The Garfield Show 1x22

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Liz introduces Jon to her parents. Liz's father is a grumpy man, while Liz's mother has a canary named Petey - who Garfield tries to eat.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. - Hi, Odie. I'm too busy to play.

2. I'm making my special double-wide, triple-cheese, meat and meatier lasagna

3. for Liz's birthday.

4. Can't have you underfoot just now, boy. But here's a nice bone.

5. Okay, let's have it.

6. Huh?

7. The bone. And it'd better be meatier than the one yesterday or else...

8. Tomorrow, get him to give you more of those doggy biscuit treats I love so much.

9. Almost done.

10. In other news, a rare alignment of cosmic forces will occur tonight.

11. Professor Harlow Cranfranz explains.

12. I know that smell. I know that smell and I love that smell.

13. Yes, the Dog Star, Sirius, otherwise known as Alpha Canis Major,

14. is in a unique position with regard to the star Canopus,

15. and are both in unprecedented alignment with the moon.

16. Now, you say this could have a strange effect on dogs on this planet?

17. Only the very stupidest ones.

18. In fact, a dog would have to have almost no IQ points at all to be affected.

19. Well, what have we here? Lasagna!

20. Take a good look at it, folks. It won't be here for much longer.

21. Oh, no you don't!

22. It's lasagna. I have to eat it. It's what I do best.

23. That lasagna is for Liz's birthday party.

24. If you touch it, I'm not feeding you until her next birthday.

25. Or the one after that. Or the one after that.

26. Alright, alright. I get the message, Mr. Subtlety.

27. I'm leaving this here to cool overnight. Don't. Just don't.

28. Hey! I have willpower not to eat this lasagna.

29. No, I don't. Yes, I do.

30. No, I don't. Maybe just one taste...

31. Alright, alright.

32. So, there'll be one lasagna in the world that doesn't get eaten by me.

33. It had to happen eventually.

34. Hi, boy. Did you enjoy that nice bone I gave you?

35. Well, the lasagna can cool overnight.

36. Maybe I'll turn in early.

37. Amazing. I thought for sure Garfield would devour that lasagna,

38. but it seems he's put it completely out of his mind.

39. I will not eat that lasagna. I will not eat that lasagna.

40. I will not eat that lasagna. Why can't I convince myself?

41. Huh?

42. I don't care how much my stomach growls, I am not gonna eat that lasagna.

43. - What's that?

44. - Odie! Did you hear anything in here? - Uh-uh.

45. I can't imagine what made that—

46. Lasagna for ten people... gone!

47. And I think it's pretty obvious who ate it.

48. - Garfield!

49. What's the big idea?

50. Garfield! You ate lasagna for ten people!

51. I did? Huh, I don't remember that.

52. I meant what I said, Garfield. I'm never going to feed you again.

53. Good night!

54. But I... that is... I didn't... I...

55. Maybe I did.

56. It's come to this. Not walking in my sleep but eating in my sleep.

57. Sorry I ate that lasagna, and I didn't even know it.

58. I bet it was good.

59. Huh?

60. Maybe I was too rough on Garfield, saying I was never going to feed him again.

61. I'll tell him he'll get food again in a year or two.

62. Garfield, I was thinking that never is a long time not to eat, so...

63. - Garfield! Yaaaaa!

64. Garfield, how could you do this?

65. Garfield, how could you do this?

66. And don't tell me you didn't do this.

67. - If you didn't, who did? - Maybe the pup?

68. Don't pin this on poor, sweet, harmless Odie.

69. Odie couldn't do something like this! I've had it with you, Garfield!

70. I hope you brought me some doggy treat biscuits.

71. Well, where are they?

72. What? No doggy treat biscuits? I warned you, runt.

73. Hey, you're not getting away from me that easy!

74. When I get my paws on you, you'll learn to take orders!

75. Now I've got you trapped, runt!

76. I was just kidding about the doggy treat biscuits.

77. You can have them all.

78. In fact, you can have mine. I never liked them.

79. I hope the TV still works.

80. As I have been continuously telling everyone,

81. the odd alignment of the stars could turn a dog into a savage,

82. out-of-control monster.

83. Gee. Could that have happened to Odie?

84. Of course, it would only happen to a dog who was really and truly stupid.

85. Yeah, that would be our Odie.

86. Garfield, I may owe you an apology. Let's go find Odie... quickly!

87. Put me down! Help!

88. I have a hunch I know where he is.

89. Yaaaaa!

90. - There you are, boy. Are you okay, Odie? - I don't know.

91. We'd better take you to see that professor we saw on the news.

92. I called the station and got his address. He's on Century Boulevard.

93. There's an all-night pizza place on Century Boulevard.

94. Oh, no. There's a policeman signaling to pull me over.

95. What's the rush, pal?

96. Oh, he's really gonna believe this.

97. It's my dog, officer. We think he may be turning into a huge, crazed monster.

98. No, honest. A professor on TV said it was possible.

99. We're going to see him right now.

100. Roll down the window and let me look at this monster of a dog.

101. That cute little puppy? A monster?

102. - Garfield, did you see what happened? - Nope.

103. Huh? - That's just your basic Odie.

104. Well, just in case, let's get him to that professor as quickly as possible.

105. Sorry to wake you up, Professor, but we were worried...

106. That your dog might be turning into a monster

107. because of the pattern of the moon and stars?

108. I don't think that's possible, not with such a harmless little creature!

109. - Ohh!

110. Also he does appear to be quite stupid.

111. We had to come to a professor for that news flash?

112. - But what if it is true? - Even if it is true, it does not matter.

113. The particular alignment of stars that caused the change, it is over now,

114. and will not occur again until the year 3459, on a Tuesday.

115. Well then, problem solved. If it ever even was a problem.

116. Besides, I have to deal with the following alignment of the moon and stars!

117. It may cause an eclipse that will affect cats.

118. - Cats? - Cats?

119. Yes, but not to worry.

120. If it does happen, it will only affect a very small number of cats.

121. Which cats, professor?

122. Only the ones that consume vast quantities of Italian food.

123. Hmm. I think I'll go see if that all-night pizza place is open.

124. Hello.

125. Yoo-hoo!

126. The first person to invent a remote control for vacuums

127. will be adored and venerated by all of catkind.

128. I know it's early, Garfield, but Liz's parents are coming

129. and everything needs to be perfect!

130. Oh, I can't greet them like this! What impression would that make?

131. Ohh.

132. An honest one?

133. Liz's parents will be watching me like a hawk and analyzing my every move.

134. Jon, I think a walrus threw up on your shirt.

135. Odie, well-bred dogs don't beg! You can't...

136. Odie! I just got through mopping that floor!

137. I'll deal with it later.

138. Now, where is that expensive caviar I bought?

139. Mmm.

140. Alright, listen to me, you two! My future with Liz is at stake.

141. When her parents get here, I expect you to be on your best behavior.

142. And to make sure that happens, there's a reward in store for you.

143. Whichever of you makes the most effort to make a good impression

144. will get a special treat.

145. Odie, go fetch the grooming brush,

146. I'm going to give you two a makeover before our guests arrive.

147. Ha ha! No way. I'd rather cough up a giant hairball

148. than share a brush with that mangy fleabag.

149. I'll do my own grooming, thank you.

150. Have it your way, Garfield,

151. but Odie just scored a point in the effort category.

152. - Good boy, Odie! Good boy!

153. What a suck-up.

154. I think I'll fit in a little beauty sleep before the guests arrive.

155. - Yaaaaaaa!

156. No! My suit! Get your filthy paws off me!

157. Down, boy! I said get down!

158. What in the world is going on out here?

159. I'll tell you what. That maniac dog of yours pounced on us.

160. Have him on a leash if he can't behave.

161. Odie, bad boy! I am so sorry about that.

162. Please, please, come in. We'll get all of you cleaned up inside.

163. That goes for you too, Odie!

164. Hi, Jon. Nice shirt.

165. Minus one for Odie. That reward is mine.

166. He doesn't usually jump on guests like that.

167. He must have been really excited to meet you.

168. Speaking of which, you haven't been properly introduced.

169. Mom, Dad, this is Jon. Jon, these are my parents.

170. Hi, I'm Mrs. Wilson, but you can call me Betty.

171. - And I'm Mr. Wilson.

172. Ha ha. Um... Nice to meet you.

173. Ahem. I believe you're already well acquainted with my dog, Odie.

174. And that's Garfield, my cat.

175. My, that's a fat cat! Liz, you should put that cat on a diet!

176. Oh, it's a pleasure meeting you too.

177. You've got a nice place, here, Jon, but this house needs a woman's touch.

178. I don't know about the house, but Jon certainly does.

179. That being said, an extra hand in the kitchen wouldn't hurt.

180. So, Jon, Liz tells us you're a cartoonist.

181. That's right, I—

182. Personally, I've always been for solid, respectable careers.

183. None of that fancy-schmancy stuff. I'm a tax auditor myself.

184. That would've been my second guess, after undertaker.

185. - Ohh!

186. Bad boy, Odie!

187. He's usually very well-behaved.

188. Minus two for Odie. Reward, come to papa.

189. Raising pets is like raising children. It requires a great deal of discipline.

190. Do you plan on having children one day, Jon?

191. Dad!

192. Speaking of children,

193. I haven't introduced you to my son yet, Jon!

194. Your son? Liz didn't mention she had a brother.

195. Jon, this is Petey. My pride and joy.

196. I raised and nurtured him ever since he was a baby.

197. - I can trust your pets with him, can't I? - Oh, sure. No problem.

198. Because if any harm came to him, I don't know what I'd do!

199. It breaks my heart to keep him cooped up in a cage.

200. So she coops us up instead. She spends her time closing windows.

201. And you spend it opening them. He's always saying it's stuffy.

202. Isn't he the smartest, cutest little thing?

203. He's the son I never had.

204. I would've said plump and juicy.

205. And he's going to be the hors d'oeuvres I'm going to have.

206. - Snack time! Go ahead, be my guest.

207. Try it! See what happens.

208. It'll be the most fun I've had in ages. Trust me.

209. I went to a lot of trouble chasing you. So humor me. Fight, struggle, beg, plead.

210. "Oh, please, Mr. Cat, don't eat me." There. Is that exciting enough for you?

211. Oh, You're gonna have to do better than that.

212. Garfield!

213. I'm warning you, Garfield!

214. If I catch you with that bird again, forget the reward!

215. - And no TV for a month! - No, stop!

216. I wouldn't gloat if I were you. I may be minus one, but you're minus two.

217. Forget that insipid sack of feathers.

218. It's like trying to get an adrenaline rush from a slice of plain white bread.

219. Ha ha!

220. Inanimate pre-sliced cold cuts are a hundred times more exciting.

221. Please, please, please, Mr. Cat! Eat me!

222. Come on, I know you want to. Just do it. Please?

223. Hey! You're supposed to beg me not to eat you, dodo.

224. But I must admit, you're slightly more tempting in sandwich form.

225. What's taking so long? Hurry up!

226. Well, if you insist.

227. Petey?

228. Oh, look, we're all out of hors d'oeuvres!

229. Why don't I go get us some more?

230. Oh, I see you've made yourself a nice...

231. Canary sandwich?

232. I'll give you one last warning, Garfield! If anything happens to that bird,

233. I'll put you on bread and water for life!

234. I need to get as far away as possible from that psycho bird.

235. Petey!

236. Petey, where are you?

237. Come to mama. It's not like him. He never leaves my side for long.

238. Don't worry, Mom. He couldn't have gone far.

239. Yeah, it's not like this house is a mansion.

240. Maybe he went upstairs. We can go look.

241. Perfect. That should keep me out of trouble until the guests leave.

242. - Ohh!

243. Missed me?

244. Petey?

245. Garfield!

246. Petey, no!

247. - Aaah!

248. Petey!

249. I thought so. I'll be right back.

250. Stay where you are! Don't come any closer!

251. Listen, it's a cruel, cold world out there,

252. full of mean, hungry cats, not pushovers like me.

253. I'll take my chances!

254. You'll have to fend for yourself!

255. And when you're sick, no one will make chicken soup for you!

256. Birds don't eat chicken soup.

257. Oh, right. Okay.

258. What about Betty? She'll be devastated. She raised and nurtured you.

259. Smothered me, you mean.

260. I've been wanting to break free from day one.

261. And thanks to you, I finally did. I'm free as a bird!

262. Farewell, Garfield!

263. No! No. Oh, no!

264. No. No, no!

265. - Petey. - Maybe it's for the best, Mom.

266. How many times have you brought him into the clinic because he banged

267. into a closet window?

268. He'll be happier out there.

269. I'll be honest, Arbuckle. I didn't like you the minute I saw you.

270. But after what your cat just did...

271. - I know, it's unforgivable. It's... - It's a miracle!

272. That darn bird was the bane of my existence.

273. I've been trying to get rid of him for ages, and thanks to that cat of yours,

274. he's gone for good!

275. From now on, Jon, you're part of the family.

276. Wow, I don't know what to say. Thank you, Mr...

277. - Bob? - Mr. Wilson. Don't push your luck.

278. Mmm!

279. Garfield?

280. I might as well get it over with. It's time to face my fate with dignity.

281. Beg!

282. Oh, merciful, merciful, Jon! Take pity on me! Oh, please.

283. Garfield, where have you been all afternoon?

284. Your reward is getting cold.

285. - My reward? Ta-da!

286. You earned it, Garfield!

287. Thanks to you, I'm on Mr. Wilson's good side now!

288. As it turns out, Liz's father couldn't stand that canary,

289. and you did him a huge favor by letting him escape.

290. Ah, Mr. Wilson, a man after my own heart.