The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Season 2, Episode 6

Directed by Ellen Gittelsohn

Felton Perry as Lester • Charlayne Woodard as Janice • Diedrich Bader as Frank Schaeffer • Jenifer Lewis as Aunt Helen • Vernee Watson-Johnson as Vy Smith

Tensions spill over just before the wedding of Will's Aunt Janice when Will's mom meets Janice's intended - and forbids Will to attend the interracial wedding.

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1. Hi, mom.

2. So, what's my little man workin' so hard at?

3. Uhh! It's math. But, hey, this can wait.

4. You're only gonna be here a few days.

5. No, no. Don't worry about it.

6. I'll entertain myself. Go ahead.

7. Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute, babe.

8. Blow.

9. Mom, what are you doin'?

10. I said blow.

11. Good boy.

12. Put this on you.

13. Oh, come on, mom.

14. I'm sorry.

15. Y-you know what, mom? I can do this later.

16. Hey, why don't we go somewhere and have some fun?

17. Fun? William, you gotta learn how to concentrate.

18. Now, your schoolwork comes before anything else.

19. All right.

20. Will.

21. Now, keep studying.

22. put the champagne over there,

23. then go out and help set up the tables.

24. And if you value your tip, stop looking at my behind.

25. Oh, I can't believe

26. my baby sister's getting married.

27. I can. I just paid the florist.

28. Philip, all you ever think about is money.

29. No, that's not true, Vivian.

30. Sometimes I think about... Other things.

31. Would you two knock it off? You're married.

32. It's time you start actin' like it.

33. Viola, this is why I got married.

34. Mother, please. It's the nineties. And you know,

35. a woman doesn't have to be married to—

36. like, I read about it, ok?

37. Where do you want these?

38. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

39. Lady, don't you know any other words?

40. No.

41. I'm sorry. Pea green patio chairs?

42. I don't think so.

43. This is not a ninja turtle wedding.

44. Oh! Do I have to do everything myself?

45. Miss hilary, the day you do everything for yourself

46. will be the day I square-dance naked

47. on the white house lawn.

48. Do we have a safety deposit box?

49. I want to hide my things before aunt Helen and Uncle Lester

50. get here with Bobby.

51. Oh, Ashley, your cousin Bobby is not that bad.

52. Mom, last time he came here, he pulled off Barbie's arm

53. and burned down her dream house.

54. Now, now, Bobby, don't attack the squirrel!

55. I'm outta here.

56. Hey! Hi, everybody.

57. Helen, how are you?

58. Hi!

59. Hi, sweetie pie!

60. Oh, my, my, my!

61. Is this the banks's house or Buckingham Palace?

62. Hey, big sister vy.

63. You got a boyfriend yet?

64. There ain't no point in saving nothin' these days.

65. You hear what I'm sayin'?

66. The whole neighborhood hears what you sayin'.

67. Well, Helen, I see you still haven't come out of your shell.

68. Vivian, girl, you look good.

69. And you've lost weight in all the right places. Ha ha!

70. Philip, you look good...

71. And you look good.

72. Oh, where's Carlton?

73. Bobby, covering a person's eyes when they're driving

74. is not a very wise thing to do.

75. And don't ever call me a weenie-face in public again.

76. Well, we're in private now,

77. weenie-face.

78. Carlton, take the luggage upstairs.

79. Now, you three will sleep in Carlton's room,

80. and Carlton will sleep in will's room.

81. I wanna sleep with Carlton.

82. I always dreamt when I heard those words,

83. it'd be Paula Abdul sayin' them.

84. Oh, Lester, how about a little NFL action, huh?

85. Man, I'll take all the action I can get.

86. Yo, yo, yo, look who I found at the airport.

87. Divas!

88. Baby girl! Aah!

89. How are you doing?

90. Wait a minute. Now, where is the groom?

91. Frank is coming in the morning. He had to take care of some business.

92. Oh, yeah. Speaking of taking care of business, does he?

93. Forever is a long time, sister.

94. Not in front of will, please.

95. Viola, wake up. Will is 17 years old.

96. He's probably taken care

97. of a little business himself.

98. Haven't you, will?

99. Absolutely not!

100. Vivian, Frank and I appreciate you

101. givin' us this wedding on short notice.

102. Oh. I want you to be my matron of honor.

103. Oh, of course I will.

104. And, uh, guess who's gonna be the best man... Naturally.

105. Will?

106. Yo, now?

107. Hey, I did teach her how to burp on command.

108. And I did teach you how to dance.

109. Oh. Uh-oh.

110. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

111. Hold it, aunt Janice. Hold it.

112. That was, like, 10 years ago.

113. I'm, like, light-years ahead of you now.

114. Ahhh...

115. Ohh.

116. Yeah.

117. Thanks a lot, aunt Janice.

118. Ooh! I am so happy.

119. Ha!

120. Oh, look at the size of this rock!

121. Ooh, Gibraltar is a molehill.

122. Right. Later on this afternoon,

123. you ladies can go skatin' on it.

124. Aaahh!

125. Ok!

126. Boy, isn't this somethin'?

127. The Smith sisters are together again. Yes, we are.

128. The good, the bad, and the—

129. don't even try it.

130. You need a pedicure.

131. You know, I would crack on your feet,

132. but they don't reach all the way up here.

133. Will...

134. You want to get married?

135. All right, that's it! Get outta my bed!

136. Not to me, you pervert.

137. I'm sorry, man. This is L.A.

138. Well, I'm definitely getting married,

139. and I want my wife to be a virgin.

140. Well... You better hurry up, man.

141. Mother Teresa ain't gettin' no younger.

142. My wife—

143. the limber but unspoiled brigitta—

144. she'll be an excellent homemaker

145. and have the breasts the size of Australia.

146. I don't know, man. I just can't imagine

147. wakin' up to the same woman

148. every day for the rest of my life,

149. no matter how big Australia is.

150. Come on, will. You really don't want to get married?

151. I don't know, man. Uh... Maybe one day,

152. you know, when I'm old and gray,

153. you know, around 29, 30 years old.

154. Heck, by then, young Carlton will be interviewing for preschool,

155. and carltonette will be a little croissant in the oven.

156. Well, that's good. Then they'll be able to baby-sit little will,

157. Wilma, wilhemina, wilton, and baby Willa.

158. Good night, will.

159. Carlton?

160. Yeah?

161. Is that your feet, or did you break wind?

162. Sorry, will.

163. Janice, I'm startin' to get worried.

164. Shouldn't Frank be here by now?

165. Vivian, I know my sweetheart.

166. He'll be here because there's absolutely nothing else

167. he would rather be doing today.

168. Carlton, come on, man, it is not that serious.

169. I'm head Usher, and there's no one to seat.

170. I'll be all dressed up with absolutely nothin' to do.

171. Just think of it as one of your dates.

172. All right, Bobby, sit.

173. And stay.

174. Carlton, it's your shift.

175. I'm going to get my tubes tied.

176. Cousin Carlton,

177. tomorrow, can you take me to Disneyland?

178. Forget it!

179. I will not be an accomplice to the murder of Mickey mouse.

180. You know, Bobby, I love it when you come to visit, man.

181. They appreciate me so much more when you leave.

182. Oh, it's him!

183. I gotta go fix my makeup.

184. Mr. Frank shaeffer.

185. Oh, yeah.

186. Oh, yeah.

187. Yes! Yes!

188. Welcome to our family.

189. I'm vy. I raised Janice.

190. And, lookin' at you, I know I raised her right.

191. Those are the other two sisters.

192. Ah, yes, yes.

193. Cute, cute, cute, and cute.

194. A dangerous combination. Ha ha ha!

195. Why don't you come in, make yourself comfortable?

196. Hey.

197. Your little woman will be down any minute.

198. Great.

199. Mmm, mmm, mmm!

200. Thanks a lot, buddy.

201. Thanks.

202. Baby!

203. Ohhh...

204. Hey, my brother, you gonna let her tip him like that?

205. Man, what does she do when y'all eat out?

206. Everybody, this is Frank.

207. Frank, this is everybody.

208. Come on, honey.

209. I'll show you to your room.

210. Ahem. Excuse me, but, uh...

211. What happened to the little lady y'all promised me?

212. Here's $5.00. Go find your own.

213. Gee, when Janice described him,

214. she didn't mention that he was...

215. Tall.

216. Not that I have any problem

217. with people who— who are... Tall.

218. My cousin used to date a girl who was, uh... Tall.

219. Heck, the boys go to a predominantly... Tall school.

220. Am I alone in this, or didn't y'all notice he was white?

221. What the hell is wrong with Janice?

222. I'm sorry. Did I say white?

223. I meant tall.

224. He didn't seem that tall to me.

225. I do not want my sister marryin' that man!

226. But aunt j seems so happy.

227. Doesn't she?

228. And—and that's what we want for her.

229. Isn't it?

230. vy, this is her decision.

231. Let Janice do what she wants to do.

232. Well, she can do it without us.

233. Come on, will.

234. Hey, wait. Mom. Mom. Hold up.

235. Wait. I'm the best man.

236. Not anymore, you're not. I said, come on.

237. She breast-fed me.

238. Aaahh! Ohh! Ohh!

239. Vivian!

240. You gave me a start!

241. What are you doing down here in the dark?

242. I couldn't find the lights

243. in this bowlin' alley you call a kitchen.

244. Oh, I couldn't sleep, either.

245. Oh, I hope this wedding doesn't turn into a disaster.

246. Now, look, I don't care

247. if Frank is black, white, or candy-apple red.

248. I've been on slim fast for the last two weeks

249. to fit into my dress.

250. Now, somebody's gonna marry somebody up in here!

251. Oh, the hell with it.

252. Start slicin' up that ham.

253. Girl, this family has sure had its share of surprises.

254. Do you remember the last reunion

255. when Uncle Reuben came out of the closet?

256. How could I forget?

257. He came out wearin' my purple leather suit.

258. I guess you guys couldn't sleep either, huh?

259. Ohhh... Ohhh...

260. Janice, what are you doing up?

261. Tomorrow's your big day.

262. Yeah, right. Looks like I caused a big mess as usual.

263. Oh, don't be so hard on yourself.

264. You don't always cause a big mess.

265. Yes, she does.

266. She's the one that told Uncle Reuben

267. he looked good in purple.

268. Janice, why didn't you tell anybody about Frank?

269. I guess I was hoping... No one would notice?

270. Honey, who'd you think

271. you were bringing him home to, Stevie wonder?

272. I was afraid you wouldn't approve.

273. Janice, you do not need our approval.

274. But are you sure this is what you want to do?

275. Vivian, there's not a doubt in my mind.

276. Then I guess I better pick up some Barry manilow

277. for the reception.

278. Look... I think there are a lot

279. of fine young brothers out there

280. just as good as Frank.

281. But you can't control

282. who you fall in love with. Uh-uh.

283. If he's still here in the mornin',

284. honey, I say marry him.

285. What's goin' on in here?

286. Uh-oh.

287. Oh, we just thought we'd have a little snack

288. before we went upstairs.

289. What's upstairs, the electric chair?

290. Oh, come on, vy, come on, sit down with us

291. and have a snack.

292. No, that's all right. I know you really don't want me to.

293. Of course we do! Don't we?

294. Mm-hmm. Come on, sit down, vy.

295. So...

296. Here we are...

297. Together again, the Smith sisters.

298. Loud, live, and in color.

299. More like quiet, evil, and colored.

300. Janice, you should have told me he was white.

301. Uh-oh, clear the table.

302. I think she's gonna blow.

303. Vy, I am sick to death of your attitude.

304. Now, if you don't want to be here, just leave.

305. I mean, if you don't want me to marry Frank, so who cares?

306. Baby, don't you have enough problems

307. being an African-American woman?

308. You need a white husband

309. to further complicate things?

310. What about Frank? This isn't gonna make his life any easier.

311. Have you thought about that?

312. You thought about your children

313. or the jobs or friends you may lose

314. because some bigot fails to see the beauty

315. in your marriage?

316. Honey, I did not make the rules,

317. but I do know how to play the game.

318. For survival, Janice,

319. please don't marry this man.

320. Vy, Frank and I are aware

321. of everything you just said.

322. We can handle it, sis.

323. You are making a terrible, terrible mistake.

324. Well, I guess she'll be on the first broom

325. back to Philly.

326. Hey, yo, Frank, what you doin', man?

327. Oh, just tryin' to get some color.

328. It's goin' great, man. For a second there,

329. I thought you was Wesley snipes.

330. Look, son...

331. This is a big step you're about to take.

332. Now, first, you're not into any gambling

333. or fancy women, are you?

334. No, I'm a pretty straight guy.

335. Oh, that was gonna be my next question.

336. Look, man, Janice is like my big sister,

337. and I just want to make sure she's in good hands.

338. Well, don't worry, will. I really love her,

339. and I'm gonna do my best to make her happy.

340. And when you come visit, you can borrow my Porsche.

341. Got my blessin', man.

342. Hey, wanna grab somethin' to eat?

343. Super.

344. So, you need any tips on sex?

345. No, not really.

346. Got any for me?

347. Look, mom... We have a difference of opinion. Ok?

348. But I've made a decision,

349. and I'm not afraid to say it.

350. Now, I'm goin' to the...

351. To the library.

352. Aren't you a little overdressed?

353. Well, I just thought

354. that I would, you know, drop in on the, on the, um...

355. On—on the thing. You know, but...

356. You mean the wedding.

357. I heard it referred to as that before.

358. Will, I already told you. You're not going to that wedding.

359. Come on. Look, mom, I have to go. I can't disappoint aunt j.

360. Aunt j?

361. Boy, I'm the one

362. you should be worryin' about disappointing.

363. Look—look, mom. Mom. I think I'm old enough

364. to make this decision for myself.

365. Oh! Oh...

366. Oh, now—now you, too?

367. Boy, I raised you, your aunt Vivian, aunt Helen,

368. and your aunt j.

369. Now, all of a sudden,

370. everybody knows more than me.

371. Look, mom, what you feel about Frank—

372. I mean, it might be cool for you,

373. but that's not cool for aunt Janice.

374. I sacrificed a lot for Janice,

375. and it's quite obvious

376. that she doesn't respect me anymore,

377. which also means she doesn't care about me anymore.

378. Well, that's fine because I don't care about her, either.

379. Mom, what are you saying?

380. What, everybody that loves you

381. gotta do exactly what you say?

382. I mean... What if I don't choose the college that you want

383. or I don't choose the profession you want

384. or don't live in the city that you want?

385. What, you're gonna stop lovin' me, too?

386. Look, mom, I hope not 'cause, look, I really love you.

387. I really, really love you, mom,

388. but I'm going to the...

389. To the—to the— to the thing.

390. If I can just make it to that door.

391. Will, what are you doin' in that tux?

392. I'm—I'm goin' to the—to the, um...

393. T-to the thing.

394. Hey, man, I can say it to you.

395. I'm goin' to the wedding, man!

396. Great. Then you'll get to see my surprise.

397. Since aunt Janice is of the negroid persuasion

398. and Frank is of the caucasoid persuasion,

399. I have compiled a special medley of songs. Give a listen.

400. So, what do you think?

401. I think you were deprived of oxygen at birth.

402. May our love burn as bright as this candle.

403. May its flame burn eternally in our hearts.

404. If there is anyone who thinks that Janice and Frank

405. should not be joined together in holy matrimony,

406. let them speak now

407. or forever hold their peace.

408. Oh, lord have mercy.

409. Why are you all looking at me?

410. Reverend, go on with the ceremony.

411. We are paying you by the hour.

412. yeah!