The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Season 2, Episode 21

Directed by Malcolm-Jamal Warner

Arnold Johnson as Sam • Raven-Symoné as Claudia • Vernee Watson-Johnson as Vy Smith • Hawthorne James as George • Bill Overton as Robert Watson

Will dislikes his mother's new boyfriend.

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1. having breakfast with Rico suave?

2. No. Mom and Robert sent me this from Mexico.

3. That looks just like the hat

4. you gave me for my birthday.

5. Don't worry, g. I'll have it back in your room in an hour.

6. Geoffrey, would you put these in a vase?

7. Yes, madam.

8. I got all of vy's favorite things—

9. pineapple juice,

10. brownies...

11. How did this playboy get in here?

12. Uh, I bought it.

13. It's a special legal edition.

14. The centerfold wants to be

15. a supreme-court justice.

16. I had the hardest time deciding what to wear

17. to meet aunt vy's new boyfriend.

18. I've never known anyone in construction

19. except for that guy in the village people.

20. Yeah, well, his daughter can sleep in my room,

21. but if she touches my stuff,

22. I'm stuffing her in the clothes hamper.

23. What? It's not like hilary never did it.

24. Well, I am so excited.

25. This is the first time

26. vy's brought anybody home to meet the family.

27. Could be serious.

28. No, no, no. Not with my mom.

29. All she's trying to do is get to

30. her retirement plan and her rocking chair.

31. Is that why she's moon-walking up the driveway?

32. Diva!

33. Well, look at you, baby!

34. Hey, your complexion has cleared up.

35. Yeah, mom.

36. So did yours.

37. Oh, um...

38. Hey, baby!

39. Hey, you must be Robert.

40. You're funny.

41. You must be Carlton.

42. Well, no. You see...

43. Actually, Carlton is the funny-looking one over there.

44. See, I'm will,

45. but you can just call me your majesty.

46. I may be small, but I'm not ignorant.

47. Everyone,

48. this is Robert's daughter Claudia.

49. Hi, sweetheart.

50. Hi, Claudia. I'm hilary.

51. Oh, my God.

52. Isn't she the cutest little thing

53. you've ever seen?

54. Not really.

55. And I would like for you to meet...

56. Robert.

57. Isn't he the biggest hunk you've ever seen?

58. Not really.

59. where's vy? Breakfast's getting cold.

60. Knowing vy, she's upstairs freshening up.

61. No. Not my mom.

62. First thing she does when she gets anywhere

63. is kick off her shoes,

64. roll her hair up into one of them twists,

65. and put on one of my big old sweat suits.

66. Sorry, everybody.

67. I just had to freshen up a little bit.

68. You like my new pearls?

69. Yeah. But they'd probably look better

70. with one of my old sweat suits.

71. You can borrow them anytime, baby.

72. Wait, mom. Hold it.

73. I put your favorite breakfast together for you—

74. waffles with boysenberry syrup,

75. eggs—extra runny—

76. and sausage— extra burnt.

77. Thank you, baby,

78. but I'm eating lighter these days.

79. You want half my melon?

80. Baby, you know me like the back of your hand,

81. but I need some juice.

82. Anybody else want anything while I'm up?

83. Long as I'm around, you're not lifting a finger.

84. May I?

85. Philip...

86. I feel a little thirsty, too.

87. Robert, you mind getting Vivian something to drink?

88. And toss me a puddin' pop.

89. The refrigerator doesn't open right. Mind if I look at it?

90. Be my guest, but the repairman said

91. we had to order new door hinges.

92. Hold up, Robert! I can take care of that.

93. G, I need a screwdriver, wrench, t-square,

94. and about a week off from school.

95. All done.

96. Oh, sure.

97. It's just going to break again in 20 years.

98. Robert can fix anything.

99. He's in construction.

100. Tell 'em, baby.

101. I'm in construction.

102. Keep your fingers crossed.

103. He's working on this big deal with the government,

104. and he's expecting to hear from them any day.

105. If the deal goes through, he'll be his own boss.

106. I'm working on a big deal.

107. You know, down at the restaurant where I work,

108. I'm about to be promoted to vice president

109. in charge of keeping bums out of the entryway.

110. Robert, you know how to fix a broken dish?

111. Sure. You got any super glue?

112. I was talking about our satellite dish.

113. So am I.

114. Sweetie, why don't you show Claudia our backyard?

115. Well, why?

116. It's hot, it's smoggy,

117. plus I won't be able to hear nothing you all saying.

118. That's the point, big guy.

119. Come on.

120. So, did he pop the question?

121. Ashley, where are your manners?

122. I'm sorry.

123. Did he pop the question,

124. please?

125. Not yet,

126. but he's planning on building this dream house,

127. and he did mention "his and her" sinks.

128. Let the maids worry about the sinks.

129. What does he drive?

130. The important question is

131. does his mother like you.

132. She's dead.

133. Girlfriend, you're in.

134. I like your bracelet.

135. I bet it would look very cute on my little wrist.

136. Sorry. A friend gave this to me.

137. That's cool.

138. I'm not down with opp anyway.

139. You want to see some pictures?

140. Oh, yeah, sure.

141. Whoa. That's you and my mom.

142. My dad took it in the backyard.

143. We were having a barbecue.

144. Claudia, now, after this barbecue,

145. you guys had the junk and stuff in your teeth,

146. um... Did my mom have to go home to use a toothbrush,

147. or did she already have one there?

148. She used dental floss.

149. O.K., uh...

150. Is my mom over your house

151. more during good morning America

152. or arsenio?

153. Or is she there for arsenio

154. and then still there for good morning America?

155. Are you trying to trick me to find out

156. how serious they are?

157. So, you think they're pretty serious?

158. Will, I know how you feel.

159. Believe me, I've been there.

160. Let's face it.

161. Those two kids are nuts about each other.

162. My brother, it's time you wake up

163. and smell the play-doh.

164. Hey, baby.

165. Oh, mom, you're half naked.

166. Come on,

167. you don't want Robert to get the wrong idea.

168. Damn straight. You don't think

169. I'm doing these butt busters for my health.

170. That's it, young lady.

171. You go to your room... In Philly.

172. Boy, hush up and help me move this table.

173. Can we get started?

174. I feel a little bloated.

175. Whoa, whoa. Hold it, mom.

176. Why ain't you hooked me up

177. with one of them pink chumpies?

178. I couldn't find one with a fly.

179. Ready? And, uh-1...

180. And 2, and 3, and 4.

181. Man, Jane Fonda got a butt like arsenio.

182. I could do that if I had the right outfit.

183. Uh...

184. Maybe not.

185. I'd like to have kids one day.

186. Yo, man, what's up?

187. Man, you caught me. I was trying to surprise you.

188. When you say "surprise,"

189. you don't mean like I'm driving down a big hill,

190. then all of a sudden

191. "surprise"-- my brakes don't work?

192. You got the same sense of humor as your mom.

193. Don't try to distract me. What you doing to my ride?

194. Your mom and I borrowed the car.

195. I saw you needed a water pump,

196. so I picked one up.

197. Pretty decent of you. You need some help?

198. Nope. All done. She'll purr like a kitten.

199. My grandpa taught me how to fix cars.

200. That's fascinating. Where did you meet my mom?

201. She picked me up in a bar.

202. Hey, man!

203. No. An oyster bar.

204. I was a little shy,

205. so, luckily, she came up and talked to me.

206. What she talk about?

207. You.

208. Is it true you took your diaper off

209. and ran around sears naked?

210. You're damn right!

211. And I'd do it again if I had to.

212. Robert, it's Mr. Collins from the department of housing.

213. I think this is the call, baby!

214. Hello?

215. Uh-huh.

216. Uh-huh.

217. Uh-huh. Right.

218. Uh-huh.

219. He does have a certain gift for gab.

220. O.K.

221. Well, thank you very much.

222. I got the job!

223. So, what kind of marble do you want

224. for those "his and her" sinks?

225. Congratulations, Robert.

226. Landing a government contract is a hell of a deal.

227. I'd like to impart some words I've always lived by—

228. mo' money, mo' money, mo' money.

229. That's beautiful, dad.

230. I have to admit success is sweet.

231. Having three beautiful women to share it with

232. makes it even sweeter.

233. Especially when they're triplets.

234. I'll get the munchies.

235. Hey, uh, congratulations, Robert.

236. It's nice to hear you're going to have money now.

237. Guess them old girlfriends are going to be coming

238. out of the woodworks.

239. Actually, your mother's the only woman I've dated since my divorce.

240. Oh, that is so sweet, isn't that, Philip?

241. Philip?

242. Huh?

243. Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart.

244. I—I was looking for some beer nuts.

245. I feel pretty lucky.

246. How about that tennis game you promised me?

247. You got it.

248. Uncle Phil, no jumping over the net.

249. This is such a big night for Robert.

250. I'm gonna make him a special dinner.

251. Honey, save the rice. You'll be needing it for the wedding.

252. What? Whoa, come on.

253. M-mom.

254. Now, look, I didn't want to bring this up,

255. but I was standing behind Robert in the mirror.

256. Dude ain't got no reflection.

257. Will, would you stop fooling around?

258. I really want to fix Robert something special.

259. What should I make?

260. How about reservations?

261. What about will's favorite dish?

262. It's not every day he gets to have his mom

263. prepare him a home-cooked meal.

264. You know, Carlton, you're right.

265. So what would my son like for dinner?

266. Well, I feel like something exotic.

267. Mmm.

268. O.K.

269. How about Lebanese?

270. You think Robert will mind swinging by beirut?

271. I'm sorry, Geoffrey. You better reheat the asparagus.

272. Will's still not here.

273. How's the chicken holding up?

274. I'm afraid it's drier than happy hour

275. at the Betty Ford center, madam.

276. I can't believe will is acting like this.

277. Did I do something?

278. Maybe it was a mistake

279. bringing Robert and Claudia here.

280. Don't be so hard on yourself.

281. Now, I'm sure there's a good reason

282. and it has nothing to do with you and Robert.

283. Mom, we're starved.

284. Claudia's being selfish with her pez.

285. Carlton, you just have to know how to ask.

286. Now can I have Barbie's head back?

287. Listen, will's not going to show up.

288. Why don't you kids go ahead on and eat?

289. Good.

290. The willster must be feeling pretty low

291. to pull a stunt like this.

292. I haven't seen him this upset

293. since someone told him he looked like me.

294. He's just hard-headed.

295. I don't know where he gets it from.

296. I do. Gets it from you.

297. I'm the understanding sister.

298. Helen is the loud one.

299. Janice is the flighty one,

300. and you are the hard-headed one.

301. I thought I was the sweet one.

302. You said you were the sweet one.

303. When we tried to tell you you weren't,

304. you wouldn't listen because you're too hard-headed.

305. As much as I enjoy these

306. wonderful walks down memory Lane,

307. I'm pooped. I'm going to bed.

308. Why don't we try to enjoy what's left of dinner?

309. Wait—how can you eat at a time like this?

310. Vivian, I can't get this out of my mind.

311. How can you say I'm hard-headed?

312. Gee, I don't know where

313. I could have gotten that idea.

314. Will, thank God I found you.

315. Carlton, how did you know I was down here?

316. Did my mom send you down here to get me?

317. No.

318. Oh.

319. I snuck out. I was worried about you.

320. As you can see, I'm fine.

321. Will, you don't have to hide

322. behind that macho exterior with me.

323. I see your frightened inner child,

324. and I'm here to say come out and play.

325. You been watching too much Oprah, man.

326. You can never watch too much Oprah.

327. If it wasn't for her show,

328. I'd still be in denial about my drinking.

329. Look, I know how you feel about Robert.

330. But you're not the only one who gets jealous.

331. How do you think I felt when you moved in?

332. You was jealous of me?

333. Sure. You're tall, good at basketball,

334. the babes love you.

335. Of course, none of that will help you in the corporate world,

336. but for the next year or so, you're sitting pretty.

337. It was real nice of you to come down here, man.

338. You ain't seeing my girlfriend

339. or nothing, are you?

340. Will, I just want you to know

341. if your mom abandons you and gets married,

342. you'll always have me...

343. Because...

344. Well...

345. You're like the brother I've always wanted.

346. Thanks a lot, Carlton.

347. For not hugging you, right?

348. No. For saying that I'm like the brother

349. that you always wanted.

350. And for not hugging me, man.

351. I'm sorry. This hasn't turned out to be much of a celebration.

352. I'm the one that should apologize. It's my fault.

353. I was so eager for will to like me,

354. I came on too strong.

355. Uh, so how was dinner?

356. Any leftovers?

357. Where the hell have you been?

358. Boy, time flies when you're running up to your bedroom.

359. I'm right behind you, Carlton.

360. Hey, I'm surprised you even noticed I was gone,

361. you know, what with your man here and all.

362. Don't you use that tone of walk with me.

363. Now you sit your butt down

364. before I sit it down for you.

365. Well, all right, but I'm picking my own chair.

366. Boy, sit down!

367. What a coincidence.

368. That's the one I was going to pick.

369. William, you have ruined

370. what was supposed to be a very special evening.

371. Well, you ruined what was supposed to be

372. a very special visit.

373. It ain't like I get to see you all the time.

374. Why do you have to bring them?

375. I brought them because they're important to me,

376. and I wanted them

377. to meet the most important person in my life.

378. Did you ever think about what I wanted?

379. Robert's my man. Claudia's so adorable.

380. You went off and started a whole new family without me.

381. Baby...

382. Don't you know there is no family without you?

383. Nobody can take your place.

384. I'm your mother,

385. but I'm human, honey.

386. I have needs, too.

387. Do you expect me to be alone forever?

388. Yeah.

389. I mean, you've done good this far.

390. Well, I think you're being very immature.

391. Am not.

392. You're the only parent I got,

393. and I don't want to share you.

394. Well, I'm sorry, baby.

395. That is not your decision.

396. Will, listen,

397. I am not with Robert

398. because he makes you feel bad.

399. I'm with him because he makes me feel good.

400. You're my son, baby.

401. I love you. I care about you,

402. but I have got to live my own life.

403. Now you can ruin what's left of this trip,

404. or you can make it work.

405. It's up to you,

406. but that's all that's up to you.

407. Hi, will.

408. Hey, Claudia.

409. You know, will, there are a lot of advantages

410. to our parents getting together.

411. The guilt alone will get us both ponies.

412. I'm not into using guilt for my personal gain.

413. Temper tantrums—that's where the money is.

414. You slay me, will.

415. You know, will.

416. You would make a great brother.

417. I'm not so bad, either.

418. When you take me to the parks with you,

419. I can attract more babes than a puppy.

420. What time is your flight?

421. I hate saying goodbye to you.

422. It's the only time I cry.

423. Are you kidding, child? You cry more than Richard Simmons.

424. Thanks for the hospitality.

425. Our pleasure.

426. Just be sure you take care of vy.

427. Uh, Robert, hold up, man.

428. Um...

429. I just wanted to a-a-apologize

430. for—for messing up your celebration.

431. Next time you come out, dinner on me?

432. I appreciate it, man.

433. I'll be right there.

434. I guess this is goodbye.

435. I guess it is.

436. He's all right.

437. Well, you're "all right," too.

438. In fact, you are the greatest son

439. a mom ever had.

440. I'm going to miss you, Claudia.

441. I'm going to miss you, too.

442. Thanks for letting me Polish your shoes,

443. hang up your clothes, and vacuum your room.

444. It was really fun playing Geoffrey.

445. What? It's not like hilary never did it.

446. Come on, Claudia.

447. Bye, will.

448. Wait. Hold up, Claudia.

449. I think you're forgetting something.

450. But your friend gave it to you.

451. Yeah, but you're a better friend,

452. and, besides, you can spy on my mom for me.

453. I'd like to impart some words

454. that I've always lived by—

455. mo' money. Mo' money...

456. I'd like to impart some words

457. that I've always lived by...

458. You know... I'm trying to be a professional here.