The Garfield Show 1x10

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Garfield gets an awful tasting Pizza from Mama Meany's Pizza Palace, Vito's rival. Mama Meany is putting Vito out of business through coupons, contests and discounts and plans to expand the restaurant to take over Vito's. Garfield arranges for Eddie Gourmand to compare Mama Meany pizza with Vito's, bringing the closure of Mama Meany, and resumed success of Vito.

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1. And don't come back until you learn to stop waking me up.

2. Morning, Garfield.

3. Morning, Squeak.

4. Whoever invented the alarm clock

5. should be dragged into the street and beaten.

6. - Hi again, Garfield. - Hi again, Squeak.

7. No, that's too good for him.

8. Instead, they should make him sleep with an alarm clock nearby.

9. Hi one more time, Garfield.

10. Hi one more time, Squeak.

11. I'm getting an awful lot of Squeak this morning.

12. I'll figure out what's going on after breakfast.

13. Make that after lunch.

14. Whoaaaa!

15. Wheee!

16. Got it. Got it

17. We seem to have a mouse convention in progress.

18. Oh, well, it's not my problem.

19. What?

20. This is my problem!

21. - Squeak! - You squeaked?

22. Ahem. Look at what's in my dish.

23. There's nothing in your dish.

24. My point exactly.

25. Please, Garfield, old pal, old friend. Please be understanding.

26. You ate my breakfast.

27. All these mice, my cousins and uncles and nephews,

28. they had no place else to go.

29. They all lived in that big house down the block that just got torn down.

30. You ate my breakfast.

31. I couldn't just turn them away.

32. I couldn't just send them out into the cold, cruel snow.

33. It's 92 degrees outside. And you still ate my breakfast.

34. Look, Garfield, if you let us stay, we'll behave.

35. We can help out, do things for you, be your servants.

36. Servants?

37. Servants would be nice.

38. From now on, I'd like my grapes peeled.

39. - Peeled? - Peeled. And take out the seeds.

40. The seeds? Oh.

41. This is the life.

42. But I don't think I could take any more than,

43. oh, say about 20 or 30 years of it.

44. Or maybe 20 or 30 seconds.

45. Quick, everyone, hide! Am-scray!

46. Garfield! We're back!

47. - Unfortunately. What's the matter?

48. If Jon finds out the house is full of mice, he'll expect me to—

49. - Oh! Got it. There you are, Garfield.

50. Looks like everything's been peaceful while we were away.

51. Yeah, sure looks that way.

52. Hey, have that thing sanitized for my protection.

53. Hmm?

54. While I'm away, I always feel secure

55. knowing you're watching the house, Garfield.

56. I feel good when you're away, too.

57. I know there won't be any intruders or accidents, or mice.

58. Especially mice.

59. No, you're not smelling a mouse.

60. There isn't a mouse within 20 miles of here.

61. Get your nose fixed.

62. All that walking around Odie and I did,

63. I just kept thinking how good it would be to get home and...

64. just to relax in my home here knowing it's free from mice.

65. Because, as you know, nothing bothers me more than mice in my house.

66. Blecch! It was rough under there! I was just—

67. Oh!

68. Oww! Oww!

69. Maybe later we'll order from Lasagna Palace and then...

70. Garfield.

71. Is that a mouse?

72. Mouse? What mouse?

73. In your hand. That is a mouse.

74. What, this? Make like you're a toy.

75. Oh, no! This is a happy fun kitty toy thingie-ma-bob.

76. Oh, it's just a kitty toy thingie-ma-bob.

77. Squeak! Squeak!

78. Well, I guess it's cute. I need to get something to eat.

79. - Garfield said we should hide.

80. Ohh.

81. Garfield! Did you eat all my crackers?

82. Oh! We'd better get outta here.

83. What are you going to do about this?

84. I have mice in my cupboard!

85. I have mice in my silverware drawer!

86. I even have mice in my sink!

87. Uh, do you mind? I'm taking a bath here.

88. Garfield!

89. Mice everywhere. How did that happen? I have no idea.

90. - Well, I have to go water my ferns. - No, you don't. Come with me.

91. I saw this website and bookmarked it.

92. - It's for a service called Ratator Pest. - Ratator Pest?

93. Pay attention.

94. Couldn't we go to one of those websites where you can order pizza delivered?

95. Mouse problem in your house? Then why not call Ratator Pest?

96. Our trained specialists will rush to your home

97. where they will stop at nothing.

98. The mouse or rat hasn't lived who can defy the might of Ratator Pest.

99. They can run, they can hide like the rodents they are,

100. but they can never get away!

101. Ratator Pest. A mouse's worst nightmare.

102. Click here to order our service.

103. I'm not going to click... now, because they're expensive

104. and getting rid of mice is your job. I mean, you are the cat around here.

105. You are going to get rid of these mice. Every last one of them.

106. - I'm going out for a while. Come on, Odie.

107. If there's a single mouse here when I get back, I'm calling Ratator Pest.

108. And I'm deducting the cost from my cat food budget.

109. You won't see lasagna in this house for years.

110. For years? The barbarian. Why doesn't he just cut off my oxygen?

111. Guys, you've got to leave here.

112. Guys? Guys? Yoo-hoo!

113. Calling all mice, calling all mice!

114. - Squeak! - Hey, now that what's-his-name is gone,

115. we have the house to ourselves!

116. No, no, no, you've got to leave.

117. All of you. Right this minute, if not sooner.

118. No way, this is our new home.

119. Boo.

120. You think we're gonna run from that?

121. - Other cats scare mice. - Other cats eat mice.

122. You're gonna start eating mice, Garfield?

123. The very idea of it. - Then it looks like we're here to stay.

124. It's no use. It's not in my blood.

125. What am I gonna do? I'll lose my lasagna for at least a year.

126. Jon will call that horrible Ratator Pest.

127. That service thing on the Internet, that terrible Ratator Pest.

128. I know!

129. Squeak! I have to show you something.

130. Hey, I was making a sandwich.

131. Later. This is more important.

132. Ratator Pest, a mouse's worst nightmare. Click here to order our service.

133. This is awful.

134. Garfield, you wouldn't.

135. You're right. I wouldn't. But Jon would and will. Unless...

136. - Unless what? - Unless you go along with my plan.

137. Anything, anything.

138. Get all the mice together.

139. We're gonna have to rehearse before Jon returns.

140. Garfield, we're back. Are the mice gone yet?

141. Okay, I guess the mice aren't gone yet. That's it, I'm calling Ratator Pest!

142. Garfield, you handled that so well.

143. Naturally.

144. I feel like you deserve a reward, but I have no idea what it should be.

145. Oh! "Luigi's Lasagna Palace, we deliver."

146. Good idea, Garfield. I'll call and have them deliver hot lasagna.

147. You do that again and you'll wind up in the bag with them.

148. Garfield, lasagna's here! Garfield!

149. Hurry, everyone in.

150. Thanks for everything, Garfield.

151. Don't mention it. I hope you're happy living at Luigi's.

152. How could we not be? All the lasagna we can eat. See you.

153. All the lasagna they can eat.

154. Garfield, lasagna!

155. Funny. That usually gets him here in under three seconds.

156. Luigi! Luigi, where are you?

157. Oh, there you are. Luigi, you have to do something!

158. Call an exterminator to get rid of these mice.

159. Never mind the mice. I need an exterminator to get rid of him!

160. I think I'm gonna like it here.

161. Faster, Odie.

162. And angrier. I'm much more impatient than that.

163. I'd be pacing back and forth impatiently, but it's easier to have Odie do it for me.

164. Jon ordered that pizza almost 12 minutes ago.

165. It's too late for me. I'm famished.

166. Even if it came this minute, I'd be too weak to answer the door.

167. - I'll get it! - I'll bring in the pizza.

168. I'll bring in the pizza. You bring out the money.

169. Attention, hungry cat.

170. - You ever feed that cat? - No more than ten times a day.

171. Ahh! Vito's Pizza, the best pizza in the world.

172. Something is very wrong here.

173. That was the worst pizza I ever had. It was dry.

174. It was tasteless. Vito, what have you done to me?

175. "Mama Meany's Pizza Palace"?

176. I know it wasn't a Vito's pizza, but I had a coupon for this place.

177. You don't mind, do you?

178. Okay, I guess you mind a little.

179. Mr. Arbuckle, it is so good to see you.

180. - It is so good to see any customer. - Well, business isn't good, Vito?

181. Business is terrible since this new pizza shop opened next door.

182. Look at this monstrosity, Mama Meany's Pizza Palace! Ptooey!

183. Mama Meany's Pizza Palace Ptooey? She's the one who made that awful pizza?

184. They have coupons and deals and contests and they've stolen all my customers away.

185. So why not sell this dump of yours to me so I can expand my business?

186. - Never! - Are you...?

187. Right. I'm Mama Meany.

188. Here, have a coupon. Twelve pizzas for the price of one.

189. Twelve pizzas? That's quite a deal.

190. Not if they're not edible.

191. His pizzas are horrible the way he makes them.

192. Let Vito show you how pizza should be made.

193. The dough is hand-mixed. I taste it myself to make sure it is right.

194. Then I toss it in my hands.

195. I put on the sauce, lots of it! Then the cheese, even more of it!

196. And now I add the sausage and the pepperoni

197. and the onions and the mushrooms and the anchovies...

198. - All right. No anchovies.

199. That's quaint, but would you follow me, please?

200. Let me show you how we do it now, the modern, cost-effective way.

201. It's so much better to do it by machine.

202. The Pizzagrand 7000, capable of outputting ten pizzas a minute.

203. That thing makes pizzas?

204. Pizza by machine? That is inhuman. It is vulgar. It is ridiculous.

205. Pizza completed.

206. - There you are, piping-hot pizza. That is no way to make pizza.

207. I'll try a slice. Garfield, you want one?

208. No way. I've tried Mama Meany's alleged pizza.

209. Ohh! Mmm.

210. I'd like a pizza with everything, please.

211. - Allow me to show you how it works. - Yes, sir, Mama Meany.

212. One pizza with everything.

213. Hey! Do I look like a ball of dough? Don't answer that. Help!

214. This pizza tastes a lot like cardboard.

215. Uh, no, it doesn't. My all-meat special tastes like cardboard.

216. This one tastes like Styrofoam.

217. Pepperoni, onions, peppers, anchovies.

218. Hey, no anchovies.

219. - Pineapple? - Yes, fine.

220. - And five, four, three, two... - Pizza completed.

221. Here you go, pal.

222. When I said I wanted everything on my pizza,

223. I didn't mean a pussycat!

224. Hey, you're better off with me than one of this guy's rotten pizzas.

225. I'm sorry, Mama Meany. I will never order from you again.

226. But what if I offer you discounts?

227. Discounts?

228. And contests with big cash prizes?

229. Big cash prizes? Yes, yes.

230. You see? My promotions will trump your pizza every time.

231. Which is why you'll sell your business to me so I can tear it down and expand.

232. Vito's Pizza. I'm sorry, we are closing down and—

233. Yes, this is Eddie Gourmand, the world famous TV food critic.

234. I'm sure you have heard of me or seen me.

235. I've decided to try your pizza,

236. and if I like it, I will recommend it to the millions of people

237. who watch my reviews on television.

238. - Recommend my pizzas to millions? - That's right, millions.

239. So have a large pepperoni to my home, 747 Waffle Street,

240. in 30 minutes, or else bye-bye!

241. This is my chance! Eddie Gourmand is going to review my pizza!

242. Eddie Gourmand? But he has a huge following.

243. And what's worse, he has good taste!

244. Out of my way, Mama!

245. After Eddie Gourmand tells the world about my pizza,

246. crowds will flock to my store!

247. Well, we'll just have to make sure that doesn't happen.

248. But, Vito, I don't know anything about delivering pizzas.

249. My truck isn't working and the pizzas have to be at this address in...

250. - Twelve minutes. Hurry! - Hey, wait for the star of the show!

251. Forget them. We have to stop that pizza from being delivered.

252. Mama mia! Mama Meany is trying to stop the delivery! I cannot let that happen!

253. If I don't get to 747 Waffle Street, there will be no more Vito's Pizza!

254. Waffle Street? You'll have to find it on the map.

255. Which will be kind of hard since this is a map of Portugal.

256. - He's trying to run us off the road!

257. Whoaaaa!

258. Mama Meany. He's trying to stop us from delivering Vito's pizza!

259. Sure looks that way.

260. Okay, pal, lemme have that pizza!

261. What pizza? Do I have a pizza?

262. You've got just three seconds to hand over that pizza, fella!

263. This guy plays rough. I'd better do something.

264. I may need ammunition.

265. Listen, maybe we could forget all this pizza stuff

266. and send out for Chinese food?

267. Ahem. Oh, Mama, looks like you have a pizza delivery truck to go.

268. Our truck!

269. Onward, we have pizza to deliver.

270. - Don't let him get away!

271. Oh! They're right behind us!

272. These are Mama Meany's pizzas. Here's the only thing they're good for.

273. They make great Frisbees.

274. Look out! You're steering crazy!

275. I can't see, there's rancid pepperoni all over the windshield.

276. You did it, Garfield! Nothing can stop us now.

277. Whoaaaaaa!

278. It's no use! We have one minute to get the pizza to 747 Waffle Street.

279. Not so. This is 747 Waffle Street.

280. - We're here. Quick, give me the pizza. - Wait, that's not—

281. Just in time.

282. Well, it's about time. Ten more seconds and I'd give you a bad review!

283. Here, taste. You will love!

284. Ptooey! Why, this is the worst pizza I've ever eaten!

285. My pizza, the worst?

286. Here. Have a real Vito's pizza.

287. "Mama Meany's Pizza Palace?" This isn't Vito pizza.

288. Mmm! Yes, this is Vito's pizza.

289. Mmm!

290. This is the best pizza I've ever eaten.

291. Thank you, cat. I think you deserve some, too.

292. I thought you'd never offer.

293. So, for the best pizza on this entire plan-o-mundo-mundo...

294. go to Vito's.

295. And if you want the worst pizza on this planet, well, try Mama Meany's.

296. It stinks.

297. Ho-ho-ho! I love the Eddie Gourmand!

298. Every time they rerun that review, I get another hundred orders.

299. So I see.

300. Maybe I can retool the pizza-making machine

301. to make steel-belted radial tires. They taste about the same.

302. I am so grateful for your help, all of you.

303. From now on, as much pizza as you want, you are Vito's guests!

304. All the free pizza we want?

305. Will he ever stop?

306. Oh, sure. He's bound to hit anchovies eventually.