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205. Bravo!
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206. Thank you.
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207. You were a boy when you left, but now I...
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208. Now... Ooh.
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209. Now I see a man before me.
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210. It's good to see you, Mother.
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211. I've missed you all so very much.
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212. Except for that ugly, destitute and syphilitic manure boy.
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213. Ah, there he is.
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214. I am sorry about my appearance...
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215. and smell.
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216. And?
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217. Small manhood.
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218. Which?
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219. I oft expose in the town.
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220. So you should be. Take my bag inside, you peasant.
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221. Welcome back young sir.
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222. I...
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223. Ah, manure boy, you're so weak.
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224. What have you put in there? -Nothing.
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225. You're just weak.
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226. Well, if that's all, sir, I must be going.
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227. This manure won't eat itself.
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228. Before you go, do tell me one more thing.
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229. I have a bowel condition.
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230. Yes, you do. Probably, from eating all that manure.
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231. Be gone.
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232. That scene is really working now.
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233. Salutations, Uncle.
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234. Ah, my favorite nephew!
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235. But how pale you look!
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236. He fell yesterday walking Monty.
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237. Ah, hello, Monty.
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238. He needs a second helping to help get his strength up.
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239. Woah!
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240. The cake, ma'am.
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241. Come. Sit, Roger, we must celebrate your safe return.
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242. Thank you, Mother.
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243. Oh, Mrs. Wimblegate, this looks exquisite.
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244. Ma'am.
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245. There! Second helping finished.
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246. Now no more!
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247. You're not finished until you've had a big mouthful of cake.
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248. Well, I do love cake.
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249. Open wide!
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250. Ah...
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251. Mm..
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252. Mother, tell me, where is my fiancée?
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253. Where is...
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254. Sorry, is it my line? -No, I'm pausing!
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255. I'm pau... Where's Susan?
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256. Susan...
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257. Edward, will you give us a reading?
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258. "Rehearsals, day seven.
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259. The play is not improving.
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260. Maybe Mother was right,
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261. maybe I am all talk and no trousers.
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262. Forever and ever. Amen."
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263. Alright, stop there!
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264. And again from the top.
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265. No, no, we'll go again!
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266. I'm so sorry, Ladies and Gentlemen.
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267. None of that happened.
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268. Reset your minds and please enjoy
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269. Summer Once Again. Again, again.
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270. Oh, for goodness sake!
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271. I feel I have lived through this moment
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272. so many times before.
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273. So often have I dreamt of Roger's return
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274. to Northwood Manor.
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275. They say war changes a man, sister.
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276. Do you think I'll recognize him, Edward?
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277. He's recognize, of course you'll Roger your son.
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278. For years you have hoped hard he will come home...
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279. not hard.
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280. You are a pure and pious man, brother.
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281. Three pages early!
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282. Jacob, hurry along,
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283. make sure there's enough wood on the fire.
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284. Yes, ma'am.
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285. Careful not to work the work too work.
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286. Careful not to hard the work too hard.
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287. Careful not to get the two workmen too hard.
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288. Nonsense!
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289. We need all the wood we can get.
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290. There's hardly any heat...
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291. coming off...
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292. Aah!
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293. I'll just check to see if the cake is ready.
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294. Mrs. Wimblegate!
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295. We're almost ready, ma'am.
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296. Margaret! -Ooh!
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297. Yes, ma'am?
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298. Hurry and get that tea on the stove girl.
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299. Sorry, Mrs. Wimblegate.
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300. Let me help you with that, Miss Margaret.
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301. You do look a picture today.
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302. Thank you.
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303. Er... Er...
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304. Everything must be just so for Roger's arrival.
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305. If you say "coughs" this time, I'll hit you.
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306. Ooh!
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307. Your goulashes.
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308. Thank you.
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309. Now, Dr. Smith insists you eat every mouthful
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310. of your food, brother.
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311. This beef is tough as old boots.
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312. Oh, it must be Roger!
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313. Already? And here's me with my hair all a mess.
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314. Mrs. Wimblegate,
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315. where are my rain boots?
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316. Your galoshes.
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317. Thank you.
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318. Oh, I see what I've done.
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319. Roger!
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320. Argh!
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321. Mother! I have returned...
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322. Bravo!
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323. Not yet!
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324. Mother, I have returned...
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325. Bravo! vo! vo!
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326. Turn it off! Turn it.. Argh!
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327. Ugh!
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328. You were a boy when you left,
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329. but now I...
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330. see a... see a man before me.
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331. It's good to see you, mother.
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332. I've missed you all so very much.
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333. Except for that manure boy.
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334. Ah, there he is.
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335. I am sorry about my appearance, sir.
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336. Take my bag inside.
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337. Argh!
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338. Well, if that's all, sir, I must be going...
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339. but it looks as though someone has beaten me
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340. to my supper this evening.
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341. Be gone!
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342. There, all finished.
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343. Salutations, Uncle.
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344. Ah, my favorite nephew!
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345. But how pale you look!
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346. He fell yesterday walking Monty.
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347. Ah, hello, Mon...
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348. He needs a second helping to get his strength up.
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349. Uh-oh.
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350. Mm.
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351. The cake, ma'am.
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352. Come. Sit, Roger,
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353. we must celebrate your safe return.
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354. Thank you, Mother.
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355. Ah, Mrs. Wimblegate,
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356. this looks exquisite.
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357. Ma'am.
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358. Well, second helping finished.
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359. Now no more.
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360. You're not finished until you've had a big mouthful of cake.
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361. Well, I do love cake.
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362. Open wide!
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363. Ugh...
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364. Mother.
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365. Mother, tell me, where is my fiancée?
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366. Where is...
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367. What was her name? -Susan!
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368. Susan. Forgettable name.
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369. Susan.
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370. Edward, will you give us a reading?
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371. "Lost my notebook.
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372. Making do with Dennis' prop Bible.
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373. Heard back from Dench.
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374. Unavailable.
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375. Annie remains.
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376. Last night was a night to remember.
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377. Another spanking from mother—"
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378. Right, that was worse.
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379. We have to move on, we have six minutes
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380. to finish the whole play.
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381. In all my years as a physician—
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382. No! No, no, no, no!
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383. Cut the doctor, we don't have time.
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384. Susan died while I was away.
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385. Of typhoid. -That doesn't matter.
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386. Close the house. Scene three! Morning, Jacob.
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387. Oh.
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388. Morning, sir!
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389. I have noticed since you have returned,
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390. you carry with you such a quiet dignity.
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391. Grief makes solemn poets of us all.
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392. Sir, would you like to while away an hour
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393. at the chess board like we used to?
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394. Thank you, young Jacob, that may ease my pain.
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395. There is nothing more calming than an hour spent
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396. in the company of these fine bishops and knights.
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397. I have missed our games in your absence.
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398. Good move, Jacob.
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399. Ah, chess is a game when you must never rush your turn.
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400. I shall ponder my repost at length while listening
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401. to the birds in the orchard.
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402. Done.
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403. You always did think strategically,
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404. always five moves ahead.
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405. Yet strategy comes naturally to you, Jacob, does it not?
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406. Well, one must take whatever advantage is presented.
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407. You have certainly taken advantage, have you not?
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408. Bishop takes pawn. -What are you getting at sir?
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409. Susan wrote to me of you. Bishop takes knight.
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410. Well the truth is she fell ill
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411. while you were away at the front.
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412. I gave her comfort in your absence as any man would.
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413. And yes, we grew close. Check.
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414. Block. -And, dare I say,
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415. we fell in love, but who are you to pass judgement?
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416. You never loved her as I could, Roger.
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417. Checkmate.
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418. The days grow longer.
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419. It's as if the world has ground to a halt.
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420. Well, it must make the days more exciting to have a man
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421. love you so. -Love me?
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422. Oh, yes, I've seen the long lingering looks
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423. Master Jacob gives you.
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424. Mrs. Wimblegate would not approve.
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425. One cannot live one's life scared of what others may think.
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426. Come, play us something soothing and gentle
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427. for these endless afternoons.
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428. Thank you! I made you this.
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429. Do you feel that chill in the wind ma'am?
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430. Oh, yes. Summer is drifting away.
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431. Soon it will be autumn.
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432. Oh!
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433. It's time for the harvest celebration.
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434. Mrs. Wimblegate, please bring me another blanket.
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435. When will my nephew return from the war?
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436. I'm back Uncle, do you not remember?
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437. Oh, yes, of course. Silly me.
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438. He is growing weak.
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439. Eat your supper.
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440. And plenty of water.
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441. No!
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442. The doctor says he won't survive the night.
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443. He lives another day!
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444. I say you are fit and strong, Uncle.
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445. Never mind what the doctor says.
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446. Listen to ten of his breaths and tell me if you hear
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447. a single falter.
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448. A man of sound body and mind.
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449. Coughs!
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450. Ugh! -Fetch the doctor!
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451. There's no time. Get out.
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452. Please, bring Monty to me.
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453. I want one more time to feel his tiny little...
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454. What are you doing? -Paws.
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455. No, brother, don't leave me.
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456. Please, Margaret, read me a Psalm.
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457. Of course.
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458. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
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459. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures,
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460. he leadeth me beside the still waters.
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461. He restoreth my soul, he leadeth me in the paths
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462. of righteousness for his name's sake.
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463. Yeah, though I walk through the valley of the shadow
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464. of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me:
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465. thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
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466. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies,
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467. surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days
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468. of my life, I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
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469. Amen. -Amen!
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470. Aah...
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471. Good. He's dead. Winter.
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472. Manure boy! Argh!
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473. Manure boy. -Morning.
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474. Over these months since my Uncle died,
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475. you have seemed somewhat quiet.
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476. Well, my bowel has decayed. -Of course it has.
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477. And I had come to care so deeply for your Uncle.
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478. Manure boy, you look so thin, so pale, so ghoulish.
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479. Not goulash!
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480. Manure boy, you are so disgusting,
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481. I never asked your name. What is it?
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482. Gavroche. -Galosh?
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483. Go away!
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484. I feel closer to you now,
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485. perhaps we might share our grief together?
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486. Right, now there's this whole long scene
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487. where we discuss our predicaments
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488. and, after many years of feeling animosity,
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489. we realize that, actually, we're very similar.
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490. Then, Gavroche dies of typhoid and that's the end of that.
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491. Scene five.
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492. Roger, have you seen the— -No time.
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493. Margaret and I realize we're reading the same book
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494. and we meet for dinner by the lake in secret.
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495. That happens, dinner finishes.
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496. There's a love scene which we pre-recorded, play that.
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497. Right, good.
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498. Oh, my soul is wracked with shame.
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499. This baby will have no future.
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500. Because she's a peasant. Baby. Baby! Baby! Baby!
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501. Oh, look, it's beautiful.
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502. You have your father's eyes.
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503. This baby brings shame onto Northwood Manor!
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504. I decide I can't be with Margaret,
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505. so I send her away.
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506. Farewell, my love. -Yep.
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507. I will write you every day. -Fine.
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508. Circumstance drives us apart, but love knows
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509. not the bounds of class or creed.
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510. All good. -Perhaps in another age,
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511. in another life, in another world
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512. we could have been together.
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513. Why not. Many years pass.
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514. Eventually, the boy grows up, comes back to see me,
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515. but there's no time for that.
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516. We reconnect.
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517. I give him ten shillings because he's poor,
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518. and then we meet back up every year.
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519. But then, one year he doesn't come
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520. and it turns out it's because he's died of typhoid.
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521. I feel remorse so I go on a religious pilgrimage
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522. to Jerusalem that—
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523. That's a really long sequence where I meet a wise priest,
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524. but there's no time for that.
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525. That whole sequence was supposed to happen
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526. in front of this huge tapestry of a Levantine pastoral scene
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527. which cost a fortune, so we will show that.
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528. There it is.
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529. Months of work there.
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530. I receive a message saying my mother is ailing,
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531. so I return home.
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532. There's a sandstorm, which we'll skip.
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533. I see my mother...
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534. Keep her moving.
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535. I think, all things considered,
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536. it's probably best that we're not doing that.
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537. I lose an eye in a duel with Jacob, and then he finds out
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538. he has typhoid and kills himself before the typhoid kills him.
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539. In rehearsal, that was very moving.
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540. Then, Mrs. Wimblegate,
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541. who was really in love with Jacob all along,
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542. kills Monty the dog...
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543. It made sense in context. Something about loss.
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544. The ghost of my Uncle appears to me in a dream...
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545. Though I'm gone, I'm always hard.
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546. That's not the line.
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547. Mrs. Wimblegate and I have an argument.
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548. He's gone! Your mother's estate is in ruin and now she's dead!
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549. All of that. And then, as I start to succumb
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550. to my illness...
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551. Oh, no, I forgot that!
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552. Yes, there's a scene where you find out I have typhoid as well.
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553. That happens in the second scene,
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554. we skipped that. So...
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555. So imagine I was dying all along, okay?
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556. So, all through that, I was dying,
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557. so there's a layer of subtext to it.
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558. Quite, quite sad. Right, what's next?
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559. Oh, yes, now it's spring.
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560. Jesus! So, that's spring.
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561. Okay, now...
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562. That's the stove!
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563. Put a wet cloth on that.
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564. And then, as I die, I say,
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565. "It will soon be summer once again."
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566. And that's...
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567. That's the end.
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568. Yeah. Right. Now, because we've rushed,
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569. there are quite a few minutes left.
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570. Does anyone have any questions?
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571. No? Anyone?
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572. How many mistakes was that, Robert?
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573. Tell you what.
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574. We'll go back, we'll do the second scene with the doctor.
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575. Open the house.
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576. In all my years as a physician—
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577. No, no. Sorry, my watch is slow.
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578. That is the end.
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