The Garfield Show 1x23

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Garfield goes to visit Jon's little brother Doc Boy. But with no TV and no pizza, Garfield shows the farm animals how to live life his way.

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1. Ahh! Smell that country air, boys. Wasn't it a great idea to spend a week

2. - with my brother on the farm? - No.

3. - Isn't it good to get away from the TV? - No.

4. And won't it be great to get up at the crack of dawn and do chores?

5. No, no and no.

6. And in that order.

7. Yeah! Seven days of no TV, no pizza delivery

8. and Jon calling his brother a name he doesn't like.

9. "Don't call me Doc Boy! Don't call me Doc Boy!"

10. Don't call me Doc Boy! Don't call me Doc Boy!

11. Doc Boy, Doc Boy, Doc Boy!

12. Told ya.

13. You'll like working here on the farm, Jon. It's a very efficient operation.

14. That's my farmhand, Ralph.

15. - How's it going, Ralph? - Fine, Mr. Arbuckle.

16. I'm just about to go commence to milking the cows.

17. Later on, Ralph will collect the eggs that my chickens have laid today.

18. They are all very productive.

19. - Sure looks that way, Doc Boy. - Don't call me "Doc Boy."

20. And later, he or I will milk the cows.

21. I sell the milk, the eggs, the crops at the local farmer's market.

22. It's going to be fun to work here, Doc Boy.

23. Don't call me "Doc Boy."

24. Mmm!

25. You are way too happy to be here, Odie.

26. I'm gonna start the milking, Mr. Arbuckle, but I wanted to ask you about something.

27. We got this ad here, it says, "High definition cable TV.

28. Two hundred and fifty channels of movie, sports, music,

29. programs like Super Millionaire, Name That Fish and—"

30. Forget about it. We've decided not to have TV on this farm.

31. No TV. That's inhumane.

32. There are some good things on TV.

33. Maybe, but we took a vote.

34. I let all the animals vote and we all decided.

35. No TV on this farm. Do you want TV here, ladies?

36. Moo!

37. Well, what do a bunch of cows know?

38. Just thought I'd ask.

39. It's settled. No TV on this farm.

40. Come on, Jon.

41. You can go with me into town to pick up supplies.

42. Fine with me, Doc Boy.

43. Garfield, you and Odie can do the chores while we're gone.

44. I made up a short list.

45. Chores? Is that anything like work?

46. Oh, and before I forget, Jon, don't call me "Doc Boy"!

47. Doc Boy, Doc Boy, Doc Boy!

48. We have an awful lot of things to do, Ode. We better get to work.

49. First off, there is raking the leaves.

50. Then we got to wash the windows in the barn.

51. Then we have to pile up the firewood.

52. Missed a spot.

53. Hmm? Oh!

54. Gee, all my favorite shows are on and I'm missing them.

55. I know, I know. They voted.

56. Well then, we'll just have to demand a recount.

57. - Huh? - You know, chads.

58. Wouldn't it be easier to go down to the supermarket?

59. They have a whole refrigerator case of this stuff.

60. How's about if you give it a try, cat?

61. - This is a strange way to get milk.

62. - Excuse the claws, ma'am. Aaah!

63. - Oh, you think that's funny, do you? - Aaah!

64. Mmm!

65. Sorry.

66. I'm just bored because there's no TV to watch on this farm.

67. TV? What's so great about TV?

68. What's so great?

69. You can see the world without having to actually get up and do something.

70. Look at all these great channels, like the All Hopscotch Network.

71. And over here is special programming for cows.

72. "A cooking show with recipes for the most delicious cud you ever chewed."

73. Oh, tell me more.

74. Oh, everything on TV is so great.

75. Do you think we'll get TV soon?

76. I'm working on it.

77. Next up, we have to convince the chickens, then the horses.

78. Yeah!

79. Good afternoon, I'm Walter Turkeybaster with the news for puppy dogs.

80. - We must be close to your farm, Doc Boy. - We are. And don't call me "Doc Boy."

81. Doc Boy, Doc Boy, Doc Boy!

82. Hey, that truck's from the cable TV company.

83. - I thought you weren't going to order it. - That's what I thought, too.

84. All hooked up, sir.

85. I didn't order cable TV.

86. Your farmhand did.

87. He called, and I got here before the pizza delivery guy.

88. - Pizza? - Buongiorno!

89. I came all the way from the city, many miles, to bring you Vito's fine pies,

90. as ordered, Doc Boy!

91. I've got to get to the bottom of this. Don't you call me "Doc Boy," either.

92. so the secret of good, chewable cud

93. is to start with a top-grade grass and weeds.

94. Avoid, you know, burs or stickers at all costs.

95. What are you all doing? You should be giving milk.

96. Shh!

97. My cows aren't giving milk. But it's okay.

98. My chickens have been laying lots of eggs lately.

99. How's the egg production going?

100. Shh!

101. My chickens aren't laying eggs.

102. But at least my horses aren't lying around

103. watching TV and eating pizza.

104. How much do you wanna bet?

105. What are you doing?

106. Shh!

107. No one's doing any work. I have to find out who's responsible.

108. I have a feeling I know.

109. And now, Mrs. Edna Flurp, for one million dollars,

110. can you name that fish?

111. Looks like Herbert to me.

112. You know, this living on a farm isn't so bad... now.

113. - My cows are watching TV and eating pizza!

114. My chickens are watching TV and eating pizza!

115. Even my horses are watching TV and eating pizza!

116. And do you know what they said to me?

117. Shh!

118. I'm ruined! My farm will be out of business.

119. - I'm sorry, Doc. - I poured my life into this farm and...

120. Doc. You called me Doc.

121. Yeah, I guess I did.

122. Here comes the mushy part.

123. Do you know how long it's been since you called me Doc

124. - instead of "Doc Boy"? - A while.

125. Aww!

126. I'm sorry, Mrs. Flurp.

127. The name of the fish you couldn't identify was Herbert.

128. Told ya.

129. And now we're dialing a phone number selected completely at random

130. to see if some lucky viewer at home can name this fish!

131. It's a freshwater silver-crusted mango trout.

132. I know my fish.

133. If the person we call is watching and can name this fish,

134. he or she will win $100,000.

135. Don't get your hopes up.

136. The odds are a zillion to one against them calling here.

137. Then again...

138. - Hello? - Sir! Are you watching Name That Fish?

139. No, I don't watch TV.

140. Oh, yes, I guess I am watching.

141. Super! Then for $100,000, can you name that fish?

142. - Sure.

143. Freshwater silver-crusted mango trout. Why?

144. That is correct! That is absolutely correct!

145. You win $100,000!

146. Doc! Are you okay?

147. I'm right sorry about ruining your farm the way I did, sir.

148. Who needs farming? I'm rich! I'm rich!

149. I'm sort of rich. I'm rich enough!

150. Follow that man, Odie. He's rich! He's rich!

151. He's sort of rich.

152. The big-screen TV, all the pizza, paid vacations for your animals,

153. your prize money will eventually run out.

154. When it runs out, I'll go back to farming. Everything will be in reruns anyway.

155. Good pizza they have out here!

156. Okay.

157. Garfield! Garfield!

158. - Garfield! - Yaaaaaa!

159. Oh, it's you, Nermal. I thought it might be somebody.

160. Just thought you'd like to know,

161. I'm being entered in a big pet show contest.

162. - Not particularly. - Oh, don't be jealous, Garfield.

163. It's not your fault that I'm adorable and you're not.

164. - You don't even know any tricks. - Sure, I know a trick. Wanna see a trick?

165. Ohh!

166. It's called the "Hurl the obnoxious kitten out of the yard

167. and have him land in a trash dumpster" trick.

168. Don't I do it well?

169. All right, Garfield.

170. Just for that, I'm not sharing the lasagna with you.

171. Lasagna? What lasagna? Where's lasagna?

172. First prize in the pet show is 100 pounds of Vito's lasagna.

173. A three-day supply of Vito's lasagna? Where do I sign up?

174. No chance, Garfield.

175. You're not cute enough to be entered into the pet show.

176. All the judges will just laugh at you.

177. Oh yeah? We'll see about that.

178. Boy, do I hate it when Nermal's right.

179. Didn't make it, Garfield? I'm sorry.

180. I guess the judges and I are even. I don't think they're so cute, either.

181. It's okay, Odie.

182. Mr. Arbuckle, I'm sorry we had to reject your cat

183. but he's just so un-cute.

184. Well, you're no Miss Super Model yourself, fella.

185. - Is that your dog? - Sure. His name is Odie.

186. This is the cutest dog I've seen in 20 years of judging pet shows.

187. You must enter him in the contest.

188. Huh?

189. Do it, Odester!

190. I'll be your manager, and if you win, we'll split the prize.

191. - "Rearry"? - Rearry.

192. - Note. I did not say "equally."

193. - My dog seems to wanna be in the contest. - Excellent.

194. I'll go fill out the paperwork. That means we have 83 contestants.

195. Eighty-three contestants?

196. How's Odie gonna win all that lasagna for me

197. against 82 other contestants?

198. I'll have to do something to narrow the odds a bit.

199. Hey, Garfield.

200. Soon as I heard first prize was lasagna, I knew you'd be in this contest.

201. Not me. Not for that lasagna.

202. I thought you loved Vito's lasagna.

203. Not anymore. Not since Vito started making it healthy.

204. Healthy lasagna? Ain't that a contradiction?

205. He makes it out of soy and tofu and then he throws in some tofu and soy.

206. Sounds awful.

207. It's lasagna I won't eat. That oughta tell you plenty.

208. I'm going to the other pet show on the east side of town.

209. They have real delicious lasagna as the prize.

210. Hey, if that's where the great prize is, that's where I'm going.

211. One down, 81 to go.

212. Really? On the east side of town?

213. Would I mislead you?

214. Well, you always know where the good lasagna is, Garfield.

215. Always.

216. Ahem. Seventy-nine, 80, 81... Oh, I missed one.

217. Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please?

218. We seem to have lost most of our contestants.

219. Gee, I wonder where they all went.

220. We only have two: Odie the Dog...

221. and Nermal the Cat.

222. - Nermal! That's the one I missed.

223. Our two contestants will compete in several events

224. to determine the winner, starting with the cuteness competition.

225. I know you're rooting for Odie, Garfield.

226. But there's no way anyone's going to beat Nermal in a cuteness competition.

227. Yeah, we'll see about that.

228. First, the judges will score Odie with regard to cuteness.

229. Oh! Oooh!

230. Ahhh!

231. Whoa!

232. I love a good intellectual competition.

233. Well, let's see how the judges have scored Odie.

234. Odie gets an eight, a nine, and a ten, for a total of 27 points!

235. And now we'll test the cuteness of Nermal.

236. And now we'll put cotton into Odie's ears.

237. Here's where I take an early lead.

238. I do cute better than anybody.

239. Whoa!

240. Awww!

241. Meow!

242. - Awwww!

243. Observe what happens when you rub claws on the average blackboard.

244. Ewwwww!

245. And in the cuteness competition, the judges give Nermal a one,

246. - a zero, and a minus-three!

247. I can't believe it.

248. You're almost as un-cute as that fat orange cat that applied earlier.

249. In any case, Odie has won the first event!

250. The lasagna prize will be mine.

251. Well, mine and Odie's. But mostly mine.

252. We can't possibly lose.

253. The next event will be based on intelligence.

254. Boy, can we lose.

255. The object of this competition is to find two matching items in the pile.

256. Oh, my...

257. Nermal will go first. On your mark, get set, go!

258. Ahh!

259. - Yay!

260. And Nermal finds one slipper and then its match in seven seconds.

261. - Let's see you top that, dog.

262. All right, boy. Go select an item from the pile.

263. A slipper, okay.

264. Now, go pick another slipper out of the pile.

265. No, that's a baseball mitt. We need a slipper.

266. No, that's a flashlight. Get a slipper.

267. No, that's an eight-by-ten glossy of Elvis Presley!

268. We need a slipper! A slipper!

269. No, that would be the Klopman Diamond.

270. I'm sorry, Odie has brought you every item in the building

271. except the matching slipper.

272. Nermal wins this event, tying the score.

273. Odie, why can't you just bring me a slipper?

274. Even you're not that stupid.

275. Why can't you understand me?

276. The contest will be settled by the final event,

277. the obstacle course!

278. Everyone, step outside!

279. The pet who reaches the end of this obstacle course first

280. will win the competition

281. and this piping-hot lasagna from the master Italian chef Vito!

282. Pets, ready? On your mark, get set, go!

283. Whoa!

284. - Huh? Oh!

285. - Huh?

286. Oww!

287. Nermal's nearing the finish line.

288. Face it, Garfield. Odie's lost.

289. I'm not giving up that lasagna without a fight.

290. And Nermal's heading for the finish line.

291. Looks like this one is just about over, folks.

292. One more photo, Nermal!

293. My public!

294. What's this?

295. Nermal's stopped just short of the finish line for a photo-op!

296. Just one more! Now smile this way!

297. One more photo, Nermal!

298. Now, your good side! Now, your other good side!

299. Now what's happening?

300. Odie has come from behind and is heading for the finish line.

301. - And Odie's the winner!

302. Hey, what's everybody cheering about? I didn't win yet!

303. And it looks like it's gonna stay that way.

304. Hey! Nice job, Odie. You're a champion!

305. Aww!

306. Enjoy your lasagna prize, fellas.

307. Oh, and, Garfield, Odie won the contest. So divide it up fairly.

308. Did you think I wouldn't?

309. Did you think I would cheat someone out of their fair share of lasagna?

310. Odie gets a piece and I get a piece. What could be fairer than that?

311. Here's your one piece.

312. Huh?

313. And here's my one piece. I won't eat it all now.

314. I'll eat some now and some in eight minutes.

315. Nothing will prevent me from enjoying this.

316. There was no pet show on the east side of town.

317. What? No pet show on the east side of town?

318. Wait till I get my paws on that evil liar who told me that.

319. We walked all the way over there and back, and now we're hungry.

320. What do you say to that?

321. Care for some lasagna?

322. Thanks. I thought you'd never offer.