1. Ahh! Smell that country air, boys.
Wasn't it a great idea to spend a week
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2. - with my brother on the farm?
- No.
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3. - Isn't it good to get away from the TV?
- No.
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4. And won't it be great to get up
at the crack of dawn and do chores?
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5. No, no and no.
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6. And in that order.
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7. Yeah! Seven days of no TV,
no pizza delivery
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8. and Jon calling his brother
a name he doesn't like.
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9. "Don't call me Doc Boy!
Don't call me Doc Boy!"
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10. Don't call me Doc Boy!
Don't call me Doc Boy!
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11. Doc Boy, Doc Boy, Doc Boy!
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12. Told ya.
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13. You'll like working here on the farm, Jon.
It's a very efficient operation.
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14. That's my farmhand, Ralph.
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15. - How's it going, Ralph?
- Fine, Mr. Arbuckle.
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16. I'm just about to go commence
to milking the cows.
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17. Later on, Ralph will collect the eggs
that my chickens have laid today.
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18. They are all very productive.
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19. - Sure looks that way, Doc Boy.
- Don't call me "Doc Boy."
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20. And later, he or I will milk the cows.
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21. I sell the milk, the eggs, the crops
at the local farmer's market.
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22. It's going to be fun to work here,
Doc Boy.
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23. Don't call me "Doc Boy."
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24. Mmm!
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25. You are way too happy to be here, Odie.
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26. I'm gonna start the milking, Mr. Arbuckle,
but I wanted to ask you about something.
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27. We got this ad here,
it says, "High definition cable TV.
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28. Two hundred and fifty channels
of movie, sports, music,
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29. programs like Super Millionaire,
Name That Fish and—"
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30. Forget about it.
We've decided not to have TV on this farm.
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31. No TV. That's inhumane.
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32. There are some good things on TV.
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33. Maybe, but we took a vote.
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34. I let all the animals vote
and we all decided.
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35. No TV on this farm.
Do you want TV here, ladies?
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36. Moo!
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37. Well, what do a bunch of cows know?
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38. Just thought I'd ask.
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39. It's settled. No TV on this farm.
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40. Come on, Jon.
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41. You can go with me into town
to pick up supplies.
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42. Fine with me, Doc Boy.
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43. Garfield, you and Odie
can do the chores while we're gone.
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44. I made up a short list.
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45. Chores? Is that anything like work?
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46. Oh, and before I forget, Jon,
don't call me "Doc Boy"!
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47. Doc Boy, Doc Boy, Doc Boy!
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48. We have an awful lot of things to do, Ode.
We better get to work.
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49. First off, there is raking the leaves.
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50. Then we got to wash the windows
in the barn.
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51. Then we have to pile up the firewood.
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52. Missed a spot.
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53. Hmm? Oh!
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54. Gee, all my favorite shows are on
and I'm missing them.
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55. I know, I know. They voted.
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56. Well then, we'll just
have to demand a recount.
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57. - Huh?
- You know, chads.
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58. Wouldn't it be easier
to go down to the supermarket?
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59. They have a whole
refrigerator case of this stuff.
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60. How's about if you give it a try, cat?
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61. - This is a strange way to get milk.
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62. - Excuse the claws, ma'am. Aaah!
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63. - Oh, you think that's funny, do you?
- Aaah!
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64. Mmm!
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65. Sorry.
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66. I'm just bored because there's no TV
to watch on this farm.
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67. TV? What's so great about TV?
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68. What's so great?
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69. You can see the world without having
to actually get up and do something.
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70. Look at all these great channels,
like the All Hopscotch Network.
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71. And over here
is special programming for cows.
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72. "A cooking show with recipes for
the most delicious cud you ever chewed."
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73. Oh, tell me more.
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74. Oh, everything on TV is so great.
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75. Do you think we'll get TV soon?
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76. I'm working on it.
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77. Next up, we have to convince
the chickens, then the horses.
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78. Yeah!
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79. Good afternoon, I'm Walter Turkeybaster
with the news for puppy dogs.
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80. - We must be close to your farm, Doc Boy.
- We are. And don't call me "Doc Boy."
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81. Doc Boy, Doc Boy, Doc Boy!
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82. Hey, that truck's
from the cable TV company.
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83. - I thought you weren't going to order it.
- That's what I thought, too.
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84. All hooked up, sir.
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85. I didn't order cable TV.
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86. Your farmhand did.
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87. He called, and I got here
before the pizza delivery guy.
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88. - Pizza?
- Buongiorno!
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89. I came all the way from the city,
many miles, to bring you Vito's fine pies,
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90. as ordered, Doc Boy!
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91. I've got to get to the bottom of this.
Don't you call me "Doc Boy," either.
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92. so the secret of good, chewable cud
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93. is to start with a top-grade grass
and weeds.
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94. Avoid, you know,
burs or stickers at all costs.
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95. What are you all doing?
You should be giving milk.
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96. Shh!
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97. My cows aren't giving milk. But it's okay.
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98. My chickens have been laying
lots of eggs lately.
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99. How's the egg production going?
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100. Shh!
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101. My chickens aren't laying eggs.
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102. But at least
my horses aren't lying around
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103. watching TV and eating pizza.
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104. How much do you wanna bet?
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105. What are you doing?
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106. Shh!
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107. No one's doing any work.
I have to find out who's responsible.
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108. I have a feeling I know.
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109. And now, Mrs. Edna Flurp,
for one million dollars,
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110. can you name that fish?
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111. Looks like Herbert to me.
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112. You know, this living on a farm
isn't so bad... now.
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113. - My cows are watching TV and eating pizza!
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114. My chickens are watching TV
and eating pizza!
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115. Even my horses are watching TV
and eating pizza!
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116. And do you know what they said to me?
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117. Shh!
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118. I'm ruined!
My farm will be out of business.
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119. - I'm sorry, Doc.
- I poured my life into this farm and...
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120. Doc. You called me Doc.
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121. Yeah, I guess I did.
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122. Here comes the mushy part.
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123. Do you know how long it's been
since you called me Doc
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124. - instead of "Doc Boy"?
- A while.
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125. Aww!
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126. I'm sorry, Mrs. Flurp.
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127. The name of the fish
you couldn't identify was Herbert.
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128. Told ya.
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129. And now we're dialing a phone number
selected completely at random
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130. to see if some lucky viewer at home
can name this fish!
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131. It's a freshwater
silver-crusted mango trout.
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132. I know my fish.
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133. If the person we call is watching
and can name this fish,
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134. he or she will win $100,000.
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135. Don't get your hopes up.
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136. The odds are a zillion to one
against them calling here.
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137. Then again...
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138. - Hello?
- Sir! Are you watching Name That Fish?
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139. No, I don't watch TV.
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140. Oh, yes, I guess I am watching.
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141. Super! Then for $100,000,
can you name that fish?
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142. - Sure.
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143. Freshwater silver-crusted
mango trout. Why?
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144. That is correct!
That is absolutely correct!
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145. You win $100,000!
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146. Doc! Are you okay?
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147. I'm right sorry about ruining your farm
the way I did, sir.
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148. Who needs farming? I'm rich! I'm rich!
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149. I'm sort of rich. I'm rich enough!
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150. Follow that man, Odie.
He's rich! He's rich!
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151. He's sort of rich.
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152. The big-screen TV, all the pizza,
paid vacations for your animals,
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153. your prize money will eventually run out.
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154. When it runs out, I'll go back to farming.
Everything will be in reruns anyway.
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155. Good pizza they have out here!
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156. Okay.
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157. Garfield! Garfield!
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158. - Garfield!
- Yaaaaaa!
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159. Oh, it's you, Nermal.
I thought it might be somebody.
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160. Just thought you'd like to know,
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161. I'm being entered
in a big pet show contest.
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162. - Not particularly.
- Oh, don't be jealous, Garfield.
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163. It's not your fault
that I'm adorable and you're not.
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164. - You don't even know any tricks.
- Sure, I know a trick. Wanna see a trick?
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165. Ohh!
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166. It's called the "Hurl the obnoxious kitten
out of the yard
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167. and have him land
in a trash dumpster" trick.
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168. Don't I do it well?
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169. All right, Garfield.
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170. Just for that, I'm not sharing
the lasagna with you.
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171. Lasagna? What lasagna? Where's lasagna?
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172. First prize in the pet show
is 100 pounds of Vito's lasagna.
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173. A three-day supply of Vito's lasagna?
Where do I sign up?
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174. No chance, Garfield.
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175. You're not cute enough
to be entered into the pet show.
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176. All the judges will just laugh at you.
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177. Oh yeah? We'll see about that.
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178. Boy, do I hate it when Nermal's right.
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179. Didn't make it, Garfield? I'm sorry.
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180. I guess the judges and I are even.
I don't think they're so cute, either.
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181. It's okay, Odie.
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182. Mr. Arbuckle,
I'm sorry we had to reject your cat
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183. but he's just so un-cute.
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184. Well, you're no
Miss Super Model yourself, fella.
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185. - Is that your dog?
- Sure. His name is Odie.
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186. This is the cutest dog I've seen
in 20 years of judging pet shows.
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187. You must enter him in the contest.
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188. Huh?
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189. Do it, Odester!
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190. I'll be your manager,
and if you win, we'll split the prize.
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191. - "Rearry"?
- Rearry.
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192. - Note. I did not say "equally."
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193. - My dog seems to wanna be in the contest.
- Excellent.
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194. I'll go fill out the paperwork.
That means we have 83 contestants.
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195. Eighty-three contestants?
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196. How's Odie gonna win
all that lasagna for me
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197. against 82 other contestants?
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198. I'll have to do something
to narrow the odds a bit.
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199. Hey, Garfield.
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200. Soon as I heard first prize was lasagna,
I knew you'd be in this contest.
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201. Not me. Not for that lasagna.
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202. I thought you loved Vito's lasagna.
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203. Not anymore.
Not since Vito started making it healthy.
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204. Healthy lasagna?
Ain't that a contradiction?
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205. He makes it out of soy and tofu
and then he throws in some tofu and soy.
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206. Sounds awful.
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207. It's lasagna I won't eat.
That oughta tell you plenty.
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208. I'm going to the other pet show
on the east side of town.
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209. They have real delicious lasagna
as the prize.
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210. Hey, if that's where the great prize is,
that's where I'm going.
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211. One down, 81 to go.
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212. Really? On the east side of town?
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213. Would I mislead you?
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214. Well, you always know
where the good lasagna is, Garfield.
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215. Always.
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216. Ahem. Seventy-nine, 80, 81...
Oh, I missed one.
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217. Ladies and gentlemen,
may I have your attention, please?
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218. We seem to have lost
most of our contestants.
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219. Gee, I wonder where they all went.
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220. We only have two: Odie the Dog...
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221. and Nermal the Cat.
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222. - Nermal! That's the one I missed.
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223. Our two contestants
will compete in several events
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224. to determine the winner,
starting with the cuteness competition.
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225. I know you're rooting for Odie, Garfield.
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226. But there's no way anyone's going
to beat Nermal in a cuteness competition.
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227. Yeah, we'll see about that.
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228. First, the judges will score Odie
with regard to cuteness.
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229. Oh! Oooh!
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230. Ahhh!
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231. Whoa!
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232. I love a good intellectual competition.
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233. Well, let's see how the judges
have scored Odie.
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234. Odie gets an eight, a nine, and a ten,
for a total of 27 points!
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235. And now we'll test
the cuteness of Nermal.
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236. And now we'll put cotton into Odie's ears.
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237. Here's where I take an early lead.
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238. I do cute better than anybody.
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239. Whoa!
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240. Awww!
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241. Meow!
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242. - Awwww!
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243. Observe what happens when you rub claws
on the average blackboard.
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244. Ewwwww!
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245. And in the cuteness competition,
the judges give Nermal a one,
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246. - a zero, and a minus-three!
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247. I can't believe it.
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248. You're almost as un-cute as that fat
orange cat that applied earlier.
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249. In any case, Odie has won the first event!
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250. The lasagna prize will be mine.
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251. Well, mine and Odie's. But mostly mine.
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252. We can't possibly lose.
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253. The next event
will be based on intelligence.
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254. Boy, can we lose.
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255. The object of this competition
is to find two matching items in the pile.
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256. Oh, my...
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257. Nermal will go first.
On your mark, get set, go!
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258. Ahh!
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259. - Yay!
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260. And Nermal finds one slipper
and then its match in seven seconds.
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261. - Let's see you top that, dog.
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262. All right, boy.
Go select an item from the pile.
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263. A slipper, okay.
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264. Now, go pick another slipper
out of the pile.
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265. No, that's a baseball mitt.
We need a slipper.
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266. No, that's a flashlight. Get a slipper.
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267. No, that's an eight-by-ten glossy
of Elvis Presley!
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268. We need a slipper! A slipper!
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269. No, that would be the Klopman Diamond.
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270. I'm sorry, Odie has brought you
every item in the building
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271. except the matching slipper.
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272. Nermal wins this event, tying the score.
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273. Odie, why can't you just
bring me a slipper?
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274. Even you're not that stupid.
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275. Why can't you understand me?
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276. The contest will be settled
by the final event,
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277. the obstacle course!
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278. Everyone, step outside!
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279. The pet who reaches the end
of this obstacle course first
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280. will win the competition
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281. and this piping-hot lasagna
from the master Italian chef Vito!
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282. Pets, ready? On your mark, get set, go!
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283. Whoa!
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284. - Huh?
Oh!
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285. - Huh?
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286. Oww!
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287. Nermal's nearing the finish line.
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288. Face it, Garfield. Odie's lost.
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289. I'm not giving up that lasagna
without a fight.
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290. And Nermal's heading for the finish line.
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291. Looks like this one
is just about over, folks.
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292. One more photo, Nermal!
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293. My public!
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294. What's this?
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295. Nermal's stopped just short
of the finish line for a photo-op!
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296. Just one more!
Now smile this way!
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297. One more photo, Nermal!
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298. Now, your good side!
Now, your other good side!
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299. Now what's happening?
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300. Odie has come from behind
and is heading for the finish line.
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301. - And Odie's the winner!
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302. Hey, what's everybody cheering about?
I didn't win yet!
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303. And it looks like
it's gonna stay that way.
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304. Hey! Nice job, Odie. You're a champion!
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305. Aww!
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306. Enjoy your lasagna prize, fellas.
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307. Oh, and, Garfield, Odie won the contest.
So divide it up fairly.
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308. Did you think I wouldn't?
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309. Did you think I would cheat someone
out of their fair share of lasagna?
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310. Odie gets a piece and I get a piece.
What could be fairer than that?
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311. Here's your one piece.
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312. Huh?
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313. And here's my one piece.
I won't eat it all now.
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314. I'll eat some now
and some in eight minutes.
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315. Nothing will prevent me
from enjoying this.
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316. There was no pet show
on the east side of town.
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317. What? No pet show
on the east side of town?
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318. Wait till I get my paws on that evil liar
who told me that.
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319. We walked all the way over there
and back, and now we're hungry.
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320. What do you say to that?
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321. Care for some lasagna?
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322. Thanks. I thought you'd never offer.
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